1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,967
[rock riff plays]

2
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,887
Did you bring it?
Jay's gonna be here any minute.

3
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,681
Yeah, it's your first time having sex,
and you have to be safe.

4
00:00:13,765 --> 00:00:15,308
[inhales deeply, exhales]

5
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:18,644
I ran to the store to get condoms,
and I really needed this.

6
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:23,900
Grandparents are out of the house.
The zit on my back finally went away.

7
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,651
The sex stars have aligned.

8
00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:29,989
Leia, I am so tired of this virgin stuff.

9
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,449
Take the leap!

10
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,787
Okay. Get out of here.

11
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,791
You don't want me to hide in the shower
so I can give you pointers after?

12
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,626
-Would you?
-Goodbye.

13
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,134
We have a problem.

14
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,386
-What happened?
-I messed up my shoulder.

15
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:53,304
Today?

16
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,807
On this, the most important day
of our young lives?

17
00:00:56,808 --> 00:00:57,767
I'm sorry.

18
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,436
I skateboarded in front of a car
that was moving a little.

19
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,898
But the doctor said it would've been worse
if it was moving a lot.

20
00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:07,485
Wait, it's just your shoulder.
Do we really need that?

21
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,363
You've seen me dance. I'm all shoulders.

22
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,865
You know what's really sexy?

23
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,826
Taking a few Advil.

24
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:20,289
Leia… my body is a temple.

25
00:01:20,373 --> 00:01:24,293
I mean, nothing goes in here
that I can't catch, kill, or grow.

26
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,547
My shoulder needs
something as natural as Sunny D.

27
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,759
"Xanthan gum, sodium benzoate,
sodium hexametaphosphate."

28
00:01:31,843 --> 00:01:34,428
Those are science words
for what's in an orange.

29
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:36,514
[theme music plays]

30
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,432
♪ Hanging out down the street ♪

31
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,518
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪

32
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,687
♪ Not a thing to do ♪

33
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,897
♪ But talk to you ♪

34
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,525
♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪

35
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,902
Hello, Wisconsin!

36
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,950
Ooh! Give it to me! Give it to me!

37
00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:00,037
"Hey, Donna, how are you?
How was the long drive from Chicago?"

38
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:04,125
Oh. Sorry, honey, I got a Beanie Baby hole
that needs plugging.

39
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:08,129
Oh! Chomps the Alligator!

40
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,923
You are just…

41
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,550
[straining]

42
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:16,637
Normally, I do this part in private.

43
00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:21,225
Lucky for you, I was the only one at CVS
who could reach the back of the top shelf.

44
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:25,688
I hated that you and Eric were
the same height in your wedding pictures,

45
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,607
but now it's really paying off.

46
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,025
[laughs]

47
00:02:30,026 --> 00:02:34,030
See that? That's how she used
to look at Eric as a baby.

48
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,074
You know, before the talking.

49
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,620
Look, Red… Chomps is here.

50
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,079
-[chuckles]
-[exclaims]

51
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,498
Twenty more, and I will have
the whole collection.

52
00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:46,918
You told me this was
for a sick kid at your church.

53
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:50,296
Aren't you happy that was a lie?
Everyone's okay.

54
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,674
I didn't know this was a whole thing.

55
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:56,510
You need to nip this in the bud.
I saw a lady like her on the news.

56
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,680
She swallowed a bag of marbles
trying to become a Beanie Baby.

57
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:06,479
Donna, when I look
at these stupid sacks of beans,

58
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,649
I see money.

59
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:10,733
What?

60
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:15,112
Well, when Kitty dropped ten bucks
on Willie the Walrus one day,

61
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,989
I about blew a gasket.

62
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,035
But then I sold Willie
to a Girl Scout for 20 bucks.

63
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,288
And that's how we became
business partners.

64
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,125
We're gonna call it "I Dream of Beanie."

65
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,919
[laughing]

66
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,004
[rock music playing]

67
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,049
I hope someone's home.

