1 00:00:03,985 --> 00:00:06,255 ♪♪ ♪♪ 2 00:00:15,876 --> 00:00:17,646 (birds chirping) 3 00:00:17,712 --> 00:00:21,620 -ALAN: Candace! Candace? -(chain jingling) 4 00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:25,093 Get down here! Now! 5 00:00:26,262 --> 00:00:28,868 Sam just left. He is going to kill his father. 6 00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:30,671 -What did you say to him? -He decided 7 00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:32,843 that killing his father would make him better. 8 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,212 Would it? 9 00:00:34,278 --> 00:00:36,049 Well, no, I don't think so. 10 00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:37,819 He could come back here and... 11 00:00:37,885 --> 00:00:39,422 Are you sure it won't work? 12 00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:44,733 (sighs) Candace, I understand that this man was brutal to you. 13 00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:47,171 But I'm supposed to care what happens to him? 14 00:00:47,237 --> 00:00:50,511 Well... yes. Yes, a little. 15 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,416 (doorbell rings) 16 00:01:06,309 --> 00:01:08,413 Can I come in? 17 00:01:21,239 --> 00:01:23,343 You hungry? 18 00:01:35,969 --> 00:01:37,872 (footsteps descending stairs) 19 00:01:46,891 --> 00:01:49,295 I've been in this position many times. 20 00:01:49,361 --> 00:01:51,767 There's nothing you can do. 21 00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:56,810 I usually have a beer and try to relax. 22 00:02:05,227 --> 00:02:07,064 (chain jingling) 23 00:02:07,131 --> 00:02:09,836 (knife chopping) 24 00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:20,859 Bathroom? 25 00:02:20,925 --> 00:02:23,196 Uh, around the corner. 26 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:43,805 (sighs) 27 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,775 (urinating) 28 00:03:02,775 --> 00:03:05,748 You think I'm some sort of a monster, too. 29 00:03:08,186 --> 00:03:10,491 But I'm not. 30 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,531 I'm like anybody else. 31 00:03:13,598 --> 00:03:18,273 When he's... out, like now... 32 00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:20,645 I'm so scared for him. 33 00:03:20,711 --> 00:03:25,788 I'm so sad for the life he's living. 34 00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:35,541 But the families... the people he does this to... 35 00:03:36,877 --> 00:03:39,549 I make up stories in my head about them. 36 00:03:39,616 --> 00:03:42,154 I live it, in a way. 37 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:46,162 I picture... them as babies, 38 00:03:46,228 --> 00:03:48,834 with their mothers holding them. 39 00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:52,441 Their fathers playing with them on the floor. 40 00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:58,386 These poor men. 41 00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:00,925 But you won't call the police? 42 00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:06,570 Candace... you won't save them from this? 43 00:04:08,641 --> 00:04:10,410 I can't. 44 00:04:12,147 --> 00:04:14,519 I cannot. 45 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:22,802 God. 46 00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:29,582 (chain jingling) 47 00:04:36,195 --> 00:04:39,769 (plates clinking) 48 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:44,712 (sighs) 49 00:04:55,835 --> 00:04:59,341 Why did you used to hit me so much when I was a kid? 50 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,851 (sighs heavily) 51 00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:06,957 I don't know. 52 00:05:10,798 --> 00:05:15,507 How did it make you feel? When you...? 53 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:17,979 What? 54 00:05:20,117 --> 00:05:24,392 When you used to hit me all the time. 55 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:27,131 How did it make you feel? 56 00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:31,405 (sighs) I don't know. 57 00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:34,111 Bad, I guess. 58 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,618 You were a weird kid. 59 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:41,560 You couldn't follow rules, you couldn't play games, 60 00:05:41,626 --> 00:05:44,465 you didn't have any friends. 