1
00:00:27,612 --> 00:00:28,446
‎妳還好吧？

2
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:31,783
‎我們繼續

3
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:48,633
‎討厭，安卓正在直播
‎《這是嶄新的安卓》，要聽嗎？

4
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,634
‎好吧

5
00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:55,640
‎各位卓粉大家好，歡迎收聽
‎《這是嶄新的安卓》週日特輯

6
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,184
‎我是你們的主持人安卓

7
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,019
‎大家都知道

8
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,648
‎這個播客通常是講述自我關愛

9
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,733
‎但有時候創傷太深

10
00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:07,860
‎就算全天下的自我幫助都無法解決

11
00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:11,280
‎我最近發現我的男友
‎和我最要好的女性朋友

12
00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:13,282
‎他們背著我外遇

13
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,160
‎-完了
‎-完了

14
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,788
‎當場抓到他們嘴對嘴
‎而她並不需要人工呼吸

15
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,414
‎我暫停讓你們倒抽一口氣

16
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,583
‎背叛比謀殺更糟糕

17
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:24,043
‎甚至比殺狗的人更糟

18
00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:27,213
‎因為起碼他們的受害者
‎已經脫離苦海

19
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,757
‎你以為你很了解自己的朋友和愛人

20
00:01:29,841 --> 00:01:31,926
‎直到他們用情緒的老二
‎捅穿了你的心

21
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,386
‎真心被老二捅穿，無藥可救

22
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,138
‎抱歉，這太過分了嗎？

23
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,682
‎我無法跟人傾訴，因為我整個大崩潰

24
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,060
‎但我說真的

25
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,646
‎哪有人會想傷害愛著他們的人？

26
00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,440
‎所以這要怎麼辦呢？

27
00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:51,070
‎通常我會說
‎展現寬大的心胸，忍辱負重

28
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,907
‎但在很罕見的時刻
‎就連原諒都不足夠

29
00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:56,534
‎因為痛苦實在太深

30
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,287
‎遇到這樣深切的痛苦

31
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,582
‎你需要把這些混蛋的名字公諸於世

32
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,585
‎我操，小卡和黛咪！

33
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,588
‎菲利瑞吉，我的青春

34
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:16,512
‎家裡沒有衛生紙了，妳也該洗衣服

35
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,306
‎特別是有一件妳的T恤

36
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:21,809
‎有可能被當成了衛生紙

37
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,356
‎這是愛馬仕的嗎？

38
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,777
‎手縫捲邊？完美的染印

39
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:37,366
‎有版權喔？
‎慢著，這是真貨！打哪來的？

40
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,076
‎妳有在援交嗎？開個玩笑

41
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,704
‎但我說真的，妳不該偷東西

42
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:45,249
‎所以她很有錢
‎你看買得起這個的人會住在哪裡？

43
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,421
‎我感覺到海岸的調調

44
00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:55,843
‎或也嗅到了卡戴珊家
‎居住的卡拉巴薩斯氣息

45
00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,096
‎不對，我聞到了…

46
00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:03,726
‎下垂的寶貝蛋、網球場，比佛利山

47
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,356
‎那是香奈兒五號嗎？

48
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,274
‎不是

49
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,029
‎香奈兒十號，所以她是雙倍有錢

50
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322
‎錢來也

51
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,866
‎貝萊爾、霍姆比山？

52
00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:22,787
‎別忘了跟羅斯提說
‎把衛生紙加入購物清單

53
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,872
‎等等，你對報復的立場是什麼？

54
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:28,042
‎我完全支持，除非和妳的T恤有關

55
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:28,960
‎無關

56
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,711
‎那好，我完全支持

57
00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:39,679
‎這裡不行，抱歉
‎曬恩愛感覺像是公開對安卓不敬

58
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,847
‎別被他在節目上說的話影響

59
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,100
‎我是第三者，現在全校都知道了

60
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,518
‎妳是唯一的女王

61
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,687
‎這正是我不想跟他分手的原因

62
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,647
‎因為我知道他的反應會是這樣

63
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,817
‎我們這樣對他是很大的創傷

64
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,278
‎萬一他無法再對人打開心房怎麼辦？

65
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:57,530
‎緊身牛仔褲退流行的時候
‎他也很創傷

