1
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{\an8}(《向前邁進》,作者:保羅羅德斯)

2
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小加總是一直批評我的書

3
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這是有史以來,對於現代認知行為療法

4
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最清楚、最簡明扼要的著作

5
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真不錯,是誰寫的啊?

6
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不重要,我只是想跟你說一下

7
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你還好嗎?

8
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可惡

9
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就是這樣,你知道的,我沒事,我很好

10
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你是個好治療師

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你已經知道我要說什麼了

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你別太開心

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我是說“好”,不是說“很棒”

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我知道,但我覺得你的意思就是“很棒”

15
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也許吧

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嘿,孩子,你永遠都不會原諒自己
是個一敗塗地的父親

17
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除非你對艾莉絲敞開心房

18
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她可能還是會怪罪於你

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但坦承相待的行為會讓人感到療癒

20
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告解的原理就是這樣

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不管那個怪神父回了什麼都無所謂

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重點是你承認自己的所作所為
還有錯誤的原因

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跟你說,我不想讓艾莉絲認為
我是因為她而痛苦

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我不要那麼做

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好

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兄弟,搞啥啊?就這樣?

27
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目前來說是的

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嘿,你應該要帶些糖果給我的
還有一頂新帽子

29
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有啊,放在你桌上了,保羅

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嘿,我知道你覺得這樣很好笑
但我很喜歡喔

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好

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討厭啦

33
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不錯喔,寶貝

34
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好,你專心打球,來吧

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厲害的要來囉

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- 好耶,寶貝
- 我來

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- 寶貝,還好嗎?
- 很棒的比賽

38
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但現在才三比零耶

39
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但我已經看得出來
你們的球技不夠好,打起來不好玩

40
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而且我們的三個兒子
要回來過感恩節,有很多事要做

41
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得去買打火機油,好在他們離開後
點火燒了床單?

42
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男生再老都不會放棄
打手槍的愛好,對吧?

43
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對

44
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- 你們有在為寶寶做準備嗎?
- 不急啦,還有四個月

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- 你們還沒開始準備?
- 哇

46
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你們兩個是有嗑藥嗎?

47
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- 其實還真的稍微有
- 想來顆大麻軟糖嗎?

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你們兩個都有工作

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如果你們不快點開始找保母的話

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你們的父母就得來幫忙

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我們生第一胎的時候

52
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我媽來幫忙,還把莉茲的胎盤丟掉
她們到現在都沒跟彼此說話過

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- 不只是因為那樣
- 不能讓父母來

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妳留著胎盤?

55
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- 對啊
- 你別管

56
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好喔,我現在滿腦子都是那個

57
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好,冷靜啦,我會幫忙找保母

58
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妳最棒了,再跟我們說妳找了誰吧

59
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你也要一起找,白痴

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好,再來打一場消除壓力,換搭檔吧

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隨和組對戰難搞組

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來吧,德仔

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妳看吧,他知道哪個是哪個耶

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德仔的肚肚中了一掌,來吧

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對,媽,我知道妳還在生氣

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妳有生氣的權利

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我超有權利的

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- 好,我們有共識
- 對,沒錯

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所以妳能來我的感恩節派對嗎?

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妳可以在黑色星期五再繼續生我的氣

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雖然我認為黑人家庭應該要在那天大團圓

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妳怎麼不說話了?
該死的妮琪跟妳在一起嗎?

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- 說話小心點
- 她真沒禮貌

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給我聽好,臭女人,妳別管我家的事

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不然我會像黑道大哥那樣追殺妳

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妳敢就試試看,妳來啊

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我會的

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還有,妳週六多待了一晚
可以把妳的轉帳資訊給我嗎?

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- 沒問題,我給妳
- 謝了

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好喔,那麼,媽,我可以去接妳

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抱歉,小加,我很抱歉,這...

82
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現在太難做到了,寶貝,太難了

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她不來

84
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什麼?妳有跟她說德睿克要來嗎?

85
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妳媽不想見見他嗎?

86
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,415
好啦,德睿克也不來,我也惹毛他了

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你沒看到我一臉“給我閉嘴”的表情嗎?

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有啊,莉茲,但我要替自己說句話
妳總是一臉那個表情

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我不確定妳是不是還有別種表情

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有另一種耶

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來抱抱吧

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妳想要把頭埋進我的波霸隱乳裡嗎?

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莉茲,少來了,小妞
最多只能算是中型隱乳

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妳該來看看

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我看過數不清次了,妳知道的啊

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我知道,但我那時候是躺著的

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- 來啦
- 我知道,寶貝

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- 我喜歡奶碰奶的感覺
- 我也喜歡

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嘿,不知道這裡是怎樣
我就直接開始說話吧

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這是妳的感恩節菜單

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我要做火雞、火腿
起司通心粉、沙拉佐醬汁

102
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真他媽的,你人真好,還幫小加做菜

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不怎麼好,這傢伙收我好多錢耶

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- 拿錢好辦事
- 不過他會教我該說些什麼

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才能假裝是我做的

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比方說“我給火腿去骨了”

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- 不對
- 豬都有骨頭,尚恩

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好,我要出去了,你也想要奶碰奶嗎?

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- 好啊,有何不可?
- 好

110
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抄襲鬼

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既然現在艾莉絲基本上算是住在妳這裡

112
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我本來希望可以打個招呼
但我想她應該是不在

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我在這裡喔

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好喔,其實是我不知道
妳知不知道我在這裡

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- 我知道
- 好

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- 真討厭
- 真是慘不忍睹

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再見

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小壞蛋,你好嗎?

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嘿,我需要妳幫我個忙

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讓艾莉絲知道只要她想聊
我隨時都在,好嗎?

121
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說得稀鬆平常一點,加點流行語

122
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也許說個“死黨”什麼的

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說“死黨”很不酷

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- 妳自己發揮吧
- 好

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你是真的很在乎,對吧?

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對,我這個人就是這樣

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我爸媽感恩節根本不在

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我媽要去莫倫戈過週末

129
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,892
我爸也在莫倫戈
但他依法必須離我媽至少30公尺遠

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所以當我媽在賭的時候,我爸在泳池

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00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,897
- 然後我媽在泳池的時候...你知道啦
- 對

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聊天真開心,珊莫

133
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掰囉,小壞蛋

134
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對,並不是關於用藥的好消息

135
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,615
但我正在消化中

136
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,950
你說消化,意思是拒絕談這件事嗎?

137
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,911
還是不說你對此的感覺?

