1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,967
[rock riff plays]

2
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,179
Thank you for letting us
put a few things in your fridge.

3
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:13,306
Thank you for letting me steal your cable.

4
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,311
Every time we have a barbecue,
she overdoes it.

5
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:22,190
Because we ran out of food, one time,

6
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:24,400
in 1976.

7
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:26,986
It still haunts me.

8
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:32,200
I watched my father
dip an empty wiener bun in ketchup.

9
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:34,243
On his deathbed, my mother said,

10
00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:38,164
"You can let go, Bert.
They won't run out of weenies in Heaven."

11
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,208
[truck horn blasting]

12
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:42,794
-Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
-[hydraulics hissing]

13
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:46,297
Is that a tow truck?
Are they repossessing your car?

14
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,882
Why would you jump to that?

15
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,259
Because it happens with some frequency.

16
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:53,054
Hey, Daddy's home.

17
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:56,057
This is Gwen's dad.
I don't call him Daddy.

18
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,183
Not anymore.

19
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:02,355
Otis, I asked you to call when you stop by
instead of surprising us like this.

20
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:05,691
Yeah, and I asked you
to stop looking so damn beautiful,

21
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,401
and you didn't listen either.

22
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,779
He did ask that.

23
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,366
I had time off
and wanted to spend it with my girls.

24
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,618
Time off? Suspended or fired?

25
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,870
Oh, something better than that, baby.

26
00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,997
I got hit by a mail truck.

27
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:22,959
Settled for 20,000 dollars.

28
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:26,671
Whoa. I only got half that
when McDonald's served me a McFinger.

29
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,633
-Dad! [laughs]
-Oh! [laughing]

30
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,761
Wait, baby doll.
Okay, we gotta do the thing.

31
00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:35,346
-What thing?
-Mm.

32
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,556
[stomping]

33
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,473
♪ War! ♪

34
00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:38,391
♪ Uh! ♪

35
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:39,725
♪ Good God, y'all! ♪

36
00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:41,686
♪ What is it good for? ♪

37
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,187
♪ Absolutely nothing! ♪

38
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,897
[both laughing]

39
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:46,524
Why are we stopping?

40
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,653
We used to sing that every night
when she was a little girl.

41
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,363
Cutest thing you ever seen.

42
00:01:52,864 --> 00:01:53,865
I'm talking about me.

43
00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:56,492
-Red Forman.
-Otis.

44
00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,661
This is my wife Kitty. We live next door,

45
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,955
and we're having a barbecue,
so come on over.

46
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,583
It is gonna be a good one. [chuckles]

47
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:07,003
Linda down the street just won't shut up
about her new tiki bar.

48
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:07,920
Haha!

49
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:12,633
But I am gonna shut her up
with a mouthful of my three-bean salad.

50
00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:13,843
Haha!

51
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,637
Gwen, help me get
my stuff out of the truck.

52
00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:19,765
Please tell me
you got rid of those naked lady mudflaps.

53
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,767
Oh, yeah, those are long gone.

54
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,311
Now, my truck has balls.

55
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:26,856
He seems fun.

56
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:30,109
He is fun. Too fun.
Things always start out great,

57
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:33,738
but then we end up back in the sack
banging like shoes in the dryer.

58
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,741
Boy, you sure have a lot of words for it.

59
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,912
Then we end up fighting,
and everything gets screwed up.

60
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,748
This time, you just won't do it.

61
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:46,751
Easy-peasy, close your kneesies.

62
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,837
Our teachers used to say that.

63
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,173
It's all we had before the pill.

64
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:56,886
Seriously, Kitty, I need your help.
Please, make sure I don't sleep with Otis.

65
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,222
-Don't worry. I'll keep you pure.
-Okay.

66
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:01,265
Starting now, obviously.

67
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,646
Mom, Dad said he was gonna teach me
how to drive the truck after the barbecue.

68
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,105
Isn't that illegal?

69
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,607
Only if we get caught.

70
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:13,319
And no one is a better teacher
than Papa Bear.

71
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,238
-Oh.
-Am I right, baby?

72
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,699
Good luck.
Things are already touching things.

