1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,967
[rock riff plays]

2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,678
This fight between the guys is really bad.

3
00:00:10,762 --> 00:00:14,015
Yeah, Jay came by and returned
the snow cone machine Nate got him.

4
00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,808
And where he put the snow cone juice?

5
00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:18,644
Let's say the only flavor
it makes now is yellow.

6
00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:23,566
This is why I only get snow cones
from an authorized dealer.

7
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,445
Know how many times
those two Dutch-ovened me in their van

8
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,155
until I gave them money for gas?

9
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,532
Once a week.

10
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:34,118
And twice on my birthday.

11
00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:38,498
-They are on their own.
-Well, I need them to make up soon.

12
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:43,086
Now that Jay doesn't have his bro around,
he's turned me into his substitute Nate.

13
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,714
[shouts] Not in my house!

14
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,966
Whoo!

15
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,553
-Hey, can I get some of that?
-Sure.

16
00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,600
Dude!

17
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:00,770
This is mine now.

18
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:05,316
Leia, look. I'm Ace Ventura.

19
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:12,198
"Excuse me!
I'd like to ass-k you a few questions."

20
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,659
You talked to his butt?

21
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,371
It said something
really sweet to me last night.

22
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,248
It's very confusing.

23
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:24,001
Leia, there's two dogs humping,
and they're different sizes.

24
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,087
The smaller one is on top.

25
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,090
Just like them.

26
00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:34,887
-[theme music plays]
-Come on, you're gonna miss it.

27
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:36,764
♪ Hanging out down the street ♪

28
00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,808
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪

29
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:41,060
♪ Not a thing to do ♪

30
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,229
♪ But talk to you ♪

31
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,648
♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪

32
00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,359
Hello, Wisconsin!

33
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,611
What are you studying for?

34
00:01:50,695 --> 00:01:53,114
Did I forget to sign
the kids up for school again?

35
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,658
I'm dating this new guy, Theo,

36
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,452
so I'm writing questions for him
to make sure we're on the same page.

37
00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,413
Oh, That is a good idea.

38
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,915
Get all the information up front.

39
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:05,960
My friend Evelyn married
a devil worshiper.

40
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,589
Remember that guy, Red?
He was at the Johnsons' party.

41
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:12,842
He made that pentagram
out of the pool noodles.

42
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,513
I remember 20 minutes ago

43
00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:21,642
when I was sitting here,
reading the paper, by myself.

44
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:24,562
Ahh, those were the days.

45
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:29,150
New boyfriend already?
I'm so happy for you, Nikki.

46
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,360
No, I'm not.

47
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,072
What happened to that guy
you made out with at the wrestling thing?

48
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,034
He gave me his number
on the back of a Dairy Queen coupon.

49
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,827
But it's gone now.

50
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:44,040
Because my mother treats her depression
with Peanut Buster Parfaits.

51
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,504
-Ms. Runck.
-Yeah?

52
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,507
-You enjoy the company of a random guy.
-I do.

53
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,803
Have you ever wanted to find one after?

54
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,723
I tried once, and I ended up on Cops.

55
00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:05,311
They blurred out my face, but you can see
my C-section scar plain as day.

56
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:09,065
Oh… I thought that was you.

57
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:12,318
Ozzie.

58
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:15,613
Have you ever heard of missed connections?

59
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,740
It is my favorite.

60
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,867
People place ads in the paper

61
00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:23,287
with whatever information they have
to try and find each other.

62
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:26,916
Oh.

63
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,584
Red. Could I borrow this?

64
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,506
Of course. All I was doing was reading it.

65
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,342
Why don't you try that new coffee shop?

66
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:39,553
They have everything you love.
The paper, chairs.

67
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,305
You'll get a kick out of it.

68
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:44,225
And miss all this? Deal.

69
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,520
Okay. Here we go.

70
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,438
Missed connections.

71
00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:54,026
You should read these.
They are filled with intrigue and romance.

72
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,612
Mrs. Forman, I don't want to do this.

73
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:59,365
It looks like it's just for weirdos
and sex creeps.

74
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,701
Oh no!

75
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,161
Here, look at this one.

76
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,038
"S&M."

77
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:11,002
"Smart and mature."
That could be you, Ozzie.

78
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,796
I was with a smart, mature guy once.

