Previously on Parental Guidance...
(SCREAMS)
..our first focused parents
leapt into action to find Australia's best parenting style.
Hi, my girl.
But hot button issues...
If you're getting attacked and I can smack someone in the face,
I'll be like, mate high five.
..saw temperatures rise.
A lot of young boys die from being king hit in the face.
With all this sort of bullying happening, if you run away,
good chance you're going to get king hit.
Then our panel picked their favourite.
Kat. And our first to go through to the final.
I'm very rarely speechless.
Tonight, four new parenting styles...
Our parenting style is influencer.
Team parents. Spiritually.
Stage parents.
..are on a collision course,
Stop! (CLANK)
..as they explore parenting...
Tell me, where does the babies come from?
They come from the belly.
Are you blocking your ears right now?
..in the digital age.
Our rules around technology are basically non-existent.
I'm curious what age you gave your kids an account.
Maybe nine.
She's up to 500,000 followers now.
Hey Justin, what's the one thing you wish
you'd known before becoming a parent?
Oh, so many.
That going to the bathroom in private
was going to be a thing of the past, definitely.
What about you?
That a full night's sleep will become
the equivalent of winning the lottery.
No, actually there is a lot to love about parenting.
Yeah, there is.
School drop-off's my favourite part.
You're terrible.
Parents! Kajal, Deepak, nice to see you.
Sarah and Shane.
Hi.
We've got Jonathan and Kat with us as well, Mark and Leanne.
Hey. Focus parents, welcome.
Panel parents, welcome back.
It's so good to have you here.
Welcome to The Avengers of parenting.
Focus parents, you voted as part of the panel last time,
now you're in the hot seat.
I'm excited.
I just want to see the challenges.
You want to find out whether your kids did better
than everyone else's. A hundred percent!
Panel parents, some of you were in the spotlight
last time, now we need you to be taking notes.
Once we've seen our focus parents go through their challenges,
you'll be voting for one set of parents
from the spotlight to be joining Kat,
our honest parent, to go through to the final challenge.
OK, let's get to know our focus parents.
Sarah, Shane, what's your parenting style?
We are stage parents.
We encourage our children's individuality,
creativity and independence.
Show me your best dramatic face.
I'm a drama teacher.
And I run a theatre company.
Spread out into a semi-circle.
We're going to make a dance.
Stage parenting is mostly fun.
When it comes to performing, I think a lot of parents
think their kid is better than what they are.
Ok, my turn.
I'm probably the other way around.
I'm more critical of my children and of course,
they've had a lot more training than the average child
because I pick on everything they do.
Nice.
Talent alone is useless if you don't practise it.
You know, a bike gets rusty if you don't ride it, it's that simple.
Let's go to Deepak and Kajal, tell us about your parenting style.
We are spiritual parents.
We believe that our children are sparks of the divine
and we look towards
Lord Krishna, or God, to guide us with our
parenting and everything else we do.
ALL: Cheese!
Spiritual parenting means parenting
to the needs of the child on the physical level,
on the intellectual level and also on the spiritual level.
This is the heart of our house.
This is the spiritual room and you can see that's Krishna over there,
our personal God.
In regards to parenting style, Lord Krishna says treat me
as you treat your child or treat your child as you would treat me.
(CHANTING)
It's not just us raising kids, the kids are raising us spiritually.
OK, let's go to Jonathan and Kat.
We are influencer parents.
We lead by example and we use technology
to really connect rather than separate.
Three, two, one.
So I am a social media influencer.
Hey guys, let's make a summer salad.
We take an influencer approach to parenting.
Nice.
Both our children have social media accounts.
You ready? I'm ready.
If you've been on TikTok, if you've been on Instagram and you've seen
some really successful people on how they use the platform,
the future is only going to move more in that direction.
Oh yeah, that was so good.
Screenshot it? Yeah.
I have heard people tell me to get my kids off TikTok,
to get them off Instagram, but I think education is key.
Teaching my kids what to look out for
and keeping them safe is important.
OK, let's go to Mark and Leanne.
Mark and I are team parents.
We love working together and supporting each other,
raising our little tribe, and we've always got each other's backs.
Three, two, one! (ALL CHEER)
We have six children and we're trying to raise them
like our little own footy team.
Oh. Was that a knock on? No. Get him!
I'm a coach in rugby league so our family is a sporting team family
and that's how we parent.
Play on. Touch back there, back there.
We raise our children like we do on the sporting field, rugby league.
We bring them all together, we're the leaders and they follow.
Hang on, we need to go to the video ref.
We believe respect, repetition, discipline,
they are all the fundamentals that make our team what we are.
Yep. Yes!
Great, focus parents, you're in the hot seat.
We have four contrasting parenting styles we're going to learn
about tonight, so let's get into the first challenge.
It's not fair.
How do you avoid hearing it when only one child can have a turn?
We sent your family to a wildlife park and then gave
only one child the opportunity to feed a cute animal.
In this challenge, we're looking at how our families deal with
disappointment when only one person can have a turn.
Yes, it's unfair.
What are we going to do about it?
Does the family support one another or enter tantrum territory?
Oh, I got a text.
It's feeding time at the zoo. Only one person can do the feeding.
Who will it be?
Oh.
This challenge will examine how our parents
manage emotions in an unfair situation.
Who's held a koala before?
Me. Me. I don't know if I have.
It must be time for Zion to do it then.
No, no, me!
Well, you've already done it.
But I haven't fed one.
River's a bit disappointed
because he's very excited about these things.
I wish I could go in there.
Give me that koala.
Can I get off you?
I don't mind. Yes.
But stay close because... (RIVER FUSSING)
River...
Calm down.
As stage parents, we know that some of the drama
that the kids create is just that, drama.
100% it comes from wanting to be the centre of attention.
We're all attention seekers, and so we tend to negotiate
things like that with a bit of diversion or humour.
They want us to eat, they don't put the sticks close enough.
Go down to that stick and you'll be able to reach.
I've never seen koala so animated.
f we can't diffuse it by comedy, then the law will be laid down.
Good job.
You have to be able to deal with someone else
getting some attention, not you.
That's not the problem.
What is then?
I just like the koalas.
We all do.
As soon as I get stern, that's it.
It's usually pretty instantaneous.
