[cicadas chirping]
[uneasy music playing]
[woman] I've only been obsessed with three people my whole life.
When we make mistakes, we learn from them. Just like a kid, you know.
I guess I just don't regret anything,
but I just wish that it would have turned out differently.
[somber piano music playing]
Sometimes in my head, I... I think about certain things I did.
They say that's considered stalking, but still, I don't think that's stalking.
When I will do those things,
I will get, like... I guess, crazy.
[laughs]
I'm a little scared, to be honest.
[man 1] I'd rather be considered a murderer than a stalker,
you know what I mean?
[woman] I wanted the intensity of, like, of her feeling watched.
[man 2] Anybody could be a stalker.
[man 3] It's all boogeyman talk.
[man 4] I'm still that crazy. [chuckles]
[soft rainfall]
[door slams]
[keys jingling]
[somber piano music playing]
My name is Deketrice Jackson.
I'm here for stalking.
It's a four-year sentence, and I've been in here for two years.
My addiction is women.
I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke cigarettes, or things like that,
but for some reason, it's, like, women that, you know...
It drives me, and it's like... I guess I just love love. [laughs]
[children playing]
[Deketrice] I went into one of my foster homes about six years old.
I got taken because my birth mom didn't want me.
I was bounced around to about 12 total homes.
I was abused a lot in some of my foster homes,
so, like, mistreated...
and not loved.
At ten years old, I... I started liking women.
And at ten, 11, I started fightin' at school
'cause I was picked on because I liked women.
And I went to different foster homes
because they didn't want me, 'cause they said I was bad,
or they didn't want me in a home with the other children because I was gay.
[birdsong]
So I just felt unloved and unwanted.
[Jackson] I was in this foster home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
And we used to go to church,
and there was this lady who was probably about... maybe 24 at the time,
and she was, like, really pretty,
and I... I guess I just wanted her to, like, mother me.
She'd just, like, buy me gifts for Christmas, birthday,
and, like, she let me go over her house every Sunday after church.
I kept wanting her to, um... to parent me.
Well, throughout every time I see her, I get excited and I, like,
used to try to call her "Mom,"
and she would sit down and say, "No, I'm not your mom."
I felt rejected,
not never really having that stable mom... mom figure, you know?
[introspective string music playing]
[woman] When I first met Dee, she was a little girl.
She was introduced to the church, and she was very shy.
This is the church that Dee grew up in.
Um, Divine Temple.
A small church, but it has a big heart with a lot of love.
My name is Tunya King,
and I knew Dee when she attended our church.
[Tunya] I felt like she was longing for something.
It's like when you go to the pound and you see a puppy
and they are just like, "Pick me up. Hold me. Love me."
Um, I got that sense that she needed to be loved.
So we were at my house.
She was like, um... "You should adopt me."
And I'm like, "No!" Like, "Girl, no!" Laughing it off.
Looking back, I never turned around to see her face.
Now, I feel like I probably offended her, um, by saying no like that.
I think she took it as a,
"Why am I not good enough for you to be my mom?"
[birdsong]
When Dee was younger, our relationship, I think, was very pure and very beautiful.
But as she got older, it just started to change.
When I was dating my first husband, I would go visit him on the weekends,
and wouldn't... sometimes didn't make it to church.
And so she wouldn't see me.
She didn't want me to go. She wanted to hang out with me.
And I'm like, "No, I already made plans. I'm going."
And she... It was like she was trying to persuade me to spending time with her.
And I'm like, "Dee, we're not havin' this conversation."
"I said no. Like, that's it."
She just kept asking, you know, like,
"If I ask her 50 times, she's gonna change her mind."
She was persistent.
Um... I would tell her, "Dee, I'll call you back."
And she's, like, still trying to keep me on the phone.
And I'm like, "Dee, I'm hanging up now."
And then when I would hang up, she would call right back.
It got to the point where I had to disassociate myself with her,
because it was just like...
I... I saw where we were going, and I didn't appreciate it.
[rainfall]
[Deketrice] When she got married, I was very emotionally distraught.
It's like, I felt like I lost her.