79
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,880
[chuckles]

80
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,426
-Bit off more than I could chew. Yeah.
-Oh! [laughing]

81
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,511
[rock music playing]

82
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,848
Those humping dogs
were a real wake-up call.

83
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,976
Nate should've been there for that,
so I invited him over.

84
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,894
I'm never talking to that guy again.

85
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,230
Well, maybe your butt can talk to him.

86
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,983
My butt's even more mad at him than me.

87
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,402
The good part is,

88
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:40,072
you'll be able to see how douchey he is
now that he's with Betsy.

89
00:04:40,156 --> 00:04:44,076
She got him to wear a wallet chain.
He gets snagged on every doorknob.

90
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,038
-What's up, dorks?
-[Betsy] Oh!

91
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,419
Bro? The hair.

92
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:55,713
It's good, right? [chuckles]

93
00:04:56,589 --> 00:04:57,715
No!

94
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,510
Every time I see it,
a douchey angel gets its wings.

95
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,055
Don't listen to her, Nate.

96
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,059
Or that bus full of kids
who threw stuff at you on the way here.

97
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,352
Get over here, girl.

98
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,230
You pick out his underwear too?

99
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,857
I actually do.

100
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,567
He wears boxer briefs now.

101
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,945
-Like Marky Mark.
-But they smell like the Funky Bunch.

102
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,655
Burn!

103
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:27,495
Okay, let's not forget why we're here.
Nate, sit down and talk to your friend.

104
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,289
Whatever. I'm tired anyway.

105
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:34,543
Babe, do you want to tell him
it's from having sex, or should I?

106
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:36,587
-[Betsy chuckles]
-You're such an idiot.

107
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,091
She doesn't even have to say anything
'cause you already said it.

108
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,927
Why can't you apologize to me already?

109
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,513
After all the crap you said? Forget it.

110
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,432
Okay, whatever.
Then you have no reason to be here, then.

111
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,435
-So get off the couch.
-You get off the couch.

112
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:55,564
No, no, no. I don't want this to turn into
some immature standoff over the couch.

113
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,483
It's not.

114
00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,778
[shouts] I'd rather die…

115
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,324
than get off this couch!

116
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:10,955
Well, I hereby dedicate my life
to sitting on this couch!

117
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,749
Okay, Aunt Lisa.

118
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,627
Yeah. Yeah. You look like my Aunt Lisa.

119
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,380
She's a middle-aged woman
with the exact same haircut.

120
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,881
That's why it's so funny.

121
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,675
Ha.

122
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,926
Joke's on you.

123
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:26,429
I think Aunt Lisa's super hot.

124
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,642
I accidentally grazed her boob…
when I hugged her last Thanksgiving.

125
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,019
That door's always open.

126
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,771
[rock riff plays]

127
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,445
Hey.

128
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:45,614
You're getting on my last nerve.

129
00:06:58,794 --> 00:06:59,753
That's better.

130
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,799
Sir, you can't treat
our valued customers like that.

131
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,470
You're a hero.

132
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,013
I hate him.

133
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:13,142
When we slept together, he said he was
in Pearl Jam. I always fall for that.

134
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:17,271
Why don't you just kick him out?
You're the one with the name tag.

135
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,398
I can't. I need this job.

136
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,775
I owe Blockbuster 12 grand.

137
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:24,987
Return the movies.

138
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,114
But I like them.

139
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:32,369
I just have to smile and suck it up
with all of these coffee shop dickwads.

140
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,455
I'll tell you what.

141
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:38,626
You keep this cup full and my chair empty,

142
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,712
I'll handle the dickwads.

143
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,297
Whoa.

144
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,342
-You sound like Clint Eastwood.
-He sounds like me.

145
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,805
It's judgment day, bitches.

146
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,724
[rock music playing]

147
00:07:56,227 --> 00:08:00,231
I went ahead and wrote up
a missed connection ad for Ozzie.

148
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:04,401
-I thought he said he wasn't into this.
-No. I just…

149
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,279
I scratched down a few ideas
in case he changes his mind.

150
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:08,239
Okay.

151
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:15,162
"I was the ruggedly handsome Asian teen
at the wrestling convention."

152
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,123
"Facial hair a mere months away."

153
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,336
"Your face was gold. Our lips touched."

154
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:28,008
"And the thought of seeing you again
puts my heart in a headlock."

