1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:02,640 (LAUGHTER) 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,360 My parents do cheer for me a lot. 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,680 OK. Come on. 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,040 Hard work is paramount in this family. 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,160 Push, push. 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,160 The boss in the house is mummy and daddy, 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,280 mostly mum, though. 8 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,440 Try to keep in a line, boys. 9 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,040 We always try to serve our kids and when you serve someone, 10 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,200 you see them in a higher light. 11 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:27,160 I think I wanna be like my mum 'cause she is like an influencer 12 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,360 and like, she is really rich. 13 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,760 Oh, my god. (LAUGHS) 14 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,280 It's about arming our children with tools 15 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,480 to make good decisions in life. 16 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,200 Don't do that. No, no. 17 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,960 Ah, ah. Hey, hey, hey. 18 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,640 ALLY (VOICEOVER): Parenting has never been harder. 19 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:42,800 What is it that...no. 20 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,000 (CHILD CRIES) 21 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,960 The temptations are stronger. 22 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,560 Can I have four flavours? 23 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,800 The pressures are bigger. 24 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,000 You're not listening to me. 25 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,240 I am! 26 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,760 Finger off the trigger until you're ready, mate. 27 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,840 So, what really works? 28 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,960 Hang on, hang on. We need to go to the video ref. 29 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,720 Welcome to the Avengers of parenting. 30 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,640 We are looking for Australia's best parenting style. 31 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,360 She's up to 500,000 followers. 32 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,600 Taking 12 very different sets of parents. 33 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,720 What's a good smack? 34 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,120 One that you can hear and feel. 35 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,480 And giving them the toughest challenges yet. 36 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,680 Smoke upstairs. We've lost Jude. 37 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,400 Are you looking for your mum? 38 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:25,840 Yeah. 39 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,400 Oh, no! (SCREAMS) 40 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,800 That's not OK. 41 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,160 Returning to help steer them through the parenting storm 42 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,840 is family expert, Dr Justin Coulson. 43 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,720 Your courage in facing the tough questions... 44 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,320 What's this called on your body? 45 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,360 (LAUGHTER) 46 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,560 ..it will help all of us do a better job raising our kids. 47 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,200 Winning! 48 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,960 Tonight... Lightsaber! 49 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,280 ..the first four sets of parents... 50 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,760 Could you kiss each other? 51 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,160 ..come into focus... Yucky. 52 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,080 Our parenting style is outback. 53 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,280 ..and confront the most explosive issue... 54 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,280 This platform, offenders have used it to groom kids online. 55 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,840 ..in the digital age. 56 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,440 Talking about this is difficult, 57 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,320 but not talking about it is actually dangerous. 58 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,240 She's just revealed her street address. 59 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,960 Oh. 60 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,640 She's a little girl who just wants to play a game. 61 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,200 (CRIES) May I just have a minute? 62 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,400 You can. Yeah, yeah. 63 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,040 (CRIES) 64 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:38,640 # You, you are my universe... # 65 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,840 Hey, Justin, can you complete this sentence for me? 66 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,160 Parenting is like... 67 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,240 Oh, I like this. 68 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,960 Uh, parenting is like roller skating in a sand pit. 69 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,920 Mmm. What about you? 70 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,240 It's like treading water, 71 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,400 wearing UGG boots while juggling cats. 72 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,520 (LAUGHS) 73 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,480 That's so good. 74 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,360 We should tell our parents that's their first challenge. 75 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,080 Parents, so nice to see you. Welcome. 76 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,080 Make yourself comfortable in the hot seat. 77 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,240 OK! 78 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,640 Focus parents, welcome. 79 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:14,840 Hi. How are we feeling? 80 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:15,960 Good. 81 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,040 Tency and David are outback parents. 82 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,440 Hi. 83 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,600 And Sammy and Jason, nice to see you both. 84 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,480 Hello, parents. Come on in. Take a seat. 85 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,320 Make yourself at home. 86 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,040 We're excited for what this is gonna teach us 87 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,760 about parenting. 88 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,880 Me too. 89 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,800 (LAUGHTER) 90 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,920 Welcome to the Logies of parenting. 91 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,280 (LAUGHTER) 92 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,680 And like they say, right? 93 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:54,080 It's an honour just to be nominated, which is why you are all here today. 94 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,200 We've scoured the country for 12 great parenting styles, 95 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:02,280 courageous enough to have their style tried, tested, 96 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,440 and reviewed. 97 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,560 And it's all to find out which way works best. 98 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,080 To help us out, parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson, 99 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,320 father of six beautiful daughters, 100 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,560 will be getting to know 101 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:22,200 each of your parenting styles in detail. 102 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,120 Each time we meet, four sets of parents 103 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,840 will be in the spotlight. 104 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,000 You are our focus parents. 105 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,440 Does it feel a little warm in those seats? 106 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,640 Get a little hot? 107 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,200 Yup. 108 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,720 And don't worry, everyone will get their turn 109 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,240 as focus parents. 110 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,960 So, three rounds of challenges. 111 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,920 On the other side of the room we have our panel parents. 112 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,480 Focus parents, let's get to know your parenting styles. 113 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,680 Tency and David, how do you crack the whip? 114 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,440 Uh, we're the outback family, 115 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,560 so we're all about respect and freedom. 116 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,280 Smile. 117 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,600 (CAMERA SHUTTERS) 118 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,800 Being outback parents, the kids get to learn 119 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,400 so many life skills that other people just never learn. 120 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,840 (ENGINE REVS) 121 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,600 I think he's gonna do doughnuts on the bloody gravel. 122 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,720 They work on bikes, they work on cars, they ride horses, 123 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,800 ride cows. 124 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,080 Go, Matey. Oh, oh, the fence! 125 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,200 (LAUGHTER) 126 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,840 Growing up on the farm, our kids learn respect, 127 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,480 they learn honesty, common sense, 128 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,440 but we definitely give a little bit of tough love as well. 129 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,520 Oh! Oh! 130 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,040 (LAUGHS) 131 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,400 You're alright, buddy. 132 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,840 (LAUGHS) 133 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,080 But we'll build them up to be tough in life. 134 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,960 He's standing up pretty good, though. 135 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,360 Larissa and Marcus, tell us how you parent. 136 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,360 Our parenting style is gentle parenting. 137 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,840 And gentle parenting is all about being calm and patient 138 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,480 and respectful of our children and of their emotions. 139 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,920 Daddy and Caleb, can you get... 140 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,600 (CAMERA SHUTTERS) 141 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,600 Gentle Parenting is about letting children be children 142 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,360 and respecting them as people. 143 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,200 Go! (KIDS YELLING) 144 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,280 We allow them to express their opinions 145 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,560 just like we express ours. 146 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,400 No, you aren't allowed to put. 147 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:21,640 Not in there! 148 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,040 We are Christians and we see god 149 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,760 as gentle and patient and kind. 150 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,920 That's the type of people we want them to be. 151 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,680 So, we are modelling that in how we parent. 152 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,120 Seanna, would you like a hug? 153 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,000 Mwah. Good night. 154 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,480 Sammy and Jason, tell us how you parent. 155 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,720 So, we are lighthouse parents. 156 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,640 And that just allows our kids to set sail on their own, 157 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,520 but we are definitely there to support them 158 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,760 if the seas get rough. 159 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,680 Big smile, mate. Jude, smile a bit. 160 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,880 Yay! 161 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,080 (CAMERA SHUTTERS) 162 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,120 Lighthouse parenting is about arming our children 163 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,400 with tools to make good decisions in life 164 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,160 when we are not able to be there. 165 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,800 I'm off to school now, mummy. 166 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:08,960 Have a good day. 167 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,640 We are much like a lighthouse. 168 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,200 We observe from a distance, but ultimately, 169 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,600 if they ever do get into trouble, they can come to us 170 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,680 and then we can help them. 171 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,800 (SCREAMS) 172 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,560 Kids are having a ball. 173 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,640 That's me. That's you. Those are the treats. 174 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,720 Oh, yeah. 175 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,400 We allow our kids to test those boundaries, 176 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,680 push those boundaries and discover their own limits 177 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,720 and fail if they need to. 178 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,840 With a lighthouse parenting approach, 179 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800 we can raise these children to be confident, 180 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,320 strong-willed, happy adults. 181 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,240 Kat, can you tell us a little bit about 182 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,640 your parenting style? 183 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,960 My parenting style is to be an honest parent. 184 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,160 Preparing your children for the real world 185 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,280 that's ahead of them. 186 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,920 No frills, no fluff, 187 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,800 just real straight down the line parenting. 188 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,640 OK, one for the fridge. Silly one. 189 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,080 (CAMERA SHUTTERS) 190 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,800 Honest parenting is not holding back. 191 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,520 I'm very brutally honest. 192 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,720 Do you need spring onion? 193 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,560 Uh, yes, we definitely need spring onion for curry. 194 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,280 I need everything green pretty much that's in there. 195 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,840 It can be confronting to the kids at times. 196 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,200 Not lettuce for a curry, mate. 197 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,560 Oh, it's green. 198 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,280 But I think there's no point in sugar-coating life 199 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,200 because life is not gonna be sugar-coated for you. 200 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,480 Go! Oh, no! 201 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,840 (LAUGHS) 202 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,840 At the end of the day, I wanna raise a warrior and a Batman 203 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,440 rather than a fluffy little princess. 204 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,160 That was your fault because it was a bad sign. 205 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,560 No, you missed it, man. 206 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,000 Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. 207 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,560 Well, very different sets of parents 208 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,680 and parenting styles. 209 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,320 So, tonight, you are in the hot seat. 210 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,360 We're going to look at your parenting challenges first. 211 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,480 Good luck, guys. 212 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,720 (LAUGHTER) 213 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:04,280 Panel parents, as you assess these challenges, 214 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:08,840 you need to be asking yourself, which parenting style works best? 215 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,080 Consider whose parenting style 216 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,560 is growing kids that are healthiest and happiest. 