1
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,681
[Summer] ♪ Cheater, cheater, cheater
Cheater, cheater bitch ♪
2
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,099
♪ Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater... ♪
3
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,267
What's that?
4
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:21,062
Summer's making TikToks now,
calling me out.
5
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:24,233
♪ Cheater, cheater bitch
Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch ♪
6
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,192
It's been a week of this shit.
7
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,736
- I'm over it.
- [music stops]
8
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,823
Hate to say it, song kind of slaps.
9
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,033
It's a total banger.
10
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,870
- It's got that... [beatboxing]
- Yeah.
11
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:42,667
♪ Cheater, cheater, cheater
Cheater, cheater bitch ♪
12
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,668
♪ Cheater, cheater bitch ♪
13
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,796
- ♪ Cheater bitch-- ♪
- [Alice] I can hear you guys.
14
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,713
Sorry.
15
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,841
How was, uh, dinner with your folks?
16
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,552
Great. I've been teaching my dad
how to play Call of Duty.
17
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,846
We stayed up all night
shit-talking twelve-year-olds.
18
00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,640
- They're destroying you two, aren't they?
- Yeah. They're assholes.
19
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:58,558
[whistles, chuckles]
20
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,060
Oh, also,
you remember my army buddy, Jorge?
21
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,687
- The guy I hid from?
- Mmm.
22
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,690
He's coming back to town,
and I'm actually gonna hang with him.
23
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,985
That's great. In the therapy biz,
we'd say you're trending upward.
24
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,361
Thanks.
25
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:13,406
Still, I guess the best thing
about all this,
26
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,159
I discovered sitting in the shower.
27
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,078
- I don't think I'm ever going back.
- Tell me about it.
28
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Until I got my shower stool,
I don't think I'd ever washed my feet.
29
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,501
That's nasty.
30
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,962
[Alice] Dad, you're oversharing again.
31
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:29,464
Why haven't you left?
32
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,340
[straining]
33
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,800
Finally. Are we going?
34
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,886
No, wait.
I gotta fill my water bottle again.
35
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,596
Okay, that's gonna take an hour.
[inhales sharply]
36
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,347
I'm gonna start
my hiking conversation now.
37
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,809
Charlie and I signed the paperwork.
We've decided to adopt.
38
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,019
- Whoa.
- [Liz] Yay!
39
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,187
- Hey!
- Congratulations.
40
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,938
- Thank you.
- How did you land on adoption
41
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,733
as opposed to just spotting a baby
you like and having Liz steal it for you?
42
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,526
I would totally steal a baby.
43
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,819
[Brian] We know.
44
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,739
So, this way, at parties
I can get all emotional and be like,
45
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,574
"It's like our baby adopted us."
46
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,242
Oh, that's the best.
47
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,577
- [Brian] Yeah.
- You'd be good at that.
48
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,329
I'm just excited
to see you with a dad bod.
49
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,873
So was I,
but I lost a coin toss with Charlie
50
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:07,084
to see who gets to let themselves go
and who has to stay shaved and ripped.
51
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,712
[groans] Guys, though,
we can't get too excited,
52
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,131
because Stuart said it might take forever.
53
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,716
[chuckles] But I don't get it.
54
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,886
How did you navigate the Mebane deal
without upsetting the partners?
55
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,097
You know, I just got in the sea about it
and I, uh... I figured it all out.
56
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,309
- Congrats.
- Got in the sea about it? I like it.
57
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,395
That's my favorite way to solve problems.
58
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,648
Anyway, um, I...
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00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:32,109
You know, I just stopped by to, uh,
talk shop with my mentor.
60
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,528
- That'd be me.
- [Derrick] That guy.
61
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:36,072
And, um... And he also told me
that you were gonna be here.
62
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:39,575
So I decided to put on my tightest pants
63
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,285
- and remind you that the guy...
- Oh.
64
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,247
...who asked you out on your voicemail
still exists.
65
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,581
- Okay.
- [Derrick] Unfortunately,
66
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,250
I think I put on a couple of pounds
67
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:51,003
'cause these bad boys are cutting off
the circulation to my gooch.
68
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,505
- They are tight.
- Mmm.
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00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,924
I'm gonna head out,
peel myself out of these pants. [chuckles]
70
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,092
- See you later.
- [Derrick] Bye.
71
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,343
- [Brian] See you, Derrick.
- [Liz] Bye.
72
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,427
[Derek] Ooh.
73
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,848
How do you let those two scoops
just walk away?
74
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,058
What I'd do to that if... if I was a woman.
75
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,102
Good news, Derek,
you don't have to be a woman.
76
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,146
- Grab a spoon.
- What's the spoon for?
77
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,897
[Gaby] All right, listen up.
78
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,442
I'll admit, okay,
I let that get away from me a bit.
79
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,530
After the stuff happened with my mom,
D-Two did call to check in on her,
80
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,867
but I didn't answer because I felt bad
that I didn't reach out first
81
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,869
- after I bailed on him.
- Wow.
82
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,289
Plus, now I think I'm a little intimidated
because if we do hook up,
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00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,541
then he would be, like,
the hottest guy I've ever been with.
84
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,625
- Mmm. Right.
- [Derek] Yeah.
85
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,877
One of the hottest.
86
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,712
No. The hottest by far.
87
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,130
Did you see that guy?
88
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:37,300
I am this close to throwing it all away
for a threesome with the Dereks.
89
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,343
Aw. Well, thanks for including me.
90
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,678
Only if the other one's there.
91
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:44,892
Okay. Yes, he is very attractive,
92
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,561
but who's Gaby's second hottest?
93
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,730
- Keith?
- Oh, my God! Keith.
94
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,773
- Keith was hot.
- [Liz] Keith. Yeah.
95
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,151
- He was crazy hot.
- [chuckles] I still text him.
96
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,320
- So, we have Derrick.
