ALLY LANGDON (PRESENTS): This episode
of Parental Guidance contains
references to self-harm and mental illness.
Some viewers may find these topics challenging.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Parenthood is a wild ride.
Mum and dad are the best.
They make our day.
We love you. We love you too.
And the stakes are sky high.
Our young people,
we say that we've got it under control.
We don't.
In this special event series of Parental Guidance,
we've confronted the most critical issues
facing families today.
Screen time, peer pressure, body image.
It's so important that we as parents educate ourselves
about what's available to our children.
And giving parents the tools to find a way through.
This is a life experience
that we will learn from and grow from
and implement.
Thanks, mate.
Tonight, in the final
of these ground-breaking investigations.
We have an incredible
mental illness challenge in this country.
I was scared to tell people, and it was tough.
It's the invisible crisis crippling the nation.
I've been to the mental hospitals with him.
I've been on the street with him.
How can parents help lay the foundations
for good mental health?
You're being mean. I'm not being mean.
If I was your daughter,
would I be able to come to you to tell you that?
I don't have that problem, and I won't have that problem.
(TENSE MUSIC)
An eye-opening look... You can do it, buddy.
..into the best ways to support our kids'
emotional well-being.
...there's no growth in your comfort zone.
Yeah. And set them up.
(KIDS SCREAM IN EXCITEMENT)
For mental resilience.
I'm proud of you. You're so brave.
(THEME MUSIC)
('DIAMOND' BY TEMMPO PLAYS)
Focus Parents, welcome.
Elvie and Sean, nice to see you.
Nice to meet you. You too.
Hey, Amanda and Hassan.
How are you? Good.
How are you?
Ready to go?
Absolutely. Very excited.
Hey, Panel Parents. Hi, guys.
Welcome to the Parenting Olympics.
Now, there are no medals.
(CHUCKLES)
There is just the glory of knowing you
might have done it right
and you got through another day.
(LAUGHTER)
This side of the room, you're back in the hot seat.
You are our Focus Parents.
And over here, you guys, you are our Panel Parents.
So, watch carefully and take notes.
You'll be voting at the end of the night
on who you learnt the most from.
Tonight, we are diving into one of the most important
and challenging topics in parenting...
mental health.
As parents, there's a lot we can do to build the foundations
for our children's best possible mental health.
Tonight, we will explore how we can raise resilient
and confident kids
in a world that kind of feels more overwhelming than ever
and how to tackle the tough moments when they arise.
Right now, mental health issues among kids
and young adults are at an all-time high.
Australia is in the middle of a mental health crisis,
particularly for young people, with stress, anxiety, depression,
and self-harm all on the rise.
As parents, the strongest defence
is helping kids build emotional well-being,
connections and resilience.
Alright.
Focus Parents, remind us of your parenting styles.
Josh and Cassie.
We are the life school parents. We live in our caravan.
We learn from real life experiences while giving our kids freedom.
(LAUGHTER) Smile!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
As life school parents, we've travelled around Australia for
the past three years, giving our kids lifetime memories.
Our kids have experienced
more than what most kids will in a whole lifetime.
Everyone's so rushed these days.
Our kids are much happier, much more relaxed.
They're certainly not wrapped up in bubble wrap.
If they hurt themselves, unfortunately, they hurt themselves.
One of the biggest dangers wrapping your kids in cotton wool
is that it doesn't build resilience,
and then that's when we do have a lot of these mental health issues.
Alrighty. Our life school parents.
You look like you're all best mates.
Yeah, it's lovely. You know what I mean?
You're all together. There's no arguments.
There's no conflict. There is.
There probably is. There probably is.
(LAUGHTER) Don't get me wrong but...
It's a very well rounded family.
I am the second youngest of eight kids,
and that really helped to shape the style of parents
we wanted to be.
Elvie and Sean.
We are the authoritative parents.
We have high expectations on our children.
We set strict rules and boundaries.
Say cheese.
ALL: Cheese.
Big smile. (CAMERA CLICKS)
As an authoritative parent, we set a lot of rules
with high expectations for our children to follow.
Esme, Stacey, lunch.
Better be quick.
Otherwise, mum will come.
I sometimes can be quite mean to them.
You're not stopping?
I raise my voice. Now!
Children who... Now.
..get used to people being harsh to them
will build their resilience.
We also believe in yin and yang.
We do some mindfulness activities like yoga and massage.
That's crazy.
Mental health is super important to be a happy
and also a successful person.
OK. What did we think of our authoritative parents?
I completely agree with those rules and expectations.
It's, like, I have to be the mean mum sometimes.
I think that is not necessarily a bad thing.
Thank you. Thank you.
And Amanda and Hassan.
We are the hard way parents.
We do things the hard way.
No shortcuts.
It's hard on us but great for the kids.
Everyone, say cheese!
Say, cheese. Yeah.
(CAMERA CLICKS) ALL: Cheese.
We see a lot of parents take the easy way
with a lot of screen time, eating unhealthy food.