155
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,637
[laughing silently]

156
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:36,475
You want to find a missing kid,
put him on a milk carton and move on.

157
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,894
Well, now, where is your sense of romance?

158
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,646
Ah, romance is tricky.

159
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,316
Meg Ryan has an orgasm in a restaurant?
America's sweetheart.

160
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,819
I do it? Waffle House most wanted.

161
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,280
[rock riff plays]

162
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,825
Leia, what are you doing here?

163
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,996
To talk to you about your…
overall impact on my social circle.

164
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,831
What does that mean?

165
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,542
Can you please
just tell Nate to apologize to Jay?

166
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:06,005
He listens to everything you say,
and this fight's gone on way too long.

167
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,382
You seem really stressed out.

168
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,010
And a little annoying right now.

169
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,304
You wanna join me?

170
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:17,891
Okay, but I really wanna
get back to the Nate stuff.

171
00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:18,892
[Betsy] Mm-hm.

172
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,729
Wow, that is the perfect temperature.

173
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,023
And it's bubbly like hot Sprite.

174
00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:29,278
-You've gotten a pedicure before, right?
-[shakily] Yeah, I get them all the time.

175
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:33,240
Hey, just relax. You're going to love it.

176
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:34,325
Oh!

177
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:38,329
If you spread them like that,
buy those piggies a drink first.

178
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,833
Leia, stop worrying about Nate and Jay.

179
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,627
Men are gonna be men.

180
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,837
While they're down there
wrestling in the mud,

181
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,714
you and I can have a great day together.

182
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,007
I could use that.

183
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:54,011
Jay pantsed me in the park yesterday
in front of the ducks.

184
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:57,765
[rock scales ascending]

185
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:02,102
One coffee, two people.
You're out of here.

186
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:07,483
Oh! That is nice.

187
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,443
That could be in a museum.

188
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:13,489
This is not a museum.

189
00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:15,282
Get out.

190
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,287
-You're so scary. You remind me of my dad.
-Mm.

191
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,332
Can you roll a cigarette
with my report card?

192
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,668
No.

193
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,169
Just like him.

194
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:32,257
I just came out of a long relationship,
and there were warning signs I missed.

195
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,468
So I'm going to ask you
a series of questions

196
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,178
to evaluate our dating potential.

197
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,596
Okay, sounds good.

198
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,140
I'd like to get your reaction
to the word "balls."

199
00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:42,434
What kind of balls?

200
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:45,521
Baseballs or like a formal ball
where you get dressed up?

201
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,481
Incredible.

202
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:49,817
Okay, next question.

203
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,820
And this one's really hard.

204
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,990
Do you feel the need to high five?

205
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,954
You haven't asked the question yet.
I don't know if I got it right.

206
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:03,956
Oh, you did.

207
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:08,127
What do you think of
when I say Sigourney Weaver?

208
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,337
I think she has amazing range,

209
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:13,632
and she's the archetype
for female protagonists in sci-fi horror.

210
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,968
So not her bush in Alien.

211
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,387
You know,
maybe I should ask you some questions.

212
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,847
[chuckles softly]

213
00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:25,310
Morgan, when did we start
using McDonald's cups?

214
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,690
I think they only have
McDonald's cups at McDonald's.

215
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,150
Get 'em.

216
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:33,694
Door.

217
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,780
Mr. Forman, it's me, Nikki.

218
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,451
-I had lunch at your house today.
-I've never seen before you in my life.

219
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:43,454
Get along, little stranger.

220
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,748
[rock riff plays]

221
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,167
[knocking at door]

222
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,960
Yes. Pizza's here.

223
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,962
I'm starving. Come in.

224
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,590
Pizza guys don't just come in.

225
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,593
Even in a porn, someone opens the door.

226
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,346
I'm not getting up, but… I got this.

227
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,558
This isn't a porn,
so you can just come in.

228
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:06,935
Dude, that sounded weird.

229
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,521
-You're gonna scare him.
-I am not gonna scare him.

230
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,649
Nothing weird is gonna happen.

231
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:16,028
We're just two guys
sitting in the dark waiting for you.

232
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,323
And we have cash.

233
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,699
[footsteps retreating]

234
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,826
Come back. We'll do whatever you want.

235
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,662
Everything you say is out of a porn.

