1 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,854 -We're going to sing and have some fun… 2 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,292 You smell good. 3 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,000 Oh, it is the Hellmann's. 4 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,620 Was that a car door? 5 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,921 That was a car door. I got it. I got it! 6 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:46,923 I got it! I got it! 7 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,585 I got it! I got it! I got it! 8 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,724 Oh my God. Mom, I didn't even knock. 9 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,507 Mom. 10 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,267 Mom, you're motorboating me. 11 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,273 Dad. 12 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,600 Son. 13 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,515 Hug? 14 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,107 Nah. 15 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,269 Hey, Grandma. Hey, Grandpa. 16 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,647 Leia. My grandbaby. 17 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,276 Hey, kiddo. Boy, you sure have gotten tall. 18 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,834 Oh, and congratulations. Those buds are blooming. 19 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,290 Yours… look good too? 20 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:23,208 Why, I bet you're a holy terror on the basketball court. 21 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,801 I hear you got your mom's jump shot and your dad's 22 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:27,878 last name. 23 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,126 -I'm gonna take a bathroom break. -Hey, hey, hey. 24 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:36,467 Just be careful with the faucets. The water comes out, like, scalding hot. 25 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,814 It's a normal temperature, Eric. 26 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,890 You've just got that sensitive baby skin. 27 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,442 You know, 28 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:49,072 I am so excited about this Fourth of July weekend. 29 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:52,570 We are gonna grill weenies, watch the fireworks… 30 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,414 I even rented The Little Mermaid. 31 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,199 Oh. Thanks, Mom, but she's not really into that anymore. 32 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,663 Our little mermaid… got her period. 33 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,374 -God, Eric! 34 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,874 Don't worry, honey. I got it. 35 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,387 Hello, Wisconsin! 36 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,893 Who wants a warm snickerdoodle? 37 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:25,345 I do. It's a little weird that you're smelling my hair, Mom. 38 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,016 I haven't seen you since Christmas, so I will smell you however I want, 39 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,858 and you're fine with it. 40 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:36,493 So, Donna, Eric sent us the review of your new book. 41 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,493 We read it. 42 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,834 Oh, you read my book? 43 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,618 No, the review. 44 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,160 Thanks, Mrs. F. 45 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,366 Aww… 46 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:47,375 -I wish you'd call me Mom, you know? -I know. 47 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,498 Okay. 48 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,496 Someday. 49 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,957 This weekend. 50 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,466 So, Eric, how are things at the university? 51 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,840 Going great. I'm an adjunct professor now, 52 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,007 which means I got a permanent parking space 53 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,256 for my bicycle. 54 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,772 That's what happens when your course is super popular, Dad. 55 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,731 "The Religion of Star Wars"? 56 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,191 Oh yeah. 57 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,521 This country's gonna lose the next war. 58 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:13,897 Not if it's an intergalactic battle between good and evil. 59 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,158 Hey, I'm gonna go shoot some hoops. 60 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,658 Hey, Leia, tell your grandparents what we're doing this summer. 61 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,581 Oh, we're going to-- 62 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,658 We're going to Huntsville, Alabama, for a little father-daughter Space Camp. 63 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,501 Just the two of us… for two weeks. 64 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,962 Houston, permission to have fun, over. 65 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,302 Houston, do you read me, over? 66 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,176 -Permission granted. -Yeah! 67 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,642 But you… you didn't say "over." 68 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,009 -Mom? -Okay, Leia, go shoot some baskets. 69 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,016 I don't need you to see your dad get any nerdier. 70 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,678 Space Camp. 71 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,559 Do you get to put on a Buck Rogers costume? 72 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,027 Nah. Only if you buy the Command Module experience. 73 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:55,775 Which I did! 74 00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,698 Leia doesn't seem like she wants to go. 75 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:03,201 I think she might be at that age where she needs space. 76 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,794 I'm giving her space… camp. 77 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,669 -Space Camp. -Eric's having a hard time with Leia. 78 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,920 It's a tough age… 38. 