Do you just give them the screen and you're sitting down,
putting your feet up having a coffee?
Yeah, you're not parenting. You're taking the easy way out.
It's the easy way out. Yeah. Good job.
We give our kids a lot of praise.
And it's all about making them feel good,
so, nothing goes unnoticed.
I cleaned up the lounge.
Ooh! I vacuumed.
Well done. You can get a well done sticker.
High five.
We prioritise mental health, always checking in on the kids.
Are you happy? Are you sad?
Because we're always around. Yeah.
We can see if someone's a bit down, we approach them.
So... Yeah. Are you OK? How are you feeling?
If they come home from school stressed,
let's go for a walk.
Well done. Yes. Yay! Done it.
There's a lot to learn from that.
We work together as a team a lot,
and we do a lot of things the hard way, really.
Yeah. I love that.
No. I think it's good that you praise them.
Every single day, we praise them.
We encourage them and motivate them.
If they've done something,
we always tell them, "you've done a good job".
We just try and praise them as much as we can.
From my opinion, as authoritative parents,
we kind of give them honest opinion rather than praising them, good job.
We give them a honest feedback.
It's totally natural for parents to want to praise their kids.
Unfortunately, what happens with praise
is kids start to look to their parents
for extrinsic validation no matter what they're doing.
"Did I do this right? Did I do that right?"
We can create praise junkies.
We're better off saying, "Thanks," expressing appreciation,
or encouraging our children to reflect
and asking them if they think they did well
and what they would do next time if they were to do it again.
OK. Nick and Sofia, how do you guys do it?
We are the positivity parents,
which means we take a positive approach
to everything we do.
In order to build confidence and self-esteem.
ALL: Hi, Bestie.
(CAMERA CLICKS) (UPBEAT MUSIC)
As positivity parents, we teach our kids to be kind,
inclusive, humble and generous.
You are powerful.
We definitely build up our children's self-esteem
every single day by doing positive affirmations.
We've done it consistently for years.
Sofi is able to work from home as a content creator.
One, two.
Hi, bestie.
The 'Hi, bestie!' videos have been happening
since Aleks was two.
The most views is 53 million.
People have said that it's helped them with depression,
that it's helped their mum who has dementia.
The teachers have played it in school.
Being kind to someone and being positive
is never gonna be bad.
The affirmations in kids is awesome.
Thank you.
And in ourselves as well, not just kids but, yeah, everyone.
I love the positive message.
It's very cute but I probably wouldn't be comfortable
with having my kids on TikTok.
I'd be worried that they'd be looking for
approval via the likes.
We've never said, "Hey, Aleks or Mila,
"this video that you've done got 50 million views."
They have no idea about that.
If they didn't wanna do it, you'd be OK with...
I would be OK with that. ..taking that off.
Yeah. Then it would be done.
I never wanna force my kids into anything.
Yeah.
OK, four different parenting styles
facing the challenges tonight.
Panel Parents, don't forget to take notes.
At the end of all the challenges, we'll be asking you to choose
which parenting style equips their kids best
for emotional well-being and mental resilience,
the foundations of good mental health.
You're gonna be looking for which parenting style you think
helps develop autonomy and competence,
fosters healthy emotional regulation,
creates a sense of belonging
and encourages resilience and confidence.
While there is something of a genetic lottery involved,
there are lot of things that we can do as parents
to set our kids up
to have the best mental health possible.
The way that we support, the way that we listen,
the way that we guide them can make an enormous difference.
Shall we do a challenge?
Yes. (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHTER)
Parents are literally their kids' first role models.
We wanna see what they've learned from you
about empathy and caring for others,
both important elements of maintaining good mental health.
We gave them a realistic toddler doll to look after.
Do they know how to be nurturing towards the baby,
how to meet its needs?
So, what have your kids picked up from you?
The role models in their life.
Even at a very young age, kids copy what their parents do.
In this challenge,
we'll see what they've learned about caring for a child
from watching mum and dad.
A crucial part of kids' mental health
is feeling like their needs are being met.
This challenge will show us what these children have observed
about how to look after a child.
Kids, we got a message. Oh.
OK. Are you ready?
Yeah. Sure.
Oh, how exciting.
Our side of parenting is to be good role models for our kids.
So, we do everything together as a family.
There's a baby.
Oh.
With this task, I think the kids will do really well
because they do this on a daily basis with their sister.
We include everyone from Lamis down to Youssef.
(DOLL CRIES) Oh, it's OK.
Rock her, do this. Do this.
Youssef is really nurturing
and caring when it comes to looking after his baby sister.
Give her a bottle. Give a bottle.
Say, "It's OK, baby." Hey, baby.
When baby Zaynab was born, Youssef was very jealous.
Mm-hm.
And the way we overcame that is we got him involved.
You wanna give her blanket? Yeah.
Her blanket. It's her bedtime.
Yes. It's her bedtime.
Maybe-maybe she has this to sleep.