236
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,622
[grunts]

237
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,001
[footsteps approaching]

238
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,629
Gwen. Yes!

239
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:34,588
You saved us.

240
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,215
Who wants pizza?

241
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,008
-Me! Me!
-Yes. Give me a slice.

242
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,803
Please, give me a slice. Please.

243
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:43,889
What are you doing?

244
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,600
Yeah. You have to get up
off the couch and get it.

245
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,019
What in the actual hell?

246
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,271
Pizza is for sharing.

247
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,357
Mm.

248
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,110
Pizza. You got the crust, the cheese…

249
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,240
This is the meanest thing
you have ever done, Gwen.

250
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,785
Just end this right now
and have a pizza party with your friend.

251
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,204
He is not my friend.

252
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,039
Okay, fine.

253
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,792
-I'm good to go all night.
-Mm.

254
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,253
You sound just like your sister.

255
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:20,050
Oh, hey! Oh! Watch the hair! It's crispy!

256
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,510
It's crispy!

257
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,221
[rock music plays]

258
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,307
I know you told me not to,

259
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:30,894
but I put an ad in the paper
looking for your guy.

260
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:31,812
What?

261
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,773
I-- I never agreed to that.

262
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,984
It-- It looks desperate and cheap.

263
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,652
-[doorbell rings]
-That's him.

264
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,821
-My Golden Girl, I could kiss you.
-Oh!

265
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,490
Wait.

266
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:44,992
I'm nervous.

267
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,869
No, no. Don't be. Don't be.

268
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,078
Welcome to love.

269
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,872
It's grand. It's glorious.

270
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:52,040
It's taking forever.
Let him open the door.

271
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,379
-Hey.
-Eww. No.

272
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,134
Not him.

273
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,677
Are you sure?

274
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,806
-Did you look at him?
-This is Wisconsin.

275
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,642
Chances are, the one you're looking for
is dumpier than that one.

276
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:11,894
What are we doing here?

277
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:12,853
No, no.

278
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,230
You can't call a whole state dumpy.

279
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,317
Unless you're talking about South Dakota.

280
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,571
I couldn't tell the people from the bears.

281
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:23,572
[rock riff plays]

282
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,701
[panting hoarsely]

283
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,369
You okay?

284
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,038
That was fun.

285
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,249
I get why you like jogging,
and I like it too.

286
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:39,087
You wanna come in and have some breakfast,
and then you can tell Nate to apologize?

287
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:42,507
-Uh… Nah.
-But you told me you would.

288
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,178
[scoffs] I'm not getting involved
in some dumb basement drama.

289
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:51,350
But your brother's not talking
to his best friend because of you.

290
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,185
-Don't you care?
-No.

291
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,230
Oh. Should I say more?

292
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,359
I'm in a good situation here.

293
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:03,820
Nate follows me around,
does whatever I say.

294
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,156
Plus, I like watching boys fight.

295
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,575
One of them's your brother.

296
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:09,785
One of them's not.

297
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:15,082
Oh my God. You're a monster.
Get off my grandparents' driveway.

298
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,626
[sarcastic] Oh no. I can't be
in your grandparents' driveway.

299
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:22,714
I lied before. Jogging sucks,
and you're weird for liking it.

300
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:23,799
[rock riff plays]

301
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,134
So this is my life now.

302
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,595
I'm single, and I'm a pedicure lady.

303
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,432
Well, I thought this might
make you feel better.

304
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,143
Oh! They even give you a little massage.

305
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:37,020
The massage is eight dollars extra.

306
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,606
Now, you just enjoy your regular pedicure.

307
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,901
I didn't have one until I was in my 30s.

308
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,488
I don't have to explain myself to you.

309
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,244
-Isaac!
-Hey, Ozzie.

310
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,745
Surprise!

311
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,456
I made all this happen.

312
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,792
"But it won't work!" That's you.

313
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,752
"But it will!" That's me.

314
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:01,795
And it did.

315
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,257
-Thought I'd never see you again.
-Me too.

316
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,677
I went to two other
wrestling conventions hoping to find you.

317
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,513
And a boat show,
but that was 'cause I got the days wrong.

318
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,933
-Wanna go walk around the mall?
-I can't.

319
00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:18,562
I have to hang with my friend's grandma
and her horny neighbor.