61 00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,137 And your mother was reading all her books, 62 00:05:47,204 --> 00:05:50,811 telling me it was all my fault you were like that. 63 00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:54,786 Anyway, I'm sorry. 64 00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:06,810 (grunting) 65 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,628 (straining) 66 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,431 (wheezes) 67 00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:45,186 My therapist said not to kill you. 68 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:52,802 And then I left. 69 00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:56,008 How do you feel? 70 00:06:57,912 --> 00:07:03,524 I was choking him and I could feel him disappearing, 71 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,828 and I stopped. 72 00:07:07,499 --> 00:07:09,702 It was like I didn't want to. 73 00:07:11,072 --> 00:07:12,576 Why not? 74 00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:14,813 I-I don't know. 75 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,119 I mean, he said he was sorry, but fuck him, right? 76 00:07:18,186 --> 00:07:21,927 I just, I hate him so much 77 00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:24,967 and usually that feeling, it makes me want to 78 00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:27,605 go ahead and... 79 00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:30,978 But I was on top of him, and I hated him. 80 00:07:31,045 --> 00:07:37,324 And this time, that feeling, it-it made me not want to. 81 00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:39,962 I... 82 00:07:41,098 --> 00:07:42,735 Hmm. 83 00:07:42,802 --> 00:07:45,473 Do you know why I didn't do it? 84 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:49,883 What was different, between your father, 85 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,253 and everyone else that you've hurt? 86 00:07:54,325 --> 00:07:55,594 I don't know. 87 00:07:55,661 --> 00:07:58,600 What's the obvious difference? 88 00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:01,472 He hurt me the most. 89 00:08:01,539 --> 00:08:04,011 Okay, good. What else? 90 00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:07,551 What's the most obvious difference? 91 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,196 He's my father. 92 00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:15,501 Right. 93 00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,705 Sam, you were on top of him... 94 00:08:17,772 --> 00:08:21,780 the one who treated you like this. 95 00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:25,788 If you killed him, you'd be doing it, too. 96 00:08:25,854 --> 00:08:27,357 Acting just like him. 97 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,194 Being just like him. 98 00:08:29,261 --> 00:08:30,463 You hate that part of him. 99 00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:33,103 You are trying to be different. 100 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:36,109 Trying to get rid of that ugly part of him 101 00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:37,878 that lives inside of you. 102 00:08:37,945 --> 00:08:42,689 You were right to confront your father. 103 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:44,793 But you didn't need to kill him. 104 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:48,299 You needed to not kill him. 105 00:08:49,268 --> 00:08:52,675 This is it, Sam. 106 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,011 It is a major breakthrough, 107 00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:57,484 even if you're not quite feeling it yet. 108 00:08:57,552 --> 00:09:01,527 Not killing your father is... 109 00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:03,864 You wanted to change. 110 00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:07,638 Look at you. You've changed. 111 00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:11,613 How does it feel? 112 00:09:12,615 --> 00:09:14,953 Okay. I guess. 113 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,925 It's everything that we have been working towards. 114 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:22,133 You-you stopped yourself. This is extraordinary. 115 00:09:27,645 --> 00:09:29,181 Thanks. 116 00:09:29,248 --> 00:09:32,054 (takes deep breath) 117 00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:34,257 -(Sam laughs softly) -Hmm. 118 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,098 (exhales, laughs) 119 00:09:40,671 --> 00:09:42,541 I'm gonna go and get some dinner. 