- [Gaby] Mm-hmm.
97
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,488
Then we have Keith coming in a hot second.
98
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,575
- Yeah.
- Then we have...
99
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:03,951
[mouthing words] Jimmy.
100
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,203
[Gaby] Mmm...
101
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,246
Jimmy.
102
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,748
- Joey.
- Oh, my God!
103
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,000
- Oh, my God.
- Joey who lives in his van? Joey?
104
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,543
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Yeah, a cool van.
105
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,128
And he had a big ol' dick.
106
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,588
Oh. Can't beat that.
107
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,881
- [Gaby] No.
- Fuck Joey.
108
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:20,343
Are you okay, boo?
I mean, I'll put you in fourth.
109
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,679
I'm fucking third, and you all know it.
110
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Let's go hiking.
111
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["Frightening Fishes"
by Benjamin Gibbard playing]
112
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{\an8}[Summer] ♪ Cheater, cheater, cheater
Cheater, cheater bitch ♪
113
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,634
{\an8}- ♪ Cheater, cheater bitch, cheater-- ♪
- [hums, scoffs]
114
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,219
{\an8}Summer's talented.
115
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,637
{\an8}I know. It's so catchy.
116
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,889
{\an8}- Yeah.
- I know you're seeing Alice later,
117
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,600
{\an8}so I just thought you should know
what she's dealing with. [sighs]
118
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,436
{\an8}- [knocks on door]
- [Dan] Hello?
119
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:12,855
Come on in, Dan.
120
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,315
Uh, sorry, but where were you sitting?
121
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,192
Um... [sighs] ...right there.
122
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,277
[exhales sharply]
123
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,153
He can't handle the warm spot.
124
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,657
{\an8}Then you two will have
plenty to talk about.
125
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,077
{\an8}- Have a seat, Dan.
- [door closes]
126
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,038
{\an8}Stan's wedding is tomorrow.
127
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,584
{\an8}He's my closest friend,
but he'll be busy getting married,
128
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,920
{\an8}and sitting alone at a table of strangers
is my nightmare,
129
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,799
{\an8}so I don't think I can do it.
130
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,635
{\an8}Dan, you know how I'm always
preaching about forward motion?
131
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,804
{\an8}Forging this friendship with Stan
is a huge breakthrough,
132
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:51,058
{\an8}but I think maybe it also gave you
the opportunity to stop.
133
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,810
{\an8}Stopping can be forward motion.
134
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,354
{\an8}Stopping can't be forward motion.
135
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,232
{\an8}Look, big part of friendship
is being there for each other.
136
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,692
{\an8}Do you wanna show up for Stan or not?
137
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,986
{\an8}[sighs]
138
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,822
{\an8}Yeah. I'd... I'd love to be there for him.
139
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,449
Then you're going to that wedding.
140
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,077
I doubt it. I'm terrified and stubborn.
It's a deadly combo.
141
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,789
Dan, I'm sorry, but in terms of patients,
I'm on a fucking hot streak.
142
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,709
I might be undefeatable,
which means you and I,
143
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,294
we gotta break through this wall.
144
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,754
In one session?
145
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,381
You're right, that's insane.
146
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,425
Okay. We're gonna
spend the whole day together.
147
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,804
You and I are gonna
kick this problem's ass. Starting now.
148
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,806
{\an8}- [groans]
- Shit. You know what?
149
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,642
{\an8}I have another patient
scheduled for later,
150
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,101
{\an8}and I'm supposed to get my teeth cleaned.
151
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,895
{\an8}All right, I need to make some phone calls
152
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,106
{\an8}and then we're gonna kick ass.
Starting now.
153
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:39,775
[exclaims]
154
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,402
It's your own warm spot, Dan. You're fine.
155
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,239
Mmm. Thanks for bringing me coffee again.
156
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,990
Even though I do have class
in five minutes, so...
157
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,158
- That's okay.
- Yeah.
158
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,410
I was gonna tell you all about myself,
but I'll condense it.
159
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,328
Please do.
160
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,746
- I'm from Massachusetts.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,414
Um, allergic to penicillin.
162
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,501
I love anything Alfredo,
even though I'm not great with dairy.
163
00:06:58,502 --> 00:06:59,502
Oh.
164
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,505
I once met Craig from Craigslist.
Terrible dude.
165
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:05,883
Mmm. Wow, there's, like,
two deal-breakers in there.
166
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:06,926
Which ones?
167
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,136
Well, definitely the
Alfredo-making-you-shit-your-pants part.
168
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,932
- [laughs] Worth it.
- [both laugh]
169
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:13,933
[Gaby] Oh, shit.
170
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,769
- What?
- It's Keisha. Don't look. Don't look.
171
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:17,895
Oh.
172
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,982
Wow. Yeah, she's coming.
Is she a threat? Should we run?
173
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,192
No, she's here on a track scholarship.
She'll catch us.
174
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,527
- [Derrick] Jesus.
- Hey.
175
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,780
- [panting]
- What's up?
176
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,867
My essay on family systems is due,
like, right now.
177
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,869
Could you read it and give me notes?
178
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,870
Just to be clear,
179
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,123
you want me to read and fix it
before you give it to me to read again?
180
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,249
Yes, please. [pants]
181
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,542
Ovaries of steel. I like it.
182
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,336
- Here. Give it to me.
- Thank you.
183
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,380
[sighs] Sorry. Once again.
184
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,716
It's okay,
because now I'm gonna use your guilt
185
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,259
to make you go
on a real date with me later.
186
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,094
- Really?
- I'll go out with you right now. [laughs]
187
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,179
- Wait, what?
- What?
188
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,600
You're always talking about self-care.
I mean, this is self-care.
189
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,685
Also, I have it on good authority
that her coochie is on lock.
190
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,978
And yours is open for business?
191
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,063
Inappropriate.