79 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,212 Okay. Okay. 80 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:19,215 All I know is that I'm going to love her and stand behind her, no matter what. 81 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,010 That is a great idea. 82 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:25,348 Because when you stand behind your kids, it's easier-- 83 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,021 To put your foot in their ass. 84 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,390 We got it, Dad. Thanks. 85 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:00,968 Hello. 86 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,393 What are you doing, creeper? 87 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,759 Oh, nothing weird! 88 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,176 I was just standing outside your window and watching you sing 89 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,765 and wondering what it would be like to… be you. 90 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,436 I'll go now. 91 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,441 Unless you want to hear a cool bootleg I got in Chicago. 92 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,784 Oh, I'm listening. 93 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,489 Yeah, it's, uh, pretty major. 94 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,570 Big-time bootleg. 95 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,118 The bootiest of legs. 96 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:25,914 Just go get it. 97 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,872 On it. 98 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,620 Please be here when I get back. 99 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:36,752 So this was your mom's old room, and your dad lived next door? 100 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,628 I bet they boned in here all the time. 101 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:41,883 Explains a lot. 102 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,755 Sometimes, 103 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:44,973 late at night, 104 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,216 when everything's quiet, 105 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,387 I can still hear the… 106 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,687 Sorry. I love making people feel uncomfortable. 107 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,767 You're really good at it. 108 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,284 Anyway, tell me about Chicago. What are you into? 109 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,282 Me? Uh, a lot of stuff. 110 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,740 School. 111 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,787 School's a big one. 112 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,791 And I'm a pretty big deal in Debate Club. 113 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,708 That's not up for debate. 114 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,002 Yeah, I'm not popular. 115 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,500 Good. 116 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:19,706 Popular people suck. 117 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,668 Yeah, they really do. 118 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,046 Ooh, this part's dope. 119 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:28,805 Damn it, Gwen! 120 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,348 Turn that crap down. I'm trying to shave. 121 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,483 Older brother. Different dads. He's cool. 122 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,981 Mostly 'cause he has a van, and he's fun to mess with. 123 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,074 -Watch this. 124 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,029 Seriously, Gwen. I almost nicked my nerps. 125 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,071 This whiny vagina music is bumming me out! 126 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,775 -Oh yeah, Nate? 127 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,865 Me and my new friend are gonna start a band and call it Whiny Vagina. 128 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,962 I'm gonna start a band and call it That's Stupid. 129 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,329 Nice. 130 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,252 Damn it, Gwen! 131 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,339 I love having the house full again. 132 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,505 It just… It fills me with joy. 133 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,224 And then you leave, and it's sad. 134 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,062 And then winter comes. 135 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,062 And I visit Mom's grave. 136 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,311 And I tell her how much fun it was when the house was full. 137 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,198 -So can I have the syrup now? -Oh, of course. 138 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,196 Morning. Bye. 139 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,531 Whoa. What the hell is that thing in your nose? 140 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,486 Uh, a nose ring? 141 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,910 Your move, baby skin. 142 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,002 -How did this happen? -Gwen gave it to me. 143 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,712 Oh! Okay, it was Gwen. Cool. I didn't know it was Gwen. 144 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,003 Question before you leave. 145 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,586 Who is Gwen, and why is she poking holes in your perfect face? 146 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,014 She lives next door, which is where I'm going right now. 147 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,433 -Are her parents home? -No, but her older brother is. 148 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,352 Honey, you're really not helping your case. 149 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,057 Dad, I'll be 20 feet away. 150 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,396 Okay, you can go, but you have to be home in time for fireworks. 151 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,441 -Okay? -I'll try. 152 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,443 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 153 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,614 As Master Yoda said-- 154 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:05,822 -Why? 155 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:10,872 As Master Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try." 156 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:15,288 Master Yoda was a puppet from a fake world with some guy's hand up his butt. 157 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,714 Now you're just being hurtful. 158 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,709 Ah, teenagers! 