120 00:09:42,608 --> 00:09:45,079 Uh, is there anything in particular that you'd... 121 00:09:45,146 --> 00:09:47,552 I'm-I'm not really hungry right now. 122 00:09:47,618 --> 00:09:51,158 I, um... Sam... 123 00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:57,270 It's time to let me go home. 124 00:09:58,406 --> 00:10:00,277 You're ready. 125 00:10:01,145 --> 00:10:03,783 And I need to get back to my family. 126 00:10:06,121 --> 00:10:10,230 Sometimes therapists talk with their patients 127 00:10:10,296 --> 00:10:11,566 about their own lives. 128 00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:15,473 Because... well, you know, we're all human beings. 129 00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:19,014 We all are struggling, every last one of us. 130 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:23,222 So... I want you to understand a few things about me. 131 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,028 You have been struggling with your father. 132 00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:28,032 And you just had a big breakthrough. 133 00:10:28,099 --> 00:10:32,174 I'm in the middle of a struggle with my son, too. 134 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,248 And I need to get back to him for our breakthrough. 135 00:10:37,017 --> 00:10:39,956 I did a lot of damage to my son, too. 136 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:42,895 I know it's not the same as what your father did. 137 00:10:42,962 --> 00:10:49,241 But, Sam... people don't deserve to die 138 00:10:49,308 --> 00:10:51,445 for falling short. 139 00:10:51,513 --> 00:10:53,617 No matter how short. 140 00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:58,727 We're all... broken vessels. 141 00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:03,904 I need to get back to my son. 142 00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:08,747 I want you to come see me in my office for regular sessions, 143 00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:10,149 every day at first, 144 00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:13,890 but pretty soon we can go to three days a week. 145 00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:16,963 I have enormous faith in you. 146 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,136 I also want to address 147 00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:22,440 your completely understandable concern, I assume, 148 00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:25,147 that, if you let me go, I will turn you in. 149 00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:29,488 As a therapist, I have a legal and ethical obligation 150 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,459 to keep your confidence. 151 00:11:31,527 --> 00:11:34,431 Including any, um, 152 00:11:34,499 --> 00:11:36,803 crimes that you may have committed in the past. 153 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:41,747 It only gets thorny if you are clearly going to kill somebody. 154 00:11:41,813 --> 00:11:43,382 And if, at some point in the future, 155 00:11:43,449 --> 00:11:46,355 you have an overwhelming urge to kill again, 156 00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:49,027 and you don't think you'll be able to control it, 157 00:11:49,094 --> 00:11:50,998 that will be the moment for us 158 00:11:51,064 --> 00:11:53,837 to find a therapeutic institution for you. 159 00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:55,974 But I don't see that happening. 160 00:11:56,041 --> 00:12:00,718 I think that, by not killing your father, 161 00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:03,891 you have demonstrated great progress 162 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,328 and likely permanent change. 163 00:12:08,099 --> 00:12:09,835 I'm really proud of you. 164 00:12:09,902 --> 00:12:13,544 I am proud of the progress that you have made. 165 00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:18,419 And I think that you will continue to make progress. 