1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,133
[rock music playing]
2
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[rock drumbeat playing]
3
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- ["Groove is in the Heart" intro plays]
- We're going to sing and have some fun...
4
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["Groove is in the Heart"
by Deee-Lite playing]
5
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♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
6
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♪ Grooving in the heart ♪
7
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You smell good.
8
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Oh, it is the Hellmann's.
9
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[car door shuts]
10
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Was that a car door?
11
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- [music stops]
- [car door shuts]
12
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That was a car door. I got it. I got it!
13
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I got it! I got it!
14
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I got it! I got it! I got it!
15
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Oh my God. Mom, I didn't even knock.
16
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[chuckles]
17
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[Kitty coos]
18
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Mom.
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Mom, you're motorboating me.
20
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Dad.
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Son.
22
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Hug?
23
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[both] Nah.
24
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Hey, Grandma. Hey, Grandpa.
25
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Leia. My grandbaby.
26
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Hey, kiddo.
Boy, you sure have gotten tall.
27
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Oh, and congratulations.
Those buds are blooming.
28
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Yours... look good too?
29
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Why, I bet you're a holy terror
on the basketball court.
30
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I hear you got your mom's jump shot
and your dad's
31
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last name.
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- I'm gonna take a bathroom break.
- Hey, hey, hey.
33
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Just be careful with the faucets.
The water comes out, like, scalding hot.
34
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It's a normal temperature, Eric.
35
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You've just got that sensitive baby skin.
36
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You know,
37
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I am so excited
about this Fourth of July weekend.
38
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We are gonna grill weenies,
watch the fireworks...
39
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I even rented The Little Mermaid.
40
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Oh. Thanks, Mom,
but she's not really into that anymore.
41
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Our little mermaid... got her period.
42
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- [Kitty gasps]
- God, Eric!
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[thudding]
44
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Don't worry, honey. I got it.
45
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[rock music playing]
46
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[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
47
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Who wants a warm snickerdoodle?
48
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I do. It's a little weird
that you're smelling my hair, Mom.
49
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I haven't seen you since Christmas,
so I will smell you however I want,
50
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and you're fine with it.
51
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:36,489
So, Donna, Eric sent us
the review of your new book.
52
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We read it.
53
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Oh, you read my book?
54
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No, the review.
55
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Thanks, Mrs. F.
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Aww...
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- I wish you'd call me Mom, you know?
- I know.
58
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Okay.
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Someday.
60
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This weekend.
61
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So, Eric, how are things
at the university?
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Going great. I'm an adjunct professor now,
63
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which means I got
a permanent parking space
64
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for my bicycle.
65
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That's what happens
when your course is super popular, Dad.
66
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"The Religion of Star Wars"?
67
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Oh yeah.
68
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This country's gonna lose the next war.
69
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:13,902
Not if it's an intergalactic battle
between good and evil.
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Hey, I'm gonna go shoot some hoops.
71
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,717
Hey, Leia, tell your grandparents
what we're doing this summer.
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00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,575
Oh, we're going to...
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We're going to Huntsville, Alabama,
for a little father-daughter Space Camp.
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Just the two of us... for two weeks.
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[imitates radio static]
Houston, permission to have fun, over.
76
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,296
[imitates static]
Houston, do you read me, over?
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- [imitates static] Permission granted.
- [laughs] Yeah!
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But you... you didn't say "over."
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- Mom?
- Okay, Leia, go shoot some baskets.
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I don't need you
to see your dad get any nerdier.
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Space Camp.
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00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,563
Do you get to put on
a Buck Rogers costume?
83
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,025
Nah. Only if you buy
the Command Module experience.
84
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[whispers] Which I did!
85
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,697
Leia doesn't seem like she wants to go.
86
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I think she might be
at that age where she needs space.
87
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I'm giving her space... camp.
88
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,667
- Space Camp.
- Eric's having a hard time with Leia.
89
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,919
It's a tough age... 38.
90
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Okay. Okay.
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All I know is that I'm going to love her
and stand behind her, no matter what.
92
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That is a great idea.
93
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Because when you stand
behind your kids, it's easier...
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[all] To put your foot in their ass.
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We got it, Dad. Thanks.
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[hip-hop beat playing]
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[young woman] ♪ And I'm here ♪
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♪ To remind you ♪
99
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♪ Of the mess you left
When you went away ♪
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♪ It's not fair ♪
101
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♪ To deny me ♪
102
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♪ Of the cross I bear
That you gave to me ♪
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♪ You, you, you oughta know! ♪
104
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Hello.
105
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What are you doing, creeper?
106
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Oh, nothing weird! [laughs]
107
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I was just standing outside your window
and watching you sing
108
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,768
and wondering
what it would be like to... be you.
109
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,438
I'll go now. [gasps]
110
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Unless you want to hear
a cool bootleg I got in Chicago.
111
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,775
Oh, I'm listening.
112
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Yeah, it's, uh, pretty major.
113
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Big-time bootleg.
114
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The bootiest of legs.
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Just go get it.
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On it.
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Please be here when I get back.
118
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["Sad Tomorrow" by The Muffs playing]
119
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So this was your mom's old room,
and your dad lived next door?
120
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I bet they boned in here all the time.
121
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Explains a lot.
122
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Sometimes,
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late at night,
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when everything's quiet,
125
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I can still hear the...
126
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,434
[imitates mattress creaking]
127
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,688
Sorry. I love making people
feel uncomfortable.
128
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You're really good at it. [scoffs]
129
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Anyway, tell me about Chicago.
What are you into?
130
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Me? Uh, a lot of stuff.
131
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School.
132
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School's a big one.
133
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,788
And I'm a pretty big deal in Debate Club.
134
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,728
That's not up for debate. [chuckles]
135
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Yeah, I'm not popular.
136
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Good.
137
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Popular people suck.
138
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Yeah, they really do.
139
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Ooh, this part's dope.
140
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[volume increases]
141
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Damn it, Gwen!
142
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Turn that crap down. I'm trying to shave.
143
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,478
Older brother. Different dads. He's cool.
144
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,980
Mostly 'cause he has a van,
and he's fun to mess with.
145
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,066
- Watch this.
- [volume increases]
146
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,027
Seriously, Gwen. I almost nicked my nerps.
147
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,072
This whiny vagina music is bumming me out!
148
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,782
- [music stops]
- Oh yeah, Nate?
149
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,868
Me and my new friend are gonna
start a band and call it Whiny Vagina.
150
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,955
I'm gonna start a band
and call it That's Stupid.
151
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,332
Nice.
152
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,919
[music resumes loudly]
153
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[Nate] Damn it, Gwen!
154
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I love having the house full again.
155
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,510
It just... It fills me with joy.
156
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,221
And then you leave, and it's sad.
157
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,057
And then winter comes.
158
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,060
And I visit Mom's grave.
159
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,314
And I tell her how much fun it was
when the house was full.
160
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,195
- So can I have the syrup now?
- Oh, of course.
161
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,197
Morning. Bye.
162
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,533
Whoa. What the hell is that thing
in your nose?
163
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,616
Uh, a nose ring?
164
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,911
Your move, baby skin.
165
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,999
- How did this happen?
- Gwen gave it to me.
166
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,710
Oh! Okay, it was Gwen.
Cool. I didn't know it was Gwen.
167
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,003
Question before you leave.
168
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,589
Who is Gwen, and why is she
poking holes in your perfect face?
169
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,010
She lives next door,
which is where I'm going right now.
170
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,429
- Are her parents home?
- No, but her older brother is.
171
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,348
Honey, you're really
not helping your case.
172
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,060
Dad, I'll be 20 feet away.
173
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,456
Okay, you can go, but you have to be
home in time for fireworks.
174
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,481
- Okay?
- I'll try.
175
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,441
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
176
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,609
As Master Yoda said...
177
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:05,818
- Why?
- [Red grumbles]
178
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:10,865
As Master Yoda said,
"Do or do not. There is no try."
179
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:15,286
Master Yoda was a puppet from a fake
world with some guy's hand up his butt.
180
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,706
Now you're just being hurtful.
181
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,708
Ah, teenagers!
182
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,293
I feel for you, son.
183
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,296
But, on the other hand,
184
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,840
payback's a bitch.
185
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:31,886
[rock music playing]
186
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,640
Uno.
187
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,311
I think you're only allowed
to drop one card.
188
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,395
Excuse me?
189
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,857
Cool basement.
190
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:45,941
It's a dump.
191
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,194
No offense.
192
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,155
Ozzie and I met last year in detention.
193
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,323
Tell her what you did.
194
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,076
I told my math teacher
his wife was cheating on him.
195
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,078
She was making out with some dude at IHOP.
196
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,121
- That's horrible.
- [Ozzie] I know.
197
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,456
IHOP.
198
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,916
Show some class.
199
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,084
[running footsteps]
200
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,045
You're not gonna believe what happened.
It's the best thing ever!
201
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,756
That's what you said
when the McRib came back.
202
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,466
I thought it was gone forever, Nik.
203
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,468
Aww! You were scared?
204
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,804
Oh, babe.
205
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,394
Hey, new girl.
206
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,939
Hey, boy. [chuckles]
207
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,899
Man...?
208
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,237
I don't know how
the whole puberty thing is going for you.
209
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,697
Probably great. [chuckles]
210
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,574
Leia, this is Jay.
211
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,786
Please place all your zippers and buttons
in their upright and locked positions.
212
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:42,582
Hey, not cool, Gwen. I'm just doing
a little get-to-know-you chitchat.
213
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,833
So,
214
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,003
are you spiritual?
215
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,337
I am.
216
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,049
You're making a face.
217
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,135
But that would have worked on me.
218
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,138
Can I tell my awesome story now?
219
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,849
So we were just chilling in my van.
220
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,269
- Why does he always get to sit in front?
- I called shotgun.
221
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,896
- But I'm your girlfriend.
- Yeah, but he's my best friend.
222
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,317
- Bro.
- Bro.
223
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,360
Bro.
224
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,113
Bro.
225
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,284
Oh my God. I turned down a senior for you.
226
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,495
I'm sorry, babe,
but you're both important to me.
227
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,748
But Jay's had my back
for the past 12 years,
228
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,293
and you've had my front
for the last six months. I can't choose.
229
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,463
Hey. Are you here to pick up the keg
from Mama's Discount Liquors?
230
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,091
- Yes.
- Yes.
231
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,426
And you prepaid, right?
232
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,220
- Yes.
- Yes.
233
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,430
Sweet.
234
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,810
Happy Fourth.
235
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,149
- Bro!
- Bro!
236
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,567
- Bro.
- Bro.
237
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,027
- Bro. Bro!
- Bro. Bro!
238
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:53,986
- Bro!
- Bro.
239
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:54,987
- Bro.
- Bro.
240
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,697
They were like this the whole ride.
241
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,868
Come on, babe.
It's a Fourth of July miracle.
242
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,203
With beer!
243
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,956
Why are we still talking?
Let's tap that keg and get stupid!
244
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,667
- Yeah.
- Oh no.
245
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,211
We don't have a tap.
246
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,673
And, without a tap,
the beer is... is trapped.
247
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,386
- Would a kiss make it better?
- Not unless you have a mouth full of beer.
248
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,098
- Do you?
- No, I don't.
249
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,559
[rock music playing]
250
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,271
This feels weird.
251
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,692
Very different.
252
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,027
Well, I'm having fun.
253
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,781
Why is it so smoky?
254
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,325
Oh God, the popcorn!
255
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,995
Enjoying yourselves, kids?
256
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,040
You're upstairs people now.
257
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,918
I knew it would happen.
258
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,753
Just not this soon.
259
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,049
Quit worrying, Eric. Leia will be fine.
260
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,343
So now you can tell the future?
261
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,929
Where were you when I bought
those slippery brown shoes?
262
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,931
I couldn't get up the ramp at the airport.
263
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,099
[Donna] Okay, Eric.
264
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,395
No more Zima for you.
265
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,898
Yeah, you're right. I'm... I'm flying.
266
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,609
I saved most of it.
267
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,861
Ah. Thanks, Mom.
268
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,820
"Mom."
269
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,157
You see how easy it is, Donna?
270
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,744
Can't you just say it?
271
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,830
Nah. Feels forced.
272
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,082
Come on, Mom, just drop it.
273
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:31,958
Nah.
274
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,586
Feels forced.
275
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,176
[rock music playing]
276
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,344
Kids versus beer.
277
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,722
It's a tale as old as time.
278
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,809
It happened to our parents
and our parents' parents.
279
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,269
The kids on the Mayflower.
280
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,356
Ozzie. You're killing me, man.
I'm trying to think here.
281
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,484
I know. I can smell it.
282
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,530
Wait, why can't we just
go back to Mama's and get a tap?
283
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,658
We've all tried to buy from her,
but she's tough.
284
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,702
I mean, I even hit her with the,
285
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,121
"Hey, girl."
286
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,039
Nothing.
287
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,127
- What if we get a laser?
- We're not getting a laser.
288
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,214
Well, I guess that's it.
We tried everything.
289
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,549
You said one idea, and it was stupid.
290
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,633
You're stupid!
291
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,595
You're all stupid!
You hate beer and you hate America.
292
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,971
- Baby?
- Yeah?
293
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,556
Are you feeling frustrated?
294
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,474
Yeah.
295
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,894
- Is this why you're lashing out at others?
- Yeah.
296
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:37,525
How about tomorrow we go into the woods,
and I watch you do karate on a tree?
297
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,859
- I'd really like that.
- Oh.
298
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,987
Are you dill weeds finished?
299
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,324
Leia, you should buy the tap.
Mama doesn't know you.
300
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,201
Oh yeah. You totally could.
301
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:50,120
Plus, your eyes are crazy pretty,
which won't really help get the tap,
302
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,789
but it's something I noticed.
303
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,750
- Hey, girl.
- [scoffs]
304
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,587
Leia, it would be so badass.
305
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,340
I guess I have done
some pretty crazy things.
306
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,301
One time at the beach,
a seagull stole my sandwich,
307
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:08,055
and, under my breath,
I... called her "bitch."
308
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,309
You know what? I'm in.
309
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,478
All right. New girl is sick.
310
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,105
- To the van!
- Pause.
311
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,774
This isn't gonna work.
312
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,443
I'm pretty sure OshKosh B'gosh here
is gonna get carded.
313
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:23,988
Good point.
314
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,073
I have an idea.
315
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,956
You sure you want to be drinking
in your condition, hon?
316
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,457
Oh, it's... [nervous chuckle]
317
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,961
It's for my husband.
He... He got a keg for the baby shower.
318
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,380
Oh, fancy.
319
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,590
[register beeping]
320
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,968
- That'll be $39.50.
- Okay.
321
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,559
I'm no lady doctor, but I think
something's wrong with the baby.
322
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,186
Nice try.
323
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,480
I'm sick of you kids.
I'm calling the cops.
324
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,483
Put the phone down, Mama.
325
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,693
Shut up.
326
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,570
Fine, but when the cops get here,
327
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:08,240
how are you gonna explain to them
why you gave a keg to a bunch of kids?
328
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,909
It wasn't me. It was Wade.
329
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:10,992
Mama!
330
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,539
Either way, you lose your liquor license.
331
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:20,961
So put the phone down, sell me the tap,
and we all have a nice Fourth of July.
332
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,050
What are you, some sort of lawyer?
333
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,303
Debate Club.
First place, junior regionals.
334
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,013
It was over before it started.
335
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,389
[gasps]
336
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:36,602
[rock music playing]
337
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,313
To Leia, the Mama slayer!
338
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,773
[all] To Leia!
339
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,317
And to Mrs. Zapolski. [chuckles]
340
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,111
My Debate Club coach,
for pushing me so damn hard.
341
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,489
[all] To Mrs. Zapolski!
342
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,327
Wow. Look, Nik, a shooting star.
Make a wish.
343
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,745
That's a firework, babe.
344
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,148
[fireworks whistling and popping]
345
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,792
Man, you were such a badass tonight.
I didn't know you had it in you.
346
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:04,254
Neither did I, but I love this feeling.
347
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:08,968
I feel free and happy.
Wish I could stay for the summer.
348
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,136
Then stay.
349
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,305
[snickers] My dad will never let me.
350
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,599
When my parents split up,
351
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,478
the school shrink basically told me
that everything was gonna suck forever,
352
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,357
and I was like, "Nope. Not this girl."
353
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,402
So I went home, bleached my hair
over the washing machine,
354
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,071
cut up my jeans
and decided that this is my life,
355
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,489
and it's never gonna suck.
356
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,827
This is gonna sound so dorky,
357
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:38,247
but... I'm interested in
us becoming best friends,
358
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,707
so how do we make that happen?
