1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,421
["Bad Decisions" playing]

2
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,767
[music continues]

3
00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:35,202
- [Connor snorts, grunts]
- [music stops]

4
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,080
Hey.

5
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,833
You hungry?

6
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,961
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!

7
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,546
- This was a mistake. Sorry.
- [sighs]

8
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,298
No, it's not you. I'm just...
Oh, my God. I'm such a piece of shit.

9
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,466
No, you aren't.

10
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,219
Summer's my best friend, okay?
And she can never know about this,

11
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,138
and no one can ever know
about this at all. I--

12
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,642
Morning, big guy.
Egg sammie, coming in hot.

13
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,519
Did you get some sleep?

14
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,981
- Yep.
- Let's go. It's a beautiful day.

15
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,109
He doesn't knock?

16
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,319
Not when egg sammies are hot.

17
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,154
You should have seen Sean's face.

18
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,032
He was so pissed and devastated.

19
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,869
It was just like when I found out
I was having a third boy.

20
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,328
Hey, don't beat yourself up.

21
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,663
Who hasn't sold their company

22
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,665
to their partner's
estranged father before?

23
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,584
- Why would you say that?
- 'Cause you made a joke,

24
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,294
so I thought...
I thought we was in joke mode, so I--

25
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,547
- No, I can make the jokes. You can't--
- Okay. Calm down. Come here.

26
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,716
Give me a hug. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Come here, come here,

27
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:35,052
come here, come here, come here.
You gonna get through this, okay?

28
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,095
- [softly] Fuck.
- [Liz] Yeah.

29
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,139
Now can I make a joke,
since your face is in my nanas?

30
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,349
No, but I-I like it.

31
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,186
["Bad Decisions" playing]

32
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,982
You should have seen Liz's face.

33
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,651
- I lost my cool, man.
- Hey, we all make mistakes.

34
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,528
Look, in my dark days,

35
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,407
once, I was really stoned,
I ate half of Alice's bio project.

36
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,076
In my defense, it was a model
of human DNA made of Twizzlers.

37
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,454
She got a D. But it was delicious.

38
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,707
Well, thank you
for always being so relatable.

39
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,126
I can't believe I yelled at her like that.

40
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,086
- [music resumes]
- [whimpers]

41
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:12,132
[grunts] Oh, fuck.

42
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,053
[grunts]

43
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,971
[shrieks] Fuck!

44
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,933
Maybe I'll just avoid Liz
for the rest of my life.

45
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:23,643
I've tried it. It won't work, Sean.

46
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,728
She finds you.

47
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,813
Hey, your knee is bleeding.

48
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,524
- Don't even ask.
- What happened?

49
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:33,069
Oh, my God! What do you not
understand about "don't fucking ask"?

50
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,947
- [footsteps stomping]
- Sorry, sweetie.

51
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,074
- You're scared of her, aren't you?
- So? You're scared of Liz.

52
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,700
Absolutely. She's scary.

53
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,953
- [chuckles]
- Everything's so fucked.

54
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:43,121
No.

55
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,415
I know how you can fix it.

56
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,044
So Jimmy said I should bring this to you.

57
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,839
I love it when Jimmy says things.

58
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,758
This is gonna be fun
because I've never been to therapy before.

59
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,011
- Hard to believe.
- Dazzle me.

60
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,683
["Frightening Fishes"
by Benjamin Gibbard playing]

61
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:32,129
{\an8}I know you thought you were doing
something really nice for me.

62
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,673
{\an8}I shouldn't have lost my shit,
and I'm sorry.

63
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,341
{\an8}[Liz] No, I should've
talked to you about it.

64
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,468
{\an8}- I'm so sorry.
- [scoffs]

65
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,221
{\an8}- We're good.
- Okay.

66
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:43,599
[Paul] Good work.

67
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,437
{\an8}Liz, I'm gonna try and say this sincerely.

68
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,397
{\an8}I'm glad you came in here.

69
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,607
{\an8}That's it?

70
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:57,195
{\an8}What, you want me to pull my pants down
and make my ass clap?

71
00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,280
{\an8}Okay.

72
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,032
{\an8}- How much do you pay him?
- Nothing.

73
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,409
{\an8}Yeah, that sounds about right.

74
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,954
{\an8}Thanks for that.

75
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,707
{\an8}This was a good idea.
I prefer eating doughnuts to hiking.

76
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:10,917
{\an8}Please, look at that baby.

77
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,169
{\an8}He or she was never
gonna last the whole hike.

78
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,922
{\an8}He or she? She's wearing
a pink sweater that says "Emily."

79
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,633
{\an8}- Give me a turn.
- [Michael] Okay.

80
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:22,720
{\an8}Hi. Oh, you are so cute.

81
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,055
{\an8}You said that to me yesterday.

82
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,932
{\an8}If everybody's cute, then nobody's cute.

83
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,475
{\an8}You seem like a real natural, Charlie.

84
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,643
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa.

85
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,437
{\an8}Don't push your breeder agenda
on us, James.

86
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,606
{\an8}We actually bonded over this
when we were dating.

87
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,774
{\an8}Neither of us wants kids.

88
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,609
{\an8}No, you don't want kids.

89
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,320
{\an8}I said I was fine not having kids,
not that I didn't want them.

90
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,114
{\an8}- Who are you? What's happening?
- Maybe we should give them a second.

91
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,659
{\an8}Why? This is such an intimate moment.

92
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:45,826
{\an8}- That's why, Michael.
- [Charlie] It's okay.

93
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,954
{\an8}[sighs] I'd love to have a baby.

94
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,580
{\an8}But if we don't,

95
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,875
{\an8}then I am the hero who rose above it all
to make his marriage work.

96
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:56,420
{\an8}I can be a hero too by at least
pretending to consider it.

97
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,839
{\an8}That is so brave.

98
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,882
{\an8}Well, if you want, you can
meet our adoption advocate.

99
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,969
{\an8}- He's a friend.
- Oh, that would be so great.

100
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,096
{\an8}I mean, if Brian is up for it.