192
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,481
But, yeah. 24-7.
193
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,150
I'm not sure what your deal is, Keisha,
194
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,153
but you should probably
patch things up with your dad.
195
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:09,071
- [stammers]
- Keisha, do not fuck with my game.
196
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,116
Derrick, let's do it. This afternoon.
197
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,744
- [chuckles] All right.
- [Keisha] Wow.
198
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,624
Well, I had to. I needed to shoot my shot.
199
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,167
Excuse you.
200
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,210
Is this gonna affect my grade?
201
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,213
I'm gonna level with you, Keisha, probably.
202
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:25,588
- Probably.
- [sighs]
203
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:26,673
[Jimmy] Mmm.
204
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,675
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
205
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,720
Okay, why would anyone
wanna sit at a communal table?
206
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,972
This is classic exposure therapy, Dan.
207
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,017
Did you know that
fear-inducing situations,
208
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,230
they... they activate this little cluster
of neurons in your amygdala?
209
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,399
And exposure therapy
can help silence those fear neurons.
210
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,693
- No way.
- Yeah.
211
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,653
I didn't follow any of that.
212
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,239
You just trust me. It works.
213
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,367
I used to be afraid of spiders,
for example, so I got this book on 'em.
214
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,118
I learned their weird little ways,
215
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:59,706
and eventually I got to the point
I could catch one.
216
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,210
And now, if I see one of those
weird little fuckers,
217
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,172
I look him dead in his eight little eyes
and I say, "I'm the boss!"
218
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,300
- Cool.
- Got the pancakes, huh?
219
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,261
I did. They're fucking insane.
220
00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180
[chuckles] Yeah. What about you?
221
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:19,893
Uh, yeah.
These are pancakes, and I got them.
222
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,689
- Yeah, it's fucking insane.
- [chuckling] Yeah.
223
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,441
- [phone ringing]
- [Jimmy] Oh.
224
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,776
Excuse me for one second.
225
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,946
- It's, uh...
- [Jimmy] Hey, is-is everything okay?
226
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:32,989
Did you see the rainbow this morning?
227
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:37,828
Um, now that, uh, he's gone,
we don't need to talk anymore, so...
228
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,705
- Little force field.
- [Jimmy] Hey.
229
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:43,040
I have to go take care of something
at my daughter's school.
230
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,961
Thank God. Uh, this was a bad idea.
231
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,715
Hey. You sure you're cool being done here?
232
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,509
Look, I'm sorry I broke your hot streak.
233
00:09:56,263 --> 00:10:00,016
Connor still hasn't called me
since he went back to college.
234
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:03,227
Have you ever been ghosted by something
you squeezed out of your hoo?
235
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,897
- I have not.
- Hmm.
236
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:09,192
Hey, uh, come on by the microbrewery.
237
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:10,735
I w-wanna show you something.
238
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:14,113
I hope it's a list of synonyms
for microbrewery.
239
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,156
So pretentious.
240
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,533
- Good pretentious? [chuckles]
- Maybe.
241
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,619
See you later.
242
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,790
Paul. Hi. Cool.
243
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,417
This is my friend Mac.
244
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,794
No, we don't need to do this.
I'm heading in.
245
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,880
Okay.
246
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,218
- For me? [sighs]
- Yeah.
247
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,136
You gonna eat that?
248
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,556
Oh, this thing that I paid for
and then brought over here to the table?
249
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,642
I don't know.
250
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,603
Hey, Paul... No way, you have a friend?
251
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,397
We're not putting labels on it.
252
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,857
- I am Ray and we are in love.
- [Paul sniffs]
253
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,276
Adorable.
254
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,486
Um, I just wanted to let you know
255
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,073
that what you saw with Mac and me
was perfectly innocent.
256
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,328
When you make a point to come inside
and overexplain yourself,
257
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,331
then I definitely believe you.
258
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:09,961
Also, could you do me a solid
and not mention this to Derek?
259
00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,963
The plot thickens. There's a Derek.
260
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,089
I don't love him.
261
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:18,344
Listen, Mac and I are just old friends,
and my husband doesn't like him.
262
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,596
I feel compelled to ask.
263
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,683
This Mac guy... Stupid name, by the way.
264
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,851
Agreed.
265
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,228
Is he married?
266
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,605
- No.
- Does he listen to you?
267
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,984
Does he seem to give a shit
about your problems?
268
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,571
Yes. That's friendship.
269
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,906
Yeah, sure. [chuckles]
270
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,575
- Ray, you're single.
- Yes.
271
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:44,370
Do you hang out with attractive women,
just so that they can be friends?
272
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,538
Yes, one.
273
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,081
See? Mm-hmm.
274
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,333
I keep waiting for her to make a mistake.
275
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,419
- And then...
- Ah.
276
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:55,090
So, that's two votes for
"Mac wants to fuck you."
277
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:58,551
Okay, Statler and Waldorf,
you're both wrong.
278
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,094
No one wants to fuck me.
279
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:04,808
I mean, obviously people wanna fuck me,
but you know what I meant.
280
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,228
How do you know her?
281
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,772
She almost shit in my desk once.
282
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:17,195
So, the fight started when Summer
played the "cheater bitch" video
283
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:18,988
to the entire cafeteria.
284
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,073
- Okay.
- Alice grabbed Summer's phone
285
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,784
and threw it
into a bucket of ranch dressing.
286
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:27,331
Then there was screaming, and shoving,
and... [inhales sharply]
287
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,708
I'm listening to you.
288
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,835
So, then there was screaming, and shoving,
289
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,589
and somehow Mrs. Pritchard,
the art teacher,
290
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,341
was called a lonely, old skank...
291
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,759
[sighs]
292
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,844
- And went home, crying.
- Right.
293
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:47,434
I'm calling it RanchGate,
because I enjoy puns.
294
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,686
That's not really a pun.
