Dear Diary, it's other-house day.
It's kind of okay going back and forth.
And it's so nice to be with Dad. Right there with him.
I'm happy most of the time, but then the divorce sadness comes.
Like waves on a shore.
The size of the sad comes in different sizes and at different times.
Mostly when I'm leaving Dad's house
and feeling so happy he's come home from Paris.
But then realizing, he's never really ever coming home home.
I still have dreams of me, Mom and Dad
living here together in our family house.
[sighs]
I, Amber Brown, wonder,
does wishing, hoping,
and dreaming of being together again eventually go away?
- [Amber] Ever watch this show, Dad? - [Phil sighs]
No, what's it about?
It's a show where people get a makeover.
Is that right?
Uh-huh. See, this lady, she's 60 but wants to look 40.
Jealous of her 30-year-old daughter,
who just had a makeover to make her look like she's 20.
- Sounds like one of your math problems. - Yeah. [clears throat]
A mother, Kathleen, who is 60 but looks 40, has two daughters.
Julie, 30. Sheila, 25.
Who both want to look 20.
How many years' difference does that leave between the daughters' combined real age
and the mother's makeover-look age?
None, because they all need to learn how to act their age.
- [laughs] - Or at least their makeover-look age.
Whoa. Bringing it home, wrapped in a nice little comedy bow.
- Way to go, Ber! - [giggles]
I just don't understand. I'm 11 and can't wait to be 12.
So why would I want a makeover to look like I'm five?
Everybody wants to feel young.
You'll always be just about five years old to me.
You should grab your book, um, grab some pen, paper…
- Erasers. Lots of erasers. - [laughs] Yeah.
Your new tutor will be here any minute. [sighs]
New?
Yeah, Mr. Chelios got switched to the northwest side,
so new tutor today.
Should have told you. You just bring so much sunshine into this little place.
Makes me forget things.
[giggles] Thanks, Dad.
Yeah, we should tidy up a little bit. [grunts]
Let's just put it all in… [sighs] …here.
[both laugh]
It's okay, Dad. I love being here.
Just the two of us, eating pizza and pasta.
And more pasta and more pizza.
- [laughs] - Sorry about my limited cooking skills,
but I make up for it in my housekeeping techniques.
Voilà.
[laughs] Yeah. Maybe we should take a cooking class.
- I think that's a great idea. - Really?
[Phil] Yes. Sure.
All right. When?
Uh, sometime. Maybe this summer.
Yeah. And maybe we could invite Mom too?
Um, okay. We'll see.
[knocking]
- Come in! - [door opens, closes]
[Cynnie] Hi! [chuckles] Sorry I'm a little late.
I'm-- [exhales sharply, breathes heavily]
- Cynnie? - Yes.
Phil?
[Cynnie chuckles]
["All Good" playing]
Okay, last one. Again, a fraction of--
If you have one-half pizza from tonight left in the fridge,
and at breakfast, you eat one-third of it, what fraction of the original pizza
do you have left?
None. Because I would have eaten all of it during the middle of the night.
[laughs]
[chuckling] Clever but not correct.
You can do your work here on the paper.
Can I get you a water, Cynnie?
- Anything to drink? - Yes. A water. Thanks.
So you guys know each other from high school?
No, no. Younger.
I met your dad when we both worked on a play called 12 Angry Men…
- Yes. -…at Park Ridge Middle School.
- [Cynnie] We were in… - [Phil] Eighth grade.
- [sighs] - [Amber sighs]
- What? - [sighs] The odds.
It's really good to see you, Cyn.
Same, really.
- Oh, hey, Amber. - Hey, Stanley.
- Oh! - [gasps]
Man, are you okay?
- [Amber] Oh! - Ooh! [sighs] Uh…
- Oh. - [chuckles]
Dear Diary, in that moment, I was desperate. [sighs]
I'm already sharing my mom, and I'm just getting used to Max.
I-- I can't right now. Just can't share my dad.
I-- I just got him back. [sighs]
It's the wave. I'm feeling the wave.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!
It's okay. [chuckles]
Oh, my papers. Should have laminated after grading them.
- I saved them. Um… - [Cynnie] Oh.
So do you wanna call for your ride service now?
- [laughs] - [stammers] You know, to pick you up?
You can wait outside.
Amber.
Uh, it has an auto-request for a return lift,
knowing that I'd be here for a set time.
So, that's good. [chuckles]
Can you lift up your book, Ber, please?
Oh, I'm so sorry about the water.
No worries. [sighs]
So, one week from today, same time?
- Yes. - No.
[stammers] I mean, maybe.
We'll see how I do on my next test. Right, Dad?
Sure. We'll see.
- Can I walk you out? - [softly] Oh. [chuckles]
Um, nice meeting you, Amber.
Looking forward to working with you.
You'll be confident in your math skills in no time.
[grunts] The sooner the better.
[door opens, closes]
[both chuckle]
Amber is adorable.