138
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:10,828
答對了

139
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,581
嘿,跟梅格說我在IG上看到她的新髮型

140
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真漂亮

141
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茱莉要妳知道她都在偷窺妳

142
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,921
沒關係,她很辣

143
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你知道怎麼著?我很高興她在那裡
我打電話來是因為...爸

144
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我們本來很開心
你們要飛來這裡過感恩節,可是...

145
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梅森的長曲棍球隊今天獲勝了

146
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真是太扯了
因為他們明明就很爛,而我現在得...

147
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,525
我們週末得去緬因州參加錦標賽

148
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不如你們別來過感恩節

149
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,529
我們幾週後過去看你?

150
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,113
爸,我真的很內疚,我...

151
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,115
別內疚,沒關係

152
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我很失望

153
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,745
但我會沒事的

154
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- 我愛你
- 寶貝女兒,我也愛妳

155
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,667
我們不用去康乃狄克州了

156
00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:01,212
我們可以待在這裡,什麼也不做
真是史上最棒感恩節

157
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,881
你還沒掛喔,爸

158
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:06,968
抱歉啦

159
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,679
對...你是該抱歉

160
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《誠實診療室》

161
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,002
{\an8}上週,我覺得好像有了進展

162
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:43,254
{\an8}但這週,我們是真的會有進展,好嗎?

163
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{\an8}- 因為我攝取了滿滿的咖啡因
- 好,好喔

164
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,466
{\an8}嘿,妳先去,等我一下

165
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,093
{\an8}嘿,保羅,我聽說你要留在這裡

166
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,137
{\an8}如果你想來一起過感恩節再跟我說

167
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,807
{\an8}不要,如果妳跟茱莉說
妳有邀請我們的話,我就宰了妳

168
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,017
{\an8}感謝你這麼快速回應

169
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,018
{\an8}- 嘿
- 嘿

170
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,437
{\an8}別忘了,我們等一下要一起喝咖啡

171
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,814
{\an8}拜託啦,兄弟,不要再“聊”了

172
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,608
{\an8}怎樣?你要去跟你女兒玩?

173
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,861
{\an8}- 你也沒更好的事可做
- 可惡

174
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,779
{\an8}對啊

175
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,995
{\an8}嘿,都還好嗎?

176
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,546
{\an8}抱歉,我不知道還能打給誰

177
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,255
{\an8}怎麼了?

178
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:30,135
{\an8}她請我們打開上鎖的盒子拿過敏藥
然後就想偷事後藥

179
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:31,929
{\an8}能讓我們私下談談嗎?

180
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:36,600
{\an8}怎麼回事?

181
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,559
{\an8}妳還好嗎?

182
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,354
{\an8}我只是覺得很丟臉

183
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{\an8}康納回家,我們復合,然後保險套破掉了

184
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,526
{\an8}我挺愛用力啪的,所以...

185
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,152
{\an8}幹,別說...

186
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,445
{\an8}我還沒報警

187
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,532
{\an8}好,聽我說

188
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,283
{\an8}她是個很乖的孩子

189
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{\an8}不如我直接付錢
我們大家就繼續過日子吧?

190
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,746
{\an8}謝了,小壞蛋

191
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,249
{\an8}她怎麼會叫你小壞蛋?

192
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,625
{\an8}沒有啦...她叫每個人都是小壞蛋

193
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:03,709
{\an8}她就沒叫我小壞蛋

194
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:04,627
{\an8}你不是小壞蛋

195
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,672
{\an8}她應該是要變熟之後才會叫人小壞蛋

196
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,382
{\an8}得要變熟之後才會叫你小壞蛋
先生,她是你女兒嗎?

197
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,299
{\an8}- 是
- 不是

198
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,969
{\an8}不是,她是個朋友

199
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,512
{\an8}其實,她是我女兒的朋友

200
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:16,055
{\an8}有時候我們會一起玩

201
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,349
{\an8}怎麼我說出的每句話
都讓情況聽起來更糟糕呢?

202
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,602
{\an8}- 我不知道,但我全都不喜歡
- 我也是

203
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,436
{\an8}這樣吧,我要離開

204
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,313
{\an8}希望你跟我一樣希望這件事快點結束

205
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,816
{\an8}- 是沒錯
- 好,太好了

206
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:31,905
{\an8}- 謝了,吉米
- 不客氣

207
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,073
{\an8}你留的錢夠付我拿的大麻口香糖嗎?

208
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,158
{\an8}真該死啊,珊莫

209
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,035
(卡瓊餐車)

210
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,662
好期待去你爸媽家過感恩節

211
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,747
有什麼我得知道的特殊傳統嗎?

212
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,709
沒有,我們通常就只是看美式足球賽
吃得太撐

213
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,920
然後差不多到了傍晚,我媽會哭
說都沒有人感激她

214
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,088
真是等不及了

215
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,173
對啊,很好玩的

216
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:51,675
- 再見,艾莉絲
- 再見

217
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,470
謝謝妳幫忙,很好玩吧?

218
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,765
真好玩,殺了我吧

219
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,267
妳怎麼會跑來?

220
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,686
我沒辦法跟其他人聊天

221
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,064
他們都很擔心我太逼我爸了

222
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:11,611
不知道耶,他在我這輩子
都是個能為任何人掏心掏肺的大好人

223
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,280
我是說,你本來是個陌生人
而且會把人揍得死去活來

224
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,241
而他卻邀請你住進我們家,記得嗎?

225
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,659
我是記得,沒錯

226
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:23,414
我跟他說,如果他能去見路易斯
對我來說有多重要

227
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,916
但他還是不去

228
00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:26,001
我明白妳說的

229
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,753
在我跟我爸不對盤的時候

230
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,547
得由我去跟他說
我們必須對彼此更加敞開心扉

231
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:35,051
分享自己的感覺,現在他根本改頭換面了

232
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,970
- 哇賽,真的嗎?
- 才怪

233
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:40,765
- 別誤會我的意思,他很努力
- 好

234
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:41,974
現在我跟他說我愛他

235
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,103
他就會這樣,指著我再彈手指

236
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,981
我想這表示他也愛我吧?

237
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,067
對

238
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,818
我的意思是,嘿
我一直有跟保羅說這件事

239
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:53,904
他說...

240
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:59,700
“如果你是希望某天對方會改變
才愛著某個人的話

241
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,953
那就不是愛”

242
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,704
- 好像喔
- 謝謝

243
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,499
不過他說得對

244
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,378
真正的愛是要去接受一個人
包括他的界線和一切所有

245
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:10,921
而...

