1 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:10,344 My head is pounding. 2 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,764 This hangover's killing me. 3 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,349 The field party was three days ago. 4 00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:17,852 Sorry I know how to party, Gwen. 5 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:21,314 That field party ruined both of our lives. 6 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,191 Things are so weird with Leia. 7 00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:27,111 I'm not built to last this long without the attention of a lady. 8 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,530 Bro, buy a Playboy. 9 00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,742 Hey, guys, and et cetera. 10 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,745 Please, look at me, Leia. 11 00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,622 I-- I get that you're mad. 12 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,708 All right? I wish I hadn't told so many other girls I love them, 13 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:44,670 but back then I was throwing it around loosey-goosey like I was feeding ducks. 14 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,423 And then you banged all those ducks. 15 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,718 Those ducks are people. 16 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,472 And how am I supposed to know you mean it with me when you've said it so many times? 17 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,182 Shh. Your voice. 18 00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,726 I can't take your voice right now. 19 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,396 All right, we gotta get going. We're meeting Nikki at the mall. 20 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,523 And I get to spend time 21 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:06,859 with the last two girls in the world you haven't said "I love you" to. 22 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,070 Come on! 23 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,782 Nikki gave me the last Cheddar Bay biscuit at Red Lobster. 24 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,492 In the moment, I meant it! 25 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,040 Women, right? 26 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,501 I can't be this for you. 27 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,213 Where the hell is Nate when I need him? 28 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:30,800 No one can know about this. 29 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,177 Yes. That was the last time. 30 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,137 Definitely. 31 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:36,806 One for the road? 32 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,266 Waiting on you, cowboy. 33 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,146 How are you so out of breath? 34 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:46,190 -I did all the work. -It's from cheering you on. 35 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,611 Nik, I can't. 36 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,615 -Who are we kidding? -We're so good at it. 37 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,828 ♪ Hanging out down the street ♪ 38 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,872 ♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪ 39 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,040 ♪ Not a thing to do ♪ 40 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,293 ♪ But talk to you ♪ 41 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,920 ♪ We're all all right We're all all right ♪ 42 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,423 Hello, Wisconsin! 43 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:16,387 Oh. Hey, is Gwen over here? The credit card company keeps calling, 44 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,807 and I need someone who can do a British accent to tell them I died. 45 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,644 You know, you don't have to tell me everything. 46 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,939 Better yet, don't tell me anything. 47 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,108 We're headed to the mall. 48 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,985 -Love you, Grandpa. -Bye, sweetie. 49 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:34,322 I took 20 bucks from your purse, and I'll be home before tomorrow. 50 00:02:34,906 --> 00:02:36,699 You let her talk to you like that? 51 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:40,077 Oh, it's fine. She's just like me when I was her age. 52 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,831 Independent, rebellious, banned from Wrigley Field. 53 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:48,878 Yes, I will be right there. I am so excited. 54 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:52,423 Okay, you know how my ankle has still been bothering me? 55 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,885 Well, my friend, what's-her-name, got me an appointment with the guy 56 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,012 who helped fix her whatever-it-was. 57 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,806 Good for her for getting that figured out. 58 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,267 What kind of doctor is this? 59 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,187 Well, he's not really a doctor. He's a medicologist. 60 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:10,107 Which I actually think is better than a doctor. 61 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:12,610 Sounds like a quack. 62 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,196 He has a business card, Red. 63 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,323 And so does Bob. 64 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:22,161 And his says "International Bikini Inspector." 65 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,875 If people pay you to do it, it's a job. 66 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,801 I bet Jay would say he loved this one. 67 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,595 I love this one. And I love this one. 68 00:03:39,679 --> 00:03:41,847 Ooh. I actually do love this one. 69 00:03:43,516 --> 00:03:44,558 Hey, there you guys are. 70 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:47,436 What happened to you? We waited for half an hour by the fountain. 71 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,479 The fountain? 72 00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:52,191 Oh, I thought we said "a mountain." I was at the state park. 73 00:03:53,985 --> 00:03:55,903 Forty bucks for a miracle bra? 74 00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,154 Are you kidding me? 75 00:03:57,238 --> 00:04:00,283 You know they paid some kid overseas 30 cents to make this. 76 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:03,202 Classic patriarchal pink tax BS. 77 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,997 What could possibly justify this price? 78 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,456 I'm a woman now. 79 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,877 It really does work miracles. 