1
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,803
很棒

2
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,015
- 這樣才像話
- 終於啊,天啊

3
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:17,142
你有什麼毛病?

4
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,145
我們想要開心看比賽,而他想要掃興

5
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,689
聊嚴肅的事情

6
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,068
你總得跟你爸說他是怎樣讓你大失所望

7
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,402
拜託啦,兄弟

8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,862
我就跟你說他很討厭

9
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,697
- 不會發生的
- 好

10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,033
會的,等你準備好就會

11
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:38,871
在那之前,我決定我們兩個
從現在開始會一起幫你

12
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,998
但我不會在晚上8點後打電話給保羅

13
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,377
因為他上次接電話的時候
跟茱莉一起泡在他的浴缸裡

14
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,838
你的浴缸有多大啊?

15
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:47,756
不怎麼大

16
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:49,882
好傢伙

17
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,928
但你的主治療師還是我

18
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:58,015
把我想成耶誕老公公,而吉米是...

19
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:02,311
別叫我當小精靈,保羅
我比你大隻很多耶

20
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,771
你可以當馴鹿

21
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,273
不是有紅鼻子,很華麗的那頭

22
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,192
後面隨便哪頭都行,像毛毛

23
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,111
毛毛不是馴鹿,保羅

24
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,405
毛毛跟馴鹿完全不一樣

25
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,408
那麼,我要怎麼去應付
每天都要跟我爸一起工作

26
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,827
直到我能解決這問題?

27
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,662
愛他就好了

28
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,830
善意是最重要的

29
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,417
只要你抱著善意,等你準備好跟他談時

30
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,211
出發點就會是好的

31
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:29,672
又開始比賽了

32
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,300
除非吉米想要我來聊聊我爸的事

33
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,885
我猜他不太喜歡抱抱

34
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,261
對,他不喜歡

35
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,972
你們有親過彼此的嘴唇嗎?

36
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,558
一直都有

37
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,521
我的天啊

38
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:46,898
- 嘿
- 嗨

39
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,901
抱歉遲到了,我跟我媽在一起
她出了個意外,但她還好

40
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,278
她開車撞上一輛拖車
其實應該說是開上了一輛拖車

41
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,196
好消息是

42
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,741
拖車司機可以直接把她的車送到修車場去

43
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,452
好的

44
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,661
那麼...

45
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,913
你們知道什麼事很扯嗎?

46
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,207
現在我妹想要我去說服
我們那個快瞎了的媽

47
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,333
去動眼部手術

48
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,877
而我想,天啊,為何一直都是我的責任?

49
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:12,131
我教我們的媽怎麼用智慧型手機
我讓她去接受物理治療

50
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,883
我讓她從賀寶芙脫身,這可真的很...

51
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:18,305
很抱歉打斷妳
但我們的治療時間開始了嗎?

52
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,183
我們昨晚大吵一架,我想討論一下

53
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,435
是我的錯,這是你們的治療時間

54
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,855
跟我說吧,好,你們吵了什麼事?

55
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:31,568
這個嘛,我身上都會帶口香糖
他想吃的時候就有,可是...

56
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,572
我想吃口香糖的時候,他都沒帶

57
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,284
我不喜歡在口袋裡放東西,而且...

58
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:42,913
算了吧

59
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,207
怎樣?你們覺得過意不去
因為你們的話題很無趣?

60
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,042
- 對,有一點
- 對

61
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,296
別這麼想,你們有付錢給我,所以來談吧

62
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,840
來吧,兩位,發洩吧

63
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,051
馬克,你為何不喜歡在口袋裡放東西?

64
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,053
我不是她的皮包

65
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,807
我的手機、口香糖、隱形牙套容器
沒有那麼多東西

66
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,727
不好意思,還有墨鏡、能量棒

67
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:07,895
和充電器喔

68
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,147
在開玩笑嗎?

69
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,401
他媽的是在開玩笑嗎?

70
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,194
- 嘿
- 我覺得飲水機壞掉了

71
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,280
是嗎?妳覺得它哪裡壞掉了?

72
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,407
一定是壓縮機滑掉了
然後卡住了過濾器的鉸鏈

73
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,368
- 我他媽怎麼會知道啊?
- 如果妳今天不開心的話

74
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,579
我們等一下要去莉茲家喝酒
妳想來可以來啊

75
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,038
你眉毛別一副充滿希望的樣子

76
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,748
我控制不住,它們就是充滿希望

77
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,127
吉米,拜託,我一直努力
好聲好氣地跟你說我需要空間

78
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,087
球在我手上

79
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,922
你無權控球

80
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,759
不太能這麼說
讓我們走到這一步的就是我的球球吧

81
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,264
- 我很想妳
- 好喔,去死吧

82
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,186
讓寶寶穿牛仔靴?

83
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,645
她已經在跳脫衣舞了嗎?

84
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:53,608
那愛批評人的語氣我到哪都認得出來

85
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,985
麥克,我的天啊,嗨

86
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,571
來,嘿,妳好

87
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,365
哇,妳都沒變老耶

88
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,450
開頭真棒

89
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,077
而且好瘦,妳看起來好像生病了

90
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,621
我的天啊,真是謝謝你

91
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,123
有多久不見了?25年?