Give her a dummy so she doesn't cry?
Shh. Oh.
What's going on?
How'd you guys go? What happened?
She's sleeping. Oh, wow.
Good job.
(APPLAUSE)
Wow. Baby.
As authoritative parents,
I've given our daughters a lot of, uh, rules.
So, that make it easier for them to copy those rules
and then apply it when they try to take care of others.
Why-why don't you want to eat your breakfast?
If you don't eat the breakfast, no screen time for you.
(CHUCKLES) Real? (DOLL CRIES)
Did you just cry after she said that?
(CHUCKLES)
What? I'm just being mum.
My children, sometimes, they call me
the most mean mum in the world.
Yeah. That's right. (CHUCKLES)
No iPad for you.
As an authoritative parent,
I think we have a good guys and bad guys role.
So, Sean will be the one who comfort the children.
Why won't it stop crying?
Honestly, leave it here.
And just wait for it to stop crying.
We did implement cry out approach really strictly.
12 month of cry out approach.
Even though Stacey cry really loud up to an hour,
we still pretend not hearing that.
(DOLL CRIES)
(MIMICS CRIES)
OK.
Hard way parents, your kids did really well.
The younger one did that really well.
Yeah. He did. He did very well.
And I love that they were all very involved with him.
Yeah.
With the authority parents, there was a few points.
They cried it out for an hour.
It's wild to me. Me too.
I know some people it works for them but it feels like mean for the baby.
You're just stressing the baby. Yeah. You're stressing the baby.
It's not good. Yeah.
I felt a bit uncomfortable.
The baby cries for a reason. You need to find out.
It's either it's got wind, it's hungry, it's got a nappy.
You need to find out the reason why they're crying.
The first child, Esme,
we did try the cry out approach
with the company of Sean on the bedside.
So, Esme actually, obviously, it was very hard to put her to bed.
It didn't work for her but I couldn't handle it.
But Stacey, the second child, we kind of, like,
have enough for the first child for not having good sleep.
So, did you feel that controlled crying worked with Stacey?
Worked for the first 12 months.
I did it with one of the girls.
She screamed from probably 7pm till 3am
every single night, all night.
It was horrific,
and I think it actually had a really detrimental effect
on her beginning.
From a mental health perspective, some parents will say,
"We've got to try this.
"It's the only way we're gonna get through."
In terms of research around the children,
nobody should be doing this with a baby below six months of age.
Similarly, nobody should be leaving a baby in the room
all night to cry it out.
There comes a point where you must intervene.
Our children need to know that we're there for them.
This would all be so much easier if we had a village around us
who could come in and take the load off
for a night or two
so, that you can get the sleep that you need.
Unfortunately, for too many of us,
society doesn't work that way anymore
but this is one of our great challenges.
Coming up in the final instalment
of our special event series.
We get to learn everything.
The kids spill the tea.
Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha
and just lay on the couch.
(LAUGHTER)
Temperatures rise with the year's most heated debate.
I'm really anti that boys will be boys.
We should be very careful not to feminise our males.
And later, one of the country's favourite TV personalities,
David Campbell... Alright.
(APPLAUSE) How are you doing?
..pulls back the curtain on his own mental health struggles.
I shut down.
I was scared to tell people.
Then which parenting style has the best approach...
Ticked all the boxes and moved along.
That still didn't sit well with me.
..when it comes to mental health?
The family that we've learned the most about
mental health was...
(TENSE MUSIC)
('GET RIGHT' BY TOM OAKS PLAYS)
We're talking about how to give kids the foundations
for the best possible mental health.
We're in the middle of a challenge testing
what the focus kids have learnt
about meeting a child's needs, a
key element of emotional well-being.
Alright.
So, let's have a look at how our next two families went.
Seeing how a child parents a doll can tell us quite a lot about
how the child parented or how they perceive parenting.
In this challenge,
we're looking for what the kids have learned
from their parents when it comes to nurturing and empathy.
Oh, my god. Hurray.
This so cute. That's so cute.
I'm gonna be the mum. I'm gonna act like dad.
I'm gonna be the mum. (CHUCKLES)
As positive parents, we definitely do fall
into a traditional family role.
I stay at home.
I do all the things that, you know, a mum does.
I cook. I clean. I shop. I take care of the kids.
I take them absolutely everywhere.
I take care of Nick.
It is a traditional role but then again,
it's not because he'll then load the dishwasher.
(LAUGHTER)
(DOLL CRIES) No. Oh, no.
It's...
She's hungry.
It's just a dummy.
The things that they did that worked well was
they were being extremely attentive to whatever the baby was asking for.
Hey, I'm the one feeding her.
No, I'm the mother, give me her.
Go and wash the dishes.
No, you wash the dishes.
(LAUGHS)
The dad always wash the dishes.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
But then Mila wanted to be in charge of the baby doll.
Yeah.
And Aleks, I could hear, was like, "I'm mum.
"I need to be doing that."
