1
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,389
小布,把那個封箱膠帶拿給我,好嗎?

2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:18,351
真抱歉打擾你站在那裡,一副生氣的樣子

3
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,977
我去幫你們拿些水來

4
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,021
- 謝了,媽
- 而且我的寶貝女兒貼心吧

5
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,773
讓我搬去跟她一起住

6
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,484
我是慈善女王

7
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,820
- 是遺傳她媽媽的喔
- 沒錯

8
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,531
妳竟然把我拐來這裡

9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,533
小布,你漂亮到在閃閃發光耶

10
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,700
我當然閃閃發光

11
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,787
因為妳說我們要去海灘
所以我擦了我的閃亮防曬乳

12
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,039
好,好啦,這裡是長灘啊,也算吧

13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,500
你知道讓我媽搬來跟我一起住
真的是很難的決定,對吧?

14
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,085
- 我需要朋友們來挺我
- 我知道

15
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,128
我知道妳壓力很大,但就這麼看吧

16
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,214
至少妳終於能學會上床的時候安靜點

17
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,632
你這話是什麼意思?

18
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,467
- 來了
- 艾凡斯太太

19
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,636
- 妳會去上教堂,對吧?
- 會啊

20
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:57,306
如果我跟妳說我是同性戀
那我可以失陪了嗎?

21
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,433
- 想得美啊,賤貨
- 別說髒話

22
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,477
加比莎,我太震驚了

23
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,689
還有,寶貝,你就負責整理我的衣服吧

24
00:01:04,438 --> 00:01:05,356
好

25
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,066
有點刻板印象吧

26
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,443
王八蛋

27
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,322
妳幹嘛一直抖腳?

28
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,575
還是妳在取笑我?

29
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,911
我只是想要鼓起勇氣說一件事

30
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,787
聽起來很嚴重喔

31
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:23,458
好,等妳孬完再通知我吧

32
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,502
好

33
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:30,131
你曾經說過我可以讓悲痛淹沒自己

34
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,591
也可以振作起來

35
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,759
對

36
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,430
我還沒完全振作,但我能感覺有起色

37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,141
我覺得我已經不用治療了

38
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,809
而且我知道你會怎麼說

39
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,312
“沒人是已經不需要治療的”

40
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,023
因為,對啦,你說話就像蝙蝠俠

41
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:50,569
我是故意的,這叫做莊嚴的音調

42
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:56,366
我只是覺得我該開始自己應付了

43
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,410
至少一下下也好

44
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,080
你生氣了嗎?

45
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:04,750
沒有

46
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:09,338
其實,我深感驕傲

47
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:13,717
而且如果妳覺得需要我,我都會在

48
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,260
我知道

49
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,679
還有,保羅...

50
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,182
不客氣

51
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:32,318
怎樣?妳以為最後一次治療
就不用付費了嗎?

52
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,654
拜託喔

53
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,492
好吃的

54
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,412
媽的

55
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,122
誰死了?

56
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,961
妳在我這年紀的人面前
沒資格開這種玩笑

57
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,185
我永遠不會忘記我先生的好多事

58
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:11,233
當艾略特愛著某個人的時候

59
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,612
我們從來都不需要有一丁點的懷疑

60
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,741
而這會讓我好好記得他

61
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,827
感謝大家來參加

62
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,038
至少你們兩個不需要再偷偷摸摸了

63
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,374
我是想要紓緩氣氛

64
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,961
如果要在告別式開玩笑,那就應該要好笑

65
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,381
我還以為這肯定會很好笑,保羅

66
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,550
謝謝你陪我來

67
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,676
當然要

68
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,763
我肯定不想錯過妳
老闆女朋友先生的告別式

69
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,851
你能相信茱莉穿黑色衣服竟然這麼辣嗎?

70
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,061
- 我好想上那個白人妞
- 我會看這片喔

71
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,813
- 嘿
- 老天爺啊

72
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,192
至少那兩個人不用再偷偷摸摸了,對吧?

73
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,276
保羅,看到沒?

74
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,154
保羅,很好笑啦

75
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,699
- 什麼好笑?
- 我不知道

76
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:02,993
好

77
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,995
希望我們兩個一起不會太尷尬

78
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:09,166
因為我是她上一個男人

79
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,502
不會,我不介意

80
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,212
會介意也沒關係

81
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,379
不會,不過謝了

82
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,379
- 好喔
- 好

83
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,090
- 好喔...
- 好...

84
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,258
真的嗎?

85
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,761
這樣讓我覺得很悲哀

86
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,220
我懂

87
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,431
- 嘿,謝謝妳來,你也是,布萊恩
- 當然要

88
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:29,018
別謝他,他翹掉告別式
他只是來吃東西的

89
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,895
- 羨慕嗎?
- 羨慕

90
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,856
另外,我想跟妳說,因為房子已經賣掉了

91
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,566
妳可以把這些錢存入信託帳戶

92
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,318
- 留給艾略特的女兒和孫子們
- 謝謝

93
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,945
我知道他會想那麼做的

94
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,905
哇,妳賣掉房子了?
那妳現在要去住哪裡啊?

95
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:45,451
她要去我家待個幾天,直到她想出辦法來

96
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,995
好喔,再次感謝,夥伴

97
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,289
- 好
- 好的

98
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,041
- 哇
- 她要去你家

99
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,459
- 待個幾天?
- 幾天?

100
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,128
- 真是太冷血了吧,保羅
- 我真是太震驚了

101
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,881
- 感覺真的好討人厭
- 揮之不去

102
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,092
我們現在的模式很好

103
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:04,762
別忘了,我已經獨居30...

104
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,139
妳在幹嘛...30年了,這是幹嘛?

