1
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‎（連鎖家具用品八折）

2
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‎乾杯

3
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‎葛蘿莉亞，我真希望有妳這樣的女兒

4
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‎瑪麗魯娜，我終於有了妳這樣
‎家裡就有泳池的朋友

5
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‎而且妳很懂得玩樂

6
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‎所以妳應該要舉辦派對

7
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‎或許是散播感激和餽贈的那種

8
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‎我們知道妳在本地有家人

9
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‎感恩節？他們才不會來
‎他們又不認識我

10
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‎這樣的態度不對喔，妳得要改變方式

11
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‎邀請他們，多認識他們

12
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‎自己體現快樂，永遠不嫌晚

13
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‎片名：菲利瑞吉，我的青春

14
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‎什麼叫做我們不在家裡過感恩節？

15
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‎妳需要休息一下

16
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‎-所以露希雅做了很棒的…
‎-晚餐？

17
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‎-預約
‎-在餐廳吃？

18
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‎打電話真是好棒棒，露希雅！

19
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‎那就去餐廳吃吧

20
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‎我要去躺一下

21
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‎我很遺憾，我知道妳有多愛…

22
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‎多愛感恩節

23
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‎如果有不好的消息需要讓對方知道

24
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‎但對方不想知道
‎你又不知道如何啟齒

25
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‎那該怎麼辦？

26
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‎是那個臉型的碗嗎？妳看到了嗎？

27
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‎-我真不該吃洋芋片的
‎-不是那個碗的事

28
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‎依內絲，我墜入了暗黑的碗洞

29
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‎我甚至沒辦法正眼看碗了
‎偏偏我很愛喝湯

30
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‎我昨晚還用盤子吃冰淇淋呢
‎抱歉，妳說妳有什麼問題？

31
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‎東尼奧上網雇用羅斯提引誘葛蘿莉亞

32
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‎依內絲！搞鬼啊？
‎妳怎麼沒有更早就跟我說？

33
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‎-或是跟她說？
‎-她好幾週都不理我了

34
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‎我也以為她和羅斯提撐不久
‎但他們還在一起

35
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‎-加上聖誕節就快到了
‎-他會把她當成火雞塞

36
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‎沒錯

37
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‎然後把她的馬鈴薯磨成泥

38
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‎或是加進他的蔓越莓做成醬
‎我需要跟她説實話

39
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‎所以我要怎麼跟她説？

40
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‎-匿名電郵，學妳的老方法？
‎-我不知道妳在說什麼

41
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‎妳知道，那個薯泥迷開頭的電郵

42
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‎可惡

43
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‎不能用電郵跟她說
‎她跟妓男搞在一起

44
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‎那是基本的朋友知識

45
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‎儘管我們沒有看不起性工作
‎因為那真的是一種工作

46
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‎但若葛蘿莉亞不知道那是性工作
‎就會有合意的問題

47
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‎我們需要直接跟她說

48
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‎慢著，羅斯提是假裝的？
‎聽來全都很可疑

49
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‎我需要證據

50
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‎“徵求兼職

51
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‎和我姪女打情罵俏

52
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‎轉移爸爸得癌症的事

53
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‎-輕度家務，時薪18美元”
‎-所以他是看廣告來的？

54
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‎我現在真的要給他打分數了

55
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‎嘿咻又要打掃
‎時薪少說要25美元才合理

56
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‎他們沒有在嘿咻啦

57
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‎羅斯提昨天走路怪怪的

58
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‎走路怪表示皮膚摩擦發炎
‎所以他們還在二壘

59
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‎-穿衣服磨蹭
‎-我很感激你知識這麼豐富

60
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‎我知道葛蘿莉亞一定也會很感激

61
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‎聽你跟她説這則廣告的知識

62
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‎不對，門都沒有

63
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‎我有次傻了幫妳傳話，結果被打臉

64
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‎-我們都被打過臉，小卡
‎-那你站她背後說就好

65
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,502
‎她也會後踢啊

66
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‎對，小卡的小腿很弱
‎也很討厭正面衝突

67
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‎沒錯，我表弟以為我叫凱文
‎我從沒糾正過他

68
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‎其實應該交給黛咪
‎她身高距離地面最短

69
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,221
‎最容易躲掉拳頭

70
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,890
‎或我們可以把那則廣告留在電腦螢幕

71
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,809
‎讓小蘿自己看到
‎這樣就沒有人會被揍

72
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:34,150
‎除了胸部的螢幕截圖之外
‎我這是要看什麼？