It brings me back to my childhood, Like, "I'll never be enough."
"I'll never be loved. I'll never have that love."
It's like, if my own mom didn't love me, and then she didn't love me...
[Deketrice] When I met Tiffanie, she used to give me that attention that I craved.
I had, uh, a picture that she gave me of her, and I used to...
at the time, I would, like, kiss her picture goodnight.
Maybe... I don't know. Maybe I just felt safer because, I don't know, like...
You know, being molested as... as a child, I didn't really like men,
but I didn't see me as being gay, I didn't even know what gay was.
It was just more of, "I like that sex."
Like, you know, "Oh, she's pretty."
I never... I just realized I never said to a guy, like, "Oh, he's pretty."
It was just, you know, the women part.
[Tunya] This is Tiffanie.
Beautiful young lady.
This is all during the time that Dee was in our lives.
Tiffanie was able to give Dee the attention
that she wasn't getting from me anymore.
I think we were at Tiffanie's mom's house.
Tiffanie was like, "I think she's in love with both of us,
or she was in love with you and now she's in love with me."
And I was so like, "Whoa, hold on."
That was totally not the nature of our relationship.
I didn't see signs of that. I thought it was more,
"You wanted me to be your mother."
Tiffanie was younger, and Dee gravitated toward her,
and their relationship got weird as well.
My niece brought it to my attention where she changed...
Dee changed her Facebook name.
She named herself "Tiffanie Jackson" and sent friend requests to both of us.
And when I saw it there was no picture, and I'm like, "Pfft! Delete."
And my niece was like, "That's Dee."
And I'm like, "Oh my goodness." I'm like, "Wait a minute."
"Where's the Tiffanie comin' from?"
And she was like, "Exactly. Like, this is getting weird to me."
And that's when she was like, "I think she was trying to mimic my life."
And I'm like, "Oh my God."
[Deketrice] When I was 18, I had my first relationship.
And then the second was Rachel.
I started getting clingy and liking her more and more,
and it was mutual in the beginning,
but the more I was, like, "Don't go anywhere," or "Come back,"
and "Are you gonna leave me?"
the more she got very uncomfortable with me.
I think because I never really had a mom, so, like, bouncing around,
it's just like, "Love me, love me."
And if it's like... I don't know, like, they reject or don't want me,
I get crazy, you know, like depressed or...
you know, a lot of different feelings, a lot of emotions I can't deal with.
Maybe it was just how I picked 'em, but...
each relationship just made me realize that, like, I wasn't enough.
[woman] When I first met Dee, she introduced herself as Tiffanie.
And I didn't find out until probably about six, seven months after that
exactly what her real name was.
I didn't know it was Deketrice until later on.
My name's Christine.
And Deketrice was in a relationship with my daughter, Rachel.
Dee was nice.
I mean, she seemed very nice at first, and she was polite,
and, like, well-mannered.
Next thing I know, she's, like, startin' to...
staying at the house, and...
next thing I know, she's, like, movin' in.
[Christine] I don't know, I was just gettin' vibes, I guess,
that she wasn't really, uh, the right person for Rachel.
Tiffanie would just get these things in her head,
just thinkin' that Rachel would be doing somethin', and she's not.
She's just at home sittin' there.
Tiffanie wanted Rachel to just look a certain way.
And, um, if Rachel didn't want to do... you know, go out or somethin' like that,
then Tiffanie would get mad or...
Then they would fight and argue.
And she don't get her way,
then she can flip, turn...
kind of be a little mean.
[rainfall]
[Deketrice] With Rachel, I was, you know, obsessed.
I used to, like, follow her, like, when she would say she'd be at work,
and I would stalk her by going to see if she's at work.
And then there are days where I'd go there and she's not at work,
and that's when, like, I started having those...
that stalking tendencies.
I guess it has to do with trust.
I didn't trust her.
Like, going through her cellphone and things like that.
I guess that's when I started, like, stalking, in a way.
She kept trying to leave me.
I'd do anything and everything to try to get her to stay.
But when I get rejected...
It's like, I want them...