101
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,180
{\an8}[sighs]

102
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,433
{\an8}Are you kidding, Charlie? Brian's a hero.

103
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:11,018
{\an8}Uh-oh. Yeah, someone made a shit swamp.

104
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,937
{\an8}- Can I help you change her? Yeah?
- Yeah. Please.

105
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,022
{\an8}- Come here, you little stinker.
- [Charlie chuckles]

106
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,774
{\an8}"You seem like a natural, Charlie"?

107
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:19,193
{\an8}Don't blame me. You're the one
who wouldn't let our friendship die.

108
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,572
{\an8}I... [exhales sharply] It's still here.

109
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,491
Hey, kid.

110
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,868
[door closes]

111
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,580
Your dad has landed back
in your life in a big way,

112
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,039
so we can't keep avoiding it.

113
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,875
- Have you two been talking?
- [sighs]

114
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,334
Does he even know where you live?

115
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,044
Come on, Paul, you asked me this last week

116
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,131
and you could tell by my face
that the answer was no.

117
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,800
Right.

118
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,094
Why do we always have to
come back to my dad?

119
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,598
Look, I know your dad did something
to damage your relationship

120
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,392
that you have not told me about.

121
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,143
How do I know?

122
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,395
I've been doing this for a thousand years.

123
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,647
Why are you trying
to therapize me in the kitchen?

124
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,483
You and Jimmy used to talk
out of the office all the time.

125
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,861
- Figured I'd give it a whirl.
- Ten feet from your door?

126
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,404
[whispers] Baby steps.

127
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,157
[sighs]

128
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,451
Come on.

129
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,828
Sorry, gotta go to work.

130
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,165
Why are you still here?

131
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,210
Because I took a shit in your desk drawer.

132
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,171
Relax. I just forgot my keys.

133
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,925
[sighs] This is why
I hate to leave my office.

134
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,477
Hey. How'd it go with Liz?

135
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:37,898
She didn't take a dump in my desk,
so I guess that's a win.

136
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,027
I still can't get Sean to open up
to me about his dad.

137
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,154
I even tried talking to him
out of the office.

138
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,907
Hey. You tried Jimmying him.

139
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,992
That's what my patients call
my unorthodox methods, so--

140
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,411
- Well, I'm never gonna use that word.
- We'll see.

141
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,829
Hey, Sean and I are still tight.

142
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,706
You want me to take
another crack at the dad stuff? I--

143
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,500
[Paul] No. No more intervening.

144
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,085
You're not his therapist anymore.

145
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,253
Stay the fuck out of it.

146
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,213
Okay, Paul, I'll stay the fuck out of it.

147
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,632
- [groans] Right.
- What? I can stay out of things.

148
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,425
- I stay out of lots of things.
- Name one.

149
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,261
Never got into SoulCycle. [sighs]

150
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,304
- I wish I had better examples.
- [Paul] I know you.

151
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:14,016
The minute Sean is in need, you'll cave.

152
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,561
You can't not help.

153
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:21,065
I can not do anything
I set my mind t-t-to not do.

154
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,859
{\an8}Why does that say, "I peed here"?

155
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:23,944
Where?

156
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,821
{\an8}Oh, for God's... Give me that.

157
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:30,450
{\an8}- Did you write this, Paul?
- It's your crazy fucking neighbor!

158
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,830
I'm worried about Sean.

159
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,748
- [sighs]
- Working with his dad.

160
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,835
It's not gonna take much for him to snap.

161
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,837
[Tim] Mmm, mmm, mmm.

162
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,841
This is so damn good. Have you tried this?

163
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,052
It was hard to toss you out of the house,

164
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:53,306
but I knew what you needed
was a little tough love, all right?

165
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,392
[distorted] I mean, look at you now.
[chuckles]

166
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,145
I mean, look at both of us now, right?

167
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,189
Your mom was a little scared at first

168
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,399
and I said,
"Nah, you gotta let a man be a man."

169
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,651
[sound distorts, swells]

170
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,320
[normal] You all right?

171
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,071
Yeah. I'm good.

172
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:13,326
I loved that truck.
And I gave it up for nothing.

173
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,745
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah. That sucks.

174
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,538
I was smashing this guy
who didn't care about me.

175
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,790
So now I gotta break into his house
and get all my stuff back,

176
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,209
including my favorite vibrator.

177
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,336
- What a drag.
- Was it expensive?

178
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,962
Yeah. Actually, we went
halfsies on a lot of them.

179
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,632
I got you both beat.
Charlie wants to have a baby.

180
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,800
- That's not a real problem.
- Yeah, babies are tight.

181
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,761
- Just have a baby.
- Who's having a baby?

182
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,346
- Brian.
- You're not even showing.

183
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,389
- I'm not having a baby.
- [Liz] Oh, yes, you are.

184
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,599
That's how marriage works.

185
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,976
If one person wants one,
the decision is made.

186
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,354
Mm-hmm. Y'all either having a baby
or y'all about to break up.

187
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,023
- [Liz] Mm-hmm.
- [Derek] Or you will figure it out

188
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,984
because your love
with Charlie is undefeatable.

189
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,070
- Aw. I want a Derek.
- Mmm.

190
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,405
Then I have the greatest coincidence ever.

191
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,242
[chuckles] This is my best buddy
from my old job,

192
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,576
Derrick.

193
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,495
- Hi, guys. Liz.
- [Brian] Oh.

194
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,665
- Hi, bubba. How are you?
- [Derrick] Good to see you.

195
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,458
- Mmm, you smell good.
- [Derrick] Thank you.

196
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,919
You always smell good. Oh, all right.

197
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:05,962
[exhales deeply] Okay.

198
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:09,006
[chuckles] You won't believe,
but Gaby just said she wanted--

199
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,884
- Don't.
- Nothing. She... She wants nothing.

200
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,553
- Nothing? Oh.
- Yeah.

201
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,555
Well, that sounds like a lie,
but I'll go with it.

202
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,932
- We eating here or... No.
- [Derek] No, no, no.

203
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,226
- Vibe is too sad in here.
- Yeah.