105
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,851
是一個拍動的巨大下體
因為你現在就是這個樣子

106
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,894
拍...拍呀拍,拍...保羅

107
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,229
這個也揮之不去

108
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,023
- 一定的,你看啊
- 不要放在我頭上

109
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,525
- 我不想要,我不想...
- 嘿...

110
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,443
這是告別式耶

111
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:48,473
《誠實診療室》

112
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,478
{\an8}(路易斯,還是沒有你的消息
回訊給我吧,兄弟)

113
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:58,441
{\an8}艾莉絲滿18歲的時候
你就是個有成年子女的成年人

114
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,109
{\an8}你怎麼會對這件事如此震驚?

115
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,862
{\an8}你爸也是有成年子女啊

116
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,363
{\an8}見鬼了

117
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,574
{\an8}你們在聊我的生日嗎?你要送我什麼?

118
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,285
{\an8}我要為妳烤蛋糕

119
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,077
{\an8}妳想要巧克力還是香草的?

120
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,289
{\an8}給我驚喜吧,不過我要香草的

121
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,540
{\an8}我知道你該送我什麼

122
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,334
{\an8}拜託,爸,只是一輛車而已

123
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:19,212
{\an8}“只是一輛車”
我真是喜歡白人家庭的能量

124
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:22,006
{\an8}嘿,很抱歉,孩子
我的保險費會因此飆高

125
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,424
{\an8}好吧

126
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:24,718
{\an8}好,反正值得一提

127
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,387
{\an8}- 你會再考慮一下嗎?
- 不會

128
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,472
{\an8}如果我自己付油錢呢?

129
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:30,432
{\an8}用什麼付?

130
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,018
{\an8}- 老實說,我覺得太過分了
- 對,太爛了

131
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,353
{\an8}幫艾莉絲買車啦

132
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,771
{\an8}我知道你賺多少錢,小氣鬼

133
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:38,022
{\an8}你這個抓耙仔,尚恩

134
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,066
{\an8}我沒差

135
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:42,610
{\an8}好,機器人們,妳們可以停止了

136
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,903
{\an8}我會買車給艾莉絲

137
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,322
{\an8}只是為了給她個驚喜才說不要

138
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,241
{\an8}真可愛,好,我又喜歡你了

139
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,951
{\an8}我還沒決定好

140
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,286
{\an8}她的上次生日很糟糕,都是我的錯

141
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,330
{\an8}對,那一次你醉醺醺地來敲我的門

142
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,666
{\an8}問我能不能借你一個生日蛋糕

143
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,085
{\an8}- 我記得自己幹了什麼事,莉茲
- 是嗎?

144
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,212
{\an8}好啦,不是全部

145
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,755
{\an8}我覺得某些事情還是別知道比較健康

146
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,174
{\an8}嘿,她一直都很喜歡黃色的MINI Cooper

147
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,094
{\an8}她媽在大學時有一輛
所以我在找一輛那種的

148
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,804
{\an8}我重新加入你這隊了

149
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:10,721
{\an8}但派對是何時?

150
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,306
{\an8}她有自己的打算,莉茲

151
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,101
{\an8}她才不想跟她爸和她爸的朋友們
一起慶祝她的18歲生日

152
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,687
{\an8}- 誰管她想怎樣?她欠我們的
- 那可不是...

153
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,939
{\an8}- 不是為了她,是為了我們
- 對,我們要開派對

154
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,023
{\an8}- 我們要開派對
- 好

155
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,442
{\an8}- 我們他媽的一定要開派對
- 對,他媽的一定要

156
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,820
{\an8}他媽的一定要

157
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,779
{\an8}好

158
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,490
{\an8}- 我們得來策劃派對了
- 好

159
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,868
- 德瑞克...要過
- 德瑞克

160
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,870
- 嘿,荷黑
- 嘿,好的,你要吃什麽呢?

161
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,621
抱歉,我是德瑞克

162
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,123
- 我要老樣子
- 好

163
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,876
我只是在決定要來一份還是兩份

164
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,503
兩份啦,寶貝,你是我的飢餓大隻佬耶

165
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,421
- 真的嗎?
- 對

166
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:44,463
你聽到小姐說的了

167
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,382
去休息吧,我拿去給你

168
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,467
好

169
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,221
謝謝

170
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,682
嘿,妳搞什麼鬼啊?

171
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,309
沒有要你插嘴

172
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,604
哈囉,他為何可以插隊啊?

173
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,689
不好意思,粗項鍊妹

174
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,649
沒人問妳的意見

175
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,360
但非常感謝妳維持隊伍的秩序

176
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,113
妳的表現真的是棒極了

177
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,158
真的...A加喔

178
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,409
哇

179
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,995
妳們要點什麼?我請客

180
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,372
好,小姐,來談正事吧

181
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,333
顯然呢,妳那即將到來的生日意義重大

182
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,001
- 對莉茲和本人來說...
- 是莉茲和我

183
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,794
我們說好今天不要有異議的

184
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,129
- 那妳就好好說
- 好

185
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,049
顯然呢,妳即將到來的生日
對莉茲和我來說意義重大

186
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,175
謝謝

187
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:33,053
我們想要先說,我們愛妳

188
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,139
- 我們要提出一個激進的提議
- 沒錯

189
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:40,353
全套正式晚餐
然後吃蛋糕、送禮物,半正式服裝

190
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,355
晚上7點到10點半

191
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,858
我要提出反對意見,站在廚房吃蛋糕

192
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,026
穿運動褲

193
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,653
不開禮物

194
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,154
下午4點30分到35分

195
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,197
一句話,不可能

196
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,448
- 妳冷靜
- 根本胡說八道

197
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,492
我知道那是胡說八道,她在跟我們過招

198
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:55,701
我們都料到了

199
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,036
我要對此再提反對意見

200
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:01,123
吃蛋糕一小時,穿時尚便服
妳只打開莉茲跟我的禮物