66
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,156
‎我想他不會有事的

67
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,866
‎他說他整個大崩潰

68
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:04,829
‎好，妳聽我說，妳我都不想傷害安卓
‎但事情發生了就發生了

69
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,707
‎我們無法改變，也控制不了他怎麼想

70
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:11,168
‎我們只能設法看開這件事
‎專注在我們倆身上

71
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:14,213
‎黛咪，我們終於有機會在一起了

72
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,799
‎破壞人家家庭！

73
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,592
‎什麼家庭啊？

74
00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:24,890
‎報復！

75
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,185
‎痛耶，葛蘿莉亞，搞什麼鬼？
‎妳幹嘛用球砸我的臉？

76
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,646
‎抱歉，我是瞄準你的鳥蛋

77
00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:32,231
‎我都坐著是要怎麼瞄準？

78
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,150
‎-不重要！
‎-那好

79
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:37,278
‎一點都不好，你竟敢敷衍我妹妹？

80
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,781
‎慢著，妳幹嘛生氣？
‎妳要我愛上妳妹嗎？

81
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:44,327
‎有何不可？
‎反正你愛一堆人！渣男！

82
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:47,288
‎葛蘿莉亞，站住，妳這樣很瘋

83
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,500
‎我讓你見識什麼才叫做瘋

84
00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:53,878
‎送你一根中指

85
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,965
‎葛蘿莉亞，得了吧
‎妳不是真的要揍…

86
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,843
‎聽說妳被人用午餐霸凌

87
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,887
‎嘿！葛蘿莉亞在打架！

88
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:03,929
‎葛蘿莉亞在打架？

89
00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,308
‎什麼？但依內絲在這裡啊

90
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:14,023
‎嘿…住手…

91
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,319
‎葛蘿莉亞

92
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:19,487
‎我無話可說了

93
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,156
‎那好，我們明天再說好了

94
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,242
‎先等我重新挑戰屈臂吊單槓紀錄

95
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,786
‎不行

96
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:28,579
‎請問有什麼事？

97
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,539
‎我來是因為我女兒葛蘿莉亞

98
00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:33,959
‎這樣啊，我以為會是你的伴侶過來

99
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,836
‎-我的伴侶？
‎-抱歉

100
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,339
‎我是說你的丈夫，哈維耶？

101
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,256
‎我就是哈維耶

102
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,843
‎這樣在府上一定很常搞混

103
00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:46,305
‎說來說去，如你所知
‎這次是葛蘿莉亞的三振出局

104
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,640
‎她一好球是何時？

105
00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,896
‎先是偷開派對，現在又這樣？
‎我真不知道妳怎麼了，小蘿

106
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,148
‎東尼奧！

107
00:05:56,232 --> 00:05:57,274
‎哈維耶？

108
00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,318
‎不好了

109
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:02,488
‎-這不是我的牙醫診所
‎-我不知道是誰讓我比較不爽

110
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,032
‎是我脾氣暴躁的女兒還是我的蠢弟弟

111
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:05,991
‎你幹嘛冒充我？

112
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:10,788
‎說是模仿還更像是原創詮釋

113
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,665
‎再說我從沒想到會被你發現

114
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,500
‎妳就不能管好自己的拳頭嗎？

115
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,960
‎害我可能要付職災補償

116
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,712
‎你少怪我
‎家裡電話怎麼沒轉接到你的手機？

117
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,132
‎-那我幹嘛付你錢？
‎-妳還付他錢喔？

118
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,844
‎沒有準時支付
‎電話有轉接，但妳同時又傳訊息給我

119
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:27,179
‎手機通話會斷掉
‎因為妳爸不願意升級資費