73
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:36,402
‎有一則很扯的徵才廣告…

74
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,988
‎不在這上頭

75
00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:42,408
‎羅斯提打來了，我先走

76
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,119
‎等你們找到那則瘋狂廣告
‎我再幫忙校稿

77
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‎嘿，你那則性工作者的廣告呢？

78
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‎哪一則？

79
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‎羅斯提那則啊，我刪了

80
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:55,921
‎15分鐘之前還在耶

81
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:59,258
‎對，你們離開去找葛蘿莉亞
‎我在螢幕上看到

82
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,761
‎突然想到要是被她看到，我會被揍

83
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,766
‎沒了證據，她現在絕對不會相信我了

84
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,267
‎我有看到，我是證人

85
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,102
‎誰準備好要被揍了？

86
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,147
‎這件事加上不在家裡過感恩節…

87
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,025
‎慢著，不過感恩節？
‎那我怎麼辦？我媽要工作

88
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,444
‎-你可以跟我們一起到餐廳吃
‎-或是加入我

89
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:21,739
‎我也要去餐廳跟他們一起吃
‎我不想吃我姐難吃的素食

90
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,532
‎我忘了帶外套

91
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,828
‎你們在密謀什麼？

92
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,998
‎感恩節，沒人喜歡現有的計畫

93
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:34,502
‎那我們都去瑪麗魯娜家
‎她要舉辦暌違30年的晚餐派對

94
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,629
‎-妳確定我們去沒關係嗎？
‎-百分之百

95
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:37,797
‎太刺激了

96
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:43,302
‎即將應驗這會是我人生中
‎最棒的一次感恩節

97
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,846
‎等她聽到羅斯提的事為止

98
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,641
‎對，但肯定要趁感恩節跟她説

99
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:51,602
‎到時她忙著弄火雞
‎揮拳不會那樣有力

100
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,270
‎有道理，帥喔

101
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,405
‎妳接吻都是張開眼睛嗎？

102
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,951
‎不是，我只是在看你是不是很享受

103
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:10,371
‎我都在親妳了，當然享受

104
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,248
‎那個…接吻可以騙人

105
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:17,586
‎我也在找尋跡象
‎看你的感覺是不是有變化

106
00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,922
‎因為你的感覺很善變，對嗎？

107
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,050
‎對，妳沒說錯，但我正在改進

108
00:06:23,134 --> 00:06:25,970
‎我在聽講述感情的播客，也在看書

109
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,513
‎你在看書？

110
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,514
‎不好了

111
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:32,101
‎是啊，我知道，我從來沒想過
‎我們在一起會跳過好玩的部分

112
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,103
‎直接進入“看書改善關係”的部分

113
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,479
‎從何時開始變得那麼難？

114
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,565
‎其實一直都很難

115
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,358
‎以前困難的是硬不起來

116
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,945
‎現在是我的腦袋和心理
‎說不上來，真的很難，因為…

117
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,822
‎我們少了轟轟烈烈的激情

118
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,282
‎-偷偷摸摸
‎-互相欺騙…

119
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,869
‎本來是納悶我們會不會在一起
‎現在覺得一定會，也在一起了

120
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,580
‎而且很無趣，另外我看書的心得是

121
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:55,499
‎交往對象需要把我視為理所當然
‎這樣我才能從中學習

122
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,335
‎而我不想把妳視為理所當然

123
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,382
‎我猜我們注定只能當朋友

124
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:09,597
‎卡麥隆，這就是你的預言實現了
‎原來是在講我們！

125
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,056
‎是嗎？

126
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,603
‎“不管你怎麼選擇
‎一定會是錯誤的選擇”

127
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,188
‎就是妳，黛咪！

128
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:21,859
‎“但終究你得要選擇不去選擇”
‎也就是沒對象

129
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,488
‎“而那將會是不二的選擇”