201
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,458
要提一下暖身趴

202
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,502
在準備的時候,妳要花20分鐘跟我們獨處

203
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,463
妳要試穿我們選的衣服
而我們要給妳當女人的建議

204
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:11,884
然後妳要約我們稍後跟妳一起去找朋友

205
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,136
不過妳得表現出真心的樣子

206
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,889
在我們禮貌地拒絕之後
妳要看起來很失望

207
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,975
好

208
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:22,353
暖身趴只能一下下
派對時間45分鐘,這樣就成交

209
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,564
- 妳覺得呢?
- 我不喜歡

210
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,232
我也不喜歡,但別無選擇

211
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,525
- 我們就接受吧
- 好

212
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,193
- 我們接受妳的蠢條件...
- 是嗎?

213
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,361
- 但我們不滿意,對
- 對

214
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,737
好,成交

215
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,239
- 來吧
- 成交

216
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,449
好,如果我要跟老人們一起慶祝
那我要邀請保羅來

217
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,784
- 什麼?
- 好,可是...什麼?

218
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,369
不行,他會毀了我的心情

219
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,622
別說了,他會很開心的

220
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,880
幹

221
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:51,174
(我有生日派對,我想要你來參加)

222
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,342
真是等不及了

223
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,848
感謝你跟我一起來

224
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,641
- 我真的很不會談判
- 對

225
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,186
我很拿手

226
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:04,729
嘿,你是吉米?

227
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,397
- 我是吉米,對
- 我是蘇菲

228
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,899
- 嗨,幸會
- 嗨

229
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,484
好,我也是,你們隨意看看吧

230
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,737
好

231
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,450
這是幾汽缸的?六還是八?

232
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,910
V型引擎嗎?我對車子一竅不通

233
00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:21,913
- 好
- 好,該我展現身手了

234
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,998
他們的2004年款賣得很好

235
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,918
這輛的狀態不怎麼好

236
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:27,877
妳想賣多少?

237
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,420
這個嘛,我出價五千美金

238
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,631
成交

239
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:34,175
我還期待來點討價還價耶

240
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,259
我也是

241
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,386
我去拿文件囉

242
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,223
去吧,嘿

243
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,060
兄弟,什麼情況?

244
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:46,354
沒戴婚戒、樸素的房子
院子裡有小孩子的單車

245
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,064
你真的想要我去敲詐一個

246
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:53,444
親切、單身,順道一提
而且長得這麼討喜的媽媽嗎?

247
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,489
就為了幾百塊美金耶,吉米

248
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,157
那筆錢只夠你買乳液

249
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,787
所以,當你說
你是談判高手,你的意思是...

250
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,581
- 道德方面的,對
- 好

251
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,751
老德退場

252
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:12,338
好,我知道我們上週
主要在處理我的焦慮問題

253
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,007
但我忘記我有沒有跟妳說
我超焦慮的時候會流多少汗

254
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,344
然後我今天有個工作面試
而且我沒有帶更換的衣服

255
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,222
妳想得到那份工作
我們就得來研究妳要怎麼粉墨登場

256
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,307
- 對
- 靠,開著門治療?

257
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,687
- 小姐,妳累壞了吧
- 我的天啊

258
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:29,856
別聞啊

259
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,524
妳怎麼還帶著寶寶來治療?

260
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,900
我們愛你,我們覺得你很可愛

261
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,778
可是你在這裡
我們很難專心治療耶,對,沒錯

262
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,655
通常我會付錢請我阿姨來照顧他

263
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,575
可是她沒辦法,因為她喝醉
從健身自行車上摔下來

264
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:44,036
現在她側腹發炎很嚴重,所以不能太怪她

265
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,413
妳當然可以怪她

266
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,124
妳現在要怎麼去面試?

267
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,876
真希望我認識一個

268
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,420
從中午12點到下午1點
不需要治療病患的人

269
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:55,006
絕對不行,不可能

270
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,884
不知道為何那麼多白人女性
都要領養黑人寶寶?他不錯啊

271
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,886
讓我抱一下

272
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,512
- 嘿,小寶寶
- 好

273
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,514
- 妳面對他真是自在耶
- 嗨

274
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,808
妳覺得我以後也會變得那麼自在嗎?

275
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,059
不會

276
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,186
嘿

277
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,813
嗨,來認識你兒子吧

278
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,356
我不相信

279
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,067
但如果是吉米的,就跟他說我不介意

280
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,447
那是啥?是寶寶嗎?

281
00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:21,532
- 當然啊
- 你們都在這裡幹嘛?

282
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,075
對,我只是來接小加去吃午餐的

283
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,369
是你打給我,叫我過來的

284
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,287
成熟點啦

285
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:30,541
我這麼可愛,你真的要這麼生氣嗎?

286
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,795
滾出我的辦公室,你這個沒毛的小討厭鬼

287
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,588
- 他壞死了
- 天啊

288
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,841
你,跟我來一下

289
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,095
妳覺得他們在說什麼?

290
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,139
我不知道

291
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,935
我很喜歡小加

292
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,604
你有何意圖?

293
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,315
怎樣啊?我們在演什麼老電影嗎?

294
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,691
我是認真的

295
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:59,446
你是個好人,還是個壞人?

296
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,616
我覺得我是個好人

297
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,492
你知道的,我愛我的家庭

298
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,410
我乖乖繳稅

299
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:11,040
我還做資源回收
就連很難丟的電池也回收喔

300
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,501
你懂我的意思吧?