204
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,813
- Dereks, we like to be happy.
- [chuckles]

205
00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,399
Oh, and, uh, by the way,

206
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,067
there's nothing wrong
with wanting a Derrick.

207
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,986
- Okay.
- Congrats on the baby again.

208
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,155
- I'm not having a baby!
- [Derrick] Okay.

209
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,033
- I can't wait for his baby.
- No baby. No.

210
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,953
I need something in my life
or I'm going totally dark.

211
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:42,582
I am this close to sitting in my tub
crying and drinking wine.

212
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,375
I would love to do that,
and I mean with you.

213
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,460
Like, literally,
I'd be at the other end of the tub,

214
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,712
and we can just touch feet,

215
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,547
and then we can
interlock our toes like this.

216
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,549
- Our tub is big enough for that.
- I know!

217
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,634
- Let's do it now!
- Oh, my... Wait, wait. No.

218
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:56,012
We said we weren't gonna do this.
We weren't gonna slip into the abyss.

219
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,763
We are going to be proactive.

220
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,140
I'm on it.

221
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,266
To try and cheer myself up,

222
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,935
I'm gonna go take pictures
of the shelter dogs on death row.

223
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,270
You should be a party planner.

224
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,315
The pictures on the website suck.

225
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,483
I'm gonna take good ones
so they can be adopted.

226
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,861
- And you're coming with.
- Rock-hard pass.

227
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,572
I'll treat your baby thing
like it's a real problem.

228
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,781
It is a real problem!

229
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,618
- It's still not.
- Not.

230
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,093
[exhales sharply, stammers]

231
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,096
[feet shuffling]

232
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,182
- What the fuck is happening?
- Sorry, sorry.

233
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,851
It's just that when you're shredding
the finger drums, I know you're spinning,

234
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,771
but Paul and I agreed that having
two therapists in your ear is not helpful.

235
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:49,023
- So I'm staying out of it.
- [Sean] Must be nice.

236
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:52,818
You bail on me, so if I fall apart,
it's not your fault. And if I do well,

237
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,154
- it's 'cause you put me in better hands.
- [Jimmy] Wow.

238
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:59,158
You managed to make me feel guilty,
inferior and douchey in one sentence.

239
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,576
- That's how I do it.
- [Jimmy] Hey.

240
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,662
I can't believe I have to get
a Lyft to practice.

241
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:03,746
We should get me a car.

242
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:04,997
Are we gonna pay for it?

243
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,750
- Ha ha.
- [Jimmy] Ha ha.

244
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,169
She's gonna feel so guilty
when she finds out I'm on my way

245
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,587
to look at a used car I wanna get her.

246
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,131
So you're not telling her now
so you can rub it in her face later?

247
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,883
Fatherhood, baby. [chuckles]

248
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,594
All right. I'll see you later.

249
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,471
Do you wanna come with me?

250
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,516
Just, you know, clear your head?

251
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,978
Sure. Why not? [sighs]

252
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:27,895
- Okay, gorgeous.
- [dog whines]

253
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,941
Relax and give me a casual smile.

254
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,360
- Not you.
- I know, but admit that I nailed it.

255
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,028
All right. Find me one with kind eyes.

256
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,947
[Brian] They all have the same eyes.

257
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,449
Just big, weird marbles that judge you.

258
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,201
- God.
- [dog whines]

259
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,578
Okay. Okay. Here we go.

260
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,454
[strains] This is your time
to have your photo shoot.

261
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,748
- I know.
- Have you ever met a dog?

262
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,042
- This is like three dogs. Okay, sit.
- Oh, my God.

263
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,460
- Okay.
- [sighs]

264
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,921
Charlie and I can't have babies.
We're too busy.

265
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,756
You're here at 3:00 on a Tuesday.

266
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,551
And that is my right as a DINK.

267
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,844
- Double Income No Kids.
- Oh.

268
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:02,096
We were gonna blow that money
traveling the world.

269
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,265
Maui. Nepal. Paris.

270
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,809
I'm pretty sure they don't even
allow babies in Paris.

271
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,727
Oh, they do.

272
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,896
They just smoke and they're not
allowed to wear deodorant.

273
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,147
- [scoffs]
- You know what?

274
00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:13,357
- Let's take 'em to the park.
- Are we allowed to do that?

275
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,443
You can.
You're the shelter's biggest donor.

276
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,612
- What?
- I gave two grand for your wedding gift.

277
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:18,946
Two grand?

278
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,657
I could have bought an e-bike, Liz.
Or new calves.

279
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,202
- Your calves are great. Come on.
- Got what I wanted. Okay, here we go.

280
00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:25,204
Whoa, he's a jumper.

281
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,830
Hey, uh... [stammers]

282
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,459
- ...think I blocked you in. Sorry.
- Oh. It's all good, Derrick Two.

283
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,629
Also, it's funny. I pictured you
as more of a sports-car guy.

284
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,464
Really? That wouldn't
make me look like a dick?

285
00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,425
Well, you kind of already
got it covered with those shades.

286
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,093
- What shades?
- Wow.

287
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,346
I'm gonna have to get those later.
They're prescription.

288
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,472
- Oh, yeah, you need those.
- Yeah.

289
00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,849
- Can I help you with that or... Yeah?
- Oh. Uh, thanks.

290
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,851
- I'll... I'll get your dick-y sunglasses.
- Thank you.

291
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,062
- Uh-huh. No problem.
- Okay, so what have we got here?

292
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:54,315
We got a toothbrush, some fancy bras.

293
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,735
- We got Pop-Tarts. That's cool.
- Okay... Well, actually, those aren't mine,

294
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,655
but I did earn them by completely
throwing away my dignity.

295
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:04,909
Oh. Oh, this is a breakup box. Been there.

296
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,870
- You wanna know how I got back at my ex?
- Sure.

297
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,122
I thought about her for months
and was sad for a really long time.

298
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,874
- [chuckles] She couldn't handle it.
- [chuckles] I bet.

299
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,501
Yeah, I also still feed her cat sometimes.