- Yeah, thank you. She is my heart. - [chuckles]
Do you have full custody?
Uh, no, no. My wife… Sarah and I share. You remember Sarah?
No, don't recall.
She was in our class that year. Just moved to the neighborhood.
Braces, wide-eyed, orange hair, rosy cheeks.
Always wore yellow Doc Martens.
Sweet as can be.
That's how you describe Mom? Come on, Dad.
Like she's Ronald McDonald or something.
That was the year I won Miss Teenage Illinois,
so… [chuckles] …very busy.
[both chuckle]
My talent segment was doing a long math problem
on a golden-framed blackboard.
- Wow. Well, look at you. [laughs] - Oh, yeah. [laughs]
It was unique.
[both laugh]
- Oh. [stammers] - Um, I guess I'll see you again, um…
Yeah.
You wouldn't mind giving that scrawny kid from the eighth-grade play your number?
Oh…
No, no, no. Please, say no.
- Yes. [chuckles] - [chuckles]
[groans, gasps]
[both chuckle]
It's probably just a nice thing for him to see an old friend.
I wouldn't worry about it. [sighs]
Well, I have a plan to study, study, study, push my grade up
and then I won't need a tutor anymore.
Isn't that always the plan?
Well, yeah, I guess, but now I'm serious.
I don't want her coming around. Sharing my dad is at stake.
[Brandi] Remember when you really didn't like Max?
Yes.
He was away a week on a business trip, and you said you missed him.
No, I said I could see why my mom missed him.
- Same. - Not.
Wish I could help you.
I love math, but I'm not good at explaining it.
Now, social studies or science, I'm great at teaching. I'm a mini expert.
I don't mean mini when it comes to information.
I mean mini in size, due to my youth.
I love math too. If I could marry it, I would. [chuckles]
Your marriage would have a lot of problems.
[both laughing]
Yeah, you could count on it not working out.
But it could add up to something wonderful.
And nothing could divide us.
- [laughs] Wah-wah. - [chuckles] Wah-wah.
We've reached our quota of one pun each,
and we allowed a bonus pun.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled crisis.
[sighs] Brandi, will you really help me
with my math study and homework so I can prove I don't need a tutor anymore?
Yes. Of course. That's how friends did homework in the old days.
There were no tutors.
When's your next math test?
Next week.
[sighs] So soon.
You'll be ready.
What a plus!
[all] Wah-wah.
This one's my fave,
- so had it framed for ya. - Ah.
Can't see the earrings in this one.
Pam, I love it.
Sweetie, want something to eat? How was school?
Food, no. School, good.
Hmm. It's like living with a small caveman.
- Right? - Brandi's coming over to do homework.
That's the third time this week. I am impressed.
Hey, Mrs. Brown. Hi, Aunt Pam.
- What's up? - You can just do your homework
here at the table or at the island. Put your backpack on any chair.
- Thank you. - [Sarah grunts]
Can I have something to eat?
Yeah, course. Um…
I brought blueberry scones. You want one?
- Yes, please. - You got it.
Gotta have energy for homework and dance breaks.
Maybe a few less dance breaks, we'd need a few less tutors.
- What tutor? What subject? - [Sarah] Math.
Amber just needs a little extra assistance.
- Math is useless. - It is?
- Yes. - No. Pam, really?
Well, I don't use it. I haven't since grade school.
Math must be worth something if you got a tutor for Amber.
Yeah. That's true, I guess.
I think it's a waste of money.
- Dad's money. - [Sarah] Hmm.
Can I have some milk?
Heck yeah.
It's different now. New tutor's not a he, it's a she. Cynnie?
It's so annoying. Dad's way too happy when she's around.
Mr. Brown went to school with her like a hundred years ago.
All the way back in eighth grade.
Wait. Cynnie? Cynnie Troop?
Amber said she was, like, a princess or something?
[Amber] Yeah. Cynnie. That's her.
I just don't think I need a tutor, Mom.
I gotta look her up.
Not very many princesses who become math tutors.
Oh, Cynnie. She was Miss Teenage Illinois.
That's it. Not princess, but pageant.
I was confused. They both get crowns.
Phil had the biggest crush on her.
Had?
Oh, wow. She's gorgeous.
Good for Phil.
Sounded so sincere.
Oh. [pants] Whoa. Hello. Who is that?
- Would you stop? - Really?
Nope. Sorry. That was a knee-jerk reaction. Or just jerk.
[chuckles]
- [Aunt Pam] Hmm. - [chuckles]
Hey, can I-- can I still use your kitchen?
I have to shoot a quick ID clip for the Health Food Network.
Yeah, course.
- Thanks. - Are you being considered?
Sound so shocked.
It's okay. I know I'm a long shot.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that. But, like, really?
Pam. You-- [sighs]
Yeah, really.
[gasps] Wo-- That's cool.
Very cool.
- Thank you. - [Amber chuckles]
Now on to more important things.
- Who is that? - Would you stop?
- No. - This is private.