120
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,347
‎你用我的家庭方案？

121
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,809
‎再說我哪知道大中午的妳爸會在家？

122
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,395
‎對啊，爸，你怎麼會在家裡？

123
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,355
‎中午你從來不在家

124
00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,482
‎-發生了什麼事？
‎-妳姐被退學了

125
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,733
‎-退學？
‎-退學？

126
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,153
‎為了我出頭？我沒叫妳這樣做啊！

127
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:46,282
‎這下就說得通了，依內絲
‎妳幹了啥好事？幹嘛害妳姐被退學？

128
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:47,366
‎我啥都沒做啊

129
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,659
‎這和依內絲無關

130
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,120
‎葛蘿莉亞，不要保護妳妹妹

131
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,747
‎我對妳太失望了！

132
00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:56,167
‎我也是

133
00:06:58,419 --> 00:06:59,753
‎抱歉，我還在哈維耶模式

134
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,172
‎你先回我的車子那兒！

135
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,175
‎還有妳，妳姐需要妳做後盾
‎妳跑哪去了？

136
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,301
‎這為什麼是我的錯？

137
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:09,221
‎依內絲，不要自私
‎妳們理當要互相照應

138
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:10,806
‎妳快去上課…走了

139
00:07:13,893 --> 00:07:14,727
‎抱歉

140
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:20,357
‎他害我們喝醉
‎又把我們鎖在同一個房間

141
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,526
‎我們綁手綁腳，是真的綁手

142
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,654
‎而且真要說的話，是我們的愛先開始

143
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,115
‎安卓來攪局
‎我們七年級那時跟他完全不熟

144
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:29,700
‎所以這不是我們的錯

145
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,454
‎所以誰都不該針對這件事或是不爽

146
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,832
‎眼前有全球暖化
‎加上北極熊快被淹死

147
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:39,835
‎大家應該不爽北極熊的事才對啊

148
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,671
‎妳在跟我說話嗎？

149
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:44,256
‎沒有

150
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:51,639
‎你看看…有人心情像是洗了三溫暖
‎有沒有很內疚啊？

151
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,890
‎安卓，可以聊聊嗎？

152
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,809
‎兩點鐘，我想請妳和小卡
‎上今天的播客

153
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,811
‎公開把事情說清楚

154
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,188
‎臭雞！

155
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,316
‎還是等你做完播客私下聊？

156
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,235
‎還是…算了

157
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,695
‎妳要跟我說的話
‎都可以在卓粉面前說

158
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:09,990
‎我現在感覺很好，但他們很嗜血

159
00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:11,492
‎安卓，我想要好好解決

160
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,995
‎但你那些粉絲的負面能量
‎我不想火上加油

161
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:18,290
‎所以還是我們給彼此一些空間

162
00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:20,584
‎等到冷靜下來了再重新交流？

163
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,046
‎噓爆妳！

164
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,883
‎賤人！

165
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,430
‎等我今晚回家，我們要好好聊聊

166
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:37,101
‎但在此之前，回房間去
‎你們兩個都是！

167
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,231
‎這要怪你！

168
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,816
‎需要控制暴怒的人不是我

169
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,818
‎需要控制耍廢的人不是我

170
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,238
‎這種亂回嘴要花妳20美元

171
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,615
‎再加上今天去學校露臉的50美元

172
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,329
‎垃圾桶果然滿了

173
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,877
‎（病患：哈維耶薩拉沙）

174
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:27,443
‎喂？

175
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,279
‎黛咪，我爸騙了我他的病情

176
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,405
‎什麼？為什麼？

177
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,782
‎我在派對上發現手寫的遺囑

178
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:37,036
‎我剛才又發現了病患手圈
‎還有化療的衛教單

179
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,788
‎我認為肉桂說的預言
‎或許是和我爸的癌症有關

180
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:43,167
‎慢點，妳在說什麼預言？

181
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,253
‎我不想大聲說出來，免得成真

182
00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:48,088
‎我懂，妳擔心說了會應驗

183
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,632
‎所以我只有寫在子彈筆記上

184
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,300
‎妳寫下來了？

185
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,764
‎我去走廊講電話

186
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,143
‎要死了，葛蘿莉亞，這樣更慘

187
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,271
‎應驗的基本邏輯就是這樣
‎不能把壞事寫下來