92
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,043
快跟我說全部的事,妳都在忙什麼?

93
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,629
很多很酷的事啊

94
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,297
生小孩

95
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,340
收集石頭

96
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,592
妳還在拍照嗎?妳一直都很會拍照

97
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,220
有,我其實都有在拍攝野生動物

98
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:24,806
- 沒什麼啦,只是,你也知道的...
- 哈囉

99
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,309
我們不是要一起喝杯酒,吃點心嗎?

100
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,103
怎麼最後變成妳給我一張清單
幫妳找齊物品,然後幫妳付錢?

101
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,396
因為我就是這樣購物的啊

102
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,981
那如果我買錯了乳酪,妳就別生我的氣

103
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,859
- 你買錯了乳酪嗎?
- 我買錯乳酪了

104
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:39,612
- 嘿,我是吉米,莉茲的工具人
- 嘿,我是麥克

105
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,531
- 是麥考利的簡稱嗎?
- 不是

106
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,783
真討厭

107
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,617
你們是怎麼認識的?

108
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,327
- 老朋友
- 是砲友

109
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,746
兩種我都超愛耶

110
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,624
好吧,很高興見到你

111
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,043
我也是,小莉莉

112
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,924
不要說...

113
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,220
小莉莉

114
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,098
我就叫你別說了

115
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:10,393
我沒有很奇怪,我保證都沒問題

116
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,395
你確定?因為你什麼都可以跟我說喔

117
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,356
我只有受不了騙子而已
因為我是沒有祕密的

118
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,150
- 我正處在誠實的階段
- 嘿

119
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,696
珊莫,那是我的衣服嗎?

120
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,447
我在洗衣籃裡找到的

121
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,741
被我沾到亮粉了
抱歉啊,小壞蛋,我去換衣服

122
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,828
- 謝了,珊莫
- 不客氣

123
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,122
- 我的天啊,你討厭她
- 我不討厭她

124
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:34,125
我只是討厭她說的所有話
跟她做的所有事

125
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,585
我喜歡你這樣

126
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,337
真希望小加在這裡

127
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,464
但多虧了吉米那悲哀又自私的老二

128
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,300
她這次又不來了

129
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,302
我的老二才沒有那樣

130
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,888
它很樂觀,而且總是把別人看得更重要

131
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,472
所以你的老二就像《芝麻街》的艾蒙

132
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,726
顏色一樣,只是聲音更低沉

133
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,352
搔搔我...

134
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,395
住口,不,停下來,別說了

135
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,063
我的老二聲音就像巨人安德烈

136
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,942
哈囉,小姐,有人想來根老二嗎?

137
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,153
有人想來塊買錯的乳酪嗎?

138
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,364
我來點吧,小莉莉

139
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,783
我們碰到一個叫她小莉莉的男人喔

140
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,747
你們碰到麥克了?

141
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,082
妳有打算跟我說嗎?

142
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,209
根本沒什麼啊

143
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,336
什麼?我不知道是怎麼了耶

144
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:21,839
- 我覺得德瑞克應該無所謂吧
- 沒有,我沒有吃醋

145
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,800
我是說,我不在乎她認識我之前
都跟誰上過床

146
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,970
包括她大學時的男朋友、藍尼克羅維茲...

147
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,305
真的嗎?

148
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,723
好啦,我以為他是藍尼克羅維茲

149
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,392
而且他很久一段時間都沒有糾正我

150
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:37,813
那個叫做麥克的傢伙
就是不知怎麼著惹到我

151
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,106
開始囉

152
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,151
如果她要麥克跟她私奔,麥克想都不會想

153
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,445
就會馬上走人、消失、一溜煙就不見

154
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:48,407
- 真是太不尊重人了,對吧?
- 對

155
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,493
對啊

156
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,036
- 兄弟啊
- 對不起啦

157
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,331
我很...說真的,對不起啦

158
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,375
- 嘿,爸
- 很好,妳找到錢包了

159
00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:01,212
對,很可惜,裡面還是沒有信用卡

160
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,339
我可以借點錢,去買學校的東西嗎?

161
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,340
哪種學校的東西?

162
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,424
碎肉餅漢堡

163
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,343
- 聽起來不錯喔
- 對啊

164
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,595
- 嘿
- 嗨

165
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,389
對不起,我別無選擇

166
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,559
- 你別無...
- 妳這個死騷貨

167
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,310
- 妳竟敢?
- 靠

168
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,312
嘿,冷靜

169
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,438
我的胸部

170
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,774
嘿,珊莫,說人話

171
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,610
妳說他看起來就像
在噴泉尿尿的那些雕像小童

172
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,154
但妳還是上他了

173
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,574
珊莫,等等啊

174
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,701
別跟著我

175
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,620
- 妳還好嗎?
- 沒事,我很好

176
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,335
好吧,可憐的康納

177
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,213
但我很開心

178
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:13,827
《誠實診療室》

179
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,625
{\an8}嘿,妳的胸部還好嗎?

180
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,752
{\an8}很痛

181
00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,922
{\an8}所以我才從來都不上紅髮仔

182
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,924
{\an8}我滿手都是亮粉

183
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,177
{\an8}是我活該

184
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,553
{\an8}我真的是個好爛的人

185
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,139
{\an8}嘿,別鑽牛角尖

186
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,058
{\an8}這段談話的開頭...

187
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,976
{\an8}我要讓妳知道我是個對於性
抱持正面態度的爸爸

188
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,604
{\an8}噁心,我們不談這個

189
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,856
{\an8}謝天謝地

190
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,191
{\an8}妳覺得這是怎麼回事呢?

191
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,903
{\an8}我是說,妳似乎從來都對康納
不怎麼感興趣

192
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,781
{\an8}我不想談這個

193
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,157
{\an8}好

194
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,286
{\an8}我原本還以為我們開始進入了一個

195
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,871
{\an8}可以無話不談的階段

196
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,124
{\an8}你是真的相信
還是只是想讓我產生罪惡感?

197
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,460
{\an8}可以兩者皆有嗎?

198
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,091
{\an8}我通常這時候都會憤而離開,但我很痛

199
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,468
{\an8}想要我幫妳嗎?

200
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,096
{\an8}- 好啊
- 天啊,爸

201
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,853
{\an8}跟你說,我會更常回家

202
00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:24,021
{\an8}只要我妹不會每次都惹火我

203
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,817
{\an8}跟你說,前毒蟲都好愛批評人
真的好討厭

204
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,822
{\an8}所以妳從小就得照顧一個毒蟲
然後又跟一個毒蟲結婚

205
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,198
{\an8}真有意思

206
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,659
{\an8}很棒的觀察,保羅,我從來都沒想到過呢

207
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,327
{\an8}嘿,我知道家家有本難唸的經

208
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,788
{\an8}我女兒來這裡演講

209
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:45,501
{\an8}現在她跟我那做作的女婿
還有我前妻都在我家

210
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,796
{\an8}我猜他們應該正在打算
用說我的壞話來殺死我

211
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,008
{\an8}你前妻是什麼樣子?
她有像茱莉那樣性感迷人嗎?

212
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,718
沒有人能跟茱莉一樣性感迷人

213
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,596
正確答案,我會向我的女王回報的

214
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,682
好傢伙,她超辣的

215
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,018
聽我說,我知道妳說過妳需要一些空間

216
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,269
我無意跨越...

217
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,730
你可以先不要說話一下嗎?

218
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,608
- 為何?
- 這樣我就能離開

219
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:10,693
我覺得這爛帳太無聊了

220
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,613
- 好
- 大家都是

221
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,992
保羅,大家是誰?
在這裡工作的只有我們三個

222
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,162
小加,聽我說,艾莉絲的事情需要協助

223
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,288
我聽說她的奶子被揍了

224
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,041
康納有兩個辣妹
在為他爭風吃醋真是太扯了

225
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,711
那個可憐的小天使
絕對不知道自己在19歲就到巔峰了

226
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,672
我只想知道艾莉絲為何這麼做
妳知道吧?她不跟我說

227
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,965
跟我說你沒有讓她產生罪惡感

228
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,510
我不會讓小孩產生罪惡感

229
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,677
我讓她產生了滿滿的罪惡感

230
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,179
你為何每次都把自己當主角?

231
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,889
你想要再次當朋友嗎?

232
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,266
真朋友會對彼此說出殘酷的真相
所以你聽好了

233
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:46,604
艾莉絲最需要的是被愛的感覺
也許你該帶她出門,為她打打氣

234
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,397
這樣她就不會覺得世界末日要到了

235
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,483
你不需要知道她上自己閨蜜男朋友的原因

236
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,442
她知道自己為何那麼做

237
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,819
而且你也沒那個資格開課去教人家

238
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,739
要怎麼選擇最恰當的砲友

239
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,452
我知道妳只是想嘴我
但有很多人會想聽我教這堂課

240
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,915
你不用開車載我

241
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,417
妳開玩笑嗎?我想啊

242
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,294
妳決定第一天上學要穿這樣?

243
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,381
妳這樣子很像警方的肖像畫

244
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,049
我很確定珊莫已經跟所有人說
我幹了什麼事

245
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,219
所以我該去當個校園騷貨了

246
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,012
妳知道怎麼著?

247
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,930
把安全帶繫回去

248
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,391
什麼?為何?

249
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,186
好

250
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,487
刺青?真的嗎?

251
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,947
妳幾週後就要滿18歲了

252
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,866
我猜不管我准不准,妳都會去刺

253
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,118
一點也沒錯

254
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,454
不過我本來要刺在你絕對看不見的地方

255
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,791
據我所知,妳已經那麼幹了吧

256
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:51,628
妳也笑得太開心了吧

257
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,591
給你,苦瓜臉,吃點東西吧

258
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,593
哎呀,妳一定是個聖人

259
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,305
我能想到跟保羅交往最糟糕的事

260
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:05,099
就是跟老了的保羅交往

261
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,852
幸好他很怕我

262
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,478
恭喜啊

263
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,023
他就在這裡呢

264
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,153
蘇西跟茱莉處得好真的很酷吧?

265
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,405
酷極了,戴夫

266
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,825
希望她們會聊到我的床技

267
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,955
- 對,這個嘛...所以,那是...
- 可以幫我拿杯紅酒來嗎?

268
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,290
好,馬上來

269
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,000
日落後的每個小時我都覺得好幸運

270
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,585
凱文來了

271
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,836
他為何叫你凱文?

272
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,131
他想要讓我腳踏實地,但根本無效

273
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,800
- 哈囉,茱莉美女
- 布萊恩

274
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,845
妳一定就是蘇珊美女吧
真迷人,我確定妳就是

275
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,181
- 我喜歡他
- 對,他很活潑

276
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,850
抱歉遲到了,剛剛在見某個人

277
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,561
我收到你那封全大寫的郵件了

278
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,023
答案是不行,你不能因為鄰居
辦鼓圈聚會就告對方

279
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,900
每週都辦耶,凱文

280
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,904
好的,各位,拿著你們的雞尾酒
我們要來玩跑跑猜字遊戲了

281
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:00,822
爸,是你最愛的

282
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,116
- 跑跑猜字遊戲是啥啊?
- 我他媽怎麼會知道?

283
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,744
好,聽一下,在你去玩之前
我修改了家庭信託

284
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:10,248
- 我只需要蘇珊來簽名
- 蘇珊

285
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:14,168
我們也許應該在梅森出生的時候
就把這個給辦好

286
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:18,257
但保羅忙著躲我,長達20年

287
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,133
- 妳很搞笑喔
- 謝謝

288
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,261
- 她很搞笑耶
- 超搞笑的

289
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:24,554
對啊,嘿,戴夫

290
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,180
好,我稍早想跟你說的...

291
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,516
- 不要
- 好

292
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,059
你得把我救出去

293
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,353
不行...別把我扯進來

294
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:33,438
我不會

295
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,442
各位,很抱歉
我得去凱文的辦公室簽一份文件

296
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,113
出了點問題,他來解釋原因

297
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,322
我得讓保羅簽名時

298
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,490
- 有公證人在場
- 討厭

299
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,492
我唯一認識的公證人無法走路
所以我們得去找他

300
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,077
真是個悲慘的故事

301
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,454
老天爺啊

302
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,673
- 嗨
- 是麥克嗎?

303
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,382
幫我跟他打招呼

304
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,509
還有麥克這名字真蠢

305
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:05,678
妳還好嗎?

306
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,929
這裡情況真是太慘了

307
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,181
德瑞克在折磨我

308
00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,600
而且康納又回到整天哀哀叫的軟爛狀態了

309
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,727
- 媽
- 親愛的,怎麼了?

310
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,103
我可以去妳房間看電視嗎?

311
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,898
當然啊,我好愛你

312
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,775
我的天啊,真是個娘娘腔,那妳呢?

313
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,528
為最糟的情況做好準備
不過妳也知道,我們行的

314
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,280
我們是堅強的黑人女性

315
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,116
好,我只讓妳用這一次

316
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,327
- 知道了
- 再見

317
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:33,206
妳以為只因為妳有那個超大水壺

318
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:35,041
妳就比所有人優秀嗎?

319
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,834
別多管閒事,貝利先生

320
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:37,960
見鬼了

321
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,337
妳是在等著人邀請妳

322
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:41,506
或妳只是忘了這是妳家?
因為妳從來都不回家

323
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,300
從大門就開始酸我?

324
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,801
她都在大門酸所有人喔

325
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,179
- 他媽的閉嘴啦,貝利先生
- 對啊,安靜點,貝利先生

326
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,347
- 該死耶
- 真該死

327
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,266
一副飛濺山飛車操作員的樣子

328
00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:54,310
爸,你不看嗎?

329
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:56,647
不要,但聲音跟氣味都棒極了

330
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,147
好了

331
00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,360
- “TL”是什麼意思?
- 是我媽名字的縮寫

332
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,195
嘿,媽的刺青有什麼意思嗎?

333
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:07,698
骷髏頭溜滑板有什麼特殊意義嗎?

334
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,325
其實有

335
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:12,663
那表示當天晚上她爛醉一通,所以...

336
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,748
你想刺嗎?給你們買一送一優惠

337
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,376
我對於優惠的刺青沒什麼興趣

338
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:22,046
爸,如果我們兩個身上都有媽名字的縮寫
對我來說會很有意義

339
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,549
妳現在是在讓我背負罪惡感嗎?

340
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:24,967
拜託啦

341
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,427
幹

342
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,140
好喔,你家是怎麼回事啊?

343
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,144
- 不用,謝了
- 拜託,你可以跟我聊啊

344
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,855
這裡的事絕不外傳喔

345
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,816
你有背著另一半劈腿過嗎?

346
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,610
不知道你對加州的男同志圈瞭解多深

347
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,822
不過我是極為擁護單一伴侶制的

348
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,241
好,1960年代情況剛好相反

349
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:51,450
不如這麼說吧?

