1
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:09,761
（威斯康辛州點域鎮）

2
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,179
（1996年6月8日）

3
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:12,764
（早上11點47分）

4
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,140
（地點）

5
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,975
（琪蒂佛曼的廚房）

6
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:18,936
瑪卡蓮娜

7
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:23,483
瑪卡蓮娜

8
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,193
嘿，瑪卡蓮娜

9
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,778
葛雯，換你唱

10
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,029
傑伊，換你唱

11
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,281
佛曼奶奶，我陪你跳

12
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,039
你現在這樣子
比以前和鎮上蕩婦在一起更讓我不齒

13
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:39,999
親愛的…

14
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,127
謝謝你的熱情參與
但請離椰子磅蛋糕遠一點

15
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,463
你的頭髮甩得到處都是

16
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:49,801
大家都說我是加強版基努李維

17
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,095
那是我說的

18
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,180
而且是在開玩笑

19
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,974
我覺得你看起來很危險

20
00:00:58,518 --> 00:00:59,894
莉亞什麼時候會到？

21
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,146
你別癡心妄想，我要先抱她

22
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:05,149
你才別想，葛雯，都過兩個月了

23
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,359
男友要先抱

24
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:09,028
我說的是抱抱，不是啪啪

25
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:12,573
葛雯，我現在不一樣了
我既要抱抱，也要啪啪

26
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,911
你們為莉亞爭執的模樣還真可愛

27
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,204
不過還是面對現實吧

28
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,664
奶奶才能先抱

29
00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:59,287
看看是誰先抱到了

30
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,039
-我要…
-奶奶

31
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,171
奶奶，你親我脖子其實有點奇怪

32
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,298
是我啦

33
00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:13,176
那是誰在摸我屁股？

34
00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,218
是我

35
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,638
那是誰在對我耳朵吹氣？

36
00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:18,973
我只是在呼吸而已

37
00:02:27,607 --> 00:02:29,650
不意外，我自己來就好

38
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,905
街頭漫步閒晃

39
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,823
生活一成不變

40
00:02:35,907 --> 00:02:40,119
無所事事，只和你聊

41
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,830
我們都好

42
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,707
威斯康辛，你們好

43
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:45,791
《90 年代秀》

44
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,502
-歐基
-別吵，乾酪條

45
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:52,256
別生氣，他想打進電台
贏得辣妹合唱團的票

46
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,634
要是肥萊迪和便便播放《Wannabe》

47
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,719
我又是第十個打進去的，我就贏了

48
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,640
葛斯布魯克，你是在開玩笑嗎？

49
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:04,560
好啦，我能陪你一下，過來抱一個

50
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,564
你擦了我寄給你的乳液耶

51
00:03:08,648 --> 00:03:11,025
我每天都擦
你有收到我織給你的帽子嗎？

52
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:12,944
有

53
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,363
我有收到

54
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,116
真不敢相信我終於回來了

55
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,868
春假感覺是一百年前的事了

56
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:21,869
就是說啊

57
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:24,664
數烏鴉合唱團

58
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,416
回來真好

59
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,126
我們竟然還得談那件糟糕事

60
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,836
我已經支開傑伊了

61
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,089
我說你忘記帶衛生棉，叫他去買了

62
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,800
-葛雯
-我跟他說你的尺寸要28號

63
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,510
所以他應該會找很久

64
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,806
我這次要回來待整個暑假
我真的開始恐慌了

65
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,182
親愛的

66
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,559
怕也是應該的

67
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,771
你去年暑假差點搞上她哥

68
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,231
沒告訴你男友

69
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,233
他沒告訴他女友

70
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,152
現在我們困在錯綜複雜的騙局中了

71
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,531
莉亞，說真的，你要振作一點

72
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,533
我為我們做了遠大計畫

73
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:04,161
我們要搞得天翻地覆，打垮父權制

74
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,580
有機會也能去新開的霜凍優格店試試

75
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,333
霜凍優格過譽了，冰淇淋一生推

76
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,129
你說得對，我能保持淡定

77
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,632
我辦不到，每個人都會發現
內特和妮琪會分手