320
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,647
Of course I want to go!

321
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,153
[mouthing] Thank you.

322
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:33,160
That was so romantic.

323
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,663
I got to live vicariously
through those kids.

324
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:42,377
It reminds me of when I first met Red,
and I hadn't heard any of his stories yet.

325
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,214
That's cool you can remember
that long ago.

326
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:49,259
This thing goes back to 1988 tops.

327
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,344
[rock music playing]

328
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,605
-[clangs]
-Bear attack! Get big!

329
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,315
[both shouting]

330
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,195
Have you ever been attacked by a bear?

331
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,112
No.

332
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,156
100% success rate.

333
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,911
You guys seriously spent
the whole night on this couch?

334
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,705
This fight is so stupid.
We are ending it now.

335
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,207
[rock riff plays]

336
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,917
What even is anger?

337
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:29,007
I get it with the Hulk. It's his job.
He gets paid for it.

338
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,718
But… I've been doing it for free.

339
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:32,803
Like some chump.

340
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,889
Somebody owes me some money.

341
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,268
There I go. Giving it away for free.

342
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,689
You know, I don't like
feeling all this… negativity.

343
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,528
Oreo never feels this way.

344
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,571
Oreo's always happy.

345
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:57,619
Even when I split him in half
and lick out his guts and eat his body.

346
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,787
[chuckles softly]

347
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,164
He never gets mad.

348
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:05,085
'Cause he knows
his friends are coming soon.

349
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,840
You're gonna make me barf.

350
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,675
And I miss that.

351
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:16,972
See, this is the real you.
Not Betsy's little bitch boy.

352
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:23,145
Dude, if you really care about her
and want to be with her,

353
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,230
I'll back off.

354
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:27,732
Yeah, bro.

355
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,609
Me too.

356
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:32,863
I don't know.

357
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:38,076
I feel completely… lost right now.

358
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,412
Guys, can I be honest?

359
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,290
I'm not even sure about this hair.

360
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,378
Of course you're lost, man.

361
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:50,338
And it's gonna be like that

362
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:53,425
until you deal with the fact
that you still love Nikki.

363
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,428
Whoa.

364
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,139
That explains literally everything.

365
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:02,976
This is why you've been singing
"Kiss from a Rose" while on the can.

366
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,103
Yeah.

367
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,815
I've been trying so hard to… move on.

368
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,152
Your sister's boobs have been
a fun distraction.

369
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,364
Every time I think I'm over Nik,

370
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,325
I'm not.

371
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:23,705
And I shouldn't be making
my problems your problems.

372
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:25,916
I'm so sorry, dude.

373
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:27,584
Hey.

374
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,878
It's not all on you, man.

375
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:33,632
I could have been chiller.
I could have been doper.

376
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,550
I could have been radder.

377
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,762
Mad regrets.

378
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:41,640
Reunited.

379
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,478
[both] By the power of Grayskull.

380
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,106
I already regret fixing this.

381
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:53,777
Oreo,

382
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,488
we need to break up with Betsy.

383
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,448
Tell your friends.

384
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,286
This is my house. You don't call me?

385
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,207
There's something
seriously wrong with Betsy.

386
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:11,419
Nate, you're not ready to hear this,
but you have to break up with her.

387
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,964
Yeah, we talked about that.

388
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:18,093
[Nate] And I ass-ked him
to be my friend again.

389
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,596
[Jay] And I ass-cepted.

390
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,767
-[both laughing]
-[rock music playing]

391
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,818
I am so sorry for your loss.

392
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:41,032
But, you know,
those are napkins, not tissues.

393
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,451
There's the door.

394
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:46,746
Thank you.

395
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,249
Hey, man, you did too good of a job.

396
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,127
-There's no one left.
-But isn't that what we wanted?

397
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,630
I mean, there's not a dickwad in sight.

398
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:59,509
Yeah, but the problem is
I don't make any money if it's empty.

399
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,344
So, you gotta go.

400
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,514
I should probably head home anyway.
See you tomorrow.

401
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,808
-No, I'm saying that you--
-Have a good night.

402
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,019
Oh! No, no, no.

403
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:12,689
We are not coming in here with that shirt.

404
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,774
Let's go. Quick march. Quick march.

405
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,026
Hup, hup, hup.

406
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:19,029
[closing theme music playing]