68
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,551
I need a baggie
of all-natural pain relief.

69
00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,053
Leia was super horny.

70
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,221
Whoa!

71
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,472
Girl horny.

72
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,684
Dude, she was like boy horny.

73
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,645
You guys don't know boy horny.

74
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,898
Hey. You know I applied
for that job at the Hub to show Nikki

75
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,775
that I'm mature and responsible?

76
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,777
Under job experience,

77
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:58,364
I said that I was a lawyer
at the law firm of Ozzie and Ozzie, so…

78
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,950
If they call you, be ready.

79
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,203
I'm always ready to lie to an adult.

80
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,665
Hey, kids! Man, I'm so embarrassed,

81
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,376
'cause I'm in the middle
of a fight with my roommate.

82
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,627
Excuse me for a second?

83
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:15,840
Sit your dumb ass down,
or I will sit it down for you!

84
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,467
Uh, is this a good time?

85
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:21,262
Oh, this is a great time.
Especially for a life lesson.

86
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:25,057
Come on in. Let me show you what
a real-life schmuck on wheels looks like.

87
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:30,229
Follow me, people of Point Place.
Thar she blows!

88
00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:34,942
You're embarrassing yourself, bro.
It's your tramp stamp all over again.

89
00:04:35,026 --> 00:04:37,778
He's got a panther
jumping over his butt crack.

90
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:43,909
Kids, this was my didgeridoo
until Bunch sat on it and broke it.

91
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:48,164
If you put your didgeridoo
in a sitting place, it's gonna get sat.

92
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:52,835
He doesn't understand. I'm stressed out
'cause I've taken over my dad's business.

93
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:56,130
This was the only thing
that helped me relax.

94
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,632
You do know
what's inside of your baggies, right?

95
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:04,013
Kids, a dime is fine from time to time,
but nothing does it like the 'doo.

96
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,974
Guys, look, I'm kind of in a rush here.

97
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:08,476
All we need is a baggie.

98
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,770
We'll get out before this gets personal.

99
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:14,023
I've known him since I was a kid.
This could never get personal.

100
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,567
Although look at the stupid way he chews.

101
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,194
Man, you eat like a Muppet!

102
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,322
-We're going there? Okay.
-Yeah.

103
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,699
I banged your mom, and I'll do it again.

104
00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:25,576
For real?

105
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,537
[rock music playing]

106
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:35,086
Jay's out of commission for two weeks,
which means no sex for a fortnight.

107
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,837
[in British accent] A fortnight?

108
00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:42,009
[normal] You're having sex with Jay,
not a British soldier.

109
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:45,638
I was so ready.
And I keep getting more and more ready.

110
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:49,141
Good thing you can solve
this problem… yourself.

111
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,061
Absolutely.

112
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,981
-Do you know what she's talking about?
-I don't.

113
00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:01,445
Leia, I'm talking about, you know…
scooping your own ice cream.

114
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,407
DJing your own party?

115
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,619
Why don't we just say the word
and own our sexuality?

116
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,912
Masturbation!

117
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,211
Oh, that's why we don't say it.

118
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,755
Oh, that, yeah. [scoffs]

119
00:06:20,256 --> 00:06:21,966
I've dusted my own bookshelf.

120
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,347
-And?
-It was fine.

121
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,058
Fine? Girl, it's not supposed to be fine.

122
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:32,852
It's supposed to be fine!

123
00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:37,857
No, I don't understand.
I have the hottest go-to fantasy.

124
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,942
[dreamy music playing]

125
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:50,411
Doug, this sparkling apple juice
is perfectly chilled!

126
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,582
[both] I am so excited to write
about this in my journal.

127
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:55,958
[both gasp] Jinx!

128
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,418
[both laughing]

129
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,422
Leia, you're prettier
than Patti Mayonnaise.

130
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:04,300
Uh-huh. Take off your vest.

131
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,344
But this is a family cartoon.

132
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:10,389
It's not Saturday morning anymore, Doug.