No. I'm the mum. I know best.
Mums are older. Give me her.
We can't break the baby. We're not.
Give her give her to me. I'm gonna dress her.
Yeah. They would... They-they could improve on.
Uh...
Sharing. Yeah.
They could improve on sharing. Sharing.
You go and edit your videos.
I don't need to edit.
I love my baby more than editing. I'm not gonna edit anymore.
Who was mummy and who was daddy?
I'm mum. I'm dad.
You're mum? Yep.
Daddy's changing Bonnie?
Mm-hm. Yep.
But don't you think mum should have done most of the work?
Who dresses you in the morning?
You. Who dresses you for dance?
Who dresses you when you finish dance?
Like, the only time dad dresses you is maybe if he gives you a shower.
Yeah. We-we don't have any rule putting the PJs on.
OK. Mila, Mila, listen to me.
But dad does and then she snatched it off me.
Mila, listen... Can I just... Can I...
Mila, I dress you all the time.
Dad dresses us at night and it was...
I get it. ..her bed time.
I understand. Listen. I understand.
I don't think you do.
I'm just saying because you're saying
that mummy didn't... doesn't dress you and stuff
when mummy's always with you.
You're being mean. I'm not being mean.
I'm sorry that you think I'm being mean. I'm not.
You guys did a good job. Both of you have done a good job.
(KISSES HEAD)
Hey. It's alright.
It's just a game.
You don't need to take it so seriously.
Yes. It's just a challenge.
OK. I love how you said, "It's just a game."
Are you telling yourself that? "It's just a game."
She said that dad dresses her at night-time for bed.
So, was that not right? Sometimes.
Yeah, no, sometimes. No, no, no.
Oh, she does. So, she was right.
Yeah.
Are you just, like, competing, though?
Like, with like, who cares who's doing it?
You or your husband? No. No. Definitely not.
It's got nothing to do with competition.
Yeah.
It's got to do with I'm taking care of my child...
Yeah. ..and I hope she knows that.
I just wanted her to be truthful.
Was that about accuracy,
or is it more about you needing validation?
Part of me was like, she honestly doesn't think dad
is the one dressing... I'm with them 24 hours a day.
I'm raising a human that I want to be truthful and honest.
Sofia, I think that you want your daughter
to see things your way.
Yeah. But... Not that you want her to be honest.
Oh, OK. (CHUCKLES)
She's being honest. Yeah.
And we've understood that Nick is involved in the dressing.
Yeah.
But because you want the validation,
she's hearing that her view isn't right.
She's being told to doubt her own voice
and that you control the narrative.
When our children don't feel heard, that's when they feel controlled.
That's a good point. Yeah. Fair.
It can erode trust,
damage connection and have a lasting impact
on their emotional well-being.
Yeah.
Parenting is the most thankless task that is out there.
Our children will not appreciate what we have done for them
until they become parents themselves
and until they start to grapple with the same sacrifices
and challenges that we're making.
OK. We got one more to see.
Let's take a look at our life school parents.
Alright. Who's grabbing her? I'm not touching anything.
I'm not touching that thing.
I'm not... Bronson will.
Oh, come on! Why do I...
You wanted to try mums and dads. Come on, it's your turn then.
When it comes to how our kids view us as parents,
they would think we're easy-going and give them lots of freedom.
They've never necessarily spent time around babies.
I'm expecting crying
and the kids just not knowing what to do.
(DOLL CRIES)
Grab the doll. Help me.
(LAUGHS)
That's off putting.
You've changed someone's diaper?
Yeah. I've done Kingsley's before.
Really? I don't think I have.
I wanna stand on it. Alright, it's gonna cry.
Really don't want to her cry.
It's the world championship baby thrower.
(DOLL CRIES)
(LAUGHTER) No.
Baby just fine. Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
Let's throw it to our Panel Parents.
Your eldest is gonna make a great father one day.
Obviously, he remembers having little siblings and, and then,
you know, they're playing.
They're mucking around having fun. The boys were boys.
I'm really anti that boys will be boys.
Like, it-it really does stereotype a type of behaviour that is not OK.
(TENSE MUSIC)
I think it's very important
whether you got boys or girls at home,
get them involved early.
Don't stereotype.
Because your young boys are gonna be men one day.
That's right. Yeah.
I think we should be very careful
not to feminise our males too much in society.
Oh.
(TENSE MUSIC)
But I think that it's OK if they wanted to be
a little bit more feminine.
Stereotyping that men should just be a certain way,
I think, can put a lot of pressure on men.
I'm definitely not saying, like, "Oh, don't do that.
"That's a woman's job."
But boys aren't naturally nurturing...
you know, and they showed that there, you know.
They can be.
If a man has to change a nappy or cook and clean,
it doesn't make him less of a man.
The first six to 12 months of the baby's life,
especially if you're naturally nursing,
the father is essentially non-existent.
All it cares for is mum.
Well, that can be controversial.
So, I try and help out but my child doesn't want me.