Princess pageant lady.
Interesting.
["Mama Said" playing]
You're almost done.
Don't hesitate to ask me any questions. That's the beauty of a mock test.
No, I'm good.
Mmm.
Did you do that one wall that muted color?
I did.
I love it.
Yeah, thanks. Um, it's been an adjustment.
[creaking]
[glass shattering]
Do you ever hear from Mr. Higgleman?
- What a great guy. - [Cynnie] The best.
- [stammering] We should, uh… - Dad?
Yes?
Um, will you be driving me back to Mom's or…
Your mom's gonna pick you up at 8:30.
We'll be done in ten.
I'm sure you're exhausted, Amber. But you're doing great work.
Let's just see how I do on the test tomorrow.
[chuckles]
Well, my friends loved meeting you the other night.
[Phil] Yeah. Thanks for the invite. It was nice to take a break from work.
[Cynnie] They got a kick out of your "menu of a single dad" pizza and pasta stories.
If you ever want to take a cooking class…
Yeah, thank you. Um, Amber and I have plans to do one, so, uh…
Can always do two.
[exhales sharply]
[engines running]
- Hi. - [chuckles]
[laughs]
[chuckles]
[no audible dialogue]
Just don't look. [chuckles]
Dad's gonna go out with her. Like, date her.
Oh, I don't know.
[sighs] If he does, and they're a couple,
will he love her as much as he loved you?
Loved? [stammers]
Yeah.
I think your daddy and I still love each other.
[exhales sharply] You do?
Yeah. Yeah, of course. I mean, I-- I believe so.
You know, it's-- it's still love. It's just changed its shape. [chuckles]
[sighs]
If he starts to love her, will he love me less?
[sighs] No, honey. No.
Listen to me.
Your daddy will never, ever love anyone the same or as much as he loves you.
Just not gonna happen. Okay?
[sniffs, sobs] Mom, I'm sad. Very sad.
[sighs, breathes shakily]
[smacks lips] Yeah.
[sniffles, sighs]
- [crying] - It is sad, 'cause our family is different
and… [inhales sharply] …and I'm so sorry for that.
- [crying continues] - I'm sad too.
Dad's sad too.
I know.
[sighs]
[inhales sharply]
It's just-- It's gonna take some time.
You know, baby, sometimes in life, we are sad. [chuckles]
But we just gotta remember that,
you know, just like how happy times won't last forever,
neither will sad times.
[sighs]
Comes in waves.
Yeah. Yeah, honey. It comes in waves.
[sniffs, sighs]
[sighs, inhales deeply]
[door closes]
I got news.
Okay. [sighs]
Hi. Wait. Wait, are you two okay?
How'd the math test go?
It's tomorrow.
Okay. That's important.
I know you're gonna crush it, and then we'll celebrate.
We'll be celebrating two things.
You getting a great math score and…
[sighs] …this.
We made top 20 for Next Health Food Network Star!
- [chuckles] - [shouting] What?
- Yeah. - Max!
[chuckles]
I feel like we have a good shot at this.
That's very nice for you to say "we." But this is you, Max. This is all you.
No, it's us. It's for us.
It's pretty cool.
Like a movie in our house.
- Mm-hmm. - Wait till I tell Brandi.
Tell her you both can be in it.
What? Oh, you don't understand. This is Brandi's dream.
- I wanna do it too. - [Max gasps]
Ooh, look at you. Okay.
[Amber, Max chuckle]
Dear Diary, in the "can't believe it" department,
I, Amber Brown, have been seriously studying math.
And, on top of that,
I just said out loud that I, Amber Brown,
want to be in Max's audition pilot video.
What?
So, Angry Tree Number 3 would be perfect for, um,
"montage of testimonials from different demographics"?
Okay. Can I go tell Brandi?
- Absolutely! - Yes! [chuckling]
Brandi!
- [sighs] - [door closes]
Oh, that right there, that happy, running, excited Amber is just so… [sighs]
- It's beautiful to see, isn't it? - Mmm. [sighs] Yeah.
Especially if you had just heard her a minute ago in my car. Just…
Ugh, my heart.
- [inhales sharply] - Hmm?
- Max. Max, thank you. - Oh.
- Thank you. [groans, chuckles] - [chuckling]
- Of course. - Mmm.
So… [clears throat] …since you adore me right now…
- Mmm? - Um…
I submitted the original video from your kitchen.
- Uh-huh. - Can I tell them it's available next week?
- Next week? - Yeah.
Uh, can I get it gutted and completely updated by then?
- No. - No?
But I can get you a bowl of lemons and some flowers, and we'll just…
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do it.
- [laughing] - S-- [laughs]
- I-- Oh. - [sighs]
- Hey. Hey. - [exhales deeply]
Hollywood is coming to Park Ridge, Illinois…
- Right. -…to produce your pilot presentation.
- I am-- I am terrified. - [chuckles]
- I don't know where to even start. - It's gonna-- Okay.
["All Good" playing]