217 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,600 Which style is best setting them up for life 218 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,720 and who's creating the closest family bonds? 219 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,680 Once we've seen our focused parents 220 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,080 go through their challenges, you'll be voting 221 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,680 for just one set of parents to go through 222 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,120 to the final family challenge. 223 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,440 Parenting is hard and it's not getting any easier. 224 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:42,160 We're diving into taboo topics and testing hard situations 225 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,840 for the benefit of all Australian families. 226 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,440 Ready for the first challenge? 227 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,200 We want to see how you handle one of the toughest challenges 228 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,240 known to parents, the family photo shoots. 229 00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,600 Oh, gosh. 230 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,880 (LAUGHTER) 231 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,080 We asked you to get your family dressed up 232 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,280 then we sent you to a very distracting location 233 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:12,560 to see if you could all pose for the perfect family pic. 234 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,640 The family photo shoot is all about connection under pressure. 235 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:25,280 We want to see how you keep everyone calm and cheerful 236 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,920 and looking in the same direction. 237 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,600 (LAUGHS) Say cheers, guys. 238 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,640 ('SUNSHINE' BY ONEREPUBLIC PLAYS) 239 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,600 Billie and Jesse! 240 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,800 Yeah. Yeah. 241 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,320 Sit down. This is a goodie. 242 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,800 Oh, that's excellent. 243 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,240 For a successful family photo shoot, 244 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,360 we need to see cooperation and patience 245 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,360 in a high pressure situation as well as a great family photo. 246 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,560 Hello. I am Eva. Nice to meet you. 247 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,760 Nice to meet you too. 248 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,400 As outback parents, 249 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,800 we don't really do family photo sessions. 250 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,160 And mum and dad in the middle, try to face into each other. 251 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,280 Hug each other. 252 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,760 And boys, just next to your mum and dad. 253 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,760 So, we didn't really have any idea what to expect. 254 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,080 Could you kiss each other? 255 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,400 Yucky. 256 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,960 Yeah, it was a bit awkward. 257 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,720 (LAUGHTER) 258 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,240 You need to listen. Look at the camera again. 259 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,400 Yeah, bud, here. 260 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,480 OK. Can you smile to each other? Just smile to each other. 261 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,560 This way. 262 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,920 To each other's life, the people in your family. 263 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,040 As an outback parent, flat out in public, 264 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,640 I like to just gently bump them into line just to... 265 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,680 just to keep 'em sort of in that sensible path. 266 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,040 Can you be normal and do what you've been asked to do? 267 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,440 Because it'd be much better. 268 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,080 Obviously, they're kids. 269 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:03,400 They're gonna get a bit bored, but we don't want them to be rude 270 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,280 and they need to learn patience in life. 271 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,480 One more. 272 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,680 Spider on your head, Clancy. 273 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,200 (LAUGHTER) 274 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,720 Beautiful. 275 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:13,920 (LAUGHTER) 276 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,760 Hey, I just wanted to say, Tency and David, 277 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,400 it's easy to see that 278 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,880 the boys have such a lot of respect for you two as parents 279 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,040 and just the way that you spoke to Wyatt. 280 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,200 You just had a gentle, 281 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,600 "Hey mate, you know, it's time to behave now." 282 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,840 And I'm sure that he's obviously experienced you 283 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,480 when it's been mate 284 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,400 and he knows where it's gonna go from there. 285 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,160 So, there's no real need to do that all the time. 286 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,800 That actually comes from an old fellow 287 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,160 that teaches me with horses. 288 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,240 Yeah. 289 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,680 And one of his favourite things 290 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,640 is if you...if you need a gram, use a gram. 291 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,480 If you need a tonne, use a tonne. 292 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,240 If you don't need to use much to get something done, 293 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,320 you don't need to use much. 294 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,320 That's very powerful there. Yeah, that is so powerful. 295 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,920 There's a term called the minimal sufficiency paradigm, 296 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,640 which is precisely what that is. 297 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,960 You do what's enough and no more. 298 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,920 You only pull out the big guns when you really need to. 299 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,000 Minimal sufficiency, get the job done, move on. 300 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,880 Shall we have a look at the other photo shoots? 301 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:13,960 Let's. 302 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,240 This must be the photographer. 303 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,640 I think she looks like a good photo photographer. 304 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,480 (LAUGHS) Thank you very much. 305 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,160 With lighthouse parenting, 306 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,280 I think the approach to the photo shoot 307 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,920 is, uh, to let everyone kind of have their own 308 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,520 freedom in their own space. 309 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,640 What are you doing, Pepper? 310 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,120 I can't find a stick. 311 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,480 Getting a family photo. What do we need sticks for? 312 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,800 Because I wanna shoot a flaming pistol. 313 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,840 (LAUGHTER) 314 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,200 Lightsaber! 315 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,480 That just looks like a tennis racket. 316 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,720 (LAUGHTER) 317 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,360 Good job. 318 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,200 We have a lot of chaos in our household 319 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,240 and I think that we give our kids the flexibility 320 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,280 to run amok and to come back and for us to come together 321 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,280 and finally get something that we get to show from it. 322 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,520 What about tree climbing? 323 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,560 Jude, Rory, come and climb the tree. 324 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,440 Climb the tree. Yeah. 325 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,960 It summed us up as a family when we went away from the normality 326 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,760 of trying to take a stand family photo 327 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,160 to...to climbing trees. 328 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,840 Who's got the best smiles? Lottie, good job. 329 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,040 Family photos. 330 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,280 We haven't had them for a bit. 331 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,680 Did you have anything in mind that you were really wanting 332 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,120 to...to kind of get or... 333 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,160 As long as we get a photo of the six of us together. 334 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,400 Mm-hm. Yeah. 335 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,560 As gentle parents, 336 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,720 we try to practice a lot of patience. 337 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,680 Sometimes photo shoots can take longer 338 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,000 than perhaps they would if we pushed our kids. 339 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,520 (SEANNA CRIES) 340 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,480 Oh, Seanna's got something in her eye. 341 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,320 Did something hit your eye? 342 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,440 No, that's OK. 343 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,120 You have a cuddle and I'll hold you while you need to. 344 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,160 OK? 345 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,560 Oh, baby. 346 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,560 First of all, we're just gonna try and get 347 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,840 a picture of you and Amos and Levi in the boat together. 348 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,080 Oh, dear. 349 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,200 Levi, can you come up here with us? 350 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,120 No. Can you tell me why? 351 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,800 I...I just don't quite understand what's going on. 352 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,920 I feel scared. 353 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,240 You're... Scared? 354 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,880 I don't know that you are. 355 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,440 I am. OK. 356 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,720 Do you wanna stand next to mama instead? 357 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,000 No. No? 358 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,400 No, no, no. 359 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,120 It's not time for rolling down the hill again. 360 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,800 This is horrible. 361 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,520 Oh, dear. 362 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,960 I'm just gonna come sit with you, OK? 363 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,520 Ah, ah. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. 364 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,640 What is it? What is it? No, no, we are not gonna be hitting. 365 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,880 Who tells the funniest jokes? Caleb. 366 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,480 Caleb, can you tell us a funny joke? 367 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,160 No. No. 368 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,760 (LAUGHS) 369 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,280 Alright, now that's good. 370 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,360 I can see those smiles coming through. 371 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,720 Say bananas. 372 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,720 Bananas. 373 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,960 OK, let's talk about Sammy and Jason, 374 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,480 the lighthouse parents. 375 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,560 I love what you guys did because it kind of 376 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,080 organically happened. 377 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,440 The kids wanted the sticks. 378 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,640 They had a little bit of time to go and get their things 379 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:31,960 and then you got this amazing shot. 380 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000 It was bribery. It wasn't organic. 381 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,200 (LAUGHTER) 382 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,560 You found a way to redirect it 383 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,080 in a way that was gentle, kind and fun. 384 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,040 I think that's typical of our parenting style. 385 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,800 Yeah, so, we give them that space to, um, be a little feral, 386 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,160 but then we bring it back in. 387 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,880 Yeah. 388 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,280 With the gentle parenting, does it concern you that 389 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,960 you're trying to be gentle to your kids 390 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,240 as much as possible? 391 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,600 But for example, I...I felt discomfort 392 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,680 on this part of the photographer. 393 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,240 We think about the other person's 394 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,800 discomfort definitely. 395 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:06,160 But we've also got four children's discomfort to consider as well. 396 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,760 Yeah, but the photographer's there for you. 397 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,880 Yeah, absolutely. Right? 398 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,120 So, in that situation, it's time for the kids 399 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,280 to behave so the photographer can get his work done... 400 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,760 Mmm. ..and you can move on with the day. 401 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,400 I was constantly talking and we weren't given a time frame. 402 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,560 And he was... 403 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,120 Mmm. Yeah. 404 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,000 Maybe using a little bit of a distraction technique there 405 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,720 where, um, "OK, guys, if we get this done now, 406 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,320 "then we can go and have an ice cream afterwards. 407 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,720 "What do you say?" We don't do bribes. 408 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,000 And that depending on how it's used could be a bribe. 409 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,400 Distraction is important though because there's a point 410 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,760 where you have to distract yourself 411 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,680 as an adult even out of your emotions 412 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,680 so that you can get on with stuff. 413 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,960 Amos was actually unwell that day. Yeah. 414 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,040 And so we get there 415 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,360 and he was really flat to begin with. 416 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,920 And then Seanna's eye. 417 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,840 She could barely open it until... Yeah. 418 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,520 She couldn't open her eye. ..ten minutes before the end. 419 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,480 So, we didn't push that. 420 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,640 Your children to me show zero respect for you. 421 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,720 You picked up one of your children and they smacked you. 422 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,320 How do you deal with your kids smacking you? 423 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,240 Yeah, so, our response to that is usually 424 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,480 talking them through the emotion, 425 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,240 especially, when it's like they're attacking 426 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,800 their sibling or even us. 427 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,520 They don't attack us, though. Well, no. Sorry. 