300
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,002
- That'll show her.
- That'll teach her.

301
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,462
- [chuckles]
- [buzzing]

302
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,257
- Oh, that's my cell phone.
- But your cell phone's in your hand.

303
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:21,133
This... That's actually my other cell phone.

304
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,345
- Oh, the one beneath the vibrator?
- [buzzing continues]

305
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:25,930
Hello. Gaby's work phone.

306
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,473
- [laughs]
- She'll call you back.

307
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,141
- [imitates buzzing]
- Which one's your favorite?

308
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,018
- I like the red one.
- This one. Yeah, that one's nice.

309
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,854
- What do you call that one?
- Clifford 'cause it's...

310
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,772
- big and red. Big and red.
- Big red. Ah.

311
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,900
- [barks, laughs]
- [shrieks, laughs]

312
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,447
Street's closed.
You gotta go out the other way.

313
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,740
You can't shut down the whole road

314
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,202
just 'cause you're remodeling
Racist Pam's house.

315
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,328
You probably know her as Pam.

316
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,498
- We also know her as Racist Pam.
- Come on. Move the cone.

317
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,084
Fine. Road's open.

318
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,920
Oops. Road's closed. Too late.

319
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,298
You don't have to be a dick.

320
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,508
Oh, you're a tough guy?
What the fuck are you gonna do?

321
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,636
[Jimmy] Hey, easy. Sean.
Sean, it's not worth it. Just breathe.

322
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:06,804
Breathe. Hey.

323
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,140
Sean, get back in the car. Hey.

324
00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,600
[distorted] Get back in the car, Sean.

325
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,435
Please. Sean!

326
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,896
[horn honks]

327
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,232
[normal] Please. For me.

328
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,319
[sighs] That was really messed up.

329
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,737
Those guys are gonna know
where we live now.

330
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:23,863
No, they won't.

331
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,115
You parked a block away
and you made us walk here.

332
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:30,244
That's because that was the biggest
human man I've ever seen in my life.

333
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,495
- He was a big guy.
- Sean.

334
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,583
I don't know what happened.
Everything went all white like it used to.

335
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,752
I've been working with my dad all day.

336
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,171
I'm just wound up.

337
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,299
Why?

338
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:44,760
[smacks lips, sighs]

339
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,349
When I first got back from Afghanistan...

340
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,935
nothing made sense to me.

341
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:57,564
It was really hard for me
to find a reason to keep on going,

342
00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,608
and...

343
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,319
he acted like everything was okay.

344
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,905
Look, it's awful,

345
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,657
but you can't blame your dad
for not being able to read your mind.

346
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,576
- [slams table]
- I told him!

347
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,869
[shouting] I told him I was struggling.

348
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,122
Do you know how hard that is for me?

349
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:19,502
I literally begged him
for his help... [chuckles]

350
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,170
...and you know what he did?

351
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,713
[normal] He told me I'd get over it.

352
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,173
[shouting] The fuck is that?

353
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,843
And then he wouldn't talk about it.

354
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:29,303
But I'd get into fights. I start fighting,

355
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,597
and then he pulls his tough love shit.

356
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,807
He kicks me out.

357
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:36,602
And now he think he's some
kind of hero 'cause I'm doing well?

358
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,063
Like it's all 'cause of him?

359
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,692
I hear you. Hey, Sean.

360
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:46,320
You were in a lot of pain.
Your father let you down. I get it.

361
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,781
Hey, this is fucking complicated, aight?

362
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,701
- He is a good man, okay?
- [softly] I know. I get it.

363
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:53,870
- [shouting] He loves me, all right?
- I know he does.

364
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:56,289
He worked his ass off for me,
and I put him through a lot.

365
00:15:56,290 --> 00:16:00,168
So I just... I don't wanna hear you
talking shit about my father.

366
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:02,211
I understand. I'm not gonna say
another word. Hey, hey, hey.

367
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,381
We're gonna sit down.
We're gonna sit down for a second.

368
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:11,429
- [shakily] I'm sorry.
- You're good. You're good.

369
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:12,848
[breathing heavily]

370
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,074
Thanks.

371
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,878
I wonder what Pam is doing to her house.

372
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,173
[chuckles]

373
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,674
- [Brian grunts]
- [dog panting]

374
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,843
Oh, look at you being cute with that guy.

375
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,846
I can feel his nuts
on my thigh, and they're hot.

376
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,516
You love him,
just like you would love a baby.

377
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,683
[Brian] I can't, Liz.

378
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,311
[sighs] I know I would be a shitty dad.

379
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,979
Calm down, DINK.

380
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,525
- Being a parent is--
- Oh, I think our guy needs some more air.

381
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:06,983
- [groans] Oh! Whoa!
- No!

382
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,693
- [horns honking]
- [tires screech]

383
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,406
[Brian] Hey, whoa! Dog! [grunts]

384
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,866
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

385
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,617
Anytime my sister calls,
she's always like,

386
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,371
"You won't believe what happened,"
and then it's something mundane like,

387
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:20,539
my mom's wig fell off
at a Walmart or something.

388
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,791
- [chuckles] Wigs do be falling off. Yeah.
- They do.

389
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,876
- Hey! You two still here?
- Hey.

390
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,213
[chuckles] Don't you have a class
to teach, G-Spot?

391
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,382
Maybe don't call me G-spot
in front of my new friends.

392
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,384
- Why?
- I'll tell you later.

393
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:32,802
- It's fun. Yeah.
- Okay, thanks.

394
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:36,764
Okay. But he's right. I do actually
have a generation to inspire.

395
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,641
[all chuckle]

396
00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,934
[Derrick] All right. Sounds good.

397
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,477
- It was great to meet you.
- You too.

398
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,646
- All right, D.
- All right, D Squared.

399
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:47,067
- Putting on the dick-y glasses.
- Oh, I see you. I see you.

400
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,070
- You gotta date him.
- What? No!

401
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,697
- You know you wanna hit that.
- I'm too busy.

402
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:55,283
Honestly, I'm still in recovery mode
from all that weird Jimmy shit.