I guess I'm vindictive sometimes, because, like,
when they're hurting me, it's like I want them to hurt.
You know, slappin' her around and things when she would do things
that I wasn't okay with.
I used to call her a whore, things like that, and, like...
So I guess I was emotionally abusive as well.
[Christine] I came home that one evening.
When I pulled up to the house, the front door was open,
and they were arguing, and I'm not really for sure about what.
That's when I seen her really flip out.
Oh, she threatened to do a lot of things.
It scared me, you know. I don't...
I... I don't wanna die. I didn't want to die then.
The next day after that happened, that's where we got the restraining...
Both of, uh... I did, Rachel and myself each got a restraining order.
[Deketrice] During the breakup, I kept contacting her, I kept calling her.
Didn't understand why she didn't want me. The truth is, I didn't care.
I was supposed to stay away from her, and I didn't.
I kept, like, popping up at her new house which was with her mom.
I just would, like, follow her and things like that.
Pop up to where she was going, just let her know, like,
"Hey, I'm sorry. Be with me," and things like that.
The police said, "Don't go to the house." Well, I went to the house anyhow.
[Christine] She kept breakin' the restrainin' order,
you know, comin' around.
It's like she really didn't care that I had one.
Because she wasn't supposed to be within 1,000 feet of either one of us,
and she could, you know, come over and start yellin' outside.
"Oh, I love you," and, "How can you do this to me?" and...
I wouldn't open up the door or even talk to her.
- She just kept bangin' and bangin'. - [wind chimes tinkling]
She tried breakin' in through the windows, tore out all the screens.
I was scared to death myself, you know, that...
she was gonna come and do somethin', you know...
to Rachel or whatever, and...
But she would be gone by the time the officers got there, of course.
[woman] And how long did this go on for?
At least, uh... a year.
I guess I didn't think about the consequences,
because all what mattered was that I wanted her.
I think I have, like, seven total assaults on my record.
And I knew I shouldn't do that,
but I did it because I wanted her to feel like how I felt, hurt.
It breaks me down sometimes, like, well,
just knowing, like, the feeling of not, like, finding that love.
It's just, like, every woman wants that, you know, picket fence,
that ma... that, um... husband...
the kids, the great job.
Um, I just feel like, I guess, in that...
In my mindset, I wanted that, just with a woman,
and not... not getting it is...
I guess it just breaks me down emotionally,
where I get emotionally distraught.
I just felt like, "Oh my God. I'm never gonna find love."
And some of my friends tell me, you know, like,
"You gotta find love through God, through Jesus."
[man] Several years ago,
Dee was walking down this alley, very depressed.
We had a sign leaning up against our shed out here that said,
"Bible study tonight, seven o'clock."
She had just been very angrily praying to God.
And she said, "I want a sign." [chuckles]
So she looked over and saw our sign, and she took it as a sign.
She came right up to the porch, knocked on the door.
I answered, and she said, "Are you havin' Bible study tonight at seven?"
And I said, "Well, we are now."
I'm Steve Long.
I was Dee's pastor for several years.
I think everybody is desperate for love.
I think many of us come from solid families or solid social surroundings,
and we don't even realize we need love because we're getting it all the time.
But this is a gal that, oh man.
That was a... that was a terrible... a terrible upbringing,
and it... and it seemed to go from one thing to the next.
[tinkling]
One night, she called my wife and I over because she was...
she was thinkin' about committing suicide.
So we went over there and she went...
just this litany of things she had gone through.
And, I mean, we were just in tears, and... and just tryin' to love her.
We just try to listen and help as much as we can, and...
And, uh... certainly, as a minister,
I'm pointing them to Jesus Christ and the hope in Jesus Christ.
We never mentioned homosexuality to Dee.
She would always mention it to us.
Her sexuality, which she...
um... doesn't think's right.
She doesn't think it's right.
And so, we believe that...
that Dee's sexuality was not in line with the Scripture,
but we believed our love for her was totally in line with the Scripture.
[Deketrice] The whole two years, I was doing really well,
and I was working at a day care.
I was just growin', going to church faithfully,
when I... I started gettin' those feelings again for different women.