73
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:20,701
[theme music playing]

74
00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,662
♪ Hanging out down the street ♪

75
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,705
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪

76
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,916
♪ Not a thing to do ♪

77
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,960
♪ But talk to you ♪

78
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,629
♪ We're all all right
We're all all right ♪

79
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,590
Hello, Wisconsin!

80
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:41,764
Why does he get to use the meat mallet?

81
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,392
That's as close
as I'll ever get to therapy.

82
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,521
I am trying to keep him away from Sherri.

83
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:53,234
And he's wearing my favorite apron.
We are all making sacrifices.

84
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,903
-Dad, this is my friend Leia.
-Hi.

85
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:59,115
I checked out your truck.
I love trucks and trucking culture.

86
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,158
Also, hello. Now, back to trucks.

87
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,287
Sorry, she just shotgunned a Capri-Sun.

88
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:09,000
A long time ago, before I had friends,

89
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:12,003
I'd kill time chatting with truckers
on my dad's CB radio.

90
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:16,590
My handle is Ratchetjaw.
I put on Christmas radio plays.

91
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,843
Santa Has to Sneeze.

92
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,761
Cookies and Milk for Dada.

93
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,515
-Doesn't ring a bell.
-Rudolph Does Dallas.

94
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,519
It's truckers. Gotta know your audience.

95
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,189
Hey, Otis, can you tie me up?

96
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,108
Ooh. Right here in the kitchen?

97
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,069
I will do that. Thank you.

98
00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,530
You are wearing half a shirt.

99
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,115
Whose side are you on?

100
00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:48,247
Red, why don't you take Otis outside
and let him man the grill?

101
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,874
My grill?

102
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,460
Absolutely not.

103
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,004
You already took away my chicken hammer.

104
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:59,008
You know, I always loved you
in a halter top.

105
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,551
And out of a halter top.

106
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,677
[laughs]

107
00:05:01,761 --> 00:05:06,223
Red! Grill! Go!
It's gonna happen in my kitchen.

108
00:05:09,602 --> 00:05:11,562
I don't know how,
but he already untied me!

109
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:15,983
Yeah.

110
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,651
[stapler clacking]

111
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,904
I used to do this to Eric's pockets

112
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,740
so kids wouldn't steal his lunch money.

113
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,992
[rock music playing]

114
00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,372
[Red shudders slightly]

115
00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:34,543
-You all right, man?
-It's just, um, difficult for me.

116
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:38,631
Because, um…
you're not doing anything right.

117
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:41,842
I can't watch.

118
00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:46,680
So, Gwen is super excited
about her truck-driving lessons.

119
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,015
And it got me thinking.

120
00:05:48,099 --> 00:05:51,143
What if I tagged along
and had an experience I'd never forget?

121
00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:53,312
Leia, this is a dad-daughter thing.

122
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,107
Yeah, I'm a daughter, he's a dad.

123
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,274
It all checks out.

124
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,153
For obvious reasons, I am not your dad.

125
00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:04,448
Come on, I wanna honk the truck horn.

126
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,991
My dad drives a Jetta.

127
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:09,286
It sounds like, "Meep-meep."
I want, "Honk!"

128
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,791
-Otis.
-Hey.

129
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,961
So, Nate. Senior year's coming up.
How's the football team looking?

130
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,004
He's the fastest guy on the team.

131
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,381
It's gonna be a bloodbath.

132
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,966
[chuckling]

133
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,467
I'm pretty scared.

134
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,846
[whining] Nate! You made my drink wrong.

135
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,347
It's ice water.

136
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:31,642
Yeah, but you put the ice in first,
and now it's all wet.

137
00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,186
New girlfriend?

138
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:38,816
Actually, I'm trying to break up with her,
but I haven't quite nailed it yet.

139
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:42,903
Look, Betsy,
this isn't really working for me.

140
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:46,449
You're great and all,
but we need to break up.

141
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:48,117
No.

142
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,661
I'm-- I'm breaking up with you.

143
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,912
Right, and I said no.

144
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:54,915
-Can you do that?
-Yes.

145
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,376
Yes, you'll break up with me.

146
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,253
-Nope.
-Cool.

147
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,380
Thanks, babe.

148
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,969
Oh yeah. I've been there.

149
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,848
You lay the pipe too clean,
the wild ones will never let you go.

150
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,392
She's my sister.

151
00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:16,061
Sorry about the pipe stuff.