403
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:56,367
- Yeah.
- I think for right now,

404
00:17:56,368 --> 00:18:00,454
the healthiest thing for me to do is to,
like, keep the coochie on lock.

405
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,915
- Hey, don't look down there.
- What? You're waving at it.

406
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,917
- It's my coochie to wave at.
- I'm sorry. Suit yourself.

407
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,670
I gotta go find the scissors
without asking Liz where they are.

408
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:10,716
So, it'll take up most of my day.
[chuckles]

409
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,970
Your dad seriously
won't let you get a tattoo?

410
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,388
He can't stop me forever.

411
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:20,183
Do you think I should get one here
or maybe here?

412
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,393
I don't know. What do you think?

413
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:24,103
I think they're both great.

414
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,606
You didn't even look at her.

415
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:29,943
Okay...

416
00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:33,989
Something here is not right.

417
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:39,785
I forgot the guac.

418
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,371
Gotta have the guac. [chuckles]

419
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,666
- She totally knows.
- She doesn't know.

420
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,628
- I am begging you to be cool.
- I'm cool.

421
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:50,796
I'm... I'm LL Cool Cool.

422
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,965
- That's not his name.
- [Connor sighs]

423
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:56,719
- Oh, did I leave my wallet in your room?
- No, but that room will never be clean.

424
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,014
- It is haunted by what we did.
- Jesus Christ.

425
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,517
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, I'm heading out. You need anything?

426
00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:04,018
Nope. Love you.

427
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,937
Whoa. Ditto.

428
00:19:05,938 --> 00:19:07,146
- [snaps fingers]
- See you, Connor.

429
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,481
Love you.

430
00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:09,691
I don't, I'm sorry.

431
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:11,944
All right.

432
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:13,695
Dude.

433
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:16,239
Well, you will not be shocked

434
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,658
that your father told none of us
you were coming.

435
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,535
[imitates Paul] Because
it's none of your business, Jimmy.

436
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:23,120
This is my Fortress of Solitude.

437
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,372
[both chuckle]

438
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:25,706
- She's funny, huh?
- Yeah.

439
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,042
Like Mrs. Maisel.

440
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,168
What? I watch TV.

441
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,712
Meg's gonna give the keynote speech

442
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,214
- on sustainable energy.
- [Meg groans]

443
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:34,423
- At Caltech.
- Come on.

444
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,717
- No, it's not a big deal. No.
- It's a huge deal.

445
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,386
Come on. I can't wait.

446
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:40,054
Hey, I got to talk to you
just for a minute.

447
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:41,305
Oh, I will, um...

448
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,642
Well, I'll come back if I hear a "woof."

449
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:47,562
What?

450
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:50,439
[inhales deeply] Sean told me
what's going on with his father.

451
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,775
I was staying out of it,
but he almost got into a fight.

452
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,151
He's fine.

453
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:56,238
Then he just...
Yeah, he just sort of told me.

454
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,907
So, back when Sean was at his worst,
he asked his dad for help.

455
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:03,411
His dad just ignored him.
Just totally blew him off.

456
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,707
He told you this without any prompting?

457
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:10,877
Mm-hmm. Yes.

458
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:15,256
He was just saying how he was really
wound up from working with his dad.

459
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,425
And then... Yeah.

460
00:20:17,426 --> 00:20:20,094
I was... I was like, "Why?"

461
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:22,221
- You said what?
- [softly] "Why?"

462
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,764
- "Why?"
- "Why?"

463
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,600
- You said, "Why?"
- I said, "Why?"

464
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,643
Are we gonna keep saying this
back and forth to each other?

465
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:31,022
I said it very casually.
I was like, "Why?"

466
00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:33,691
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
- He was freaking out, Paul.

467
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:36,068
I did not have time
to tell him to close his eyes

468
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,945
and picture a big, black tornado.

469
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,948
It's a cloud. And I know you know that.

470
00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,159
Okay. Well, I knew
I was driving over here to catch shit,

471
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,493
but I came anyway. You know why?

472
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:47,456
Because all that matters to me
is helping Sean. What about you?

473
00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:50,208
I know him. Did you even read
my case notes?

474
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,585
You don't have to answer.

475
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:55,547
'Cause you never listen
to me anymore about anything.

476
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,716
And we should be working together.

477
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,928
We should be working as a team
like Batman and Robin.

478
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:04,055
You can even be Batman.
You already sound like him.

479
00:21:04,056 --> 00:21:07,141
- I'm gonna make you pay for that.
- That's exactly what Batman would say.

480
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,352
Paul, why are you still so mad at me?

481
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:12,563
Are you still trying to teach me
some lesson? Because I get it.

482
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:13,856
I messed up with Sean.

483
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:17,318
But please do not tell me that
you are upset because he opened up to me

484
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:19,404
about something that
he wouldn't talk to you about.

485
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,699
Please tell me your ego is not that big.

486
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,326
[chuckles]

487
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:28,163
See you, Jimmy.

488
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:31,457
Paul.

489
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:32,584
[Paul] Woof.

490
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:36,839
- [sighs]
- Well, you seem happier than I expected.

491
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:41,092
I think I may have just won for once.

492
00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:43,803
Oh. Tell me what that feels like.

493
00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:44,929
I'm still processing.

494
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:48,224
- How about you tell me about Caltech?
- Oh, God.

495
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:50,518
No, I'm gonna barf. I can't talk about it.

496
00:21:50,519 --> 00:21:52,520
- Yeah? You nervous?
- Yes, very.

497
00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:54,063
It's a... My speech...

498
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:57,441
- [chuckling] It's too long.
- [chuckles]

499
00:21:57,442 --> 00:22:00,319
Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, this is pretty good.

500
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,531
Um, but you mixed up
structuralism and functionalism here.

501
00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:05,408
- This is a nice house.
- Thank you.

502
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:08,327
But you will never get a house like this
if you shit the bed on this project, okay?

503
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:11,581
- So, focus.
- [chuckles] Okay.

504
00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:13,291
- It is pretty sick though, right? Yeah.
- Yeah.