159 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,291 I feel for you, son. 160 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,303 But, on the other hand, 161 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,843 payback's a bitch. 162 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,470 Uno. 163 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,306 I think you're only allowed to drop one card. 164 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,404 Excuse me? 165 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,860 Cool basement. 166 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:45,781 It's a dump. 167 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,194 No offense. 168 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,158 Ozzie and I met last year in detention. 169 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,319 Tell her what you did. 170 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,076 I told my math teacher his wife was cheating on him. 171 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,079 She was making out with some dude at IHOP. 172 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,121 -That's horrible. -I know. 173 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,455 IHOP. 174 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,920 Show some class. 175 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,047 You're not gonna believe what happened. It's the best thing ever! 176 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,758 That's what you said when the McRib came back. 177 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,469 I thought it was gone forever, Nik. 178 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,470 Aww! You were scared? 179 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,795 Oh, babe. 180 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,234 Hey, new girl. 181 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,944 Hey, boy. 182 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,729 Man…? 183 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,239 I don't know how the whole puberty thing is going for you. 184 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,700 Probably great. 185 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,567 Leia, this is Jay. 186 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,794 Please place all your zippers and buttons in their upright and locked positions. 187 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:42,579 Hey, not cool, Gwen. I'm just doing a little get-to-know-you chitchat. 188 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,673 So, 189 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:46,998 are you spiritual? 190 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,167 I am. 191 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,053 You're making a face. 192 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,143 But that would have worked on me. 193 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,138 Can I tell my awesome story now? 194 00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,848 So we were just chilling in my van. 195 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,269 -Why does he always get to sit in front? -I called shotgun. 196 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,902 -But I'm your girlfriend. -Yeah, but he's my best friend. 197 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,318 -Bro. -Bro. 198 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,359 Bro. 199 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,112 Bro. 200 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,278 Oh my God. I turned down a senior for you. 201 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,495 I'm sorry, babe, but you're both important to me. 202 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,749 But Jay's had my back for the past 12 years, 203 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,291 and you've had my front for the last six months. I can't choose. 204 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,456 Hey. Are you here to pick up the keg from Mama's Discount Liquors? 205 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,090 -Yes. -Yes. 206 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,425 And you prepaid, right? 207 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,216 -Yes. -Yes. 208 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,434 Sweet. 209 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,730 Happy Fourth. 210 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,153 -Bro! -Bro! 211 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,570 -Bro. -Bro. 212 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,031 -Bro. Bro! -Bro. Bro! 213 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:53,990 -Bro! -Bro. 214 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:54,990 -Bro. -Bro. 215 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,701 They were like this the whole ride. 216 00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,865 Come on, babe. It's a Fourth of July miracle. 217 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,199 With beer! 218 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,956 Why are we still talking? Let's tap that keg and get stupid! 219 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,670 -Yeah. -Oh no. 220 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,211 We don't have a tap. 221 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,671 And, without a tap, the beer is… is trapped. 222 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,385 -Would a kiss make it better? -Not unless you have a mouth full of beer. 223 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,101 -Do you? -No, I don't. 224 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,265 This feels weird. 225 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,686 Very different. 226 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,034 Well, I'm having fun. 227 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,779 Why is it so smoky? 228 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,329 Oh God, the popcorn! 229 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,002 Enjoying yourselves, kids? 230 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,035 You're upstairs people now. 231 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,917 I knew it would happen. 232 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,749 Just not this soon. 233 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,050 Quit worrying, Eric. Leia will be fine. 234 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,338 So now you can tell the future? 235 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,927 Where were you when I bought those slippery brown shoes? 236 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,932 I couldn't get up the ramp at the airport. 237 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,104 Okay, Eric. 238 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,404 No more Zima for you. 239 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,904 Yeah, you're right. I'm… I'm flying. 240 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,608 I saved most of it. 241 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,863 Ah. Thanks, Mom. 242 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,650 "Mom." 243 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,155 You see how easy it is, Donna? 