188
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,107
‎那樣會封定命運
‎肉桂是何時跟妳說預言的？

189
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,817
‎我回去室內尿尿的時候

190
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:11,945
‎她叫住我，跟我說了我不想講出來
‎但有寫下來的事

191
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,157
‎妳有把子彈筆記
‎和寫下來的預言給人看嗎？

192
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,408
‎-沒有
‎-千萬不要

193
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,788
‎黛咪，或許這一切
‎都和盒子裡的詛咒有關

194
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,039
‎我們需要找到瑪麗魯娜

195
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,166
‎我們不能期待她又跑來我家

196
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,834
‎我們得要去找她

197
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:26,835
‎-怎麼找？
‎-不知道

198
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,338
‎黛咪，幫個忙

199
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,423
‎在學校幫我盯著依內絲

200
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,886
‎-交給我
‎-謝謝妳

201
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,603
‎-妳怎麼不在教室？
‎-那妳怎麼不在？

202
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,188
‎是我在問問題

203
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,526
‎我注定要跳脫衣鋼管舞
‎唸書要幹嘛？

204
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:51,985
‎得了吧

205
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,489
‎妳胸前不夠偉大
‎老實說也沒有那種節奏感

206
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,866
‎在主舞台跳舞是很複雜的

207
00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:01,578
‎太好了，那我猜我注定
‎連脫衣鋼管舞都跳不好了

208
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,248
‎怎麼了？

209
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,792
‎妳平常討人厭的自戀跑哪去了？

210
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,461
‎我惹人嫌的頻寬滿了

211
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:11,296
‎妳又不是一直都那樣

212
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:16,009
‎好吧，多數時候是那樣
‎但妳有自知之明是加分

213
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,053
‎我已經好過多了

214
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:22,141
‎葛蘿莉亞被退學的事
‎妳需要快點看開罪惡感

215
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:26,019
‎妳沒有做錯什麼，和我不一樣

216
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,856
‎妳又沒有破壞人家的感情

217
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:30,733
‎完了

218
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,527
‎我真的破壞人家家庭

219
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,447
‎我得要承認，我得要去上播客

220
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,698
‎那是陷阱

221
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,283
‎那不是陷阱

222
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,453
‎-對耶，那是暗算
‎-暗算不就是陷阱嗎？

223
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:46,165
‎對，所以妳不能去
‎安卓只會設下陷阱突襲我們

224
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,542
‎我認為安卓想要和解，他是天秤座

225
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:49,960
‎不要去啦

226
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,296
‎我對這件事有很好的預感

227
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,507
‎所以妳認為自己堅持要搶別人的男人

228
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,967
‎來自於妳的父親情結嗎？

229
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,219
‎爹地，為什麼？

230
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,680
‎你幹嘛要隱瞞這些事？

231
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,725
‎嘿，妳在幹嘛？

232
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,435
‎-沒幹嘛，妳在幹嘛？
‎-沒幹嘛

233
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,398
‎爸，坐下

234
00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,442
‎聽起來有很重要的事

235
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,986
‎-不對，妳回房間
‎-不要，我要留在這兒

236
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,489
‎東尼奧，你也需要加入

237
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533
‎為什麼他可以留下來，我卻得要走？

238
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,535
‎依內絲，照妳姐姐說的做

239
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:25,204
‎我不要

240
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,414
‎妳乖，回房間

241
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,002
‎爸，坐下

242
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,672
‎怎麼被退學的是妳
‎卻是我要被訓話？

243
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,758
‎因為癌症的事你說謊

244
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:43,305
‎黛咪，以上是前20名的事情
‎妳身為一個人需要去好好加強

245
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,016
‎感覺不是很有建設性
‎其中有一個只是我的個性