428 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,840 That is a little harsh. Oh, no. 429 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,160 The, um... 430 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,680 When it's a...a physical retaliation from some emotion, 431 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,240 um, it's talking to them through... 432 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,120 Well, how do you think that made your sibling or us feel? 433 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:30,040 Because we really wanna get them having that empathy for others. 434 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,240 I see no respect. I see no discipline. 435 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,480 Mate, if any of my kids struck at me, 436 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,760 that's not OK! 437 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,320 With the gentle parenting, we really enjoyed and appreciated 438 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,280 how patient they were and, uh, compassion they had 439 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,400 for their children. 440 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,360 This is a really sensitive thing to say, 441 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,600 but parents have an obligation 442 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,960 to teach their children socially acceptable behaviours. 443 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,120 If the child is losing the plot, 444 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,200 while those emotions might be acceptable, 445 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,120 we still have to set the boundaries and limits. 446 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:11,280 But if we can, what we want to try to do is let the kids know 447 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,720 that we can see how they're feeling. 448 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,520 And when they're calm, we can work it out. 449 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,680 Emotions are contagious 450 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,840 but we have an obligation to help children learn 451 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,520 what's OK and what's not. 452 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,360 When they're crossing lines, teaching them to act 453 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:31,400 in socially appropriate ways is one of a parent's key roles. 454 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,480 Next... 455 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,360 No, no, no. 456 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,800 ..our honest mum comes undone. 457 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,160 Jesse and Billy. Does anyone listen to me? 458 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,840 Oh, well, what have I done? 459 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,720 And are our lighthouse parents... 460 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,560 Am happy for the two older ones to go swimming by themselves. 461 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,960 ..out of their depth? 462 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,400 I feel physically ill. 463 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,520 Yeah, there's always life savers. 464 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,040 Have you ever seen a child drown? 465 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:53,920 Then later... 466 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,000 What? 467 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,200 ..a taboo topic... 468 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,640 Oh, my god. How did you feel watching that? 469 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,320 Pretty sick, actually. 470 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,040 ..shakes the room. 471 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,400 As parents, we owe it to our kids 472 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,960 to know as much about this issue as possible. 473 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,240 # You'll be on my mind You'll be on... # 474 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,000 Never before has parenting been so intense. 475 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,160 Remember, all of these challenges are designed to test 476 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:31,240 which parenting style is best for creating a strong family unit, 477 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,680 produces happy and healthy kids 478 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,040 who are ready for what life throws at them. 479 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,880 We're looking at the family photo shoot challenge, 480 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,040 testing how parents can connect with their children under pressure. 481 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,560 We've already seen our outback, lighthouse and gentle parents. 482 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:54,720 Let's have a look at our last one, Kat, our honest parent. 483 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,000 Hello, hello. 484 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,800 Hi. Did we get a memo? 485 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,720 It's like we all got the assignment. 486 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,680 This is something that I've always wanted to do 487 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,000 but never really been able to do it. 488 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,280 Oh, that's lovely. It's actually really good. 489 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,240 I really wanted to get the most out of this opportunity that we had. 490 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,720 Ready, set, go! 491 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,840 Then we started rolling down the hill 492 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,280 and I just looked at Jesse and I thought, 493 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,000 "Oh, wow, what have I done?" 494 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,160 Oh, oh, oh. 495 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,600 Jesse's got ADHD and he's autistic. 496 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,640 With that comes a lot of extra energy. 497 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:36,080 It takes Jesse a lot of time to focus on a given task. 498 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:42,040 Oh, we're doing it again. No, no, no, no. 499 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,560 Billy, this time we're doing for a race. 500 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,080 Jesse and Billy, before you do it... 501 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:51,360 Does anyone listen to me? Stop! Oi, stop! 502 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,800 I'm telling you, I'm... Stop. 503 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,200 I am. 504 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,400 When the grumbly voice comes out and the hand goes up with the stop. 505 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,280 And I don't mean, "Stop, I don't like it." 506 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,920 I mean, "Stop." Then they know. 507 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,440 Think about how hot you are. 508 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,160 Think about how itchy you're gonna be, right? 509 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,960 Think about how sweaty you're gonna be. 510 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,120 Stop. Stop. 511 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,120 Yeah. 512 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,920 It's quite a masculine, forceful, I mean, business. 513 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,880 But then you just return back to normal straight after. 514 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,440 It's all about quick recovery. 515 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,720 Now, how do you wanna work this, guys? 516 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,040 I'll leave this up to you to get comfy. 517 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,000 Just casually. 518 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,080 (LAUGHTER) 519 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,160 (APPLAUSE) 520 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,840 Can I just point out something that I really loved 521 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,320 about the way that you managed that situation? 522 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,440 You weren't just telling 'em to stop for no good reason. 523 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,040 You were giving them the reason. Stop. 524 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,920 Here's the reason. Redirect. 525 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,160 That's really impressive. 526 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,560 Thank you. Yeah. 527 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,680 I never started off from when they were small with stop. 528 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,760 You'll notice I didn't say, "Stop, stop, stop." 529 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:09,080 And I didn't... you know, it was stop, first reset. 530 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,880 Stop, second reset. 531 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,360 I have built them up to knowing that thought process 532 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,520 is not a not to full condition response 533 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,840 where it's just interaction like that. 534 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,520 So, you're doing this honest approach 535 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,440 but also setting really strong boundaries. 536 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,880 Oh, there are definitely guidelines... 537 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,200 Yeah. ..to everything I teach them. 538 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,640 Yeah. 539 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,720 A quick reminder, everybody, please pick up those notepads. 540 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:32,840 Make some notes about 541 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,360 what you're seeing happening in the challenges. 542 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:35,960 It's gonna be up to you to decide 543 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,680 which parenting style producers happier, healthy kids 544 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,720 who are prepared for life with a close and loving family unit. 545 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,920 I loved watching Kat because I think there is a time 546 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,840 and a place to pull rank with kids. 547 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,240 Kat does that in a really firm way. 548 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,480 She always gives her kids reasons, honest reasons, and I love that. 549 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,640 I like the concept of lighthouse parenting. 550 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,120 The autonomy is there, which is great for the kids, 551 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,880 but the backup is there if they need it. 552 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,720 We're going to take an in-depth look at each parenting style. 553 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,160 But first, let's find out a little bit more about 554 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,080 what lighthouse parenting looks like. 555 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,360 Sammy and Jason. 556 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,320 Lighthouse parenting is taking a watchful 557 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,720 yet hands-off approach to parenting, 558 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,720 empowering children to get things done on their own 559 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,360 while being ready to step in if needed. 560 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,320 Pepper, Jude, can you come here for a second? 561 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,560 So, I've ordered dinner from the fish and chip place 562 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:39,600 down on the corner. 563 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,960 Can you guys pick it up for me? 564 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,160 We can do that. 565 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,120 Lighthouse parenting is setting our kids up 566 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,600 to realise that we're not always gonna be 567 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,080 there for them to fix their problems. 568 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:50,600 So, remember, we need to watch out for cars... 569 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,600 Walking on the path. ..bikes. 570 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,000 And also remember, we gotta watch out for the people 571 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,400 who don't know how to drive. 572 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,720 (LAUGHTER) 573 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,920 Would you need a copy of the receipt? 574 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,240 Uh, yes, please. 575 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,440 It's not possible for us to be there all the time. 576 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,160 So, it's important we teach them to fend for themselves. 577 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,120 Which direction? It's going this way. 578 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,920 So, our current is going from south to north. 579 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,360 Let's go. Go! 580 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,040 We are literally on the beach. 581 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,920 So, the beach has become our backyard. 582 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,200 Jace, can you see the kids? 583 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,520 Uh, they're just going for a swim. 584 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,520 Uh, they're between the flags. It's OK. 585 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,280 We are outnumbered, so we can't focus all our attention 586 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,800 on each individual kid, 587 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,600 which means we have to let the other kids 588 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,360 have their own freedom in their own space. 589 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,880 So, we're happy for the two older ones 590 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,400 to go swimming by themselves. 591 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:46,080 It's an opportunity for them to showcase how independent 592 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,160 they can be and give them some trust as well. 593 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,320 Are they keeping an eye on each other? 594 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,040 Yeah, they're OK. 595 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,120 I don't wanna scare the kids. 596 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,320 I don't wanna hover over them and for them to see danger 597 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:58,520 when there is none. 598 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,520 Well. 599 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,680 I feel ill. 600 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:08,480 Kids at the beach by them self at that age makes me physically ill. 601 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,560 That water can change in an instant. 602 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,760 And from where you are 603 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,840 and where the kids are, they're gone. 604 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,040 Yeah, there's always life savers. 605 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,720 It doesn't matter. So far away! 606 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,520 Like I just... water is a massive, massive... 607 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,920 No, and I appreciate that that's not something that 608 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,080 most people are comfortable with. 609 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,160 That's right. 610 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:30,600 The thing with our parenting style is for the children to be aware 611 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,880 of their own limitations. 612 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,600 Are...are...are they strong swimmers? 613 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,880 Pepper does nippers and she's actually quite good at it. 614 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,200 Jude knows where his comfortable limit is 615 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,720 and his comfort point is generally between his knees and his hips. 616 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,800 Can I ask this? 617 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,120 So, are the lifeguards than the babysitters? 618 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:48,360 No, I don't think we consider 619 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,920 the...the lifeguards as the babysitters. 620 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,000 Like, we are watching them constantly. 621 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,400 Have you ever seen a child drown? 622 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,760 It's silent. 623 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,640 When they're drowning, you actually can't hear them 624 00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,760 yelling for help. 625 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,840 I don't want to give my kids any fear in life 626 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,760 to feel like there's no one here watching me 627 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:08,880 or helping me or assisting me. 628 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,040 I can't do that. 629 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,080 I want them to back themselves... 