166 00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:28,205 (crickets chirping) 167 00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,254 ♪♪ ♪♪ 168 00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:01,238 ♪♪ ♪♪ 169 00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:23,248 (engine starts) 170 00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:33,436 (truck approaching) 171 00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:36,408 (engine turns off) 172 00:13:36,475 --> 00:13:38,278 (truck door closes) 173 00:13:39,816 --> 00:13:41,519 (tailgate opens) 174 00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:43,422 (scraping) 175 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:50,937 (creaking, thumping) 176 00:13:53,878 --> 00:13:56,014 (chain jingling) 177 00:13:58,452 --> 00:14:01,191 (Sam grunting) 178 00:14:23,369 --> 00:14:24,939 (grunts) 179 00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:32,386 (grunts) 180 00:14:51,826 --> 00:14:53,930 I'll be right back. 181 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,144 ♪♪ ♪♪ 182 00:15:05,788 --> 00:15:07,691 (Sam grunting) 183 00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:18,980 (grunts) 184 00:15:37,919 --> 00:15:40,123 I get what you've been saying. 185 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,026 I've been rushing you. 186 00:15:42,093 --> 00:15:44,866 Because I want to get better. 187 00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:49,341 But therapy takes time. 188 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:52,681 Years, you said, sometimes. 189 00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:59,227 So, I'll get a TV and... 190 00:15:59,294 --> 00:16:02,200 I can stock the fridge with anything you want. 191 00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:15,493 (door closes) 192 00:16:20,837 --> 00:16:23,275 It's a miracle that everyone who was beaten like that 193 00:16:23,342 --> 00:16:25,681 doesn't become a serial killer. 194 00:16:25,748 --> 00:16:28,554 Why wouldn't they, after suffering like that? 195 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:34,131 It's like an effort to turn them into a serial killer 196 00:16:34,197 --> 00:16:36,503 that doesn't always work. 197 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:38,940 That poor kid... 198 00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:41,478 with all of it... 199 00:16:41,545 --> 00:16:45,854 he somehow managed to not kill his father. 200 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,893 Maybe this fucking therapy is working after all. 201 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:53,402 We know this story. He needs a replacement father. 202 00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:56,475 That's why he wants to keep you here for the next ten years. 203 00:16:56,543 --> 00:17:00,116 He understands, maybe intuitively, that he needs 204 00:17:00,182 --> 00:17:02,120 to do it again. 205 00:17:02,186 --> 00:17:05,426 To relive his life with a different model. 206 00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:09,536 Well, I'm not spending the next ten years down here. 207 00:17:09,602 --> 00:17:12,741 No, you're not. 208 00:17:18,519 --> 00:17:20,222 (exhales) 209 00:17:31,713 --> 00:17:33,516 (chain jingling) 210 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,390 ♪♪ ♪♪ 211 00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:15,533 ♪♪ ♪♪ 212 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,711 ♪♪ ♪♪ 213 00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:51,706 (takes deep breath) 214 00:18:55,914 --> 00:18:58,687 A little meshuggener, maybe. 215 00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:00,356 (laughs softly) 216 00:19:09,074 --> 00:19:10,744 (drops pen) 217 00:19:11,813 --> 00:19:13,348 (sighs) 218 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,994 Sam? 219 00:19:36,762 --> 00:19:39,233 Sam, could you come out here, please? 220 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:12,734 Sam, I don't think... 221 00:20:18,278 --> 00:20:20,551 I don't think that I said what really 222 00:20:20,617 --> 00:20:23,421 needed to be said yesterday. 223 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:28,566 It has been a problem down here for me, 224 00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:32,306 to always know exactly how to communicate with you. 225 00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:35,246 And to know what I'm feeling. 226 00:20:36,248 --> 00:20:39,655 I have something to say that may be difficult to hear. 227 00:20:39,722 --> 00:20:41,993 That is part of this process, though, 228 00:20:42,059 --> 00:20:44,331 honestly sharing the truth, 229 00:20:44,398 --> 00:20:46,702 even if it's hard. 230 00:20:52,113 --> 00:20:53,749 You brought me down here, 231 00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:57,657 and you asked me to treat you, and I did. 232 00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:02,634 And I can't do it anymore. 