[Deketrice] I met her at this community center.
And I didn't know that I was gonna become obsessed with her.
I just did, like, crazy things... like, to prove that I really loved her
and wanted her to give me a chance.
I would, like, buy her flowers.
And when I would pop to her house, she wouldn't answer her door.
I would leave the gifts there and come back ten minutes later.
I'd just drive around her neighborhood.
I would come back to see if she took the gifts,
and the gifts would be gone.
So in my head I'm like, "Oh my God," like, you know, "She wanted them."
And I thought that if I did all that, then she'll, like, give me a chance.
And there's things like that.
And then there's more, but some of it is, like, very, um... embarrassing,
so I don't wanna say.
[man] This case came to light after one year of constant harassment
and physical stalking of this victim.
Ms. Jackson and the victim had only spoken a few times,
and it was more of an infatuation of the victim
where there was no real foundation of a relationship between the two.
I'm Corporal David Hatch of the Springfield Police Department.
I was assigned the stalking case involving Ms. Jackson.
[Hatch] The victim reported she had received a note at her residence,
and that escalated with voicemail messages,
Christmas gifts, Easter gifts.
She had dropped off flowers with numerous notes.
Even when the victim had moved,
Ms. Jackson was able to locate her address,
and the gifts continued.
It didn't matter what anyone said to Ms. Jackson,
she was gonna continue the path she was on
and continue to communicate with the victim.
At one point, she had walked into a bar
where the victim was out with, uh... someone she didn't even really know,
and was talking to her and approached her.
She was actually following her wherever she was going.
[Deketrice] I followed her.
I wanted to, like...
It's embarrassing.
I guess I just wanted to show up where she was at and be like, "Oh hey!"
Like I just got there.
And she was like, "Get away from me."
And when she didn't want to be with me, I lost it.
The victim, it got into that level where she no longer believed she was safe
leaving her home without someone with her, uh... to protect her.
- [cicadas chirping] - [uneasy music playing]
[Deketrice] It was, like, late. Like maybe seven at night.
And it was dark. And I was taking her gifts.
First, I rang the doorbell, she didn't answer.
So then I got in my car and I was, like,
trying to text her, and she wouldn't answer the phone.
And when I see a guy go in her house, for some reason, I took out my binoculars.
Tried to look through her house. It was dark.
I wasn't trying to be harmful or anything,
I guess I was just more thinking, like, "Who is this guy?"
[siren wailing]
The victim had contacted 911 stating the suspect, Ms. Jackson,
uh, was outside of her residence,
and she was afraid that Ms. Jackson was gonna break into her residence.
[Hatch] Ms. Jackson would not have stopped
harassing or stalking the victim in this case
if law enforcement had not interjected into... into this and investigated it.
When I looked at the history of Ms. Jackson,
uh, and reports filed here at Springfield Police Department,
I would say, if there was no law enforcement,
there's a high probability of, uh... of this changing from love notes,
to threats, to possible bodily harm.
[cicadas chirping]
[rainfall]
[plaintive piano music playing]
[Deketrice] When I got to prison, I was in denial.
The longer I stay here, the more I realize that I was stalking her.
When I go home, I am scared that it may happen again.
I just want to...
not do this again.
Like, I don't wanna do this again. Like, it's not fun for me,
you know, like, cryin' and, like, wonderin' why someone don't want me.
Like, that's not fun.
But I feel like, with these whole two years,
I wasn't taking my prison time serious.
I would flirt and, you know, be all in women faces,
but I should have took this time to actually, like...
like, heal in my heart and things, you know?
Well, right now I'm on psych meds for my obsession thoughts.
And sometimes it doesn't work, because I get...
I'll start likin' women here, but...
I don't know, I guess, like...
So it won't happen again, I guess I will surround myself with, like, godly people.
I think that I need to surrender to God and repent and just...
I guess, just pick up my cross and follow him.
I don't need love. I can love myself.
I did go for two whole years, and I wasn't seeking a relationship.
And I realized that I was... now I look back, I did really well.
But I can't really say if it would happen again or not, you know?