130
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,073
‎就是我現在這樣，單身

131
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,867
‎天啊，好準喔

132
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:33,078
‎我需要找到那個抖音女巫
‎搞清楚春季音樂劇的事

133
00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:36,957
‎又或許我不想知道
‎我會不會扮演阿龍伯爾…才怪

134
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:37,875
‎安卓我的天！

135
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,253
‎班吉邀我去感恩節晚餐
‎和他爸媽見面

136
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,631
‎-這是壞事嗎？
‎-是啊！

137
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,466
‎分手本來就已經很困難了

138
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,594
‎但要是他爸媽看到我
‎穿了這身很搭又不搭的指標行頭

139
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,970
‎一定會愛死這套打扮和我

140
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:52,932
‎這也會讓我們的分手變得更複雜
‎因為我不想傷害他的父母

141
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,475
‎你為什麼要跟班吉分手？

142
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,769
‎因為他是第五期黏人精
‎就愛跟我在一起

143
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,437
‎說話甜滋滋，真是惡夢一場

144
00:07:59,021 --> 00:07:59,855
‎聽來很耳熟

145
00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:00,814
‎是啊…

146
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,193
‎安卓我的天，他是我，我是你？

147
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,194
‎我有這麼黏人喔？

148
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,244
‎哇塞，我想我再怎麼進化
‎聽到事實都還是會痛

149
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,745
‎我要怎麼處理他？

150
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,164
‎要怎樣和平分手才最好？

151
00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:20,417
‎我又要跟你們兩個幹嘛？

152
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,754
‎真高興終於見到妳了

153
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,090
‎馬里奧很抱歉不能來，他在紐約

154
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,300
‎茹比和朋友去加州馬林

155
00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,802
‎雙胞胎又開始吵架

156
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:34,431
‎所以我們把人留在家裡
‎對妳和對我們反而都好

157
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,142
‎對吧，路比？路比？

158
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,311
‎妳看起來跟她一樣

159
00:08:39,979 --> 00:08:42,106
‎妳的臉就是她的臉

160
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,650
‎-對
‎-府上也非常美

161
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:45,609
‎對

162
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,611
‎我們應該進去嗎？

163
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,654
‎對

164
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,531
‎太好了

165
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:59,331
‎跟過去，給他們一些起司
‎或許來個擁抱

166
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,711
‎-穩的
‎-小蘿

167
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,046
‎我們有問題了

168
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,342
‎原來是藏在這兒

169
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:12,928
‎瑪麗魯娜和我在玩自己發明的遊戲

170
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:16,265
‎她發明的叫做“保鮮盒在哪裡”
‎我猜她藏在烤箱裡

171
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,309
‎-什麼？
‎-對，我輸了

172
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,019
‎這樣我們要怎麼加熱食物？

173
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:20,936
‎我不知道

174
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:25,482
‎但我的腰果砂鍋不用加熱

175
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,902
‎-可以生吃
‎-這道嘔吐物上不了檯面

176
00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:32,031
‎今晚是瑪麗魯娜和家人第一次吃飯

177
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:35,367
‎是家人對她的第一印象
‎這是最持久的印象

178
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:38,912
‎我們不能辜負她，害她家人吃了噎到

179
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:42,541
‎因為這聞起來像是擁擠的市公車
‎也像是春宮片連拍了15小時

180
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,460
‎我懂了，妳不愛

181
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,878
‎大家都不愛

182
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,796
‎妳知道我男友是混幫派的吧

183
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,593
‎這我倒是忘了
‎好喔，砂鍋有什麼配菜呢？

184
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,055
‎因為這也是我和男友的第一個感恩節

185
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,556
‎無意冒犯，達薇娜

186
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,268
‎但他無肉不歡
‎光靠愛情是活不下去的

187
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:02,770
‎妳剛才說“愛情”嗎？

188
00:10:03,354 --> 00:10:05,397
‎對，羅斯提說他為我傾心

189
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,107
‎不妙，那妳信嗎？

190
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,152
‎我是說對他傾心嗎？

191
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,571
‎大快朵頤了，臭女生，鳥來也

192
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,450
‎烤火雞在哪裡？

193
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,578
‎在我手上，來自名店

194
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,665
‎保持正能量，我去弄馬鈴薯泥

195
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:24,416
‎我們會變出一道大餐

196
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,384
‎-嘿，寶貝
‎-你感覺怎麼樣？

197
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,219
‎還是有點反胃

198
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,096
‎你要我回家嗎？我可以回…

199
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,515
‎妳待在那兒，露希雅可以處理

200
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:44,645
‎我說了要妳好好玩
‎葛蘿莉亞也保證妳會玩得開心

