1
00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:09,529
(breathing heavily)

2
00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:21,520
(grunting)

3
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:33,109
(groaning)

4
00:00:51,713 --> 00:00:53,751
(exhales)

5
00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:02,835
Oh, God.

6
00:01:07,713 --> 00:01:10,183
(sighs)

7
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:20,170
What the fuck?

8
00:01:24,546 --> 00:01:26,750
(grunting)

9
00:01:49,629 --> 00:01:51,833
(groaning)

10
00:01:57,612 --> 00:01:58,814
(yelps)

11
00:01:58,881 --> 00:02:01,687
(grunting)

12
00:02:07,231 --> 00:02:09,401
(labored breathing)

13
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,211
(muffled):
Help! Help!

14
00:02:14,278 --> 00:02:18,186
Help!
Help!

15
00:02:18,253 --> 00:02:21,727
Help! Help!

16
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:22,929
Help!

17
00:02:22,996 --> 00:02:25,266
(groaning)

18
00:02:26,302 --> 00:02:28,574
♪♪ ♪♪

19
00:02:30,945 --> 00:02:33,216
(panting)

20
00:02:38,193 --> 00:02:40,463
(exhaling)

21
00:02:54,993 --> 00:02:56,429
Okay.

22
00:02:57,832 --> 00:02:59,903
Okay.

23
00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:03,877
(breathes deeply)

24
00:03:05,948 --> 00:03:08,219
♪♪ ♪♪

25
00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,489
(beep)

26
00:03:26,557 --> 00:03:28,159
GENE:
Hello, Dr. Strauss.

27
00:03:28,226 --> 00:03:30,363
Uh, my name is Gene Bollinger.

28
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:32,434
I was hoping
to get started in a course

29
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:33,904
of psychotherapy.

30
00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:35,908
I thought you might be able
to help me

31
00:03:35,975 --> 00:03:37,410
with some of my problems.

32
00:03:38,113 --> 00:03:39,682
So, uh, yeah.

33
00:03:39,749 --> 00:03:42,153
I guess I'll call you back,
uh, if that's okay.

34
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,690
I'm a little hard to reach.

35
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,863
Yeah, okay, thanks.

36
00:03:50,337 --> 00:03:52,608
(machine beeps)

37
00:03:54,011 --> 00:03:55,414
(phone beeps, dials)

38
00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:57,018
(line rings)

39
00:03:57,084 --> 00:03:59,856
SHOSHANA: Hi, it's Shoshana.
Leave a message.

40
00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:02,060
-(beep)
-Hey, honey. It's Dad.

41
00:04:02,127 --> 00:04:03,230
Just checking in.

42
00:04:03,296 --> 00:04:05,233
I'm in sessions until 8:00.

43
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,970
Bye-bye.

44
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:15,654
What can I help you with, Gene?

45
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,831
My dad beat the shit out of me.

46
00:04:22,167 --> 00:04:24,906
A lot, uh, when I was a kid.

47
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,048
And I think it fucked me up.

48
00:04:29,816 --> 00:04:31,853
That's a tough thing
to go through.

49
00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:34,926
You said it fucked you up.

50
00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:36,797
In what ways?

51
00:04:36,863 --> 00:04:38,801
All ways.

52
00:04:38,868 --> 00:04:40,304
(pants softly)

53
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:41,674
Like I'm not content.

54
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,445
I don't have a good social life.

55
00:04:44,513 --> 00:04:46,750
I get angry.

56
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:53,029
That's the sort of thing
you help people with, right?

57
00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:55,868
Yes.

58
00:04:56,636 --> 00:04:58,272
So, I read your book.

59
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,743
Oh.

60
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,913
-What'd you think?
-It was good.

61
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:06,022
I thought, you know,
this guy is a real expert.

62
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:07,224
Mm-hmm.

63
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:08,961
Well, I've been doing it
a long time.