152
00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:18,856
Hey, you wanna end things,

153
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:22,943
tell her you cheated on her
with that funny little truck girl.

154
00:07:24,737 --> 00:07:26,280
That's my girlfriend, man.

155
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,660
You're making this literally impossible.

156
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,246
[rock music playing]

157
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,584
Help me find a movie
for my first date with Isaac.

158
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,378
There's Homeward Bound 2:
Lost in San Francisco, which…

159
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,088
I'm dying to see.

160
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,385
-I'm never gonna tell him that.
-You can tell him that.

161
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,346
You'll just die a virgin.

162
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,059
Prettiest girl in the place
gets free fries.

163
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,106
Don't get too cocky.
There's three people in here.

164
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:06,320
Sorry, I'm jealous you're past
all the first date awkwardness.

165
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:09,448
Yeah, but what you just saw,
that is all we do.

166
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,368
I think we're both ready
to kick it up a notch,

167
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:15,621
but he's shy, and I've never had to be
the one to make the first move.

168
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,333
I get it. You're used to dating Nate,
the human erection.

169
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,711
I would look down,
and it'd just be in my hand.

170
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,381
Well, how about this for a move?

171
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,467
Next time you're at the movies,
reach for the popcorn.

172
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,719
-Reach for the popcorn?
-You know…

173
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,056
The popcorn's in his lap.

174
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,182
You reach for it

175
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:36,767
and miss.

176
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:40,437
Oh, that's a good move.

177
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:44,191
It's one of the few moves
where if you miss, you get a snack.

178
00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:47,903
Oh, we can see The Craft!

179
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:52,575
-Damn, it's rated R.
-Get someone over 18 to buy you a ticket.

180
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,410
Who would do that?

181
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,829
[video game sounds playing]

182
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,872
Man, this level is so hard!

183
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,792
You have to put in a quarter, dude.

184
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:07,381
-Hey, guys.
-[both shouting] Fozzie!

185
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,468
-It's Ozzie.
-Ozzie's not a name.

186
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,053
What about Ozzy Osbourne?

187
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:15,472
Dude, it's Fozzie Fosbourne, you idiot.

188
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:18,183
I need a favor.

189
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,268
Oh, we'll do it.

190
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,770
-I didn't say what it was.
-Well, then no way.

191
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,983
I need you to buy me and my date
tickets to an R-rated movie.

192
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,652
Sure. I've always wanted kids, man.

193
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,029
Plus, free movie.

194
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,616
-We're buying the tickets.
-Oh, kids are so expensive.

195
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,576
[rock riff plays]

196
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,330
I know you don't want to break up, but…

197
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,875
there's some new information
since yesterday.

198
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,629
Betsy… I cheated on you.

199
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:48,922
What's her name?

200
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,176
Amy Pasta.

201
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,136
She's Italian.

202
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:58,223
We did everything.

203
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,893
Even the stuff you taught me.

204
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,519
[whispers] What a betrayal.

205
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:03,479
Wow.

206
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:07,691
-It's cool you're being honest with me.
-No, it's not.

207
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,152
Can I be honest with you?

208
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:12,696
The idea of you and Amy…

209
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:15,658
It's kind of turning me on.

210
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,954
[somberly] No.

211
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:25,376
It is. And I'd be open to me, you, and Amy

212
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:29,088
getting together and making
a Nate sandwich.

213
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:35,678
You know, I think she's doing a whole
no-bread thing, but… I'll ask. [chuckles]

214
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,763
[rock music playing]

215
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,685
It's so cool you had a hook-up
to get these tickets.

216
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:45,771
-Are those old guys your friends?
-In small doses.

217
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,648
-They can be a lot.
-Hey, kids!

218
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,736
I thought we already
said goodbye out there.

219
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,447
We got worried about you guys
being in here by yourselves.

220
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,158
We didn't want you guys
sitting next to some weirdos.

221
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:03,205
Yeah, I… I think we'll be fine.
You guys really don't have to stay.

222
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,375
Here's the thing.
I've never had kids before.

223
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,418
You still don't.

224
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,755
I'm starting to have second thoughts
about letting you watch an R-rated movie.

225
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,299
I feel like me and Bunch
should be in here to cover your eyes

226
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,968
in case there's things you shouldn't see.

227
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,178
Yeah, like blood or boobs.

228
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,808
Oh, movies! The television of the theater!

229
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:26,603
Bring on the blood and boobs!

230
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,903
Why are these weenies all shriveled?

231
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,657
You put a rookie on the grill.

232
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,868
This was so preventable!

233
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:42,995
Where's Otis?

234
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:47,249
I don't know.
I was in the john. Where's Sherri?

235
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,876
I was in the jane.

236
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,632
I knew I should have stapled more things.

237
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:57,885
It wasn't my fault.

238
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:01,346
The fact that you were trying to keep us
from doing it made it even hotter.

239
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,767
You always talk about
stuff like this with your neighbors?

240
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,060
This guy's asking the right question.

241
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,023
What the hell is this?

242
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,858
I think your parents had sex.

243
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,527
Before you get upset, he started it.

244
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:18,322
Coming in here
smelling like Old Spice and diesel.

245
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,740
He knew what he was doing.

246
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,786
Dad, you were supposed
to take me out driving a half hour ago.

247
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,287
I've been waiting by the truck.

248
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,830
Well, I lost track of time.

249
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:29,291
And my pants. I gotta find those.

250
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:33,504
So typical. Every time you're here,
I fall for this like an idiot.

251
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,671
Fall for what?

252
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,090
You! And whatever crap you promised.

253
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:40,844
Hey… Don't talk like to me that.
I'm your father.

254
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,931
Really? 'Cause you're not acting like it.

255
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,686
I get it. It's lonely out on the road.

256
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,023
[rock riff plays]

257
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,948
-Are you okay?
-I'm pissed.

258
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,951
I'm too insecure not to ask this question.

259
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:05,869
Are you mad at me?

260
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,998
No. I was excited to spend
some time with my dad,

261
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,000
but he wasn't thinking about me.

262
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,003
I have the opposite problem.

263
00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:18,048
My dad's so needy,
he doesn't wanna share me with anyone.

264
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:23,262
Your opposite problem
is not helping right now.

265
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,809
You know what? Screw this.

266
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:32,145
If he doesn't wanna teach me how
to drive this thing, I'll teach myself.

267
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:36,024
What are you doing? You don't have
a commercial driver's license!

268
00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:37,359
Which requires a vision test,

269
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,444
a high school diploma,
and no criminal record.

270
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:40,779
Which you're about to have!

271
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,576
If you stay quiet, I'll let you honk
the horn when we get on the interstate.

272
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,661
[engine turns over]

273
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:50,831
Not gonna make it!

274
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,583
[truck horn blasting]

275
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,377
Good thing I'm not driving,
'cause I am drunk with power.

276
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,462
[rock music playing]

277
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,013
Hello, Amy?

278
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:10,142
My girlfriend and I are looking to add
a third person to our lovemaking.

279
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,227
[dial tone]

280
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,104
Hello? [chuckles]

281
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:18,442
Dude, these threesome
cold calls are brutal.

282
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,613
Forget that, 'cause I figured out
how you can get rid of my sister.

283
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,157
Bro, you gotta smother her.

284
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:28,285
That's dark, dude.

285
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,705
No, I… I mean with affection.

286
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,540
You got to get super clingy.

287
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,376
Kelsos hate that
because of deep-seated insecurities

288
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,212
rooted in the fact
that we're afraid to love ourselves.

289
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,423
What the hell was that?

290
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,426
My whole family went to therapy once.

291
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,803
It took 20 minutes.
She figured us out quick.

292
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,182
[sighs] I don't know.

293
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,685
I'm starting to feel like…
what's the point? [chuckles]

294
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:59,024
Nikki's dating another dude anyway.
Maybe I just stay with Betsy

295
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,277
and live a miserable life
full of threesomes.

296
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:08,075
[sighs] I want to be there for you, bro,
but again, this is my sister.

297
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:11,411
[rock riff plays]

298
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,246
How can she steal my truck?

299
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,666
Those new balls cost me 100 bucks.

300
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,626
It's called karma.

301
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,421
It's what happens
when you touch another man's grill.

302
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,677
I spoke to Dottie a few blocks down.

303
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,805
The kids are fine.
They made it as far as her house.

304
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,473
That girl's gonna get it.

305
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,851
You start it up and tag me in
when you start to lose your voice.

306
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,228
Hang on. Hang on.

307
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,483
I know… if I was
in the middle of a family crisis,

308
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,695
and a neighbor chimed in,
I would be really annoyed.

309
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:50,200
But this is different
because I have something smart to say.

310
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:54,287
Kitty, this is none of our business.

311
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:58,375
I… I just wanted
to put that on the record.

312
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,419
Go ahead.

313
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:04,673
When I had a teenage daughter,
I did a lot of yelling,

314
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,467
but I wish I could take
all those moments back.

315
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:11,972
Kids don't steal trucks
or, in my daughter's case,

316
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,643
rob a Kmart with her pastor
for no apparent reason.

317
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:23,442
Instead of yelling at Gwen,
why don't you just talk to her?

318
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,152
See what she has to say.

319
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:29,573
Kitty says smart crap like this
all the time, and then I gotta do it.

320
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,159
Such a bummer.

321
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,162
[rock riff plays]

322
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,665
Ah, such a good idea
to sneak into a different movie.

323
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:39,833
I know, I'm…

324
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,337
I'm just sorry we have to watch
Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco.

325
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,425
Can I tell you something embarrassing?

326
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,845
I actually love the first one. [chuckles]

327
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,473
I cry every time
Shadow comes over the hill.

328
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,808
You don't think he's gonna make it.

329
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,061
[whispers] But he makes it.

330
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,483
[light music playing onscreen]

331
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:26,421
Uh, you, uh… You missed.

332
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,758
-You good?
-Green light.

333
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:34,554
Excuse us! Ivan! Fozzie!

334
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:37,140
We are looking for two young boys!

335
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:42,145
Kids! Man, we were so worried,
we almost called the cops.

336
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,440
And then we remembered,
that's how the cops got us last time.

337
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,401
Plus, I've been wanting
to see Homeward Bound 2

338
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,029
since Homeward Bound 1:
The Incredible Journey.

339
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,240
Oh shit, is that Sassy?

340
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:57,410
[chuckling] Oh! No way!
What's that cat doing on a trolley?

341
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,162
[rock music playing]

342
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,670
Otis, that rig is a real panty dropper.

343
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:11,133
Some woman in a Jeep flashed us.

344
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:14,261
Now is not the time to talk trucks.

345
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,721
Well, there's never a bad time
to talk trucks.

346
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,517
Except right now.

347
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,565
I know. I'm grounded.
I'll be in my room. Here.

348
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,067
Hang on a second. I wanna talk to you.

349
00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:34,197
I'm sorry. I know I screwed up
with the driving lessons.

350
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:38,118
It's not about the driving lessons.
What's your problem with me?

351
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:41,329
-What are you talking about? I love you.
-It doesn't seem like it.

352
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,623
Every time you show up,
you screw around with Mom

353
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:44,875
and completely ignore me.

354
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,002
My relationship with your mom is

355
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,379
really complicated, okay?

356
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,714
We love each other, but--

357
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,091
This is the divorce speech.
Gotta get some new material.

358
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:57,679
Why don't you ever wanna spend time
just you and me?

359
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,389
That's not it.

360
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,224
[sighs] I don't know.

361
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,187
I'm only here a short amount of time,

362
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,607
and I don't want to do anything
to make it harder on you when I go.

363
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,276
Oh… Oh, I understand.

364
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,529
You love me so much,
you don't wanna spend time with me.

365
00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:15,906
Yeah.

366
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,116
[Otis sighs]

367
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,621
Maybe I've been telling myself
I'm protecting you

368
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:25,207
when, really, I'm just looking out for me.

369
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,209
Which is pretty bad.

370
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:32,297
And don't go saying I'm still a good dad
just to make me feel better.

371
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:34,382
No problem.

372
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,802
Well, damn. That backfired.

373
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:44,184
Listen, none of this is an excuse
for hurting you like this.

374
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:48,688
We have so little time together.
From now on, I wanna make it count.

375
00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:51,733
Me too.

376
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,110
I miss my dad.

377
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,028
I miss you.

378
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,239
Every day.

379
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,998
Last chance to give your dad a compliment.

380
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,001
I like your shirt.

381
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,589
I guess it's my turn.

382
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:16,549
I'm really sorry too.

383
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,469
I can give you 100 dollars
or maybe take you to Disneyland.