Because no one knows the future,
and no one knows at that moment what would actually happen.
[man] There are certain things that a parolee has to do
to maintain their parole status.
One is to not re-offend.
Stalking re-offense is as high as 50%,
sometimes with a repeat offense in as little as only one day.
My name's Will Worsham.
I was a former assistant prosecuting attorney in Greene County, Missouri.
I now serve as a municipal judge and work in private practice.
This docket sheet goes all the way back to 2012 and runs through 2018,
and it shows a significant history of being on probation,
violating probation.
And the pattern just repeats over and over for a period of six years.
Regardless of the length of sentence, the pattern of behavior just continues.
So on July 18th, she's writing from jail to the judge.
And she said, "I'm rebellious. My mind is cluttered."
"I'm an abused child, lost trust for authority,
admit I have attachment issues, clingy, obsession, and so on."
"Going to get therapy, go to church, get involved with community,
but scared I'll never change."
"I want and need help."
I think the most honest part here is when she says,
"I'm scared I'll never change. I want and need help."
That's a great thing to hear in a letter.
But what's obvious, I think, from all of this
is that she needs mental health support.
She needs to be in a program,
so we can adjust her ways of thinking and perceiving people.
The difficulty is finding the resources to make that happen for her.
Remember, you're dealing with somebody
that's been in a system for her entire life.
So she grew up in the foster system.
So the system has always been her de facto parent
throughout all of this.
She's never had the opportunity to form a real relationship with a parent.
She doesn't probably know how to do that.
And so in a lot of ways, yeah, the system has failed,
and it continues, to some extent, to fail her now.
I have a lot of concern about Deketrice's future.
I'm not sure that there's going to be services available for her that she needs.
I mean, the church groups are gonna offer forgiveness.
But she's gonna need somebody, professional or otherwise,
to come alongside her
and change her... her way of thinking.
[cicadas chirping]
[wind whistling]
- Hi! - [woman] Hey.
[laughs]
- How are you feeling? - Um...
Excited, anxious.
I feel free from the inside, outside.
- Grateful. - Watch your head.
Happy.
- [officer] Put your seat belt on. - [engine starts]
[Steve] All right, we're gonna start, eh, and you can just...
- So we're looking at verse three and four. - [Deketrice] Can we pray first?
Yeah. We sure can.
Father, we pray that you will, even in this little short devotion,
that we might benefit from it,
and that you would be glorified in Jesus' name, amen.
She has tried to change before.
But I'm far more confident now, because she seems to be... uh... humble.
She seems to be very humble right now.
Well, honestly, I'm looking to, like, just keep chasing after God, you know?
I feel like the more I read my Bible,
the more I have that relationship with Him,
I think that everything will be okay and that He's in control. He has this.
[Steve] Dee has a new affection, and it's changed her life.
She's in love with Jesus Christ. She wants to please Him.
And so everything, all her behaviors,
are growing out of that new affection she has.
I realized that when I do do things my way, everything falls apart.
And when I do things His way, everything lined up.
So I just gotta remember not to, um... get, like, into any law trouble or anything
just by just obeying His commands.
Not be a slave of sin,
but to obey Him and give up everything, like, for Him.
I'm gonna stay out of prison.
I'm gonna not ever be obsessed with anyone again.
And I just wanna take a day at a time.
So I won't go on a bad path, I've been avoiding... old friends.
I've been avoiding... alcohol.
And I've been avoiding women.
It's just been better to just...
you know, just work on myself, and get on my feet.
I have a job.
I'm a server at Mexican Villa.
So everything is going to plan.
I always felt like I was missin' somethin' in life
because I didn't grow up with attention.
I only got attention when I was bad.
And I think that I found what I was missing.
It was always in my heart. I found Jesus.
You know, it's a sin to be gay.
[woman] Can you see that your obsessions
and your sexuality are two different things?
And that there's actually nothing wrong with being gay?
I don't think it's wrong, but God does.
And it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what God thinks.
And I would love to get married with a woman, but...
you know, God doesn't want that, and I have to obey what He wants.
[introspective music playing]