233 00:21:04,370 --> 00:21:07,511 I have done the most I can. 234 00:21:07,578 --> 00:21:10,717 And I am telling you, in my professional opinion, 235 00:21:10,784 --> 00:21:14,892 and I consider this to be a near certainty, 236 00:21:14,959 --> 00:21:20,002 for you to get better, you need to be physically stopped 237 00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:21,972 from acting out your compulsion. 238 00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:26,114 Being physically prevented from hurting anyone else 239 00:21:26,181 --> 00:21:30,389 is what will give you the freedom to actually heal 240 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,427 your heart and your mind. 241 00:21:32,494 --> 00:21:35,266 It's what will give you the space to heal 242 00:21:35,332 --> 00:21:36,702 what your father did to you. 243 00:21:36,769 --> 00:21:39,508 As much as it can be, Sam. 244 00:21:39,575 --> 00:21:42,581 That kind of pain never heals entirely. 245 00:21:42,648 --> 00:21:47,390 But you can do enough of it to allow you to live a better life. 246 00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:52,166 Sam, I have so much respect for what you're trying to do. 247 00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:53,536 It's very brave. 248 00:21:53,602 --> 00:21:56,775 In the whole history of people who have struggled 249 00:21:56,842 --> 00:21:58,479 with what you're struggling with, 250 00:21:58,546 --> 00:22:01,018 I bet you stand alone 251 00:22:01,084 --> 00:22:03,990 in the strength of your efforts to change. 252 00:22:05,861 --> 00:22:08,398 (sighs) And... 253 00:22:10,403 --> 00:22:13,676 ...it's time to turn yourself in. 254 00:22:13,743 --> 00:22:16,583 Call the police and turn yourself in. 255 00:22:16,649 --> 00:22:20,557 I now know, apart from anything having to do with me, 256 00:22:20,624 --> 00:22:23,729 this is the only way for you. 257 00:22:26,468 --> 00:22:28,973 Our therapy is over. 258 00:22:29,742 --> 00:22:31,712 You need to make a choice. 259 00:22:31,779 --> 00:22:34,251 I'm making one, and you have to make one, too. 260 00:22:34,317 --> 00:22:38,358 My choice is that I am not doing therapy with you anymore. 261 00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:43,435 Your choice-- you can turn yourself in, 262 00:22:43,503 --> 00:22:47,443 or you can end this the other way. 263 00:22:50,416 --> 00:22:53,389 I don't want to do that. 264 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:54,659 Either one. 265 00:22:54,725 --> 00:22:57,831 I know. But it's time. 266 00:22:57,898 --> 00:23:02,106 And I'm not going to live down here like a pet. 267 00:23:07,884 --> 00:23:10,122 ♪♪ ♪♪ 268 00:23:16,334 --> 00:23:18,104 (door closes) 269 00:23:21,278 --> 00:23:22,881 (sighs) 270 00:23:24,383 --> 00:23:26,522 (keys jingling) 271 00:23:37,544 --> 00:23:38,780 (door slides closed) 272 00:23:38,846 --> 00:23:40,315 (footsteps departing) 273 00:23:40,382 --> 00:23:42,821 (gate creaks) 274 00:23:49,902 --> 00:23:51,972 (birds chirping) 275 00:24:00,322 --> 00:24:02,627 ♪♪ ♪♪ 276 00:24:22,133 --> 00:24:24,771 (truck approaching) 277 00:24:26,709 --> 00:24:28,311 (engine turns off) 278 00:24:28,378 --> 00:24:31,686 (truck door opens, closes) 279 00:24:31,752 --> 00:24:34,558 (door opens, closes in distance) 280 00:24:46,982 --> 00:24:48,719 ♪♪ ♪♪ 281 00:25:02,046 --> 00:25:03,949 (door opens) 282 00:25:21,284 --> 00:25:23,254 Thank you. 283 00:25:27,698 --> 00:25:29,401 I know you want to go home... 284 00:25:29,467 --> 00:25:34,411 but... he's not ready. 285 00:25:34,477 --> 00:25:36,815 He's not. 286 00:25:38,553 --> 00:25:41,124 Candace, this needs to end now. 287 00:25:41,892 --> 00:25:46,000 No matter what happens, we can't leave anything unsaid. 288 00:25:48,104 --> 00:25:51,011 This is going to be hard to hear, 289 00:25:51,077 --> 00:25:53,348 and I want you to know that I am saying it 290 00:25:53,415 --> 00:25:55,018 not just in my best interests, 291 00:25:55,085 --> 00:25:57,757 but in yours and Sam's as well. 292 00:25:59,561 --> 00:26:04,203 When he was a boy and his father was abusing him, 293 00:26:04,270 --> 00:26:07,610 you didn't take any steps to stop it. 294 00:26:08,445 --> 00:26:12,219 You didn't leave or get help. 295 00:26:12,286 --> 00:26:15,760 It wasn't your fault, you didn't know what to do. 296 00:26:16,562 --> 00:26:19,768 But you did not protect him. 297 00:26:22,373 --> 00:26:25,913 You did not protect your son. 298 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:39,040 (sniffling) 299 00:26:39,107 --> 00:26:40,877 (sobs, sniffles) 300 00:26:40,944 --> 00:26:42,881 -Ah! What are you doing? -Sam! Sam?! 301 00:26:42,948 --> 00:26:44,885 Ow, ow! Stop. What are you doing, Dr. Strauss? 