295
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,105
Just putting "gate"
at the end of something isn't a pun.
296
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,440
Anyway, go on.
297
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,110
Both Alice and Summer are suspended.
298
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,822
I mean, we haven't seen
this type of violence since, well,
299
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,407
the last time you were here.
300
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,868
Which begs the question...
301
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,621
How are you and Alice doing?
302
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:13,961
I understand that you have
father-daughter tattoos.
303
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,507
Yes, but they are in tasteful
and in appropriate locations.
304
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,925
In appropriate.
305
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:25,054
I'm saying in, space, appropriate.
Not inappropriate.
306
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:28,808
What I'm trying to articulate to you
is that we are doing great.
307
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,059
Everything is back to normal.
308
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,020
Dad, who's this guy?
309
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,564
That's my patient, darling.
310
00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:37,984
Who doesn't wanna be here
because his issues stem from high school.
311
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,153
Everybody's issues
stem from high school, Dan!
312
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,113
[school bell rings]
313
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:43,198
We're done here.
314
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,159
So, what did you need to talk to us about?
315
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,745
It's our prospective parent biography,
isn't it?
316
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,748
I told you your title sounded
like a Grindr profile.
317
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,918
"Two daddies looking for a third"?
It worked before, it'll work again.
318
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:58,754
What even is Grindr? Wink.
319
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,340
- Did he say wink?
- He said wink.
320
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,426
Anyway, great news.
321
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,178
It rarely happens this fast,
322
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,932
but your biography must've been fine,
because a mother has chosen you.
323
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,350
Oh... Oh, my God. Wh-When?
324
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,021
She's being induced tomorrow.
The baby will be yours by dinner.
325
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,772
- [chuckling] Holy shit.
- I have a massage...
326
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,650
- That is so exciting.
- ...that's too late to cancel.
327
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:20,903
[sighs]
328
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,739
So, obviously you're grounded
until the suspension is over.
329
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:25,823
It was only for today.
330
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,744
This fucking school really knows
how to teach a lesson, huh?
331
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,954
So, I'm not allowed to go anywhere
until sunset?
332
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,082
No. You can go one place.
333
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,792
You can go talk to Summer.
334
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,295
Why would I do that?
335
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:42,089
I've tried to apologize to Summer
so many times about Connor.
336
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,802
Sorry I'm not perfect.
I've been fucking grieving.
337
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,472
What?
338
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:50,557
[sighs]
339
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,267
I've been where you are,
340
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,771
walking around thinking that
nobody else's shit compares to mine.
341
00:14:56,772 --> 00:15:00,066
But, kid, just because Mom died
doesn't mean we get to go around
342
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,027
thinking that nobody else
is dealing with stuff.
343
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:06,280
I mean, do you have any idea
what else is going on in Summer's life?
344
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:09,867
Well, she told me she hasn't
talked to her dad in a few years.
345
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,161
That must be hard.
346
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,038
And?
347
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,207
And...
348
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,377
she's been selling her mom's pills.
349
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,127
What else?
350
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:24,508
She said that Connor's the best thing
that's happened to her in a while.
351
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,263
[sighs] Fuck.
352
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:30,722
Fuck.
353
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:32,765
Solid dad work.
354
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,434
I'm on fire lately.
355
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:35,936
Thanks.
356
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,730
[breathes deeply]
357
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,567
- It's so weird that you're still here.
- Agreed.
358
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,610
- You hungry? I'm hungry.
- [Dan] I could eat.
359
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,155
- Look, a spider.
- I'm the boss.
360
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,370
- Huh?
- [chuckles]
361
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,456
- Can't believe you actually came.
- I gotta be honest,
362
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,835
I didn't really believe
you owned a microbrewery.
363
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:04,089
It's real. I've got a full kitchen staff
and a bartender named Hector.
364
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,133
- Hector sounds fake.
- Yeah. There's no Hector.
365
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,093
- Also, I have no idea how to make beer.
- Hmm.
366
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,970
- Well, I assumed that. Yeah.
- [chuckles]
367
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,055
Still...
368
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,100
check this out.
369
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,270
Wow. What did you do? [chuckles]
370
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:20,897
["Somebody Else" playing]
371
00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:24,025
Well, I mean, it doesn't make
a ton of sense in a brewery, but...
372
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:27,738
Whatever. I'll just make a new beer
and call it Hound Dog Ale or some shit.
373
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,405
Drunk people love dogs.
374
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,490
That is how I started fostering.
375
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:35,119
I got drunk on merlot and the next day
decided to save every dog in the world.
376
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,205
[chuckles]
377
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:41,084
Look, I can tell
you're going through a rough time.
378
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,379
I just wish you could see yourself
through my eyes.
379
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:49,258
You're so cool, and funny, and talented.
380
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,969
I mean, look at these photos.
381
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,557
You see the world
in a way nobody else does.
382
00:16:57,518 --> 00:17:01,313
I... I can't even tell you
how much this means to me.
383
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:06,234
Lizzie, I'd do anything for you.
384
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:21,458
Sorry. [stammers] I have to go.
I ca... I can't do this.
385
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,047
Fuck.
386
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:32,385
[Gaby] For a third first date,
biking is a pretty big swing,
387
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:36,055
but luckily,
I have this supes cute biking outfit,
388
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,225
and I think it's fire.
389
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,852
Wow.
390
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:42,645
Wow as in, like, I look good,
391
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,564
or wow as in,
I just got a lot of camel toe?
392
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:46,941
Wow as in, goddamn, you look good.
393
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,901
- Well, then I think I just might...
- [chuckling]
394
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,403
...keep this bad boy.
395
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:51,863
- [laughs] Oh.
- [laughs] All right,
396
00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:53,406
please tell me we don't have to bike far.
397
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:55,658
Just, like, 200 yards to the park,
you know?