133
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,602
[sultry guitar lick plays]

134
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,020
Ooh!

135
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,229
Douglas!

136
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:19,315
[romantic music playing]

137
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,195
[barks quietly]

138
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,033
Doug Funnie?

139
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,869
He really knows my body.

140
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,914
You have to stop that.

141
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,750
Maybe think of a real-life boy.

142
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,127
Like, lately,
I've been thinking about him.

143
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,756
What? That's my go-to guy!

144
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,717
We have the same go-to guy?

145
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,052
That is super weird.

146
00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:52,598
I'd say it's a lot weirder than me
doing it with a TV celebrity.

147
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:57,603
Stop bringing up Doug.
He's not even hot for a cartoon.

148
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:02,024
If you want to fast-track the whole thing,
try a shower head.

149
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,611
That got me through the first six months
of my relationship with Nate

150
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,530
before he started listening.

151
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:13,369
Fine. But for the record,
Doug Funnie is the kind of guy you marry.

152
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:14,995
And that's sexy.

153
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:16,705
[rock riff plays]

154
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,750
Smell it.

155
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,795
You can smell the quality.

156
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:25,839
It's pure as hell.

157
00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:30,469
-I'll give you ten.
-Excuse me.

158
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:34,723
I was just driving by,
and this little fella just caught my eye.

159
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,810
Is that Chomps the Alligator?

160
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,563
Why, yes, it is, handsome neighbor.

161
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,523
Hot damn!

162
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,900
I'll give you 20 bucks for that!

163
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:46,610
-I'll do 25.
-30!

164
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,989
Okay, I'll do 35.
And I'll throw in Flippy the Fish.

165
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:53,576
I will need Flippy the fish,
Quackers the Duck, and Walter the Whale.

166
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:59,164
She means the limited edition Walter
with the bow tie.

167
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,459
I should've known
you jerks were working together.

168
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,587
The Beanie community is going to hell.

169
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:06,755
I'll be right back.

170
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:08,507
[rock riff plays]

171
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,638
Well, we sure cleaned that guy's clock.

172
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:19,685
When you said limited edition,
my teapot really started whistling.

173
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,644
[both laugh]

174
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,896
You liked that, did ya?

175
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,816
-[gravelly] Limited edition.
-[laughing]

176
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,818
Not alone. You're not alone.

177
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,988
Listen, I'm worried about you guys.

178
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:35,326
You could get ripped off, or worse,
end up with a lot of Beanie Babies.

179
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,496
Well, we really appreciate you
looking out for us.

180
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,958
Okay, I said my piece. Do what you want.

181
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,629
Did we just get in trouble?

182
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,633
I don't know. I wasn't listening.

183
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,426
[rock music plays]

184
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,264
Hey, girl.

185
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,683
Are you talking to my mom?

186
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:04,521
Yeah, I'm talking to your mom.
And she's using her sexy voice.

187
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:09,360
Mom, don't fall for this!
He's trying to get back at me for banging…

188
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,694
Never mind!

189
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,864
I gotta get back to Leia.

190
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,116
I mean, she wants to have sex with me.

191
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,619
And if I'm not there,
she'll scramble her own eggs.

192
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,038
We gotta do something.

193
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,039
Do we, though?

194
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,750
Let's just let them
bang each other's moms.

195
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,421
All we need is for Bunch
to apologize for breaking the…

196
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,674
the dongity-dong.

197
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,760
You're right. Let's show him.

198
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:36,470
Hey, guys.

199
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:40,224
It seems like the problem here
is that no one wants to apologize.

200
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,142
Okay, but it's super easy.

201
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,646
Nate, remember in sixth grade

202
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,232
when your dirt bike got stolen,
and you were super sad?

203
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:53,153
I loved that bike.
We spent the whole summer looking for it.

204
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,365
Well, the truth is…
I was jealous, and I stole it.

205
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,660
And I… Look, I'm really sorry, bro.