64
00:05:09,028 --> 00:05:10,898
(chuckles softly)

65
00:05:12,802 --> 00:05:15,039
♪♪ ♪♪

66
00:05:18,848 --> 00:05:21,787
COLLEEN:
I'm sorry for your loss.

67
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,258
That's what
normal people say, right?

68
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,331
ALAN:
How does it feel
for you to say it?

69
00:05:27,397 --> 00:05:28,868
COLLEEN:
It just, um...

70
00:05:29,669 --> 00:05:32,207
...just seems like
what I hear people say.

71
00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:33,710
But I mean it.

72
00:05:33,777 --> 00:05:36,583
Well, that is
the important part.

73
00:05:39,154 --> 00:05:40,424
Gene, I wanted to ask you

74
00:05:40,491 --> 00:05:42,060
about your sunglasses.

75
00:05:42,127 --> 00:05:44,231
I think it might be
a good idea for you

76
00:05:44,298 --> 00:05:46,469
to take them off, so we can see
each other better.

77
00:05:46,537 --> 00:05:47,538
I have eye problems.

78
00:05:47,605 --> 00:05:49,341
ALAN:
Oh, what's wrong?

79
00:05:49,408 --> 00:05:50,844
GENE:
Light hurts them.

80
00:05:51,546 --> 00:05:53,182
They're oversensitive.

81
00:05:53,249 --> 00:05:55,220
You've seen a doctor about it?

82
00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:57,190
Two doctors.

83
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,662
♪♪ ♪♪

84
00:06:04,506 --> 00:06:06,510
(water running)

85
00:06:06,577 --> 00:06:08,514
Well, we're out of time.

86
00:06:08,581 --> 00:06:10,484
Isn't that my line?

87
00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:12,321
(water running)

88
00:06:12,388 --> 00:06:15,160
I'm trying to take care
of your needs again, aren't I?

89
00:06:15,227 --> 00:06:17,197
I think so.

90
00:06:17,264 --> 00:06:19,569
♪♪ ♪♪

91
00:06:22,942 --> 00:06:24,478
He hit me.

92
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,117
All the time.

93
00:06:27,183 --> 00:06:28,987
When you say "all the time,"

94
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:32,428
could you be any more
specific about it?

95
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:34,431
Pretty much all the time.

96
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,786
(baby fussing)

97
00:07:30,210 --> 00:07:32,247
♪♪ ♪♪

98
00:07:55,528 --> 00:07:57,832
-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.

99
00:07:57,898 --> 00:08:00,170
-Alan, welcome.
-ALAN: Chaim, how are you?

100
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:01,271
Baruch Hashem.

101
00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:03,677
-You?
-I'm well, thanks.

102
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,017
-I'll be in the back.
-EZRA: Oh.

103
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:08,654
Okay.

104
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,225
-Hi, Ezra.
-Hi, Dad.

105
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:14,298
It's Mom's guitar?

106
00:08:14,365 --> 00:08:15,501
Mm-hmm.

107
00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,304
I figured you should have it.

108
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:20,143
You're the only one
in the family who plays, so...

109
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:26,088
I don't play anymore.

110
00:08:28,961 --> 00:08:32,969
GENE:
That's it, 'cause you'd expect
anybody to save their own ass,

111
00:08:33,036 --> 00:08:36,442
but he'd rather die
than use her as his excuse,

112
00:08:36,509 --> 00:08:38,614
-like, uh, disgrace her.
-ALAN: I think

113
00:08:38,681 --> 00:08:40,283
I have actually heard
that one before.

114
00:08:40,349 --> 00:08:42,420
Right, it's a classic.

115
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:44,424
(chuckles)

116
00:08:44,492 --> 00:08:47,698
(sighs deeply)

117
00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:51,540
You know, Gene,
I've been thinking.

118
00:08:51,607 --> 00:08:53,343
It's been a while

119
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:55,113
since we started
talking together.

120
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:58,119
And I've noticed that...