246
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,297
我爸的努力讓我接受了他

247
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,383
永遠的

248
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,387
嘿,你現在情緒這麼健康真是太討人厭了

249
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,681
抱歉囉

250
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,019
這地方真棒,兄弟

251
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,064
對啊...莉茲鼓勵我買下來

252
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,274
一部分是為了投資

253
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:35,821
一部分是讓我能有個專屬的空間
遠離她的空間

254
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,614
- 她有來過嗎?
- 有

255
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:42,034
她來的時候會穿皮褲
改名叫“薇洛妮卡”

256
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,327
說多一點吧

257
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,621
好,我通常不喜歡被勒...

258
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,165
算了,我錯了,不要說

259
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,626
- 你確定?
- 確定

260
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,213
嘿,很遺憾你跟小加沒有結果

261
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,883
對啊,兄弟,你幹嘛把我介紹給她?

262
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,301
- 真是該死耶
- 我還以為你們兩個

263
00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,470
- 會很配啊
- 我也以為,兄弟

264
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,765
最糟糕的是我懷疑她根本不會想起我

265
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,226
我一直在想他

266
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:08,811
昨晚我做了個很扯的夢

267
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:12,064
我跟基努李維
在一間超豪華飯店裡翻雲覆雨

268
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,942
德睿克是前台接待員,他在當門僮

269
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,195
基努小弟弟的尖端也是他,超誇張的

270
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:20,364
好喔,這個正常得要命的夢
應該有給妳什麼訊息吧

271
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,325
好,首先,她說得對

272
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,452
然後第二,我不喜歡妳有其他朋友

273
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,620
莉茲,我們討論過了

274
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,622
我們兩個都可以有其他朋友啊,該死耶

275
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:29,290
我不想要其他朋友

276
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,958
- 好喔,那妳就得接受
- 不要

277
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:34,253
在愛莉亞甩了尼可那個爛人之後
我跟她就變好了

278
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,714
我還是不明白問題是什麼
德睿克看起來很棒啊

279
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,424
德睿克最棒了

280
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,468
他就像我老公,只不過他是黑人

281
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:43,179
而且老實說,只有變成黑人
才能讓我老公變得更棒

282
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,597
不過他得留著那頭秀髮

283
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,807
那樣他就會是個外貌很有趣的黑人

284
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,142
我會很樂意上他

285
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,229
我會很樂意狠狠地上他

286
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,398
靠,兩位,我這輩子都在照顧人

287
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,194
我喜歡知道自己被人需要

288
00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,862
所以我才只有跟尼可那種人交往

289
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,739
妳們想知道跟尼可那種人交往
最棒的是什麼嗎?

290
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:02,657
免費海洛因

291
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,825
- 別再讓我更喜歡妳了
- 不行

292
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,452
可以讓人沒有壓力

293
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,664
就是當妳跟爛人在一起,那麼妳就是聖人

294
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:12,291
如果妳離開,也是他的錯,因為他太爛了

295
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:17,339
不過德睿克的問題是
他喜歡我,但他不需要我

296
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,924
根本沒有退場機制

297
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,092
所以才那麼可怕

298
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:23,052
打給他啦

299
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,346
跟妳說,勇敢並非不會害怕

300
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,557
是害怕,卻還是勇往直前

301
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,642
我的天啊,說得真棒

302
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,270
我要偷來假裝是我想出來的

303
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:33,480
討厭,我得走了

304
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,357
- 我愛妳
- 愛妳

305
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,067
我越來越喜歡妳了

306
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,945
好,有需要這樣嗎?

307
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:41,905
(溫蒂莫瑞,互惠青年)

308
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,657
妳其實是我們面試的第一個保母

309
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,368
我比較喜歡“互惠青年”的稱呼

310
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,995
我喜歡,很夢幻耶

311
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,413
抱歉...我遲到了

312
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,497
我的天啊,莉茲

313
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,208
她很可愛,有點假掰,我喜歡她

314
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:58,337
這個嘛,她手上的
夜店印章標記不怎麼可愛

315
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,090
妳連沖個澡把它洗掉都嫌麻煩嗎?

316
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,008
下一位

317
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,135
(貝絲達博)

318
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,845
妳典型的日常生活是怎樣呢?

319
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806
我喜歡讓寶寶來帶領我

320
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,892
對耶,因為寶寶都好聰明喔

321
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,226
他們的行為都好直觀

322
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,645
完全不是,掰

323
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,064
- 出去的時候拿瓶水吧
- 不要拿氣泡水

324
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,358
(梅莉麗麥卡利斯特)

325
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,986
我可以在克雷格列表網站幫你們弄到母乳

326
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:25,114
你們看我幹嘛?當然是不要啊

327
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,283
- 當然是不要,小妞
- 當然不要

328
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,285
(克里斯瑞斯)

329
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,954
你們好嗎?我本名叫克里斯
不過我都用陶佛這名字

330
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,790
- 很適合你
- 有兩個外號耶

331
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,418
- 當然不要
- 拜託啦,莉茲

332
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:38,921
你知道你應付不來

333
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:40,671
她可沒說錯

334
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,881
陶佛,你有什麼專長?

335
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,341
我很會用微波爐

336
00:14:43,342 --> 00:14:44,467
那個好難喔

337
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,468
我的天啊

338
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,594
(凱莉布朗)

339
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:47,678
說吧

340
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,182
好,我有點強迫症,所以我很準時

341
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,852
而且我覺得有些事得對著妳說

342
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,478
她好聰明

343
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:58,731
好,我有心肺復甦術認證
而且非常相信睡眠訓練這一套

344
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,317
另外,我知道這聽起來也許有點老套

345
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:04,821
但我真的認為
協助建立一個家庭是我的榮幸

346
00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:07,740
- 拜託,我們能僱用她嗎?
- 我好無聊喔

347
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,700
可以

348
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,577
拜託...來幫我們吧?

349
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,622
- 好
- 好耶

350
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:15,790
如果妳需要聯絡我們

351
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,794
我可能會跟我朋友陶佛去米科諾斯島
但查理不會去

352
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,465
不要再盯著我的布朗尼了

353
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,552
我跟你說過要吃自己去點
因為我不想分你吃

354
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:30,596
然後你說我很討厭,你不想吃布朗尼

355
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,224
那是五分鐘之前

356
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,933
人都是會變的

357
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,018
真該死

358
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,521
謝謝

359
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,898
你笑屁?

360
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,942
這個啊,你們兩個是我促成的

361
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,277
我讓你們兩個成了朋友

362
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:46,988
如果你有這種能力
能不能讓女人愛上我?

363
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,197
他不是魔法師

364
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,491
真傷人

365
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,284
保羅,我為何來這裡?