206
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,578
But now that I've apologized…

207
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,290
we can put it behind us.

208
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,793
You stole my bike?

209
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,673
Yeah, but I apologized.
So we're back to being best friends.

210
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,384
This is so messed up, dude.

211
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:18,345
When you got your new brown bike,
I was so happy for you!

212
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,601
Your new brown bike
was my bike painted brown?

213
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:28,647
You know, you just wouldn't shut up
about your new bike, bro.

214
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:31,233
All of us old bike kids hated you.

215
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,776
You should be friends with them,

216
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,028
'cause I didn't know
my friend was a dickwad.

217
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,949
I'll be your new friend.
'Cause my friend sucks!

218
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:43,328
If you're gonna let him be his friend,
don't introduce him to your mom!

219
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,164
[rock riff plays]

220
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:53,255
So, if he's a prince in your fantasy,
are you, like, a princess?

221
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,798
No, I'm the president.

222
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,844
-What are you in yours?
-His bully.

223
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:01,638
Shh…

224
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:05,267
Sometimes you just gotta…
Yeah, you gotta tap the bottom. Here.

225
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:19,323
Random question.
Have you ever been shoved in a locker?

226
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,909
No. Why, should I worry?

227
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,244
I haven't decided yet.

228
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,248
Did you leave a copy
of White Noise here last week?

229
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,292
Uh, yeah, I've been looking for that.

230
00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,628
Well, I'm reading it right now.

231
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,380
You take great notes.

232
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,384
I don't love that he's a reader.

233
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,762
But I can make it work.

234
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,140
[rock music plays]

235
00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:50,062
Boring.

236
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:53,315
Maybe.

237
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,609
[laughs]

238
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,069
I don't think so.

239
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,404
[knocking at door]

240
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:02,866
[Red] What's going on in there?
Did you fall in?

241
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,868
Someone's doing homework in here!

242
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,958
[rock riff plays]

243
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:15,295
I just can't figure out
how the heck this thing broke!

244
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:17,464
Me either.

245
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,759
I was taking a very standard shower,
and it just came off.

246
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:22,427
It just came off?

247
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:23,428
Mm-hmm.

248
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:29,226
Okay.

249
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,605
Can we please talk about something else?

250
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,442
Well, it just makes no sense.

251
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:42,906
You'd have to pull so damn hard
to get that fitting to snap.

252
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:45,492
Oh!

253
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:50,789
Oh…

254
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:54,167
[sighs] Well, things happen.

255
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:01,008
But if we don't figure it out…
then it might happen again.

256
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,594
-Well--
-After this, probably not.

257
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,639
Are we here to chitchat,
or are we here to eat?

258
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:17,566
I know. I'll talk to the guys
down at the plumbing supply about this.

259
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,026
They'll know.

260
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,320
Sure, they'll know.

261
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,573
They always know.

262
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,911
He's gonna talk to the guys?

263
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,996
[rock music playing]

264
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,918
-Scrote!
-Sack!

265
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,169
-Chode!
-Scrote!

266
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:41,131
He already said that. There you go,
stealing things all over again.

267
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,677
Enough! We are solving this… now.

268
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,763
I'm sorry I broke your didge.

269
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,181
It was a cry for help.

270
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,767
It's just you were spending
so much time with it.

271
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,727
I started to feel invisible.

272
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,562
And it got real bad.

273
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,315
I couldn't even see myself in that mirror.

274
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,108
That's a window.

275
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,905
You know, it's not easy
being Leo's kid, man.

276
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:08,784
I'll be honest with you.
He's so organized and intellectual, man.

277
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,664
But still, I hear his voice
in my head all the time.

278
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:17,000
Or is that my voice
I hear in my head all the time?

279
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:20,045
Wait a minute. Am I talking,
or is my dad talking right now?

280
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,214
It's okay.

281
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,967
Together, we can do anything.

282
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,802
The more you know.

283
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,638
Only you can prevent forest fires.