246
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,977
‎別擔心，我們再來會詳細分析

247
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,938
‎有水嗎？

248
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,649
‎我像是水僮嗎？

249
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,568
‎我其實不知道，你是誰？

250
00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,738
‎這是班吉，我新的技術人員
‎兼可能的新共同主持人

251
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,697
‎下一題

252
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,616
‎妳是如何摧毀本是一輩子幸福的關係

253
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,868
‎還包括四、五個孩子或哈巴狗
‎或兩者皆是

254
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,247
‎好，我真的抱歉
‎但老實說，這真的更夠了

255
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,833
‎說真的，這裡有東西可以喝嗎？

256
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:15,128
‎-腋下冒汗表示內心愧疚
‎-我當然很愧疚，安卓

257
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,381
‎我知道我那樣做是錯的，我也很抱歉

258
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:21,885
‎你要說我有多抱歉都可以
‎但我並沒有毀掉你們的關係

259
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,137
‎-你們本來就會分手
‎-我可不這樣認為

260
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,431
‎我們都聊到退休後
‎夏天要去住箭頭湖避暑

261
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,852
‎先說到小卡肯定沒有在聽
‎因為他恨透了湖泊

262
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:33,063
‎-他認為那是自我放棄的河流
‎-不對，否則他會跟我說

263
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,983
‎或許他有跟你說過，你只是沒在聽

264
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,277
‎就像你沒聽到或看到任何跡象

265
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,946
‎他這幾個月以來都想要跟你分手

266
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,159
‎我確定妳這是在說謊

267
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,536
‎沒有，我沒說謊

268
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,247
‎還記得他送你那個爛木盒嗎？

269
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,457
‎他是想要給你最爛的禮物

270
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,750
‎好讓你跟他分手

271
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,254
‎就連盒子上的頭字縮寫都是錯的
‎但你只看到你想要看到的東西

272
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,006
‎妳沒在說謊

273
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,885
‎今天的節目到此為止

274
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,976
‎我猜妳不是我們分手的原因

275
00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:14,187
‎-我很抱歉
‎-沒關係，我需要知道

276
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,523
‎謝謝妳告訴我

277
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,822
‎-黛咪？
‎-怎麼了？

278
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:27,034
‎妳依然是破壞人家家庭的臭雞
‎但妳不壞心

279
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,161
‎如果病情沒那麼嚴重

280
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:33,332
‎幹嘛花你沒有的五千美元去買壽險？

281
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,585
‎因為我要確保
‎我走的時候沒有後顧之憂

282
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,045
‎看吧？我說對了！

283
00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,050
‎等等，我…

284
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,512
‎我說對了嗎？爸，我說得有多對？

285
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:50,015
‎第三期了

286
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,477
‎十期的第三期嗎？

287
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,729
‎到頂是四期

288
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,066
‎那是什麼意思？

289
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,152
‎意思是我們時間很有限
‎要幫爸爸想出治療策略

290
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,320
‎不對

291
00:15:04,363 --> 00:15:07,783
‎除非用實驗性治療
‎但我的保險不給付

292
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,242
‎我也負擔不起

293
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,162
‎很抱歉我說了謊

294
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,667
‎我只是不忍心說實話

295
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:20,087
‎不對，我們肯定有什麼方法…

296
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:22,923
‎我愛妳，乖女兒

297
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,259
‎但有時候有些事就是贏不了

298
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,015
‎嘿

299
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:36,311
‎妳還好嗎？感覺怎麼樣？

300
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:41,024
‎發現爸爸癌症惡化
‎我們卻無能為力之後嗎？

301
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:45,237
‎總是有辦法的
‎我保證我們一定會找出答案

302
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:49,324
‎葛蘿莉亞，我有件事需要跟妳說

303
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,453
‎-我不知道要如何啟齒，我…
‎-我有事需要先跟妳說

304
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:59,001
‎今晚發現爸爸為了保護我們
‎隱瞞了這麼大的祕密