350
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,703
我鄭重聲明,我從沒背著查理劈腿過

351
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:57,123
蘇珊跟我超年經就結婚了

352
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,170
就在梅格出生的時候,我的事業起飛了

353
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,757
出書、巡迴演講,什麼都來

354
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,468
我們漸行漸遠

355
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:10,803
所以你是那種老套的故事

356
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,640
我不喜歡你在我說故事的時候插嘴

357
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,975
好啦,好

358
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:19,062
我們大吵了一架,好幾天不說話

359
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:24,902
然後有一天早上
她打電話來我飯店房間,說她很抱歉

360
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:30,657
但她不知道我房間裡有另一個女人

361
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,534
夭壽喔

362
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,327
抱歉

363
00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:38,874
我承認了,然後她很快就把梅格帶走

364
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:44,338
我覺得非常丟臉,所以我沒有跟她爭

365
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,924
我不知道她現在為何要恢復聯繫

366
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,550
你為何不去問她?

367
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:53,095
因為如果是跟過去有關,那我就不感興趣

368
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,555
所以你在害怕?

369
00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,016
我才不怕

370
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,559
我是很擔心

371
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,021
這就是害怕的同義詞

372
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,652
我愛痛苦

373
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,154
好

374
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,075
現在開車載我回家吧,凱文

375
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:20,039
爸...

376
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,124
爸

377
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:23,252
那是一根針嗎?

378
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,046
那是一根針嗎?是不是?到底是不是?

379
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,675
回答我,那是一根針嗎?
我得知道那到底有幾根針

380
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,052
她的視力變得好差

381
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,887
她得去做白內障手術

382
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,765
我怕她會因此而受傷

383
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,724
而且她的奶子都會露在外面

384
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,768
媽都會露奶,她覺得很自豪

385
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,187
而且妳知道她很固執
可能根本不會聽我的話

386
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,564
拜託

387
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,275
她會說:“小加,我的天使寶寶

388
00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:50,903
妳累嗎?何不把妳的頭
靠在我這鬆垮的奶子上?”

389
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:51,905
好啦

390
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:55,533
- 是我的天使寶寶耶
- 媽媽

391
00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:58,912
- 媽媽
- 真高興見到妳

392
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,540
妳的頭髮真美

393
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,917
看吧,就跟妳說她的眼睛不管用

394
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,253
我的天啊,閉嘴啦

395
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:10,590
只是個15分鐘的門診手術
妳在怕什麼啦?

396
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,592
我知道眼球會被切開

397
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,051
不然要怎麼放進去?

398
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,386
我不想放進去

399
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,387
那妳就不能再開車

400
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,097
- 好
- 妳在跟誰說...

401
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,432
- 等等...媽
- 妳上路很危險

402
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,349
幹嘛?

403
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:24,229
媽,可以請妳去做手術嗎?算是為了我

404
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,274
好,好啦,就為了妳

405
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:31,653
可是我不要戴眼罩,我才不是什麼海盜

406
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,530
好,現在妳說:“謝謝”

407
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,698
接著我會說:“不客氣”

408
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:36,950
去妳的,小加

409
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,745
不客氣

410
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,834
收容所不採用我拍的狗狗照片

411
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:50,130
他們說用自己的手機拍
然後上傳比較簡單

412
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:51,924
你相信這胡扯嗎?

413
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,050
好啦

414
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,761
我知道你很愛對我冷暴力

415
00:18:56,762 --> 00:19:01,308
但你要記得,如果超過兩天
我就會開始喜歡這樣

416
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,186
我這週末就會跟妳說話

417
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,188
討厭啦,我說話了

418
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:09,065
嘿,康納

419
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,858
我在想,關於珊莫的事

420
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,569
你何不就好好地感恩你們共度的

421
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,155
這精彩又激情的九天呢?

422
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,408
- 是十天
- 那又更有意義了

423
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,828
但你得帶著正面積極的心態回大學去

424
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,665
我是說,學期就要開始了,對吧?

425
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,959
上週就開始上課了

426
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,169
我跟珊莫過得好開心

427
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,463
現在我覺得我得待下來
這樣才能好好地挽回

428
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,757
拜託別生氣

429
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,010
我覺得妳在生氣

430
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,263
我沒有生氣

431
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,056
不過我得去透透氣

432
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,897
- 嘿,莉茲
- 天啊,他真是陰魂不散

433
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,651
妳看,我跟艾莉絲有一樣的刺青喔

434
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,819
這是媞亞名字的縮寫

435
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,405
剛開始我覺得這樣
應該會讓我很難回歸約會市場

436
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,365
因為手臂上有另一個女人名字的縮寫

437
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,618
但後來我發現這是個很酷的方式
讓對方知道我老婆死掉了

438
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:03,579
我現在不想聊,吉米

439
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,080
都還好嗎?

440
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:07,373
地球呼叫小莉莉

441
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,375
小莉莉,妳還好嗎?小莉莉

442
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,544
你就是忍不住,對吧?

443
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,922
好啊,你知道艾莉絲想要小刺青
是哪來的靈感嗎?

444
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,259
是我,因為我的小刺青

445
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,972
是在我幫你養她的時候
我們一起想出來的

446
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,807
你知道我剛剛發現了什麼事嗎?

447
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:27,602
康納開學了,但他沒去學校

448
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,814
因為他在我的廚房裡哭
原因是你女兒上了他

449
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,983
然後他媽的毀了他的人生

450
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,194
- 天啊
- 天啊...

451
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,196
- 我說話不是那樣
- 你說話就是這樣

452
00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,864
嘿,劈腿的人是康納

453
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:45,370
你真的覺得有個世界
是康納想上誰就上誰的嗎?

454
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,664
- 沒有
- 我覺得我快發瘋了,吉米

455
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:52,752
每次我有這種感覺
都能把原因歸到一個人身上

456
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,212
對,就是你

457
00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:57,632
而且超級無敵感謝你
讓尚恩進入我的生命中

458
00:20:57,633 --> 00:21:01,552
讓我能開始做生意,然後找到人生的意義

459
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,637
“去找人生的意義,莉茲”

460
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:07,058
現在變成了我得面對的一大團混亂

461
00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:10,728
- 妳會那樣不是我的錯...
- 我還沒說完

462
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:14,690
你還用你那根愛討拍的老二
搞爛了我們的朋友圈

463
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:19,487
也許還不到可悲或自私吧
但真的超愛討拍的

464
00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:20,780
- 沒事的
- 還有

465
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:23,241
你還去惹潘的工班

466
00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:25,660
現在他們把瓶瓶罐罐
都丟在我們家院子裡了

467
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:29,997
通常呢,德瑞克會協助我度過我的崩潰期

468
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:33,417
但多虧了你,他現在不跟我說話

469
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,629
而不知道怎麼地,這次我不喜歡這樣

470
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,632
我已經為此道歉了,妳也原諒我了

471
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,176
你沒有被原諒,你他媽的沒有被原諒

472
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:45,054
你根本就不能被原諒

473
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,849
但你才不管咧,你對此什麼都不做

474
00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,392
就像小加的事

475
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,018
我終於有了個很酷的朋友

476
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:54,314
我甚至對著所有我討厭的人炫耀她

477
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:56,983
但因為她都不來這裡了

478
00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,776
他們都不相信真有這個人

479
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,404
對啦,我也許說了她身高有210公分吧

480
00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:03,781
但你把她趕走了,而且什麼都沒做

481
00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,908
你只是坐在那裡

482
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:08,202
等著誰騎著白馬過來

483
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,705
幫你把事情都處理好
因為你他媽就是那樣

484
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:11,622
對吧?是不是啊?

485
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:13,166
你去死吧,吉米

486
00:22:14,418 --> 00:22:15,919
今天本來很開心的

487
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:21,257
如果你們選擇領養這條路,我有幾個問題

488
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:24,135
要記得,沒有錯誤的答案

489
00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:26,679
好,第一題,有種族偏好嗎?

490
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,389
佩德羅帕斯卡是什麼種族的?

491
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,392
或許也是有些錯誤答案

492
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:32,310
好,下一個問題

493
00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,855
你們願不願意考慮有健康問題

494
00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,732
可能需要更費心照顧的孩子?

495
00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,525
當然

496
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,736
不願意

497
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,361
我看得到

498
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:46,115
你可以直接說不願意
很多不好心的人都說不願意

499
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:47,034
我有個問題

500
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:50,412
如果寶寶不喜歡我怎麼辦?

501
00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:52,914
可以送回去嗎?

502
00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:57,877
這個嘛,是不能退貨
不過有30天的換貨政策

503
00:22:57,878 --> 00:23:00,172
- 真的嗎?
- 沒有,那是個寶寶耶

504
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:02,632
會一直這樣子嗎?

505
00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:03,926
你會習慣的

506
00:23:04,885 --> 00:23:06,887
我應該是習慣不了

507
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:13,559
好,讓我搞清楚,你大方做自己
然後讓自己大大地丟了臉

508
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,186
那怎麼會是我的錯?

509
00:23:15,187 --> 00:23:16,604
因為多虧了你

510
00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:19,232
我超怕我最後會養出個關係疏遠的女兒

511
00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:21,068
而且前任還不跟我說話

512
00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:23,319
去跟你前妻談談吧

513
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,363
你連她為何來這裡都不知道

514
00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:28,032
也許她找到了一幅價值十億的畫
你可以分一半

515
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,535
可能會是有趣的消息

516
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:35,040
蘇珊

517
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,042
妳跑來這裡幹嘛?

518
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,546
我有個朋友最近確診了帕金森氏症

519
00:23:41,547 --> 00:23:43,005
她幾個月後就去世了

520
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,426
我覺得在你死前
你跟我應該能重新開始跟彼此說話

521
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,141
你說得對

522
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,601
有趣的消息

523
00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:57,520
我喜歡,妳何不腦力激盪一下

524
00:23:57,521 --> 00:24:01,232
然後我們下週再深入討論

525
00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:02,984
好的,謝了,艾凡斯教授

526
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,528
好的,掰

527
00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:07,196
艾凡斯教授?

528
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:11,534
好,好啦,週一媽做完手術
妳能不能去接她?

529
00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:13,411
我會超感激妳的,謝謝

530
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:16,330
不行,其實我沒辦法,因為我一整天滿診

531
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:17,707
然後還要去教課...

532
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,417
為何?妳有什麼事嗎?