201
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,356
‎所以好好玩，這是命令

202
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:49,608
‎我已經在玩了

203
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:50,943
‎照顧妳姐姐

204
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,986
‎我不知道妳們兩個是怎麼了

205
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,531
‎但妳們是一家人，這很重要

206
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,159
‎依內絲，跟我保證

207
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,413
‎我保證

208
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,625
‎我姐肯定很愛妳

209
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:09,920
‎我是她的最愛，是不是，老公？

210
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,505
‎老公！

211
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,257
‎真的太神奇了

212
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:16,635
‎妳們一模一樣，但又不同

213
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:19,346
‎很好

214
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,266
‎不是，我知道這是妳的最愛

215
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,394
‎我很高興妳玩得很開心

216
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,605
‎好，晚安，我也愛妳

217
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,108
‎-嘿
‎-你阿嬤怎麼樣？

218
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,318
‎很好啊，還沒跟我媽吵架

219
00:11:34,153 --> 00:11:37,614
‎她們一起相處很棒
‎但我已經在想我阿嬤了

220
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,577
‎明年我要霸佔她
‎我們可以一起做晚餐給她吃

221
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,494
‎我們？

222
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,414
‎妳和我

223
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:55,382
‎大家動起來，做事需要有系統

224
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:57,301
‎這是科學，還有數學

225
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,178
‎科學、數學和一點藝術

226
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,513
‎-奶油好了嗎？
‎-你是故意要搞破壞嗎？

227
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,099
‎奶油要冷藏到最後一刻
‎確保完美融化

228
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,768
‎-對
‎-馬鈴薯正在泡涼

229
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:11,231
‎妳說這樣夠軟嗎？
‎快點動作，要失溫了

230
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,025
‎快把馬鈴薯放回爐子加熱

231
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,693
‎還剩下30秒可以救

232
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:17,029
‎大家動作快，要像是有做過

233
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,197
‎但我沒做過啊！

234
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,949
‎我去拿海苔，妳冷靜一點

235
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,993
‎我也是，我的焦慮快爆表了

236
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,579
‎好啊！去啊！我看到你就噁心！

237
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:36,757
‎我快要瘋掉了

238
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,927
‎一切都好嗎？還是天堂出問題了？

239
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,304
‎我和小卡嗎？沒啦，我們很好

240
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,597
‎好得很，我們分手了

241
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,724
‎什麼？聽妳說得好淡定

242
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,392
‎這很怪，因為妳不是淡定姐

243
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:51,980
‎沒錯，但我淡定是因為有信念
‎還有個祕密

244
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,190
‎可以跟你說嗎？

245
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:58,195
‎我三歲時
‎跟我一樣有陰陽眼的阿嬤

246
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,030
‎臨終前跟我說了一件事

247
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,866
‎妳也發現妳阿公是妳爸爸嗎？

248
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,452
‎當我沒說，我爸媽的年紀正常
‎繼續

249
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:08,664
‎我阿嬤告訴我，我會談很多次戀愛

250
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,582
‎直到我找到我的真命天屌

251
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:13,502
‎妳才三歲
‎妳阿嬤就跟妳說真命天屌喔？

252
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,754
‎那個…她都快死了，而且嗑得很茫

253
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,591
‎但她說那個人會眨眼，怪怪的眨眼

254
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,260
‎太蠢了，誰不會眨眼啊？

255
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,469
‎我的真命天屌

256
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,138
‎黛咪，可以借用妳一下嗎？

257
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,603
‎我們得要跟葛蘿莉亞說羅斯提的事

258
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,146
‎我們得要讓她脫離這段假關係

259
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,523
‎以免她動了真感情

260
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,316
‎太晚了，她已經陷得很深

261
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,527
‎所以我們應該讓他們自然發展

262
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,613
‎跟她說也沒有用
‎還會被她恨，或是被她揍