305
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,628
‎讓我領悟到我也在做一樣的事

306
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,630
‎我是想要保護妳

307
00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:05,924
‎我不是要騙妳或是隱瞞什麼

308
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,635
‎或像我今天那樣感覺是為妳出頭

309
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,262
‎事情沒有妳想像的那麼簡單

310
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,015
‎我也很抱歉，但現在只能說到這裡

311
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,227
‎所以妳是在跟我說
‎妳有事不能跟我說

312
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,147
‎這是為了妳好

313
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,108
‎怎樣是為了我好
‎不該由我自己決定嗎？

314
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,444
‎為什麼大家都把我當成小寶寶？

315
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,612
‎請妳相信我

316
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,322
‎我又有其他選擇嗎？

317
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,658
‎其實呢，不用回答

318
00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:33,702
‎我知道答案，我沒有選擇

319
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,412
‎等等

320
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,582
‎-妳本來要跟我說什麼？
‎-不重要

321
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,376
‎我不重要

322
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,729
‎嘿，你有空嗎？

323
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,440
‎我需要找個願意聆聽的人說話

324
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,233
‎當然，一切都好吧？

325
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,153
‎其實不好，但我不想說那個

326
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,905
‎但我要說葛蘿莉亞的事

327
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:13,200
‎還有她把我當成剛出生的小寶寶

328
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,911
‎她從來不讓我說話
‎她直接叫我回房間

329
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,955
‎我說真的，她甚至不跟我說
‎她有什麼事不跟我說

330
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,707
‎因為她在保護我

331
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,209
‎胡扯

332
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,629
‎-葛蘿莉亞甚至不喜歡我
‎-妳在開玩笑嗎？

333
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,464
‎葛蘿莉亞全心都是為了妳

334
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,175
‎今天早上，她還因為妳揍我的臉

335
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,969
‎她那樣做不是為了我

336
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,430
‎她是為了她自己

337
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,641
‎什麼？這是什麼意思？

338
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,268
‎羅斯提，你知道我在說什麼

339
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,314
‎我以為妳跟我說她不喜歡我
‎她說我很可悲

340
00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:45,649
‎我說謊

341
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,527
‎那她幹嘛打我？

342
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,154
‎因為我也騙了她

343
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,908
‎我就是大家口中說的那個很爛的人

344
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,786
‎不要那樣說，不要昭告天下

345
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,873
‎妳也只是凡人
‎和我們其他人一樣努力摸索

346
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,459
‎這不是人頭牛常說的話嗎？

347
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,630
‎對，但這是很棒的人生箴言

348
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,176
‎可以再打給妳嗎？我先掛電話

349
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,430
‎你有收到我的訊息嗎？

350
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,766
‎你不能辭職，現在不可以

351
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,602
‎我非辭不可
‎很抱歉，情況變得很複雜

352
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:26,523
‎別這樣，我需要你，那對姐妹也是

353
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,867
‎姿勢需要加強

354
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:42,080
‎統計上來說
‎拋投比頭頂投籃命中率高，自己去查

355
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,126
‎你是來這裡教我打籃球的嗎？

356
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,712
‎因為我看過你打籃球，你不會打

357
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,757
‎我聽到今天的播客了

358
00:18:56,553 --> 00:19:00,682
‎安卓，我但願事情會有不同的發展

359
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:03,852
‎我很抱歉

360
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,982
‎抱歉你背著我外遇
‎還是抱歉你假裝關心我？

361
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,317
‎我沒有假裝

362
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,652
‎如果你幾個月前就想分手
‎為什麼沒有分？

363
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,696
‎因為我對這些事很不在行

364
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:19,242
‎表達、感覺、顏色搭配

365
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,121
‎好吧，你要聽實話嗎？

366
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,874
‎-如果你有能力說實話的話
‎-安卓

367
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,295
‎我不知道要怎麼
‎像你喜歡我那樣喜歡自己