244 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,742 Can't you just say it? 245 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,828 Nah. Feels forced. 246 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,081 Come on, Mom, just drop it. 247 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:31,878 Nah. 248 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,586 Feels forced. 249 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,343 Kids versus beer. 250 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,715 It's a tale as old as time. 251 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,806 It happened to our parents and our parents' parents. 252 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,273 The kids on the Mayflower. 253 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,360 Ozzie. You're killing me, man. I'm trying to think here. 254 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,480 I know. I can smell it. 255 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,528 Wait, why can't we just go back to Mama's and get a tap? 256 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,664 We've all tried to buy from her, but she's tough. 257 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,702 I mean, I even hit her with the, 258 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,120 "Hey, girl." 259 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:10,869 Nothing. 260 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,134 -What if we get a laser? -We're not getting a laser. 261 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,206 Well, I guess that's it. We tried everything. 262 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,547 You said one idea, and it was stupid. 263 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,593 You're stupid! 264 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,595 You're all stupid! You hate beer and you hate America. 265 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,968 -Baby? -Yeah? 266 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,555 Are you feeling frustrated? 267 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,470 Yeah. 268 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,887 -Is this why you're lashing out at others? -Yeah. 269 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:37,529 How about tomorrow we go into the woods, and I watch you do karate on a tree? 270 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,858 -I'd really like that. -Oh. 271 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,988 Are you dill weeds finished? 272 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,321 Leia, you should buy the tap. Mama doesn't know you. 273 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,197 Oh yeah. You totally could. 274 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:50,124 Plus, your eyes are crazy pretty, which won't really help get the tap, 275 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,794 but it's something I noticed. 276 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,747 -Hey, girl. 277 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,589 Leia, it would be so badass. 278 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,341 I guess I have done some pretty crazy things. 279 00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,303 One time at the beach, a seagull stole my sandwich, 280 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:08,055 and, under my breath, I… called her "bitch." 281 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,311 You know what? I'm in. 282 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,483 All right. New girl is sick. 283 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,112 -To the van! -Pause. 284 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,768 This isn't gonna work. 285 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,438 I'm pretty sure OshKosh B'gosh here is gonna get carded. 286 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:23,987 Good point. 287 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,072 I have an idea. 288 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,962 You sure you want to be drinking in your condition, hon? 289 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,459 Oh, it's… 290 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,961 It's for my husband. He… He got a keg for the baby shower. 291 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,377 Oh, fancy. 292 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,972 -That'll be $39.50. -Okay. 293 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,564 I'm no lady doctor, but I think something's wrong with the baby. 294 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,192 Nice try. 295 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,480 I'm sick of you kids. I'm calling the cops. 296 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,483 Put the phone down, Mama. 297 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,687 Shut up. 298 00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,566 Fine, but when the cops get here, 299 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:08,243 how are you gonna explain to them why you gave a keg to a bunch of kids? 300 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,914 It wasn't me. It was Wade. 301 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:10,872 Mama! 302 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,538 Either way, you lose your liquor license. 303 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:20,963 So put the phone down, sell me the tap, and we all have a nice Fourth of July. 304 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,054 What are you, some sort of lawyer? 305 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,303 Debate Club. First place, junior regionals. 306 00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,006 It was over before it started. 307 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,305 To Leia, the Mama slayer! 308 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,766 To Leia! 309 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,316 And to Mrs. Zapolski. 310 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,110 My Debate Club coach, for pushing me so damn hard. 311 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,485 To Mrs. Zapolski! 312 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,328 Wow. Look, Nik, a shooting star. Make a wish. 313 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,750 That's a firework, babe. 314 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,785 Man, you were such a badass tonight. I didn't know you had it in you. 315 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:04,252 Neither did I, but I love this feeling. 316 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:08,968 I feel free and happy. Wish I could stay for the summer. 