263
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,866
‎那又怎樣？她已經又恨又揍我們了

264
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,659
‎-我做不到
‎-我不要跟她說

265
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,035
‎說什麼？

266
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,373
‎你們也認為瑪麗魯娜殺了她先生嗎？

267
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:55,210
‎慢著，妳覺得她殺了她先生
‎那妳還邀請我們到她家？

268
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,962
‎東尼奧付錢請羅斯提跟妳交往！

269
00:13:58,672 --> 00:13:59,506
‎什麼？

270
00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:01,967
‎是真的，小蘿

271
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,553
‎他上網登廣告，我們都看到了

272
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,889
‎我想這是東尼奧用自己的方法幫忙

273
00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,348
‎你們有看到東尼奧打字嗎？

274
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:11,977
‎-沒有
‎-有在網站上看到嗎？

275
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:14,605
‎沒有

276
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:18,984
‎-我們是在東尼奧的筆電看到的
‎-這可能是我妹一手策劃

277
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,778
‎但我猜相信這個瘋狂的謊言比較簡單

278
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,989
‎勝過相信有人真的愛我

279
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:27,326
‎這不是愛，這是拿錢辦事

280
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,285
‎閉嘴，依內絲！

281
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,580
‎我知道妳聽了很難接受，但這是事實

282
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,206
‎妳又懂什麼事實了？

283
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:38,295
‎我知道我說羅斯提有女友不是事實

284
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,504
‎但我不是只會說謊

285
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,299
‎沒錯，妳可以誠實

286
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,346
‎我看到妳在我的子彈筆記寫的東西
‎也確實是那樣

287
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,389
‎妳是詛咒

288
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,308
‎妳就是媽媽死掉的原因

289
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:54,311
‎媽媽是得癌症耶

290
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:58,273
‎她懷妳的時候，癌症突然冒出來

291
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:33,308
‎-廚房裡還有馬鈴薯嗎？
‎-本來有，但是不見了

292
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,143
‎是達薇娜

293
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:37,521
‎她喝醉時就會忘記自己吃素

294
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:41,191
‎妳這個假吃素的賤人
‎我在馬鈴薯裡有加鮮奶油

295
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,567
‎什麼？

296
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,948
‎大家好啊，派對咖

297
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,416
‎別擔心，機器人會處理

298
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:58,834
‎機器人

299
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:00,877
‎在人生中

300
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:06,258
‎活到我這把年紀
‎會有很多時間去反省

301
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,927
‎也少不了胃灼熱

302
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,181
‎而胃灼熱不只是因為消化不良

303
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:15,517
‎也是因為悔恨

304
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,604
‎悔恨自己過的人生，和沒過的人生

305
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,774
‎敬我姐的家人

306
00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:24,317
‎妳的家人

307
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,153
‎敬我的家人

308
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:32,325
‎我保證不去後悔自己剩下的時光

309
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:39,166
‎還有我們要去玩拖曳圈

310
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:42,711
‎看季節而定，滑下山或是溯溪

311
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:46,089
‎在假日的時候穿搭配的行頭

312
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,261
‎還要一起養叫做“汪”克華伯格的狗

313
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,138
‎或是“汪”基“汪”克

314
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,183
‎我沒養過狗

315
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,602
‎所以我需要分享

316
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,523
‎還有，葛蘿莉亞

317
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:09,696
‎謝謝妳提醒了我，有時候要樂觀以對

318
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:12,407
‎而讓人發毛的生日派對房
‎不要也罷

319
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,749
‎什麼？

320
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,336
‎抱歉

321
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,756
‎我說完了，請舉杯

322
00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:30,258
‎感恩節快樂

323
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,511
‎感恩節快樂！

324
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,016
‎我也想說幾句話

325
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:47,192
‎我因為工作而加入了這個圈子

326
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:51,029
‎但這遠不只是工作而已

327
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,156
‎這是一個大家庭

328
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,119
‎我無法告訴大家我有多感激
‎而這又有多麼無價…

329
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,913
‎無價！這個詞選得太有意思了

330
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,168
‎抱歉打斷你
‎但現場有些愛八卦的阿呆