366
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:55,289
等你喝完,我要你去跟艾莉絲談談

367
00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:59,333
你可以假裝你沒有對她敞開心房

368
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:03,338
是因為你想保護她
但不是那樣,你是覺得丟臉

369
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:07,425
就像被人看到我的病,我會覺得丟臉

370
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:10,137
大家看到我在抖,就會同情我

371
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:11,888
我痛恨這樣

372
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,390
羞恥感真是太討厭了

373
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:18,103
這讓我決定我們要一起面對
讓自己覺得羞恥的事

374
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:24,193
所以我今天早上沒有吃藥

375
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:28,071
要讓這整個地方的人都看到我真正的樣子

376
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,532
保羅,這真是不可思議

377
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,410
我根本沒注意到你在抖

378
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,829
因為我有吃藥

379
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,496
我孬了

380
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,334
可是你比較有勇氣

381
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,085
這我可不知道

382
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,420
我知道

383
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,466
如果有任何人發生跟你一樣的事

384
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:52,387
卻不會憤世嫉俗又厭世...

385
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,433
那肯定很勵志

386
00:16:58,894 --> 00:16:59,728
謝了,保羅

387
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,652
真的嗎?你們兩個一起?

388
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,944
看起來超好吃的

389
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,404
它在呼喚我,兄弟

390
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,240
我的耶誕老公公啊

391
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:14,450
- 來啦,吃吧
- 好耶

392
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,286
這才是你最該覺得丟臉的事

393
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,248
好吧,來吧

394
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,000
現在是在餵幼鳥進食

395
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,054
嘿,是妳啊

396
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,014
嗨,你好嗎?

397
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,391
我們要開始閒聊了?

398
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,101
對,應該吧,我不知道啦

399
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:43,312
好,這個嘛,我要去市場一趟

400
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:46,482
因為我阿姨忘了買蕃薯泥的重要材料

401
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:47,608
蕃薯嗎?

402
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:48,943
不是啦,是玉米糖

403
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:50,278
哎呦,好噁,會融化嗎?

404
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,779
不會,她做好之後才插進去

405
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,239
- 我不喜歡
- 一定的

406
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,658
嘿,聽我說...

407
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,286
好,德睿克...

408
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:01,540
聽我說,我做了些自我反省

409
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:06,920
跟你說,我只是覺得我不習慣
有人是真的那麼好,所以我...

410
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,255
我就自己毀了它

411
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,507
我真的得改掉這一點

412
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:15,137
我覺得最佳的起點就是做一件事

413
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,514
老實說,是我好幾週前就該做的事

414
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:19,808
所以...

415
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,562
德睿克,我覺得你真的很棒

416
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:29,610
我想知道你願不願意重新考慮
來參加感恩節派對?

417
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:34,697
我是說,也許你能帶點東西來
像是派之類的

418
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:35,990
但如果真的是派會很好

419
00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:37,201
我忘記準備派了

420
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:38,826
我不知道耶,小加

421
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,246
我拉下臉來追求妳,妳卻讓我一直苦等

422
00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:46,752
而且我很努力地不再忽視警訊

423
00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:48,837
所以不如這樣吧?

424
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,633
妳去好好地改善妳需要改善的地方

425
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:57,221
等妳上了軌道,打電話給我,好嗎?

426
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:00,599
好,我會的

427
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:03,644
希望如此

428
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,146
佳節愉快

429
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:09,942
好,你也是

430
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,785
兒子們回家過感恩節很棒吧?

431
00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:21,911
媽

432
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,914
馬修打開我房門,然後放了個屁又關上門

433
00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,583
馬修,不要用屁屁炸彈攻擊你弟

434
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:28,835
就跟你說啊,王八蛋

435
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:31,213
對,真是神奇的時刻

436
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,382
你知道嗎?真的很蠢
他們回來,我應該要很高興

437
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:36,635
但我很難過他們週日就要走了

438
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,679
就像我一整年都在找些什麼東西

439
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,808
然後我他媽的又回到原點了

440
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,476
寶貝,如果有我能幫上忙的...

441
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,938
貼心的老公,我沒事

442
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:52,609
跟你說,在我打磨石頭的時候
有時候會覺得憂鬱

443
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,152
我知道

444
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:55,946
但我會想出辦法的

445
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,948
我是說,記得薇洛妮卡都是怎麼說的嗎?

446
00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:00,324
“用鼻子呼吸”?

447
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,827
不是啦,是另外一句

448
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,829
“管他的,我們來玩吧”

449
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,122
一點也沒錯

450
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,415
你可以走了

451
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:08,834
你走掉了

452
00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,635
有驚喜的客人喔

453
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,554
- 德瑞克
- 嘿

454
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,639
給你

455
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,309
好,保母找得怎麼樣了?

456
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:26,810
有點障礙

457
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,729
我們選的保母凱莉,她週一跟週五不行

458
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:30,938
這對我們來說很不方便

459
00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:33,900
所以我們提議那兩天多付她500美金

460
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:37,236
但現在她在敲詐我們
因為她聽得出我們有多著急

461
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,863
我說太多次“拜託”了

462
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:40,657
沒有啦,他有

463
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,076
500美金?

464
00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,745
那兩天讓莉茲來做,我給你們600美金

465
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:47,246
- 等等,什麼?
- 真是太荒唐了

466
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,289
好,那700美金

467
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,250
- 我們不要拿你的錢
- 不要嗎?

468
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:51,585
我們不要

469
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:54,004
那就讓她免費幫忙

470
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:58,258
你們會有個自己信任的人
而且她經驗豐富

471
00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,218
她會讓你們過得舒服點

472
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:02,429
我是說...

473
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,393
不知道耶,我覺得這也許行得通
會很扯嗎?

474
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:10,728
莉茲很會帶小孩

475
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:12,104
- 對啊
- 沒錯

476
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,816
而且寶寶在睡覺的時候
我確定她一定會做些輕鬆的家事

477
00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:19,278
去你的

478
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:20,364
你有看到嗎?

479
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,035
好,好啦,幾乎值得我大老遠跑過來耶

480
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:29,038
- 只有兩個注意事項
- 怎樣?

481
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:30,289
第一,你們問她的時候

482
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,833
- 別說這是我的主意
- 好

483
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,960
第二,即使她只做兩天

484
00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:37,046
莉茲會想要管另一個保母

485
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:38,673
- 不會啦
- 你又不知道

486
00:21:38,674 --> 00:21:39,842
我覺得我知道

487
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:41,343
哇

488
00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:46,723
嘿,呆頭鵝

489
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,350
你的手能用嗎?

490
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,810
妳是說炒飯的時候嗎?

491
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,395
我怎麼會想知道那個?