302 00:26:44,951 --> 00:26:47,056 Sam, come downstairs right now! Stop! 303 00:26:47,123 --> 00:26:49,595 I am sorry to be in this position. 304 00:26:49,662 --> 00:26:51,799 I don't want to be doing this. 305 00:26:51,866 --> 00:26:53,636 I care about you, Sam, I really do. 306 00:26:53,703 --> 00:26:55,507 But-- No, no! Stop! 307 00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:57,678 But I will kill her if you don't call the police. 308 00:26:57,744 --> 00:26:59,080 Sam, I... 309 00:26:59,147 --> 00:27:00,650 Do it, Sam, 310 00:27:00,717 --> 00:27:02,052 -or I will cut her throat. -Sam, please. 311 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:03,923 -Dr. Strauss, you... -ALAN: I don't want to. 312 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:06,294 I don't want to, Sam. What I want is for you to call 911, 313 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,602 and turn yourself in, you have to. Turn yourself in! 314 00:27:09,668 --> 00:27:10,937 -Or I will do it! -He's just bluffing, Mom. 315 00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,473 All he wants to do is get out of here. 316 00:27:12,541 --> 00:27:14,143 I am not, Sam. Call 911! 317 00:27:14,210 --> 00:27:15,914 I-I don't-- I don't believe you... 318 00:27:15,981 --> 00:27:17,551 I am not bluffing, Sam! 319 00:27:17,618 --> 00:27:19,187 I am going to kill her. 320 00:27:19,254 --> 00:27:21,659 You said we shouldn't interrupt each other down here! 321 00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:24,931 Goddamn it, we let each other finish! 322 00:27:29,407 --> 00:27:32,280 You... you said I was getting better. 323 00:27:32,346 --> 00:27:34,785 You-- I believed you. 324 00:27:34,852 --> 00:27:36,655 I told you last night. You cannot get better 325 00:27:36,722 --> 00:27:39,460 unless you are stopped from acting out your compulsions. 326 00:27:39,528 --> 00:27:42,033 That is the only way out for you. 327 00:27:42,099 --> 00:27:44,871 This is the only way out for me. 328 00:27:48,445 --> 00:27:50,517 Make your choice. 329 00:27:50,584 --> 00:27:53,188 I don't want to. 330 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:57,697 Then your mother's going to die. And you'll kill me. 331 00:28:00,101 --> 00:28:03,107 I don't think you're the kind of man that can even do it. 332 00:28:06,515 --> 00:28:07,884 (Candace screams) 333 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,890 (high-pitched ringing) 334 00:28:19,775 --> 00:28:23,214 (distorted singing) 335 00:28:23,281 --> 00:28:25,318 ♪♪ ♪♪ 336 00:28:35,038 --> 00:28:36,374 CHAVA: Alan? 337 00:28:36,441 --> 00:28:37,810 (whimpers) 338 00:28:37,877 --> 00:28:39,013 Alan? 339 00:28:39,079 --> 00:28:40,883 -(gasps) -(children chattering) 340 00:28:40,950 --> 00:28:42,019 Are you okay? 341 00:28:42,085 --> 00:28:44,457 (sighs) Just a bad dream. 342 00:28:44,524 --> 00:28:47,196 (playful chatter continues) 343 00:28:47,263 --> 00:28:48,700 (sighs) 344 00:28:48,766 --> 00:28:52,874 About when you were... away? 345 00:28:53,777 --> 00:28:55,212 Not exactly. 346 00:28:55,279 --> 00:28:57,750 Then what was it? 347 00:28:59,019 --> 00:29:01,992 I'll tell you in about ten years. 348 00:29:02,059 --> 00:29:04,163 EZRA: Keep your stuff together, here we go. 349 00:29:04,229 --> 00:29:07,169 Everyone, let's go. It's dinnertime. 350 00:29:18,893 --> 00:29:20,262 I'm just saying, I don't know 351 00:29:20,328 --> 00:29:21,766 how Shmuel ended up being the coach. 352 00:29:21,832 --> 00:29:23,035 Shush. Dov likes him. 353 00:29:23,101 --> 00:29:24,772 You can't shield him from the truth. 354 00:29:24,838 --> 00:29:26,340 I'm not so sure about that. 355 00:29:26,407 --> 00:29:27,510 Coach Shmuel was captain 356 00:29:27,577 --> 00:29:28,812 of the intermural baseball team 357 00:29:28,879 --> 00:29:30,516 -at UMass. -Yes, we know. 358 00:29:30,583 --> 00:29:32,319 We all know. That's my point. 