121
00:08:59,154 --> 00:09:03,597
...you're not really
opening yourself up to me.

122
00:09:03,664 --> 00:09:06,903
Whenever I ask
for stories or details,

123
00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:09,909
you have a tendency
to get kind of vague

124
00:09:09,976 --> 00:09:11,212
or you start telling me

125
00:09:11,279 --> 00:09:14,485
about country music songs
that you like.

126
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:19,061
And I've noticed
that I myself am feeling

127
00:09:19,127 --> 00:09:21,734
a little frustrated
by this process.

128
00:09:22,502 --> 00:09:25,139
And I'm wondering
if you're feeling that as well.

129
00:09:26,175 --> 00:09:29,649
Usually when one person feels
that way, it's kind of mutual.

130
00:09:32,254 --> 00:09:33,389
I don't know.

131
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:37,966
I guess it's not working
the way it did in your book.

132
00:09:38,032 --> 00:09:41,038
ALAN:
Gene, in order
for this process to work,

133
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,710
you have to be able
to tell me things

134
00:09:43,777 --> 00:09:46,315
that are not easy to tell.

135
00:09:47,384 --> 00:09:50,991
To be open and truthful.

136
00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:55,801
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.

137
00:09:57,738 --> 00:10:00,911
'Cause I'm... I'm trying.

138
00:10:01,746 --> 00:10:04,251
I really-- I'm trying.

139
00:10:05,988 --> 00:10:07,958
In my experience...

140
00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:10,397
...anyone who has come this far,

141
00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:14,037
who has made the choice
to come to therapy

142
00:10:14,104 --> 00:10:18,112
and keep hammering away
at the hard things...

143
00:10:19,582 --> 00:10:21,218
...they can be helped.

144
00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,834
(kettle whistling)

145
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,405
(sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV)

146
00:10:44,365 --> 00:10:45,668
(wind whistling)

147
00:10:45,735 --> 00:10:48,239
(clattering)

148
00:10:51,846 --> 00:10:53,817
(dogs barking in distance)

149
00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:56,388
(clattering)

150
00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:01,766
(dogs continue barking)

151
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,910
(rustling)

152
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:24,077
(rattling)

153
00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:45,821
(gasps)

154
00:11:50,798 --> 00:11:53,068
(crows cawing in distance)

155
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,160
♪♪ ♪♪

156
00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:07,765
(clattering)

157
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,244
(urinating nearby)

158
00:12:26,603 --> 00:12:28,873
(toilet flushing)

159
00:12:39,729 --> 00:12:42,467
I'm so sorry. I know this sucks.

160
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:44,070
I'll be right back.

161
00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:52,788
(door closes)

162
00:12:54,593 --> 00:12:57,698
(door opens)

163
00:12:57,765 --> 00:12:58,867
(door closes)

164
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:01,138
Gene, what the hell's going on?

165
00:13:01,205 --> 00:13:03,543
I mean, what the fuck?!

166
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,281
Let me out, let me out,
let me out of here.

167
00:13:06,348 --> 00:13:08,586
Let me out of here
right now, Gene!

168
00:13:08,653 --> 00:13:11,191
-Gene!
-You take it easy.

169
00:13:13,162 --> 00:13:15,099
Last night you were screaming.

170
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:18,205
We're in the woods out here.
Nobody's around.

171
00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:24,552
I know how upset you are.

172
00:13:24,618 --> 00:13:26,288
Of course. Anybody would be.

173
00:13:26,355 --> 00:13:28,526
This isn't as bad as it seems.

174
00:13:30,731 --> 00:13:34,605
It's bad, I know it's bad, but
I just, I just need your help.

175
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:35,741
Look...

176
00:13:36,743 --> 00:13:39,515
I don't know what you think
you're doing, but this...

177
00:13:39,582 --> 00:13:40,984
this...
(sighs)

178
00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:42,922
Unlock this goddamn chain.

179
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,126
Right now. I mean it, Gene.