492
00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:55,107
不知道,所以我才搞不清楚啊

493
00:21:55,858 --> 00:21:57,567
是啊,我的手在那方面很有用

494
00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,443
酷喔,我會把話傳出去

495
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,572
- 感謝妳
- 接著

496
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:05,950
真他媽的

497
00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:07,285
我終於得到了

498
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:09,746
是我們一起找石頭那次找到的

499
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:11,331
我愛你

500
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,082
謝謝妳,莉茲

501
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,209
你還是搞不定艾莉絲嗎?

502
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:19,046
對,還在這裡努力地擠出點勇氣

503
00:22:19,047 --> 00:22:20,048
我懂

504
00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:23,093
吉米

505
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:28,264
勇敢並非不會害怕

506
00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:33,520
是不去做可怕的事,而不覺得自己...

507
00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:37,565
但你去做就對了,你知道嗎?

508
00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:38,775
就像那樣

509
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,486
我也愛妳

510
00:22:42,279 --> 00:22:43,113
妳滾吧

511
00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:53,999
嘿,是我,我要去小加那邊

512
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:55,708
我很需要跟妳聊聊

513
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:57,210
嘿,爸

514
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:58,295
再見

515
00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:01,173
我才剛留言給妳

516
00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:03,132
我聽到了

517
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,927
珊莫跟我說你去幫了她

518
00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:08,180
真的很酷,很像你的作風

519
00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:11,725
對

520
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,395
我有事要跟妳說

521
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:20,358
我也許很久以前就該這麼做了

522
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,276
你什麼也不用說,不必

523
00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:27,073
我不在乎你有沒有去找路易斯聊

524
00:23:27,074 --> 00:23:29,158
老實說,我那麼要求並不公平

525
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:30,410
而且我愛你

526
00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:32,578
非常愛

527
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:33,871
幹

528
00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,541
- 幹
- 怎麼了?

529
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:37,208
- 幹嘛啦?
- 妳說我?

530
00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:38,293
- 對
- 沒事

531
00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:42,506
現在很容易就能不提起我要說的話

532
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:44,298
你不用說

533
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:45,425
我覺得我得說

534
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:02,609
孩子,每個父母...

535
00:24:04,570 --> 00:24:07,780
都想要相信如果發生了什麼不好的事

536
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:10,409
自己都能堅強起來,好好處理

537
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,493
我當然也曾相信自己可以

538
00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:15,414
相信自己一定會當個大英雄,妳知道嗎?

539
00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:18,125
相信我會成為妳的英雄

540
00:24:20,002 --> 00:24:21,128
但我沒有

541
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:26,258
所以,當路易斯回到我們的生活中

542
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:30,137
他就像是活生生地在提醒我

543
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:37,186
在妳最需要我的時候
我是怎樣讓妳失望透頂的

544
00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:39,812
跟妳說,妳媽跟我以前常常說

545
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:41,982
妳是我們這輩子中最棒的事物

546
00:24:43,567 --> 00:24:44,693
天啊,是真的

547
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:47,321
她還逼我保證說我不會搞砸

548
00:24:49,198 --> 00:24:50,741
而我卻搞砸了

549
00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:53,160
我搞砸了

550
00:24:57,372 --> 00:24:58,873
艾莉絲,妳就是妳

551
00:24:58,874 --> 00:25:01,293
一個很棒的女性

552
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:04,588
儘管我這麼爛

553
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:06,672
而我一直很在意這一點

554
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:09,343
我一直都很在意自己是個很爛的父親

555
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:14,681
我真的很對不起

556
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,977
我真的非常非常地對不起...

557
00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:23,982
我沒有做得更好

558
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:30,030
你說得對,你的確搞砸了

559
00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:35,244
爸,可是你忽略很多美好的事情

560
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,079
還有好多回憶

561
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:42,041
我們一起去的旅行
我騎在你肩膀上的時候

562
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:44,461
你還跟我一起爬樹,然後摔到腦震盪

563
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:46,504
你教我溜滑板

564
00:25:46,505 --> 00:25:48,005
也摔到腦震盪

565
00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:51,050
嘿,你教我說西班牙語,因為媽沒辦法

566
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:53,719
她很有語言天分,但她就是對我沒耐心

567
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,808
你會跟我一起坐在這裡好幾個小時
而且你從來都不覺得煩

568
00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:03,438
我是...一根茄子,爸爸

569
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:06,732
妳剛剛說的是“我是一根茄子”

570
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:09,069
我可沒說我的程度有變好

571
00:26:10,863 --> 00:26:14,616
跟你說,在媽去世之後,在最難過的時刻

572
00:26:16,451 --> 00:26:21,581
有一天晚上,我在練習之後覺得好累

573
00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:23,792
就在沙發上昏睡不醒

574
00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:29,506
到了早上,我在自己房間裡醒來

575
00:26:31,175 --> 00:26:35,596
就算你在最低潮的時候
還是把我搬上樓了

576
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,932
那樣讓我知道你還是原來的你

577
00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:43,478
所以,是啊,也許你當了一陣子的爛老爸

578
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:49,568
可是,嘿,你也是世上最棒的老爸

579
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:53,322
我好幸運你是我的老爸

580
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,200
我的孩子,我愛妳

581
00:26:58,327 --> 00:26:59,328
來抱抱

582
00:27:02,915 --> 00:27:05,041
你剛剛是用西班牙語說了什麼好話嗎?

583
00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:07,126
因為我應該表達得很清楚
我一點也聽不懂

584
00:27:07,127 --> 00:27:08,961
我知道,我做了個詭異的選擇

585
00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:10,047
對

586
00:27:12,174 --> 00:27:15,886
我才不要他媽的遲到
給我在五分鐘內準備好

587
00:27:19,348 --> 00:27:20,516
威爾,親愛的

588
00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:22,141
媽,什麼事?

589
00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:24,977
你覺得感恩節這樣穿適當嗎?

590
00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:25,978
這樣穿有什麼問題?

591
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:27,605
你穿破洞牛仔褲

592
00:27:27,606 --> 00:27:29,941
還反戴上面印著“渣男”的棒球帽

593
00:27:29,942 --> 00:27:31,526
她說得對,去換褲子

594
00:27:31,527 --> 00:27:32,735
然後把我的帽子放回去

595
00:27:32,736 --> 00:27:34,446
- 好啦
- 老天爺啊

596
00:27:35,531 --> 00:27:37,782
- 嘿...兩位
- 嗨

597
00:27:37,783 --> 00:27:39,617
- 嗨
- 我們何德何能

598
00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:41,244
能迎來如此意外的榮幸啊?

599
00:27:41,245 --> 00:27:46,207
莉茲,結果凱莉沒辦法當我們全職的保母

600
00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:47,458
不會吧

601
00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:49,210
這樣聽起來也許很扯

602
00:27:49,211 --> 00:27:53,715
但妳願不願意考慮一下
一週來幫我們兩天?