533
00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:20,960
抱歉,我不能有自己的人生?

534
00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:22,795
拜託,妳就是為此而住在這裡的

535
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:26,883
不對,我住在這裡是為了伺候媽媽
開車接送她去做透析

536
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:28,926
妳知道全年無休照顧人是什麼感覺嗎?

537
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,304
我其實知道,因為從小都是我在做

538
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:32,471
我們都有做

539
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:34,599
妳知道我為了妳犧牲了多少嗎?

540
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,726
妳知道我錯過了多少學校舞會

541
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,978
都是為了讓妳在勒戒所進進出出?

542
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,521
我大可以去跟一堆男生跳舞

543
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:42,398
- 妳又沒差
- 隨便啦

544
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:45,526
別再自怨自艾了,好嗎?
現在輪到妳照顧媽了

545
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,570
我知道過去這幾年我一直在照顧媽

546
00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:48,738
是因為我在贖罪

547
00:24:48,739 --> 00:24:50,573
我讓大家都很慘

548
00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:53,951
我只是沒想到我得花一輩子來付出代價

549
00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:57,080
而妳卻能出去過自己的人生

550
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:02,920
沒其他話要說嗎?
我還以為大家都搶著付錢要妳開口呢

551
00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,424
其實他們是付錢要我聆聽

552
00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:15,723
我一直都在躲妳,因為我是個孬種

553
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,642
我不會這麼形容

554
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:18,976
妳會怎麼形容?

555
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,479
王八蛋小孬孬

556
00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:23,190
這的確比較好

557
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:27,778
跟妳老實說,我以為妳跑來
是為了讓我產生罪惡感

558
00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:30,781
但如果我實踐自己所推廣的做法

559
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:34,910
我其實應該抱著更多的善意去見妳

560
00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,495
{\an8}爸,這把鉗子太好用了

561
00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,121
{\an8}對啊,很適合幫蝦子去泥腸

562
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:40,164
{\an8}(抱歉,休息了)

563
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:43,001
是啊,我最喜歡跟你一起去蝦子的泥腸了

564
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:44,878
好喔

565
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,925
嘿,我想要跟你談談

566
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:52,427
我前幾天跟著你回家

567
00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,138
- 我看到你跟治療師住在一起
- 對

568
00:25:56,139 --> 00:26:00,143
到底是怎麼了?
我沒有生氣,只是想要搞清楚

569
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,689
我想要趁還來得及

570
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:05,858
可以多見到彼此

571
00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:08,734
記得梅格那些無聊的學校話劇嗎?

572
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:12,363
我們以前都會把扁酒瓶傳來傳去
玩“挖就喝”

573
00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:15,701
只要有小孩挖鼻孔,我們就喝酒

574
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:18,829
那些臭小鬼讓我們爛醉如泥

575
00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:24,168
我們怎麼會走到這一步?
我們為何無法跟彼此相處?

576
00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:26,420
因為我劈腿了

577
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:29,965
而且我搞砸了一切

578
00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:36,137
我無法原諒我自己,那妳如何能原諒我?

579
00:26:36,138 --> 00:26:38,473
保羅,我原諒你了

580
00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:42,351
天啊,我很久以前就原諒你了

581
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:43,811
妳可以跟我說啊

582
00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:45,314
那樣有什麼樂趣?

583
00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:50,277
對啦,你曾經是個討厭鬼
但我很痛恨你的成功

584
00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:52,821
我知道我讓你的處境變得更艱難

585
00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:56,365
外面這裡的大家都好嗎?

586
00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:57,533
都很好

587
00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:58,702
聊天啊

588
00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:00,579
好棒喔

589
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:05,459
然而,不管我們對彼此做了什麼

590
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:07,418
我們生出了梅格

591
00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:09,338
而且她超棒的

592
00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:11,297
對啊,沒錯

593
00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:14,218
而現在又有梅森
你能相信我們有多幸運嗎?

594
00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:17,804
那麼戴夫呢?

595
00:27:21,892 --> 00:27:23,392
我沒有提到他,對吧?

596
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:27,189
蘇珊,非常感謝妳

597
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:29,316
還有他們

598
00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:34,445
當身邊有這麼多的家人和愛

599
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,739
{\an8}原諒就是容易的部分了

600
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,032
{\an8}(卡瓊餐車)

601
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:40,953
所以,我當時求你幫我
也許我的做法不對,可是...

602
00:27:41,662 --> 00:27:46,040
我猜我因此覺得你讓我失望了
而我不知道該怎麼跟你說

603
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:47,543
也許我不想跟你說吧

604
00:27:53,507 --> 00:27:54,716
我就知道會發生這種爛事

605
00:27:55,509 --> 00:27:57,135
他媽的治療師

606
00:27:57,886 --> 00:27:59,929
總是叫人去責怪自己的父母

607
00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:01,347
沒人叫我去怪你

608
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:02,807
好,我做了什麼罪大惡極的事?

609
00:28:02,808 --> 00:28:05,309
是23年來無條件地愛你?

610
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:08,856
還是花光我的積蓄
跟你一起在這輛爛餐車混?