180
00:13:46,062 --> 00:13:47,898
Gene, listen,
you have to listen to me.

181
00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:50,436
I realize that there's
something inside of you

182
00:13:50,504 --> 00:13:52,307
that's telling you
that this is a good idea...

183
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,812
I know, it's-it's not exactly
that it's a good idea,

184
00:13:54,879 --> 00:13:56,081
I do realize that.

185
00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:58,085
But, you know,
I'm out of options,

186
00:13:58,152 --> 00:14:00,256
and I really think
if we can just talk,

187
00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:02,427
this will, this will be okay.

188
00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:04,498
-Okay-ish.
-I have to help you see

189
00:14:04,565 --> 00:14:06,301
that this is wrong.

190
00:14:07,337 --> 00:14:08,974
Scaring me like this is wrong.

191
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:10,944
You have to see that.
I know you can see that.

192
00:14:11,011 --> 00:14:12,447
I do, I do, I know,

193
00:14:12,515 --> 00:14:16,957
but... I wasn't getting
anywhere in therapy.

194
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,128
You said so yourself, right?

195
00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:20,564
And I think that I know why.

196
00:14:20,631 --> 00:14:22,200
You see, I-I couldn't...

197
00:14:22,266 --> 00:14:24,939
I couldn't really tell you
the truth in your office.

198
00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:26,743
But here, here... I can.

199
00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:28,146
No, no, no, no, no.

200
00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:29,882
This-this-this isn't good
for either of us, Gene.

201
00:14:29,949 --> 00:14:33,824
We have to go back to my office
and work through this together

202
00:14:33,891 --> 00:14:35,426
before this gets
more out of hand.

203
00:14:35,494 --> 00:14:38,834
These are leftovers from Maruti,
which is one of my favorites.

204
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,637
It's surprisingly good
for breakfast.

205
00:14:40,704 --> 00:14:42,207
This is chana palak.

206
00:14:42,274 --> 00:14:43,409
Put some of this on it.

207
00:14:43,475 --> 00:14:46,081
This is sabzi.
It's good with this one.

208
00:14:46,147 --> 00:14:48,052
For God's sake, Gene, Gene!

209
00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:49,387
My name's...

210
00:14:50,791 --> 00:14:52,928
My name's actually Sam.

211
00:14:57,403 --> 00:14:58,573
Sorry.

212
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,950
It's important to eat.

213
00:15:04,719 --> 00:15:06,556
I'm not gonna eat.

214
00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:08,358
Gene-- Sam.

215
00:15:10,062 --> 00:15:12,467
You have to listen to me.

216
00:15:12,534 --> 00:15:13,603
I am listening.

217
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,675
I am listening.
I know how to listen.

218
00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:17,477
I understand...

219
00:15:18,246 --> 00:15:20,350
...this is upsetting for you.

220
00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,184
I get that.

221
00:15:21,251 --> 00:15:23,389
It's a little scary,

222
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,194
but this is the only way
that I could... I...

223
00:15:27,631 --> 00:15:29,401
I need help. I want help.

224
00:15:29,468 --> 00:15:32,575
I'm asking you for, for help.

225
00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:34,879
You said therapy can't work
if I'm not truthful.

226
00:15:34,946 --> 00:15:36,081
I know that you're right, so...

227
00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:37,918
Mm-mm. No.
No, you don't understand.

228
00:15:37,985 --> 00:15:40,524
I don't, I don't think you know
what you're doing to me.

229
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,394
I realize it might take you
a little time

230
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,663
to get used
to what's happening here.

231
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:45,166
Whatever is troubling you,

232
00:15:45,232 --> 00:15:47,538
we can address it, but not here.

233
00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:49,743
-Not like this.
-Dr. Strauss, I have
much bigger problems

234
00:15:49,809 --> 00:15:51,311
than your other patients.

235
00:15:53,115 --> 00:15:55,554
I have a compulsion...

236
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,093
...to kill people.