331
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,461
‎想要知道

332
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:10,090
‎是我叔叔花錢請你來跟我打情罵俏
‎讓我分心的嗎？

333
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,096
‎我知道這很蠢，你照實說就好

334
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,934
‎-我很抱歉
‎-看吧，依內絲？他很抱歉

335
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,688
‎抱歉？你抱歉什麼？

336
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:29,276
‎我發誓我一發現我有多喜歡妳

337
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,527
‎我就沒再拿錢了

338
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,112
‎-一發現…
‎-所以是真的？

339
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,198
‎我快吐了

340
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,993
‎嘿，葛蘿莉亞
‎跟我來，我們把話說清楚

341
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,744
‎說什麼？

342
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,789
‎說你為了錢玩弄我嗎？

343
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:46,960
‎其實有道理

344
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:51,506
‎連你自己的媽媽都沒有愛過你
‎你又怎麼知道愛是什麼？

345
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,193
‎有誰要再來一盤嗎？

346
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:22,871
‎我錯了

347
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:25,707
‎沒有人能夠把生活
‎體現成不一樣的真實

348
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,043
‎壞事就是會發生在好人身上

349
00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:30,253
‎羅斯提不是真的

350
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,465
‎而我爸快死了，我才是阿呆

351
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,343
‎我真的好笨喔

352
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:39,304
‎我一出生就是一手爛棋
‎我也會一直這樣到死掉

353
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,639
‎閉嘴！

354
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:41,556
‎我是認真的

355
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,682
‎不對，我才是認真的

356
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,768
‎閉嘴

357
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:48,480
‎妳畫的鸚鵡像是長了翅膀的老二

358
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,315
‎但羅斯提還是讓妳贏

359
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:53,610
‎如果這不是愛情
‎我不知道什麼才是了

360
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,153
‎小蘿啊

361
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:59,407
‎妳欠妳自己一個喘息空間…

362
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:00,742
‎少在那邊耍賤！

363
00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:04,913
‎我知道你是演員，但你不要再裝了

364
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,374
‎-沒有人會信
‎-這不是在裝

365
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,710
‎老兄，結束了，她永遠不會原諒你

366
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,630
‎我接下了工作
‎但我一發現不對勁，我努力做到好

367
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,757
‎和妳不一樣，妳從來不把事情做好

368
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,801
‎亂說，我都跟你坦承了

369
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,094
‎我跟你說我說了謊

370
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,971
‎對，但妳沒跟葛蘿莉亞說

371
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,726
‎我不知道要怎麼說

372
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:31,606
‎我也不知道

373
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,991
‎我還在餓，拜我自私的姐姐所賜

374
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,285
‎我才沒有吃掉妳的死馬鈴薯！

375
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:44,202
‎那是誰吃的？

376
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,496
‎我才懶得管，我要叫小丑來接我

377
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,749
‎看吧？內疚偷吃澱粉的臭雞！

378
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:53,128
‎說不上來耶，我做了很多
‎她吃得下快五公斤的馬鈴薯嗎？

379
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:56,756
‎你喝醉了嗎？

380
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:57,966
‎沒有

381
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,801
‎眨眨眼

382
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,554
‎-幹嘛？
‎-沒事

383
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,557
‎小卡是我的真命天屌

384
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:08,768
‎-幹嘛？
‎-幹嘛？

385
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,521
‎艾米利歐舅舅吃了馬鈴薯！

386
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,522
‎誰？

387
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,940
‎有臉的碗啊！

388
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,112
‎是怎樣？

389
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,655
‎好，大家不許喝酒了

390
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:25,368
‎問題是我自己造成的
‎我需要改變自己才能解決

391
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,286
‎沒錯

392
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,247
‎因為羅斯提沒有拿錢，又直接承認

393
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:31,750
‎其實也證明了他有多在乎

394
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,460
‎加上老二鸚鵡的事

395
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,420
‎他選了老二鸚鵡

396
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:39,507
‎我不能再這樣愛給人打分數
‎控制欲太強又容易受傷

397
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:43,219
‎我不能讓他覺得無望
‎我需要請求他的原諒