So, mum's stressed 'cause she's not getting a break.
Do you know why on that?
Because maybe the father didn't get involved early.
Hassan's involved from
when the baby's literally out of my stomach.
Oh, that's not advised. Yeah. Yeah.
I was pumping milk.
He was feeding at night, then I got up, like...
I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way no.
I didn't...I didn't catch what you said the first time.
No. No. No. What did you say the first time?
I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way,
your thoughts are really, "This is what goes on."
Fair enough in your world around the people
that you choose to hang around,
that might happen but that's not the whole world.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Also, I do feel a lot of men in this society these days as well
are not great men.
I think we need to change that.
I don't want my boys to grow up thinking that
I can't be that robust, even stoic type of man now,
because it's not OK to tell the men
that are like that they shouldn't be.
We know
that the more men ascribe to unhealthy ideas
about what masculinity is, "I have to be tough,
I have to be self-sufficient, I can't seek support,"
kind of man box ideal.
The more their mental health drops,
the more likely they are to be abusive or be abused.
I don't think that you should have gender roles
even from a young age.
The boys... My girls play with trucks...
Yeah.
..just as much as my boys will play with dress ups.
Same thing. We don't do gender in our house. Yeah.
And my boys' favourite colour, if you'd ask them right now,
it'd be pink.
It's more like identity than the role.
Would you accept your boys wearing skirts
as the normal appearance?
Yeah. I would. Honestly.
I-I mean, we haven't come down to that.
We haven't really had that conversation much.
But if he really decided that he wanted to change genders
when he was a teenager, that's a conversation we'd have.
Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman.
Yeah. Full stop.
If my kids decided well, they're not going to
but if they decided were men,
that wouldn't be an option in our house.
(CHUCKLES) So, very clear.
Oh, my god.
It won't happen. Strap in.
(LAUGHTER) Strap in.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman. (TENSE MUSIC)
Yeah. Full stop.
If my kids decided,
well, they're not going to but if they decided they were men,
that wouldn't be an option in our house.
But would you stop talking to them?
No.
We wouldn't stop talking to our children but it won't happen.
Yeah. Hope it doesn't.
You should...
You'd love your child no matter what, I think.
So...
You draw the line at a cat.
(LAUGHTER)
You draw the line at a cat,
so, it's OK to change genders but it's not OK to be a cat.
Like, you know, there's no difference.
If you're OK with gender just swapping,
then you may as well be an animal.
(TENSE MUSIC)
It's male and female. No.
Don't you think some people are born like that, though?
No, I don't.
You don't think people are born feeling a certain way?
You don't think that at all?
Because a lot of people do commit suicide
because of how they feel about having those feelings.
Like, they really are born that way, and they can't help how they feel.
And if you're saying to your child, "This is it,"
imagine if they actually felt that way
and couldn't come to you to tell you that.
Yeah, I don't have that problem, and I won't have that problem.
But how do you know?
(TENSE MUSIC)
What you're saying is you're creating an environment
in your household where it's least likely to happen.
Correct. It won't happen.
If I was your daughter and I felt like
I wasn't feeling like a-a stereotypical girl,
would I be able to come to you as your daughter
to tell you that?
They can tell me whatever they want.
We're very open dialogue.
But like, you said, "It's not gonna happen.
There's no way of that happening.
"It's not happening." So, I was just concerned about that.
As Christians, bringing the faith into it,
we really need to be an open space for people that are...
have these problems.
I don't feel like it's a problem at all.
You can be what you want.
As long as you don't hurt anybody, what difference does it make?
I don't care what you're doing
as long as you're a good, decent person.
If my boy wants to identify as a girl
and that is gonna help towards mental health,
do what you gotta do.
There's gotta be room for who you wanna be.
Who cares what you are, whether you're man, woman,
gay, straight, they, them?
I... To me, it doesn't matter.
As long as you're a nice person, you're kind.
I honestly don't care what you identify as.
Australia has been one of the most progressive nations
when it comes to embracing an affirmation approach
to gender identity, specifically because of mental health challenges.
The person who has confusion and challenge
about their gender identity,
they need absolutely unquestionably compassion,
love and acceptance.
Their mental health may deteriorate to a point
where their life is in danger.
There is no single right answer.
We don't know enough.
We just have to be compassionate, patient
and provide the support
that our children need if this happens.
Having had this conversation,
I don't feel my views have changed at all.
But I definitely am not open in this area.
I stand by the fact a man is a man and a woman is a woman.
That was a really rigorous debate.
Thank you guys for all sharing your opinions on that.
And most importantly, with honesty and respect.
OK. How about a little change of pace?
I've got something absolutely fabulous to show you.
We got to know your kids a bit more,
including what they know about mental health.
Would you like to hear what they have to say?
Oh.
Oh, gosh.
What's mental health?
What? What does that mean?
Mental health is how you feel,
like, in your heart and your head
and how you talk to yourself.
Your inside feelings. Feeling, your feelings. Yeah.