384
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,014
I thought I was gonna go first,
but he said all the good stuff already,

385
00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,809
and bottom line is,
I don't have 100 dollars on me.

386
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:29,020
[gentle music playing]

387
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,025
Can we go to the movies again tomorrow?

388
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:37,654
You know we don't have to be
at the movies for that to happen.

389
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,656
Right. Right.

390
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,118
We should get something on the books.

391
00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:45,620
We had fun too.

392
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,706
It's the best first date I've ever had.

393
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,748
-[chuckles]
-Yeah.

394
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:51,626
[sighs]

395
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,670
Why are you being so mopey?

396
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:54,796
Me?

397
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,132
I'm not mopey. I'm just…

398
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:01,386
happy that we're gonna be together
forever and ever.

399
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:05,140
And then die. Hopefully, May 1st.

400
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,476
What is even happening here?

401
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,396
Why would you not want to be with me?

402
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,316
The guys I date
are so much hotter than you.

403
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:18,194
Like, muscly firemen, restaurant managers,

404
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,697
trust fund guys with really nice wallets.

405
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,116
You're so mad.

406
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,077
Is it happening?

407
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,581
You know what? I'm leaving.

408
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,753
How can I not be good enough for you?

409
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:38,048
You keep a whoopee cushion
in your glove compartment for emergencies.

410
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,591
It's not about you.

411
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,926
That's worse!
Everything should be about me!

412
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,554
You don't get it.
I'm still in love with Nikki. Okay?

413
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:55,982
Fozzie!

414
00:21:56,483 --> 00:22:00,111
Man, we followed two different kids
home from the movie theater.

415
00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:02,655
Let me tell you.
They were less chill than you guys.

416
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:07,410
There's a weird vibe in here.

417
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,498
And most of it's coming from… you.

418
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:14,751
[warbling rock riff plays]

419
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,713
Yeah.

420
00:22:18,797 --> 00:22:20,590
[chuckling] You're doing great.

421
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:24,677
After you took out that stoplight,
you started to get the hang of it.

422
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:29,808
-Maybe I'll be like you and drive a truck.
-I take a lot of showers in truck stops.

423
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:31,518
Maybe I'll keep my options open.

424
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,311
[chuckles]

425
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:34,646
We're doing the thing.

426
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:38,024
["War" by Edwin Star playing on stereo]

427
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:40,902
-♪ I said war! ♪
-♪ Huh! ♪

428
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,320
-♪ Good God ♪
-♪ Y'all! ♪

429
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,114
♪ What is it good for? ♪

430
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:45,949
♪ Absolutely nothing! ♪

431
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,034
-♪ Sing it again, Gwen! ♪
-♪ War! ♪

432
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:48,993
Hey!

433
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,329
[vocalizing] ♪ Whoa ♪

434
00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,164
♪ …is it good for? ♪

435
00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:54,749
-♪ Absolutely… ♪
-♪ Nothing! ♪

436
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,418
♪ Ten and two, girl! ♪

437
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:57,877
♪ War! ♪

438
00:22:57,961 --> 00:22:59,421
♪ Hey, yeah! ♪

439
00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,047
["War" continues playing]

440
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:04,676
♪ War is an enemy to all mankind ♪

441
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:09,055
♪ The thought of war blows my mind ♪

442
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:14,060
♪ War has caused unrest
Within the younger generation ♪

443
00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:16,062
♪ Induction then destruction ♪

444
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:17,522
♪ Who wants to die? ♪

445
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:18,690
[vocalizing]

446
00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:21,109
♪ War! Good God, y'all ♪

447
00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:24,070
♪ What is it good for? ♪

448
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:25,572
-♪ Absolutely ♪
-♪ Nothing ♪

449
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,574
♪ Say it, say it, say it ♪

450
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:28,700
♪ War, huh! ♪

451
00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:30,368
♪ Uh-huh, yeah, huh ♪

452
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,829
♪ What is it good for? ♪

453
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,706
-♪ Absolutely ♪
-♪ Nothing ♪

454
00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:35,665
♪ Listen to me ♪

455
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:39,085
-♪ War ♪
-♪ It ain't nothing but a heartbreak ♪

456
00:23:39,169 --> 00:23:40,086
[song fades out]