398
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:58,369
We'll sit, have some wine... [chuckles]
399
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,830
...talk about how much more we wanna bike
but we never do.
400
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,498
I love almost exercising
401
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:03,624
- as an excuse to drink.
- Yeah.
402
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,209
[both chuckle]
403
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,003
Well, what kind of wine did you--
404
00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:08,671
- Oh, thank God you're home.
- Whoa.
405
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:12,175
I'm sorry to interrupt what I can
only assume is a camel toe intervention.
406
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:13,551
I knew it.
407
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,803
It was cute.
408
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:19,223
They wanna give us a baby, like,
tomorrow, and I am losing my shit!
409
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:22,185
Charlie sent me out for supplies,
but I don't know what a baby needs,
410
00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:25,313
so I panicked and got 20 diapers
and a tiny chicken costume.
411
00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:26,731
- Aw.
- Aw. That's cute.
412
00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:27,982
It's making my ovaries tingle.
413
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,734
That's either really good for me
or really bad.
414
00:18:29,735 --> 00:18:31,445
[both chuckle]
415
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,864
We weren't supposed to be
paired this fast.
416
00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:37,033
[sighs] I've only read one baby book.
417
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,994
- [Gaby groans]
- Started one baby book.
418
00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:41,078
Fine, I bought a baby book.
419
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,288
Just get to the truth.
420
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,706
I don't even have a baby book!
421
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,958
- There we go.
- There's no time to childproof the house,
422
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,793
buy a car seat, eat for two.
423
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,670
I want my nine months!
424
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,964
Why don't you just
tell your husband you're not ready yet?
425
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,300
No, other Derrick.
I went back and forth too much
426
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,469
when we started the whole...
[stammers] ...baby thing.
427
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,596
You might not know this about me,
but I flip flop a lot.
428
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,848
- I picked that up.
- I don't flip flop that much.
429
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,725
Oh, my God.
I'm flip flopping on flip flopping.
430
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,561
[sighs] I promised Charlie
that I was ready,
431
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,147
and now if I say that I'm not,
he'll never trust me again.
432
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,982
He already thinks I have
one foot out the baby door,
433
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:10,900
which, by the way,
434
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:13,152
we'll have to add to our house
if the doggy door's too small.
435
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,487
Are baby doors even a thing?
436
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,113
- No. No.
- No.
437
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,407
Please help me. I am begging you.
438
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,744
Brian, have a seat, okay?
439
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,496
Look, I know that this is hard and scary.
440
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:27,250
- [Brian] Yeah.
- But I promise you I will think about it,
441
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:31,671
while Derrick and I exercise
for ten seconds and then get super drunk.
442
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,589
- Oh, no, no. [stammers]
- [Gaby] Yeah.
443
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,342
- No, it's okay. It's okay.
- Mm-hmm.
444
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:39,762
How about this?
You call Charlie and everyone you trust,
445
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,806
we'll get in the sea about it,
and we'll figure it out.
446
00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:43,516
- Okay.
- [Derrick] Yeah?
447
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:45,643
Yeah, that sounds great.
I like that. Let's do that.
448
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:48,856
- All right. I'll get you some water.
- Thank you. I'm so thirsty.
449
00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:50,649
How did he know?
450
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,692
I like him.
451
00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:56,487
He makes me simultaneously
feel calm and horny.
452
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:57,573
Me too.
453
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:02,118
And if I don't get to fuck him tonight,
I'ma murder you.
454
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,494
- [Brian] Okay.
- Okay?
455
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,288
- I understand.
- Okay.
456
00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:06,622
I get what you're saying,
457
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,541
but I thought you were excited
about seeing Jorge.
458
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,711
I was, but that was because
he was the only guy in our squad
459
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,172
who was always in a good place,
460
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,840
and now he wants to see me
'cause he's fucking struggling.
461
00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,341
Well, people struggle.
462
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:20,220
I know, but what advice can I give him?
463
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,973
Get kicked out of your place?
Move in with your shrink?
464
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,809
[stammers] I mean,
I am the last guy he should be leaning on.
465
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,769
I wouldn't lead with any of that stuff.
466
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:29,687
[sighs]
467
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:32,815
- [Paul groans]
- But, Dan, um, maybe you could tell Sean
468
00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,817
what made it easier for you
to open up to me.
469
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:37,612
Is it because he looks like
a sad oak tree?
470
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:40,072
Say what you want, Paul,
but just this morning,
471
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,825
a woman told me I was one of the
five hottest guys she'd ever been with.
472
00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,327
So, fifth?
473
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:46,455
Fourth. Suck it.
474
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,290
Anyways. Dan.
475
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,083
Um, well,
476
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,505
honestly, I think I started opening up
the day you said you were...
477
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:57,090
you were lonely too.
478
00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,676
Guess I wanted a therapist
as screwed up as I was.
479
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,638
If that's the case, bull's-eye.
480
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:04,680
[Jimmy chuckles]
481
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:08,018
But you're right, fucked-up people
are good at helping fucked-up people.
482
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,521
I mean, look at us. [chuckles]
483
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:12,606
What do you say?
484
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,148
- [phone ringing]
- [sighs]
485
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:15,566
Oh, shit.
486
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,485
- Hey, Brian. What's up?
- Oh, thank God you picked up.
487
00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,529
I thought you'd have work
or something boring.
488
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,030
Jimmy, listen, you have no idea...
489
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:24,534
We all know he's gonna go on for a while
before I have to say anything, so...
490
00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:25,702
Sorry. Sean, continue.
491
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,288
Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll see him.
492
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,583
Thanks, Jimmy's-other-patient.
493
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,752
Didn't I see you this morning?
494
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:35,337
Are you okay?
495
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,881
- Is he holding you against your will?
- Yes.
496
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:41,259
No, Dan, you want to be here.
497
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,969
- I changed my mind.
- No, you did not.
498
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,053
Paul, he did not.
499
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:46,097
I'll get you a list of other therapists.
500
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,891
It's nothing personal.
I do it for all of Jimmy's patients.
501
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,184
- [chuckles]
- [Brian continues chattering]
502
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,645
I gotta go see Alice.
503
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:54,105
Are you even listening
to a word I'm saying?
504
00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:56,274
- Oh, shit.
- I will start over. I swear to God.
505
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,235
Brian, of course I'm listening to you.
506
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,404
Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.
507
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:02,948
I'm suspended,
I have nothing better to do.
508
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:06,910
Did your dad lose his shit?
509
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:10,330
Well, he grounded me
for three whole hours.
510
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,750
How'd your mom take it?
511
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:17,003
She got kicked out of
Casino Morongo last night,
512
00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:19,923
so I think this is pretty low
on her priority list.
513
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,466
- Damn.
- Yeah.
514
00:22:23,010 --> 00:22:26,137
- What'd she do?
- She put the dice in her mouth again.
515
00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:27,222
[chuckles]
516
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,561
This is all my fault.
517
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,982
I fucked you over,
and you really didn't deserve it.
518
00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:41,777
I mean, everybody bailed on me
when Mom died but you stuck by me,
519
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:44,947
and I've been so fucking selfish,
520
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:48,827
and I haven't thought about all of
the shit that you've been dealing with.
521
00:22:49,453 --> 00:22:51,997
It won't happen again. Promise.
522
00:22:53,165 --> 00:22:53,999
Thanks.
523
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,044
I love you.
524
00:22:57,628 --> 00:22:58,962
I love you.
525
00:23:07,346 --> 00:23:08,847
What are you gonna do about Connor?
526
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:13,142
- Okay. So, fall break I'm gonna kiss him...
- Mm-hmm.
527
00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:16,312
...and then I'm gonna cry,
and I'm gonna say, "That was a mistake."
528
00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:20,525
And then during his midterms,
I'm gonna soft launch a boyfriend.
529
00:23:20,526 --> 00:23:22,109
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah. Like, at dinner,
530
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,903
- with the guy hand, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
531
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:27,574
And then I'm gonna get back with him
on Thanksgiving,
532
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:30,117
but I'm gonna say I'm too full to hook up.
533
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:34,248
[chuckles]
I am loving this revenge arc for you.
534
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:37,792
[singsongy] Ch-Cheater, cheater,
cheater bitch.
535
00:23:37,793 --> 00:23:41,588
Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater biatch.
536
00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:43,549
[Liz] Hey.
537
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,133
How do I keep running into you? [sighs]
538
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,134
Alice couldn't make it.
539
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,929
She's with Summer,
so I told her I'd let you know.
540
00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,557
Why didn't you just call?
541
00:23:52,683 --> 00:23:55,142
Mmm. Well...
542
00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:58,104
[stammers] Oh, God, no.
543
00:23:58,105 --> 00:24:01,233
{\an8}Relax. I know the rules.
544
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,278
Tropical. The good shit.
545
00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:09,366
[sighs]
546
00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,285
- Thanks for coming, everyone.
- [Gaby] Yeah.
547
00:24:12,286 --> 00:24:14,537
I still fricking can't believe that by
"get in the sea"
548
00:24:14,538 --> 00:24:16,372
you meant get in the sea.
I thought it was, like,
549
00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,541
a metaphor where he was like, "Oh, no."
550
00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:22,003
Like, "Our profits are down,"
like, "Let's get in the sea on it."
551
00:24:22,004 --> 00:24:23,379
Nope. [grunts]
552
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,675
The ocean is a magical place.
It helps you see things clearly.
553
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:29,385
Well, still not the worst
fucking date I had.
554
00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:31,554
- Hey, Jimmy? What the fuck are you doing?
- Yeah.
555
00:24:31,555 --> 00:24:33,806
I'm still not supposed to
get my tattoo wet.
556
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:39,312
Bri, I'm freezing my titties off.
Is this working? You getting any clarity?
557
00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:40,397
Yeah.
558
00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:44,525
I don't think Jimmy should've
gotten a tattoo. It's stupid on him.
559
00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:45,610
It's really bad, Jimmy.
560
00:24:45,611 --> 00:24:49,447
Also, I can't handle a kid right now,
561
00:24:49,448 --> 00:24:54,410
but I know that it could be ages
before we get another chance.
562
00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:59,916
So, like... [sighs]
So we just say yes, ready or not?
563
00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:01,752
[Dan] Question. Uh...
564
00:25:03,754 --> 00:25:04,588
Brian, right?
565
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:06,672
Yes, Jimmy's patient.
566
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,758
This has all been about how you feel,
567
00:25:08,759 --> 00:25:12,011
which reminds me of when I hang out
with my pal, Stan.
568
00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:16,350
Everyone's checking on him
and his feelings, but never mine.
569
00:25:16,934 --> 00:25:19,352
So as a guy who is also overlooked,
570
00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,104
did anyone ever ask your husband
how he feels?
571
00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:23,440
Oh.
572
00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:26,108
I'm terrified.
573
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:29,403
What? You're terrified?
Why didn't you say something?
574
00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:32,740
I feel like I have to be the brave one,
even though I'm just as scared as you.
575
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:35,076
But I want the nine months.
576
00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:38,996
I wanna get the call to the hospital
and have a cute, little backpack.
577
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,457
Too cold for a speech, Charlie!
578
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,043
Babe... [sighs] ...I love you.
579
00:25:45,003 --> 00:25:46,546
[panting]
580
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:49,466
We shouldn't have a baby
until the time is right for both of us.
581
00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:52,468
- Really?
- Really. [laughs]
582
00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:54,887
- We're not having a baby!
- [Brian laughs]
583
00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:57,391
[all cheer]
584
00:26:07,693 --> 00:26:08,694
You ever gonna talk?
585
00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:11,780
Mac kissed me.
586
00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,199
Who could've seen that coming?
587
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,246
Full disclosure, I should say that...
588
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:23,709
we kissed each other.
589
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:27,044
- [laughs]
- What the fuck? Why are you laughing?
590
00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:28,881
Life, I guess.
591
00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:33,593
I just recently had to face
my own infidelity,
592
00:26:33,594 --> 00:26:36,013
20 years after the fact.
593
00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:37,471
How'd that go?
594
00:26:37,472 --> 00:26:39,182
We're friends again
595
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:42,269
which means I have to talk to her
on the phone every week, so...
596
00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:44,605
not good.
597
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:46,689
How do I fix this?
598
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,734
Easy. Time machine.
599
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:53,988
I just keep trying to figure out
why I did this.
600
00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:55,490
- This isn't ab--
- It doesn't matter.
601
00:26:56,074 --> 00:26:58,368
There are a million reasons why,
and I've heard 'em all.
602
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:03,539
Feeling neglected, lost, lacking purpose,
603
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,501
empty nest, big birthday coming up.
604
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,127
Oh, I don't have birthdays anymore.
605
00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:09,880
[sighs] That must be nice.
606
00:27:10,506 --> 00:27:12,256
What am I supposed to do now?
607
00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:13,675
Well, you can bury it,
608
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,470
try and live with the guilt,
609
00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:21,558
hope that it motivates you
to become a better partner.
610
00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:23,893
But in my experience,
611
00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:29,607
most people end up tortured
by what they did forever and ever.
612
00:27:29,608 --> 00:27:30,608
Or?
613
00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:35,072
Or you could come clean,
face the repercussions,
614
00:27:36,323 --> 00:27:40,577
and hope that that motivates you
to become a stronger couple.
615
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:42,578
But in my experience,
616
00:27:42,579 --> 00:27:45,831
most people end up
tortured by the guilt forever and ever.
617
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,458
Well, there's gotta be a third choice.
618
00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:50,128
Well, I hear they're very close
to space travel.
619
00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,675
- What would you do?
- Oh, Liz. I...
620
00:27:55,676 --> 00:27:57,636
Come on. Please, tell me.
621
00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:03,016
Secrets have a way of getting out.
622
00:28:05,143 --> 00:28:07,437
There's not a secret that I ever kept
623
00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:11,608
that I didn't wish
I'd told the fucking person.
624
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:24,329
These are disgusting.
625
00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:26,164
Give 'em back.
626
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:35,882
Wow, another weird almost-date,
627
00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:39,594
except this time I'm dressed
like a ashy beach hippie.
628
00:28:39,595 --> 00:28:40,888
[chuckles]
629
00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:43,431
- I'm gonna kiss you.
- Whoa.
630
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,558
- [laughs] You know it's just, like...
- [groans]
631
00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:47,310
- It's better if you just do it. [laughs]
- Damn it.
632
00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:49,103
Please tell me I didn't mess this up.
[groans]
633
00:28:49,104 --> 00:28:51,981
Look, I-I knew... I knew I shouldn't have
taken you to, like, the sea.
634
00:28:51,982 --> 00:28:53,066
That was, like, so...
635
00:28:59,364 --> 00:29:00,656
[clicks tongue]
636
00:29:00,657 --> 00:29:01,574
Yep.
637
00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:04,368
Do you wanna get in my sea?
638
00:29:04,369 --> 00:29:06,287
- [chuckles]
- Sorry. I don't know why I said that.
639
00:29:06,288 --> 00:29:08,581
Just erase that from your mind. [chuckles]
640
00:29:08,582 --> 00:29:12,127
Um, but I really like you, Derrick.
641
00:29:13,504 --> 00:29:16,047
Same. Like, a lot.
642
00:29:16,048 --> 00:29:19,008
[inhales deeply, groans]
643
00:29:19,009 --> 00:29:22,428
Help me find a reason
to not fuck you immediately,
644
00:29:22,429 --> 00:29:24,388
because I wanna just kind of do this...
645
00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:27,099
- Right.
- ...whole thing right.
646
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:28,393
Um...
647
00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:32,438
- can't think of anything. Let's go do it.
- [stammers] Sir.
648
00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,857
- [stammers] Yeah. All right.
- Please. [groans] I almost did it.
649
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,442
- I almost sprinted up there.
- I know. Okay.
650
00:29:36,443 --> 00:29:37,777
- All right, jokes aside.
- Yeah.
651
00:29:37,778 --> 00:29:41,364
Um, we can't because for one,
652
00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,742
I am covered in sand.
653
00:29:44,743 --> 00:29:46,786
As am I, yeah. And that would just be
654
00:29:46,787 --> 00:29:49,498
- just painful, awful. [inhales deeply]
- Yeah.
655
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:51,290
This is okay, right?
656
00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:54,544
Of course.
I'm gonna go see Keisha anyway, so...
657
00:29:54,545 --> 00:29:56,295
[both laugh]
658
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:58,047
- You crazy.
- [both laugh]
659
00:29:58,048 --> 00:29:59,841
All right.
Well, uh, good night. [chuckles]
660
00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:00,967
[Derrick] Night.
661
00:30:00,968 --> 00:30:02,052
[Louis] Thanks.
662
00:30:02,845 --> 00:30:05,973
Uh, I wanted to talk to you guys
about something.
663
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,517
Summer and I made up today,
which was great,
664
00:30:09,518 --> 00:30:11,894
but she said the thing
that hurt her the most
665
00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:14,313
was the fact that
I hadn't been honest with her,
666
00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:18,985
and I just think we should tell my dad
that we've been talking to you, Louis.
667
00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:21,112
- I think it's the right thing to do.
- I agree.
668
00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:22,364
I do too.