Like, our own mental health is really important to help us
become more resilient.
Yeah.
What do your parents do when you're upset?
When we're sad,
they're always finding something to cheer us up.
A really big hug.
Mum said it's good to cry.
What? No. Not a lot.
No. I don't. Not, I don't.
Secretly. I don't know.
Brothers.
Yeah. When they're annoying.
Like, he gets away with everything.
(LAUGHTER)
Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha
and just lay on the couch.
(LAUGHTER)
When my mum goes into a shop and she wants to get,
uh, one thing,
and then she will end up getting the whole store.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm not telling. Secret.
The van shaking.
(LAUGHTER)
You never wanna know what that is at night.
(LAUGHTER)
You can't hear the washing machine.
It's the washing machine most of the time.
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
They buy us every toy the world.
We're spoiled.
Yeah. We're spoiled.
But our parents love us. That's good.
Yeah.
And me and my sister fight sometimes.
Well, no.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
Oh, Josh and Cassie, so many questions answered.
How many loads of washing do you do a week?
(LAUGHTER)
They will never know. (LAUGHTER)
Coming up.
Let's go, Mila.
Two eye opening challenges that test our kids' resilience.
Can you stop?
We do have some expectation for their performance.
You could have left a bigger gap.
Shush.
(TENSE MUSIC)
('NOT ALONE' BY MIC DROP PLAYS)
Tonight, we're talking about everything to do with parenting
to set your kids up with the foundations
for good mental health.
So, let's have a look at another challenge.
We asked your kids to make a domino trail together.
It seems simple but for this to work,
they're gonna need cooperation, patience and persistence,
essential skills when it comes to building good mental health.
So, how do the kids handle a stressful situation
when put under pressure?
Do they keep their cool,
or did the domino effect get the better of them?
Emotional regulation is a vital skill for children
to help them to manage their feelings and respond thoughtfully
rather than react impulsively.
In this challenge, we're looking at
what the parents have taught their kids about
coping with frustration
and how they work together as a team.
These are critical components of good mental health.
Got a message.
This is... So, it's on you.
Oh, domino challenge. Yeah.
Love that. (CLAMOURING)
That's easy. Yeah.
Have fun.
As life school parents,
we teach our kids about the ways to deal with stress and life.
We all have frustration.
We all have frustrating times.
It's the way that we deal with it that counts the most.
See? Yeah.
You're shaking table.
(THROWS DOMINOES)
Can you stop?
How many times do I have to tell you not to do much movement?
But as life school parents, it's super important for us
that our boys work together.
It's so much easier to win as a team than as an individual.
(THROWS DOMINOS)
Told you for a handful, mate.
OK.
Can then no-one just not touch the table?
I was thinking just starting from one end of the table
and working our way down.
OK. You start going off like that.
Alright.
Do not move.
Like, don't move a muscle. Stop that toe, man.
Stop that toe. Alright.
We're ready.
I just wanna say
that you guys have done a very good job.
Go.
(CHEERING IN JOY)
(APPLAUSE)
That's a strike.
Where are the dominoes?
I think that's on table. Oh.
As authoritative parents,
I think it's quite important for kids to stick to difficult tasks
even they don't enjoy.
I think that the perseverance
will go a long way in their future life.
Concentrate.
(THROWS DOMINOES)
Just have to be concentrate, OK?
Make sure you concentrate. I am.
It isn't as easy as you think it is.
Stacey, don't shake the table. Concentrate, honey.
Concentrate, concentrate. Nearly there.
Shush.
As an authoritative parent, coming from an oriental background,
we do have some expectation for their performance.
Concentrate, concentrate. I am.
That's OK. OK.
We encourage our children.
We want them to be successful, be doctors or probably lawyers.
You could have left a bigger gap.
Stop speaking.
I'm gonna start joining in, hopefully.
OK. OK.
Three, two...
Wow.
(APPLAUSE) Huge success.
I should have timed how long it took.
Panel Parents.
I thought it was good from the life school family.
Kids didn't give up on the challenge.
They still persisted and saw it through to the end.
Especially with five in a caravan.
No-one even said once, "This is garbage. I'm out."
Could have been so easy for them to just go,
"This is too hard. We're not doing it."
And you guys were nowhere in sight.
Yeah. They ran their own shop.
I felt the authoritative of parents,
they were really present
and very hovering over, very critical.
The very last thing is, "I should have timed it."
There wasn't time to praise it.
It was done well.
Do you think they would have worked together
better had you not been in the room?
Uh...
Could be. (CHUCKLES)
..they... Could be.
Yeah. Yeah.
I felt like they were, like, just craving to do it themselves.
Your experience looked more outcome based,
and Josh and Cassie's looked more experience based.
Yep. So, we definitely want to achieve some things.
We have expectations on them. Yeah.
Because she's made a comment about being successful adults,
being either doctors or lawyers.
Sure. Sure.
But what if they wanna be influencers?
(TENSE MUSIC)
We have highest expectations.
We said, "We think this is good for you."
From very young age,
we start to instill different values.
You need to have, like, stable income.
Yeah.
I'm more aiming for long term success.
Hopefully, one day, they have their house.
Life stability is most important.
What happens... (SLAMS HANDS TOGETHER)
if they decide, "Mum, I'm gonna be a hairdresser?"
Oh, there'd be regrets. No doubt.
I have an expectation on my children and they choose a different way.
Of course, I would be very upset.
There's more academic pressure on children than ever before.
The three most important words that your children can hear,
"No matter what.
"My love for you is bigger than any academic choice
"you make or any career choice.
"I love you no matter what."
It can have a huge impact on our children's well-being.
Next, with mental health in the spotlight.
You're doing that on purpose.
Tempers are tested...
(CRIES) ..when things fall apart.
You gotta put it up like this.
No.
And a devastating truth...
To have it end that way, it's really hard.
..silences the room.
(TENSE MUSIC)
We're establishing the essentials of good mental health,
including dealing with stressful situations.
We're in the middle of the domino challenge.
Should we look at our last two families?
A simple game like dominoes
takes persistence and emotional regulation.
These are critical components of good mental health.
Can your kids build a dominoes trail
using all the Dominoes?
Parents, hands off!
Oh, wow. Exciting. (CHUCKLES)
Our kids generally do well
when they're faced with a challenging task.
The hard way is definitely not quitting.
It's giving everything a go even if you find it hard.
Do you wanna start from here and go around?
Start from here.
Youssef.
You wanna help pick that up.
Ah! Ah!
With Youssef, it's always a surprise but,
you know, our style of parenting is we wanna get him involved.
The easy way would be keep him out of the task.
Don't get him involved. Take him out straight away.
Give him some phone. But as hard way parents...
..give him a go. Give him some phone time. Mm-hm.
Youssef, will you, you're gonna put it up like this?
No!
Oh, I'll-I'll start from here then you can go like that.
No, no, we should...
No!
Come.
I have to miss. Come on. Come.
When Hassan and I see that, you know,
it is getting really frustrating and the kids have tried,
that's where us as parents have to step up.
You know just relax him.
Do this instead. OK?
Well done. Yeah. Good job. Is that fun?
We done it. Yeah, well done.
(APPLAUSE) Good job.
Good job, guys.
(APPLAUSE)
Fantastic. Well done.
There's nothing hard for us. We can do it.
I think that was great, what you did there.
The siblings did amazing at staying so calm.
Yeah. They didn't lose it at him, which is what we teach them to do.
Does Youssef have any learning difficulties?
Was... Um, he's only four.
He does have some, like, difficulties with, like,
sometimes understanding that all the attention, you know,
can't be around him.
So, we're slowly always sitting with him,
trying to calm him down.
I would have handled that a little bit different.
You removed him and then went and played, like, a cool fun game...
Yeah. ..in another room.
Yep.
His behaviour was rewarded with fun time...
Yep. ..somewhere else.
With the way we parent our children,
I would have just removed him from there and let him watch on.
Yep.
The other siblings deserve a chance to do it
without getting stressed or anxious as well.
Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
So, we're just trying to be fair to the five of them, really.
(CHUCKLES)
OK. Let's take a look at our positivity parents.
Well, you guys should win this.
You play games all the time.
Yeah.
We're planning to go into this challenge
as positivity parents by being positive.
We're going to encourage them,
give them pointers but we're not gonna touch anything.
So, you start making the trail.
ALL: Oh.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my god.
I think one at a time.
Hey, Aleks.
You're doing that on purpose.
Why did you do that, mum?
She knocked it over like this... It's OK.
Just start again.
Because they're both leaders,
I think it'll take a while for them to get the rhythm...
Mm-hm. ..if getting into that team spirit.
If I knock this over, I'm gonna be...
I'm gonna punch myself on the face.
What?
Three... (GASPS) (GASPS)
No. (SOBS) You can start again.
You wanna do it again.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Listen, mummy.
You know when I say teamwork makes the...
Dream work. Yeah.
Are we doing teamwork right now?
Oh. (YELLS)
I didn't do that on purpose.
I wanna hear the positive talk.
I don't wanna hear the negative talk.
We don't talk like that. Come on.
You can do this, Mila.
I'm literally drilling confidence into my children on a daily.
Come on, we're almost there, Aleks.
You're almost there. Good.
One more.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
High-five. High-five.
Teamwork makes the...
BOTH: Dream work!
(APPLAUSE)
I feel like the two girls, like, they were kinda working apart.
Yeah.
But you encouraged teamwork a lot too.
Yeah.
That you were like, "Come on, girls
let's walk together as a team," which is great.
They have big personalities. I want them to be confident.
I want them to be strong.
We were mortified when she was like,
"If we don't do this, I'm gonna punch myself in the face."
We were like... Not really.
It was almost like they wanted to punish themselves
for not being able to do it.