611
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:11,649
我可是有正職工作的

612
00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,652
跟我說我做了什麼讓你失望

613
00:28:14,528 --> 00:28:15,362
跟我說啊

614
00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:17,321
就是這樣

615
00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:19,950
去跟別人說這番胡扯吧

616
00:28:33,046 --> 00:28:34,423
吉米,你跑來這裡幹嘛?

617
00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:37,551
妳要知道我沒有不良意圖

618
00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:39,887
老兄,搞啥啊?

619
00:28:40,888 --> 00:28:44,098
媽的,我錯了,我以為我穿的是黑色內褲

620
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:47,102
嘿,我來是因為我覺得
妳可能會需要點支援

621
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,479
不知道怎麼地,妳媽跟妹妹似乎很喜歡我

622
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,482
因為我以前都跟她們說你很棒

623
00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:55,903
我沒能讓妳擁有自己的空間

624
00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:58,614
而我會努力做得更好

625
00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:03,744
現在不是時候,我完全懂,我會滾開

626
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,546
你到底要不要進來?

627
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:19,550
然後蔻妮竟然有膽指責我

628
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:21,302
就像我把她當人質什麼的

629
00:29:21,303 --> 00:29:22,513
你能相信嗎?

630
00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:27,183
怎麼了嗎?

631
00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:29,811
我開車來這裡是為了要挺妳

632
00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:33,898
但妳也說朋友要告訴彼此殘酷的事實

633
00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:35,650
真是太難受了,我可以去快快洗個澡嗎?

634
00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:36,692
不可以,快說啦

635
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:38,819
- 妳妹說得對,小加
- 我的天啊,你去死

636
00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:41,240
拜託,沒錯,她說得對,妳自己知道

637
00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:43,742
真該死

638
00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:46,703
抱歉

639
00:29:48,288 --> 00:29:49,789
妳要我現在滾開嗎?

640
00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:50,957
想得美

641
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:53,167
晚餐一定很痛苦,所以你要留下來

642
00:29:53,168 --> 00:29:55,462
- 她們知道我們曾經上過床嗎?
- 不知道

643
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:57,798
那我有破冰的話題了

644
00:29:58,966 --> 00:29:59,967
你蠢爆了

645
00:30:06,557 --> 00:30:07,890
- 嘿
- 嘿

646
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:10,977
我幫妳點了塔可餅外送
但他們送錯東西來了

647
00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:17,818
所以這裡有便利商店
自有品牌的諾比舒冒和痘痘妙鼻貼

648
00:30:18,443 --> 00:30:20,404
聽起來會是好玩的一晚

649
00:30:22,698 --> 00:30:24,532
我很抱歉搞砸了所有事

650
00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,619
妳傷害了康納
而我比世界上任何人都更愛他

651
00:30:28,579 --> 00:30:30,997
但妳是我第二愛的

652
00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:32,290
妳還有另外兩個兒子耶

653
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,500
我說的都是真心的

654
00:30:34,459 --> 00:30:36,378
妳跟我會和好如初,對吧?

655
00:30:37,254 --> 00:30:39,630
妳都有顆石頭了,我只是需要多一點時間

656
00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:40,716
好

657
00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:45,220
- 剛剛的時間夠了嗎?
- 還差一點

658
00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:49,682
如各位所見,我們能提升光電的吸收率

659
00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:55,022
採用半導體材料
針對特定光譜範圍進行微調

660
00:30:55,564 --> 00:30:57,065
我應該提到這些...

661
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,092
- 拜託啦
- 好啦,孩子

662
00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:26,177
我也加了一點糖

663
00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:28,137
- 這真的是高達乳酪
- 手肘別放在桌上,寶貝

664
00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,223
- 對,手肘別...
- 我的老天爺...

665
00:31:30,224 --> 00:31:32,600
他們今天早上來收了垃圾桶

666
00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,561
妳們家的垃圾桶怎麼還在路上?

667
00:31:35,145 --> 00:31:36,604
你他媽幹嘛跑來我家草皮上?

668
00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:38,022
我們不跟你來這一套,貝利先生

669
00:31:38,023 --> 00:31:39,273
你才是垃圾桶

670
00:31:39,274 --> 00:31:40,900
對,去你的,貝利先生

671
00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:41,984
你不可以這樣喔

672
00:31:41,985 --> 00:31:43,069
你要尊重那個人

673
00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:44,987
他是退伍老兵,跟他道歉

674
00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:46,073
是的,女士

675
00:31:48,158 --> 00:31:49,201
我很抱歉,先生

676
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:51,494
感謝你為國從軍

677
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:52,704
很好,很乖

678
00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,625
好,快閃啦,瘋子一個

679
00:32:15,978 --> 00:32:16,978
(酒吧)

680
00:32:16,979 --> 00:32:19,565
那個王八蛋,對啊

681
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:22,441
搞啥啊?

682
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:23,944
你忘了那個

683
00:32:24,862 --> 00:32:27,406
不想被揍的話,就別再靠近一步

684
00:32:32,661 --> 00:32:33,662
真是大錯特錯

685
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,338
- 你真的想這樣?來啊
- 好,他過來了

686
00:33:31,637 --> 00:33:33,639
字幕翻譯:徐懿芬