359 00:29:32,386 --> 00:29:34,924 (chuckles) 360 00:29:35,793 --> 00:29:37,129 Thank you. 361 00:29:38,599 --> 00:29:40,737 (singing in Hebrew) 362 00:29:40,804 --> 00:29:44,678 (all joining in) 363 00:29:44,745 --> 00:29:46,782 (singing in Hebrew) 364 00:29:46,848 --> 00:29:49,119 (all continue singing in Hebrew) 365 00:29:53,929 --> 00:29:57,202 ♪♪ ♪♪ 366 00:29:59,106 --> 00:30:01,712 (laughs, continues singing) 367 00:30:01,779 --> 00:30:05,452 (all singing in Hebrew) 368 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,393 ♪♪ ♪♪ 369 00:30:12,934 --> 00:30:16,173 ♪♪ ♪♪ 370 00:30:24,189 --> 00:30:29,266 (all continue singing in Hebrew) 371 00:30:38,352 --> 00:30:40,189 (song ends) 372 00:30:40,255 --> 00:30:42,059 (recites passage in Hebrew) 373 00:30:42,126 --> 00:30:45,132 (others respond in Hebrew) 374 00:30:45,199 --> 00:30:48,505 (Ezra reciting passage in Hebrew) 375 00:30:48,572 --> 00:30:52,446 ♪♪ ♪♪ 376 00:30:52,514 --> 00:30:56,889 Stop! Stop! Stop! Don't! 377 00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:59,694 Don't, Sam! 378 00:30:59,761 --> 00:31:02,601 Stop! Stop! Stop! 379 00:31:02,667 --> 00:31:06,608 No! No... 380 00:31:06,675 --> 00:31:10,014 (crying): No, no, no... 381 00:31:12,554 --> 00:31:15,291 Oh, Sam. 382 00:31:16,027 --> 00:31:18,097 (breathing heavily) 383 00:31:23,609 --> 00:31:26,213 ♪♪ ♪♪ 384 00:31:34,731 --> 00:31:36,902 (panting) 385 00:31:57,877 --> 00:32:00,482 (lock clicking) 386 00:32:23,997 --> 00:32:25,499 (door opens) 387 00:32:29,474 --> 00:32:31,511 (whimpering) 388 00:32:45,606 --> 00:32:48,444 ♪♪ ♪♪ 389 00:33:14,463 --> 00:33:16,535 ♪♪ ♪♪ 390 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,258 ♪♪ ♪♪ 391 00:34:08,237 --> 00:34:10,509 ♪♪ ♪♪ 392 00:34:38,699 --> 00:34:40,803 ♪♪ ♪♪ 393 00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,825 (door creaks) 394 00:34:57,302 --> 00:35:00,643 (keys jingling) 395 00:35:02,780 --> 00:35:04,182 (door creaks) 396 00:35:44,262 --> 00:35:47,202 SAM: "Dear children of Dr. Strauss, 397 00:35:47,268 --> 00:35:49,407 "I am writing to let you know the bad news 398 00:35:49,473 --> 00:35:51,912 "that your dad is dead. 399 00:35:51,979 --> 00:35:54,217 "He helped me a lot. 400 00:35:54,283 --> 00:35:57,990 "I know from him it's important for you Jews to have a body 401 00:35:58,057 --> 00:36:01,765 "when someone dies, so I put it where you can find it. 402 00:36:01,832 --> 00:36:05,205 "It's ten yards back in the trees 403 00:36:05,271 --> 00:36:09,479 "by the northwest entrance to Finch Ridge Preserve. 404 00:36:09,547 --> 00:36:13,487 I am enclosing a letter he left for you." 405 00:36:15,425 --> 00:36:18,264 ALAN: "Dear Shoshana and Ezra, 406 00:36:18,331 --> 00:36:21,470 "I love you both so much. 407 00:36:22,974 --> 00:36:26,882 "I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry it happened to me. 408 00:36:26,949 --> 00:36:30,388 "But here we are. 409 00:36:30,455 --> 00:36:33,762 "I want you to know I haven't suffered. 410 00:36:33,829 --> 00:36:36,868 "And I've had a lot of time to think. 411 00:36:36,935 --> 00:36:40,141 -"You know I like to do that. -(crying) 412 00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:44,550 "The two of you gave my life, and your mother's life, meaning. 413 00:36:44,617 --> 00:36:46,655 "All parents love their children, 414 00:36:46,722 --> 00:36:50,028 "but no one loved their kids more than we did. 415 00:36:50,095 --> 00:36:54,637 "You are extraordinary people. 416 00:36:54,704 --> 00:36:57,475 "I want you both to go forward without my death 417 00:36:57,543 --> 00:37:00,148 "defining your lives. 418 00:37:00,215 --> 00:37:04,223 "I also want to make sure that some of the conflicts we had 419 00:37:04,290 --> 00:37:08,698 "don't define how you remember our relationships either. 420 00:37:10,235 --> 00:37:14,677 "Shoshana, you and I and your mother had our issues, 421 00:37:14,744 --> 00:37:19,988 "but mostly it has been easy and full of caring. 422 00:37:20,054 --> 00:37:23,795 -"I thank you for that gift. -(sobbing) 423 00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:27,970 "You are the brightest, most extraordinary young woman 424 00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:29,941 "I can imagine. 425 00:37:30,008 --> 00:37:33,848 "In these dark times, I have thought about you 426 00:37:33,915 --> 00:37:36,487 "and your beautiful family constantly, 427 00:37:36,555 --> 00:37:42,566 "and it has given me joy, pride and solace. 428 00:37:44,470 --> 00:37:46,774 "Ezra, my dear son, 429 00:37:46,841 --> 00:37:50,917 "you are a bright light in this world. 430 00:37:50,983 --> 00:37:55,826 "We both know it hasn't been such smooth sailing between us. 431 00:37:55,893 --> 00:37:57,964 "And your mother. 432 00:37:58,031 --> 00:38:00,368 "I have spent a lot of time thinking back on everything 433 00:38:00,435 --> 00:38:03,975 "that happened, and I see things now 434 00:38:04,042 --> 00:38:07,950 "that I was unable to grasp when they were happening. 