78
00:04:16,716 --> 00:04:19,844
傑伊會甩掉我，他在遠距時好溫柔

79
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,345
甚至寄了一縷頭髮給我

80
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:25,308
希望是從他頭上剪下來的
因為我每晚睡前都會親一下

81
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,560
拜託，沒人會發現

82
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:31,022
只要你管好那張碰過陰毛的嘴
跟內特相處時正常點就好

83
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:35,776
接連我撞見過他幹沙發都辦得到了

84
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:38,654
這張沙發嗎？

85
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:41,240
哪張沙發有差嗎？

86
00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:42,950
當然有

87
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,245
我們不能養鯰魚當寵物

88
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,748
小妮，我想要“黏”也想要魚

89
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,708
只有這種寵物能二合一

90
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,836
那蜘蛛猴或馬蠅呢？

91
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,172
天啊，你的蠢會傳染耶

92
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,132
莉亞，你回來了

93
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,175
你好

94
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,092
我太大聲了

95
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,304
抱一個

96
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,434
-你幹嘛離那麼遠？過來抱她
-我寧願殺了她

97
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:12,563
開玩笑的啦

98
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,776
體育迷，你好

99
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,487
我的鈕扣被勾住了

100
00:05:29,789 --> 00:05:32,708
內特，別激動，他又不是沙發

101
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,087
我說過我只是在找遙控器

102
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,880
戴著保險套找？

103
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,176
28號的沒貨

104
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,012
但我買了六百個量超多型
還有一張防水布

105
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,394
真可惜艾瑞克來不成

106
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,271
他倒車出車道時暈車了

107
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,482
一點都不意外

108
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,444
他出生時的腦袋瓜
是醫生從業以來所看過最柔軟的

109
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:04,532
六個月大以前都戴不了帽子

110
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:08,202
我會看著其他母親
帶著戴可愛帽子的寶寶

111
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,205
心想：“好好哦”

112
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,041
現在還有一個小點

113
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,960
只要壓下去，他會像小狗一樣打噴嚏

114
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,717
這個檸檬水看起來真好喝

115
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:25,177
因為我加了薄荷

116
00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:26,720
爽

117
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,223
又來了

118
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,559
自從她開始在那所中學工作

119
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,437
我就聽不懂她說的鬼話

120
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,022
瑞德，真遺憾你跟不上我的流行語

121
00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:39,483
騙你的啦

122
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:46,198
看來我只好照你吩咐的去清水溝了

123
00:06:46,282 --> 00:06:47,241
騙你的啦

124
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:52,913
除了這場對話以外
家裡還有什麼趣事嗎？

125
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:56,167
我重拾對火車模型的熱情了

126
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,502
我剛為市政府上好色

127
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:02,006
布朗市長自以為是老大

128
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,175
我可是大王

129
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,760
瑞德，你說得很對

130
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,805
對面的鄰居過世了

131
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:11,557
變態科瓦斯基嗎？

132
00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:15,352
他每次都想叫我去跳他的蹦床

133
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,731
對啊，真是個老好人

134
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,234
不過現在他家要出售了

135
00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:27,114
正是某人搬回點域鎮的好機會

136
00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:32,161
好讓她婆婆
不會再怨恨她搶走寶貝兒子

137
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,997
好了，別扯這些

138
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,624
搬出去是艾瑞克的主意

139
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,293
狐狸精在說什麼？

140
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:42,379
什麼？

141
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,508
瑞德，我在處理事情

142
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,010
我知道你是一片好意

143
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,388
例如偷偷讓莉亞受洗了四次

144
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,350
但我們在芝加哥很開心

145
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,101
我知道，你說得對

146
00:07:56,185 --> 00:08:00,022
這只是我突然冒出來的傻想法而已

147
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:06,737
不會吧？我的餅乾下
墊著一張賣房傳單？

148
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,406
地點最重要

149
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:12,368
爽

150
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,375
情況越來越糟了

151
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,544
我們得告訴妮琪和傑伊去年暑假的事

152
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:23,087
對

153
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:26,382
差點接吻這件事是沒辦法撤回的

154
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,133
我問過律師了

155
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,305
你們倆聽好了
每個人都做過不光彩的事

156
00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:36,183
你們以為我幫那個
長得像弗雷澤的高二生打手槍

157
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:37,643
會感到自豪嗎？

158
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:39,728
一點也不

159
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,231
東尼嘉文？

160
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:45,484
哇靠，我們幫同一個弗雷澤打過手槍

161
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,154
你們知道你們的問題是什麼嗎？

162
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,575
這個爛攤子就是你們的弗雷澤
你們卻一直打個不停

163
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,911
不要再打了，懂嗎？

164
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,455
不懂

165
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,834
我不想那個弗雷澤有任何瓜葛

166
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,587
她在說什麼啊？

167
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,715
她是說我們得談談

168
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,385
對，我已經想很久了

169
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:13,971
你想談什麼？

170
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,433
興登堡號空難？真的很扯

171
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,311
不是，是要談我們

172
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,606
去年暑假發生的事在當下看起來很對

173
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,190
但其實並不是我想要的

174
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,318
我想和傑伊在一起

175
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:30,404
對，我想和小妮在一起

176
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,114
還有她的奶子

177
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,450
摸起來很撫慰我的心

178
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,246
莉亞，我們不能告訴他們

179
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832
我們得守住這個秘密到死

180
00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:44,877
對，我也不想傷害他們

181
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,295
我們什麼屌都不說

182
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,381
你覺得他們能撐多久？

183
00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:52,051
三、二、一

184
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,385
我們得告訴他們

185
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,888
對，要盡快說

186
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,307
靠

187
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:01,268
比東尼嘉文射出來還快

188
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,522
如果你們住進對面

189
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,442
這台烤爐就分你一半

190
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,488
我能共同擁有琪蒂佛曼的烤爐？

191
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,405
真誘人

192
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:19,286
等你聽完我需要家人在身邊的理由
你一定會自慚形穢

193
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,414
我快死了

194
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:23,457
哪有這回事

195
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,378
-瑞德，你到底站哪一邊？
-當然是你這邊，琪蒂

196
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,797
發神經的那邊

197
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,675
我發神經？

198
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:37,763
因為小消防站缺貨
就睡不著覺的人是你耶

199
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:42,267
不要再說它小了，那是按比例製作的

200
00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,938
我開始懷疑艾瑞克不是真的暈車了

201
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:48,440
讚啦！

202
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,609
你們兩個都讚啦！

203
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:07,793
莉亞，我日日夜夜都想著你呀

204
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,131
你讓我變成同志的相反呀

205
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:17,094
儘管是同志也完全沒問題呀

206
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,346
萬歲呀

207
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,765
莉亞和傑伊呀

208
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,480
原來有那麼多詞跟我的名字押韻

209
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:29,898
其實沒有

210
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,817
是我的功力高

211
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,069
傑伊，這首歌好棒

212
00:11:34,153 --> 00:11:35,779
整整12分鐘我都很愛

213
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:40,075
這讓我想告訴你的事更難啟齒了

214
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,828
我有發現你怪怪的

215
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:47,207
一開始我以為是因為你月經來

216
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,042
因為葛雯說你達到了七級程度

217
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:53,797
不過…

218
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,593
-我可能知道真正的原因
-真的嗎？

219
00:11:58,802 --> 00:11:59,678
是因為…

220
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,475
你不在時發生過的事
我並沒有完全坦承

221
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,434
你說什麼？

222
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:07,895
莉亞

223
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:10,981
我真的很喜歡你

224
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:16,320
我希望我們的感情是建立在信任之上

225
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,864
就像圖書館一樣

226
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,410
所以我要全盤托出

227
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,625
我和麥當勞的女員工調情了

228
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,210
但她可能都30歲了

229
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,379
等女人變那麼人老珠黃
就不會再獲得注目了

230
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:38,425
我利用這一點來獲得免費奶昔

231
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,513
我很抱歉

232
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,432
雖然我讓她開心得要命

233
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,143
好，換我了

234
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,687
等等，還有一件事

235
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:53,398
真的很嚴重

236
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,654
我看《與狼共舞》的床戲自慰

237
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,325
因為那時體香劑都還沒發明
我覺得實在很性感

238
00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:07,663
謝謝你告訴我，沒關係

239
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,290
我真的鬆了一口氣

240
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,126
因為如果你有不好的事情要告訴我

241
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,379
我不確定自己能不能那麼冷靜

242
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:20,592
我不確定你知不知道
但我是很纖細的人

243
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,471
好，換你了

244
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,393
我要說的是…

245
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,563
我也拿《與狼共舞》做了一樣的事

246
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,482
莉亞，我們幹了什麼好事？

247
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,777
那可是他們的土地啊

248
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,118
兄弟，你的歌來了

249
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,788
那是點域鎮信用合作社的廣告

250
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,834
我無法對傑伊說出口
拜託告訴我你還沒對妮琪坦承

251
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,544
-沒有，她回家了
-謝天謝地

252
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,170
所以我留言在她的電話答錄機

253
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,130
什麼？

254
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,466
我這麼做是因為我以為大家都要做啊

255
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,634
就像繫安全帶一樣

256
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,554
我現在完全不想講話

257
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,852
妮琪，真的很抱歉

258
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,896
你有什麼好抱歉的？

259
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,647
是我的白癡實習工作啦

260
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,525
老闆的聖伯納犬一直想上我

261
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,819
害我現在聞起來就像貝多芬的屁眼

262
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,448
她還沒聽到留言

263
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,825
我們得去她家把留言刪掉
以免被她聽到

264
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,119
妮琪交給我，你去處理電話答錄機

265
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,371
這個味道怎麼弄都弄不掉

266
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,123
我要回家把這件外套作廢

267
00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:36,126
不行，你家失火了，已經…

268
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:37,836
通通燒掉了

269
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:43,967
他是在開玩笑啦
他想跟你約會，因為他很愛你

270
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,844
莉亞說得對，寶貝

271
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:49,640
雖然說這句話讓我痛苦
因為我覺得她整個人都很噁

272
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:51,725
我們去卿卿我我吧

273
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,604
-兄弟
-傑伊

274
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,689
跟我出來一下，理由我還在想

275
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:01,610
-是因為你想在太陽下比二頭肌嗎？
-對

276
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,111
不是才剛比過嗎？

277
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,656
你的比較大，你的比較有線條，平手

278
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,163
歐基，你得幫助我潛入妮琪家

279
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,416
對喔，你聽不到

280
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,169
我聽得到，只是不想幫忙

281
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,135
我應該甩掉你太太了

282
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:31,264
我在廚餘處理機放了一根湯匙
打開電源後就溜了

283
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,644
說來遺憾，但琪蒂可能終於瘋了

284
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,775
對啊，她有時做事真的會太過火

285
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,736
這是什麼？

286
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:45,904
帥吧？

287
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,490
這能讓我回到青春歲月

288
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,575
當時每個人都有工作

289
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,661
奶昔只要幾毛錢

290
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:56,456
喜歡巨臀的人都知道該秘而不宣

291
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:01,253
酷哦

292
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:04,631
這些小人不會跟你說話吧？

293
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,091
不會

294
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:09,886
不過現在莉亞走了，琪蒂又去上班

295
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,555
我整天閒閒沒事幹

296
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,766
不做這個就只能大白天喝酒了

297
00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:18,478
後來我想通了，小朋友才做選擇

298
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,321
說句題外話

299
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,075
你有可以談心的對象嗎？

300
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,454
你以前不是有一群牌友嗎？

301
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,496
有是有啦

302
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,791
不過賴瑞退休後去了亞利桑那州

303
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:41,501
比爾買了一艘船

304
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,173
我從上次露營後就沒看過羅傑了

305
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,090
為什麼？

306
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:48,633
他被熊吃掉了

307
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,387
終於找到你了

308
00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:55,432
有個可愛的家庭剛剛來看房子

309
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,768
但我噴水趕走了他們

310
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,269
所以我們現在還是有機會

311
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:04,316
你趁我小便拿房貸申請書給我時
我就已經說過我不想再討論了

312
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,276
何必大驚小怪

313
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,945
艾瑞克早就跟我詳細描述過你那邊了

314
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,824
-媽，我急需…
-無論什麼都好，我們走

315
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,870
把兒子還我

316
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,129
瑞德，你的火車害這句話變好怪

317
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,056
-莉亞？
-媽！你應該要在車上等我才對

318
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,059
你應該只是要來妮琪家
拿你忘記帶走的髮圈吧

319
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,646
結果我看到你用香腸引走她的狗
然後還爬進窗戶

320
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,982
這是怎麼回事？
是跟你和妮琪的男友有關嗎？

321
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,777
你怎麼知道？你偷聽我的電話？

322
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,987
拜託，每個媽媽都會偷聽

323
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,990
你以為我要你吃事前藥是巧合嗎？

324
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:58,245
內特在答錄機上說出了真相
我一定要刪除這個留言

325
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,288
我不想把你捲進來
但你問太多問題了

326
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,290
現在我們要是被抓，兩人都得坐牢

327
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,918
以後爸看牙醫時，誰負責握他的手？

328
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,170
他會怕得要死，媽

329
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,840
好啦，別著急

330
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,384
沒人會坐牢，沒人要去看牙醫

331
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,136
-告訴我吧
-就只是…

332
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:18,849
去年暑假本來是夢想成真
但我在最後毀掉了一切

333
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,934
我好喜歡這些朋友

334
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:25,021
我喜歡有個加強版的基努李維男友

335
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,607
好喔

336
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,488
但唯一保有這一切的方法是不停說謊

337
00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:34,406
這不是我的作風

338
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:38,410
算了，就讓妮琪聽見真相吧

339
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:42,038
要是東窗事發後一切破滅
導致我得明天跟你回家，也是我活該

340
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,836
這個決定好成熟

341
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,046
我知道要下這個決心不容易

342
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,091
我好為你的成長自豪

343
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,347
留言已刪除

344
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,018
媽？

345
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,312
祝你暑假開心

346
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,149
我現在好愛你哦

347
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,526
下一則留言

348
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:14,237
又是我，剛才那則留言不是真的

349
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,155
我是在演戲

350
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:19,492
我要去參加電影試鏡
演一個差點親好兄弟的女友…

351
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,036
留言已刪除

352
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,496
下一則留言

353
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:28,376
那部電影不會在美國上映
所以你看不到

354
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,586
直接把錄音帶拿走

355
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,930
我就知道遲早有這一天

356
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,016
我已經打包好了

357
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:47,062
我這就送你去就醫

358
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,440
我懶得理你，瑞德
唐娜在外面講電話

359
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,695
你在偷聽媳婦私底下說的話？

360
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,781
拜託，每個媽媽都會偷聽

361
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,451
其實搬回點域鎮也還不賴

362
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,078
對莉亞大有好處

363
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,121
而且我覺得瑞德有點孤單

364
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:08,375
其實我非常確定他很孤單
他朋友被熊吃掉了

365
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,380
我是神！

366
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,011
唐娜和艾瑞克會買下對面的房子

367
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,806
他們覺得你是可憐老頭，很棒吧？

368
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,226
或許對你來說很棒吧

369
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:30,063
我找不出比艾瑞克更煩的人

370
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,106
你覺得如何？

371
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:39,656
我明天預約了全身熱蠟除毛
不過我再取消就好

372
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,574
希望你不介意

373
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,243
我會毛茸茸哦

374
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:50,792
要開始了

375
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,047
快接啊，肥萊迪、便便

376
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,050
你怎麼這麼在意？
不過是辣妹合唱團而已

377
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,095
恭喜，你是第十名來電者

378
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,640
-我贏了
-請等待肥萊迪和便便接電話

379
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:08,351
葛雯，我一點都不該懷疑你
一切都處理好了

380
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,895
妮琪和傑伊
永遠不會發現內特和我的事

381
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:13,273
便便，你有聽到嗎？

382
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:16,651
妮琪和傑伊一定會很火大
你知道那代表什麼意思嗎？

383
00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:19,154
雙重沖水！

384
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,156
我上廣播了？

385
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,035
我的票啊！

386
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:26,494
先別驚慌

387
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,247
他們說不定沒聽到

388
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:34,794
太扯了吧

389
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,672
便便從來不曾雙重沖水耶

390
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,931
沒事，我著地了

391
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:48,600
你死定了

392
00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:34,104
字幕翻譯：韓仁耀