603
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,555
- 是他要你們這麼做的?
- 可惡

604
00:28:00,556 --> 00:28:01,889
- 沒有
- 他是有提起

605
00:28:01,890 --> 00:28:03,182
對

606
00:28:03,183 --> 00:28:04,517
但我們不讓他付錢給我們

607
00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:06,143
- 寶貝
- 還是其實妳想付錢?

608
00:28:06,144 --> 00:28:09,106
- 兄弟,你要我死嗎?
- 老天爺啊

609
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:14,360
我從來就不明白妳為何因為
身為“全職媽媽”而看輕自己

610
00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:18,991
對,妳是個很棒的攝影師
還是世界上唯一的翻石人

611
00:28:20,659 --> 00:28:23,704
但妳熱愛養育小孩

612
00:28:24,621 --> 00:28:26,832
妳一直在找的人生目標

613
00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:29,251
就是這個

614
00:28:32,588 --> 00:28:33,839
這是妳的天賦

615
00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:41,762
我做

616
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:43,098
- 太好了
- 好耶

617
00:28:44,766 --> 00:28:46,017
謝謝

618
00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:48,519
另外一位保母要歸我管

619
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,062
- 我們已經跟她說了
- 好

620
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,439
小壞蛋們,大家好嗎?

621
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,193
珊莫,我要有寶寶了

622
00:28:54,902 --> 00:28:56,527
恭喜啊

623
00:28:56,528 --> 00:28:58,530
我才逃過一劫

624
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,325
天啊

625
00:29:03,243 --> 00:29:05,995
- 我跟他談過了,真的,我把保險套...
- 你顯然沒跟他聊過

626
00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:08,206
- 放滿房間每個角落
- 你得弄一整盒來放在...

627
00:29:08,207 --> 00:29:12,419
好,我們要直接去買漢堡
還是你要先去領你的山羊?

628
00:29:13,587 --> 00:29:14,588
好啦

629
00:29:15,923 --> 00:29:17,840
真是度過感恩節的完美方式

630
00:29:17,841 --> 00:29:21,220
吃漢堡,看洛杉磯公羊隊比賽

631
00:29:24,806 --> 00:29:26,767
等等,這不是去漢堡店的路

632
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,479
妳為何打扮了?我又被綁架了嗎?

633
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,233
少來,若我們錯過
小加家的派對,你會很難過

634
00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:35,942
就幾個小時

635
00:29:35,943 --> 00:29:39,613
然後...我帶了你的藥
免得你想在晚餐前再吃一次

636
00:29:40,364 --> 00:29:43,241
可是妳看,我根本沒穿適當的衣服

637
00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:44,535
你的西裝外套在後車廂

638
00:29:47,204 --> 00:29:49,247
救命啊,我被綁架了

639
00:29:49,248 --> 00:29:51,374
- 老天啊,你冷靜好嗎?
- 誰來救救我?

640
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:52,459
天啊

641
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,503
史上最爛感恩節

642
00:29:59,591 --> 00:30:02,176
- 嘿,誰會偷吃豆子啊?
- 我啊

643
00:30:02,177 --> 00:30:05,137
- 我的天啊,火雞看起來讚爆了
- 謝謝

644
00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:06,597
- 真他媽的
- 我把雞綁起來、刷油

645
00:30:06,598 --> 00:30:08,641
- 然後裹上橙香醬
- 小妞,好耶

646
00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:09,934
好,太多行話了

647
00:30:09,935 --> 00:30:12,979
妳要看著我的眼睛
跟我說妳真的做了這些嗎?

648
00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,189
你給我閉上嘴
不然我就拿橙香醬裹你的屁股

649
00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:16,357
我知道這樣聽起來很性感

650
00:30:16,358 --> 00:30:17,817
- 但沒有
- 懂了

651
00:30:17,818 --> 00:30:19,902
好,老德,你想來切雞嗎?因為我不會切

652
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:21,113
好的,女士

653
00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:23,489
老德要大展身手囉

654
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,116
- 小心,小姐們,我要來了
- 天啊

655
00:30:25,117 --> 00:30:26,577
- 來吧,開始囉
- 好

656
00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:29,203
- 外套,脫掉
- 什麼?

657
00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:32,165
好,我不知道自己在幹嘛
但我知道不用這麼麻煩

658
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:36,460
這隻雞看起來得逆來順受了

659
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:37,379
天啊

660
00:30:44,595 --> 00:30:46,762
- 這顆好棒喔
- 對

661
00:30:46,763 --> 00:30:48,681
所以現在我們全都加入石頭同盟了

662
00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:49,766
有祕密握手儀式嗎?

663
00:30:50,475 --> 00:30:51,475
被他毀了啦

664
00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:53,436
給他一套祕密握手儀式吧

665
00:30:53,437 --> 00:30:55,355
來吧,就這樣,然後加上彈指

666
00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:57,481
真討厭

667
00:30:57,482 --> 00:30:58,733
好,冷靜,莉茲

668
00:30:58,734 --> 00:31:00,526
- 嘿,茱莉
- 嗨,親愛的

669
00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:01,653
嗨,保羅

670
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:03,988
我是被逼來的

671
00:31:03,989 --> 00:31:07,033
不要那樣說了啦,你有穿著運動褲啊

672
00:31:07,034 --> 00:31:09,368
沒有人在看的時候,你還是可以抓蛋蛋

673
00:31:09,369 --> 00:31:11,495
我才不管有沒有人在看

674
00:31:11,496 --> 00:31:13,664
還有你這個背叛者

675
00:31:13,665 --> 00:31:16,667
你早知道她要綁架我,卻什麼也沒說?

676
00:31:16,668 --> 00:31:19,921
嘿,夥伴,如果你沒來
我就根本沒受邀耶

677
00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:21,632
別用那隻手碰起士

678
00:31:22,591 --> 00:31:23,966
好,各位

679
00:31:23,967 --> 00:31:26,969
在我們開始吃自助餐之前
我想要很快地宣布一件事

680
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,012
莉茲,什麼事?

681
00:31:28,013 --> 00:31:30,806
為何愛莉亞會跟妳一起在廚房裡?

682
00:31:30,807 --> 00:31:32,267
妳沒事的,好嗎?

683
00:31:32,851 --> 00:31:36,896
感恩節快樂
這個佳節的重點就是大家在一起

684
00:31:36,897 --> 00:31:38,272
- 不要
- 好喔

685
00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:40,399
所以,我要你們這些小朋友都把手機

686
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:41,817
放進這該死的籃子,好嗎?