301
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,548
你石化了嗎?你是怎麼了啊?

302
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:24,387
好,不開玩笑
我覺得小加很棒,而且我覺得

303
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:29,059
我等待了很久,就是為了要遇見她

304
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,644
- 這就是我要的答案
- 好喔

305
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,312
你可以進去了

306
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,313
好

307
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,648
對了,很高興認識...

308
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,317
就是...認識你,還被你下馬威

309
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,820
小加,去吃午餐?

310
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,196
抱歉,我沒辦法

311
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,823
我得幫我的病患照顧寶寶

312
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,242
小加就是這樣

313
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,952
保羅,你真是沒禮貌

314
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,580
我覺得你得對寶寶道歉

315
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,623
抱歉囉

316
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:56,335
好,我,終於找到備用鑰匙了

317
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,462
但我沒辦法把另一支從鑰匙圈上拔下來

318
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,673
可能是房子的鑰匙,所以我只能相信你

319
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:04,302
不會跑回來,剝了我的皮,當成外套穿

320
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,428
我不會

321
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:08,931
不過我沒辦法代表我女兒發言
這是她的生日大禮

322
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,850
而且她很嗜血,所以...

323
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,353
黃色的MINI Cooper老爺車

324
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,939
你跟你老婆一定很討厭她

325
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:19,442
我現在要說一件
會讓妳覺得過意不去的事,而且...

326
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:22,821
會很尷尬,我要請妳儘量別覺得尷尬

327
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:25,907
我老婆死了

328
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,284
當然了

329
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,370
很好,不是那個意思啦

330
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,872
- 我前夫也死了
- 真的?

331
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,124
對我來說啦,太糟糕了

332
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,627
我很常開這個玩笑
但我都會說得更好笑一點

333
00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:40,671
我會說:“對我來說,他就像死掉了”

334
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,592
- 沒有耶,聽起來一樣
- 一樣喔,對

335
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,678
好吧,很抱歉結尾這麼糟糕

336
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,388
不過至少妳擠出了個很棒的玩笑

337
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,058
- 妳應該去做開玩笑巡演
- 通常效果都不錯啦

338
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,601
- 是嗎?好
- 對,這次沒有,但通常都是

339
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,686
好吧

340
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,646
發生了什麼事?

341
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,439
你知道就是那種事啊

342
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,860
“我真是幸運
我閨蜜跟我老公處得很好”

343
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:06,823
對,現在我得在隔週的週末
把孩子送到她家去

344
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,744
我幫那個賤女人貼壁紙
完美到連一個泡泡都沒有

345
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,829
真是太慘了

346
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,499
你老婆不在之後,你覺得最丟臉的是

347
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,544
不會做哪件事?

348
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,673
抱歉,我不習慣有人問起這些事

349
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,258
大家通常都對這話題避而遠之

350
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:28,177
- 我可不會,我會暢聊喔,所以...
- 看得出來

351
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,304
我不知道該怎麼付房貸

352
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,472
- 對
- 這很嚴重

353
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,850
對,我覺得如果我等得夠久

354
00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:36,937
他們就會很好心地來找我,最後他們來了

355
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,273
但沒有很好心

356
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,318
你老婆叫什麽名字?

357
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,529
- 媞亞
- 真是個好名字

358
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,156
是個很好的名字

359
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:53,829
好,這聽起來會很扯,不過你有沒有想過

360
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:58,082
你老婆死掉也許比我這樣好?

361
00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,000
- 就是...
- 不會

362
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,793
- 不會嗎?
- 不會,嘿...

363
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,254
- 好,我說得出來
- 這...好

364
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:06,424
我覺得妳跟我都可以傷心
不過不需要比賽

365
00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:07,758
- 聽我說,好嗎?
- 好

366
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:08,968
- 好
- 好嗎?

367
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:12,722
我跟我老公所有的美好回憶都被玷污了

368
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:13,890
好嗎?全都沒了

369
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:17,185
但我相信你跟你老婆有數不清的美好回憶

370
00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:19,563
你可以永遠地好好保存那些回憶

371
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,732
- 對...沒錯
- 對啊

372
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,026
- 對,我贏了,這局算我贏
- 幹

373
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,485
- 妳贏了
- 對

374
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,697
對,我的憤怒值超高,好嗎?

375
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:33,242
我覺得我好像被卡住了

376
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,287
到頭來,也許你會比較容易重新開始

377
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,707
妳的樣子看起來並沒有那麼憤怒

378
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,541
- 沒有嗎?
- 沒有

379
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,794
妳看起來憤怒值挺適中的

380
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:48,050
有時候我覺得重新開始根本不可能

381
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,928
拜託,別說不可能

382
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,849
- 我要走了...
- 好

383
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,310
因為我有治療要去做

384
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,856
好喔,謝天謝地,好,繼續加油,好嗎?

385
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:04,941
我是治療師

386
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,275
- 不過妳說“謝天謝地”?
- 對

387
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:10,239
我是說“謝天謝地,他們有你來做治療”

388
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:12,199
嘿...

389
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,243
很高興認識你

390
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,579
我也是

391
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,252
你就是為此把我叫來?

392
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,630
是誰在告別式上跟你說了比特幣的事?

393
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:28,965
你們兩個別吵了

394
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,508
“小加就是這樣”是什麼意思?

395
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:33,594
- 來,看好他
- 如果他餓了怎麼辦?

396
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,721
什麼?你有奶頭,餵他喝奶啊

397
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,640
你給我解釋清楚,好嗎?