435 00:38:08,017 --> 00:38:11,758 "I want you to know that I understand now 436 00:38:11,825 --> 00:38:14,597 "everything you said to me. 437 00:38:14,664 --> 00:38:17,269 "You were right. Mostly. 438 00:38:17,336 --> 00:38:22,613 "I was judgmental, I didn't accept you for who you were, 439 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,652 "and worst of all, I allowed your mother 440 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,155 "to take the blame for this, 441 00:38:27,222 --> 00:38:31,898 "when I was as much at fault as anyone. 442 00:38:31,965 --> 00:38:33,768 "More. 443 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:41,049 "I want you to know that I see this and I'm sorry. 444 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,857 "Through it all, I always loved you. 445 00:38:44,924 --> 00:38:47,664 "And I want you to know how very much 446 00:38:47,730 --> 00:38:51,871 "I respect who you are and the choices you've made. 447 00:38:51,938 --> 00:38:56,748 "You've built a beautiful family and a beautiful life. 448 00:38:56,815 --> 00:39:02,025 You are a special and truly wonderful person." 449 00:39:02,092 --> 00:39:04,497 (sniffles) 450 00:39:07,503 --> 00:39:10,375 (sighs) 451 00:39:10,441 --> 00:39:12,981 A little meshuggener, maybe. 452 00:39:13,047 --> 00:39:14,951 (laughs softly) 453 00:39:29,212 --> 00:39:31,818 ♪♪ ♪♪ 454 00:39:36,460 --> 00:39:38,130 (gate creaks) 455 00:40:01,009 --> 00:40:03,715 SAM: I think I really changed. 456 00:40:03,782 --> 00:40:06,420 The therapy worked. 457 00:40:07,189 --> 00:40:09,159 I'm not going to do it again. 458 00:40:11,163 --> 00:40:15,706 I am never going to hurt anyone again. 459 00:40:18,512 --> 00:40:20,816 That's not true. 460 00:40:20,882 --> 00:40:24,022 You're going to do it again. 461 00:40:24,089 --> 00:40:26,694 We both know it. 462 00:40:32,940 --> 00:40:35,011 ♪♪ ♪♪ 463 00:40:50,976 --> 00:40:54,650 Mom! Can you come down here?! 464 00:41:18,532 --> 00:41:20,802 (door opens) 465 00:41:47,990 --> 00:41:50,094 ♪♪ ♪♪ 466 00:42:14,142 --> 00:42:17,081 ♪♪ ♪♪ 467 00:42:35,184 --> 00:42:37,255 ♪♪ ♪♪ 468 00:42:43,669 --> 00:42:45,105 Did you know him? 469 00:42:45,171 --> 00:42:47,075 Not personally. 470 00:42:47,142 --> 00:42:49,814 I have colleagues who were students of his. 471 00:42:49,881 --> 00:42:51,918 And I read his book. 472 00:42:51,985 --> 00:42:54,723 You know, I never read it. 473 00:42:55,792 --> 00:42:58,865 I don't even have a copy. 474 00:42:58,932 --> 00:43:01,605 Although, I think I'm about to inherit 475 00:43:01,671 --> 00:43:03,942 like three boxes of them. 476 00:43:04,009 --> 00:43:08,217 I think one of the sections is on parenting. 477 00:43:08,284 --> 00:43:10,321 Huh. 478 00:43:10,387 --> 00:43:12,793 I guess I should read it. 479 00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:18,203 So, how are you getting along? 480 00:43:21,611 --> 00:43:24,650 What happened was... 481 00:43:31,965 --> 00:43:35,438 I'm just worried for my kids. 482 00:43:35,506 --> 00:43:38,545 And my wife. 483 00:43:38,612 --> 00:43:40,949 And my sister. 484 00:43:44,189 --> 00:43:45,992 What about you? 485 00:43:47,830 --> 00:43:51,303 It's been hard, but I'm okay. 486 00:43:56,681 --> 00:44:00,387 Do you want to tell me a little more about yourself, Ezra? 487 00:44:01,958 --> 00:44:06,534 I'm... I'm not sure where to start. 488 00:44:06,601 --> 00:44:09,372 Really anywhere's okay. 489 00:44:23,167 --> 00:44:25,237 ♪♪ ♪♪ 490 00:44:27,442 --> 00:44:29,713 I... 491 00:44:31,049 --> 00:44:34,355 ("You Want It Darker" by Leonard Cohen plays) 492 00:44:46,413 --> 00:44:50,822 ♪♪ If you are the dealer, I'm out of the game ♪♪ 493 00:44:50,889 --> 00:44:55,398 ♪♪ If you are the healer, it means I'm broker than lame ♪♪ 494 00:44:55,465 --> 00:45:00,509 ♪♪ If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame ♪♪ 495 00:45:00,576 --> 00:45:03,080 ♪♪ You want it darker ♪♪ 496 00:45:03,147 --> 00:45:06,186 ♪♪ We kill the flame ♪♪ 497 00:45:12,799 --> 00:45:15,638 ♪♪ Magnified, sanctified ♪♪ 498 00:45:15,705 --> 00:45:17,676 ♪♪ Be the holy name ♪♪ 499 00:45:17,743 --> 00:45:19,981 ♪♪ Vilified, crucified ♪♪ 500 00:45:20,048 --> 00:45:22,318 ♪♪ In the human frame ♪♪ 501 00:45:22,385 --> 00:45:23,989 ♪♪ A million candles burning ♪♪ 502 00:45:24,055 --> 00:45:26,694 ♪♪ For the help that never came ♪♪ 503 00:45:26,761 --> 00:45:29,299 ♪♪ You want it darker ♪♪ 504 00:45:34,844 --> 00:45:38,084 ♪♪ Hineni, hineni ♪♪ 505 00:45:38,151 --> 00:45:40,187 ♪♪ I'm ready, my Lord ♪♪ 506 00:45:48,838 --> 00:45:52,278 (vocalizing) 507 00:45:52,345 --> 00:45:54,382 ♪♪ ♪♪ 508 00:46:11,316 --> 00:46:13,487 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH