1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,216
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,969
So... how was last night?
3
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,221
Did you break up with your boyfriend?
4
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,973
Aren't you just dying to know?
5
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,225
Oh, I'm on pins and needles.
6
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:18,309
[Kitty laughs]
7
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,605
Well, he took me
to one of those fancy places
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,107
where you order at the table.
9
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,904
Wow!
10
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,283
He spoils you. [chuckles]
11
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,909
Well, he can afford it.
12
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,996
I don't know if I mentioned this,
but he's kind of a local celebrity.
13
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,372
Is it Gary Storm?
14
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,625
The weather guy on Channel 2 news?
I love his bow ties.
15
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,503
Gary Storm died in a tornado.
16
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,590
You're thinking of Johnny Thunder.
17
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,052
Oh my God! You're dating Johnny Thunder?
18
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,138
No, no. My guy's not a weatherman.
19
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:58,433
He's got a bunch of salons.
You may have seen his commercials.
20
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:01,394
[electronic dance music playing]
21
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,028
Where's the hair?
22
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:10,945
There's the hair.
23
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,030
There's the hair.
24
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,115
Where's the hair?
25
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,450
There's the hair.
26
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:16,451
There's the hair.
27
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:17,577
There's the hair.
28
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,162
Explosion.
29
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,331
[booming]
30
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,503
[Fez] Chez Fez, where every day
is a good hair day.
31
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I said, good day.
32
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,342
You're dating Fez?
33
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,552
You know Fez?
34
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,639
Oh, we know Fez.
35
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:40,225
- [rock music playing]
- [young woman] One, two, three, four!
36
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,310
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
37
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,270
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
38
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:48,566
♪ Not a thing to do but talk to you ♪
39
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,818
♪ We're all all right! ♪
40
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,277
♪ We're all all right! ♪
41
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,905
[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
42
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,579
Do they know you guys are here?
43
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,664
Oh, they don't care.
44
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,290
They're in the zone.
45
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,917
Nothing breaks it.
46
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,502
Watch this.
47
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:15,343
How can she kiss my brother?
His dentist quit in the middle of an exam.
48
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,803
[Ozzie] Guys.
49
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,014
I got too close, and now I'm stuck in it.
50
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,560
We've all been there.
51
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,523
When you're in the middle of
a make out session,
52
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,813
and you're in the moment.
53
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,648
And your lips just melt together.
54
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,943
And his tongue hits the hangy thing
in the back of your throat
55
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,862
and it feels so good.
56
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,445
What?
57
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,532
The... uvula.
58
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,326
The U-spot? [chuckles]
59
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,453
Leia, have you ever kissed anyone?
60
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,164
Never. Not once.
61
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,915
It's just never happened, okay?
62
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,418
In sixth grade, I was a foot taller
than all the other boys.
63
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:52,088
And just when they got up to mouth level,
I did two years of advanced braces.
64
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,423
Like headgear?
65
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,133
It was so much worse.
66
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,969
There was a crank
my parents had to tighten every night.
67
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,722
It was like starting an old-timey car.
68
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,057
Well, it was worth it.
69
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,560
You have such a beautiful smile.
70
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,020
Do you ever take a day off?
71
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,064
I wanna kiss someone.
72
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,941
I think about it all the time.
73
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,402
What's it like?
74
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,655
Okay. This is an emergency.
75
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,449
We need to get you your first kiss.
76
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,784
Let's go to the mall and knock this out.
77
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,120
The mall?
Oh, don't make me start on a mannequin.
78
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,830
That's so embarrassing!
79
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,333
No. It's full of guys.
80
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:32,712
We'll find some goober, chat him up,
show him your teeth, lay one on him.
81
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,132
I don't want my first kiss
to be with a goober.
82
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,217
You're right.
83
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,094
We should just wait until
you're confident enough,
84
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,597
emotionally ready, secure in who you are...
85
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,766
Okay, okay! Mall.
86
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,936
Summer of our first kiss. Right, Ozzie?
87
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,855
Don't lump me in with you,
you mouth virgin.
88
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,441
I have Etienne.
89
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:57,779
Bro, I wanna support you, but you gotta
stop with the fake Canadian boyfriend.
90
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,197
Oh, he's real as hell.
91
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,410
My parents took me
to see Phantom of the Opera in Montreal.
92
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,622
And I met the cutest guy... Etienne.
93
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,335
We were both reaching for
the last kids' XL souvenir sweatshirt.
94
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,711
And he let me keep it.
95
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,129
We've never seen the sweatshirt.
96
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,300
Whatever. You wouldn't know romance
if it threw acid in your face,
97
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,145
forcing you into a life of solitude,
composing the music of the night.
98
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,847
God, I hope he's real.
99
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,435
When did you guys get here?
100
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,480
We were making out. [chuckles]
101
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,775
[rock music playing]
102
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,695
Fez was one of Eric's friends.
103
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,156
He started out
as a foreign exchange student, but...
104
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:46,536
then I guess someone forgot
to exchange him back.
105
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,039
Where is he from?
106
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:55,253
[kettle whistling loudly]
107
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,714
I hear it's just lovely there.
108
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:03,928
So, what did he say when you told him
you didn't wanna see him anymore?
109
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,055
I didn't get that far.
110
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,890
I mean, I tried.
111
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,685
I told him it was over, and he said...
112
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,479
Over, under. I don't care. [chuckles]
113
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,280
I'm flexible, baby.
114
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,159
So I said,
"I'm trying to focus on myself."
115
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,494
I understand!
116
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,791
And I'd like to watch you.
Watch you focus on yourself.
117
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,837
And then I said, "We gotta
act like adults here. We gotta talk."
118
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:38,921
I can't.
119
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,677
My mouth is full.
120
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,475
He sucked off two of my Lee Press Ons.
121
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:55,855
Well...
122
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:58,274
He's got a strong tongue. That's fine.
123
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:03,112
No. He really is a lovely guy,
and he obviously likes you.
124
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,114
Maybe see where it goes.
125
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,992
Kitty, I really took
all that advice you gave me to heart.
126
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,413
I need to stop jumping from guy to guy
and focus on myself for a while.
127
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,042
Darn it. That was good advice.
128
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,838
I don't know what to do.
Normally, when I break up with a guy,
129
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,091
I just tell the parole officer
to check his pee,
130
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,717
and it takes care of itself, you know?
131
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,139
Why don't I go talk to him?
Maybe I can let him down easy.
132
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:34,185
Oh good. 'Cause if I do it,
I'm definitely gonna sleep with him again.
133
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,688
What? I was trying to focus on myself,
134
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,525
and last night myself wanted
to have sex with that guy, so...
135
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,026
[electronic dance music playing]
136
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,821
Welcome back to Chez Fez.
137
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:45,822
[chuckles]
138
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,033
It's always an honor
to have your hair in my chair.
139
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,243
[Kitty laughs]
140
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,661
Well, I love coming here.
141
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,955
I'm always so happy
to see how well you're doing.
142
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:57,250
I mean, free Tootsie Rolls.
Are you made of money?
143
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,627
Yes. Can you believe it?
144
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,131
I tell you, Ms. Kitty. I love my life.
145
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,884
My business is booming.
I have the waist of Linda Evangelista.
146
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,013
And, as you know,
147
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,141
I have taken a lover.
148
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:15,852
Actually,
149
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,563
I wanted to talk to you about Sherri.
150
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,065
Oh yeah. She's so beautiful, right?
151
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,860
She's warm and gooey,
like a chicken pot pie.
152
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:25,820
Uh-huh.
153
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,657
- But...
- Oh, and don't get me started on her butt.
154
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:30,783
[laughs]
155
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,578
It's like the eighth
and ninth Wonder of the World.
156
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,791
[sighs] Ms. Kitty, I haven't felt this way
about a woman since, uh...
157
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,836
- Jackie.
- [gasps]
158
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:42,962
Yes!
159
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,298
Whatever happened between you two?
160
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:46,591
Oh, Ms. Kitty!
161
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,930
We were at Hedonism Resort.
162
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,099
In Hamaica.
163
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,561
And I caught her on the phone one night...
164
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,229
[dramatic gasp]
165
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,940
...with Michael.
166
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,026
Kelso?
167
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,194
Dukakis.
168
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,778
Yes, of course Kelso!
169
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,908
She left me there.
170
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,621
And I spent the next five days
getting kicked out of hot tubs
171
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,206
for talking too much.
172
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,751
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
173
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,337
Oh, but that is the past.
174
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,881
And Sherri is my future.
175
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,425
You know, Ms. Kitty,
176
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,930
when I'm with her... I'm no longer a man.
177
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,391
I'm like a little boy
seeing the world for the first time.
178
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,936
Don't get me wrong, I still have
179
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,064
the voice of a man and the... hips of a man
180
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,691
and, uh... the mouth of a man.
181
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:48,945
It's very confusing.
182
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,659
But when I hold her in my arms...
183
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,370
Oh, Ms. Kitty.
184
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,832
It's like the world just melts away...
185
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,586
and there's only us,
186
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,421
for eternity.
187
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,634
I'm sorry, Ms. Kitty.
What were you saying?
188
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:12,843
I was saying...
189
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,055
- I love love!
- Oh!
190
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,350
Don't ever let her go!
191
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:23,646
[funky rock music playing]
192
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,481
Thanks for the ride, Grandpa.
193
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,943
Any time you kids wanna
get out of my house, I'll drive you.
194
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,570
This shouldn't take too long.
195
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,946
You guys need anything?
196
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,447
A miracle.
197
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,490
Fine.
198
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,994
I'll be right over here, reading my paper.
199
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,836
You have great taste.
200
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,213
This is the new ionic massage chair.
201
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:53,175
- Let me show you some of the features.
- Look. I know you're just doing your job.
202
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,678
But go do it over there.
203
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,806
Any place that's not here.
204
00:09:58,889 --> 00:09:59,974
[chortles]
205
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:03,102
You are gonna have to do
better than that to get rid of me.
206
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:04,645
[chuckles]
207
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,106
It's got variable speeds,
Corinthian leather,
208
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:11,485
and if you turn that frown upside-down,
I'll throw in same-day delivery.
209
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,239
I'm about to same-day deliver
your ass into that planter if you...
210
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,490
[chair whirring]
211
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,367
Oh...
212
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,662
Sweet Lord.
213
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:25,166
This chair's got fingers!
214
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,961
All I need is, like, a credit card.
215
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,256
Just make it happen.
216
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,926
I'm really nervous.
217
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,137
My back sweat's
being funneled right into my butt.
218
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,973
That's just your body
getting ready for romance.
219
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,185
You're cute, you're smart,
and you're awesome. You can do this.
220
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,188
It's a total sausage fest.
221
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,399
Yeah, look at all these guys.
222
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,194
No. Hickory Farms is giving out
free samples.
223
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,154
Etienne loves a nice smoked Gouda.
224
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,950
- Fine. If he's real, what's his last name?
- St. Bernard.
225
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,494
- What school?
- St. Bernard's.
226
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,496
- Does he have any pets?
- Bichon Frisé.
227
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,289
Wait. That reminds me.
228
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,292
I've given CPR to a dog.
Does that count as a kiss?
229
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,171
- Go. You got this!
- ["This Is How We Do It" playing]
230
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,423
I'd like two scoops. Of you.
231
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,425
I'm sorry.
232
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,554
Hey, sexy. You eatin' grapes?
233
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,765
Yeah, because he's nine.
234
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,102
I'm so sorry. My dad has that shirt!
235
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,186
[sighs]
236
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,318
Ma'am, you are not allowed
behind the counter.
237
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,277
I don't care anymore.
238
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,905
Now put down the scooper,
and let's do this.
239
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,950
You don't have to make this so difficult!
240
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,035
Got away. [scoffs]
241
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,872
- Okay!
- You kids need to leave.
242
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,291
You don't happen
to have a son my age, do you?
243
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,212
So it went well?
244
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,215
No. Let's go. Where's Gwen?
245
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,926
Gwen, let's bounce.
246
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,554
Gwen!
247
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,349
Bye, Kevin. That was fun.
248
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,892
Best day of my life.
249
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,185
Calm down, Kevin.
250
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,269
Okay.
251
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,311
Seriously?
252
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,856
One of us had to get some.
253
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:16,444
[hip-hop beat playing]
254
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:20,906
Babe, I think you might be having
a reaction to one of my Lip Smackers.
255
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,700
Really?
256
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:23,826
I feel fine.
257
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,414
Yeah, it looks fine.
258
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,877
That was a disaster.
And I'm on a list now, so I can't go back.
259
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,880
- What if I need new shoes?
- What do you mean, "what if"?
260
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,216
Whoa, gross.
261
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,469
Why does your mouth
look like a monkey's ass?
262
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,137
A monkey's ass?
263
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,432
Like, in a good or bad way?
264
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,351
Come on. We should probably
get you to the urgent care.
265
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,686
You said it wasn't bad.
266
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,773
I was just comfortable,
and I didn't wanna get up.
267
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,693
Oh my God. I'm at the mall
throwing myself at randos.
268
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,488
Meanwhile, they're making out so much,
his lips revolted.
269
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,072
What's wrong with me?
270
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,617
Doesn't anyone want
to lick these $2,000 teeth?
271
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,369
Wow. Okay.
272
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,165
Well, there is another idea,
but I didn't wanna bring it up
273
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,501
because it feels
kinda weird and desperate.
274
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,085
I think we're there.
275
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:17,880
You could kiss Jay.
276
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,382
He's cute. He's always flirting with you.
277
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,052
Plus, he's a Kelso.
278
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,553
So? What does that mean?
279
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,138
He's a man-whore.
280
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:27,890
Oh. [chuckles]
281
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,893
As great as that sounds, I'm gonna pass.
282
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,146
Plus, he's our friend. It's too awkward.
There's gotta be someone else.
283
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,607
There's always Town Pool Ricky.
284
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,485
Oh great, a lifeguard. That's hot.
285
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,613
No, he just hangs out
and collects the floating Band-Aids.
286
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,658
But he's single and ready to mingle.
287
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,576
At least that's what his shirt says.
288
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:49,954
So Jay?
289
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:51,705
Jay, it is.
290
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,335
Red, I'm not sure
about this massage chair.
291
00:13:56,418 --> 00:14:00,047
We said we wouldn't change anything
in case one of us went blind.
292
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:01,590
[chair whirring]
293
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,884
I'm sorry, gorgeous.
294
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:10,891
The last thing I wanna do
is stress you out or upset you.
295
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,895
Are you feeling okay?
296
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,730
I'm awesome.
297
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,148
[knocking]
298
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:21,485
Kitty, you did a terrible job with Fez.
299
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,904
He told me he loved me.
What did you say to him?
300
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:28,325
I... I'm an older lady.
I can't recall the exact words.
301
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,996
Kitty. He talked about a life together.
He started crying.
302
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,748
Then he got his mom on the phone.
She started crying.
303
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,500
Honey.
304
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,252
Sherri's here.
305
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,965
I know she is. I'm not sure you are.
306
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,967
Good one, babe.
307
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,761
[laughs]
308
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:51,765
I'm sorry. I just... I got...
I got swept up in the moment.
309
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,309
He's so sweet.
310
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:58,731
And his words sound like
a romance novel that I barely understand.
311
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,151
What am I gonna do?
This guy is undumpable.
312
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,111
Well, clearly, I can't hack it.
313
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,322
We need someone who is just ruthless.
314
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,115
Who will go straight for the jugular.
315
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:09,992
An ax murderer.
316
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,121
Red, honey?
317
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,167
Should we get a cat?
318
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:24,548
Just something warm to have right here,
319
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,551
while I'm... chillin'.
320
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,597
Chair, I need to talk to the real Red.
321
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:33,766
[whirring stops]
322
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,059
Damn it, Kitty!
323
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,354
Did you have to pull the plug?
324
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:44,234
That's exactly why I don't put your name
on those papers at the hospital.
325
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,448
There's our ax murderer.
326
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,369
[rock music playing]
327
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,080
Hey, you.
328
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,999
Where is everyone? I thought
we're meeting up here before bowling.
329
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,711
Oh, the bowling alley's closed.
They ran out of balls.
330
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,381
Come sit.
331
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,882
Okay.
332
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,718
Look at that sky.
333
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,138
The stars are so bright, and the moon is
334
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,932
also bright.
335
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,185
I never thought of it like that.
336
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,355
Kind of romantic, don't you think?
337
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,943
Whoa, you can see
right into that old lady's bathtub.
338
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,570
Oh, she's crying.
339
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,573
I think her husband just died.
340
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,790
- Leia?
- Yeah?
341
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:41,917
I know what's going on here.
342
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,501
Oh good. Gimme a sec.
343
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:45,713
Okay, I'm back.
344
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,052
Leia.
345
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,470
I'm not going to kiss you.
346
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,097
What?
347
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,183
Not even you?
Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.
348
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,476
I'll be in here now.
349
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,147
Hey, stop. Don't be embarrassed.
350
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,774
Look. I think you're great.
351
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,236
You're cute and smart and interesting.
352
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,488
Really?
353
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,200
Yeah.
354
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,412
That's why I don't think we should kiss.
355
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:20,831
Look.
356
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,668
Leia, I just don't want to be
some meaningless hookup.
357
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,003
You know?
358
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:30,299
Like, if it's gonna happen,
I want it to just happen.
359
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,343
And I want it to be amazing.
360
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,139
Okay, that was really nice.
361
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:39,757
You sure you don't wanna kiss?
362
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,895
Because my back sweat is
really telling me it's time for romance.
363
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,108
Let's just see where the summer takes us.
364
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,569
Who knows?
365
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,237
It might be somewhere really special.
366
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,327
[exhales sharply]
367
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:02,122
[rock music playing]
368
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,458
Hello, Mr. Red.
369
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:05,542
Oh.
370
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,128
Fez, you're here. Good.
371
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,298
Look.
372
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,635
There's no easy way to say this.
373
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,012
It's over.
374
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,101
Oh no.
375
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,062
That's terrible.
376
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:28,982
How long do you have left?
377
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,198
- What?
- Don't worry, Mr. Red.
378
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,075
I'll take care of Ms. Kitty
when you're gone.
379
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,370
In every possible way.
380
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,708
I'm talking about you and Sherri.
381
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,211
The two of you are over.
382
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:50,796
What?
383
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,170
What are you talking about?
384
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,343
Is this a joke?
385
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,303
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
386
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,429
Sherri's dumping you.
387
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,183
That's not funny.
388
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,146
Chin up, kid.
389
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,897
You gave it your best shot.
390
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,108
Look at me!
391
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,197
Look me in the eyes
if you're going to rip my heart out!
392
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:23,287
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Red.
I shouldn't have raised my voice.
393
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,332
But I saw a life for us.
394
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,544
Holidays, travel, dying of an old age
395
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,714
while making love so we could be
buried together like a pretzel.
396
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:36,425
Tough break.
397
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:37,885
Yeah. Really tough.
398
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,471
Everything else in my life
has lined up perfectly.
399
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,474
But the most important part,
someone to share it with...
400
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,476
it's missing.
401
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,232
Here's the thing, kid.
402
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,194
You're weird.
403
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:01,408
But, one day, you're gonna find
someone who loves that.
404
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:08,707
Besides, were you really ready for
the responsibility of a woman with kids?
405
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,291
She has kids?
406
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,672
It shouldn't be shocking
that a woman in her forties has kids.
407
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,049
She's in her forties?!
408
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,428
Whew!
Really dodged a bullet there. [chuckles]
409
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,263
[rock music playing]
410
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,182
I still can't believe Jay didn't kiss you.
411
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:29,061
It's so weird. Even though things didn't
turn out like I wanted, I'm not worried.
412
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,824
Kind of excited for what's next, you know?
413
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,439
I so do.
414
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,840
I just feel like a brand-new woman.
415
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,878
I can't wait to see
what's on the horizon for me...
416
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,489
Mom. Thanks for the ride, but could you
go get your groove back somewhere else?
417
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:44,451
Okay, okay. I'll go find myself
at Contempo Casual.
418
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,997
So what's the plan?
Just wait around for Jay?
419
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,350
If he wanted me to wait for around him,
420
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,753
he shouldn't have told me
how cute and smart and interesting I am.
421
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,296
You dork.
422
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,420
I've been telling you all along
how awesome you are,
423
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,526
but it took some guy to say it
for it all to sink in.
424
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:01,551
No.
425
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,008
Yeah, that's what happened.
426
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,807
Whatever. I like the new confident Leia.
427
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:07,891
Me too.
428
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,851
Actually, I'll be right back.
429
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,246
- ["Shoop" playing]
- ♪ Hey, yeah ♪
430
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,272
♪ I wanna shoop, baby ♪
431
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,529
♪ Damn, that sounds sexy ♪
432
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,698
♪ Here I go, here I go, here I go again ♪
433
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,117
- ♪ Girls, what's my weakness?
- ♪ Men! ♪
434
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,412
♪ Okay then, chillin', chillin'
Mindin' my business ♪
435
00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,723
♪ Yo, Salt, I looked around
And I couldn't believe this ♪
436
00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:33,041
♪ I swear, I stared, my niece my witness ♪
437
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,585
♪ The brother had it goin' on
With somethin' kinda ♪
438
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:38,255
♪ Wicked, wicked, had to kick it ♪
439
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,716
♪ I'm not shy so I asked for the digits ♪
440
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,175
♪ A ho? No, that don't make me ♪
441
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,886
♪ See what I want
Slip slide to it swiftly ♪
442
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,597
♪ Felt it in my hips so I dipped
Back to my bag of tricks ♪
443
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:50,767
♪ Then I flipped for a tip
Make me wanna do tricks for him ♪
444
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:53,478
♪ Makes me wanna shoop, shoop, shoop ♪
445
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,023
["Shoop" chorus playing]
446
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:03,989
[song fades out]
447
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,574
Bonjour, Etienne.
448
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,453
[in French] I miss you too.
449
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,374
What do you mean
your friends don't think I'm real?
450
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,630
It's the same thing
with these gauche Americans.
451
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,720
[laughing jauntily]
452
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,890
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.
453
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,601
Yes.
454
00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,312
[somberly] Yes.
455
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,941
[rock music playing]