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A NETFLIX SERIES
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Dead people are dead.
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I don't believe
they observe us from above,
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so I don't get funerals.
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They're a pain in the ass.
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Come on! Have some respect.
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I'm not being argumentative.
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It's what they are.
The priest does the whole spiel…
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The Lord is my shepherd.
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He leads me beside still waters,
and then I'm bored like no other.
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His job is to help you
drown your sorrows with that dirge
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until your ears bleed.
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Four hours later, you're all dried up
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and bored of crying.
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I already feel a lump in my throat.
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-Oh, wow.
-I mean it!
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A lump in your throat is no fucking use!
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You need to go all-out.
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GRIEF
A GUIDE FOR ALL
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You need to fill up
two jugs of tears and snot.
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You mix it up for a half hour
until it becomes nice and frothy,
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otherwise the mucus settles on the bottom.
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Do we really have to dwell
on our guts and bodily fluids?
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Yes, we must!
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You need to get it all out.
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It's how you get rid of grief.
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{\an8}Have you noticed how similar
the words "catharsis" and "catarrh" are?
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{\an8}One comes from Greek
and the other is Latin.
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{\an8}Who the fuck cares?
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Two major ancient civilizations
came together on the same idea.
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Who do you think you are
to question the whole thing?
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I reflect on this idea
of priests, tears, and catharsis
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and I realize it has nothing to do
with the reason why we're here.
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This is a sports center, not a church.
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There's a boxing ring
in place of the altar.
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And I know we're here because
Alice was obsessed with boxing,
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but I don't think
it's a solemn enough location
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for all the priest's dirges
that should make me cry.
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Do you think this is the right place
for people to cry?
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I feel like I should be crying after
spending 300 euros on a train ticket.
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You don't go to a funeral
just so you can cry.
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Sarah was right, of course.
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There's another reason you go to funerals.
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Or to some funerals.
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You hope to find an answer.
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We've been looking for one since Tuesday
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since the phone calls started.
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You don't know what to say,
what words to use,
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how to answer the questions…
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Wanna get an ice cream?
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Come on! It's a funeral!
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I suggested an ice cream,
not to touch ourselves.
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Is it disrespectful?
Is Alice lactose-intolerant?
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That wasn't the question.
It was a deeper one.
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Why did she do it?
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There must have been a reason.
You eat because you're hungry.
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You're hungry because you skipped lunch.
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There are reasons, explanations…
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It must be someone's fault.
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People must have a reason
for killing themselves.
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She must have had a reason.
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Sorry I have to be the one to tell you,
but there's no simple answer.
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Guess what?
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There is never one clear-cut reason
that leads someone to suicide.
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That's bullshit.
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Or a convenient lie.
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In real life,
unless you're hiding in a hut,
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you're all out of ammunition,
and ISIS is coming for you…
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In that case you blow yourself up,
there's no alternative.
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In any other situation,
I've never known of anyone
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killing themselves for one simple reason.
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There's no "A leads to B" correlation.
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It's a giant muddle of reasons
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that the person cannot make sense of,
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let alone other people.
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What do you mean?
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How can there not be an answer
that helps us to not go crazy?
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It's insane that
we can't understand the reason.
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She was one of us.
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You were her friend.
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I was close to her too, you know.
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Of course, we were both insane
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and we kept pointlessly
chasing each other.
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But we were close.
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Well, she chased you and you ran away.
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First, what do you know?
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Second, I may not have
jumped all over her,
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but she didn't give anything away either.
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I'm not criticizing. I respect that.
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Making the first move is so risky.
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That's why neither of us ever did.
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Are you being serious?
93
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She tried hundreds of times!
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-What?
-For fuck's sake!
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She kept asking you to go out for a smoke
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and you always said, "I don't smoke."
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She asked you to write a story for her
as she hoped you'd open up…
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SEND
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…and you sent her the gruesome
story about the tripping kid.
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FINISHED IT, HOPE YOU LIKE IT
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Before she left Rome,
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she tried calling you for a whole day.
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She wanted to tell you all this
before coming back here,
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but you vanished for two weeks!
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There's a limit to how much bullshit
you can tell yourself!
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I am floored. I have no words.
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I try to make sense of all these facts,
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but it's like the H bomb
went off in my head.
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It's scary
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looking at your own life
and not recognizing yourself.
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You always saw it as a silly rom-com
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with Hugh Grant
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about two indecisive people
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who keep flirting over a long time.
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But now…
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you see an idiot
who spent 20 years wriggling away
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without ever taking
an ounce of responsibility.
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I can't feel my legs.
I'm crippled by anxiety.
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I was playing detective,
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looking for reasons
and trying to find a motive.
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But I'm the serial killer
who goes to the funeral of his victim.
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I know I didn't kill her,
I'm not that stupid.
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But now I think I might have been
a reason for her to stay.
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I could have given her something…
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Her dad is talking.