669
00:30:24,575 --> 00:30:28,077
But I'm just wondering if there's any way
670
00:30:28,078 --> 00:30:32,081
you can be strong and brave
and tell Jimmy,
671
00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:38,004
and I can sort of not be mentioned,
or be part of it at all, in any way.
672
00:30:38,005 --> 00:30:40,007
- I don't think you wanna be that guy.
- Boo.
673
00:30:40,591 --> 00:30:43,009
So, we're going with me
also being strong and brave?
674
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,636
Got it. Got it. Great.
675
00:30:45,637 --> 00:30:47,097
[engine stops]
676
00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:50,350
You think, uh, scarf lady's still here?
677
00:30:52,311 --> 00:30:54,020
I mean, it's been seven hours.
678
00:30:54,021 --> 00:30:55,938
Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way,
679
00:30:55,939 --> 00:30:58,817
that Derrick dude was the most
handsome man I've ever seen.
680
00:30:59,401 --> 00:31:00,735
Yeah, one of the most handsome.
681
00:31:00,736 --> 00:31:03,655
No. Like, the most handsome man.
682
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,450
Today was a fun day.
683
00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:10,787
Even if we didn't kick anything's ass.
684
00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:15,042
Dan, think about all the stuff
you did today.
685
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:19,378
You went to a high school,
you talked to strangers,
686
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:21,964
you got undressed and got in the ocean
687
00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:23,967
around a bunch of people
you'd never even met before.
688
00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,719
And yes, at first I had to prod you
to get you to talk,
689
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,222
but by the end, you were out there,
doggy paddling,
690
00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:31,057
dropping truth bombs
in your tighty-whities.
691
00:31:31,058 --> 00:31:32,975
[chuckles] Those were boxers.
692
00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:35,978
Well, they're snug, but they look great.
693
00:31:35,979 --> 00:31:37,813
Yeah, I think the scariest part
694
00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:42,486
was hanging out one-on-one for ten minutes
with that terrifying teenage girl.
695
00:31:43,237 --> 00:31:44,654
She was batshit.
696
00:31:44,655 --> 00:31:46,949
- Again, that's my daughter.
- Nice kid.
697
00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:49,159
But, yeah, if you can handle her,
698
00:31:50,661 --> 00:31:52,538
- you can handle Stan's wedding.
- [chuckles]
699
00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:57,834
This means your hot streak's
still going, right?
700
00:31:57,835 --> 00:32:00,212
- Fuck yeah, it is.
- [laughs]
701
00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:03,006
- You want a hug?
- Not ever.
702
00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:08,679
And then, you know,
I stopped and... and left.
703
00:32:09,596 --> 00:32:11,723
[sighs] It was so stupid.
704
00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:14,685
I know you must be so hurt.
705
00:32:17,020 --> 00:32:19,398
[sighs, stammers] Please, say something.
706
00:32:20,941 --> 00:32:22,108
How long was the kiss?
707
00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:23,150
What?
708
00:32:23,151 --> 00:32:25,445
- How long was it?
- [sighs]
709
00:32:25,946 --> 00:32:29,574
I'll do Cincinnati,
and you tell me to stop.
710
00:32:29,575 --> 00:32:32,952
You know, like one Cincinnati,
two Cincinnati.
711
00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:35,204
- It's Mississippi.
- I do Cincinnati.
712
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:36,123
Okay.
713
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,459
One Cincinnati.
714
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,713
Are you fucking kidding me?
715
00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:44,881
[sighs, inhales sharply]
716
00:32:44,882 --> 00:32:46,216
- Two Cincinnat--
- Stop.
717
00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,218
So it was two Cincinnatis.
718
00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:53,055
No. It was, like... It was, like,
one Cincinnati and a Cincinnat.
719
00:32:53,056 --> 00:32:54,558
[sighs] Liz...
720
00:32:57,311 --> 00:33:00,730
[stammers] I support you
in everything you do.
721
00:33:00,731 --> 00:33:03,149
You signed us up to foster dogs,
722
00:33:03,150 --> 00:33:06,069
you basically adopted
our neighbor's child.
723
00:33:08,071 --> 00:33:12,450
You make jokes about me. Who cares?
They bounce off.
724
00:33:12,451 --> 00:33:13,535
You know why?
725
00:33:14,077 --> 00:33:14,911
No.
726
00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:19,790
Because deep down,
I thought we were so solid.
727
00:33:19,791 --> 00:33:20,958
We are.
728
00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:23,003
I don't ask you for much.
729
00:33:24,421 --> 00:33:25,422
Ever.
730
00:33:26,173 --> 00:33:28,884
You knew how I felt
about that fucking guy,
731
00:33:29,510 --> 00:33:30,635
and you did this anyway.
732
00:33:30,636 --> 00:33:32,804
[sighs]
733
00:33:33,931 --> 00:33:36,224
Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry.
734
00:33:36,225 --> 00:33:38,184
I didn't mean for this to happen.
735
00:33:38,185 --> 00:33:40,144
- [sighs]
- I wanna figure it out.
736
00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:42,481
We can figure this out.
737
00:33:44,107 --> 00:33:47,193
Look, at least I told you.
738
00:33:47,194 --> 00:33:52,490
Isn't that better that I-I told you,
than you find out on your own?
739
00:33:52,491 --> 00:33:53,575
Right?
740
00:33:54,117 --> 00:33:57,371
- Gotta give me one.
- [both groan]
741
00:33:57,913 --> 00:34:00,998
Hey, crush it at that wedding.
742
00:34:00,999 --> 00:34:02,042
Thanks, Jimmy.
743
00:34:04,670 --> 00:34:05,671
[sighs]
744
00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:13,929
[Brian laughing]
745
00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:17,640
[laughs]
746
00:34:17,641 --> 00:34:18,725
[Louis laughs]
747
00:34:22,771 --> 00:34:24,313
[breathing deeply]
748
00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:31,780
Fuck.