284
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,724
[sighs]

285
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:33,976
You know what, man?

286
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:38,313
I spent all those years just…
wondering where my bike was.

287
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,651
My best friend… was riding her all along.

288
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:45,612
Now that I know that, I…

289
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:49,074
I can release her ghost
into dirt bike heaven.

290
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,911
She's not dead, man.

291
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,999
Remember that blue bike I got you
a couple years ago for your birthday?

292
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:58,834
That's your girl.

293
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,756
I've been riding her all along?

294
00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,426
Full circle.

295
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:09,386
[kisses]

296
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:15,517
This song is called "Brown Bike,
Blue Bike, Same Bike."

297
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,645
[deep note sounding]

298
00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:20,522
Ooh, I'mma lay down some harmony.

299
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,066
[high note sounding]

300
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,112
[middle note sounding]

301
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,951
I wish I could stay to see this,
but my shoulder feels great.

302
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,203
I gotta go see Leia.

303
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,876
I don't want to be rude.

304
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,713
[didgeridoos harmonizing]

305
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,925
[rock music playing]

306
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,101
[light knocking]

307
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,479
Hey. Need any help?

308
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,981
I'm not even good at doing this by myself.

309
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:07,027
Why am I the most embarrassing
person in the world?

310
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,905
Your grandparents are blowing
their savings on stuffed animals.

311
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,699
You're not even the most embarrassing
person in this house.

312
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:16,036
You're a teenager.

313
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,955
You're figuring stuff out.

314
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,124
It's normal to not know what you're doing.

315
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,628
But all my friends are, like, sex experts.

316
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,088
Uh, they're not.

317
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,217
You know what? Forget all this.

318
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,178
I'm putting off any sex stuff
until I'm in my 40s.

319
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,889
You wait too long, it gets weird.

320
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,602
You've met your dad's friend, Gene?
That's what that looks like.

321
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:46,149
Listen. There are no magic secrets
to any of this.

322
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:50,237
Just expect that everything related to sex
is super awkward at first.

323
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:54,032
And anything that isn't is a fun surprise.

324
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,368
Just take your time,

325
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,995
make sure that you are comfortable,

326
00:17:59,079 --> 00:17:59,913
and be safe.

327
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:01,957
Thanks.

328
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:07,587
Poor Gene. He's so good at juggling.
You'd think he'd be able to find a woman.

329
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,590
Sweetie, you have so much to learn.

330
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,801
[rock riff plays]

331
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,096
Put that apron on
and get back in the kitchen.

332
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:21,017
Uh, this is fun and all,
but you wouldn't actually date him, right?

333
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,854
No way. Look at his little hips.

334
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,438
I could snap him in half.

335
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,066
Good. 'Cause I want to.

336
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,862
Break up with him. Give him
one last swirly and kiss him goodbye.

337
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:35,115
You want me to kiss him
after his head's been in a toilet?

338
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,658
None of this is real.

339
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,537
Fine. I'll find a new go-to.

340
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,748
I wonder if Lenny Kravitz
likes being bullied.

341
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,041
It's better if he doesn't.

342
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,836
Hey!

343
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,297
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.

344
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,050
-My friend thinks you're hot.
-Sorry.

345
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:54,968
She's…

346
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,887
correct.

347
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:01,308
I clock out in a bit if you want to hang.
I'll tell you how the book ends.

348
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:05,770
-I thought you didn't finish it.
-Uh, I'm insecure about how fast I read.

349
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,023
I didn't want to embarrass myself.

350
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,234
Me too. We could do a daily book club.

351
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,653
-I call president.
-How about we be co-presidents?

352
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:17,282
Trust me. You really want me
to be the president.

353
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,702
[rock riff playing]

354
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,746
[knocking at door]

355
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:23,788
[Red] Come in!

356
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,752
Hello, Donna!

357
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,254
Have you guys been drinking?

358
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:35,592
We stopped at Applebee's
on the way home for a few drinks, Mom!