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BRUISES AND SWEAT ARE OUR STORY
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Alice was such a sensitive girl.
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She'd internalize all the pain
she saw around her.
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She didn't want to take advantage
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of people around her,
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she didn't want to live like that.
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Maybe that's why she wasn't able
to find a place in the world
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that had been promised to her.
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That we had promised her,
because we believed it would happen.
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Alice wanted to work and be of service.
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She felt defeated
when she had to leave Rome
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because she couldn't pay her rent
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and had to move back here with us.
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She suffered from
her lack of independence.
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But Alice was a lot more than that.
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She was more than her pain.
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Alice was full of enthusiasm.
143
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She kept volunteering with children,
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and in her last years
she had found a love for boxing.
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I was against it.
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I couldn't understand
why she wanted to box.
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I wasn't keen on my daughter
being punched in the face.
148
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She'd say that in life
we all get punched in the face anyway,
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and she wanted to learn
to take those punches and to fight back.
150
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,120
She'd rather grow old
with a face full of scars
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than with that of a doll,
a face that never aged.
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Boxing was her lifeline. For a while.
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Our daughter was not a victim.
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She was a fighter, like our whole family.
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She suffered a lot.
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But she was more than that.
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Her life was more than that.
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Such moving words, but fuck it.
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00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,440
All that's going around my head is…
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"It's all my fault,
from Jesus on the cross to 9/11."
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{\an8}EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT
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Sarah's words keep echoing in my head.
163
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And I'd like to say…
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This is bullshit! You made this all up!
165
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But I can't even convince myself.
166
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Come on, have the bare minimum
of emotional honesty.
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Not even a Jesuit would have
the balls to go for that.
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I need to get some air.
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I keep thinking
Alice could've still been here.
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Maybe had I stepped forward
and took charge,
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she wouldn't have met that asshole.
172
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Maybe had I been a bit braver,
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had I been the person
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that could give her a reason to stay…
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Will you stop that?
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Shut the fuck up!
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It's like when you were little,
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you think you're omnipotent
and can do anything.
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You said Alice
was waiting for me to step up.
180
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,280
Of course I feel guilty!
181
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I didn't say she killed herself
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because you wouldn't fuck her!
183
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I gave you the facts
184
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and you feel guilty
because you're an egomaniac
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and you want to steal the show.
This is not your movie!
186
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There's no need to be an asshole.
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You were her friend.
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Maybe at one point she wanted to fuck you,
189
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and then she wanted
to eat ice cream with you.
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At times you made her laugh,
or you made her angry.
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00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,640
That's people.
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But you had no control
over whether she lived or died.
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It was her choice.
194
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Can you at least leave her that?
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Okay, Sarah wins this one.
196
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I do believe in self-determination.
197
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,080
Now I feel like an egotistical moron
198
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,480
and I'm ashamed of my own thoughts.
199
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,760
Confusion, shame, second thoughts.
200
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,680
I change the subject
so Sarah won't realize how lost I am.
201
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,440
Then why the fuck did we come?
202
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,600
We can't cry. There are no answers.
203
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,360
We could have taken a trip
somewhere closer.
204
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,040
We had to be here to get closure.
205
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,320
When you get stabbed
206
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and then stitched up,
it doesn't stop hurting,
207
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,280
but the bleeding stops
and the tissue starts scarring.
208
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,000
Great, a coroner-style answer.
209
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,440
I don't see why
I should travel 400 miles to get a scar,
210
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,200
but I don't have the strength to reply.
211
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,000
I'm still thinking over
212
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,040
Alice's every move
that I never noticed over 20 years.
213
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,440
Did you know that Alice kind of liked me?
214
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,360
Yes.
215
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,640
What do you mean? Who told you?
216
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,800
She did.
217
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,080
That day you wouldn't answer,
she called me and we hanged.
218
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,560
What the fuck did you do?
219
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,280
We got an ice cream.
220
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,320
What did she say?
221
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,680
Lots. She went on for four hours.
222
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,160
She needed to vent. I told her
you're an ass and that you ignore me too
223
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,720
but that we're friends anyway.
224
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,200
Why didn't you tell me?
225
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,600
It's been two years,
and now she's killed herself.
226
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:26,360
You should have answered the phone!
I'm not your secretary.
227
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,400
All right, I was the only one
who was fucking clueless.
228
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,960
You didn't even know we had a thing
at the time I introduced her to you.
229
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,600
What? Was Alice gay too?
230
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,640
Half gay. Not enough. But I'm flexible.
231
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,000
What do you mean?
232
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,640
Did you fight because of me?
233
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,800
Are you saying I ruined your thing…
234
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,120
Don't start that shit up again!
235
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,160
I'm telling you
because people are complicated.
236
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They have hidden sides,
237
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behaviors that are motivated by reasons
238
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,760
that you can't see from the outside.
239
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,440
We see a very small part
of what they are, inside and out.
240
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,520
And we can do very little.
241
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,280
We're blades of grass, remember?
242
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,960
I'm so confused.
And I feel like an egotistical moron.
243
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,120
I know the blade of grass thing is true,
it makes sense,
244
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,320
but it's not as calming
as it had been 30 years ago.
245
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,360
I look around
246
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,240
and I think we look more like old rags.
247
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,200
ALL FOR ONE, A RING FOR ALL
FUNDRAISING GYM DAY
248
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,160
Old, thin rags, much like our own lives.
249
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,760
And we're stupid too,
250
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,880
because we keep comparing
our lives to the lives of others
251
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,920
that seem so perfectly cut,
neat, and tidy,
252
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,880
but maybe it's only
because we see them from afar
253
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,600
and we're staring
at these pointless scraps of paper…
254
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,360
that are not the cut-out shape
we thought they would be.
255
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,560
If Saint Peter showed up
256
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,920
and asked me about the shape
of the people in my life…
257
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,640
I presume Saint Peter asks
fucked-up questions.
258
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,000
TODAY
ORAL TEST
259
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,200
I'd say…
260
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,720
The shape of a girl
who wanted to be a teacher
261
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,640
and spent her life chasing that dream
and cutting along that line.
262
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,560
But now her life is melting in her hands,
263
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,600
day after day,
in a fucking office outside the city
264
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,520
as she brings coffee to people
who don't even know her name.
265
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,160
The shape of someone
constantly on the brink,
266
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,400
with the sword of Damocles above his head.
267
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,480
And if he has electricity,
268
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,000
it's only because
he had a good hand at poker
269
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,720
{\an8}or because the other players are shit.
270
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,000
{\an8}(NO IDEA WHAT POKER LOOKS LIKE)
271
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,120
Maybe I'd tell Saint Peter…
272
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,320
I don't know if this fight
is still going on,
273
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,640
or if what's done is done
274
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,600
and we figured out
you can survive with a badly cut shape,
275
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,680
accepting we'll never play
for the Neat and Tidy team.
276
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,680
But we can still huddle around the fire
277
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,480
and remember that, in the end,
278
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,880
paper can still keep us warm.
279
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,000
And sometimes that is enough.
280
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,920
Sometimes it's not.
281
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,440
Are you the guys from Rome?
282
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,040
Alice's mom wants you to go back in.
There's something you might like.
283
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,960
We don't know what Alice
would have wanted for a day like today.
284
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,240
But we know
how proud she was of her children
285
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,480
and how proud they were of her.
286
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,120
That's why we still like
listening to their voices.
287
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,240
Come on, kids!
288
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,040
Alice, tell us the story of the prince!
289
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,680
I will, if you're quiet.
290
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,560
It's the story of Zeta,
a kid who doesn't want morning to come
291
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,360
because the night before his mom told him…
292
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,880
Tomorrow you've got to go buy milk.
293
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,240
And who's always around the shop?
294
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,400
The Tripping Prince!
295
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160
That's right! The Tripping Prince!
296
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,840
Everyone knows he's dangerous.
297
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,400
Nobody wants to go to the shop.
298
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,840
Zeta's girlfriend Veruska tells him…
299
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,040
If you die, can I have your rabbit?
300
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,240
-The morning after…
-What a nice story.
301
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,840
Zeta doesn't meet anyone.
302
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,080
Maybe the prince is sick.
303
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,800
No, all of a sudden a shadow appears,
with very long legs.
304
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,280
-Wanna get an ice cream?
-It's the prince!
305
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,640
The prince!
306
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,560
Half Tail the Cat runs away
to avoid being tripped over.
307
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:23,000
Zeta tries to cross the road,
but then he can't. And what happens?
308
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,760
He gets tripped over!
309
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:25,960
It happened.
310
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,040
He fell down like a sack of potatoes.
They all saw him.
311
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,240
Is he hurt?
312
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,760
A little, but it'll get better.
313
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,240
Is his knee bleeding?
314
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,360
A little, but the day after,
there's a scar already.
315
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,120
Alice, when does the scar heal?
316
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,880
The scar never heals.
317
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,040
It's like a medal
that nobody can take from you.
318
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,840
So, once Zeta is all grown up
and isn't scared of the prince anymore,
319
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:58,360
he will remember
that he lived so many adventures,
320
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,560
that he fell and got back up again.
321
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,640
Why does the scar not heal?
322
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,120
Because it's a scar.
323
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,520
You can't just wash it away.
324
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:11,120
It's scary, but it's a good thing too.
325
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,720
It's life.
326
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,120
If you or someone you know
is struggling with thoughts of suicide,
327
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,600
crisis resources are available
at www.wannatalkaboutit.com.
328
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,760
I'll go take a walk.
329
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,960
Truce.
330
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,280
Just for today, all right?
331
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,920
It happened.
332
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,120
Yes.
333
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,560
Moron.
334
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,800
-What about the truce?
-It starts now.
335
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,440
Subtitle translation by: Luisa Zamboni