505
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:16,460
All the bathrooms have
heated floor tiles, so... [chuckles]

506
00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:17,795
...sometimes I just sit on the floor.

507
00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:19,673
- Nice.
- [doorbell rings]

508
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,382
[sighs]

509
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,425
- Hey.
- Sorry.

510
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,093
I didn't know you're busy,
so I'll be quick.

511
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:27,805
[whispers] I couldn't stop thinking
about your, uh... your coochie lock.

512
00:22:27,806 --> 00:22:29,849
Really? Okay. This is Keisha.

513
00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:31,976
And she can hear you
even if you're whispering.

514
00:22:31,977 --> 00:22:33,394
So you're not letting him hit it?

515
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,229
Get back to work on your project.

516
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:38,316
- Great. Now she thinks we're hooking up.
- Oh? Cool.

517
00:22:38,317 --> 00:22:41,903
So, look, the reason I thought
other Derrick would be good for you

518
00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:45,449
is you're always taking care of people.

519
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:50,287
So maybe it's time
someone took care of you.

520
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:52,163
I texted you his number.

521
00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:53,706
- You should call him.
- What? Dude.

522
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,791
We don't know if it's gonna
work out or not,

523
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:59,004
but, G, you deserve to be happy.

524
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:02,799
That's really nice.

525
00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:05,009
- Thank you.
- You're the best.

526
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:06,928
Aw, I want a Derek.

527
00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:08,430
Everyone does.

528
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,308
We own a dog now.
You don't get to meet him yet

529
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:14,268
because he's getting
some stitches on his leg

530
00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:16,979
- and a very expensive eye surgery.
- Look forward to that.

531
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,482
- Uh, Brian, meet Stuart.
- Hi.

532
00:23:19,483 --> 00:23:22,194
He is Michael's adoption advocate friend.

533
00:23:23,362 --> 00:23:25,071
Oh, already?

534
00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:26,447
- [Charlie] Yes.
- [Brian] Wow.

535
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:30,701
So, how does this even start?

536
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,704
Uh, well, if you want to know
what babies we have in stock,

537
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,414
I have a few in the back of my car.

538
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:36,999
- What?
- [chuckles] I'm kidding.

539
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,043
- I like to make it fun.
- [chuckling]

540
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:42,839
I drove all the way from Tarzana.
May I use your restroom real quick?

541
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,131
Oh, it's down the hall.

542
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:45,508
Thank you so much.

543
00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:46,717
Charlie, I'm sorry.

544
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:48,636
I've been thinking
about this baby stuff all day

545
00:23:48,637 --> 00:23:51,098
and I... I can't even take care of a dog.

546
00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,225
- I don't think I'm ready for this.
- It's okay.

547
00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:55,977
A-And I shouldn't have
ambushed you with Stuart.

548
00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:57,520
- Aw.
- I...

549
00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:58,938
[sighing] Oh.

550
00:23:58,939 --> 00:24:00,606
Why am I so scared to be honest?

551
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:01,692
Um...

552
00:24:02,526 --> 00:24:03,860
[inhales deeply]

553
00:24:03,861 --> 00:24:05,863
I really wanna be a dad.

554
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,325
I want Christmases with three stockings

555
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:14,996
and, um, I wanna be driving
and looking over my shoulder and say,

556
00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:17,541
"I swear to God,
I will turn this car around."

557
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,712
And I want to be a dad with you.

558
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:24,756
Isn't there a part of you
that wants those things too?

559
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:26,758
Of course.

560
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,678
You guys are out of TP. Just FYI.

561
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,054
Thank you, Stuart.

562
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:34,390
When your partner
wants something that bad,

563
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:35,558
how can you say no?

564
00:24:35,559 --> 00:24:37,894
Brian, being a parent is awesome.

565
00:24:37,895 --> 00:24:39,187
For the first six years,

566
00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:40,980
- they believe anything you tell them.
- Mm-hmm.

567
00:24:40,981 --> 00:24:42,565
You know how you like
dressing up as Cher for Halloween?

568
00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:44,192
- Yeah.
- Okay. I want you to picture

569
00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:46,986
carrying around a little baby
dressed like Sonny.

570
00:24:46,987 --> 00:24:50,239
[chuckles] Oh, my God. Can babies grow
mustaches or would I have to buy one?

571
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,240
[chuckles]

572
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:55,119
[sighs] I'm joking,
but I'm only 75% sure I'm joking.

573
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,621
I'm gonna suck at this.

574
00:24:56,622 --> 00:25:00,374
I'm a superficial narcissist
who is a prisoner of his own vanity.

575
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:02,543
- And as much as I love that about myself...
- [chuckles]

576
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,670
...I'm mean, I'm judgmental.

577
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,215
I'm... I'm like my dad.

578
00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:10,134
And you know, as fathers go,
he didn't exactly nail it.

579
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,594
[Liz] I was just like you.

580
00:25:11,595 --> 00:25:14,639
I was so scared,
I said I would never have kids.

581
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:18,893
Luckily, Derek has this, like,
weird ability to look you in the eye,

582
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:22,230
tell you everything's going to be okay,
and every time you believe him

583
00:25:22,231 --> 00:25:23,689
and you burst into tears.

584
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:28,362
I'm so glad I listened
because when you give birth to that baby,

585
00:25:28,946 --> 00:25:31,280
- or in your case, unbox it...
- Wow.

586
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,241
...it just hits you.

587
00:25:33,242 --> 00:25:35,535
Brian, you give yourself so much shit.

588
00:25:35,536 --> 00:25:38,956
But you are already one of
the most empathetic guys that I know.

589
00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:41,082
When you see somebody
who really needs you,

590
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:43,544
you take a deep breath
and you reach out for them.

591
00:25:44,461 --> 00:25:46,004
So what more could you want in a father?

592
00:25:46,922 --> 00:25:48,924
- [smacks lips] Thanks.
- Hey, here we go.

593
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:50,508
I'd like him to do his thing.

594
00:25:50,509 --> 00:25:52,718
D, he needs the special.