398
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:39,684
保羅,你想討論嗎?那就來討論吧,來啊

399
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:40,810
好,來討論吧

400
00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:41,978
- 太好了
- 好

401
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:46,566
小加就是這樣,容許妳自己受人操控

402
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:49,360
去處理別人的問題

403
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,697
所以幫忙他人一個小時
就表示我悲慘不幸?

404
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:55,241
你得吃得營養點,保羅
因為這番話根本蒼白無力

405
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,703
妳一直用各種藉口

406
00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:03,040
把所有人的需求看得比自己的需求還重要

407
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:06,169
妳利用那個寶寶躲掉午餐約會

408
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,921
他可是我這輩子看過極帥的男人

409
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:12,383
這是身為極帥男人對他的評價

410
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:15,678
妳對妳媽所做的也正是如此

411
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,055
妳跟我都知道妳並不想要

412
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,516
- 妳媽搬來跟妳住
- 老哥

413
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,436
兩位,我想要讓他小睡一下
你們可以小聲點嗎?

414
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,229
我叫人小聲點耶,這是個里程碑

415
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:29,400
如果不改變這模式,妳就永遠都不會幸福

416
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:33,112
你想聊改變模式的事?
你這個“孤獨堡壘先生”

417
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,531
那個“妳可以在我家待幾天”先生

418
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:38,284
“我很愛妳,也想要隨時隨地跟妳在一起

419
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,578
可是如果這表示妳要把東西
都放在我家那就算了”先生

420
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:43,039
最後一句太長了一點吧

421
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,832
對,我知道,我說的時候也有感覺到

422
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,876
至少我有努力改變

423
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:50,213
我今年交了個朋友
而且我們上個月出去吃了點心

424
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:54,634
還有最近,我在辦公室茶水間裡
招待了一小群人

425
00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:56,928
那是30秒之前的事,你把大家都趕走了耶

426
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,513
你說小加就是這樣?

427
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,640
好喔,保羅就是這樣

428
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:03,601
你就是這麼冥頑不靈,太害怕承擔責任了

429
00:19:03,602 --> 00:19:06,562
- 害怕承擔責任?
- 對...勇敢承擔吧,保羅

430
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,981
他怎麼在哭啊?

431
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,442
老天爺啊

432
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,944
他好漂亮喔

433
00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:14,403
- 別哭啦
- 他看了我的眼睛

434
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:15,988
對,不過是四目相交嘛

435
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,156
- 眼神交會就...
- 好

436
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,116
讓我抱寶寶吧,因為這太沉重了

437
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,034
- 對不起
- 沒事

438
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,286
(艾莉絲,生日快樂)

439
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:22,870
你們覺得如何?

440
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,664
- 美妙極了
- 太棒了

441
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:28,334
- 可以快一點嗎?
- 他媽的,這是派對耶,保羅

442
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,378
你怎麼隨時都這麼暴躁啊?

443
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:32,463
- 誰傷害了你?
- 我爸

444
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,216
對,是的,沒有啦,這我知道

445
00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:36,717
你有記得車子的大蝴蝶結嗎?

446
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:37,885
你只要求我做一件事

447
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,178
- 這污辱到我了
- 你忘了

448
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,137
幾乎是馬上就忘了

449
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,515
嘿,那個暖身趴如何?

450
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:46,185
說了祕密、流了眼淚
而且秀了打洞的地方,所以...

451
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,728
對,也嚇到掉下巴了

452
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,857
我差點忘了,我朋友等一下要來接我出去

453
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,066
妳們兩個要一起來嗎?

454
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,151
好

455
00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:58,865
不了,我不能去,不過謝謝妳邀我們

456
00:19:58,866 --> 00:19:59,991
坐吧

457
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:01,117
給妳

458
00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:03,995
好,裡面有收據,免得妳不喜歡

459
00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:06,455
妳不會喜歡,因為我跟妳不熟
也不知道妳喜歡什麼

460
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,456
不錯喔

461
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,125
不管是什麼,妳都一定會喜歡的

462
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,127
他送過我一雙超酷的耐吉球鞋

463
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:12,336
我到現在還不敢穿

464
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:13,671
嘿,送禮物小心點啦

465
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,715
當她拆開禮物,或點亮蠟燭

466
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,633
- 那派對就開始倒數了
- 不要啊

467
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,927
- 保羅,拜託不要,保羅
- 他好像要點亮蠟燭了

468
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:20,887
謝了,保羅

469
00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:22,513
我可不是為了妳

470
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,308
沒關係,我不慌

471
00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:26,934
我超冷靜的

472
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,437
- 那我就開始囉
- 好,來吧

473
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:33,316
我想要聊聊我那超讚的女兒,艾莉絲

474
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:36,069
“A”表示“妳最棒”

475
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,113
“L”表示“我是個幸運的爸爸”

476
00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,531
方向反了

477
00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:41,782
這樣是反的?

478
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,242
- 你們看起來是反的?
- 對

479
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,535
- 這樣是正的?
- 對

480
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,162
- 對
- 就繼續說吧

481
00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:47,456
快點啦,別管這個了

482
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:50,000
- 我們看起來是正的
- 沒錯啦

483
00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:54,003
“I”代表“我也許該閉嘴了
因為我看得出她痛恨如此”

484
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:55,713
超痛恨的

485
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:58,966
- “C”表示“辦不到”,因為...
- 又是反的

486
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:00,676
我最愛看她尷尬

487
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,389
“E”表示 “我很高興...”

488
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,307
見鬼了

489
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,017
- 這個字已經有“E”了耶
- 沒錯

490
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:12,313
我很高興妳在這個新的人生階段要駛向...

491
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:15,442
駛向?我的天啊...

492
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:21,364
- 來吧
- 太讚了...

