1
00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:11,012
葛雯，你的喇叭褲

2
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,724
你穿喇叭褲好美
我差點都忘了我是同志

3
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:20,229
這是我在閣樓找到的
上面有各種酷玩意

4
00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:21,147
而且…

5
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:23,441
你們聽了一定會大吃一驚

6
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:24,942
我們竟然有閣樓耶

7
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,653
這就解了我好多疑惑

8
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:31,783
我有一次在跳舞時，揮拳打穿天花板

9
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,744
結果掉了一包跳跳糖和丁字褲下來

10
00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:38,456
我還以為房屋都是用那些東西蓋的

11
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,333
你怎麼能這麼怡然自得？

12
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,128
昨天我才看著你
在心愛的女人面前羞辱自己

13
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,089
聽說超丟臉的

14
00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:49,008
比我在佳節音樂祭上吐兩次還丟臉

15
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,095
我還得賠新拖把給學校耶

16
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:57,308
我也不知道，我覺得還不錯

17
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,976
現在小妮知道我的感受了

18
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,853
她男友很火大

19
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:02,814
也就表示我看起來酷斃了

20
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,899
知道還有誰也酷斃了嗎？

21
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,151
藍波

22
00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:13,074
終於找到你這個蠢貨了
你到底有什麼毛病？

23
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,534
你愛我？

24
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:15,868
真是滿嘴狗屁

25
00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:18,913
你只是受不了看到我跟別人在一起

26
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,582
小妮，這是真的，看著我的臉

27
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,421
你每次在樹林小便，都是這個表情

28
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:31,259
你知道我最愛在樹林小便
這正證明了我的論點

29
00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:34,929
我沒理由相信你說的任何一句話

30
00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:36,848
你曾差點跟莉亞接吻

31
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,683
還在朋友面前甩掉我

32
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,644
現在故意說你愛我，好跟貝琪分手

33
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,522
今年暑假好瘋狂
我都忘記他跟莉亞接吻了

34
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,941
差點而已

35
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,153
我現在甚至沒辦法和你共處一室

36
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,451
她的記憶力好強

37
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,163
很性感吧？

38
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:06,752
街頭漫步閒晃，生活一成不變

39
00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:11,215
無所事事，只和你聊

40
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,843
我們都好

41
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,803
威斯康辛，你們好

42
00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:16,721
《90 年代秀》

43
00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:20,474
拜託哦

44
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:26,564
琪蒂，我又找到你的一張超速罰單

45
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,940
藏在冰箱保鮮櫃裡

46
00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,650
我可以解釋

47
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,946
我又收到超速罰單
就藏在冰箱保鮮櫃裡了

48
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,575
這是你今年第三次收到罰單了

49
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,536
我們的保費會被提高

50
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:46,000
現在我還得打給保險經紀人
拿出我的好男人聲音

51
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,128
“瑪莎，你好

52
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,464
你老公好嗎？”

53
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:52,423
殺了我吧

54
00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:55,593
第三張罰單？

55
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,969
這樣駕照會被吊銷哦

56
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,054
什麼？

57
00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,223
不行，我不能失去駕照

58
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,142
就快開學了，到時候我要怎麼上班？

59
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,061
還有賓果遊戲要參加耶

60
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:10,024
女生只有在那個地方可以尖叫

61
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,527
說不定你會被饒過，你開多快？

62
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:17,573
不知道，電台播起輕快音樂
我就跟著快起來了

63
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,954
我帶莉亞去串珠店就是這種下場

64
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,581
她以為我愛那些自製手鍊

65
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:26,999
我大概有好幾千條

66
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:29,919
看起來就像用一條線串著牙齒

67
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,755
等一下，莉亞也在車上？

68
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,092
叫她亂編說詞告訴法官讓你脫罪

69
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,219
你是要我叫她說謊嗎？

70
00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:41,681
她太可愛了，我開不了口

71
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,140
我家孩子時常做這種事

72
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:46,227
他們曾讓我逃過公衆酩酊罪
公衆小便罪

73
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,812
公眾舌吻警察罪

74
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,232
我愛聖派翠克節

75
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:58,114
你們能相信鮑勃搬家前
留這麼多東西在這上面嗎？

76
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:00,241
這根本就是70年代時空膠囊

77
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:07,164
衣服、唱片，還有一瓶白…板？

78
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,627
要不是我穿這套那麼好看

79
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:14,005
我一定會因為
和鮑勃體型一樣而尷尬至死

80
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,717
你真的認為我和妮琪還有機會嗎？

81
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,262
當然，她要是不在乎
才不會那麼激動

82
00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,098
她沒說她不愛你

83
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:27,101
而是說她不相信你愛她

84
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,312
你得讓她相信

85
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:30,396
這我辦得到

86
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,774
畢竟我曾說服一匹馬，相信我也是馬

87
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:35,776
找到鞋子了

88
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,156
該死，鎖上了

89
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,909
鞋子除非超好看，不然絕對不會上鎖

90
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,871
要是我大獻殷勤呢？

91
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:52,001
像是高舉音響
或是裝滿整個浴缸的蝦子？

92
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,587
就這麼辦，非常好

93
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,800
千萬不要，但獻殷勤確實是正道

94
00:04:59,884 --> 00:05:02,470
哥，她有男友，一定不會喜歡

95
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,347
那為何每部浪漫喜劇都有這種劇情？

96
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,140
因為那些電影的編劇是男性

97
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,476
誰比男性更瞭解女性？

98
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,693
我很淡定

99
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:30,039
香蕉麵包、桃子派、巧克力華夫餅

100
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,624
起士通心麵、通心起司麵

101
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,502
兩種大不相同，都很好吃，吃吧

102
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,006
奶奶，這是怎麼回事？
你在為感恩節做練習嗎？

103
00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:41,258
那種事我只會在晚上等大家睡著再做

104
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,719
這一桌是為你準備的

105
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,596
說件不相干的事

106
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,556
記得上個禮拜

107
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,726
奶奶超速收到討厭的罰單嗎？

108
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:54,647
是說你衝回家
看《歡笑一籮筐》結尾的那次嗎？

109
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,817
我一定要看看
“小貓對生日蛋糕打噴嚏”

110
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,318
能不能再撐一週

111
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:05,408
我希望你能陪我上法庭
捏造一些細節

112
00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:06,951
好讓我躲過一劫

113
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,702
你要我說謊？

114
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,497
不是說謊，是捏造

115
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,625
我也捏了一些軟糖哦

116
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:19,463
因為我為你付出從不多問

117
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,299
這不是違背你對我的教誨嗎？

118
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,969
你現在倒想當乖女孩了

119
00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:29,723
我聽過你在房間和傑伊打鬧嘻笑

120
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:35,146
拜託，奶奶，在法庭撒謊很嚴重耶

121
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,063
我辦不到

122
00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:41,193
拜託，只是交通法庭而已
又不是重大刑案

123
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,406
（妮琪）

124
00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:47,825
這才叫獻殷勤嘛

125
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:48,951
（內特愛妮琪）

126
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:53,414
這畫得還滿有道理的
因為我的體型比她大多了

127
00:06:56,459 --> 00:07:00,087
搞什麼鬼？妮琪是我女友
你為什麼要在這亂畫？

128
00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:01,380
這叫言論自由

129
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,091
不喜歡的話就去反對忠誠宣誓啊

130
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,010
我兄弟懂很多

131
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,264
給我塗掉，不然就來打架

132
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:13,058
小心點，這些話是在找我打架哦

133
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,144
本來就是啊

134
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,272
好，現在就來啊

135
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,774
放馬過來

136
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,737
我正要去彩排，所以沒空跟你打

137
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,156
-四點怎麼樣？
-不行

138
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,283
我要和我媽去買開學用品

139
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,493
對啊

140
00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:34,038
我今天挑的鞋子要穿一年耶

141
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,664
所以不能隨便

142
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,333
延到五點吧

143
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:40,920
那要看我們第三幕演多久
不是每個人都會背稿演出

144
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:43,380
明明劇本都已經拿到一個月了耶

145
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,049
那七點半怎麼樣？

146
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,634
-好
-好

147
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,177
-好
-好

148
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,974
-最後一次是我說的
-太成功了

149
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,851
你一定會痛扁他

150
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,978
我一定會確保妮琪看到這幅畫

151
00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:01,815
你只要等她投向你的懷抱就行了

152
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,777
沒人的手段比你高超

153
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,488
敢惹最屌的人，就給我去死吧

154
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,327
你還好嗎？

155
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,162
羅恩叔叔？

156
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,041
你先躺一下

157
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:28,676
天啊，我都忘記這上面有這些東西了

158
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,053
我們在收拾房子的時候

159
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,389
我鑽不進閣樓通道

160
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,559
-你放縱變胖？
-相反

161
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,186
我是健身狂，還用藥鍛鍊

162
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,649
類固醇、生長激素、馬睾酮

163
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:50,197
那些藥會讓蛋蛋縮小
但我的肩膀變得像炮彈一樣大顆

164
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,408
真有趣

165
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,994
你到底記不記得那個箱子的密碼？

166
00:08:55,077 --> 00:09:01,083
當然，32、27、36

167
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:03,210
蜜姬的三圍

168
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:08,632
等等，那是我們幫她隆乳之前

169
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,808
裡面都是家族回憶耶

170
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,311
老頭，你把鞋子藏哪？

171
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,690
這是我們帶唐娜去迪士尼樂園時
她穿的洋裝

172
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,612
其實只是在雜貨店外騎騎小馬而已

173
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:32,740
不過小孩子嘛…就是好騙

174
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,661
這是蜜姬手術前後的照片耶

175
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,872
真是個天使

176
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,125
看看那對木蘭飛彈

177
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:48,297
一萬元獎金的得主是

178
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,965
“小貓對生日蛋糕打噴嚏”

179
00:09:50,049 --> 00:09:55,471
好耶，因為那是《歡笑一籮筐》
最令人歡笑的影片

180
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:03,854
沒有比“老奶奶滑倒上空”好笑

181
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:08,484
那才叫一錯再錯，自作自受

182
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,445
我們三個必須談談

183
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:15,282
爺爺，奶奶一直逼我上法庭說謊

184
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:17,076
也不能說是逼啦

185
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,952
我在枕頭下找到這張字條

186
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,747
“做好該做的事，我知道你睡哪”

187
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,457
琪蒂，你沒搞錯吧？

188
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,836
你計劃把孫女拖下水？

189
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,005
我喜歡

190
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,216
你也要我說謊？

191
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,093
要是那張罰單銷不掉

192
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:37,971
我們的保費一個月就要漲兩百元

193
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:43,018
我不知道你認為你的道德值多少

194
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:46,397
但絕對不到一個月兩百元

195
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,899
你們究竟是誰？

196
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,238
（《點域鎮追緝令》）

197
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,538
我好愛我們穿情侶裝

198
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,000
我們應該停車拍張聖誕節用的照片

199
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,336
琪蒂，我們在出任務

200
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:12,131
對哦，暴力任務

201
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,385
知道我愛巴黎哪裡嗎？

202
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,512
那些細微的差異

203
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,264
例如麥當勞

204
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,100
記得他們怎麼稱呼4盎司牛肉堡嗎？

205
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,228
皇家牛肉堡

206
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,314
他們是怎麼想出那種名稱的？

207
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,317
歐洲好聰明

208
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,446
那裡是用公制單位

209
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,115
他們不會知道什麼叫4盎司

210
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,705
下次再去歐洲的話，我想去荷蘭

211
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,833
知道他們吃薯條不沾番茄醬
而是沾什麼嗎？

212
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:48,876
什麼？

213
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,836
美乃滋

214
00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:55,048
我在電視上看過

215
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,968
他們猛沾那種鬼東西

216
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,640
你們嚇死我了

217
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,601
你想一想

218
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:09,563
好好想一想

219
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,777
我們去兜兜風

220
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,862
我看過水塔了，傑伊

221
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,531
有看到他寫“內特愛妮琪”那部分嗎？

222
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,618
拜託，妮琪

223
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,287
我從頭到尾都在內特身邊見證

224
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:26,872
他愛你

225
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,248
如果真是這樣

226
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:31,710
他就會想到
他的那些狗屁最後總是害我受傷

227
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,797
我現在和跟我同樣程度的人
在談成熟的戀愛

228
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,090
要是我教他和我一樣成熟呢？

229
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,511
你以為金剛戰士是真的耶

230
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:45,098
總有一天金剛戰神會攻擊我們
你就會跪地求饒

231
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:47,810
我跟你沒話好說了

232
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,186
我問個問題

233
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,980
假設兩男為一女打架

234
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:55,484
贏的人可以得到她當戰利品
你有什麼看法？

235
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,612
等等，什麼？內特要跟西歐打架？

236
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,239
今晚七點半

237
00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:02,366
為什麼那麼晚？

238
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,495
別問了，簡直就是安排行程大災難

239
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,752
我完全無法說服莉亞

240
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:17,130
我們對她的教養太正確
現在得付出代價了

241
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:21,677
要嘛就是跟法官上床
不然就是想辦法博同情

242
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,345
兩招都有用，其中一招比較有趣

243
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,182
法官為什麼會同情我？

244
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,060
看看這頭髮、皮膚，我閃閃發光耶

245
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:34,147
要不要穿上復健鞋
誇張表現你的腳踝舊傷？

246
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,358
全力以赴，編個背景故事

247
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:41,029
-關鍵是你要全心投入
-我不確定我辦不辦得到

248
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,197
進來吧，老伴

249
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,282
謝謝老伴

250
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:45,826
糟糕

251
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:51,665
這輛比以前那輛有力，糟糕

252
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,166
過來這邊

253
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,297
抱歉，非常抱歉

254
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,339
我來了

255
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:02,259
瑞德，有東西卡住了

256
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,308
蜜姬，我還能聞到你的髮膠味耶

257
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:14,521
我沒辦法對女性說，但我一直都在用

258
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,818
我們現在所見證的
是使用類固醇的長期影響

259
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,071
鮑勃外公

260
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,908
我們先下樓吧

261
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:29,453
你一定又餓又渴，或是該上廁所了

262
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,537
不用了

263
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:35,042
我在這找到一瓶以前的醃醬瓜
所以三個需求都解決了

264
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,879
拜託，外公，你不能永遠待在這

265
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,715
熟食店的火腿哥會想你

266
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,844
泡在這些舊東西裡

267
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:49,890
讓我回到人生最快樂的時光

268
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:52,309
我要是下樓

269
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,311
那種感覺就沒了

270
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,858
我之所以還在這，單純是因為
我想要他拿來擦淚的那條圍巾

271
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:07,074
雖然人生很瘋狂
會讓人往各種不同方向跑

272
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:08,951
但那只是雜音

273
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,038
最重要的是家人

274
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,375
無論如何都要全家一條心

275
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:18,877
無論如何？

276
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,088
永遠都要

277
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,805
好濕哦

278
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,603
沒錯，我提早幾分鐘到了

279
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:38,772
因為這次彩排是今年最順利的一次

280
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,607
開始吧

281
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,276
我甚至還能讓你打第一拳

282
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,319
來啊

283
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:48,281
一、二、三、四

284
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,158
-一、二…
-你在做什麼？

285
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,495
我在喚醒我的四肢

286
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,288
我練過打戲

287
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,499
你可能會認出
這招是出於《威尼斯商人》

288
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,088
你是說《淘氣阿丹》嗎？

289
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,466
要不要來點《西城故事》？

290
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,971
兄弟，你現在還學大力水手？

291
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,514
可以直接開打嗎？

292
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,017
我要上了

293
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,398
這是在搞什麼鬼？

294
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,403
你為什麼那麼優雅地抱著我男友？

295
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:34,161
526號案件，琪蒂佛曼

296
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,163
我在這，法官大人

297
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,130
現在在這

298
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,635
你被開超速罰單

299
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,889
在街道開時速120公里？

300
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:56,016
法官大人，我絕對不會超速

301
00:16:56,099 --> 00:17:00,896
我差點失去一隻腳之後
每天對我來說都很珍貴

302
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:07,527
我不想多說發生了什麼事
或是我救了多少條人命