359
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:41,792
Stay for the summer.
360
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,337
And you can drop the dorky disclaimer.
It's implied.
361
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,421
[chuckles]
362
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,257
Oh great.
363
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,968
Now she's missed the fireworks
and the weenies.
364
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:55,305
Now they're sitting on a plate
all cold and shriveled just like my heart.
365
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,933
Oh, Eric.
366
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,269
The hair thing,
it's still a little weird, Mom.
367
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,415
Know what the worst part is?
I should be treasuring time with Leia.
368
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,066
Instead, I mean,
I... can't wait for it to end.
369
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,985
Oh, sweetie.
370
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,987
It ends when you die.
371
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,784
Leia Tatooine Forman.
372
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,329
- Her middle name is Anne.
- Know what? I never agreed to that.
373
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,332
Where have you been?
Oh my God. Is that beer?
374
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,419
Yeah. And I spilled the rest
coming down the water tower.
375
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,671
The... water tower? What the hell?
376
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,089
Eric, let me handle this.
377
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,799
The water tower? What the hell?
378
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,302
Now, this is my kind of fireworks.
379
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,097
Yes, the water tower.
380
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:40,017
And I had a great time
and I don't want it to end.
381
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,394
So I know you're not
gonna like me saying this,
382
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,980
but... I want to stay in Point Place
for the summer.
383
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,983
This is my life,
and I'm done letting it suck.
384
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,276
- Leia.
- Yeah, go.
385
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,403
Just unload, baby. Both barrels. Go.
386
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,032
- That took courage. I'm impressed.
- What?!
387
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,950
Th-This is a ridiculous idea.
388
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,369
- Leia.
- Mom, just go, preach.
389
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,498
You are welcome to stay here
if that's what you want.
390
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,249
Oh my God! What's happening?
391
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,333
Kitty.
392
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,712
I guess that's what we want.
393
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,133
Dad, you guys always talk about
394
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,219
the amazing times
you had with your friends.
395
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,262
I want that. I want amazing.
396
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,264
Listen, pal. In the space of one day,
397
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,017
you've gotten pierced, you've gotten beer,
and you've gotten
398
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,311
extremely snippy.
399
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,272
You've turned into someone
that I don't know anymore.
400
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,024
So no. You know what? You can forget it.
401
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,859
I knew you were gonna be like this.
402
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,962
I'm not getting in that car tomorrow!
You can't make me!
403
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,614
Oh, you're getting in that car
or my foot is getting in your ass!
404
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,620
- Oh, Eric.
- So bad.
405
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,207
I have never been prouder.
406
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:50,170
It's like watching you hit
your first home run.
407
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,589
If you had ever done that.
408
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:57,344
[soft guitar music playing]
409
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,263
[crickets chirping]
410
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,182
You okay?
411
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,393
I can't believe it.
412
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,187
I study Star Wars my entire life,
and in my moment of truth,
413
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,523
I turn into my evil father.
414
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:13,986
I've thought about it.
415
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,781
Leia staying isn't the craziest idea.
Your parents can watch her.
416
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,700
Were you not here with me in the '70s?
417
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,410
They are not the best watchers.
418
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,662
She's a great kid.
419
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:26,832
Yeah, I know.
420
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,167
We can trust her.
421
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,293
I know.
422
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,044
So what, then?
423
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,296
I just...
424
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,174
I mean, I can't stand this feeling.
She doesn't need me anymore.
425
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,510
I mean, she was my little buddy,
and now she's like
426
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,596
a stranger.
427
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:44,308
She's not a stranger.
She's just... growing up.
428
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,560
I don't like it.
429
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,688
What? But you're so good
at hiding your emotions.
430
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,023
[both chuckle]
431
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,610
Eric, it's gonna be okay.
432
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:56,820
We have our whole lives
433
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,323
because your parents
gave us the space to find each other.
434
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,409
Really?
435
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:05,913
You lived 20 feet away. I'm pretty sure
we would have found each other.
436
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,792
[soft guitar music playing]
437
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,802
Hey.
438
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,638
What?
439
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,891
- Oh, what happened to the nose ring?
- It was a magnet.
440
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,976
I sneezed and it went down the drain.
441
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,061
Ah.
442
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,980
Well, I'm... I'm heartbroken.