317 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,135 Then stay. 318 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,310 My dad will never let me. 319 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,604 When my parents split up, 320 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,483 the school shrink basically told me that everything was gonna suck forever, 321 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,359 and I was like, "Nope. Not this girl." 322 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,400 So I went home, bleached my hair over the washing machine, 323 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,065 cut up my jeans and decided that this is my life, 324 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,494 and it's never gonna suck. 325 00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,826 This is gonna sound so dorky, 326 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:38,250 but… I'm interested in us becoming best friends, 327 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,710 so how do we make that happen? 328 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:41,792 Stay for the summer. 329 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,340 And you can drop the dorky disclaimer. It's implied. 330 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,264 Oh great. 331 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,970 Now she's missed the fireworks and the weenies. 332 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:55,311 Now they're sitting on a plate all cold and shriveled just like my heart. 333 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,926 Oh, Eric. 334 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,267 The hair thing, it's still a little weird, Mom. 335 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,361 Know what the worst part is? I should be treasuring time with Leia. 336 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,069 Instead, I mean, I… can't wait for it to end. 337 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,990 Oh, sweetie. 338 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,988 It ends when you die. 339 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,782 Leia Tatooine Forman. 340 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,330 -Her middle name is Anne. -Know what? I never agreed to that. 341 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,330 Where have you been? Oh my God. Is that beer? 342 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,416 Yeah. And I spilled the rest coming down the water tower. 343 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,672 The… water tower? What the hell? 344 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,085 Eric, let me handle this. 345 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,803 The water tower? What the hell? 346 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,303 Now, this is my kind of fireworks. 347 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,097 Yes, the water tower. 348 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:40,021 And I had a great time and I don't want it to end. 349 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,387 So I know you're not gonna like me saying this, 350 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,978 but… I want to stay in Point Place for the summer. 351 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,984 This is my life, and I'm done letting it suck. 352 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,277 -Leia. -Yeah, go. 353 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,399 Just unload, baby. Both barrels. Go. 354 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,030 -That took courage. I'm impressed. -What?! 355 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,945 Th-This is a ridiculous idea. 356 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,374 -Leia. -Mom, just go, preach. 357 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,503 You are welcome to stay here if that's what you want. 358 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,251 Oh my God! What's happening? 359 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,173 Kitty. 360 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,705 I guess that's what we want. 361 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,131 Dad, you guys always talk about 362 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,217 the amazing times you had with your friends. 363 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,262 I want that. I want amazing. 364 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,256 Listen, pal. In the space of one day, 365 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,018 you've gotten pierced, you've gotten beer, and you've gotten 366 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,313 extremely snippy. 367 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,268 You've turned into someone that I don't know anymore. 368 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,016 So no. You know what? You can forget it. 369 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,858 I knew you were gonna be like this. 370 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,903 I'm not getting in that car tomorrow! You can't make me! 371 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,606 Oh, you're getting in that car or my foot is getting in your ass! 372 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,616 -Oh, Eric. -So bad. 373 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,213 I have never been prouder. 374 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:50,172 It's like watching you hit your first home run. 375 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,586 If you had ever done that. 376 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,181 You okay? 377 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,387 I can't believe it. 378 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,186 I study Star Wars my entire life, and in my moment of truth, 379 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,521 I turn into my evil father. 380 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:13,988 I've thought about it. 381 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,776 Leia staying isn't the craziest idea. Your parents can watch her. 382 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,695 Were you not here with me in the '70s? 383 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,413 They are not the best watchers. 384 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,664 She's a great kid. 385 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:26,826 Yeah, I know. 386 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,165 We can trust her. 387 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,290 I know. 388 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,043 So what, then? 389 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,298 I just… 390 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,169 I mean, I can't stand this feeling. She doesn't need me anymore. 391 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,511 I mean, she was my little buddy, and now she's like 392 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,598 a stranger. 393 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:44,309 She's not a stranger. She's just… growing up. 394 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,556 I don't like it. 395 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,693 What? But you're so good at hiding your emotions. 396 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,613 Eric, it's gonna be okay. 397 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:56,817 We have our whole lives 398 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,324 because your parents gave us the space to find each other. 399 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,408 Really? 400 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:05,912 You lived 20 feet away. I'm pretty sure we would have found each other. 401 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,801 Hey. 402 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,637 What? 403 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,887 -Oh, what happened to the nose ring? -It was a magnet. 404 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,984 I sneezed and it went down the drain. 405 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,060 Ah. 406 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,980 Well, I'm… I'm heartbroken. 407 00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,403 Back when I was your age, 408 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,863 my friends and I pretty much lived down in this basement. 409 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:41,074 We'd kill time, listen to music, do… other things. 410 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:46,119 Sitting on those stairs right there when I fell in love with your mom. 411 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,460 Oh God. Did you do it on those stairs too? 412 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,499 No. 413 00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:54,877 No. 414 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,763 Look, I've been thinking about it, and… 415 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,303 You should stay… for the summer. 416 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,465 -Are you for real? -Yeah. 417 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:11,404 If anyone deserves some… amazing, it's you. 418 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,769 Oh my God, Dad. Thank you. Sorry I was kind of a jerk. 419 00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,147 Well, you were surprisingly good at it. 420 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:20,736 But, you know, you're… 421 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,698 You're good at everything. 422 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:28,833 I'll miss you, pal. 423 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,580 I love you so much, okay? 424 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,998 Are you smelling my hair? 425 00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,416 No. 426 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,625 'Cause that would be weird. 427 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,684 Okay. 428 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:54,061 So just remember our phone number hasn't changed, okay? 429 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,770 Don't worry, honey. I got it. 430 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,230 Again. 431 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:01,569 Okay, babe. 432 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,065 My baby boy. 433 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,914 Oh, uh… Mom. 434 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,753 Shh! 435 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,868 I'm listening to your heartbeat. 436 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,165 Look. Okay. 437 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:22,625 Love you, Le-Le. 438 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:23,626 Bye, Mom. 439 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,890 Don't worry. We're gonna have fun. 440 00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,311 You ever cleaned an oven? 441 00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:31,432 Good luck. 442 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:35,189 And one more thing, Leia. This one's… really important. 443 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:38,610 With your new friends, I want you to hang out in Grandpa's basement 444 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,190 as much as possible. 445 00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,355 No. Uh-uh. No way. 446 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,154 It is the safest place for her. 447 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:47,237 That's right, Mom. That's so right. 448 00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,954 Nicely played, son. 449 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,334 I learned from the best. 450 00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,870 Nobody likes an ass-kisser. 451 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,116 I love you too, Dad. 452 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,594 Bye, Mom. 453 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,216 She said "Mom." 454 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,335 I win. 455 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,721 That's why you don't mess with a pro. 456 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,767 Well, I have to make a shopping list. 457 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,614 The kids are gonna want snacks. 458 00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,439 Don't feed them, Kitty. 459 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,815 That's how it started the first time. 460 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,573 Hey. Me and my friends are going up to the lake. 461 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,485 Hold on. 462 00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:30,121 -Who are you? -I'm Jay. 463 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,946 -Jay Kelso. -No! 464 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,042 Uh-uh! 465 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,162 No way! 466 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,378 Buuuurn! 467 00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:43,295 Ahh! 468 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,760 See you met my boy here, huh? Look at this guy. Look at him. 469 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,301 Look, he's got his dad's looks and his mom's brains. 470 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,715 Straight A's last year. 471 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,893 Sweet Lord, it's evolving. 472 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,807 Hey, you kids. You have fun now, okay? 473 00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:58,062 Oh, and if you jump off that cliff, 474 00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,185 do it naked. 475 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,731 Okay? 'Cause when you hit the water at the right angle, 476 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,275 it's like doing it with a lake. 477 00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:08,704 Hello, Michael. 478 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:09,660 Hey, girl. 479 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:13,285 Beautiful! 