80 00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:14,922 I think I just got dumber, and I don't mind. 81 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:17,800 I wish I had 40 bucks, 82 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,636 but I spent all my holiday money on a label maker. 83 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,807 We could always forget to take them off and walk out of here. 84 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,434 We are not shoplifting. 85 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,241 -What do you think you're doing? -Looking amazing? 86 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,367 Run! 87 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,917 I really screwed things up with Leia. 88 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,795 How can I trick her into trusting me again? 89 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,089 Have you considered not tricking her? 90 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,217 Don't screw around. This is serious. 91 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,178 We need a great idea. 92 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,308 What if I made a clone of myself? 93 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,978 Leia could love him, since he's never done anything wrong. 94 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,565 But how will she know that the clone's not me? 95 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:17,401 Wig. 96 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,070 I'll get her a wig. 97 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,615 I got a secret. 98 00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:24,867 It's a sexy secret. 99 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,537 I'm interested in your clone. 100 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,957 Not for weird stuff. 101 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:35,920 I just want a square dance partner, and I'm afraid to ask a non-clone. 102 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,881 I do want you to learn how to square dance. 103 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,216 That is important to me. 104 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,219 So you can have my clone. 105 00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:46,222 Now I'm back to nothing. 106 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,351 The Back to the Future car. 107 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,145 Where are we on that plutonium? 108 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,773 The guy never called me back. 109 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:02,071 Even if he did, I… …I'm never telling my secret. 110 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,865 What am I supposed to do, guys? 111 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:07,493 Find every girl I've ever lied to and apologize, 112 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,954 so Leia knows that I've really changed? 113 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:15,459 Where are you getting that from? That was a smart and normal thought. 114 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,588 I thought you said it. 115 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:23,467 It's sex. I'm doing sex. 116 00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:34,019 Hello? 117 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,690 I'm not in my body right now. 118 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:41,777 I'm back. 119 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:46,574 I was visiting you as a child. You really grew into those teeth. 120 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,994 Kiefer. Kiefer Lee Roth. 121 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,328 Please, sit. 122 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:06,802 So, um, um… I am having some trouble with my ankle. 123 00:07:06,886 --> 00:07:08,512 Uh, ankle. Ankle. 124 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,099 But, uh, that's not the problem. 125 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,645 Let's find your real pain. I need to scan you. 126 00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:19,440 -Will it hurt? -Like you're being burned alive. 127 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,651 But you won't feel it. 128 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:37,666 Mother was distant, wasn't she? 129 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,793 -Oh, how did you know? -Shut up! 130 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,507 Our chakras are on the same energy plane. 131 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,758 -Do you feel that? -I do. 132 00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,718 -No, you don't. -I don't. 133 00:07:48,761 --> 00:07:52,389 Yet. But I'm going to rock your chakras. 134 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,980 -Thanks, Bryson. I got it from here. -Yeah, thanks, Bryson. 135 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,982 For protecting the bras of America. 136 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,821 Okay. Before we get started, I just have to ask you one question. 137 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:12,159 -Are your parents important in this town? -What? 138 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:15,371 I brought the mayor's son in here for smoking in the bathroom, 139 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,665 and they stopped picking up my trash. 140 00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:19,959 My mom's sort of famous. 141 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:23,045 She's the lady who ran onto the field and tackled Sammy Sosa. 142 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,257 All righty. 143 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,758 Whoa. 144 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,095 That's my old prescription. 145 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,472 -I just need your name to get started. -Janet. 146 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,975 Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty. 147 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,980 Listen, kid, if you lie to me on this form, 148 00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,524 I'm gonna have to walk down the hall and get another form. 149 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,943 Which means I'm gonna have to talk to Angela. 150 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,112 Angela is my ex-wife. 151 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,865 Okay. You and your friend Bryson have done a great job, 152 00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,784 but I'm gonna wait until the real cops come. 153 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,494 Bryson is not my friend. 154 00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:58,914 And I'm not calling the real cops, because there were three of you. 155 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:02,042 Yet you were the only one my homeboy brought in here. 156 00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:04,253 Yeah. So? 157 00:09:08,007 --> 00:09:11,218 Oh, damn. There I was, behaving like any teenager, 158 00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:13,804 but I forgot I had to be the Black teenager. 159 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,139 Mm-hmm. It's, uh… 160 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,642 It's exhausting having to run things through the racism filter, isn't it? 161 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:22,521 Yeah. I forgot to because this time I was actually stealing something. 162 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:26,025 I appreciate the confession. 163 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,777 Oh, you're good. 164 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,907 Okay, you stay over there. I'll stay over here. 165 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,243 And we're gonna have a real conversation about this. 166 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:39,163 Yeah. What are we doing? We don't want to get back together. 167 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:43,083 Definitely not. No, it's… It's just easy, and it's comfortable, 168 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,918 and it's fun, and it means nothing. 169 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,671 -We're officially never doing that again. -Perfect. 170 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,549 Whoa. 171 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:53,927 Bigger. 172 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,848 Oh yeah, I went shopping today. 173 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,352 Yeah, never is a strong word. 174 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:09,193 -Oh by the way, I think Gwen got arrested. -Gwen who? 175 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:19,620 Kitty! 176 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,122 What is that? 177 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,084 Oh, this is my medicologist. 178 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,169 He's here to help cleanse the house. 179 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,253 Kiefer Lee Roth. 180 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,677 So, I just… I just threw away the mayonnaise. 181 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,055 Kiefer said it's a breeding ground for fear. 182 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,516 We're the only species to eat mayo, 183 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,351 and that's why we can't fly. 184 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,773 -Where the hell are your shoes? -Oh, you mean foot prisons? 185 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191 They were holding me back. 186 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,695 Like my, uh, toothbrush, and my… my young family. 187 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,656 Would you like some olive oil? 188 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,753 Lubricates your bowels so you can release your toxins. 189 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,339 I like my toxins. 190 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:13,882 Hmm. 191 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,635 I'm sensing a lot of clenched energy. 192 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:20,639 When was the last time you just, uh, sang for yourself? 193 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,976 When's the last time you had a foot up your ass? 194 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,520 Last Thursday. 195 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:30,149 Hey, uh, where's your nearest restroom? 196 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,817 My toxins are callin'. 197 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,652 It's just-- It's just inside there. 198 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,029 Oh, that's too close. Uh, I'll go upstairs. 199 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,074 Kitty. 200 00:11:40,451 --> 00:11:43,746 When you wanted to sell Amway, I said sure. 201 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,915 And when you thought your mom came back as a crow, 202 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:50,544 I fed it seeds and a cup of Sanka. 203 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,463 But this… 204 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,132 This is a bridge too far. 205 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,342 I know it all sounds a little whack-a-doo, 206 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:01,430 but I'm telling you, Kiefer is a genius in his own right. 207 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,682 That was crazy. 208 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,853 Hey, do you guys mind if I cry in your bed for a while? 209 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,320 I know you took my lunch, Angela! 210 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,614 Tuna sandwiches don't just walk away! 211 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:23,952 God, she sucks. 212 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:26,789 Yeah, you're the one having a bad day. 213 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,707 Look, I know this isn't fun, 214 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,210 but this isn't gonna be the last time you're singled out. 215 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,463 I mean, how many times have you had your hair touched by a stranger, 216 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:37,341 or been told you don't need sunscreen, 217 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:42,095 or been asked for your autograph because someone thinks you're… Scary Spice? 218 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,764 Moesha. 219 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,142 It's always Moesha. 220 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:50,103 Moesha. I should have got that. 221 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:54,149 Well, I can guarantee you that you will not be profiled here again. 222 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,569 Smile. 223 00:12:57,653 --> 00:13:00,656 You are banned for a year. Company policy. You understand. 224 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,407 She was framed. 225 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:05,702 This is all inadmissible. I'll put the system on trial. 226 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:07,996 You called my mom? 227 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,916 Company policy. You understand. She's free to go. 228 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,127 -Thanks, Officer Cutie. -Mom! 229 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,173 Should I get bangs again? 230 00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:27,850 Again, I'm so sorry for my past behavior. 231 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,727 Thanks for being so cool about this. 232 00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,191 For your troubles. 233 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,030 At least that one didn't kick you in the nads. 234 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:46,827 I'd rather they go for the nads. This face is my ticket out of this town. 235 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,580 Next one's here. 236 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,249 Oh, please, please be an easy one. 237 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,710 Or at least one that's not wearing any rings. 238 00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:58,547 Jay! I got your message. 239 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,674 I'm so excited. 240 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,259 Did your girlfriend die? 241 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,512 Oh. Hey, Stacy. 242 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:07,598 Nice rings. 243 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,392 They're mood rings. They're all different colors. 244 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,351 Isn't that weird? 245 00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:13,979 No, that tracks. 246 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,983 Look, Stacy. 247 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:21,945 I think you have the wrong idea, and that's entirely my fault, okay? 248 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:25,324 I should have never led you on, and I'm sorry. 249 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,619 I hate it when we fight like this. 250 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:31,496 I don't think that's what's going on here. 251 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,332 You calling me a liar? 252 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,291 No, ma'am. 253 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,713 I don't know how to make this any clearer for you, 254 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:43,008 but Leia is my girlfriend, okay? 255 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,635 She's the only one I want. 256 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,887 Okay, I get it. 257 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:48,972 I don't like it. 258 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,475 But I get it. 259 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:59,024 -Thanks for being so cool about this. -Jay, it's over! Stop being so clingy! 260 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,236 Never mind, officer. She left. 261 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:09,076 I'm so glad you're okay. I thought you were gonna go to jail, 262 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,370 and I was gonna commit a crime to join you. 263 00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,123 Leia, I'm fine. Can we talk about anything but this? 264 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,750 Okay. Um… 265 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,252 -Well, I'm still really upset with Jay. -Or that. 266 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,381 I can't believe that guy was so hard on you. 267 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,884 Back in my day, you could get out of trouble with a flirt and a flash. 268 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,971 But, apparently, that's against the law now too. 269 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,432 See, Leia? Everything's fine. 270 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,059 I got a cool mom. 271 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,687 What does that mean? You should be thanking me. 272 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,982 When I got caught shoplifting, Grandma made me sleep in a canoe. 273 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,776 I woke up in the next town. 274 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,988 You're lucky you got a mom who gets you. 275 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,699 You don't get anything. We were all leaving the store. 276 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,909 Why do you think I was the only one who got caught? 277 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:52,911 Forget it. 278 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:57,082 I don't know, honey. My money would have been on the virgin. 279 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,211 -Gwen told you? -You can tell from a mile away, kid. 280 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:11,847 Good morning, Kiefer. What's going on? Are you moving? 281 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,016 Yeah, uh… I'm, uh… 282 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,017 I'm moving. 283 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:20,063 Yeah, to a different location with better auras and all that crap. 284 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,733 Well, how exciting! 285 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,152 -Yeah, yeah. -And Red thought you were a quack. 286 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,154 A quack? Me? Ha! 287 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,157 Kitty, I have a pretty bad cocaine problem. 288 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,494 I do a lot of cocaine. 289 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:37,456 And when I can't find it, I do other stuff. 290 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:38,582 Worse stuff. 291 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,959 Stuff that I buy from a lion tamer. 292 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,047 I hope this doesn't change anything between us. 293 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,257 It changes a lot! 294 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,470 Usually does, yeah. Okay, quick question. 295 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,555 Do you have any cocaine? 296 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:55,474 No. 297 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,143 I've never even been to Miami. 298 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:03,607 How about 1,000 dollars? Do you have 1,000 American dollars? 299 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:07,527 I can't believe you are a fraud. I am so disappointed. 300 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:12,282 Kitty, I don't have time to talk about who is a fake healer and who isn't. 301 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,118 I owe some very bad people a lot of money. 302 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,163 Will you run away with me? 303 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,626 No, I will not! 304 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,835 And this… 305 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,839 This belongs in a pasta salad. 306 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,300 Oh. 307 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,595 Hey! Hey! Do you want to buy a boombox? 308 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,806 Only ten American dollars! 309 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,102 Where's the mayonnaise? 310 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:45,899 Leia… your grandma is going through something. 311 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:50,487 And she will either come to her senses, or this is the beginning of the end. 312 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,449 I messed up, Red. 313 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,076 And there we go. 314 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,079 Kiefer is not a healer. 