359
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:40,889
And if they're gonna charge us
five dollars for a margarita…

360
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:44,142
I'm leaving with a snowshoe.

361
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:48,146
We were celebrating. Earlier today--

362
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,231
Too close.

363
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:53,777
We sold all the Beanies.
Red, hand me my purse.

364
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,197
Yup.

365
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,991
I can't put this thing down.

366
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,494
What if it snows?

367
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,039
He was doing shots with a lacrosse team.

368
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:10,543
We got a ride home on their bus.
They loved my songs.

369
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:11,628
Too close again.

370
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,881
Did you guys at least break even?

371
00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:19,803
Oh. Break even? We came home
with 1,500 dollars cold, hard cash.

372
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,264
And a snowshoe.

373
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,766
Let's not lose sight of that.

374
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,851
I never should've doubted you.

375
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:31,189
I didn't realize my comments in passing
would inspire such a big reaction.

376
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:34,401
Well, you could fill a room
with what you didn't realize.

377
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,237
Okay.

378
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,322
I'm gonna go to bed now.

379
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,784
And I'm gonna leave super early
so we don't have to talk about this.

380
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,495
Another great trip in the books.

381
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,708
[sputtering]

382
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:50,667
Kitty!

383
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:53,753
Yeah?

384
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:55,880
Kitty!

385
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:04,055
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…

386
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,684
No, you're a good man.

387
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:14,357
That was really fun, doing that together.

388
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,109
It was.

389
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,527
[laughs]

390
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,112
Kitty.

391
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:25,744
Listen to me.

392
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:29,789
We gotta go back for the other snowshoe.

393
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,292
[rock music playing]

394
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:37,464
Leia.

395
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:40,842
I'm back, baby!

396
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,388
So you're 100%? That means we could…

397
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,348
Do it.

398
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,725
Were you gonna say "do it?"

399
00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:51,519
Yes, I was.

400
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:58,610
Is everything okay?

401
00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,029
Your hands are clammy.

402
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:04,741
I get like this before I have sex.

403
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:06,368
I think.

404
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:11,039
Actually,
now that this is really happening,

405
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:12,582
I'm nervous.

406
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:13,666
Oh.

407
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,754
Well… look, we don't have to do this.

408
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,090
No, I want to.

409
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:23,468
It's just… what if I do it wrong?

410
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:24,511
Um…

411
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,347
I don't think you can.

412
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:30,225
Leia.

413
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,102
It's fine.

414
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,896
Really. I mean,
maybe today's just not the day.

415
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:38,650
Why don't we just… sit here and hang out?

416
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:41,236
Yeah. It's nice.

417
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:45,865
I know something
that might make you feel better.

418
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:47,700
I can do this now.

419
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:49,911
[chuckles]

420
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,788
Hey, it's not funny.

421
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,791
Okay? Shoulder dancing
is an undervalued art form.

422
00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:58,086
-Try it.
-[chuckles]

423
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,422
[chuckling]

424
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,382
Whoa! I'm really good at this.

425
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,301
You've been practicing, huh?

426
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:12,851
What?

427
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:15,728
Today's the day.

428
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:18,356
["Fade into You" by Mazzy Star playing]

429
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,026
♪ Fade into you ♪

430
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:30,118
Oh, Leia! You're even prettier
than Patti Mayonnaise!

431
00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:32,203
Uh-huh.

432
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:33,371
Take off your vest.

433
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,001
[kissing sounds]

434
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:40,503
At least we still have each other. [barks]

435
00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:44,966
[kissing sounds]

436
00:23:45,049 --> 00:23:46,759
[song fades out]

437
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:47,886
[sighs]

438
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:49,429
I really hope I get hired.

439
00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:52,390
When Nikki sees me working here,
she'll think it's badass.

440
00:23:57,812 --> 00:23:59,981
I think that guy stole your idea.

441
00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:05,236
We're still gonna get burgers, right?

442
00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:07,655
Yeah.

443
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:11,367
[closing theme music playing]