630 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:13,400 The question is, why don't you wanna be down there 631 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,560 on the beach with them enjoying them in that moment? 632 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,240 We do. Absolutely, we do. 633 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,480 But we've also got two other children, 634 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,280 so, we are back at home with them. 635 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,160 I just wonder if it's their responsibility 636 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,280 to watch each other. 637 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,200 And if something happened to one of the kids, 638 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,960 how would that kids feel that 639 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,240 they were responsible for that child and something happened to them? 640 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,400 Anything our children do, we assess the risks. 641 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,320 It takes a long time to get to that point 642 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,480 where...where we're allowing them to do what they do. 643 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,800 This whole lighthouse parenting is really based on 644 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,000 developing trust with our children 645 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,480 and them knowing their own boundaries, 646 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,440 which develops confidence, security with their choices. 647 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,960 And then as an adult, they don't let fear hold them back. 648 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,760 For me, the lighthouse parenting was probably too hands off, 649 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,400 but I was taken back seeing that 650 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,080 there was no supervision on the beach. 651 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,760 It's not my cup of tea. 652 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,040 I trust their judgement. They've gotta trust their judgement. 653 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,080 Coming up... We should meet up. 654 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,280 Do your kids know how to stay safe... 655 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,400 She said yes. 656 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,120 ..online? 657 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,520 None of you can beat me up 658 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,600 anymore than I'm beating myself up right now. 659 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:25,720 And later... 660 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,000 My child's not allowed to speak to me that way. 661 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,800 ..the panel takes sides... 662 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,480 I have no criticism at all. 663 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,520 It's the way we all should be really living. 664 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,120 I worry to see how they turn out as teenagers. 665 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,120 ..before they vote who their favourite so far. 666 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,960 The parents with the best parental guidance 667 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,360 tonight are... 668 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,200 # Ooh, I love it When you do it like that... # 669 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,520 At the end of tonight, you'll be voting on your 670 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,960 favourite parenting style so far. 671 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,040 Let's get to know another of our parenting styles better 672 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,720 and learn about, Kat, our honest parent. 673 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,120 Honest parenting is telling the truth, 674 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,600 sometimes bluntly. 675 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,920 It's forthright to the point it's real. 676 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,720 There's no sugar-coating and no topics are off limits. 677 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,360 Your turn this time. 678 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,360 It might be the only time you get the ball. 679 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,840 (LAUGHS) 680 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,440 I'm a single mum and I'm also bringing up 681 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,320 two complete swamp donkey twins called Billy and Jesse. 682 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,960 Billy, I feel like you're not contributing. 683 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,200 Honesty in my home is 100% important. 684 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,800 Pass with your team mate. 685 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,400 Just talk to each other. You gotta communicate. 686 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,800 My parenting style, there is nothing off limits. 687 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,720 Go, Billy. Go. Oh, god! 688 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:41,920 I feel that was not good. 689 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,880 The benefit of honest parenting is having them be able to relate, 690 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,000 be able to ask questions. 691 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,320 There's no shortage of just sitting there on the toilet 692 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,000 with the door open having a chat. 693 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,040 (LAUGHTER) 694 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,200 Everyone had a good day? 695 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,560 Yes. This is my favourite. 696 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,920 Some aspects of modern day parenting 697 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:08,120 isn't really setting you up for what's gonna happen in life. 698 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,560 So, let's stop fluffing these children up 699 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,560 and wrapping them up in cotton wool. 700 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,720 Billy, it's like you're three. 701 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,840 It is everywhere. (LAUGHS) 702 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,960 (MUFFLED SPEECH) 703 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:24,800 If you come 66th in a race, you don't get a ribbon. 704 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,240 I love you. 705 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,000 I love you more. No, you don't. 706 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,800 I'm very confident that honest parenting 707 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,400 will give you the biggest opportunity 708 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,600 to have honest children. 709 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,880 You've got a massive mouth, mate. 710 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:41,240 Oh... (LAUGHS) And I still missed it. 711 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,360 Nice one. 712 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,000 (APPLAUSE). 713 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,720 Can I tell you what I loved the most? 714 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:51,760 Please. 715 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,120 I hate when schools or any sport 716 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,280 gives a participation award. 717 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,200 Oh. Mate, you didn't win. 718 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,320 You're not getting a participation award. 719 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,360 First, second, third most improved. Yeah. 720 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,480 I love it. 721 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,280 One thing did trigger me a little. 722 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,520 I'll be honest. 723 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:07,880 Go for it. 724 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:11,720 When I was growing up, I had uncles and aunties that 725 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,240 would make fun of me 'cause I wasn't good at sport 726 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,440 and it made me really like unconfident to try. 727 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,680 We banter. 728 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,720 We try to make a little bit of a joke 729 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,920 with our flaws because no one's perfect. 730 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,960 It's about setting your children up for not getting the job 731 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,680 'cause you're not always going to get the job. 732 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,240 You're not always going to be picked as the bridesmaid. 733 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,600 You're not always going to be invited to the party. 734 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,240 And so, let's just make the most out of the time 735 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,280 and the things that we are doing when those things 736 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,120 aren't happening for you. 737 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,560 Kat, because you are so brutally honest, 738 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,600 do you ever worry about the kids' self-esteem? 739 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:47,640 No. 740 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:48,960 Do you ever think sometimes maybe it is better 741 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,360 just to tell a little white lie? 742 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,400 No. 743 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,240 My children, I like them to make decisions for themselves. 744 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,720 I like them to strive for a little bit higher, 745 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,360 but I'm certainly not gonna insult them. 746 00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,800 Are any topics off limits? 747 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,680 No. It's just all age appropriate. 748 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,720 The honest parent says it how it is, 749 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,160 but I'd probably be a little kinder in some of the ways 750 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,360 that she says derogatory things to the kids. 751 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,880 It triggered me a little bit. 752 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,200 I love honest parenting. 753 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,800 Kat is an amazing mother, so, she's got a massive job. 754 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,520 And she really skates that line of being the nurturer 755 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,800 and the mother's side, but also being that figure 756 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,360 for them to look up to and to guide and instructed as well. 757 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,840 So, it's really amazing. 758 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000 OK. 759 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,640 Our next challenge seemed fun and innocent, 760 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,840 but this was about the most serious issue 761 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,760 facing parents in the digital age. 762 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,720 We asked you to give your children 763 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:54,200 an hour of screen time so they could play an online game, 764 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:59,480 but this was really about the biggest problem 765 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,680 the parents face right now. 766 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,480 This is so big and so important 767 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,760 we needed to call in an expert in the field. 768 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,040 Please welcome 769 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,320 Detective Superintendent Jayne Crossling 770 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,160 from the Australian Federal Police-led Centre 771 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,200 to Counter Child Exploitation. 772 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,000 (APPLAUSE) 773 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,880 Nice to see you, Jayne. Thanks for coming in. 774 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,320 Hi, Jayne. Take a seat please. 775 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,000 Thank you. 776 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,720 Maybe to start, Jayne, could you perhaps tell us 777 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,920 what the centre does? 778 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,880 So, um, the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation 779 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,680 is led by the Australian Federal Police 780 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,240 and they're essentially the front door 781 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:48,480 to receive reports of child exploitation online 782 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:49,600 for the whole of Australia. 783 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,600 How big is the problem? 784 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,320 So, in a typical year, 785 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,960 the ACCCE will receive over 22,000 reports 786 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000 where either there is an Australian possible offender 787 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,800 or an Australian possible victim. 788 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,320 And we know that this crime type is severely under reported. 789 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,440 And that's 400 to 500 reports per week. 790 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,520 That's correct. 791 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,000 So, we have a whole team that works around the clock 792 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,600 to actually assess these matters 793 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,120 so that if there is a child 794 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,680 actually at risk at that point in time, 795 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,600 we can rush out to protect them. 796 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,280 Jayne, can you just perhaps give us an idea to, 797 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:26,280 what can happen in a case of child exploitation online? 798 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:31,760 We might have a groomer say, "Hey, I saw your pics on something. 799 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,440 "You'll be great for my modelling campaign. 800 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,480 "Can you please show me what you look like in a leotard?" 801 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,840 So, initially these images might be relatively benign, 802 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,560 uh, and then they may step up a little bit 803 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,680 and the groomer may actually use them 804 00:34:51,720 --> 00:34:54,360 to exploit them to essentially provide more. 805 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,520 Another trick that groomers will use is that they'll actually 806 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,680 use potentially a separate platform to share adult pornographic material 807 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,200 with them to see how they respond to that. 808 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:09,840 And if they respond OK and still stay in a grooming type, 809 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:14,320 um, scenario, they'll escalate it and they'll ask for material. 810 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,120 Pretty confronting stuff at times. 811 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,360 It absolutely is. 812 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,840 So, parents, we challenged you to give your kids 813 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,200 an hour to play an online game 814 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:30,160 popular amongst primary school children. 815 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,640 The aim of the game is to trade with other players 816 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,000 to get better items 817 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,000 and the trading relies on interactions. 818 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,240 If you don't chat, you don't progress. 819 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,480 We wanted to see what they did when a stranger approached them. 820 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:51,480 To replicate a real world situation, the stranger was an actor 821 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,280 under the direction of an undercover AFP agent. 822 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,720 Most parents have had the stranger danger chat, 823 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,280 but the digital world has turned 824 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:06,160 what was a rare problem into a far more common one. 825 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,680 This challenge will reveal which parents have had tough 826 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,760 but essential conversations with their children 827 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:17,280 and taught them skills to deal with tricky people online. 828 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,640 OK, let's take a look at our first online game. 829 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,520 Boys, we got another challenge. 830 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:35,960 Do you think you're up for this challenge? 831 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,440 Yup. It's easy. 832 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:38,600 You're gonna smash it out. 833 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,920 Yup. 834 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:45,240 Even though they are outback kids, I think the boys are pretty good 835 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,360 with technology. 836 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,120 The boys get some screen time in the morning before school, 837 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,280 once they've fed all their animals, 838 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,960 got ready for school, made their beds, 839 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,080 all those sorts of things. 840 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,520 With the risks online, we try to explain to them 841 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,840 that not everyone has the best intentions 842 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,160 and people may pretend to be your friend 843 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,600 to get other things out of you. 844 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,960 This platform attracts a lot of kids. 845 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,560 It's chat-based and we know that 846 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,720 offenders have used it to groom kids online. 847 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,520 In this game, the child is Lemonade and you are a Happy Dancer. 848 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,720 I'm on TV or a challenge. 849 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,840 He's writing a public message. 850 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,760 I'm on TV and I'm trying to do a challenge. 851 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,360 I don't think he was supposed to reveal that. 852 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,920 He knows what he wants to achieve, 853 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,640 so, he might not want to engage. 854 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,000 See if you can convince him to tell you his name for the trade. 855 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,280 I'll give you anything if you tell me your name. 856 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,000 What? 857 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:56,960 Elizabeth. 858 00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:00,840 (LAUGHS) 859 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,200 He says it's Elizabeth. 860 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,840 OK. We know that isn't true. 861 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,960 So, he is demonstrating some basic online safety. 862 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,440 Ask him if he's little. He might come back with an age. 863 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,280 He says he's ten. 864 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,640 OK, try to establish something in common. 865 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:27,840 Say you are too. 866 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,480 He's just so focused on the game. 867 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:39,800 He's trying another trade. 868 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,120 Try to get a location. Start with a state. 869 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,760 He's not giving anything away. He says he'll get into trouble. 870 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,440 He's making it too hard for an offender. 871 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,120 Just move on to an easier victim. 872 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,960 This is a good example of how basic online safety 873 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,440 can frustrate an offender and protect the child. 874 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:12,840 Whoa! 875 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,400 (APPLAUSE) Shit. 876 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,560 David, how did you feel watching that? 877 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,880 Pretty sick actually, 878 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,760 especially 'cause I don't do much of that sort of stuff, 879 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,000 so, I try to explain to him what I know, which isn't much. 880 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,160 I was just really impressed that he gave a fake name. 881 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,360 Me too. I...I didn't...you know. 882 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,960 Yes, we've talked about it, but whether they 883 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,680 follow through with that, you know? 884 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:36,800 Yeah. 885 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,080 Jayne, can we hand it over to you? 886 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,160 Your thoughts. Sure. 887 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,560 So, this is really typical of games 888 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,320 that are very popular with young people. 889 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,000 That a key aspect of the game 890 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,480 is actually engaging with other people. 891 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,600 Specifically for Vance, 892 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,400 that was a really good tactic with Elizabeth. 893 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,680 My only concern is that 894 00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:56,360 he's clearly seen it as a competition 895 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,440 and that really motivated him. 896 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,280 That could in time be used against him 897 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,600 if he's so motivated to win 898 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,440 that there may be little leakages of information. 899 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:07,840 That's my only concern. 900 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,560 Otherwise, I think he's showing some really good behaviour. 901 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:14,440 Next... 902 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,880 Talking about this is difficult, 903 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,560 but not talking about it is actually dangerous. 904 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,720 The issue no parent... 905 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,480 He's there! Just run away. 906 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,000 No. 907 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,680 OK, she's just revealed her street address. 908 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,000 Oh! 909 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,480 ..can afford to ignore. 910 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,880 As parents, we cannot claim ignorance. 911 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:39,360 That was complete annihilation of every single thing 912 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,480 I've ever done. 913 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,320 How our children communicate online with strangers 914 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,680 is one of the most serious problems facing parents today. 915 00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,920 As parents, we owe it to our kids 916 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,480 to know as much about this issue as possible. 917 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,320 The people who are doing these things 918 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,800 are literally exploiting the very best of our children 919 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,800 with the very worst of intentions. 920 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,800 So, we had a stranger approach your children online 921 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,240 while they were playing a game. 922 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:21,560 We've seen how Vance 923 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,720 from our outback family navigated this situation. 924 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,200 Let's take a look now at Sammy and Jason 925 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:28,640 and their family's challenge. 926 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,680 Give Pepper one hour of screen time 927 00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:33,760 to play an online game. 928 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:34,800 As lighthouse parents, 929 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,840 we probably give our kids a lot more freedoms 930 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,840 in the outside world than we do online. 931 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,240 My friends play it and I sometimes play it 932 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,520 at my...at my friend's house. 933 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,000 So, just one hour. 934 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,120 We don't give 'em the opportunity to do games online. 935 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,000 We've had quite a few conversations about stranger danger 936 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,440 in the real world. 937 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:57,960 But when it comes to online grooming or online stranger danger, 938 00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,680 I guess we haven't even touched on it really, have we? 939 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,720 No, we...we haven't really had the op...opportunity to, 940 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,880 though, I guess. 941 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,760 Your online name is Pizza and you're trying to establish 942 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,360 a relationship with Funny Animal. 943 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,040 Maybe start by introducing yourself. 944 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,480 My name's Lilly. 945 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,800 She says her name's Pepper. 946 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,040 That's information she shouldn't be giving out. 947 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,960 See if you can get her away from the rest of the other users. 948 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,120 Let me go to my house. 949 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:42,360 Yeah, she's following. 950 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,160 So, offenders will often try to move a child away 951 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,800 from other users so that they can chat in private. 952 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,880 See if we can find out where she lives. 953 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,120 Maybe start with a state. 954 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,120 She's told me her suburb already. 955 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,600 She's being very open with you. 956 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,600 Ask if she knows the local shopping centre. 957 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,520 Yeah, she says she does. 958 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,280 OK. Keep building the relationship. 959 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,240 See if she'd like to meet you at the shopping centre. 960 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:29,440 Oh, my god. 961 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,120 We should meet up. 962 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:43,680 She said, yes. 963 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:46,720 Oh, my god. 964 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:54,480 Oh, she just added me as a friend. 965 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,960 So, for offenders, this would provide an opportunity 966 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,160 to continue building the relationship 967 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,520 and perhaps arrange a real meet or exchange photos. 968 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,280 They could attempt to locate her. 969 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,760 They know her real name, 970 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,840 her suburb and her local shopping centre. 971 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,840 It's really sad because this little girl 972 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,200 just wants to play a game and meet some friends. 973 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,520 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 974 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,000 Talking about this is difficult, but not talking about it 975 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:39,800 is actually dangerous. 976 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,200 Gosh. (CRIES) 977 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,440 She's a little girl who just wants to play a game 978 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:48,520 and that's just her. 979 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,960 She's just a little girl who wants to play a game. 980 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,720 And, um, just breaks my heart. 981 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,920 She hasn't had the opportunity to play a lot of online games. 982 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,480 We don't give her the opportunity. 983 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,640 We've always sort of just held that back from her 984 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,200 because we don't believe she's old enough yet. 985 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,240 After this, she come out, she explained what happened. 986 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:10,920 'Cause she told us all the... 987 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,080 Very innocently, though. Yeah. 988 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,120 She was actually really excited that she made friends. 989 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,160 Made a friend. 990 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,560 Like, she le...legitimately came to us and said, 991 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,000 "I had a great time. I made friends." 992 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,200 I noticed that she said that she plays that game 993 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:22,520 at her friend's house. Yeah. 994 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,880 That's...that was concerning, 'cause I...I didn't pick up on that. 995 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,120 I suppose we are all just learning that 996 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,840 even if you don't go online with your kids, they... 997 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,160 you still need to teach 'em about it 998 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,040 'cause they're gonna play it somewhere. 999 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:37,360 We want her to remain a child for as long as possible 1000 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,560 and, um, I think we have a fear of opening up 1001 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,000 a can of worms and her... 1002 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,880 This innocence is gonna be shattered. 1003 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,080 I think, we tread that line too lightly. 1004 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,920 Jayne, do you have any words for Sammy and Jason? 1005 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,040 It must have been really tough, Sammy and Jason. 1006 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,240 So, it's one thing to say that your home environment is safe 1007 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,080 simply because your daughter doesn't spend that much time 1008 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,760 on screen in the home environment. 1009 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:08,400 But to not then imagine that she's still a human being 1010 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,800 in the rest of the world is that potential opportunity 1011 00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,640 for risk and exposure for her. 1012 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,800 Yeah. Agree. 1013 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,480 Next... 1014 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,880 She...she says she lives near there. 1015 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,440 ..a shock for honest parenting. 1016 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,280 And she's such a beautiful soul. 1017 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:28,360 Like, she's a beautiful kid, but reality is she lied. 1018 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,640 Predators can be pretty smart. 1019 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:31,920 May I just have a minute? 1020 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,640 (CRIES) 1021 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,760 (INTENSE MUSIC) 1022 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,520 We are here to learn how to help our children be safe 1023 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,360 when they're approached by a stranger online. 1024 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,360 This is a conversation all of us have to have. 1025 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,720 Every week in Australia, there are around 1026 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:04,720 400 reports of children being inappropriately contacted 1027 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,160 by strangers online. 1028 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,360 We have two more to see. 1029 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,920 This is Larissa and Marcus, our gentle parents. 1030 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,080 OK. 1031 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,360 As gentle parents, 1032 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,720 we don't encourage online gaming with our kids. 1033 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,920 The idea that they might be communicating with people 1034 00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,840 we don't know online is a bit confronting 1035 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,640 I suppose, but it's also something I don't think they would do. 1036 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,960 Even though we don't do online gaming, 1037 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,800 we've talked through them about what to do online. 1038 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,880 I think our kids know who's safe or not. 1039 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,320 And if they don't know if someone's safe, 1040 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,800 then they don't engage. 1041 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,280 Your username is Pizza and you're a ten-year-old girl. 1042 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,480 The child's logged on as Lemonade. 1043 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:52,320 First steps to make contact. Ask if they need any help. 1044 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:53,480 Do you need help? 1045 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,640 Can I have a time with it? 1046 00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:58,920 Hey. 1047 00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,200 No answer. 1048 00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:02,000 You could try a different approach. 1049 00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,280 Maybe change your avatar to be similar. 1050 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,600 Try a boy-based avatar. 1051 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,720 Becoming similar might make it easier to establish a relationship. 1052 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,160 Start being more chatty, less direct. 1053 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:20,720 Just run away. He's there straight to you! 1054 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,360 He won't get me. 1055 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,880 Still nothing. 1056 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,280 It doesn't look like he's very familiar with the game. 1057 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,400 A typical offender will probably move on 1058 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,000 by now to another victim. 1059 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,160 Ha ha. 1060 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,600 Think you can fool me? I'll fly away from you. 1061 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,120 (APPLAUSE) 1062 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,920 I knew it. I knew he wouldn't engage. 1063 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,440 Levi did the old runaway trick. 1064 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,200 Yup. But it works. 1065 00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:49,400 We have taught our kids 1066 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,520 that you don't talk online to people that you don't know. 1067 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:53,080 It was difficult to watch, 1068 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,640 but I also had a lot of confidence that... 1069 00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,360 Yeah. ..they would be alright. 1070 00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:02,000 You said, "Our kids know who is safe and unsafe." 1071 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:05,160 How would they tell that online? 1072 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,840 We try to teach our kids to listen to how they're feeling. 1073 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,560 So, if an adult is asking you for help, 1074 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:12,880 maybe not a safe person. 1075 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:16,440 I think predators can be pretty smart. 1076 00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,680 They're not just gonna come straight up and ask name. 1077 00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:20,760 Sometimes it could take a long time. Yeah. 1078 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,160 Sometimes it could take days of them playing that game. 1079 00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,240 Probably a good point to bring in Jayne here. 1080 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:28,320 Sure. Yeah. 1081 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,840 So, they ended up being very safe but not necessarily 1082 00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,400 operating in the spirit of the game. 1083 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,440 So, it's kind of like an inadvertent safety. 1084 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:39,760 But I think, you know, going to the point 1085 00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:41,760 about whether or not you'll know if you're being, 1086 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,720 um, lied to or if someone's trying to scam you 1087 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,880 or someone's trying to groom you, they don't know. 1088 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,560 It...it can be very challenging to rely 1089 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,320 on an individual's intuition. 1090 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,840 Um, so, there's just got to be a little bit extra layer 1091 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,600 in that regard. 1092 00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:58,720 Let's watch the next challenge. And that is, Kat, our honest mum. 1093 00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:00,840 (SIGHS) 1094 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:08,400 We've had conversations about cyber safety and things before. 1095 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,360 As an honest parent, I'm always going to be 1096 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,960 completely blunt with them about what sort of things 1097 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,240 can take place through online avenues. 1098 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,480 There are strong, strict rules about not having anyone 1099 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,960 in the screen room with you that you don't know. 1100 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,600 Clearly don't mention where you live, 1101 00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:27,680 your school, all those sorts of things, 1102 00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:29,960 which is a little bit more close to home. 1103 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,840 So, offenders need to establish a connection 1104 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,120 with the kids they're engaging. 1105 00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,720 You'll be a ten-year-old girl and your online name is Pizza. 1106 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,040 Approach Lemonade and try to make friends with her. 1107 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,880 Are you a girl or a boy? 1108 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:51,720 So, she's telling me she's a girl. 1109 00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:56,440 Uh, we'll keep this going? 1110 00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:57,520 Yeah. 1111 00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,960 Maybe take a guess on what state she's in 1112 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,280 and we can try to narrow down her location. 1113 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:08,640 Now, we know what state. 1114 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,440 Tell her you are in the same state 1115 00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,680 to build the relationship based on commonalities. 1116 00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:15,720 Maybe pull up maps in another window 1117 00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,280 and we can try to narrow down where she is. 1118 00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,520 Search for family friendly restaurants 1119 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:21,560 in the city. 1120 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,640 Stuff kids like to eat pizza, burger restaurants. 1121 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,480 Yeah, try that one and see if she knows it. 1122 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,480 (GASPS) No! 1123 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:38,600 She says she lives near there. 1124 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,440 Oh, (BLEEP). 1125 00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:46,280 OK. 1126 00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,000 She's just revealed her street address. 1127 00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,720 Oh, (BLEEP). 1128 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,680 This little girl just provided enough detail 1129 00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:56,720 with an offender that they'd be motivated 1130 00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,840 to try to re-establish contact next time 1131 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,360 they were online. 1132 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:06,120 How did you go? 1133 00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,640 Because I'm not really sure about this game at all. 1134 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:10,320 Hang on a sec. What is this? 1135 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:12,880 That's just the chat. 1136 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,240 Yeah, but who are you talking to? 1137 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,320 No one. 1138 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,000 What's all this? That's...no, that's not my text. 1139 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,400 That's other people. 1140 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,240 So, you haven't talked at all? 1141 00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:27,320 No. 1142 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,080 OK, good. OK, that's cool. 1143 00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:42,960 None of you can beat me up 1144 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000 any more than I'm beating myself up right now. 1145 00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:46,720 So... No one's beating you up. 1146 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,280 Everyone feels for you right now. 1147 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,280 OK, let me get a tissue. 1148 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,520 So, let me grab some... 1149 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:32,880 You alright? Let me stay here, you and me? 1150 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,480 No, I'm OK. You're good. OK. 1151 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:35,560 Thank you. 1152 00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,000 I feel like that reflects Billy, Kat, 1153 00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,920 a lot though and who she is as a person. 1154 00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,520 She's such a beautiful soul that... 1155 00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:48,640 I'm not sugar-coating this. 1156 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,000 Sorry, that's bullshit. No, no, no, no, no. 1157 00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,640 I'm not sugar-coating. Yep, she's a beautiful kid. 1158 00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:55,520 But reality is, she lied. She lied. 1159 00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:56,920 She lied! 1160 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,040 She's a kid. 1161 00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,600 And you know why she lied? 1162 00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,920 She lied to me because she knew she'd done the wrong thing. 1163 00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,600 And I think the... I think the penny dropped a little bit too late, 1164 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:05,680 unfortunately. 1165 00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:09,000 And then it only takes that long for someone to chuck you in the boot 1166 00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:10,320 and you never see your mum again 1167 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:11,920 which is always what I've said to them about 1168 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,840 potentially some very unwell people. 1169 00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:14,920 So... 1170 00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,840 What was that emotion like when you realised 1171 00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,720 she'd given away where you live? 1172 00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:23,200 That was completely consuming annihilation 1173 00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:26,600 of every single thing I've ever done. 1174 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:33,440 Can I just... 1175 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:34,680 May I just have a minute? 1176 00:54:34,720 --> 00:54:35,840 Yeah, yeah. 1177 00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,840 (CRIES) 1178 00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:02,600 While Ally and Kat step out for a minute, 1179 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,520 a couple of things that I wanna share here. 1180 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,160 Our kids lie for a couple of reasons, 1181 00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,440 particularly, when it comes to the online world, 1182 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,120 when it comes to their screens, their games, 1183 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:17,480 they lie because they know that we as parents 1184 00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:18,640 are gonna take their screens off them. 1185 00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:32,200 Hey, Kat. 1186 00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:36,800 OK. 1187 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,840 Uh, Jayne, is there any advice you can give to parents 1188 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,520 to avoid their children lying to them 1189 00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,000 in tough situations like this? 1190 00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,880 Absolutely. So, no judgement, whatsoever. 1191 00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,280 Um, when you first sat down, um, with Billy on the lounge, 1192 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,280 I think maybe you had a slightly heightened tone 1193 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,040 and you sort of came in saying, 1194 00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,120 "You didn't talk to anyone, did you?" 1195 00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,080 Now, she actually needed to talk to people. 1196 00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,480 That was...that was the purpose of the game. 1197 00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,120 So, I think she might have been slightly defensive 1198 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,680 and that might have contributed, 1199 00:56:04,720 --> 00:56:08,120 but a young person is far more likely to bring a problem to you 1200 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:11,560 if they know the previous time that they did bring a problem 1201 00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,160 that you were calm and that you took a really appropriate, 1202 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,400 um, response to...to what was being said 1203 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,080 because at the end of the day, children will make mistakes. 1204 00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:26,000 There are hundreds of thousands of Australian families 1205 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,440 who have seen, uh, what has just occurred 1206 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,320 and...and now, they'll have those conversations. 1207 00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:32,400 Mm-hm. 1208 00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,960 And...and lives will be changed and people will be protected. 1209 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,000 Yeah. 1210 00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,120 And now, we can look after your daughter, 1211 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,800 but we can look after so many other people as a result. 1212 00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:42,880 That's right. 1213 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:45,040 We do have resources. 1214 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,200 We have a programme called ThinkUKnow, 1215 00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:49,840 where we actually go into a school environment 1216 00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,760 or any type of community setting 1217 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:53,760 and we do face-to-face presentations. 1218 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,280 It's a nice way to sort of take some further action 1219 00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:58,800 and feel a little bit more proactive. 1220 00:56:58,840 --> 00:56:59,880 Yeah. 1221 00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,160 So, yeah, more than happy to share some 1222 00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:02,200 of the resources with... 1223 00:57:02,240 --> 00:57:03,480 Do you wanna just come over? Yeah, sure. 1224 00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,080 If you could just come over... 1225 00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:06,480 What state do you live in? 1226 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:07,560 Can't tell you. 1227 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:08,880 (LAUGHTER) 1228 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:17,720 Only 52% of parents talk to their children 1229 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,200 about online safety. 1230 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,960 Now, it's a tough topic, 1231 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:24,040 but ignorance is no longer an excuse. 1232 00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,720 With more children than ever on the internet 1233 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,040 and often unsupervised, 1234 00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,720 it's an issue that every family needs to discuss. 1235 00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:38,680 I think we need a little fresh air after that. 1236 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:40,640 Let's have a look at some of the things 1237 00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:45,040 that the kids say about us or anything really. 1238 00:57:58,480 --> 00:57:59,560 (LAUGHTER) 1239 00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,760 Anything funny. 1240 00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:03,720 Time to go. 1241 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:09,000 Our mum has some bad habits. 1242 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,240 She's like, sometimes she bumps her head by accident 1243 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,320 and then she's like, "Oh!" 1244 00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:13,840 And then walked backwards and hit it again. 1245 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:15,000 "Oh!" 1246 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,880 (LAUGHTER) 1247 00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,880 In his spare time, probably eat chocolate. 1248 00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:22,880 (LAUGHTER) 1249 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,040 Dad. Mum and daddy. 1250 00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,320 The boss in the house is mummy and daddy. 1251 00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:30,560 Mostly mum though. 1252 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,360 Because when we ask dad for something 1253 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:33,960 sometimes he's like, "I'm not the boss. 1254 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,080 "Mum's the boss." 1255 00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,080 They say it out loud again and again and again. 1256 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,400 Aw! 1257 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:47,760 Aw. 1258 00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:53,040 They give us lots of cuddles and kisses. 1259 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,760 They give us food. 1260 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:57,080 (LAUGHTER) 1261 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:02,840 Great! Great. 1262 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,720 Great! 1263 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,040 Mum is funny 1264 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,360 like spot on so much so. 1265 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:12,600 (LAUGHS) 1266 00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,920 You don't say like spot on, like... 1267 00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:16,720 She is spot on. 1268 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:17,840 She... 1269 00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:19,000 (LAUGHTER) 1270 00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:20,560 (APPLAUSE) 1271 00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:24,000 So good. 1272 00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:25,320 It makes you miss them though, huh? 1273 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,000 (LAUGHTER) 1274 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,400 Next... Jesse, stop mashing. 1275 00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:32,560 Like baby food. 1276 00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:34,120 When the kids are in charge... 1277 00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,640 Little spoon... 1278 00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:37,760 ..could this be... 1279 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,240 Seanna's doing nearly all of it. Well, she's in charge. 1280 00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,200 ..a recipe for disaster? 1281 00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:45,720 Stop! I'm the boss! 1282 00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:48,120 (CRIES) 1283 00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,560 I'm the one in charge. 1284 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:51,720 I wouldn't allow it. 1285 00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:01,600 (GROOVY MUSIC) 1286 01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:07,080 We're searching for Australia's best parenting style. 1287 01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,680 Our first four styles under the microscope 1288 01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,960 are lighthouse, outback, gentle and honest, 1289 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:17,080 all showing us their approach to raising happy, healthy kids. 1290 01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,760 We have one more challenge left tonight. 1291 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,600 This challenge involves open flames, 1292 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:29,960 knives and a potential for a huge mess. 1293 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,600 It's kids bake a cake. 1294 01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:37,400 You had to let the kids take charge while you stepped back. 1295 01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:38,760 But to really heat things up, 1296 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:42,000 we asked you to put one of the younger children 1297 01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:43,280 in charge. 1298 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,280 Bake a cake is a test of how parents 1299 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,680 help their kids navigate sibling dynamics. 1300 01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:54,160 With the vast majority of kids living with a sibling, 1301 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,600 parents need to treat this as an opportunity 1302 01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:01,400 to teach the fundamentals, work together, listen, be kind. 1303 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,040 (MESSAGE POPS) 1304 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:15,400 (LAUGHS) 1305 01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:17,000 You get to shine, baby. 1306 01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:20,040 For this challenge, it's not really about the cake. 1307 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,720 We want to see how siblings can work together 1308 01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,280 for a shared purpose. 1309 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:26,000 To really test things, 1310 01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:29,160 we've put one of the younger siblings in charge. 1311 01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:34,400 I'm in charge! 1312 01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,480 Now, it's just basically gonna come down to you guys. 1313 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,320 I don't how to even set the oven. 1314 01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:41,680 As an honest parent, 1315 01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,600 we can be quite direct with each other, 1316 01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:45,360 but I'm confident to say 1317 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,840 there's not a lot of sibling rivalry in our home. 1318 01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,000 Wait you... after you have to do mine. 1319 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:53,240 When it comes to the twins, I would generally say that my son, 1320 01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,640 Jesse, can be the louder and more dominating one. 1321 01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:58,400 Who's in charge, Jesse? (GASPS) 1322 01:01:58,440 --> 01:01:59,480 Don't snatch. 1323 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:00,560 OK. 1324 01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,560 Billy, on the other note, she's a little bit more reserved. 1325 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,120 I'm a little bit concerned about 1326 01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,120 the dynamics of Billy being in charge 1327 01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:08,880 and how successful that will be. 1328 01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:11,640 Alright, Jesse, stop mashing. Wow. 1329 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:14,280 Jesse, stop mashing. 1330 01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:15,880 It's like baby food. 1331 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:17,680 There's actually no teamwork going on. 1332 01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:19,920 Jessie's spinning around and grabbing things. 1333 01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:21,400 Billy's in a flat. 1334 01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,280 We need...we need sugar. 1335 01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:26,640 This is quite a unique experience 1336 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,360 and it's hurting my ovaries. 1337 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:29,760 Isn't your ovaries here? Yeah. 1338 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:31,640 No, they're down lower and that's a baby thing. 1339 01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:32,720 We'll talk about that later. 1340 01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:34,320 (LAUGHTER) 1341 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:37,920 Oh, wow. You're a neat cutter. 1342 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:39,320 Fine... 1343 01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,640 Even though there was no real direction, 1344 01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:43,520 they weren't at each other 1345 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,120 and they were still being polite and that was kind of cool. 1346 01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,280 Oh, wow! 1347 01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:49,440 That is... 1348 01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:51,000 That is delightful. 1349 01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:54,240 We all knew from the tip out it was a no-go. 1350 01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,280 It was complete slop. 1351 01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:56,560 OK, here we go. 1352 01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:00,400 I can't even try it. 1353 01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,040 (LAUGHTER) 1354 01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:08,000 I'm not one of those parents that's just gonna save a few tears 1355 01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:09,560 and try and boost them up and say, 1356 01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,520 "Oh, it tastes delicious," and force it down. 1357 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,080 Not my style at all. 1358 01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,040 You are never cooking again like that! 1359 01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,400 I couldn't cope. 1360 01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:21,600 (LAUGHTER) 1361 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,040 (BIRD CHIRPS) 1362 01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:29,520 Alright, boys, so, there's the recipe for the cake. 1363 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,080 As outback parents, 1364 01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:34,400 it is very important for the boys to respect each other. 1365 01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:37,080 So, I believe the boys will do alright. 1366 01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:40,920 You're the boss. 1367 01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:42,840 The kids do cook for themselves. 1368 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,840 Wyatt will get up in the morning and cook bacon and eggs 1369 01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,520 when he is feeling good for everyone and they all have a go. 1370 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:49,720 They make themselves food a fair bit. 1371 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:51,320 Mix together. 1372 01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:55,040 Thank you. 1373 01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:59,440 Clancy being in charge, I think he'll accept 1374 01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:00,680 responsibility pretty well. 1375 01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:01,840 Think he'll have a bit of fun with it. 1376 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,360 Clancy, where do you want me to put the teaspoon? 1377 01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:08,440 Put in there. Little spoon! 1378 01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,320 Neat. (CHUCKLES) 1379 01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,960 Hey, Clancy, do you like being the boss? 1380 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,280 Yeah. Yeah. 1381 01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,040 It's kind of obvious. 1382 01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,160 I think the older boys did well. 1383 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:19,680 Put that in the oven. 1384 01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,360 OK. 1385 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,720 They do learn a lot of respect and things like that, 1386 01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:26,080 so, I guess that has helped this situation. 1387 01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,280 Yum. 1388 01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:30,440 Do you think Clancy should always be the boss? 1389 01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:31,520 Yes. Yeah. 1390 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,280 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 1391 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:37,160 Clancy being King Clancy and the boys are letting him 1392 01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:38,400 be King Clancy. 1393 01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:40,720 They did a really good job with that. 1394 01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:43,320 Good work. Good work. High five! 1395 01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:44,520 Daddy! 1396 01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,400 (LAUGHTER) 1397 01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:51,840 Seanna, you are gonna be in charge. 1398 01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,320 Why? 1399 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:56,400 When we got the text, I thought Seanna's gonna love this. 1400 01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:57,800 And I also thought 1401 01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:00,960 the youngest might need reminding that she's in charge. 1402 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,360 Can I have the vanilla essence? 'Cause I'm in charge. 1403 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:04,640 Ooh. 1404 01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:06,960 Gentle parenting isn't about control, 1405 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,840 either us controlling the kids or the kids controlling each other. 1406 01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:13,280 It's more about trying to just see what happens naturally. 1407 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,480 Seanna's doing nearly all of it. Well, she's in charge. 1408 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,560 There can be arguments and things like that, 1409 01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:22,200 but it's all part of them working it out amongst themselves. 1410 01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:23,840 We can't find it. 1411 01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:25,280 What are you gonna do then now, Levi? 1412 01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:27,920 Stop! I'm the boss! 1413 01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:32,640 I could see there was a problem. 1414 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,120 I don't know what's caused it. 1415 01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:35,520 Which one of those says icing? 1416 01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,280 Can you see the word icing on something? 1417 01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:41,240 I'm the one in charge. 1418 01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,160 She's not trying to seeing... OK, Buddy. 1419 01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,800 It's really tricky when someone else is in charge, isn't it? 1420 01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:57,360 I think, Levi just needed to essentially just calm down 1421 01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,720 because when his emotions are high, it's really hard to think. 1422 01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:02,240 Would you like to go to your room? 1423 01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:03,320 Yes. 1424 01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:08,680 While we feel OK about our kids taking time to themselves, 1425 01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:09,800 we also wanna make sure 1426 01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,480 they don't feel like they're banished. 1427 01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:14,240 So, I'm just sitting there in the room with him, 1428 01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,320 and when he's ready I know he'll get up. 1429 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,600 I'll hold it so you pour. 1430 01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,120 Try not to get any in the bowl. 1431 01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,000 Pour until it's finished. 1432 01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:40,600 What do you reckon, kids? Have we finished our cake? 1433 01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:42,160 Yes. 1434 01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:44,320 The next part is eating it. 1435 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:47,160 Yes, most important. 1436 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:51,120 Let's talk about Kat and what we saw there. 1437 01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:53,680 From the beginning, like as soon as you got the message 1438 01:06:53,720 --> 01:06:55,000 and the whole way through that, 1439 01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:56,600 you could tell the energy in the house 1440 01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,080 is relaxed, enjoyable... 1441 01:06:58,120 --> 01:06:59,240 Yeah. ..fun. 1442 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:01,480 And the kids were allowed to be themselves. 1443 01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,520 Mmm. 1444 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:04,880 That's how we roll pretty much from the second we get up. 1445 01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:05,960 Yeah. 1446 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:08,000 Tency and David, your boys, 1447 01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,080 they didn't feel the pressure in the kitchen, did they? 1448 01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:13,800 They still worked together, but it went for a very long time. 1449 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:15,520 (LAUGHTER) 1450 01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,680 With the gentle parenting, I rolled my eyes and I'm like, 1451 01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,000 "Oh, here we go, the gentle parents." 1452 01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,200 And it was, like, such a mess at the beginning 1453 01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:27,560 because they were crying, they were fighting. 1454 01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:29,720 But then you went in there, you settled it 1455 01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:31,040 and it was only 15 minutes. 1456 01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:32,760 I'm surprised it said 15. 1457 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,240 It honestly only felt like five. 1458 01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:36,640 But I think you gotta be commended on how patient you were. 1459 01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:38,200 100%. Thank you. 1460 01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:41,520 I think with gentle parenting, people think there's no rules 1461 01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:43,400 or there's no boundaries or there's no time frame. 1462 01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,200 It's absolutely not about that. Mmm. 1463 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,040 There is definitely structure within it, 1464 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,280 but it's more about respecting 1465 01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,720 and honouring emotions or whatnot. 1466 01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:55,120 I'm not sure I could do that. 1467 01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:58,080 Um, 'cause for me there would be a line in the sand 1468 01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:00,680 and it would be OK, time to move. 1469 01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:01,880 I think, it's important to say that 1470 01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,680 when we know there is a deadline, 1471 01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:05,880 we will just duck our head in and say, 1472 01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:07,760 "Look, we need to get this done. 1473 01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,240 "I don't wanna rush you, but we have two minutes. 1474 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:14,000 "You are gonna need to try and pull it together 1475 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:16,880 "in your own way in that time." 1476 01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:19,880 Gentle parenting is interesting. 1477 01:08:19,920 --> 01:08:23,520 With the gentle parenting, I worry it's not helping children 1478 01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,400 necessarily regulate their emotions, but just let their emotions out. 1479 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,320 I was really impressed with the gentle parenting 1480 01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:32,400 because when their child was upset, 1481 01:08:32,440 --> 01:08:35,320 they gave him the time that he needed to recover 1482 01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,680 and then he was happy to come back to the situation. 1483 01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,600 Next... We're all gotta listen to Jude. 1484 01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:45,960 ..the action in the kitchen heats up... 1485 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,320 We don't need one cup of that. 1486 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,120 It's very hard, isn't it, Pepper? 1487 01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:54,080 ..before our panel picks their favourites of the night. 1488 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,520 In the bake a cake challenge, 1489 01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:08,480 we've asked your kids to bake a cake on their own 1490 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:11,760 to see how you support them in their sibling dynamics. 1491 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:16,960 We've seen our honest, outback and gentle parents already. 1492 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,840 Let's have a look at Sammy and Jason, 1493 01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:21,440 our lighthouse parents. 1494 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,360 We are going to bake a cake. 1495 01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:27,320 Yes! 1496 01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:32,520 Guess what we're gonna do now? We all gotta listen to Jude. 1497 01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,600 Jude is the boss. Jude is the boss of this one. 1498 01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:37,200 Jude's really excited about this. 1499 01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,920 I think, he's excited to sort of have that control 1500 01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,480 and be in charge for once. 1501 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:43,600 Pepper's not so thrilled. 1502 01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:47,480 Cooking with lighthouse parenting I think is much like anything else. 1503 01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:50,520 We make sure that the kids know their boundaries 1504 01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:53,920 and then we kind of leave them sort of to their own devices. 1505 01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:57,240 So, ingredients, 100gm of butter melted. 1506 01:09:57,280 --> 01:10:00,920 Um, you can do that. OK. 1507 01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:03,600 And Pepper as the eldest plays a crucial role 1508 01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:05,440 in our lighthouse parenting style. 1509 01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:08,080 I cook. I know what I'm doing. 1510 01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:09,760 We know Pepper enjoys responsibility 1511 01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:10,840 and loves to cook, 1512 01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:12,760 so, it's gonna be really hard for her 1513 01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:14,680 to sit back and watch things 1514 01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:17,000 unfold if they don't go according to plan. 1515 01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,280 Can you help Jude get the eggs out? 1516 01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:21,800 The egg? Yeah. 1517 01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:22,920 OK. (EGG CRACKS) 1518 01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:28,080 (GASPS) Lottie! Lottie, don't crack the egg. 1519 01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:29,200 Ah, well. 1520 01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:30,320 (LAUGHTER) 1521 01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:33,040 Yes. 1522 01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:35,440 Lottie, why did you crack the other egg? 1523 01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:42,960 No, this is not one cup. We don't need one cup of that. 1524 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,880 It's very hard, isn't it, Pepper? 1525 01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:47,120 It's OK. Listen. 1526 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,280 Take a breath. I can't do this. 1527 01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:51,560 Yes, you can, OK? 1528 01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:52,720 You'll be brave, you'll be great, OK? 1529 01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:53,840 I can't. 1530 01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:55,400 Why are you saying I can't? You can, OK? 1531 01:10:55,440 --> 01:10:56,640 (VOICE BREAKING) No, I can't. 1532 01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:57,760 Don't...there's no time... 1533 01:10:57,800 --> 01:10:59,960 Daddy, I...I'm serious. 1534 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,520 I'm serious. Watch your step over, OK? 1535 01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:03,680 You don't say I can't. 1536 01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:04,920 No! OK? You can. 1537 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,560 Don't... Don't say I can't. We can. 1538 01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:08,040 But no, Daddy, I can't. 1539 01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:12,840 Go away. 1540 01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,920 What's the matter? What's the matter? 1541 01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:21,120 It's really hard. 1542 01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:22,560 I hear you. I hear you. 1543 01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,320 Hello, mate. I need your help, Pepper. 1544 01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:30,040 There you go. He needs your help. 1545 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:31,240 He can't do this... No. 1546 01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:32,360 He can't do this without you, baby. 1547 01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:33,440 No. 1548 01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:36,240 It's OK. 1549 01:11:36,280 --> 01:11:37,920 It's OK. Aw! 1550 01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:43,320 Five deep breaths and come back, please. 1551 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:44,360 OK? 1552 01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:46,080 I gave her some time to think about it, 1553 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,600 have deep breaths and for her to make the decision 1554 01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:50,800 to come back and join the...the family. 1555 01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:52,520 I did it all bad. 1556 01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:54,520 No, you didn't, mate. You did it really well. 1557 01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:56,080 Yeah, you did a really good job. 1558 01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:00,840 You alright, Jason? 1559 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,040 God, it's just very hard to watch that, to be honest. 1560 01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:04,680 Is what happens with lighthouse 1561 01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:07,640 that because you are sometimes sort of hands-off and step away, 1562 01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:10,680 Pepper always takes on the responsibility? 1563 01:12:10,720 --> 01:12:11,760 Yeah. 1564 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:15,320 You know, our goal was to raise a strong independent woman 1565 01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:19,480 and, um, in that we have given her responsibility 1566 01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:22,280 and so, she's always sort of taken on that role. 1567 01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:24,360 It's kind of almost habitual now. 1568 01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:26,480 Is that a pressure for her? 1569 01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:28,920 Sometimes. Yeah, definitely sometimes for sure. 1570 01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:31,520 But this was a really awesome exercise for us 1571 01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,360 because we didn't realise how little responsibility 1572 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,240 we actually give her brothers and sister. 1573 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,760 The sibling relationship can be one of the most important 1574 01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:46,000 and long-lasting relationships of our lives. 1575 01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:48,840 We owe it to our children to help them 1576 01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:50,320 to learn to work together, 1577 01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:54,040 to help each other and to look out for one another. 1578 01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:56,000 The way we treat our children in relation 1579 01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:58,880 to each other can set them up to be a leader, 1580 01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:01,600 a follower or a team member for life. 1581 01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:08,360 Focus parents, thank you so much for sharing how you do parenting. 1582 01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:10,560 Panel, it is time to hear your thoughts. 1583 01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:14,480 Who showed the most parenting prowess tonight? 1584 01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:17,400 Remember, you're voting on your favourite parenting style 1585 01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:18,880 of the night. 1586 01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:20,360 Please write down your votes 1587 01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,520 and we'll come around and collect them. 1588 01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:25,280 For the family photo shoot, 1589 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,400 the lighthouse family stood out for me personally 1590 01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:29,440 because they're giving their children 1591 01:13:29,480 --> 01:13:31,560 that agency to have that independence 1592 01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:33,080 and it's a lot of confidence building. 1593 01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:34,520 Yeah, it's a lot of confidence building. 1594 01:13:36,280 --> 01:13:39,040 I love seeing the gentle parenting style 1595 01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:40,120 making the cake. 1596 01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:43,720 They are incredibly patient with their children 1597 01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:45,000 and the time that they give them. 1598 01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:50,280 We've gone back and forth quite a lot. 1599 01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:54,720 What really sealed the deal for us is the way Kat is really honest 1600 01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,920 and open with her children all the time. 1601 01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:00,400 She is straight to the point and there's no fluff. 1602 01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:03,240 I think the outback parents are awesome. 1603 01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:05,120 I have no criticism at all. 1604 01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:08,080 With the online gaming challenge, it's a massive issue. 1605 01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:10,280 I think Wyatt definitely nailed the challenge. 1606 01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,480 Just the fact that he said his name was Elizabeth. 1607 01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:13,560 He was savvy. 1608 01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:19,200 Based on the challenges the panel has seen so far, 1609 01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:20,280 the parents 1610 01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:23,680 with the best parental guidance tonight are... 1611 01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,880 Tency and David, our outback parents. 1612 01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:35,400 (APPLAUSE) 1613 01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:40,320 Thanks, guys. 1614 01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:41,520 (LAUGHS) 1615 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,120 We're shocked. Yeah. 1616 01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:46,040 We came here to learn 'cause we're all about 1617 01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:47,880 evolving in our parenting, 1618 01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:50,440 but it was really nice to know that people think 1619 01:14:50,480 --> 01:14:52,400 we are doing an OK job. 1620 01:14:52,440 --> 01:14:57,760 I just wanna say how impressed I am with every parent in this room. 1621 01:14:57,800 --> 01:15:00,640 You are showing us how much you love your kids 1622 01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:04,280 and how determined you are to do better every single day. 1623 01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:08,360 That is what being a great parent is really all about. 1624 01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,760 Just like parenting, the only thing we can promise 1625 01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,880 is every day brings a new challenge. 1626 01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:16,920 Tomorrow night, we'll see the rest of the focus parents' 1627 01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:19,280 challenges and then decide 1628 01:15:19,320 --> 01:15:23,440 which of these four parenting styles will go through to the next round. 1629 01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:28,640 Parents, this might be really triggering. 1630 01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:34,320 VOICEOVER: The controversial issue that will divide Aussie parents. 1631 01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:35,520 Hey, give me my hat back. 1632 01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:38,520 How do you deal with a bully? 1633 01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:41,120 Avoid the conflict, or, step up. 1634 01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:44,400 I'd be like, "Mate, high five. Good job." 1635 01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:45,440 Stick up for yourself. 1636 01:15:45,480 --> 01:15:46,720 (GROANING) 1637 01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:48,680 Tomorrow, 7:30... 1638 01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:49,960 Yeah, baby. 1639 01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:54,360 ..the show that helps Aussie families tackle the red-hot issues. 1640 01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:56,120 So proud. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1641 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:58,120 I'm so proud. And they're not my kids. 1642 01:15:58,160 --> 01:15:59,160 (LAUGHS) 1643 01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:00,640 New Parental Guidance, 1644 01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:04,720 tomorrow, 7:30 on Nine and Nine Now.