443
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,399
Back when I was your age,
444
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,860
my friends and I pretty much
lived down in this basement.
445
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:41,073
We'd kill time, listen to music,
do... other things.
446
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:46,119
Sitting on those stairs right there
when I fell in love with your mom.
447
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,456
Oh God. Did you do it on those stairs too?
448
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,539
No.
449
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:54,878
No.
450
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,757
Look, I've been thinking about it, and...
451
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,303
You should stay... for the summer.
452
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,473
- Are you for real?
- Yeah.
453
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:11,395
If anyone deserves some... amazing,
it's you.
454
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,774
Oh my God, Dad. Thank you.
Sorry I was kind of a jerk.
455
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,151
Well, you were
surprisingly good at it. [chuckles]
456
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:20,737
But, you know, you're...
457
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,738
You're good at everything.
458
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:28,829
I'll miss you, pal.
459
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,581
I love you so much, okay?
460
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,334
[sighs softly]
461
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,003
Are you smelling my hair?
462
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,421
No.
463
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,632
'Cause that would be weird.
464
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,677
[sniffs] Okay.
465
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:47,556
[soft rock music playing]
466
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:54,062
So just remember
our phone number hasn't changed, okay?
467
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,774
Don't worry, honey. I got it.
468
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,400
Again.
469
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:01,570
Okay, babe.
470
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,073
My baby boy.
471
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,909
Oh, uh... Mom.
472
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,745
Shh!
473
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,872
I'm listening to your heartbeat.
474
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166
Look. Okay.
475
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:20,881
[Donna coos]
476
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:22,632
Love you, Le-Le.
477
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:23,716
Bye, Mom.
478
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,888
Don't worry. We're gonna have fun.
479
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,306
You ever cleaned an oven?
480
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:31,433
Good luck.
481
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:35,187
And one more thing, Leia.
This one's... really important.
482
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:38,607
With your new friends, I want you
to hang out in Grandpa's basement
483
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,192
as much as possible.
484
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,361
No. Uh-uh. No way.
485
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,154
It is the safest place for her.
486
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:47,240
That's right, Mom. That's so right.
487
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,950
Nicely played, son.
488
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,327
I learned from the best.
489
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,870
Nobody likes an ass-kisser.
490
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,206
I love you too, Dad.
491
00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,585
Bye, Mom.
492
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,215
She said "Mom."
493
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,343
I win.
494
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,721
That's why you don't mess with a pro.
495
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:15,143
[rock music playing]
496
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,771
Well, I have to make a shopping list.
497
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,606
The kids are gonna want snacks.
498
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,441
Don't feed them, Kitty.
499
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,819
That's how it started the first time.
500
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,571
Hey. Me and my friends
are going up to the lake.
501
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,655
[Red] Hold on.
502
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:30,117
- Who are you?
- I'm Jay.
503
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,953
- Jay Kelso.
- No!
504
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,038
Uh-uh!
505
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,164
No way!
506
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,375
Buuuurn!
507
00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:43,296
Ahh!
508
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,757
See you met my boy here, huh?
Look at this guy. Look at him.
509
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,301
Look, he's got his dad's looks
and his mom's brains.
510
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,719
Straight A's last year.
511
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,888
Sweet Lord, it's evolving.
512
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,014
[Kelso chuckles]
513
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,809
Hey, you kids. You have fun now, okay?
514
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:58,061
Oh, and if you jump off that cliff,
515
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,187
do it naked.
516
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,731
Okay? 'Cause when you hit the water
at the right angle,
517
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,275
it's like doing it with a lake.
518
00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:08,697
Hello, Michael.
519
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:09,656
Hey, girl.
520
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,491
[Kitty giggles]
521
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:13,285
Beautiful! [yells, laughs]
522
00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:14,661
[Kitty laughs]
523
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:19,666
- Well, that felt... toned and warm.
- [Kelso] Oh.
524
00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:22,084
So, Red,
525
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:25,672
we need to talk about your granddaughter's
intentions with my boy.
526
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,801
No, I'm just kidding ya.
Come on. Let's hug it out.
527
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,136
What do you think?
528
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,472
Michael, let's go!
529
00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:36,056
Hi, Kitty.
530
00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:40,020
Damn, Jackie, will you just
give me a minute to enjoy this?
531
00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,103
Oh my God.