237
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,007
A compulsion?

238
00:16:08,079 --> 00:16:09,548
Yeah, I do it.

239
00:16:15,561 --> 00:16:18,465
-Sam...
-I don't mean
just once or twice.

240
00:16:19,802 --> 00:16:22,006
Every once in a while I just...

241
00:16:22,874 --> 00:16:24,310
...do it.

242
00:16:26,749 --> 00:16:28,820
And this has gone on ever since,

243
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,659
uh, for a long time.

244
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,932
And I know I'm fucked up.

245
00:16:34,999 --> 00:16:36,970
I've read all the books,

246
00:16:37,036 --> 00:16:40,143
almost everything about,
uh, people like me,

247
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,648
people who do this stuff,
and I can't...

248
00:16:45,687 --> 00:16:47,157
I want to stop.

249
00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:49,929
And I'm trying so hard.

250
00:16:49,996 --> 00:16:51,532
I'm trying so hard right now,

251
00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:53,236
but there's this guy,
there's this one guy,

252
00:16:53,302 --> 00:16:54,705
and I just want to...

253
00:16:54,772 --> 00:16:57,109
for months now...

254
00:16:57,978 --> 00:16:59,480
Uh, but I've not done it.

255
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,586
'Cause I...

256
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:04,626
Uh, because I can't.

257
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:05,694
Now, you, I wish you knew

258
00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:07,330
what it was like
to live like this.

259
00:17:07,396 --> 00:17:09,101
It's not like what they say.

260
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,738
Right? Where he's like a...

261
00:17:11,506 --> 00:17:13,476
Have you seen
Silence of the Lambs?

262
00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:16,114
Where he's like a robot.
(clears throat)

263
00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:17,618
It's not like that.

264
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:20,189
Gene.

265
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:23,228
-Sam.
-Sam.

266
00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,569
Unlock this chain.

267
00:17:26,636 --> 00:17:29,140
I'm going to walk out of here
and go back to my office.

268
00:17:29,207 --> 00:17:30,777
No, we already tried that.

269
00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,647
It didn't work without me
telling you the truth.

270
00:17:32,714 --> 00:17:34,852
It will be different
now that I know the truth.

271
00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:37,925
You will come to my office
two, three days a week.

272
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,996
I cannot help you like this.

273
00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,832
This is just going
to make it worse.

274
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:43,737
Let me go.

275
00:17:43,803 --> 00:17:45,172
I know you'd have to turn me in.

276
00:17:45,239 --> 00:17:48,478
No, no, no, no, no.
I would not have to turn you in.

277
00:17:49,214 --> 00:17:50,818
Legally, ethically,

278
00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,656
unless you told me you were
going to commit another crime,

279
00:17:53,723 --> 00:17:55,259
I can work with you.

280
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,765
Everything you've told me
so far is confidential.

281
00:17:57,831 --> 00:17:59,835
I am gonna commit another crime.

282
00:18:00,804 --> 00:18:02,874
(exhaling)

283
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:08,920
I know I'm not normal.

284
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,857
But I don't feel crazy.

285
00:18:11,826 --> 00:18:13,095
I'm not...

286
00:18:13,162 --> 00:18:14,899
(sighs)

287
00:18:14,966 --> 00:18:17,437
I know this has to end, right?
This has to stop.

288
00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:20,442
I just, I don't know how.

289
00:18:23,717 --> 00:18:25,185
This is not the way.

290
00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:27,591
Well...

291
00:18:28,325 --> 00:18:29,895
I'm sorry.

292
00:18:34,137 --> 00:18:35,874
Really, you're the best.

293
00:18:35,941 --> 00:18:39,280
I met with three different
Jewish therapists.

294
00:18:40,316 --> 00:18:41,986
I chose you.

295
00:18:42,053 --> 00:18:44,323
Uh-huh.

296
00:18:50,937 --> 00:18:53,208
♪♪ ♪♪

297
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,258
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH