1
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,219
你們好幸運

2
00:00:10,303 --> 00:00:11,637
我最接近巴黎的一次

3
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,014
是去小小世界玩

4
00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,141
結果設施故障在法國康康舞群旁邊

5
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,685
九個月後，葛雯出生了

6
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,522
我努力精進了一下我的法語

7
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:26,152
牛肉是紐肉，火腿是獲腿
香腸是香腸頌

8
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:30,990
瑞德每天要是少吃一種
就會脾氣暴躁

9
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,618
瑞德，不用擔心啦

10
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:37,288
我會像老鷹一樣緊緊盯著那些孩子

11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,750
晚上則是會像蝙蝠一樣

12
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:44,879
倒掛在我的背部伸展器上

13
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,217
鮑勃，我之所以把重責大任交給你

14
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,095
是因為我別無選擇

15
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,181
不是你就是她

16
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,432
你選得很對

17
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,893
我引起過很多次火災

18
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:04,690
包在我身上，瑞德
我有讓你失望過嗎？

19
00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,776
莉亞，快去跟爺爺擁抱道別

20
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,863
我知道機會渺茫

21
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:14,659
但要是你看到
戴貝雷帽的貴賓犬在吃可頌

22
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:15,827
一定要幫我拍下來

23
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:18,037
兩週後再見

24
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,251
兩週後再見

25
00:01:23,835 --> 00:01:25,545
旅途愉快，愛你們哦

26
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:26,796
我也愛你

27
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:30,383
其實你沒必要盯著我和朋友

28
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,634
你不說，我就不說

29
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,677
辦不到

30
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:36,347
接下來兩週，我都要黏在你的屁股上

31
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:42,436
現在捲餅可以當三餐還真不錯

32
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,355
你說過這句話了

33
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:48,025
你們在這下面就是做這些事嗎？

34
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,026
好無聊

35
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:53,322
這個小圈圈需要一個方西

36
00:01:54,824 --> 00:01:56,492
看來就是我了

37
00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:01,164
這句也說過了

38
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,126
街頭漫步閒晃

39
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:07,044
生活一成不變

40
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:11,465
無所事事，只和你聊

41
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,801
我們都好

42
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,095
威斯康辛，你們好

43
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,013
《90 年代秀》

44
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,849
你們覺得這裡有多大？

45
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,517
23、26平方公尺？

46
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:22,518
葛雯，你說呢？

47
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:23,978
我不在乎

48
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,190
我要去上廁所

49
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:32,737
是小號，所以頂多10分鐘就回來

50
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:36,407
我們得甩掉他

51
00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:40,036
他現在一邊上廁所
就已經逐漸遺忘跟我們說過什麼了

52
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:43,831
別心急，我們確實需要方西

53
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:46,542
我已經說好幾年了

54
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:48,878
鮑勃不會有問題啦

55
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:52,089
他三週前嘲笑我的外套有太多口袋

56
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,801
就是口袋數量恰到好處的那件

57
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,889
所以我決定正確發揮網路的功能

58
00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:01,891
報仇

59
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,977
我找到了鮑勃的雅虎帳號

60
00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:06,938
就假裝成女性

61
00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:10,149
我們在稀有硬幣聊天室內打情罵俏

62
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,819
他說的每個硬幣笑話
我都笑得花枝亂顫，滿足他的虛榮心

63
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,782
他的哏每次都是“有元哦”

64
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,244
他比我樂在其中多了

65
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:28,084
我融合了梅格萊恩的魅力
加上傑拉德福特的政治

66
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,212
火花開始四射

67
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,215
他急著想說出自己的心情

68
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,636
所以我建議我們碰個面

69
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,388
鮑勃竟然同意了

70
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,973
好耶

71
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,517
當然好啊

72
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,520
好耶

73
00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,859
現在在他的收件箱裡

74
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:58,281
有著今晚和高田琳妲
火熱約會的詳細資訊

75
00:03:58,364 --> 00:03:59,907
等等，那是你媽的名字

76
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,201
我知道，我一時驚慌就打了，好噁

77
00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:07,540
我要說的是，就我對鮑勃的瞭解

78
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,917
他正在樓上看電郵

79
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,545
莉亞，我突然有點事

80
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:17,174
我幾小時後得出門，家人有急事

81
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,720
好，是我認識的家人嗎？

82
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:23,931
只要我表現得好，可能就快是了

83
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,188
我告訴你為何在樓上比較好

84
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,898
我們在樓下時

85
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,776
想上樓就得走上樓

86
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,322
但我們在樓上時，早就在樓上了

87
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,533
你每天都有新發現耶

88
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,953
-在聊什麼有趣的？
-沒什麼

89
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,750
-你的臉怎麼了？
-什麼意思？

90
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,128
你臉上有正常不會有的東西

91
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,213
-我覺得很酷
-謝謝

92
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,465
你當然覺得酷

93
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,967
你們過去兩年都滾那麼多床單了

94
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,596
才不是那個原因

95
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:04,889
我們只是朋友

96
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:09,352
自從懷孕驚嚇後
我們之間的性張力就消失了

97
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,312
對，很多感覺都不一樣了

98
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,607
我想更活在當下，冒冒險

99
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:18,277
目前只試了在臉上貼鑽
以及換了會吸引蜜蜂的沐浴乳

100
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,653
但我正在一步步探索中

101
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,240
等你到達目的地，記得洗臉

102
00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:26,285
出大問題了

103
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,164
莉亞跟紫毛寶拉說我們家裡沒大人

104
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,083
她是學校的大嘴巴

105
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,959
她甚至跟我說我是同志耶

106
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:39,757
她會告訴所有人
這裡會變成大型派對會場

107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:43,552
要是她告訴我，我一定馬上跑過來

108
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:47,223
大家不會沒事不請自來吧？

109
00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:48,140
那很沒禮貌

110
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:54,021
我們每天都不請自來啊

111
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,445
他們來了

112
00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:06,534
不必陪我們一路走到登機口啦

113
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,952
我也希望我是出於親切

114
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,788
但有很多男人會在登機口跟女友道別

115
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,706
我喜歡撿那些哭哭啼啼的男人

116
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,000
買件T恤回來送我

117
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,920
我都穿大號童裝，再從前面割開

118
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:27,680
瑞德，有件事我想了很久
所以我就直說了

119
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,142
你認為法國動物有口音嗎？

120
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,895
琪蒂，我跟你說

121
00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:37,815
我不要上飛機

122
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,402
如果你肚子不舒服
反正我們就坐在廁所旁邊

123
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,237
因為位置是你訂的

124
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,198
不是，問題不是這樣

125
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,909
你有沒有納悶過

126
00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:52,913
多年來，你跟孩子們飛去迪士尼樂園

127
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:55,082
我都開車去和你們會合？

128
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,418
因為你不想花錢租車

129
00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:01,422
那我們搭火車去西雅圖
參加我叔叔的喪禮那次呢？

130
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,466
因為你想看洛磯山脈

131
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:05,509
我才懶得理洛磯山脈

132
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:09,138
天啊，你怕搭飛機

133
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,974
我們到機場前，你怎麼都不說？

134
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,060
我希望我們說不定會在路上出車禍啊

135
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,856
辛苦雪莉，她已經盡力了

136
00:07:22,735 --> 00:07:24,403
人太多了

137
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,198
還有酒桶跟DJ，大家在做暖身運動

138
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,532
他們幹嘛暖身？

139
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,160
有個女生也在臉上貼鑽

140
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,953
問題是她太刻意了

141
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,079
我要去告訴她

142
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:40,211
他們拿我奶奶的青蛙裝飾做什麼？

143
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,588
它的嘴巴是拿來放花的好嗎

144
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,550
我受夠了，我要叫所有人離開

145
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,677
傑伊，請千萬不要讓任何人進來

146
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,472
你是要我學《威龍殺陣》死守嗎？

147
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,308
我不懂那是什麼意思

148
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,435
你沒必要懂

149
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,230
只要說：“學《威龍殺陣》死守吧”

150
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,190
快點說啦

151
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,402
-學《威龍殺陣》死守吧
-我保證你不會後悔

152
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,531
想一起學《威龍殺陣》死守嗎？

153
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,574
我聽了都起雞皮疙瘩了

154
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:19,458
聽好了，我是莉亞佛曼，這裡是我家

155
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,462
你們通通都給我離開

156
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,797
遜！

157
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,882
你們才遜，我是認真的

158
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:29,134
我爺爺奶奶要兩週後才回來

159
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,052
然後…

160
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,889
不對，忘掉我剛才說的話

161
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,642
想一起用這個喝酒嗎？

162
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,435
那東西碰過多少人的嘴巴？

163
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,020
不知道，我是在地上撿到的

164
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,147
來嘛，我們賭你不敢

165
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,107
你們賭我不敢？

166
00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:45,192
東西給我

167
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,029
-美女
-寇爾

168
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,073
我才在希望你會出現

169
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,825
不然我就會去找

170
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,036
那個和籃球桿慢舞的怪人親熱了

171
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,709
我有壞消息

172
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:05,045
足球練習提前了
所以我明天就得出發去大學

173
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,673
什麼？他們剛剛才告訴你？

174
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,341
其實是我看錯時間表了

175
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:10,718
六月跟七月太像了

176
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,511
最後一個字都是“月”

177
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,600
我們早就知道會有這天
只是比我們想的還要早到

178
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:20,978
既然這是我在這的最後一晚
我想說我們可以一起度過

179
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,315
我比較想早死早超生，所以囉

180
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:26,984
你連談都不想談？

181
00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:32,740
不聽話，就滾蛋

182
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,827
兄弟，我正要說那句經典台詞耶

183
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:41,874
不對，我說我要先說，下次換你說

184
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,877
我們說好的確實是這樣，對不起

185
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:52,051
來吧，喝酒壯膽

186
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,889
你的安眠藥漂在杯裡耶

187
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,351
竟然有這種事

188
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,811
我浪費了一顆藥丸

189
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,899
我不懂，你明明就飛過韓國了

190
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,735
韓戰就屬那部分最可怕

191
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,820
不好意思插個嘴

192
00:10:12,488 --> 00:10:14,698
飛機比你想像的更可怕

193
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:20,579
飛機就是培養皿
充滿細菌、病原體、微生物…

194
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,830
沒人問你意見

195
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:24,750
讓他說下去

196
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,585
思考一下

197
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,755
三百個人用同一間廁所
而且窗戶還不能打開？

198
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,757
我們都把米田共吸進去了

199
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,009
米田共是什麼？

200
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,971
那是我們抗菌社群對糞便的稱呼

201
00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:40,516
琪蒂，聽到沒？

202
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,102
我們會把米田共吸進去

203
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,188
我不喜歡你

204
00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:52,111
我要說的是，她如果愛你
就不會接下西班牙的工作

205
00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:54,279
在美國也可以教美語啊

206
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,240
你幹嘛？

207
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,368
這傢伙有配備電話的跑車
我中大獎了耶

208
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,620
瑞德怕搭飛機

209
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,414
-什麼？
-我們一小時後要起飛

210
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,083
那傢伙在灌輸瑞德謊言

211
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,753
或是我選擇忽略的真相

212
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,798
好，別擔心，交給我

213
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,218
我知道有個人搭了一次飛機

214
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,054
拉肚子拉到死

215
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,349
年輕人，我好無聊

216
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:25,185
你想喝醉、親熱、再也不說話嗎？

217
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:27,855
我可以先幫你洗手嗎？

218
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:29,648
更怪的事我都幹過

219
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,235
有機會再聊，瑞德

220
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:38,741
好

221
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,702
沒想到事情會發展成這樣，好吧

222
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,540
你想加入空愛俱樂部嗎？

223
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,672
機上的女人任你挑哦

224
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,176
我真的很想去巴黎

225
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:08,979
記得史威茲說
“乖一點，直到不用乖為止”

226
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,441
他還有說：“該清垃圾了”

227
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:16,069
他還一手捏爆那傢伙的喉嚨

228
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,781
那部電影好完美

229
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,908
這裡為什麼有人？

230
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,745
他們早就在這了，所以…

231
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,790
有點像…我們不知道該怎麼辦

232
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,043
我也常有那種感覺

233
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,712
里歐？

234
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:36,965
你該不會以為
我會錯過自己的退休派對吧？

235
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:42,095
那比錯過自己的退休派對還慘耶

236
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,847
我絕對不要錯過

237
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,476
這是他的退休派對
我不得不讓他進來

238
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,896
有人想一起犯傻嗎？

239
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:56,235
絕對不行，瑞德爺爺會宰了我

240
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,112
爺爺的名字為什麼叫瑞德？

241
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:02,991
許瑞德，許願吹蠟燭

242
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,786
薩克斯風要用吹的

243
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,038
比爾克林頓會吹薩克斯風

244
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:09,998
所以你才要退休嗎？

245
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,793
差不多是這個原因

246
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,130
不過別擔心，我兒子要來接家業了

247
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:21,760
我要和我的狗一起開間小民宿

248
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,389
要是不成功

249
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,934
我還有四年的資格能踢大學足球

250
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,646
我從沒想過要退休

251
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,442
我會是那種超級娃娃臉老人

252
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,821
染髮、拉皮

253
00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:43,949
東整整，西整整

254
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,452
我會永遠都長這副模樣

255
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,291
我有心事要說

256
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,128
我不是無牽無掛的保鑣

257
00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,339
我有一顆充滿感情的心

258
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,092
我以為我跟史威茲一樣，這…

259
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,595
太扯了

260
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:10,517
里歐，謝謝邀請我參加你的退休派對

261
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:14,146
我不能在我家開派對
因為我爺爺會宰了我

262
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,900
這裡隨時歡迎你

263
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,197
喂？

264
00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:26,700
潘西亞迪爺爺好

265
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,453
我只是想關心一下你們好不好

266
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,705
跟你說件事，別說出去

267
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,626
我本來是要跟
網路認識的小妞琳妲碰面

268
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,252
但她放我鴿子

269
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:39,546
她大概一開始就這樣打算了

270
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,256
沒關係

271
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:46,511
我認識了一個新的小妞
她更聰明、更好笑、更有意思

272
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,059
更有意思？

273
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:56,063
對啊，我們實在太有“元”了

274
00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:01,151
不好笑，你根本不瞭解她

275
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,528
誰知道她是什麼人
說不定是個網路上的小朋友

276
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,532
我被莉亞的外公甩了

277
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:11,954
讚，我們都單身了
想一起在派對上裸奔嗎？

278
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,538
有個問題

279
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:17,125
我想看下面長怎樣就刮了毛
現在看起來跟沒長過毛一樣

280
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,047
你大可以直接拒絕就好

281
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:24,549
等等，你為什麼說你單身？

282
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,176
寇爾明天要去上大學了

283
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,761
你們要談遠距戀愛？

284
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,055
不知道，他跟我說，我就閃人了

285
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,974
葛雯，聽我一句勸吧

286
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,102
畢竟我才剛談完一段
為了報仇而談的假戀情

287
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,645
你需要有個了結

288
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,107
我還得等到圖書館開門
才能讓知道鮑勃

289
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,192
高田琳妲是個多瘋狂的賤人

290
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:47,572
我剛跟一個男人對賭他不敢跳樓
結果他就跳了

291
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,616
太令人興奮了

292
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,410
我很興奮

293
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,577
他需要冰敷

294
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:01,753
往巴黎的921班機最後一次登機廣播

295
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,588
那是我們的班機

296
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,924
對不起，琪蒂

297
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,009
我愛你

298
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,761
但我辦不到

299
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:10,887
沒關係，老公

300
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,224
要我們倆都覺得好玩，我才想去

301
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,059
我們回家吧

302
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,270
謝謝你的體諒

303
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,771
但在你起身之前

304
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,399
我想跟你聊一下

305
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,319
如果我們不去巴黎
你以後會過怎樣的生活