532
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:44,107
The vein on Red's forehead
is about to explode.
533
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:49,488
Gross! I don't want old guy blood
all over my wedding outfit.
534
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,906
You're getting married?
535
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,407
Remarried.
536
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,409
- Yeah, it's our second remarriage.
- Mm-hmm.
537
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:57,537
- This one's gonna stick, right?
- Yeah.
538
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:00,707
Jackie.
539
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,958
White, honey?
540
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,836
Really?
541
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,838
It's before Labor Day.
542
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,467
And, if people think it's our first time,
we'll get better gifts.
543
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:14,095
Oh! FYI, we're registered
at Bloomingdale's,
544
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,222
and I will judge.
545
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,724
- Let's go, Michael!
- Oh God!
546
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:22,354
[Kitty exclaims, giggles]
547
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:23,437
[chuckles]
548
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:28,693
Well, let's just make the best of it.
549
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,278
I am heading to the market
550
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:34,783
'cause I'm going to get Fritos,
Tostitos, Doritos. All the "itos."
551
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,493
I am back, baby!
552
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,251
Son of a bitch.
553
00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:47,754
[rock music playing]
554
00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,550
Okay, kids, the basement is all yours.
555
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,344
Lights on, shirts on, and no dancing.
556
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:55,512
[Leia laughs]
557
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:58,139
No dancing.
You're like the guy from Footloose.
558
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:01,476
No dancing, you guys.
559
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:06,481
Babe, you can fit three of your basements
in this basement.
560
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,526
That sounds like a lot of work, Nik.
561
00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:11,319
Let's just use this basement.
562
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:15,073
Don't you love all this old furniture?
563
00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,577
Yeah, all we need are some throw pillows
and a tetanus shot.
564
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:22,956
Mrs. Forman, your home is so warm
and inviting.
565
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:26,710
I mean, I can't wait to spend
all summer inside of it. [chuckles]
566
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,921
What is wrong with you?
567
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,592
Anyway... Okay.
568
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:39,681
Now, if you kids get bored, I found
some old records and games of your dad's,
569
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:43,018
and a few magazines
that I don't think he wanted me to see,
570
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,561
but I got rid of them.
571
00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:45,812
They were all redheads.
572
00:26:45,895 --> 00:26:47,689
[scoffs] He sure has a type!
573
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,734
Anyhoo, you guys have fun.
574
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:57,824
Whoa, this must be from a Nintendo Zero.
575
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,454
No way.
576
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,206
Your grandma just hooked us up.
577
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:07,334
- No way.
- Hell yeah.
578
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,627
Totally.
579
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:09,710
[laughs]
580
00:27:10,253 --> 00:27:11,253
What is it?
581
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,132
Best summer ever!
582
00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:15,550
[all laughing]
583
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,843
Sign me up!
584
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:19,596
But seriously, what is it?
585
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:23,391
[rock music playing]
586
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,517
One, two, three, four!
587
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,813
It's the summer. Let's have fun.
We should do whatever we want. Right?
588
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:29,981
Wrong.
589
00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:32,442
- [Leia] You know what I want?
- Don't say Jay.
590
00:27:32,525 --> 00:27:33,526
Jay.
591
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,947
- You are banned from this house. Get out.
- No!
592
00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:41,576
Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!
593
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:42,535
Where is she?
594
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,080
Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was?
595
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,415
Let's just say you're lucky you exist.
596
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,793
Hey, which one of you yelled at my kids?
597
00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:52,170
I don't know which ones are yours,
but they deserved it.
598
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,089
That's Gwen and Nate, and thanks.
599
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,965
I was pregnant with him for ten months.
600
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,635
The doctor said it was okay,
but I don't think it was.
601
00:27:58,718 --> 00:28:02,263
I think you might be having
a reaction to one of my Lip Smackers.
602
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:03,764
Really?
603
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,103
- I want to come out to your grandmother.
- I have an interview tomorrow.
604
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:11,439
- [Nikki] Do you have any references?
- Oh, my bosses all loved me.
605
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,523
But they are dead.
606
00:28:12,982 --> 00:28:15,068
[rock music continues]
607
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,237
[Ozzie] I'm gaaaay!
608
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:19,948
I said, good day.
609
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:21,533
[all cheering]
610
00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:24,244
[rock music playing]