315 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:02,332 He's a fraud. That's why my mom pooped on my windshield. 316 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,000 She was trying to warn me. 317 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,380 Go ahead. Tell me I'm stupid. 318 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,340 Don't beat yourself up. 319 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,425 We all make mistakes. 320 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,803 You remember when I lost my wedding ring, 321 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,596 and we had to get it replaced? 322 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:21,059 -No. -Well, another mistake! 323 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,103 Ah, come here. 324 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,815 It's gonna be okay. 325 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:31,278 Wait, so, you really messed up, but you didn't get mad, 326 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:34,030 question your entire relationship, or steal a bra? 327 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,199 No, I'm not mad at all. 328 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:41,705 I gave Kiefer 700 dollars to cleanse our house. 329 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,751 Not mad at all. 330 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,340 I am so sorry, Mrs. Purdy. 331 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:55,468 I had no idea that Vanessa was lost at sea. 332 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,513 I'll pray for her. 333 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,392 Count it! 334 00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,897 -Hi, Jay. -I think we're about to die. 335 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,942 -What are you doing back here? -I couldn't give up on us. 336 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:14,362 I know what you want, and I can be her. 337 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,282 Look at me. I dress like this, 338 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:20,410 and I talk like this, and I'm Jay's girlfriend. 339 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:24,039 She does sound like her! 340 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,336 -What the hell's going on here? -What the hell's going on here? 341 00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:31,755 Back off. 342 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,882 Ooh… Don't talk to her like that. 343 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,927 Jay, I came down here to forgive you, 344 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:40,055 but obviously you're not thinking about me as much as I was thinking about you. 345 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,598 Leia, sit down. 346 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,312 Jay has been killing himself trying to show you he's changed. 347 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,731 He apologized to every girl he ever lied to. 348 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,900 He's been slapped, kicked, spit on, 349 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,861 and we are moments away from this girl wearing his skin! 350 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,490 And you know why he's doing all that? 351 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,659 Because he's crazy about you. 352 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:03,119 Leia. 353 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:10,961 I understand it's gonna take some time for you to start trusting me again, 354 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:15,715 but I'm gonna do whatever it takes, because I really do love you. 355 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,635 Aw, baby! 356 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,597 Stay out of my moment! 357 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,936 This didn't go exactly how I always pictured it, 358 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,813 the first or second time, 359 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:33,775 but I don't care, because I love you too. 360 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,156 I guess it is time for me to move on. 361 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:43,535 Hey, you. 362 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,956 Babe, you gotta get better at this. 363 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,546 Oh, good. You finally came out of your room. 364 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:57,299 I knew you couldn't resist the smell of my hot dog soup. 365 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:05,056 Listen, honey, I don't know if you know this, 366 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:08,435 because I do a really good job of keeping it from you, but… 367 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,270 I don't always know what I'm doing. 368 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,814 No way. 369 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,818 Come on, it'd help me if you told me what I'm doing wrong. 370 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:20,697 It's not that you're wrong, it's just that you're so… white. 371 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,034 Like, really, really white. 372 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,120 You never met your great-grandma. 373 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,456 When she laid down in the snow, gone. 374 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,753 Sometimes, when you talk about how alike we are, 375 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:38,506 it feels like you're ignoring that I'm Black, and that sucks for me. 376 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:41,551 Oh no, that's the last thing I'm trying to do, honey. 377 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,261 I-- I'm so sorry. 378 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:47,098 It's okay. I'm not mad at you, but I am mad. 379 00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:51,561 I'm so mad, like, all the time! I'm mad when it happens and I don't expect it. 380 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,147 I'm mad when I do expect it and nothing happens! 381 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,025 I get it. That I don't get it. 382 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:00,528 So… 383 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:02,906 did we fix this? 384 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:04,824 Racism? 385 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,411 Us. 386 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,831 -I feel better we're talking about it. -Okay. 387 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:15,877 You can always talk to me about anything, whether I get it or not. 388 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:25,887 Dude. 389 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,932 Nik? What are you doing in my house? 390 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,016 We broke up!