493
00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:22,907
我的天啊

494
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,951
就跟媽的那輛一樣

495
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:26,161
沒有完全跟媽那輛一樣

496
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:27,995
我們沒在這輛製造出妳

497
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,080
爸,你最棒了

498
00:21:29,081 --> 00:21:30,665
我好愛妳

499
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:33,543
- 我的生日小賤貨
- 嘿,珊莫

500
00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:35,378
- 嗨
- 妳說得對

501
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:36,672
他送妳車了

502
00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:39,508
對啊,至少我表現得很驚喜

503
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,218
- 謝謝
- 哇

504
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:43,594
你得坐後座

505
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,805
- 好啊
- 好

506
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,098
- 嘿...
- 嗨

507
00:21:47,099 --> 00:21:49,309
安全帶,大家繫好安全帶

508
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:55,607
- 好,再見
- 好,掰囉,再見

509
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:57,192
掰

510
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,486
她不會回來了,對吧?

511
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,571
可能永遠不會回來了

512
00:22:01,572 --> 00:22:02,697
你幹嘛給她鑰匙啊?

513
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:04,615
- 我們本來還有30分鐘耶
- 嘿,別這樣

514
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,117
那是個自私的成年女子

515
00:22:06,118 --> 00:22:07,577
- 妳知道我們把她教得很好
- 好

516
00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,370
你們知道怎麼著?派對才剛開始呢

517
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:12,623
我們有吃的、有音樂
我們可以大家一起玩

518
00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:15,376
- 不要,汪汪,再見
- 好

519
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,461
來派對吧

520
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,423
- 灌烈酒吧,好耶
- 大家上啊

521
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:23,677
好,我回家去拿我最愛的啤酒

522
00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:26,929
寶貝,要我去幫你拿嗎?

523
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,014
我很樂意

524
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:29,141
不用,不需要

525
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:34,730
莉茲,我他媽的已經看不下去了

526
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:36,939
- 什麼?
- 妳跟德瑞克啊

527
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,024
太讓人心神不寧了

528
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:40,026
就好像直男玩踢球一樣

529
00:22:40,027 --> 00:22:41,569
你吃我的屁吧,布萊恩

530
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:42,987
但我是女生,你不會喜歡

531
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:44,906
謝天謝地,妳還是妳

532
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,991
妳不該是這樣的啊

533
00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:48,117
我知道

534
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,954
我被困在自己的恥辱裡了

535
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:54,624
我想不到可以就此打住的辦法

536
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,753
我要給妳看一張今天餐車被標註的照片

537
00:22:58,462 --> 00:23:02,216
{\an8}“臭蝦女回來了”,我是臭蝦女嗎?

538
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:04,676
真是太感人了

539
00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:07,678
所有留言都在說妳有多討人厭

540
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:10,515
我知道,因為我太棒了

541
00:23:10,516 --> 00:23:12,016
但這跟我和德瑞克的事有何關係?

542
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:13,560
他也想念臭蝦女啊

543
00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:16,646
- 每個留言他都按讚了
- 真的嗎?

544
00:23:16,647 --> 00:23:19,398
沒有,但我覺得如果他會用社群媒體
他就會這麼做

545
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,985
妳要相信一個當直男當了20年的人

546
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:26,532
如果妳不想個辦法開始去忠於自我

547
00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:30,452
妳就再也無法享受性愛了

548
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,371
- 兄弟,你說真的?
- 對,她能懂

549
00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:34,873
對,我懂,我知道

550
00:23:37,084 --> 00:23:39,753
吃妳的屁,而且因為妳是女生
所以我不會喜歡?

551
00:23:40,254 --> 00:23:41,379
很好笑啊

552
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:42,297
我可能會按讚喔

553
00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:46,008
好,我們把妳的車停在我家

554
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,177
然後我們就走到橋下去過生日

555
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:49,720
- 太好了
- 我準備了飲料

556
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,806
音樂和無毒大麻

557
00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:53,015
太棒了

558
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,851
- 妳收到簡訊了
- 唸給我聽

559
00:23:54,852 --> 00:23:56,352
是路易斯傳來的

560
00:23:56,353 --> 00:23:59,772
“抱歉這麼晚回訊,生日快樂
很高興我們有機會認識

561
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:03,861
但我們兩個最好不要繼續聯絡比較好”

562
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,071
我們要繞去一個地方

563
00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:10,992
這是個好機會,讓你看看我有多聰明

564
00:24:10,993 --> 00:24:13,411
那是密室逃脫,兄弟,你會很喜歡的

565
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:15,580
我覺得應該不會

566
00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:18,040
- 我不懂,被人鎖在一個房間裡?
- 對

567
00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:19,584
- 而且出不去?
- 對

568
00:24:19,585 --> 00:24:21,544
- 然後得解數學問題?
- 對

569
00:24:21,545 --> 00:24:22,545
你喜歡這樣?

570
00:24:22,546 --> 00:24:23,588
沒有,我討厭死了

571
00:24:23,589 --> 00:24:26,674
可是也許這次出去玩
我們可以穿相同的衣服

572
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:28,634
哇,你剛剛沒提起要穿相同的衣服喔

573
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:31,096
- 那我肯定要去的
- 一定會很好玩

574
00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:33,056
嗨

575
00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:36,101
- 嘿,艾莉絲
- 能聊聊嗎?

576
00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:40,688
我想,但沒辦法,我得工作

577
00:24:40,689 --> 00:24:42,899
不用,兄弟
現在沒什麼生意,可以打烊了

578
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,485
- 感謝你這麼善解人意
- 不客氣

579
00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:53,493
你有新朋友了

580
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:55,244
他是你麻吉?