480 00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:19,672 -Well, that felt… toned and warm. -Oh. 481 00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:21,924 So, Red, 482 00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:25,672 we need to talk about your granddaughter's intentions with my boy. 483 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,804 No, I'm just kidding ya. Come on. Let's hug it out. 484 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,135 What do you think? 485 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,472 Michael, let's go! 486 00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:35,966 Hi, Kitty. 487 00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:40,017 Damn, Jackie, will you just give me a minute to enjoy this? 488 00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,023 Oh my God. 489 00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:44,111 The vein on Red's forehead is about to explode. 490 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:49,494 Gross! I don't want old guy blood all over my wedding outfit. 491 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,911 You're getting married? 492 00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,409 Remarried. 493 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,411 -Yeah, it's our second remarriage. -Mm-hmm. 494 00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:57,542 -This one's gonna stick, right? -Yeah. 495 00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:00,712 Jackie. 496 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,960 White, honey? 497 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,838 Really? 498 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,840 It's before Labor Day. 499 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,469 And, if people think it's our first time, we'll get better gifts. 500 00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:14,100 Oh! FYI, we're registered at Bloomingdale's, 501 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,219 and I will judge. 502 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,715 -Let's go, Michael! -Oh God! 503 00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:28,691 Well, let's just make the best of it. 504 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,277 I am heading to the market 505 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:34,782 'cause I'm going to get Fritos, Tostitos, Doritos. All the "itos." 506 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,486 I am back, baby! 507 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,246 Son of a bitch. 508 00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,547 Okay, kids, the basement is all yours. 509 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,343 Lights on, shirts on, and no dancing. 510 00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:58,135 No dancing. You're like the guy from Footloose. 511 00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:01,483 No dancing, you guys. 512 00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:06,484 Babe, you can fit three of your basements in this basement. 513 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,529 That sounds like a lot of work, Nik. 514 00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:11,319 Let's just use this basement. 515 00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:15,066 Don't you love all this old furniture? 516 00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,576 Yeah, all we need are some throw pillows and a tetanus shot. 517 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:22,957 Mrs. Forman, your home is so warm and inviting. 518 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:26,709 I mean, I can't wait to spend all summer inside of it. 519 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,923 What is wrong with you? 520 00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,590 Anyway… Okay. 521 00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:39,675 Now, if you kids get bored, I found some old records and games of your dad's, 522 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:43,024 and a few magazines that I don't think he wanted me to see, 523 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,561 but I got rid of them. 524 00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:45,814 They were all redheads. 525 00:26:45,895 --> 00:26:47,685 He sure has a type! 526 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,730 Anyhoo, you guys have fun. 527 00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:57,817 Whoa, this must be from a Nintendo Zero. 528 00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,452 No way. 529 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,210 Your grandma just hooked us up. 530 00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:07,330 -No way. -Hell yeah. 531 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,627 Totally. 532 00:27:10,253 --> 00:27:11,093 What is it? 533 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,126 Best summer ever! 534 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,844 Sign me up! 535 00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:19,604 But seriously, what is it? 536 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,515 One, two, three, four! 537 00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,811 It's the summer. Let's have fun. We should do whatever we want. Right? 538 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:29,977 Wrong. 539 00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:32,435 -You know what I want? -Don't say Jay. 540 00:27:32,525 --> 00:27:33,525 Jay. 541 00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,948 -You are banned from this house. Get out. -No! 542 00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:41,581 Donna, it's Kitty! Your daughter is about to have sex! 543 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:42,540 Where is she? 544 00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,079 Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth as he says he was? 545 00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,417 Let's just say you're lucky you exist. 546 00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,786 Hey, which one of you yelled at my kids? 547 00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:52,166 I don't know which ones are yours, but they deserved it. 548 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,093 That's Gwen and Nate, and thanks. 549 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,972 I was pregnant with him for ten months. 550 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,639 The doctor said it was okay, but I don't think it was. 551 00:27:58,718 --> 00:28:02,258 I think you might be having a reaction to one of my Lip Smackers. 552 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:03,684 Really? 553 00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,099 -I want to come out to your grandmother. -I have an interview tomorrow. 554 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:11,436 -Do you have any references? -Oh, my bosses all loved me. 555 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,483 But they are dead. 556 00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,241 I'm gaaaay! 557 00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:19,950 I said, good day.