306
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:27,904
這話是什麼意思？

307
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:31,992
不會再有人幫你
打掃、洗衣、煮熱騰騰的飯

308
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,454
我甚至連冷飯都不幫你煮

309
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,750
不是因為我是講女權
我還是搞不懂女權

310
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:43,295
而是因為我受夠了

311
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,213
所以你現在必須做出抉擇

312
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,925
飛行時間只有八小時

313
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,722
回家是一輩子的事

314
00:16:55,223 --> 00:17:00,520
如果你以為可以一死了之
我會讓你把維他命吃好吃滿

315
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,981
你會長命百歲

316
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,484
先別關門

317
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,114
我們要去巴黎了

318
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:17,245
先到亞特蘭大轉機，然後就去巴黎

319
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:21,041
你們要玩得開心哦

320
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,296
男人就是這樣，兩杯黃湯下肚之後

321
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,465
突然就不怕染上什麼病了

322
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,510
這裡有肉桂

323
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,679
我會錯過班機

324
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,939
各位，我有壞消息

325
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,109
今晚沒人能去丹佛了

326
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,486
各位，我有好消息

327
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,030
我戀愛了

328
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,784
我為什麼老是碰上這種事？

329
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,832
我賭你不敢親她

330
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,334
每次跟高中男生玩遊戲
最後都是這樣

331
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:05,752
換一個吧

332
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,005
我賭你不敢上台唱歌

333
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,466
-嘿
-聽著

334
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,801
我不知道你想要怎樣

335
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,429
但我不會說那種屁話，像是

336
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,014
“我會想你”

337
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,808
“你是我所交往過最棒的人”

338
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,727
“長相不重要，但你超帥

339
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,771
你天生麗質難自棄”

340
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,274
很高興你沒說那些話

341
00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:29,943
那我們要怎麼做？

342
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,903
我們要徹夜不眠

343
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,574
看湖上日出

344
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,617
你會頂著宿醉去大學

345
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,661
我喜歡

346
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:45,458
你就算要對母蛙做那種事
至少也遮住小蛙的眼睛吧

347
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,509
我在早上六點聽到時鐘聲

348
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,513
我覺得離我很遠

349
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,434
我的早餐有雞蛋跟鬆餅

350
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:03,894
你知道妮琪會唱歌嗎？

351
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,146
沒聽過這種天籟

352
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,525
夢持續好久

353
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:13,820
即使你已走了

354
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,908
我知道你愛我

355
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,995
我知道你很快就會知道

356
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:25,248
糟糕，別這樣，你才剛放下她

357
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,584
我沒有怎樣啊，好啦，我有

358
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,045
你注定要和我在一起

359
00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:35,717
我注定要和你在一起

360
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,676
完了

361
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,682
我到處檢查過了，看起來都沒問題

362
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,726
有人吐在地下室沙發

363
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,645
不過沙發本來就是嘔吐色
所以沒問題

364
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:50,398
問題是他吃了里歐的退休布朗尼

365
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,568
整盤都吃了？

366
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,571
整盤炸雞

367
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,659
他現在只會講這句話

368
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,496
整盤炸雞

369
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,586
我麻煩大了

370
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,255
本來沒有那輛車嗎？

371
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,222
是我不好

372
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,142
這不是我們的錯，好嗎？
我負責看地圖

373
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,936
但這座廚房又不在地圖上

374
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,647
兒子，你來啦

375
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,773
爸！

376
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,403
各位，這是我兒子，他叫兒子

377
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,697
他是我兒子

378
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,241
全名叫紅孩兒

379
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,661
但他都簡稱我兒子
因為這樣對他來說比較簡單

380
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:45,578
老爸，對吧？

381
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,372
不是，我叫里歐

382
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:51,167
你們為什麼還在閒聊？
我家廚房裡有一輛車耶

383
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,128
廚房裡有一輛車耶

384
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,965
我們已經討論過了，大家都不介意

385
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,218
這裡的人都好親切哦

386
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:43,553
字幕翻譯：韓仁耀