581
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:57,998
應該吧,因為他是我唯一的朋友

582
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,542
重新開始感覺很不錯

583
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,337
我很瞭

584
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,255
我為你感到很開心

585
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,340
謝謝妳

586
00:25:07,341 --> 00:25:09,675
你都沒回我簡訊,我很擔心你

587
00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:11,344
但你看起來很好

588
00:25:11,345 --> 00:25:13,179
對啊,我很好

589
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,932
我是說,嘿,我的生活
並不像泡泡糖和甜甜圈,不過

590
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:17,183
- 妳知道...
- 這裡沒人那樣說

591
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:19,143
我不知道美國人會怎麼說

592
00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:20,187
像手槍和大砲?

593
00:25:22,356 --> 00:25:24,149
情況真的越來越好了

594
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:30,780
我以前每天早上都會跟莎拉一起來這裡

595
00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:32,114
在她去上班前

596
00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:37,453
我們會坐在這裡
猜大家都是做什麼工作的

597
00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,164
後來發生那件事情之後

598
00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:44,962
我會坐在這凳子上好幾個小時

599
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,632
每次看到火車進站

600
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,845
我都得用盡全力阻止自己站起來去...

601
00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:58,600
反正就是這樣

602
00:26:03,313 --> 00:26:05,148
你為何不想繼續跟我聯絡了?

603
00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:07,067
很奇怪耶

604
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,738
我覺得這樣比較好

605
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:14,992
我不相信你

606
00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:19,997
我爸對你說了什麼?

607
00:26:23,458 --> 00:26:24,834
- 嘿
- 嗨

608
00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:27,712
- 來吧,給妳,漂亮的小姐
- 欸,謝謝你,先生

609
00:26:27,713 --> 00:26:29,672
- 但你沒有,兄弟
- 其實我不能喝

610
00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:32,175
開車去我媽家要一小時,我該出發了

611
00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:33,676
妳確定不要我一起去?

612
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,220
- 是啊,不用
- 我超會哄媽媽喔

613
00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:39,182
妳要知道我很會撩,搞不好還會打個屁股

614
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:40,600
你要打我媽的屁股?

615
00:26:40,601 --> 00:26:43,144
你有什麼毛病啊?我們之後再討論這個

616
00:26:43,145 --> 00:26:44,521
不過,幫我個忙

617
00:26:45,189 --> 00:26:46,522
安慰一下我的小吉寶

618
00:26:46,523 --> 00:26:48,357
他得感覺自己還有殺傷力

619
00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:51,110
- 知道了,好的
- 好,再見,我再打給你

620
00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,195
- 再見
- 妳要走了?

621
00:26:52,196 --> 00:26:53,322
- 對,再見
- 再見

622
00:26:55,032 --> 00:26:57,492
待在你家真是不舒服耶

623
00:26:58,076 --> 00:27:00,662
我不禁一直想像
你們兩個瘋狂炒飯的畫面

624
00:27:01,455 --> 00:27:02,581
謝了,兄弟

625
00:27:03,916 --> 00:27:05,250
什麼鬼啊?

626
00:27:07,044 --> 00:27:08,669
德瑞克,這是你的狗嗎?

627
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,506
對,這是麥克的新品啤酒

628
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:13,675
我很喜歡,別跟莉茲說
這樣會讓她的行為更誇張

629
00:27:14,384 --> 00:27:17,512
我已經結婚27年了,然後突然間

630
00:27:17,513 --> 00:27:20,723
我的老婆被一個詭異的複製人盜帳號了

631
00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:23,226
我知道,這讓我覺得有種山雨欲來的感覺

632
00:27:23,227 --> 00:27:28,856
昨晚她跟我說,她眼裡永遠有我
耳裡也永遠有我

633
00:27:28,857 --> 00:27:33,195
- 太恐怖了吧
- 我才不要她看我和聽我咧,對吧?

634
00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:36,572
經營關係是很難的

635
00:27:36,573 --> 00:27:37,657
我懂,兄弟

636
00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:41,328
我是說,小加很棒,但要瞭解她就...

637
00:27:42,579 --> 00:27:44,873
應該說她的防禦性太強了

638
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:47,333
- 很難
- 對啊

639
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:50,253
- 我今天遇見了一個女人
- 女人耶

640
00:27:50,254 --> 00:27:53,381
我們很合得來,你們猜我做了什麼事?

641
00:27:53,382 --> 00:27:55,216
- 什麼事?
- 沒事

642
00:27:55,217 --> 00:27:56,509
什麼也沒做

643
00:27:56,510 --> 00:27:59,637
我不禁懷疑自己
是否能準備好迎接認真的關係

644
00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:01,056
別那麼說,小吉

645
00:28:01,932 --> 00:28:03,266
只能叫你吉米嗎?

646
00:28:03,267 --> 00:28:05,518
- 那麼叫讓我覺得很幼稚
- 不會,很適合啊

647
00:28:05,519 --> 00:28:09,106
跟你說,世事是會改變的,老吉

648
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,402
身為治療師,我相信

649
00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:17,155
但我也看過有些人
長久以來都過著某種固定的生活模式

650
00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:20,700
似乎永遠都無法克服障礙

651
00:28:20,701 --> 00:28:25,037
嘿,兄弟,很抱歉闖進來
我只是來待個幾天的

652
00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:27,082
嘿,過來這裡

653
00:28:32,713 --> 00:28:38,718
妳知道有時候,正確的做法就在我眼前

654
00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:45,516
但因為我是個討厭鬼
我得花很久才做得到

655
00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:47,853
這是你其中一個最討人喜歡的特質

656
00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:49,812
在我認識妳之前

657
00:28:49,813 --> 00:28:56,277
我覺得我過著最棒的人生

658
00:28:56,278 --> 00:28:59,405
我的事業很成功,也與家人重新培養感情

659
00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:02,200
還跟同一條街上的小姐有點這個那個

660
00:29:02,201 --> 00:29:04,869
同一條街上的哪個小姐?她住在哪裡啊?

661
00:29:04,870 --> 00:29:06,288
她搬走了

662
00:29:07,164 --> 00:29:10,876
所以問題是,我從來沒想過
還會有更棒的生活

663
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,005
搬來跟我住吧

664
00:29:15,506 --> 00:29:17,381
我算是已經這麼做了

665
00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:19,383
我半數的衣服都已經放在這了

666
00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:22,095
我也把照片都拿了出來,我只是...

667
00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:25,265
一直在等你明白

668
00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:30,603
那些人是誰啊?

669
00:29:30,604 --> 00:29:32,563
是我姊妹和她的孩子們

670
00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:34,899
不然你以為他們是誰?

671
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:36,776
我還以為是買相框送的照片

672
00:29:36,777 --> 00:29:38,570
保羅

673
00:29:40,322 --> 00:29:41,156
你還好嗎?

674
00:29:45,244 --> 00:29:46,869
對,我很好

675
00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:48,789
好,我馬上回來

676
00:29:51,834 --> 00:29:55,044
我無法決定
該把妳外公最愛的扶手椅帶過去

677
00:29:55,045 --> 00:29:56,295
還是放到倉庫裡

678
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:57,506
媽,那是放屁椅嗎?

679
00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,341
妳該把它燒了,怎麼還留著?

680
00:30:00,342 --> 00:30:02,218
他以前在這上頭放了好多屁

681
00:30:02,219 --> 00:30:03,427
不要帶過去,太扯了啦

682
00:30:03,428 --> 00:30:05,137
拜託啦

683
00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:07,182
- 等等,媽,我得接這通電話
- 好

684
00:30:09,351 --> 00:30:10,476
老闆,怎麼了呀?

685
00:30:10,477 --> 00:30:12,061
我有新室友了

686
00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:13,354
什麼?不會吧

687
00:30:13,355 --> 00:30:16,650
我只是想要感謝妳給了我勇氣

688
00:30:18,443 --> 00:30:20,779
我得掛了,茱莉來了

689
00:30:22,030 --> 00:30:23,198
嘿,你慢慢來

690
00:30:23,699 --> 00:30:24,782
你也得好好伸展筋骨喔

691
00:30:24,783 --> 00:30:26,742
你太老了,別亂來,好嗎?

692
00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:27,828
晚安

693
00:30:30,289 --> 00:30:32,958
寶貝,妳有看到封箱膠帶嗎?
剛剛還在我手上

694
00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:36,879
親愛的,怎麼了嗎?

695
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:47,848
- 媽,我很愛妳,可是...
- 我也愛妳

696
00:30:50,642 --> 00:30:52,060
我覺得妳不該搬來跟我住

697
00:30:54,229 --> 00:31:00,318
我覺得妳在這裡會比較開心
更貼近妳的朋友跟妳的生活

698
00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:01,694
我也會好好照顧妳

699
00:31:01,695 --> 00:31:04,655
我會幫妳請個全日看護
我會比以前更常過來看妳

700
00:31:04,656 --> 00:31:07,033
這個...跟妳說,我真的早該這麼做了

701
00:31:07,034 --> 00:31:09,577
我知道我真的犯了一個大錯

702
00:31:09,578 --> 00:31:11,370
因為沒有早點說出口

703
00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:15,751
不過,我真的覺得這樣做才對

704
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:18,504
對我們兩個來說都是

705
00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,383
我希望妳能理解

706
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:27,221
媽

707
00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:29,847
我覺得妳也許該走了

708
00:31:29,848 --> 00:31:31,557
- 妳已經下定決心了
- 媽

709
00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:34,102
妳該說的都說了,快走吧

710
00:31:37,606 --> 00:31:38,649
對不起啦

711
00:31:43,654 --> 00:31:44,488
我也是

712
00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:56,834
艾莉絲的生日派對很棒喔,兄弟

713
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:01,046
即使她只有開頭在場而已

714
00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:04,091
謝了,德瑞克

715
00:32:05,217 --> 00:32:06,384
是啊,我覺得很棒

716
00:32:06,385 --> 00:32:07,386
你的確該覺得棒

717
00:32:08,053 --> 00:32:09,179
你是個好老爹

718
00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:13,684
我很感激,但別叫我老爹啊

719
00:32:15,894 --> 00:32:20,439
- 嘿,尚恩,這蛋糕真好吃
- 謝了,老德

720
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,359
這是預拌粉還是從無到有?

721
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,406
你他媽的晚上11點半在這裡
大吼大叫什麼蛋糕的事?

722
00:32:28,448 --> 00:32:30,449
你發瘋了嗎?

723
00:32:30,450 --> 00:32:31,617
給我在外頭吃完

724
00:32:31,618 --> 00:32:34,371
要是你把蛋糕屑帶上我的床,我就宰了你

725
00:32:39,084 --> 00:32:40,127
你還好嗎?

726
00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:44,131
我只是很高興

727
00:32:54,141 --> 00:32:56,476
(嘿,我是蘇菲
你女兒喜歡那輛車嗎?)

728
00:33:00,856 --> 00:33:02,815
你叫他不要跟我聯絡?

729
00:33:02,816 --> 00:33:04,609
即使你知道那樣對我有幫助?

730
00:33:04,610 --> 00:33:07,196
我真是他媽的不敢相信你這麼做

731
00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:10,282
你又毀了一個生日

732
00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:12,367
親愛的

733
00:33:14,036 --> 00:33:16,121
艾莉...幹

734
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,002
字幕翻譯:徐懿芬