It works on me too.
There's some very hungry quokkas waiting to be fed.
So guys, who do you think, we have to choose one person.
Do you want to feed?
Who should feed?
I think Krishna.
You're OK for it? Yeah, OK.
Are you OK for Krishna to do it? Yeah.
Alright, so it's you. Let's do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
As spiritual parents, selflessness is a very important,
integral part of our quality that we try to promote within us.
So who wants to come in and help me feed today?
I'll go. Alright, do you want to bring a parent with you?
OK, Mum.
Alright, come on in then.
This nature of selflessness teaches us
that we are always there to serve
and making others happy is actually very important for our own goodness.
What does it feel like? Soft.
I wanna go inside.
I think Mridula had a longing to pat
but it did not translate into disappointment.
While she didn't get a chance,
she also enjoyed watching and being happy for the brother.
Well, let's talk about Deepak and Kaajel
and how you handled this experience.
Looking at your spirituality and you've had a platform
to instill your child's reaction in that situation.
She felt disappointed but within that moment
it transitioned into happiness for her brother.
The only thing I was saying was let kindness guide you
and if they do something which you are not happy with,
we just ask the same question.
Was that kind?
Do you think we can improve on that?
Let's go to Sarah and Shane.
One thing I really liked is like you had
an effort to make the sideline fun.
Obviously, River's quite young as well and you're making
the sideline fun for him even though he wasn't in it.
I find if he's laughing, then life is much better for me.
Shane, you used distraction but then it did reach
a point where Sarah, you laid down the law.
I would never lay down the law straight away
but if it continues on, then there has to be a point where it stops.
You can have a firm mum tone, right?
Like, we've all got a firm mum tone but it felt just a bit too nasty.
It wasn't that at all.
As soon as they hit like six or over,
I think it's time that they should be able to control themselves.
I definitely had an issue with the language
that was being used by the stage parents.
I think shaming their children about their
emotions was really upsetting for me.
Coming up, a parenting style showdown...
You need to stop.
We would have approached that really, really differently.
..brings our parents to boiling point.
Now hold on. Just because you didn't get what you want
does not give you the right
to sit there and make everyone else feel bad.
It's not OK.
Then later, explicit content shocks the room.
He's a boy. When I hear the way this conversation is going,
I become a little concerned.
It's like total double standards.
And our panel decides which style is their favorite of the night.
The parents with the best parental guidance tonight are...
We've just seen two of our families manage
emotions in an unfair situation.
Let's take a look at two more parenting styles.
Do you want to hold a koala?
Yeah. I think we let Tisha have a go this time.
Well, are you going to get sad if your sister holds a koala?
No. You're going to let her hold one?
Yeah.
Alright.
With influencer parenting, our approach
to disappointment is just being open
and honest and letting the kids know that
life isn't always going to be fair.
Because of my social media profile growing so quickly,
there's so many people that recognise our family
out and about, so being mindful of how we treat other people,
how we act in public and setting an example to our kids,
it's very, very important.
Hey, guys. So who's the one person that's holding today?
Tisha. Oh, my goodness.
Look at how sharp those claws are.
Aww, she's cute.
Wow.
Would you want to have held it?
Yeah.
Because it was so cute and fluffy and Deja really wanted to touch it,
the disappointment did set in.
It is so soft. I wish you could feel it.
I'm so jealous.
I want one for my own now.
You want a koala as a pet?
Yeah. Not possible.
Are we all excited? Yes.
What do we want to see at the zoo?
Bobby, what are you looking forward to seeing at the zoo?
With the team parenting style and managing unfairness,
I think we talk through it.
Look, at the end of the day every now and then
there's going to be some unfairness that does unfold.
Brooklyn, you're feeling the penguins.
Yay! We have six kids.
We've raised them to be competitive.
Nobody gets along with each other 100% of the time.
They all love each other as much as they hate each other.
Who's going to be feeding the penguins today?
Alright, so we'll need Brooklyn in with one parent.
Do you want me to hold Bailey?
Mum's been selected. OK, I'll do this one.
Yeah, come to Dad, come to Dad, please.
Because she's going to scream or they might...
Mum!
Matt, can you help, please? She doesn't want me to carry her.
She's going to scream. OK, I will carry both.
So come this way, guys.
Oh, look at them.
They look so cute.
(CHILD SCREAMS)
Don't scream, don't scream.
Bobbi and Bailey were so disappointed
that they couldn't feed the penguins.
They were very upset. They were very upset.
Look, here we go. I want to feed the penguins.
You're too young to feed the penguins
because they'll bite your fingers off.
You have to stop crying.
With the team parenting style and managing tantrums,
we've got to negotiate that on a daily basis.
You have to stop crying.
OK, I'm gonna take you back to the car then.
No!
Then you need to stop.
Do you not understand that?
That's enough now.
You need to relax. You need to calm down, OK?
Alright, thank you.
OK, now that you're calm, now we can talk, yes?
You are too young to feed the penguins.
You need to be patient and you need to behave.
Good listening, now let's go back and watch the penguins.
Let's go back and watch the penguins.
I tell you what, it's more unfair when they've got six kids
and you've got two with a big age gap.
Let's open it to the panel.
What are our thoughts watching that?
You were just nailing it, like one up here, one down here.
We're going for a walk.
We'll leave here if we need to and it worked.
We would have approached that really,
really differently but I'm curious because you said things like,
"Stop crying, calm down. You need to behave."
Yeah.
I guess I'm curious why crying isn't behaving.
For me, if my kid cried over something
that I thought wasn't something reasonable enough
to listen to that tantrum and the next time
I did it and they cried again the same way,
the first time they did that, because I haven't
corrected that action with them or discussed
why they've done that they're going to have the same reaction next time.
In my household, that's not acceptable.
I think what you're saying is when they're crying,
it's a moment for you to comfort them and be with them
and it's not necessarily about the behaviour.
It's about comforting them in the moment and maybe there's
another chance after that to speak about the behaviour.
Again though, if every time they want comfort then,
are they going to cry to you?
Are they going to react that way so you give them a cuddle?
They're three.
But if they're three, is that a bad thing?
That's unacceptable.
Yeah.
Just because you didn't get what you want, does not give you
the right to sit there and make everyone else feel bad.
I guess my point here is why is crying unacceptable?
So if our children fall over and they cry, straight up,
cuddle them, hug them, "Oh, baby, baby."
But if you're going to cry because you're not
going to get a lollipop, not in this household.
If you're going to cry over your sibling getting
to do something, that's not OK either.
You've got to be happy for that sibling,
be happy that Brooklyn was feeding that penguin.
If you're not feeling happy, then being told to
be happy is essentially being told to lie.
I'm just going to kind of bring this back
a step because it's the same sort of behaviour,
they're reacting poorly to a situation for that attention.
So if every time that same situation happened, you got smacked,
would you rectify that or would you sit there and let them work
their anger out by smacking you and then rectify that afterwards?
Well, it's the same thing to me.
Is there not a place to let out that feeling
and then move on and feel happy for it?
Why is crying a bad behaviour?
Why is screaming a bad behaviour?
Why is getting yelled at by your kids are bad behaviour?
Do you see how this can keep escalating?
I think if it keeps happening,
you then need to actually start to explore
why it's happening
because if they're seeking a comfort through that,
well, maybe they're not getting comforted in other ways.
We're all responsible for how we control those emotions.
At the end of the day, if you're going to cry
every time something goes wrong,
you sort of just, you're going to be sitting
in the corner crying a lot, really.
In our household, there's got to be an understanding
that not everybody gets what they want
and crying is not going to solve the situation.
But I guess for me, I think crying
is the expression of that disappointment.
But how long are you going to let them cry for?
An hour, two hours, we don't have time for that.
Respecting your kid also means respecting their emotions.
So not ignoring it at all but also not shutting it down.
How long do you let them cry for?
Well, it usually would only take 4 or 5 minutes.
They're looking for attention, it's not OK.
Mark and Leanne, let's just stop for a sec.
There are some important things
that are worth really talking about here.
Would you be up for a chat outside?
The room is getting too heated.
I need to get Mark and Leanne out and into a place
where they can listen and learn something important.
Mark and Leanne, the room's getting too heated.
Let's just stop for a sec.
Would you be up for a chat outside?
Grab a seat.
I would love to talk to you about what just happened.
You have to stop crying.
I'm going to take you back to the car then. No!
Then you need to stop.
There are a couple of ways that we might be able to work with
our kids when they're having these big emotions that could be
more effective and help your family to function better.
But I want to spin the conversation to you for a moment, Leanne.
Yep. Imagine that you're having a bit of a moment emotionally
and Mark looks at you and says, "Leanne, stop it.
"Be quiet, that's enough.
You need to settle down."
Would you look at him and smile and say,
"Good point, honey, I am overreacting."
Oh, no, not at all. No, no, no.
My Maltese arms would be flying everywhere.
I think my hair would be going this way
from the amount of breeze would be coming from her voice.
Yeah, yeah.
When we're talking with our partner or with our kids
and they're having a big emotion, other than giving them space,
one of the most powerful things that we can do
is just to say what we see.
There's a phrase that psychologists have been using for decades called,
'If you can name it, you can tame it.'
So imagine that Bailey is having this fit and you said,
"Oh, sweetheart, Bailey,
"you're so upset because you're not getting to feed
the penguins" and then you don't say another word.
How might she respond then?
She might start to probably slow down a bit
because she knows that I know she's upset and the reasons why.
Yeah, would she be like, "Oh, I'm upset and Dad knows exactly why."
Yeah. We call this process emotion coaching.
When our children are having these big moments,
they either need some form of validation
or they need some space, or both.
No one wants to be told to calm down.
If someone needs to calm down so that a conversation can be had,
by naming the emotion, the child will feel understood and secure
and then they can begin to tame that emotion on their own.
Thanks, guys.
Good chat? Great chat.
Life is unfair, that's the reality, but parents have an obligation
to teach their children socially acceptable behaviours.
If a child is losing the plot, then the parent has an obligation
to teach that child that while those emotions might be acceptable,
there's a way that we're expected to behave in public
or at Grandma's house
or down at the park or whatever it might be.
The more emotional somebody is,
the harder it is to actually communicate with them.
We need to help them to regulate their emotions
so that we can have a problem-solving conversation.
The greatest human need is not to be loved, but to be understood.
OK, we've just had our first glimpse into our
new focus parents, so I think it's time
to look a little deeper at Jonathan
and Kat's parenting style, our influencers.
Influencer parenting works on two levels.
It's about using social media and technology
as opportunities for connection
but it's also about influencing kids through
role modeling rather than direction.
Hi, I'm Jonathan. I'm Kat.
Welcome to our home.
Come on in. We take an influencer approach to parenting.
Hey guys, we're going to make a simple summer salad.
I'm on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and TikTok.
I love adding rocket.
The content I like to create is just sharing my everyday life.
And that's it, you pop it in your fridge.
The importance of social media is massive.
Do I know you from TikTok?
Yeah.
I actually watch all your videos.
Oh, that's awesome.
I love that.
We teach our kids how to use social media appropriately,
what the pitfalls are but also what the opportunities are
and how to really use that tool to their advantage.
Having a digital profile and having a digital awareness about
how to interact on those platforms is massively advantageous.
Every profession in every facet of life can really
benefit from knowing how to use it effectively
and not to mention the monetary gain
that can be had with things like that.
Both our children have social media accounts.
What should we do next, guys?
I use Tik Tok, Instagram and Snapchat and on Instagram
I have 3000 followers and same on TikTok.
We were both raised by very strict parents
and we decided to raise our kids the complete opposite.
Where are you going?
Korean barbecue.
Jealous!
We don't want to be telling our kids what to do.
We don't want to be preaching to them
or yelling at them, because we're fun.
Alright, ready, set, go.
When I was a kid, I did everything I could to
not communicate with my parents.
Work it, work it.
So what I get out of creating content with my girls
is spending time with my kids
and it's having that more of an influential role
in your kids' upbringing.
Oh, my gosh, yes. Tag me. Tag me.
I loved how you said that it's important to
set an example on how you hold yourself
in a digital platform and it is a part of the world that we live in.
We don't have a TV or our kids don't get much tech at all.
I'm curious what age maybe like you gave your kids
an account or what you felt was appropriate.
Deja is 11 so she's been on social media
for a couple of years.
So yeah, maybe 9, 10.
Do you monitor what she posts and what comes into the account?
Yeah. So when she, like, asked us about getting an account,
we would monitor all her messages,
like, we would have access to everything
and we still do on some different platforms
and they're not just sitting there watching, they're creating stuff.
Is that intentional that they're not like
zoning out or how do you sort of know
how much creating and how much mindless scrolling
they might be doing?
I think it's more because of the way that we use it,
they sort of model that.
So we're not just mindless scrolling,
we're creating content ourselves
and we're interacting with family and friends a lot as well.
But do you want to do everything in your life for the likes?
Like is everything potential material for Instagram and TikTok?
Is it always in the back of your mind?
It's because it's my job,
so it feels like I have to be showing people my life.
I think it's a real worry to get wound up in the numbers of it.
Like he's got 10,000 or 100 million or...
But are the likes are important when you guys monetise it
so I imagine the likes are very important to you.
Do the kids monetise their platforms as well?
Tisha's just started because she's up to 500,000 followers now.
I guess what I'm probably struggling with a little bit
is children are learning to get validation
from complete strangers and we really try to teach
our kids that it's not physical appearance,
it's emotional intelligence and it's being kind
and it's having strength in life
and that's sort of the driving force behind things,
not people's opinion of you.
What it is, it's how we lay the foundation
and letting them know that they are more than
their Instagram profile or their TikTok profile.
In reality, they are going to have a TikTok profile and they
are going to have an Instagram profile and you can't like,
as much as you think you can control that, you can't.
No, they're not going to.
Being able to educate our children on how to use
social media is so important because a lot of parents
that are taking social media off their kids
are doing it because they don't know how it works.
To be on social media at nine.
That really was really a bit of a concern for me.
It's definitely something I would
not want to happen with our children.
When kids are accessing social media,
they need to have the social skills and capacity
to use it safely and healthily.
We all know some adults who can't do that
so expecting young kids to do that,
it's going to be a bit of a trick.
Your kids will find a way to be on social media,
it's better to be open about it and to monitor.
Therefore as parents we've got to be actively involved,
having conversations,
guiding their social media use and knowing what's going on.
Coming up, an X-rated topic...
Look, at the end of the day, boys are curious.
So do you think deleting the browser history is lying?
..heats up the room.
That was really uncomfortable that it's OK for your sons
to objectify someone else's daughter?
And later...
Are you ready to find out what they're thinking so far?
..our panel votes for their favourite parents of the night.
In the search for the best parenting style,
we need to see more from you, focus parents.
Panel parents, grab those journals, we need you to be taking notes.
Once we see all the challenges, you're going to vote for the focus
parents you'd like to see face the final family challenge.
How kids navigate the internet safely
is one of parenting's greatest issues.
We gave you a laptop for your kids to research online.
The laptop was pre-programmed to make
a pop-up appear to ask your kids whether
they were over 18 or not
and whether they wanted to access adult content.
Do they click yes or do they click no?
The biggest concern for most families
is keeping their kids safe online.
In this challenge, we're looking to see what our
parents have taught their kids about explicit content
and whether or not an online temptation
is going to be too much to resist.
Now, just to assure everybody, no one actually
saw anything they shouldn't have.
Let's see if your kids know how to be safe online.
Do your kids know how to research in the technology age?
Ask your child to use a laptop to find out all about Uranus.
How big is Uranus?
What gases are found in Uranus?
Why can't people live in Uranus?
This challenge will examine what our focus parents
have taught their kids about being tech-savvy.
Facts about Uranus.
I work in IT industry, I try to use that
to an advantage with our kids.
Uranus was discovered in 1781.
I've had conversations with the children
on how they should be using it.
Uranus has the third...
KAJAL: Mridula. Coming.
Make sure you spell it properly.
Some quite spicy things could have come up on the internet.
We'll leave this one up to you, Deja.
Yeah, let's go.
So our influencer parenting approach to the internet is to teach
our kids to make sure they're looking at age-appropriate stuff.
Yeah, good luck.
And to let us know if anything does come up
that they shouldn't be looking at.
Why can't people live on...
Our rules around technology are basically non-existent
and that's because we trust our kids.
We trust them because they've shown us
to be completely capable and responsible.
You can't restrict your kids from using the internet.
I think our role as parents is to educate them
on how to use it and how to use it safely.
I think you guys did an amazing job, both families, very well done.
I like the way Jonathan and Kat, you approached it
with trusting your children so much.
We tend to do the same thing.
We just have an open door policy that her bedroom door is open.
And you guys have no rules around this, do you?
No, because we've educated them so if anything was
to pop up or if they were unsure of anything,
I know they would come to us and tell us.
What if something does pop up?
Like, if there is an image that comes up on screen,
so like a pornographic image or whatnot.
How do you, I guess once it's there, it's there,
you can't then remove it from,
it's ingrained into their memory then.
I know that my daughter would come to me.
But she's already seen it.
Whether she sees it on my computer or at school
or at her friend's place, on the phone,
she's going to see that.
So Jonathan just to what you're saying,
are you saying it is then a necessary evil
that you are just going to see stuff when you are online?
I think you're going to... Yeah, definitely.
You are going to see stuff and things are going to
pop up and it may not be you,
it may be your friend or maybe some in some other situation.
I think it's more about educating the child on what to do
when that happens and how to handle the situation
when it arises, rather than shielding them completely
from it because I don't think that's possible.
Just like we found Playboy magazines
in our parents' room when we were younger.
I found one under my bed recently.
Mark, is this your Playboy? "No, it's not."
Oh.
Let's move on and have a look at our other
two families who have teenage boys.
If the kids did say yes, the browser simply shut down.
Oh good.
Studies show that teenagers are far more likely than younger
children to actively seek out explicit content.
I'm expecting some 'yes' clicks here.
Hey, hey, hey.
What? What? What?
We have something special for one of you to do.
We've picked the child that loves planets the most.
I did make a solar system in Year Five, so.
All right, Matt, you're up.
If you can tell me what Uranus looks like, that'd be awesome.
I think we'd like to think that our kids would behave online.
Good luck. Find out as much as you can.
I will. You know, we've had those conversations with our children
in regards to behaviour and what's appropriate
and what's not appropriate.
In regards to our boys, who share a room
looking up dodgy content, 100% they would.
Not being rude here, but I know it was like as a kid.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, no doubt.
In regards to our boys, who share a room,
looking up dodgy content, 100% they would.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, my god.
Deleting his browsing history.
Oh, you're done, my boy. How'd you go?
I went good. Yeah? Yeah.
In my opinion, I went pretty good.
My question is do you actually know more about Uranus now?
Yeah, I do.
Yes.
How much do you know about Uranus?
It has a ring around it.
In the stage parenting style, our children definitely
spend a fair bit of time online.
We would like you to do some research on your own.
We want you to expel as much information as you can from Uranus.
Our kids do know how to interact in the online community.
Online safety is important to us but we trust our kids.
They're tech-savvy enough to be able to cope
with just about any situation.
Oh, naughty boy.
It is the only planet to be able...
What!
There's some expectation
that if anything weird pops up on the screen,
they talk to us about it straight away.
Hey. How'd you go, champ?
It was pretty good.
It rains diamonds, and it's a really boring planet.
Great.
When we look at the data globally
when it comes to explicit content,
teenage boys are the number one consumer of this content
in the world, boys aged 14 to 17.
And I think pretty much every family sitting at home
with teenage boys sitting there going,
"Uh-huh, I know what our boys would do too."
So do you think deleting the browser history is lying?
Matthew was upfront and honest with me
that night and at the dinner table he said,
"Mum, just to let you know, when I was googling Uranus,
"'yes or no' came up about under 18 and I pressed yes."
He has definitely hidden his history browser before,
he did that really quickly.
And then I said, "Matt, why did you do that?"
And he said, "I don't know.
I just wanted to see what would happen."
I like the fact that he just told you about it.
100%, 100% as soon as he told me, I'm like "Matt,
"now we're going to go on the show
and we're going to be criticised for it."
That's not what this is about at all.
I mean, we look at the first two families and we're looking at
11-year-old girls and we're now talking about teenage boys.
Can I ask you, Sarah and Shane, when Zion came out
he didn't mention anything about what had happened,
did he fess up that he had clicked yes?
No. Nothing.
I mean, I'm actually fine, he's a boy, we discussed pornography,
all that kind of stuff. I know that he's seen it.
I mean, look, at the end of the day, boys are curious.
They're going through that sort of stage in their life.
So if your daughter was doing it,
do you think she would have clicked yes or no?
No, she's not that type of person.
Can I ask, do we have different standards then for girls and boys?
Maybe it's just a bit of a cultural norm that it's OK
for boys to do that but we'd be surprised if the girls did.
Well I think girls get tarnished for
being explicit and for being sexual.
Yeah, for sure.
That was really uncomfortable that it was fine.
It's, you know, "This is what teenage boys do, that's fine,
but my girls would never do that"
and that's like total double standard that it's OK
for your sons to objectify someone else's daughter.
Like that's what it comes down to, she's someone's daughter.
I think there are plenty of 15-year-old girls that would say,
yes, no problem, you know, wouldn't even...
I would have when I was 15.
I would have totally. You would expect
any child at 15 to press yeah, I'm good.
I'm 18, I got this, you know, I don't think there should be
an expectation for a teenager to go by the rules.
When I hear the way this conversation is going,
I become a little concerned.
The pornographic material of 2022 is vastly different
to the pornographic material of the 1980s, 1990s.
The internet has accelerated, magnified and amplified
some of the worst aspects of what was already a seedy industry.
We're dealing with this at a society-wide level.
The average age of exposure to pornographic material is 11.
Research shows that youth who viewed pornography once a month
or more are at significantly greater risk of developing depression,
anxiety and importantly, unrealistic ideas about sexual relationships.
The research is clear, consumption of explicit content has a negative
impact on intimacy and healthy, respectful relationships.
As parents, it's critical that we start having conversations
with our kids about this issue from about the age of nine.
Now let's remind ourselves why we're here.
It's really all about the kids, right?
We ask them all about you and you just never know
what they're going to say, do you?
Encouraging.
They are nice and caring for us and they look after us good.
Crazy.
Weird, very weird.
Yes, and all of my friends love his hair.
He's really fit and buff.
He's like Shane the Rock Johnson.
Funny, he always tells dad jokes.
One time in the middle of the night, my dad farted very loudly.
I like how she can be really nice sometimes.
Because when we're playing footy,
she's always there watching us, screaming.
Like "Billy!"
I think I want to be like my mum because she's like
an influencer and like, she's really rich.
Oh, my god, Deja!
God.
My mum. Definitely Mum. Mummy.
Dad. Dad.
Just so we all know, I'm the boss of the family, not Mark.
We know, babe, we know.
Not according to the kids, Leanne.
Next...
Tell me if I'm going to hit the car.
You might.
It's cruise control chaos.
You're going to hit the car, stop!
Oh, my god. Watch out, Mum! (CLANK)
And a communication breakdown.
Are we all just going to ignore the fact
that you dropped the F-bomb?
This is a hot button topic, swearing in front of the kids.
We don't swear.
We live in the real world.
We're here to find the best parenting style in Australia.
Today, I mean, we've already learnt so much
I think about each other as parents,
but I reckon it is time to take a deep dive
into Deepak and Kajal's spiritual parenting.
Spiritual parenting focuses on raising kids to have gratitude,
a strong moral compass, and a purpose to serve others.
While this type of parenting is often based in religion,
it is more about the emotional and internal growth of the children.
ALL: Namaste. Welcome to our spiritual house.
Spiritual parenting means parenting
to the needs of the child on the physical level,
on the intellectual level, and also on the spiritual level.
(CHANTING IN HINDU)
Coming from a Hindu background,
what spirituality means to us is that we are all spirits.
We start with an invocation prayer, (SPEAKS IN HINDU).
So our job as parents is to guide our children in the overall journey.
(SINGING IN HINDU)
And so what we teach them is to be honest,
be kind, don't hurt each other.
The only routine we say we have,
we spend some time of the day in gratitude,
in praying, in chanting, for the growth of our inner selves.
How is it? Yummy.
Living with the parents, Kamal and my mum, Dharma
has its advantages because we can see that our
children are learning from their grandparents.
Let us always be grateful for all the love
and care that our family constantly showers on us.
Our children, I believe are very old souls.
As parents, there are times when we are not the bosses.
It's not just us raising kids, the kids are raising us spiritually.
They teach us every day.
Every day.
We all learn from each other.
Yes.
So you see the beautiful lesson we learned from this story?
Yes. What should we do? Always be grateful family.
Yeah, so you understand the lesson?
Yeah.
I think nowadays it's really good to give children another dimension.
It's almost like mindfulness at school.
I mean, it's deeper than that obviously.
Having a strong sense of self and being able
to be spiritual and have that
to lean on is something that you need in a hectic, busy, crazy life.
As spiritual people, we believe the whole world is a teacher.
Every situation is a teacher.
So it's not confined to a religious book or religious text
or even a congregation on Sundays.
Spiritual is something on the inside only.
Externals don't matter, it's the spirit.
It's the intention.
And everyone, I believe, can have a pure intention.
Your parents live in the house with you.
Can I ask people's thoughts on that?
And then if you put yourself in that situation.
Who'd be happy with their parents living with them
and how that changes the dynamic?
It wouldn't be healthy for anyone.
You know, in that situation, it's beautiful.
In our situation, it's Nightmare on Elm Street type of stuff.
It's terrible.
Yeah, I think it's like so valuable to have generations living together.
In Asia, they do that so well.
And I feel like in the West here, we're kind of missing out on that.
Our children are missing out.
We're missing out on the wonderful experiences
of living with generations.
And we can see that our kids have actually grown from
this influence of grandparents in their lives.
It's also, again, it's us letting go of our complete 100% parenting.
If circumstances allow it,
having grandparents involved in raising your kids
can provide great support for you
and a wise perspective for your children.
Of course, even though it takes a village to raise a child,
you might not want the entire village living under the one roof.
Alright, who's ready for another challenge?
Yeah.
Being a parent can sometimes feel like
we're always going backwards, right?
So we gave you the reverse park challenge.
We put you in the driver's seat to reverse
parallel park while the kids directed you.
All the parents have to do is support their kids
and pay attention to their directions.
Handing over control to our kids is really
important to their development.
When they feel trusted and heard, their sense of self-worth increases
and their relationship with their parents improves.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)
Oh, how much can you hand over control?
Park the car in the designated spot with your children guiding you in.
No mirrors or reverse cameras allowed.
In this challenge, we're looking to see
which parents can relinquish control.
Good god. Oh.
And trust their children to communicate effectively.
Deja, how do you think you'll go?
Guess what, River, you're going to get out and help us.
What?
(DRAMATIC VOICE) Two adults at the mercy of
three inexperienced children.
What could happen?
If I can go a little bit further back, you have to go like this.
And if I need to stop, you have to go like that, OK?
I think our parenting style has prepared
our children for this challenge really well
because they're used to communicate
their ideas clearly and effectively.
I need to go forward? Yeah.
That looks like a forward signal to me.
No, back.
Stop. Stop, stop.
Tell me if I'm gonna hit the car. You might.
(LAUGHTER) You can't go any further.
Can I go forward now?
Are you going to do the same for this end?
Forward, forward. Barely any space.
OK. Park.
Well done! Are you happy with that?
Yeah, sure.
If everything else fails, you could be a parking attendant.
Mridula. Yeah.
You have to teach us how to park the car, like tell us.
Reverse, reverse left.
She said reverse.
OK.
As far as spiritual parenting goes...
Keep on going.
..we should rely on our kids more, like when they
have an opinion, when they have a voice,
be attentive to their voice.
This way, go left.
She is saying that way... Left.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Toward me. This way is opposite.
OK.
I'm a side-seat driver, backseat driver, in head driver.
Rely on yourself as well as Mridula, but rely on yourself more.
Go a little bit back.
Back, stop.
Keep going a little bit. A little bit.
Stop. Yeah, reverse.
You're gonna hit the car. Stop!
Just straight, just go reverse. That's it.
You're gonna hit the car.
Go forward.
You're gonna hit the car!
(CLANK)
Hey!
Need to listen to her.
Oh, no.
Due to not listening to Mridula's instructions of stopping,
we thought we'd just sneak it in and no, we hit the car.
See how close it was.
Look at that mark you made there.
Oopsy. Oh, there.
So after you said "Stop," we, Mummy, reversed back more, ooh.
You hit the car!
Can we hide?
Could you hear your daughter?
I could definitely hear her.
She had incredible clear communication,
but I think you needed to
listen to her because she was giving really great instruction.
Absolutely.
And then you were saying, trust her.
But then you were saying to your wife, but don't.
Maybe look like there was clarity,
but I think there was a lot of blurred line there.
I think our biggest challenge was me.
I think you're right.
I want to pick up on this for just a moment as a parenting tip.
As the pressure increases, we speed up.
Have you noticed that?
And as the pressure goes up, our thinking becomes less clear,
we're less able to take in additional perspectives and be open to
what somebody else might be saying 'cause we know we're right.
Our children have perspectives that are valuable,
and they can give us excellent direction
if we're willing to stop thinking that we
know it all and overriding their voices.
Let's talk about how our stage parents handled that challenge.
I loved it. I thought you gave such clear instructions
at the start in terms of if they move,
show me with your hands or do this or do that.
But you gave up that control and he proved
that you can do that and trust him.
Alright, we have two more parenting styles to watch.
Ella Skye, you're the chosen one.
OK, so shall we start turning in now?
Yeah. OK, start turning.
Turn the wheel. Which way, Ella? Which way are we going?
Left. Left. Right, right.
No, you're going left, Ella.
Left. Hang on, now I'm confused.
No, turn right.
Our kids listen to us.
And we listen to our children.
After about the fifth or sixth time, they listen well.
You just tell us when to stop, Ella.
You're fine.
Someone... Watch out, Mum!
No, Matt, seriously.
(INDISTINCT) children talking to us at once, organised chaos.
Matt, this is not... I'm sorry.
Hey, stop, stop.
Stop, stop, stop, stop! (CLANK)
Oh, did I hit something?
OK, stop, stop.
Yeah, OK, that's... That's it?
Ells, you got us in! We're done.
You did it. Good job.
Woo!
(APPLAUSE)
OK, tell me when I'm near the curb, OK?
Yep, keep going.
You can go back more.
I feel like I am good at handing over control,
but sometimes I feel like I can just do it better.
Just tell me if I'm going to hit that car.
OK. You're going to hit it.
We got this, OK.
Stop! (BLEEP)
Turn straight now.
Yeah.
Sweet. We did it.
Yes.
Oh, my gosh.
Deja, that was super stressful.
OK, panel, your thoughts.
For the influencers, they have really
great communication with each other.
Kind of don't hold back and just say what it is, which is always good.
I like that.
The other the, other family was a little bit chaotic,
but I'm speaking from a one-child perspective.
I think it's worth highlighting.
Six children is so intense.
Yeah, it is.
You know what? I've actually never ever noticed, but watching that
like, gave me a headache.
It was like, wow!
Are we all just going to ignore the fact that you drop the F-bomb?
PANEL: Yeah.
This is a hot-button topic, swearing in front of the kids.
Where do Australian parents really belong on this one?
What's right and what's wrong when it comes to
swearing in front of the kids?
Look, depending on how it's used,
depending on the choice of word, I'm OK with it.
If it's sort of set in jest.
If you've got a relationship, if they know what's appropriate,
they're not gonna go at the shops and suddenly say that.
We don't swear ourselves and our kids do know some of those words,
but they also know we speak with kindness to other people.
And so I guess it's like using it towards other people
that would absolutely be crossing a line.
We live in the real world and you're
gonna hear swearing wherever you go.
We don't make it a habit to swear on purpose.
It comes out every now and then.
But our kids know not to swear and they don't go around
swearing in the house, F this, F that.
If you shelter kids and, you know, don't use that language,
it's kind of a big deal when they actually do swear.
And I don't swear a lot when I'm at home,
like that was a really intense situation.
A couple of quick thoughts from me on the swearing issue,
because coarse language,
explicit language is really a values-based issue,
there's not a lot of science that I can lean on here.
It's everywhere. Our kids are gonna be exposed to it.
There's no way that they can avoid it.
But in spite of that, the critical thing here
is that we teach them to be considerate because certain
audiences will not tolerate it and other audiences
are completely comfortable with it.
So context is everything.
So it really is about teaching children to think
beyond themselves and pass on to your children
the values that you hold dear when it comes to this kind of thing.
I have no problem with swearing.
I have a problem with how you swear.
The fact that she said it in such a casual, leisurely,
appropriate kind of way, it was all a bit of a laugh.
There was no one offended in that space.
I'm perfectly fine with that.
In our home, we are very mindful of what we say
and it's about swearing.
Other people are doing it.
For me, it's just the way the river flows,
the stream - that's the norm nowadays.
But we don't have to go along with the norm.
Still to come...
Do your kids know where babies come from?
One more challenge...
What's the girl's private part?
Venus? No.
..has our families fumbling in the dark.
That's not something that I want for you guys.
If something really bad was to happen,
we want them to be able to verbalise it.
And who will be voted best parenting style tonight?
We're up to our last challenge of the night,
and it's one that every parent across Australia will have to face.
The next challenge is you've got to help your kids answer
that classic curveball question - where did I come from?
So, we want to see how you've educated your children
about anatomy and sexual reproduction.
Google and the internet is the number one sex educator
in the world for our children.
Teaching our kids about where they came from
might seem like a daunting task,
but it doesn't have to be.
We're looking to see if our parents use proper anatomical terms
or just a bunch of stork talk.
Hold on to your perineums. We're about to get some life education.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)
Do your kids know where babies come from?
Let's find out.
You're going to test your kids on anatomy and reproduction.
Oh.
This will be very interesting.
It's very interesting.
In this challenge, we are testing what
our parents have taught their kids
about their bodies and how comfortable they are
talking about it.
What is the correct name for a girl's external private parts?
The reproductory system.
No, no, what is it? What is it?
Can Ella answer that one?
Ella, what's this called on your body?
Va, va...? Vagina.
Yes, ten points to Ella!
Officially, we haven't had those conversations.
They've probably Googled it all online, to be honest, themselves.
Do we all know what this is?
KIDS: No.
It looks like that source areola, aoila? Aioli. Aioli.
So, babies either come out of the women's...
Belly or bum.
Private? Yes.
Vagina? No.
That's where we wee from.
No, no, no, it does come out of the vagina.
What's that called where the babies come out from?
The vagina!
Mum, you have the experience, and it's right there.
It's right there. You should know this.
I'm going to have to learn more.
She's had six kids, but now she knows.
Question one, what is the correct name
for a girl's external private parts?
Vulva?
Our children are very much exposed to adult themes.
The first musical that Zion was in when he was eight years old,
he'd just turned eight, was Kinky Boots, which is about drag queens.
What is removed during a circumcision?
Foreskin! Five skin.
Foreskin. Five skin!
So, in the anatomy quiz, I think that they navigated it pretty well.
Wenus.
That's the elbow.
I keep my wenus right here.
Whoa.
So we want to go through what you know about the human body.
OK? It is a bit uncomfortable and awkward
speaking about reproductive health.
OK, tell me, where does the babies come from?
Show me.
They come from the belly.
And how do they come out?
I think it was good to test them out first.
Yes. To see what they knew.
What's the girl's private part?
Come on Mridula, try. Start with V.
Venus.
No.
That's a good try.
The female private part is called a vagina.
Vagina. Vagina.
KIDS: Vagina.
Yeah. I feel very awkward with that.
I was trembling saying the V word.
Alright, vulva.
Vulva or Volvo.
V-O-U-L...
Not V-O-U, it's V-U-L-V-A, vulva.
Yeah.
It's not a car.
Areola.
What's an areola?
Hindus were the creators of Kama Sutra,
it's quite an oxymoron that we don't discuss it.
Deepak, are you now comfortable with the V word?
Yes. OK, because I just wanna know,
we could do a bit of a vagina chant if you want.
Come on, it's a team-building exercise.
PANEL: Vagina.
Ooh! I tell you what.
I reckon we all got a little bit of life education.
Can I ask the panel, thoughts?
How do you think that what sort of expectations going forward
do you teach yourself or do you say, go read a book?
Our society is quite split.
There's a taboo based on our previous generation
and what, how we behave on such topics with our parents.
Even today, there will be parents in our sort of community
who probably point finger at us saying,
"How could you talk like that to your children?"
There will still be a taboo.
I expected the school sort of to do that,
the job that we sort of need to do.
It was also wrong. I guess we need to take responsibility.
So you guys have a cultural reason for perhaps
not being aware of the body parts.
Leanne and Mark, what's your excuse?
You know what?
With the picture where you were putting
the their names to it, my kids knew it all.
I knew nothing like I was seriously, I had my phone and I was Googling.
All I knew was the areola around your titties.
But I was...
They knew more than I did.
I would say not knowing after six kids that a baby
comes out of a vagina, it would give you a fail.
Let's talk about our stage parents.
We have a special book and it teaches the kids the anatomy.
And it says, "Emma has a vagina and a vulva."
And so it was all in the book.
Can I just ask our panel parents, who's sitting here
listening to this and thinking, you know what?
I need to go home, I need to have more of a conversation
with my kids about reproduction.
I think the sooner the better.
Like, normalise it, celebrate our bodies, like our bodies are amazing.
Like, my kids know when I have my period.
Like, this shouldn't be something that's weird or gross.
These are our normal, amazing bodies.
For us, it was more about we want them
to know the correct parts, the names,
where they are, because if something really bad was to happen,
we want them to be able to verbalise it.
Context is everything.
So sometimes these things are rude, but most of the time it's not rude,
especially if we're talking about it in the way
that it's supposed to be talked about.
And if our kids know that they can come to us
to have healthy and safe conversations,
they're going to make better decisions.
Children as young as four are ready to start learning some of
the details about where babies come from and how their bodies work.
So start early and have these conversations often
so they become a natural part of life.
Next...
That's not something that I want for you guys.
The life education continues.
Basically, just teaching them about the pill.
How to be safe.
Our influencer parents download.
They have an opportunity to choose how their life plays out.
And Kat never got that choice, it was forced upon her.
Then our panel parents decide which style
is their favourite of the night.
We've just watched three of our families squirm
through the birds and the bees chat.
Time to see how our other focus parents did in the same challenge.
We're going to see how much you know about where babies come from.
God.
Open communication in influencer parenting is just...
They can come to me about anything.
They can talk to me via text message.
They can even message me on Snapchat if they don't feel
comfortable talking to me face-to-face.
So whatever works for them, really.
Do you know where babies come from?
Yes. Yeah.
You do? Sperm.
So what happens with the sperm?
You told me they race.
They do race and then that winner is the baby.
The baby. Awesome.
The reason why I want you guys to know is because I want you
to be able to feel comfortable with your body.
And even though I was a teen mum,
that's not something that I want for you guys.
I think back to being a 17-year-old mum and I'm just mind-blown.
Like I don't know how I did it.
There was never really an opportunity for me
to go talk to my parents
because they were both super strict and very religious.
So it was just like out of the question,
like we don't talk about that.
So that's the best way to avoid that situation
is by knowing about your body and how it works.
Are you comfortable sharing with us, Kat,
like what you've told the girls about being a teen mum?
I just don't want them to be one.
Basically, just teach them about the pill, how to be safe.
I don't think I've had that conversation
with Deja as such, like in detail,
but when Tisha kind of hit 15, 16
just taught her about how to be safe.
Just because I wanted them to have a good life
and not saying that my life was bad,
but I didn't want them to be held back and I wanted them to go to uni,
get jobs, do all that sort of stuff.
We sort of just told them that they have an opportunity to choose
how their life plays out and Kat never got that choice.
It was forced upon her.
I was with a previous partner and it was a horrible relationship,
DV, like the works.
It was really bad.
You're actually being the person that you needed
when you were younger.
Yeah. And I just really resonated with your honest,
your very forthright approach with that
and I feel proud of you for doing that.
Thank you.
Hearing Kat tell her story about being a teen mum,
I do know what it's like to do things alone,
so I can't imagine as a younger person being able to do that.
Well done you for raising two beautiful girls.
Parents don't have these conversations.
Not nearly enough.
Research shows that we're not talking about body parts,
we're not talking about body safety,
we're not talking about procreation or reproduction nearly enough.
There does need to be a level of developmental appropriateness
to this.
We don't say the same things to our 16-year-old
that we say to our six-year-old.
Equipping our kids with knowledge is the best way to ensure respect,
consent and understanding when it comes to choices
about their bodies and reproductive health.
OK. Panel parents, when it comes to parenting,
everyone has something to say.
We want to see who you think has done best so far.
Time to put your votes down on paper.
I'm surprised I like the influencer family as much as I do.
Like, I really appreciate their approach.
It seems like they're quite well thought through
in terms of the big discussions that they're having.
I really love the spiritual parents.
What was really important to them they were doing with their children.
It wasn't separate to them, but the children were fully
included in what was most important to them.
Oh, hang on. We think the stage parenting style
is really invested in their kids.
They all have the same interests and they
all can do it together as a family.
It is time to collect your vote.
I think at this stage, I'm definitely
team parenting style because I really,
really love to see those children really, really happy and really,
really engaged in their family.
OK. Focus parents,
the panel parents have cast their votes.
Are you ready to find out what they're thinking so far?
The parents with the best parental guidance tonight are...
..Jonathan and Kat, our influencer style.
You took the vote tonight. (APPLAUSE)
Well done.
How are you feeling?
Oh, surprised?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. We thought everyone would hate us.
Social media, people can have a negative view of it,
but it was really refreshing that people actually like us.
Tomorrow night, we've got a brand new set of challenges.
I hope you're ready! And we'll be voting
for which of you will make the final.
VOICEOVER: Four new parenting styles go under the spotlight.
Welcome to our mad house.
Stage parents. Stage parents.
If you want to be a Hollywood actor, you need to watch what you eat.
Don't forget, neither of us eat carbs.
We all have amazing bodies,
regardless of how they might look on the outside.
But how will they all perform...
ALLY: The kids are home alone, and there's a fire.
..facing their toughest test yet?
It smells like it's on fire.
The life and death skills...
Smoke emergency!
..you need to teach your kids.
(COUGHING)