398
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,220
‎賓果

399
00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:51,728
‎不客氣

400
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,272
‎我得要去道歉了

401
00:21:54,356 --> 00:21:57,192
‎去吧！去挽回妳的男人
‎然後把妳的朋友一起找來

402
00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:59,736
‎我有個驚喜要給妳，需要有觀眾在場

403
00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:05,658
‎真不知道承認自己的錯誤
‎為什麼這麼難

404
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,870
‎或許我擔心我就是自己的錯誤

405
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,791
‎不是，妳只是凡人

406
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,502
‎我們都會敗給嫉妒

407
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,463
‎我才沒有嫉妒

408
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:21,716
‎你少在那邊自命清高

409
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,844
‎我可沒有自願接下
‎用欺騙做偽裝的工作

410
00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:28,681
‎沒錯，妳只是因為自己得不到
‎就要破壞姐姐談戀愛

411
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:29,891
‎你以為我還喜歡你嗎？

412
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:33,269
‎不然妳幹嘛在這裡跟我說話
‎卻不去找妳姐？

413
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:34,854
‎你真的很欠揍

414
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:36,815
‎聽我說，妳得要看開

415
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,776
‎不然或許發洩出來就沒事了

416
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,820
‎那就親我吧

417
00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,279
‎親吧

418
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:44,489
‎我才不想親你

419
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:47,742
‎好啊，那就不要親，看開就是了

420
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,871
‎看吧？沒感覺

421
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:53,248
‎完全沒火花

422
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:03,258
‎羅斯提？

423
00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:10,390
‎我知道，我知道我很混蛋

424
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:11,975
‎妳不用再說了

425
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,476
‎請別說了

426
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,938
‎但我對你們兩個說了最傷人的話

427
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:20,108
‎我真的很抱歉，請你們原諒我

428
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:29,033
‎走吧，瑪麗魯娜有個驚喜

429
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,664
‎拜託一下

430
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,086
‎-我們可以幫忙嗎？
‎-不行，那樣就毀了驚喜

431
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:42,380
‎她殺了先生之前八成也是這樣說

432
00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:45,008
‎（瑪麗魯娜大清倉
‎葛蘿莉亞薩拉沙）

433
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:46,301
‎恭喜

434
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:47,719
‎那是什麼？

435
00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:49,137
‎支票啊，阿呆

436
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:50,930
‎但為何？是幹嘛的？

437
00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,515
‎要讓你們知道好人

438
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:54,309
‎不是只會碰上壞事情

439
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,768
‎也會碰上好事情

440
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:58,480
‎再加上我是愛玩遊戲的富婆娘

441
00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:00,982
‎天啊，是那種隱藏式攝影機節目嗎？

442
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,693
‎沒有攝影機
‎但是有改變一生的意外之財

443
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:04,694
‎什麼意思？

444
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:06,029
‎是錢！多少錢？

445
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:08,281
‎這要由你們大家決定

446
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:11,701
‎我可以現在
‎就開一張一百萬美元的支票

447
00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:13,870
‎沒有附帶條件，直接送，或是…

448
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:14,996
‎好啊！

449
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:19,000
‎或是你們可以選擇
‎在三個月內花光那一百萬美元

450
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,793
‎但要是一場空

451
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:22,212
‎然後贏得十

452
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:23,588
‎十美元？

453
00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:24,714
‎一百萬乘以十

454
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:27,550
‎-這是說笑吧
‎-不是

455
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,594
‎慢著，“一場空”是什麼意思？

456
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,971
‎你們不能買可以留下的東西

457
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:36,184
‎你們只管花錢，但也不能浪擲

458
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,228
‎-說不通啊
‎-說得通

459
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:40,021
‎如果選這個就一定說得通

460
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,856
‎花錢卻是一場空會有多難呢？

461
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,900
‎這就是我的人生故事

462
00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:46,152
‎你們將得要看到才會知道

463
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:49,697
‎但如果你們失敗了，就啥都沒有
‎所以要明智選擇

464
00:24:52,283 --> 00:24:53,117
‎我們要回家了

465
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:54,786
‎我送你們出去

466
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:00,917
‎葛蘿莉亞

467
00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:06,422
‎我不在的時候，做出決定
‎等我回來開支票

