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[cicadas chirping]
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[uneasy music playing]
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[woman] I've only been obsessed
with three people my whole life.
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When we make mistakes, we learn from them.
Just like a kid, you know.
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I guess I just don't regret anything,
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but I just wish that
it would have turned out differently.
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[somber piano music playing]
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Sometimes in my head,
I... I think about certain things I did.
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They say that's considered stalking,
but still, I don't think that's stalking.
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When I will do those things,
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I will get, like... I guess, crazy.
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[laughs]
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I'm a little scared, to be honest.
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[man 1] I'd rather be considered
a murderer than a stalker,
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you know what I mean?
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[woman] I wanted the intensity
of, like, of her feeling watched.
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[man 2] Anybody could be a stalker.
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[man 3] It's all boogeyman talk.
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[man 4] I'm still that crazy. [chuckles]
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[soft rainfall]
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[door slams]
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[keys jingling]
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[somber piano music playing]
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My name is Deketrice Jackson.
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I'm here for stalking.
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It's a four-year sentence,
and I've been in here for two years.
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My addiction is women.
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I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke
cigarettes, or things like that,
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but for some reason,
it's, like, women that, you know...
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It drives me, and it's like...
I guess I just love love. [laughs]
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[children playing]
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[Deketrice] I went into one of my
foster homes about six years old.
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I got taken because
my birth mom didn't want me.
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I was bounced around
to about 12 total homes.
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I was abused a lot
in some of my foster homes,
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so, like, mistreated...
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and not loved.
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At ten years old,
I... I started liking women.
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And at ten, 11,
I started fightin' at school
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'cause I was picked on
because I liked women.
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And I went to different foster homes
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because they didn't want me,
'cause they said I was bad,
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or they didn't want me in a home
with the other children because I was gay.
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[birdsong]
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So I just felt unloved and unwanted.
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[Jackson] I was in this foster home
in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
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And we used to go to church,
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and there was this lady who was probably
about... maybe 24 at the time,
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and she was, like, really pretty,
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and I... I guess I just wanted her
to, like, mother me.
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She'd just, like, buy me gifts
for Christmas, birthday,
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and, like, she let me go over her house
every Sunday after church.
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I kept wanting her to, um... to parent me.
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Well, throughout every time I see her,
I get excited and I, like,
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used to try to call her "Mom,"
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and she would sit down and say,
"No, I'm not your mom."
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I felt rejected,
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not never really having
that stable mom... mom figure, you know?
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[introspective string music playing]
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[woman] When I first met Dee,
she was a little girl.
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She was introduced to the church,
and she was very shy.
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This is the church that Dee grew up in.
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Um, Divine Temple.
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A small church, but it has a big heart
with a lot of love.
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My name is Tunya King,
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and I knew Dee
when she attended our church.
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[Tunya] I felt like
she was longing for something.
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It's like when you go to the pound
and you see a puppy
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and they are just like,
"Pick me up. Hold me. Love me."
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Um, I got that sense
that she needed to be loved.
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So we were at my house.
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She was like, um... "You should adopt me."
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And I'm like, "No!" Like, "Girl, no!"
Laughing it off.
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Looking back, I never turned around
to see her face.
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Now, I feel like I probably
offended her, um, by saying no like that.
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I think she took it as a,
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"Why am I not good enough
for you to be my mom?"
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[birdsong]
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When Dee was younger, our relationship,
I think, was very pure and very beautiful.
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But as she got older,
it just started to change.
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When I was dating my first husband,
I would go visit him on the weekends,
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and wouldn't...
sometimes didn't make it to church.
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And so she wouldn't see me.
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She didn't want me to go.
She wanted to hang out with me.
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And I'm like,
"No, I already made plans. I'm going."
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And she... It was like she was trying
to persuade me to spending time with her.
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And I'm like, "Dee, we're not havin'
this conversation."
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"I said no. Like, that's it."
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She just kept asking, you know, like,
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"If I ask her 50 times,
she's gonna change her mind."
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She was persistent.
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Um... I would tell her,
"Dee, I'll call you back."
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And she's, like,
still trying to keep me on the phone.
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And I'm like, "Dee, I'm hanging up now."
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And then when I would hang up,
she would call right back.
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It got to the point where I had
to disassociate myself with her,
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because it was just like...
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I... I saw where we were going,
and I didn't appreciate it.
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[rainfall]
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[Deketrice] When she got married,
I was very emotionally distraught.
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It's like, I felt like I lost her.
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It brings me back to my childhood,
Like, "I'll never be enough."
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"I'll never be loved.
I'll never have that love."
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It's like, if my own mom didn't love me,
and then she didn't love me...
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[Deketrice] When I met Tiffanie, she used
to give me that attention that I craved.
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I had, uh, a picture
that she gave me of her, and I used to...
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at the time, I would, like,
kiss her picture goodnight.
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Maybe... I don't know. Maybe I just felt
safer because, I don't know, like...
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You know, being molested as... as a child,
I didn't really like men,
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but I didn't see me as being gay,
I didn't even know what gay was.
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It was just more of, "I like that sex."
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Like, you know, "Oh, she's pretty."
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I never... I just realized I never said
to a guy, like, "Oh, he's pretty."
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It was just, you know, the women part.
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[Tunya] This is Tiffanie.
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Beautiful young lady.
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This is all during the time
that Dee was in our lives.
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Tiffanie was able
to give Dee the attention
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that she wasn't getting from me anymore.
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I think we were at Tiffanie's mom's house.
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Tiffanie was like,
"I think she's in love with both of us,
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or she was in love with you
and now she's in love with me."
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And I was so like, "Whoa, hold on."
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That was totally not
the nature of our relationship.
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I didn't see signs of that.
I thought it was more,
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"You wanted me to be your mother."
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Tiffanie was younger,
and Dee gravitated toward her,
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and their relationship got weird as well.
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My niece brought it to my attention
where she changed...
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Dee changed her Facebook name.
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She named herself "Tiffanie Jackson"
and sent friend requests to both of us.
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And when I saw it there was no picture,
and I'm like, "Pfft! Delete."
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And my niece was like, "That's Dee."
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And I'm like, "Oh my goodness."
I'm like, "Wait a minute."
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"Where's the Tiffanie comin' from?"
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And she was like, "Exactly.
Like, this is getting weird to me."
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And that's when she was like,
"I think she was trying to mimic my life."
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And I'm like, "Oh my God."
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[Deketrice] When I was 18,
I had my first relationship.
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And then the second was Rachel.
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I started getting clingy
and liking her more and more,
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and it was mutual in the beginning,
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but the more I was, like,
"Don't go anywhere," or "Come back,"
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and "Are you gonna leave me?"
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the more she got
very uncomfortable with me.
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I think because I never really had a mom,
so, like, bouncing around,
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it's just like, "Love me, love me."
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And if it's like... I don't know, like,
they reject or don't want me,
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I get crazy, you know, like depressed or...
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you know, a lot of different feelings,
a lot of emotions I can't deal with.
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Maybe it was just how I picked 'em, but...
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each relationship just made me realize
that, like, I wasn't enough.
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[woman] When I first met Dee,
she introduced herself as Tiffanie.
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And I didn't find out until probably
about six, seven months after that
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exactly what her real name was.
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I didn't know it was Deketrice
until later on.
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My name's Christine.
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And Deketrice was in a relationship
with my daughter, Rachel.
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Dee was nice.
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I mean, she seemed very nice at first,
and she was polite,
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and, like, well-mannered.
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Next thing I know,
she's, like, startin' to...
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staying at the house, and...
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next thing I know, she's, like, movin' in.
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[Christine] I don't know,
I was just gettin' vibes, I guess,
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that she wasn't really, uh,
the right person for Rachel.
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Tiffanie would just get these things
in her head,
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just thinkin' that Rachel would be
doing somethin', and she's not.
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She's just at home sittin' there.
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Tiffanie wanted Rachel
to just look a certain way.
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And, um, if Rachel didn't want to do...
you know, go out or somethin' like that,
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then Tiffanie would get mad or...
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Then they would fight and argue.
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And she don't get her way,
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then she can flip, turn...
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kind of be a little mean.
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[rainfall]
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[Deketrice] With Rachel,
I was, you know, obsessed.
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00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,880
I used to, like, follow her, like,
when she would say she'd be at work,
180
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,240
and I would stalk her
by going to see if she's at work.
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And then there are days
where I'd go there and she's not at work,
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00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,240
and that's when, like,
I started having those...
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00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,840
that stalking tendencies.
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I guess it has to do with trust.
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I didn't trust her.
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Like, going through her cellphone
and things like that.
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00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,680
I guess that's when I started, like,
stalking, in a way.
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00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,080
She kept trying to leave me.
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00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,680
I'd do anything and everything
to try to get her to stay.
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00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,760
But when I get rejected...
191
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,480
It's like, I want them...
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I guess I'm vindictive sometimes,
because, like,
193
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,600
when they're hurting me,
it's like I want them to hurt.
194
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,240
You know, slappin' her around
and things when she would do things
195
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,880
that I wasn't okay with.
196
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,280
I used to call her a whore,
things like that, and, like...
197
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,840
So I guess
I was emotionally abusive as well.
198
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,160
[Christine] I came home that one evening.
199
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,440
When I pulled up to the house,
the front door was open,
200
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,600
and they were arguing,
and I'm not really for sure about what.
201
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,200
That's when I seen her really flip out.
202
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,520
Oh, she threatened to do a lot of things.
203
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,000
It scared me, you know. I don't...
204
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I... I don't wanna die.
I didn't want to die then.
205
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,760
The next day after that happened,
that's where we got the restraining...
206
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,520
Both of, uh... I did, Rachel and myself
each got a restraining order.
207
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,920
[Deketrice] During the breakup,
I kept contacting her, I kept calling her.
208
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,720
Didn't understand why she didn't want me.
The truth is, I didn't care.
209
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,400
I was supposed to stay away from her,
and I didn't.
210
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,200
I kept, like, popping up at her new house
which was with her mom.
211
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,200
I just would, like,
follow her and things like that.
212
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,840
Pop up to where she was going,
just let her know, like,
213
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,440
"Hey, I'm sorry. Be with me,"
and things like that.
214
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,960
The police said, "Don't go to the house."
Well, I went to the house anyhow.
215
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,000
[Christine] She kept breakin'
the restrainin' order,
216
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,080
you know, comin' around.
217
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,360
It's like she really didn't care
that I had one.
218
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,680
Because she wasn't supposed to be
within 1,000 feet of either one of us,
219
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,440
and she could, you know,
come over and start yellin' outside.
220
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,280
"Oh, I love you," and,
"How can you do this to me?" and...
221
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,520
I wouldn't open up the door
or even talk to her.
222
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,480
- She just kept bangin' and bangin'.
- [wind chimes tinkling]
223
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,480
She tried breakin' in through the windows,
tore out all the screens.
224
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,720
I was scared to death myself,
you know, that...
225
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,840
she was gonna come and do somethin',
you know...
226
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,200
to Rachel or whatever, and...
227
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,680
But she would be gone by the time
the officers got there, of course.
228
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,280
[woman] And how long did this go on for?
229
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,360
At least, uh... a year.
230
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,160
I guess I didn't think
about the consequences,
231
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,400
because all what mattered
was that I wanted her.
232
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,000
I think I have, like,
seven total assaults on my record.
233
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,640
And I knew I shouldn't do that,
234
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,440
but I did it because I wanted her
to feel like how I felt, hurt.
235
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,400
It breaks me down sometimes, like, well,
236
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,800
just knowing, like, the feeling of not,
like, finding that love.
237
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,280
It's just, like, every woman wants
that, you know, picket fence,
238
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,840
that ma... that, um... husband...
239
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,040
the kids, the great job.
240
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,640
Um, I just feel like, I guess, in that...
241
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,960
In my mindset, I wanted that,
just with a woman,
242
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,080
and not... not getting it is...
243
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,640
I guess it just
breaks me down emotionally,
244
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,440
where I get emotionally distraught.
245
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,440
I just felt like, "Oh my God.
I'm never gonna find love."
246
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,160
And some of my friends tell me,
you know, like,
247
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,840
"You gotta find love
through God, through Jesus."
248
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,560
[man] Several years ago,
249
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,000
Dee was walking down this alley,
very depressed.
250
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,280
We had a sign leaning up against our shed
out here that said,
251
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,440
"Bible study tonight, seven o'clock."
252
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,160
She had just been very angrily
praying to God.
253
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,000
And she said, "I want a sign." [chuckles]
254
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,320
So she looked over and saw our sign,
and she took it as a sign.
255
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,840
She came right up to the porch,
knocked on the door.
256
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:38,640
I answered, and she said, "Are you
havin' Bible study tonight at seven?"
257
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,240
And I said, "Well, we are now."
258
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,240
I'm Steve Long.
259
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,440
I was Dee's pastor for several years.
260
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,920
I think everybody is desperate for love.
261
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:05,520
I think many of us come from solid
families or solid social surroundings,
262
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,440
and we don't even realize we need love
because we're getting it all the time.
263
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,320
But this is a gal that, oh man.
264
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,320
That was a... that was a terrible...
a terrible upbringing,
265
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,360
and it... and it seemed to go
from one thing to the next.
266
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,440
[tinkling]
267
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,720
One night, she called my wife and I over
because she was...
268
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,040
she was thinkin' about committing suicide.
269
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:37,720
So we went over there and she went...
270
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,040
just this litany of things
she had gone through.
271
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:46,760
And, I mean, we were just in tears,
and... and just tryin' to love her.
272
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,400
We just try to listen and help
as much as we can, and...
273
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,000
And, uh... certainly, as a minister,
274
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,280
I'm pointing them to Jesus Christ
and the hope in Jesus Christ.
275
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,280
We never mentioned homosexuality to Dee.
276
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,920
She would always mention it to us.
277
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,520
Her sexuality, which she...
278
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,800
um... doesn't think's right.
279
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,400
She doesn't think it's right.
280
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,560
And so, we believe that...
281
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,520
that Dee's sexuality was
not in line with the Scripture,
282
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:32,880
but we believed our love for her
was totally in line with the Scripture.
283
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,960
[Deketrice] The whole two years,
I was doing really well,
284
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,520
and I was working at a day care.
285
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,240
I was just growin',
going to church faithfully,
286
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,600
when I... I started gettin' those feelings
again for different women.
287
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,800
[Deketrice] I met her
at this community center.
288
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,720
And I didn't know that I was gonna
become obsessed with her.
289
00:25:54,840 --> 00:26:00,000
I just did, like, crazy things...
like, to prove that I really loved her
290
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,560
and wanted her to give me a chance.
291
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,360
I would, like, buy her flowers.
292
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,320
And when I would pop to her house,
she wouldn't answer her door.
293
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,480
I would leave the gifts there
and come back ten minutes later.
294
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,440
I'd just drive around her neighborhood.
295
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,640
I would come back to see
if she took the gifts,
296
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,240
and the gifts would be gone.
297
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,000
So in my head I'm like, "Oh my God,"
like, you know, "She wanted them."
298
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:33,360
And I thought that if I did all that,
then she'll, like, give me a chance.
299
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,280
And there's things like that.
300
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:40,680
And then there's more, but some of it is,
like, very, um... embarrassing,
301
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,040
so I don't wanna say.
302
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:12,240
[man] This case came to light
after one year of constant harassment
303
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,680
and physical stalking of this victim.
304
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:23,600
Ms. Jackson and the victim
had only spoken a few times,
305
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,520
and it was more
of an infatuation of the victim
306
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,520
where there was no real foundation
of a relationship between the two.
307
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,360
I'm Corporal David Hatch
of the Springfield Police Department.
308
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,640
I was assigned the stalking case
involving Ms. Jackson.
309
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,880
[Hatch] The victim reported
she had received a note at her residence,
310
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,080
and that escalated
with voicemail messages,
311
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,040
Christmas gifts, Easter gifts.
312
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,680
She had dropped off flowers
with numerous notes.
313
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,720
Even when the victim had moved,
314
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,440
Ms. Jackson was able
to locate her address,
315
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,960
and the gifts continued.
316
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,040
It didn't matter what anyone said
to Ms. Jackson,
317
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,320
she was gonna continue
the path she was on
318
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,840
and continue to communicate
with the victim.
319
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,120
At one point, she had walked into a bar
320
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,520
where the victim was out with, uh...
someone she didn't even really know,
321
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,520
and was talking to her and approached her.
322
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,800
She was actually following her
wherever she was going.
323
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:06,800
[Deketrice] I followed her.
324
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:08,920
I wanted to, like...
325
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,480
It's embarrassing.
326
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,920
I guess I just wanted to show up
where she was at and be like, "Oh hey!"
327
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,240
Like I just got there.
328
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,680
And she was like, "Get away from me."
329
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,320
And when she didn't want to be with me,
I lost it.
330
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:39,120
The victim, it got into that level
where she no longer believed she was safe
331
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:43,320
leaving her home without
someone with her, uh... to protect her.
332
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:01,280
- [cicadas chirping]
- [uneasy music playing]
333
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,081
[Deketrice] It was, like, late.
Like maybe seven at night.
334
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,160
And it was dark.
And I was taking her gifts.
335
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,160
First, I rang the doorbell,
she didn't answer.
336
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,480
So then I got in my car and I was, like,
337
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,680
trying to text her,
and she wouldn't answer the phone.
338
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:27,320
And when I see a guy go in her house,
for some reason, I took out my binoculars.
339
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,280
Tried to look through her house.
It was dark.
340
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,000
I wasn't trying to be harmful or anything,
341
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,840
I guess I was just more thinking,
like, "Who is this guy?"
342
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,320
[siren wailing]
343
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:57,760
The victim had contacted 911
stating the suspect, Ms. Jackson,
344
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,640
uh, was outside of her residence,
345
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,960
and she was afraid that Ms. Jackson
was gonna break into her residence.
346
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,200
[Hatch] Ms. Jackson would not have stopped
347
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,760
harassing or stalking the victim
in this case
348
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:29,520
if law enforcement had not interjected
into... into this and investigated it.
349
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,160
When I looked at the history
of Ms. Jackson,
350
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:41,080
uh, and reports filed here
at Springfield Police Department,
351
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,240
I would say,
if there was no law enforcement,
352
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,960
there's a high probability of, uh...
of this changing from love notes,
353
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,680
to threats, to possible bodily harm.
354
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,240
[cicadas chirping]
355
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,920
[rainfall]
356
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,600
[plaintive piano music playing]
357
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,640
[Deketrice] When I got to prison,
I was in denial.
358
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:35,720
The longer I stay here, the more I realize
that I was stalking her.
359
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,080
When I go home, I am scared
that it may happen again.
360
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:57,480
I just want to...
361
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,080
not do this again.
362
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,080
Like, I don't wanna do this again.
Like, it's not fun for me,
363
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,640
you know, like, cryin' and, like,
wonderin' why someone don't want me.
364
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,840
Like, that's not fun.
365
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,200
But I feel like,
with these whole two years,
366
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,640
I wasn't taking my prison time serious.
367
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:20,560
I would flirt and, you know,
be all in women faces,
368
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,280
but I should have took this time
to actually, like...
369
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,360
like, heal in my heart
and things, you know?
370
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,360
Well, right now I'm on psych meds
for my obsession thoughts.
371
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,480
And sometimes it doesn't work,
because I get...
372
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,480
I'll start likin' women here, but...
373
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:38,960
I don't know, I guess, like...
374
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,920
So it won't happen again, I guess I will
surround myself with, like, godly people.
375
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:53,440
I think that I need to surrender to God
and repent and just...
376
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,680
I guess, just pick up my cross
and follow him.
377
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,080
I don't need love. I can love myself.
378
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,120
I did go for two whole years,
and I wasn't seeking a relationship.
379
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,400
And I realized that I was...
now I look back, I did really well.
380
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,080
But I can't really say if it would
happen again or not, you know?
381
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:11,760
Because no one knows the future,
382
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,920
and no one knows at that moment
what would actually happen.
383
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,880
[man] There are certain things
that a parolee has to do
384
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,600
to maintain their parole status.
385
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,280
One is to not re-offend.
386
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:41,680
Stalking re-offense is as high as 50%,
387
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,560
sometimes with a repeat offense
in as little as only one day.
388
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,560
My name's Will Worsham.
389
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,920
I was a former assistant prosecuting
attorney in Greene County, Missouri.
390
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,160
I now serve as a municipal judge
and work in private practice.
391
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:20,600
This docket sheet goes all the way back
to 2012 and runs through 2018,
392
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,960
and it shows a significant history
of being on probation,
393
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,680
violating probation.
394
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,200
And the pattern just repeats
over and over for a period of six years.
395
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:34,360
Regardless of the length of sentence,
the pattern of behavior just continues.
396
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:49,000
So on July 18th,
she's writing from jail to the judge.
397
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,760
And she said, "I'm rebellious.
My mind is cluttered."
398
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,760
"I'm an abused child,
lost trust for authority,
399
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:59,080
admit I have attachment issues,
clingy, obsession, and so on."
400
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,440
"Going to get therapy, go to church,
get involved with community,
401
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,040
but scared I'll never change."
402
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,360
"I want and need help."
403
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,960
I think the most honest part here
is when she says,
404
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,400
"I'm scared I'll never change.
I want and need help."
405
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,280
That's a great thing to hear in a letter.
406
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,000
But what's obvious, I think,
from all of this
407
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,080
is that she needs mental health support.
408
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,920
She needs to be in a program,
409
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,160
so we can adjust her ways of thinking
and perceiving people.
410
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,280
The difficulty is finding the resources
to make that happen for her.
411
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,160
Remember, you're dealing with somebody
412
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:36,640
that's been in a system
for her entire life.
413
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:38,520
So she grew up in the foster system.
414
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,720
So the system has always been
her de facto parent
415
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,040
throughout all of this.
416
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,840
She's never had the opportunity
to form a real relationship with a parent.
417
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,000
She doesn't probably know how to do that.
418
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,520
And so in a lot of ways, yeah,
the system has failed,
419
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,120
and it continues, to some extent,
to fail her now.
420
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,360
I have a lot of concern
about Deketrice's future.
421
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:06,200
I'm not sure that there's going to be
services available for her that she needs.
422
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,200
I mean, the church groups
are gonna offer forgiveness.
423
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,320
But she's gonna need somebody,
professional or otherwise,
424
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,120
to come alongside her
425
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,480
and change her... her way of thinking.
426
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,880
[cicadas chirping]
427
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,280
[wind whistling]
428
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:50,800
- Hi!
- [woman] Hey.
429
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:51,880
[laughs]
430
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,320
- How are you feeling?
- Um...
431
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,400
Excited, anxious.
432
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,840
I feel free from the inside, outside.
433
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,080
- Grateful.
- Watch your head.
434
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,520
Happy.
435
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,000
- [officer] Put your seat belt on.
- [engine starts]
436
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,320
[Steve] All right, we're gonna start, eh,
and you can just...
437
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,296
- So we're looking at verse three and four.
- [Deketrice] Can we pray first?
438
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,800
Yeah. We sure can.
439
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,600
Father, we pray that you will,
even in this little short devotion,
440
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,440
that we might benefit from it,
441
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:08,360
and that you would be glorified
in Jesus' name, amen.
442
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,720
She has tried to change before.
443
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:16,600
But I'm far more confident now,
because she seems to be... uh... humble.
444
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,760
She seems to be very humble right now.
445
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,400
Well, honestly, I'm looking to, like,
just keep chasing after God, you know?
446
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,240
I feel like the more I read my Bible,
447
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,000
the more I have
that relationship with Him,
448
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:32,000
I think that everything will be okay
and that He's in control. He has this.
449
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:36,480
[Steve] Dee has a new affection,
and it's changed her life.
450
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,840
She's in love with Jesus Christ.
She wants to please Him.
451
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,200
And so everything, all her behaviors,
452
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,800
are growing out of that new affection
she has.
453
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,920
I realized that when I do do things
my way, everything falls apart.
454
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,640
And when I do things His way,
everything lined up.
455
00:39:55,720 --> 00:40:01,000
So I just gotta remember not to, um... get,
like, into any law trouble or anything
456
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,120
just by just obeying His commands.
457
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,800
Not be a slave of sin,
458
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:09,800
but to obey Him and give up everything,
like, for Him.
459
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,520
I'm gonna stay out of prison.
460
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,560
I'm gonna not ever be obsessed
with anyone again.
461
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,880
And I just wanna take a day at a time.
462
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:47,680
So I won't go on a bad path,
I've been avoiding... old friends.
463
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,000
I've been avoiding... alcohol.
464
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,640
And I've been avoiding women.
465
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,920
It's just been better to just...
466
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,680
you know, just work on myself,
and get on my feet.
467
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,040
I have a job.
468
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,680
I'm a server at Mexican Villa.
469
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,400
So everything is going to plan.
470
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,680
I always felt like
I was missin' somethin' in life
471
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,080
because I didn't grow up with attention.
472
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,080
I only got attention when I was bad.
473
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:25,920
And I think that I found
what I was missing.
474
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,760
It was always in my heart. I found Jesus.
475
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,960
You know, it's a sin to be gay.
476
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,520
[woman] Can you see that your obsessions
477
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,920
and your sexuality
are two different things?
478
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,720
And that there's actually
nothing wrong with being gay?
479
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:49,280
I don't think it's wrong, but God does.
480
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,840
And it doesn't matter what I think.
It matters what God thinks.
481
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:56,600
And I would love to get married
with a woman, but...
482
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:01,200
you know, God doesn't want that,
and I have to obey what He wants.
483
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,120
[introspective music playing]