303
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,362
還沒輪到你說話

304
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:10,822
五條，總共五條命

305
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,076
我來了

306
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:15,786
我可以跟奶奶說幾句話嗎？

307
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,245
當然可以，寶貝

308
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,288
當然不行

309
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,957
我不知道該聽誰的話

310
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,375
這是我的法庭

311
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,293
異議

312
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,963
她是我孫女

313
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,092
那我可以同時和你們兩個說話嗎？

314
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,384
准了

315
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:37,224
我察覺了來這裡陪你才是正確的事

316
00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,643
家人永遠要擺第一

317
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,312
寶貝孫女

318
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,522
不對勁

319
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,525
那是琪蒂的懊悔表情

320
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,445
她每次和你聊到停不下來
我就會看到那個表情

321
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,741
我實在不該叫你這麼做

322
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:55,784
對不起

323
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,745
我對一切都很抱歉

324
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:01,498
繼續吧，有罪還無罪？

325
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,415
有罪

326
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:06,461
超速有罪，當奶奶也有罪

327
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:13,677
歸還影片時也不好心，都沒幫忙倒帶

328
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:19,057
我本來不打算這麼做
但聽到最後一件事讓我很火大

329
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,309
吊扣駕照60天

330
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,436
不！

331
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,188
那是兩個月

332
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,065
那就沒什麼了

333
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:29,609
你想要更多天嗎？

334
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,820
-奶奶，別說話
-上車，孫女

335
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,167
抱歉，法官大人
這輛車有時候會有點…

336
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,627
抱歉，真的很抱歉

337
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,005
我不是故意的

338
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:51,590
好，再見

339
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,386
我最好去確保她不會摔下樓梯

340
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:02,017
-再見，傑茲納法官
-雪莉，每次跟你合作都很愉快

341
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,526
西歐，我還以為你會比較成熟

342
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,569
我也是這麼想

343
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,196
我好無言

344
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,823
這真的很令人失望

345
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:20,118
我對你期望那麼深
結果你也只是個巨嬰

346
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,829
他才巨嬰，他都穿他媽買的衣服耶

347
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,707
不准提到我媽咪

348
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,418
至少他很坦誠

349
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:31,463
你更糟，你是隱藏版的巨嬰

350
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,673
只是演得很成熟

351
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:36,760
等等，你是在稱讚我的演技嗎？

352
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,639
謝謝，表現能得到認可真的太棒了

353
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:44,100
噁心，不行，我們一定要分手

354
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,353
你竟然選他不選我

355
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,897
看來就是那麼回事

356
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,442
你如果有看過《威尼斯爛人》
就會知道了

357
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,697
應該真的是那麼回事吧？

358
00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,157
拜託別鬧了

359
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,994
小妮，我真的很愛你

360
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:04,955
我知道

361
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,499
但我已經不愛你了

362
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,963
是暫時還是永遠？

363
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,679
-懂了
-好

364
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,309
你會沒事的

365
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,482
你知道我能痛扁他吧？

366
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,276
就連我也能痛扁他

367
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,700
鮑勃，你搞什麼？記得洗衣服啦

368
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,869
我有很多衣服

369
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:48,498
但現在只有這身衣服會讓我快樂

370
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:50,583
你還好嗎？

371
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:54,004
平心而論，我確實很不好

372
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,423
鮑勃，你有聽說嗎？

373
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,801
我因為不是我犯的錯而失去駕照了

374
00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:05,432
所以需要有人載我，一定會很好玩

375
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,979
街頭

376
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,774
漫步閒晃

377
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,403
生活

378
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,073
一成不變

379
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,953
無所事事

380
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:30,457
只和你聊

381
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:35,086
我們都好

382
00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,505
威斯康辛，你們好

383
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,591
（威斯康辛－美國的乳品產地）

384
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:19,631
字幕翻譯：韓仁耀