468
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:09,926
‎奉送一張你們能兌現的小額支票

469
00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:12,554
‎什麼？

470
00:25:12,637 --> 00:25:14,222
‎好多錢喔

471
00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:29,612
‎見鬼了，需要多少錢才能住這兒啊？

472
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,281
‎不知道

473
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,701
‎但溜冰世界那一筆會是個好開始

474
00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:36,035
‎你還相信那個鬼東西啊？

475
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,954
‎我聽到達薇娜妹妹說的話

476
00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:41,124
‎她說賈馬爾那小子
‎和馬丁內斯家的奶奶

477
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:42,667
‎找到了溜冰世界的錢

478
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:45,295
‎都被他們找到了，肯定真有其事

479
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:48,339
‎就算錢在那個老太太手上
‎她人都死了

480
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:49,924
‎那錢呢？

481
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,718
‎那是桑托幫的錢

482
00:25:51,801 --> 00:25:55,096
‎對，都40年前的事了
‎那筆錢早沒了，老鄉

483
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,732
‎太好玩了

484
00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:09,402
‎你知道什麼是因果的巧合嗎？

485
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:10,862
‎根本沒那種東西

486
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:13,573
‎你看

487
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:18,453
‎那個死掉的女人和家人走在一起

488
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,247
‎那個婆娘假死

489
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:23,249
‎私吞我們的錢

490
00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,633
‎我忘記氣球了！

491
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:35,053
‎各位，這太扯了
‎這有可能改變我的人生、我們的人生

492
00:26:35,136 --> 00:26:36,220
‎一百萬美元耶

493
00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:38,389
‎-或是一千萬
‎-那能夠改變一切

494
00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,391
‎是真的改變，不只是暫時而已

495
00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,018
‎我應該怎麼做？

496
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,020
‎“富貴險中求”，肉桂是這樣說的

497
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,938
‎她說對了其他所有預言

498
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:47,357
‎不對，並沒有

499
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,235
‎她說有人會死，但沒有人死掉

500
00:26:57,867 --> 00:27:00,161
‎走開，這是私人地產

501
00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,205
‎妳有我們的東西

502
00:27:05,208 --> 00:27:06,751
‎我知道妳聽到的預言不只那樣

503
00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:08,628
‎妳有事沒跟我說，對嗎？

504
00:27:08,711 --> 00:27:12,173
‎對，肉桂說
‎一個姐妹將會拖垮另一個姐妹

505
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,509
‎你們把我認錯成我姐姐了

506
00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:18,638
‎我叫做瑪麗魯娜，不叫瑪麗索
‎我沒有你們的錢

507
00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:21,557
‎休想騙人，女士！把錢拿來

508
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:28,356
‎我不敢相信會是這樣
‎我一輩子都以為只會有壞事

509
00:27:28,439 --> 00:27:31,109
‎而發生了壞事是我的錯

510
00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:34,195
‎是我讓壞事應驗，我是自己的詛咒

511
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,198
‎但願我能有多一點的信念

512
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:39,951
‎就能看到總是有好事圍繞在我身邊

513
00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:45,248
‎嘿，老太太

514
00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:49,752
‎勸妳不要這樣

515
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,546
‎我始終賭在自己身上

516
00:27:51,629 --> 00:27:54,882
‎因為賭在自己身上總是最安全

517
00:27:54,966 --> 00:27:56,050
‎但是到此為止

518
00:27:56,676 --> 00:27:59,721
‎今天我不要賭在自己身上

519
00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:02,265
‎而是改成賭在我們大家身上

520
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:04,434
‎我們本來以為那個盒子是詛咒

521
00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:06,936
‎但其實是福氣

522
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:11,107
‎是盒子把我們大家帶到此時此地
‎現在就是我們的時刻！

523
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:13,067
‎去他的好賺的錢

524
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:14,610
‎我們玩大的！

525
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:17,780
‎我們要花光一百萬美元
‎贏得一千萬美元

526
00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:20,283
‎我們可以改善自己的生活

527
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:23,745
‎我們終於能夠當之無愧
‎還能救我爸爸一命！

528
00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,538
‎我們沒有被詛咒

529
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:42,615
‎字幕翻譯：姚祖恩