368
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,546
‎我懶得聽你自戀

369
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,048
‎不是因為這個

370
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,800
‎拜託你，這對我來說真的很困難

371
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:40,555
‎你就是很真的自己

372
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,600
‎時時刻刻，讓全世界看到

373
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,438
‎這很了不起，但也很嚇人

374
00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,817
‎因為我甚至不知道要怎麼做自己

375
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:56,029
‎所以你想要說什麼？

376
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,866
‎就是我還在摸索，而這很嚇人

377
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:02,786
‎感覺對你也毫無意義，因為…

378
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,164
‎你都已經找到答案了

379
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:12,712
‎所以我想要跟你分手嗎？對
‎但我也真的很關心你嗎？

380
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,048
‎對

381
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,970
‎這兩件事都是真的，可以並行不悖

382
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:20,887
‎同意

383
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,472
‎我懂

384
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,432
‎我收到了

385
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,813
‎我們分手後，我有時間去思考

386
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,817
‎我發現自己花了太多時間
‎去擔心你喜不喜歡我

387
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,779
‎而我從來沒有停下來想過
‎我喜歡你嗎？

388
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,533
‎答案是我不喜歡你

389
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,955
‎中了

390
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,082
‎空心得分

391
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,050
‎我去跟羅斯提說妳還在吃早飯

392
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:11,730
‎嗨

393
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,732
‎依內絲在拉屎

394
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,110
‎她再過四到六分鐘就會出來

395
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,031
‎介意我…

396
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,539
‎你沒有笑，所以我得要跟你說

397
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,916
‎我說依內絲在大便是開玩笑的

398
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,461
‎但我其實很高興妳有出來

399
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,713
‎-我有事要跟妳說
‎-等等

400
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:38,631
‎我有事要先說

401
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:40,759
‎我很抱歉我痛扁你

402
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:42,969
‎妳沒有痛扁我

403
00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,304
‎我有

404
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,515
‎但我也不抱歉

405
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,851
‎因為你吻了我，你不該那樣做

406
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,687
‎-或說我不該那樣做，因為…
‎-因為什麼？

407
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:56,149
‎因為，我們這樣說不通

408
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,444
‎妳真的那樣覺得嗎？

409
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:02,864
‎那你覺得呢？

410
00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:06,326
‎-我覺得我們可以…
‎-同意

411
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,746
‎那是個錯誤，我們不好在一起

412
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,624
‎所以基本上，我很抱歉我並不抱歉

413
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,628
‎你剛才要說什麼？

414
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:19,964
‎我很抱歉妳並不抱歉

415
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:23,218
‎我以為我們在一起會很棒

416
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:36,606
‎好了嗎？

417
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,835
‎-我不是說不能出家門嗎？
‎-我去跟羅斯提道歉…

418
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,545
‎我懶得管！

419
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:01,881
‎在我們能讓妳回去上學之前
‎不許妳出門

420
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,218
‎如果妳敢踏出家門一步
‎退學只會是小菜一碟而已

421
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:08,138
‎因為妳要去跟阿嬤一起住

422
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:10,390
‎阿嬤住在墨西哥耶

423
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,100
‎對，她也是虔誠的天主教徒

424
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,894
‎所以她可以直通天主教學校的修女

425
00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:17,480
‎苦了妳在那兒唸書
‎祈禱自己從沒違規離家

426
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:19,774
‎因為那些修女下手很重

427
00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:21,985
‎祝妳擁有愉快的一天

428
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:38,543
‎羅斯提，我說過我跟我太太
‎是怎麼認識的嗎？

429
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:39,627
‎你有太太喔？

430
00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,212
‎其實有兩個

431
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:44,632
‎人類太太和馬太太

432
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,301
‎但我說的是人類那個

433
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:49,929
‎我在康乃爾大學當客座教授
‎在人群之中看到她

434
00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,681
‎我當場約她出來

435
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:57,187
‎羅斯提和人頭牛…

436
00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:01,065
‎他是我最好的朋友

437
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,901
‎你是我…

438
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,038
‎不…

439
00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:20,126
‎我的洋芋片

440
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:13,763
‎討厭

441
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:15,890
‎抱歉了，爸

442
00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:18,870
‎字幕翻譯：姚祖恩