595
00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:53,929
[grunts]

596
00:25:54,513 --> 00:25:55,931
Okay, look at me, Brian.

597
00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:58,433
Whatever it is...

598
00:26:00,769 --> 00:26:02,938
everything's gonna be okay.

599
00:26:05,399 --> 00:26:06,275
Got him.

600
00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:08,234
He got me.

601
00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:10,070
- Are you okay? Oh.
- [whimpers]

602
00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:14,282
You can't sleep?

603
00:26:14,283 --> 00:26:15,825
[groans]

604
00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:16,993
Patient shit.

605
00:26:16,994 --> 00:26:18,787
Mmm. I should have guessed.

606
00:26:19,288 --> 00:26:20,454
What's keeping you up?

607
00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:22,665
I'm nervous about my speech.

608
00:26:22,666 --> 00:26:24,168
You'll do awesome.

609
00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:25,961
Give me some of that.

610
00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:28,463
[groans]

611
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,469
I've got this kid I'm worried about.

612
00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:38,639
A lot of unresolved dad issues.

613
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,017
- Oh, my God.
- [sighs]

614
00:26:41,018 --> 00:26:42,853
- Is it me?
- [chuckles]

615
00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:46,439
This is gonna sound like crunchy nonsense,

616
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,858
but a few weeks ago I told him

617
00:26:48,859 --> 00:26:51,945
if you don't truly face your past...

618
00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:55,573
it's gonna come back for you.

619
00:26:55,574 --> 00:27:00,036
I can't shake this feeling
that there's some bad shit

620
00:27:00,037 --> 00:27:01,162
headed this way.

621
00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:02,455
So, you're psychic now?

622
00:27:02,456 --> 00:27:05,166
When you've been doing this
as long as I have,

623
00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:08,211
you sense stuff that's in the air.

624
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:09,587
["sipping on tea" playing]

625
00:27:09,588 --> 00:27:11,882
[Paul]
<i>Traumas that haven't been dealt with.</i>

626
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:19,472
<i>Confrontations avoided.</i>

627
00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:20,724
[phone buzzing]

628
00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:28,690
[groans] Two rings. That bitch.

629
00:27:33,403 --> 00:27:38,033
[Paul] <i>It's like all those old skeletons
are gonna sneak up</i>

630
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,702
<i>and bite us on the ass.</i>

631
00:27:49,044 --> 00:27:50,379
Does that sound crazy?

632
00:27:51,088 --> 00:27:52,296
A little.

633
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,131
But it's also a great way
for me to tell you

634
00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:56,759
that Mom is coming to town
to see my speech,

635
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,303
and while she's here...

636
00:27:59,471 --> 00:28:00,847
she wants to see you too.

637
00:28:00,848 --> 00:28:02,683
Oh, good.

638
00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:05,184
Let me ask you something.

639
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:09,940
Do you think I have a big ego?

640
00:28:12,109 --> 00:28:14,319
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
I thought you were doing a bit.

641
00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:17,738
Well, let's see.

642
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:20,283
One time, you were so obsessed with work

643
00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,870
that you didn't raise me for 18 years.

644
00:28:23,871 --> 00:28:25,539
You could've just said yes.

645
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:32,044
[Gaby] I am all for you
bringing me coffee at 8:00 a.m.,

646
00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:34,047
but it makes me wonder.

647
00:28:34,798 --> 00:28:37,592
- Are you a morning person?
- I am. This is my third date today.

648
00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:39,635
- Well, we may not be compatible.
- Right.

649
00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:42,013
Um, but I do already have
some maple bacon in the oven.

650
00:28:42,014 --> 00:28:43,472
So, you might as well stay.

651
00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:47,768
[gasps] Also, I have the trap remix to
the <i>Lord of the Rings</i> score queued up.

652
00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:50,271
It's 30 minutes long. So when that's over,
I do need to go to work.

653
00:28:50,272 --> 00:28:52,773
The bad news is I will spend
15 minutes of our date time

654
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:56,694
changing into a less cleavage-forward
ensemble... [chuckles] ...if you will.

655
00:28:56,695 --> 00:28:58,696
'Cause you know
my patients can't handle all this.

656
00:28:58,697 --> 00:29:01,157
- It's distracting. Yeah. Big time.
- Is it? Thank you.

657
00:29:01,158 --> 00:29:04,243
- Oops. Just with my eyes.
- [chuckles] Ooh. Did you look?

658
00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:05,494
- That's funny.
- [phone ringing]

659
00:29:05,495 --> 00:29:06,580
- They're nice.
- [groans]

660
00:29:07,164 --> 00:29:08,831
Of course my sister would be calling.

661
00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:11,501
- Give me the phone. Let me do my thing.
- Uh, okay. Good luck.

662
00:29:11,502 --> 00:29:13,878
Hello. You've reached
Gaby Something's office.

663
00:29:13,879 --> 00:29:15,838
- She can't come to the phone.
- [chuckles] Nice.

664
00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:17,132
I'm sorry. What?

665
00:29:17,841 --> 00:29:19,467
How could I even fuck my own face?

666
00:29:19,468 --> 00:29:21,677
- Oh. Give me that.
- Yeah, you should talk to her.

667
00:29:21,678 --> 00:29:24,222
Dude, what do you want?
I'm on a coffee and bacon date.

668
00:29:24,223 --> 00:29:26,766
[Courtney] <i>Mom got into a car accident.
She's at the hospital.</i>

669
00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:29,143
<i>And since you've been dodging me,
that's all you get to know.</i>

670
00:29:29,144 --> 00:29:31,145
- [line disconnects]
- I'm sorry.

671
00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:33,606
No, honestly, if it was serious,
she wouldn't have hung up.

672
00:29:33,607 --> 00:29:35,274
- But you know, I should go.
- Yes.

673
00:29:35,275 --> 00:29:36,651
- Can you do me a huge solid?
- Mm-hmm.

674
00:29:36,652 --> 00:29:38,611
Can you take the maple bacon
out of the oven

675
00:29:38,612 --> 00:29:40,238
and then can you open up all the windows

676
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:41,739
so the house doesn't
smell like maple bacon?