687
00:31:41,818 --> 00:31:43,694
- 嘿,你是馬修吧?
- 對

688
00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:45,613
- 你幾歲了?
- 23歲

689
00:31:45,614 --> 00:31:47,365
- 24了
- 24歲

690
00:31:47,366 --> 00:31:48,574
真他媽的

691
00:31:48,575 --> 00:31:50,117
聰明的歸我了

692
00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:52,620
哇,好,我要你把手機放進來

693
00:31:52,621 --> 00:31:53,829
抓到了

694
00:31:53,830 --> 00:31:55,206
- 嘿,布萊恩
- 幹嘛?

695
00:31:55,207 --> 00:31:57,333
都說過了,恐怕你得把手機交出來

696
00:31:57,334 --> 00:31:58,668
- 什麼?
- 對

697
00:31:58,669 --> 00:32:00,461
不要,太荒唐了

698
00:32:00,462 --> 00:32:02,421
你們都這麼看不起我嗎?

699
00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:03,965
他媽的照做啦

700
00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:05,716
- 你上居家賣場幹嘛?
- 對啊,我想買

701
00:32:05,717 --> 00:32:07,051
妳那個可愛的坐墊

702
00:32:07,052 --> 00:32:09,345
- 謝謝,把手機放進來
- 好啦,抱歉

703
00:32:09,346 --> 00:32:11,389
好,開動吧,保羅,你想宣布開動嗎?

704
00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:13,182
就他媽的開吃吧

705
00:32:13,183 --> 00:32:15,726
- 太好了,很棒
- 好,來吧

706
00:32:15,727 --> 00:32:17,562
- 我們在甜點時間能獨處
- 我知道,可是...

707
00:32:17,563 --> 00:32:19,897
- 我們應該吃點派,好
- 好,我保證

708
00:32:19,898 --> 00:32:20,983
嘿

709
00:32:22,818 --> 00:32:24,861
- 給妳,我沒有舔這顆
- 謝謝,我不想要

710
00:32:24,862 --> 00:32:26,529
- 不要,好,謝謝
- 謝謝

711
00:32:26,530 --> 00:32:27,446
(火雞日快樂)

712
00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:28,614
(妳也是,我很期待,這是火雞嗎?)

713
00:32:28,615 --> 00:32:29,532
(很接近了)

714
00:32:29,533 --> 00:32:31,117
- 嘿,輪到妳了,來吧
- 等一下

715
00:32:31,118 --> 00:32:33,412
- 好了,愛妳
- 謝謝,我愛妳

716
00:32:37,082 --> 00:32:38,834
- 嘿,可以給我那個嗎?
- 好

717
00:32:39,376 --> 00:32:40,377
謝了

718
00:32:41,879 --> 00:32:43,588
他今天幹嘛逼我們營業啊?

719
00:32:43,589 --> 00:32:47,384
我們只有一組客人
他們訂了50個火雞三明治

720
00:32:48,093 --> 00:32:49,094
是啊,對吧?

721
00:32:52,514 --> 00:32:54,849
你要我等一下幾點過去?

722
00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:57,852
因為那個甜點需要精準的料理時間

723
00:32:57,853 --> 00:33:00,189
只要超過一分鐘,就會變成磚塊

724
00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:02,858
對,關於這個...

725
00:33:04,902 --> 00:33:06,027
幹

726
00:33:06,028 --> 00:33:08,989
那個,我跟幾個朋友說你要來,然後...

727
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,786
你從沒跟我說過你酒駕撞死人

728
00:33:16,580 --> 00:33:22,044
所以現在我覺得你在場可能會有點奇怪

729
00:33:23,587 --> 00:33:25,380
沒關係

730
00:33:30,260 --> 00:33:31,511
抱歉,兄弟

731
00:33:31,512 --> 00:33:32,596
別放在心上

732
00:33:33,597 --> 00:33:34,598
我明白

733
00:33:36,850 --> 00:33:38,143
可惡,兄弟

734
00:33:40,229 --> 00:33:41,229
嘿,路易斯,我...

735
00:33:41,230 --> 00:33:43,106
不如你先走,然後我...

736
00:33:43,607 --> 00:33:44,608
我來鎖門

737
00:33:46,109 --> 00:33:47,110
好吧

738
00:33:55,744 --> 00:33:56,745
嘿

739
00:34:00,582 --> 00:34:01,875
感恩節快樂,兄弟

740
00:34:04,169 --> 00:34:05,212
你也是

741
00:34:19,685 --> 00:34:21,311
敬主廚

742
00:34:23,938 --> 00:34:25,064
敬尚恩

743
00:34:25,065 --> 00:34:26,189
- 我就知道
- 對

744
00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:27,109
不要

745
00:34:27,609 --> 00:34:30,945
好,我媽今天不能來

746
00:34:30,946 --> 00:34:34,240
但我要繼續她極為喜歡的一項傳統

747
00:34:34,241 --> 00:34:37,828
好,我們就讓房間裡的每個人都說說
自己覺得感恩的事

748
00:34:39,371 --> 00:34:40,620
誰想先說?

749
00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:45,084
首先,我想說我有多感恩
可以歡迎荷黑來我們家

750
00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:46,920
不過,媽,妳得冷靜下來

751
00:34:47,504 --> 00:34:49,088
可是你看他多可愛啊

752
00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:50,424
這我也沒辦法控制,兄弟

753
00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:52,926
不過最重要的是

754
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,847
我想說我們又能團圓,我有多感恩

755
00:34:58,098 --> 00:34:59,683
對我來說意義重大

756
00:35:02,936 --> 00:35:03,937
我也愛你,爸

757
00:35:04,438 --> 00:35:05,981
我很感恩我的家人

758
00:35:07,524 --> 00:35:08,525
我也是

759
00:35:10,235 --> 00:35:11,444
就是你們所有人

760
00:35:11,445 --> 00:35:13,197
我感恩我老公

761
00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:16,574
我感恩我老婆

762
00:35:16,575 --> 00:35:17,491
什麼啊?

763
00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:18,535
- 真的嗎?
- 什麼啦?

764
00:35:19,578 --> 00:35:20,913
- 搞啥啊?
- 好啦

765
00:35:21,496 --> 00:35:23,206
- 還有我們的兒子們
- 對

766
00:35:23,207 --> 00:35:27,252
老實說,被算在內我就很感恩了

767
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:29,629
她搶了我的哏

768
00:35:29,630 --> 00:35:32,549
不過是真的,我很感恩被算在內

769
00:35:33,383 --> 00:35:34,885
我感恩我姊姊

770
00:35:37,054 --> 00:35:38,764
我感恩我帥氣的新室友

771
00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:44,478
我感恩下個感恩節我們就都當爸爸了

772
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,481
我感恩...

773
00:35:48,774 --> 00:35:50,442
保羅啃完那隻火雞腿了

774
00:35:52,361 --> 00:35:55,739
我感恩我能待在這裡
而不用去那該死的莫倫戈

775
00:36:00,369 --> 00:36:01,370
好

776
00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:03,829
應該是輪到我了

777
00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:05,207
輪到妳幹嘛?

778
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,669
嘿,抱歉我遲到了

779
00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:13,047
沒關係,我正在想我要感恩什麼

780
00:36:13,048 --> 00:36:14,132
妳會想出來的

781
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:17,301
我知道妳說過大家都得帶點東西來

782
00:36:17,302 --> 00:36:18,678
我帶了妳媽來

783
00:36:18,679 --> 00:36:20,513
- 靠,嘿,她不是我媽
- 天啊

784
00:36:20,514 --> 00:36:22,682
- 不是
- 你從路上隨便抓個太太來嗎?

785
00:36:22,683 --> 00:36:24,768
不,我沒有隨便抓個太太
這位是我阿姨啦

786
00:36:25,352 --> 00:36:26,519
- 天啊
- 好喔,媽的

787
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,604
那位才是妳媽

788
00:36:28,522 --> 00:36:29,523
我帶了派過來

789
00:36:33,652 --> 00:36:34,652
真是太感人了

790
00:36:34,653 --> 00:36:35,820
哪種派?

791
00:36:35,821 --> 00:36:37,071
蘋果派

792
00:36:37,072 --> 00:36:38,991
- 哪種蘋果?
- 老公

793
00:37:03,182 --> 00:37:04,641
乘客們請注意

794
00:37:05,392 --> 00:37:08,228
下一班開往聯合車站的列車即將進站

795
00:37:08,729 --> 00:37:12,648
在火車完全停止前,請務必站在黃線後

796
00:37:12,649 --> 00:37:13,775
謝謝

797
00:37:14,276 --> 00:37:16,527
(嘿,我在車站,妳在嗎?)

798
00:37:16,528 --> 00:37:19,239
(我現在很需要朋友)

799
00:37:25,871 --> 00:37:28,414
- 嘿,等等,我要妳吃吃看這個
- 我的天啊

800
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:30,375
好好吃

801
00:37:31,460 --> 00:37:32,794
- 不錯喔
- 我努力

802
00:37:33,837 --> 00:37:35,047
我還沒說

803
00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:38,800
我還沒說耶

804
00:37:39,843 --> 00:37:40,969
嘿,我還沒說啦

805
00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:45,974
多數人都知道我是被綁架來的

806
00:37:47,392 --> 00:37:50,061
我不太喜歡當主角

807
00:37:50,062 --> 00:37:51,938
- 才怪
- 最好是

808
00:37:51,939 --> 00:37:53,649
那是我控制不住的時候

809
00:37:54,816 --> 00:37:58,487
就像我今天會來,不是我能控制的

810
00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:01,615
我也控制不住這個

811
00:38:02,491 --> 00:38:04,868
我沒有吃藥,因為我...

812
00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:09,081
我想要留到真正需要的時候再吃

813
00:38:10,707 --> 00:38:12,125
不是為了在你們面前隱藏症狀

814
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,088
有時候很難不去自憐自艾

815
00:38:17,172 --> 00:38:20,300
就是可憐的我,還有我那...

816
00:38:22,261 --> 00:38:24,388
風中殘燭的脆弱身體

817
00:38:26,181 --> 00:38:32,271
不過當我環視這房間,然後...

818
00:38:36,358 --> 00:38:39,027
然後我對我自己說...

819
00:38:42,906 --> 00:38:43,907
“幸運的傢伙

820
00:38:46,368 --> 00:38:47,411
我是個幸運的傢伙”

821
00:38:51,456 --> 00:38:55,836
我不知道還剩多久時間能...

822
00:38:58,046 --> 00:39:02,968
跟你們共事、一起混、一起笑

823
00:39:05,512 --> 00:39:09,765
往後將會越來越辛苦

824
00:39:09,766 --> 00:39:11,810
但我知道我會克服的

825
00:39:13,729 --> 00:39:16,815
因為有在這房間裡的大家

826
00:39:21,695 --> 00:39:24,698
我覺得這就是我最感恩的事

827
00:39:25,908 --> 00:39:27,659
因為只要有能依靠的人...

828
00:39:30,454 --> 00:39:33,624
我們就能克服一切

829
00:39:35,209 --> 00:39:38,504
我會依靠你們大家...

830
00:39:57,814 --> 00:39:58,899
好

831
00:40:03,737 --> 00:40:04,780
換邊

832
00:40:06,615 --> 00:40:07,824
我愛妳

833
00:40:26,802 --> 00:40:28,637
保羅,我要你見見我的兒子們

834
00:40:42,818 --> 00:40:45,529
好...

835
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:52,159
謝謝

836
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,495
好,當然啊

837
00:41:21,273 --> 00:41:22,357
嘿,兄弟

838
00:41:28,655 --> 00:41:32,117
結果我女兒比我想像中更離不開她的手機

839
00:41:32,618 --> 00:41:34,703
手機都放在籃子裡,說來話長

840
00:41:37,539 --> 00:41:38,707
你怎麼會來?

841
00:41:41,752 --> 00:41:44,421
我想我是為了她來的吧,為了艾莉絲

842
00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:51,303
可能也是為了媞亞來的

843
00:42:02,564 --> 00:42:04,233
但主要是為了我自己來的

844
00:42:33,679 --> 00:42:35,681
這幾年真是爛,對吧?

845
00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:45,649
對啊

846
00:42:51,363 --> 00:42:53,240
那她呢?她有什麼故事?

847
00:42:58,453 --> 00:43:00,121
她顯然是個學校老師

848
00:43:00,122 --> 00:43:03,624
她剛剛發現自己忘了一件很重要的事

849
00:43:03,625 --> 00:43:06,461
大考日,沒有二號鉛筆

850
00:43:07,045 --> 00:43:09,548
- 真是太慘了
- 這種事不是第一次了

851
00:43:10,299 --> 00:43:12,675
那麼這個人呢?他是個憂鬱的搖滾明星

852
00:43:12,676 --> 00:43:15,596
不對,我認得那個人,他是個殺手

853
00:43:36,033 --> 00:43:38,409
(若您或您認識的人需要協助)

854
00:43:38,410 --> 00:43:40,829
(請洽網站apple.com/heretohelp)

855
00:44:25,999 --> 00:44:28,001
字幕翻譯:徐懿芬