677
00:29:41,740 --> 00:29:43,783
- Just say bacon. You're in a rush.
- And the code

678
00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:46,494
to the lock on the door is 80085.

679
00:29:46,495 --> 00:29:48,579
Yes, it does spell "Boobs."
No, you can't tell anybody.

680
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:51,332
Bacon, windows, boobs.

681
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:52,500
- Tell everyone.
- Thanks.

682
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:54,837
And, um, enjoy the music.

683
00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:57,631
[trap music playing]

684
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,925
[hoarsely] My precious.

685
00:30:00,926 --> 00:30:02,594
- You should probably check on Mom.
- Yep. Bye.

686
00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:09,058
What is... Who is this?

687
00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:11,937
["Iris" playing on phone]

688
00:30:19,444 --> 00:30:20,487
[music stops]

689
00:30:26,577 --> 00:30:28,244
- What the hell are you doing?
- I don't know.

690
00:30:28,245 --> 00:30:30,747
I felt like you were coming in here
to tell me to clean my room.

691
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:34,877
[sighs]

692
00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:37,880
I do have a big ego.

693
00:30:38,672 --> 00:30:39,797
I'm aware. Yeah.

694
00:30:39,798 --> 00:30:42,049
{\an8}Your face takes up
the whole cover of your book.

695
00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:44,178
Well, I wrote it, didn't I?

696
00:30:45,888 --> 00:30:51,475
Normally, I would not care
that Sean opened up

697
00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:53,853
to you about his father instead of me.

698
00:30:53,854 --> 00:30:56,022
But just before that,
I asked him a question

699
00:30:56,023 --> 00:30:59,192
that I completely forgot that I had
asked him before. [chuckles] It's like--

700
00:30:59,193 --> 00:31:01,485
Who cares? I forget things all the time.

701
00:31:01,486 --> 00:31:04,488
- That's why I take notes.
- Well, so do I.

702
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:06,073
It's... It's just... [sighs]

703
00:31:06,074 --> 00:31:08,743
...with the... [sighs]

704
00:31:08,744 --> 00:31:12,121
...with the Parkinson's... [stammers]
...it's becoming more... more difficult,

705
00:31:12,122 --> 00:31:14,374
and, uh... [sighs]

706
00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:20,339
I'm s... I'm scared I might be losing it.

707
00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:23,675
[Jimmy] No way, Paul.

708
00:31:26,637 --> 00:31:27,971
I'm gonna make you a deal.

709
00:31:29,431 --> 00:31:32,225
When the time comes, I'll tell you.

710
00:31:32,226 --> 00:31:35,102
And you will not take it well,
and you will make that face.

711
00:31:35,103 --> 00:31:37,606
You'll probably
be very mean to me about it.

712
00:31:38,941 --> 00:31:39,942
But I will still tell you.

713
00:31:40,776 --> 00:31:42,486
And I'm telling you that right now,

714
00:31:43,195 --> 00:31:46,197
shit, man... [chuckles]

715
00:31:46,198 --> 00:31:47,574
...you're still the best at this.

716
00:31:48,534 --> 00:31:49,618
[sighs]

717
00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:54,997
[sighs] I know.

718
00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:56,415
[laughs]

719
00:31:56,416 --> 00:32:01,379
And-And I-I apologize for sometimes
being a pain in the ass.

720
00:32:01,380 --> 00:32:04,215
And I know you think
I never listen to you.

721
00:32:04,216 --> 00:32:05,592
I want to show you something.

722
00:32:06,176 --> 00:32:08,929
Just don't be a dick about it.

723
00:32:10,347 --> 00:32:11,973
[sighs]

724
00:32:11,974 --> 00:32:13,892
I'm still hanging out with Ray

725
00:32:15,394 --> 00:32:16,853
because of you.

726
00:32:16,854 --> 00:32:18,146
You have a friend.

727
00:32:19,273 --> 00:32:21,107
- I made you a friend.
- [chuckles]

728
00:32:21,108 --> 00:32:23,067
I'm gonna stop now.
But will you text that to me?

729
00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,070
No, let's get to work.

730
00:32:26,363 --> 00:32:31,201
I've been going over the notes
that you sent me on Sean.

731
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:36,372
Yes, I read them
the second you sent them to me.

732
00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:38,416
S-Stop smiling.

733
00:32:38,417 --> 00:32:41,544
When he dissociates,
everything goes white.

734
00:32:41,545 --> 00:32:42,629
Wh-What does that mean?

735
00:32:43,463 --> 00:32:46,507
Okay, Nick Furry,
this is your first playdate.

736
00:32:46,508 --> 00:32:47,633
Now, just to warn you,

737
00:32:47,634 --> 00:32:52,514
this human, Liz, is probably gonna
make fun of your eye patch. So...

738
00:32:54,183 --> 00:32:55,434
Hello?

739
00:32:57,144 --> 00:32:58,729
[stammers] What the hell
are you doing here?

740
00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,731
I'm sorry. Uh, A-Alice left her wallet.

741
00:33:01,732 --> 00:33:03,775
- I was just gonna put it in the mailbox.
- Give it to me.

742
00:33:04,693 --> 00:33:05,694
Okay.

743
00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:10,365
Can I ask you something?

744
00:33:13,785 --> 00:33:16,288
- Are they okay?
- Are you fucking serious?

745
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,167
I'm sorry. Right. I'm sorry.

746
00:33:25,214 --> 00:33:27,799
[exhales deeply] Wait.

747
00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:32,930
They're doing better.

748
00:33:34,348 --> 00:33:35,432
We all are.

749
00:33:38,727 --> 00:33:39,770
Thank you.

750
00:33:41,897 --> 00:33:44,233
[breathes shakily] Are you okay?

751
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,446
Yeah.

752
00:33:51,615 --> 00:33:52,950
Yeah, I'm fine.

753
00:34:03,085 --> 00:34:04,085
Hey.

754
00:34:04,086 --> 00:34:06,338
["Your Mind Is Not Your Friend" playing]