Yeah. Nah. They're just being characters.
It's-it's not them being, you know, negative or anything.
They're just like, "Oh, no." Like, you know?
Well, it wasn't just words.
Like, she ended up...
She ended up doing it. ..punching herself in the head.
And... Yeah.
Did you speak to her about it? How would you handle it?
No. Because she's five.
It's an anomaly.
She's just like a kid being silly.
Like...
It's important that we consider carefully,
though, the words that we're saying
because our words do create our world.
They probably just did something dumb
and they're giving themselves a little bit of quick uppercut,
"I shouldn't have done that, how silly," and then move on.
But if it's a recurring theme,
if that's what they say all the time,
that's when we start to say,
I wonder if there's something that we can do to make our brain
and our self-esteem, the way we look at ourselves,
a little healthier.
Aleks, she's named after my brother whose name was Alexander.
He, um, had a mental illness.
That has a lot to do with why we are positivity parenting
and why we want them not to be sheltered
but to look to the bright side of life.
Yeah.
So, I have a lot of, um, experience with mental health.
My brother, he took his own life.
I've been to the mental hospitals with him.
I've been on the street with him.
I've been, you know, like, (SOBS) I've been there with him.
You know, and then at the end of it all,
to have it end that way, it's really hard.
My kids never get to meet him.
At least I can keep him alive by talking about him,
by teaching my children about kindness.
Just be there for people and be there without judgement.
We have, uh,
an incredible mental illness challenge in this country.
In Australia today,
we'll lose nine people through suicide.
Seven of them will be men...
and it will happen again tomorrow.
One of the most important things we can do is teach our children
to seek support.
Those two words, 'support seeking', save lives.
And yet the overwhelming majority of people
who take their own lives don't seek support.
They try to do it on their own.
It's my hope that by having the conversations
that we're having in this room today about these challenges,
that we'll be a little more supportive...
and that we'll find ways to lift one another up
and help them to live lives
where they are genuinely confident that their life is worthwhile,
that their life is purposeful, that they're making a difference.
Really appreciate you sharing your story.
Oh, thank you.
Coming up,
father of the year David Campbell
gets honest about his own mental health struggle.
I heard my son say, "Dad's not well."
And I looked at Lisa and I said, "I'm done."
Then. Oh, my god.
An important lesson from the parenting handbook...
You know I'm scared of heights.
It's really scary.
There's no growth in your comfort zone.
..as the kids fly high.
(YELLS)
('NOT MAD' BY JOHANNES GULDBERG PLAYS)
Tonight, we're looking at how to lay the best foundations
for good mental health for our kids.
Who is ready to put a celebrity under the parenting microscope?
Yes. Yeah.
Joining us in the parenting lounge
is someone who was crowned Father of the Year
alongside his dad, Jimmy Barnes,
for their work ending generational trauma
and championing the importance of good mental health.
You know him from the 'Today Extra' couch.
Lizzy, good morning to you. Morning, DC.
He comes from Aussie rock royalty and continued the legacy
with his own extraordinary singing and stage career.
Please welcome singer, performer, host and Father of the Year,
David Campbell.
(APPLAUSE) Hi.
How are you doing? Thanks.
Good to see you.
Hi, everybody. How are you doing? Good day.
David, you have the most incredible life story.
Do you mind sharing a little bit about your childhood
and how it shaped your own mental health?
So, I was born in Adelaide.
Both my parents were, uh, 16 years old, and this is in 1973.
So, it was a very different time, and my grandmother came in.
And she adopted me and raised me as her son,
so, I was brought up thinking that she was my mother.
I also thought that my mother was my sister.
My father, he went on to be in Cold Chisel but he was busy.
It wasn't till Jane Barnes married my dad, Jimmy,
and she's like, "He has to be a part of our family."
And after that, my grandmother said to me,
"You need to know that Jimmy is your dad."
My dad was the biggest rock star in the country
but then she said that, uh,
but that your sister is your mother.
I was ten years old.
I just found out all of this information,
and I shut down.
I did not cope with it.
I did not know how to process it,
and that was the beginning, I can tell,
of trauma that lasted for a long, long time for me.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
David, will you tell us
a bit about the mental health challenges
that you experienced subsequent
to or even during this period?
I was an extremely anxious child.
Lot of the anxiety I felt before then...
was probably to do with the ADHD not being diagnosed.
Everything else I found out made it worse.
Trauma about change,
inherent neediness that Ally knows all too well.
You're trying to navigate all of this family drama,
and you've got a mullet and acne.
It's really difficult.
And then I was scared to tell people
because I didn't want them to judge me differently.
David, you are now really close with your dad,
Jimmy Barnes but that hasn't been an easy road.
But I know along the way on both sides,
there's been abuse of alcohol and...
Yeah.
You know, there's the picture that I had on my wall
and probably a lot of other Aussie kids and men did too of him
at the last stand holding up a bottle of vodka and a towel.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
And that sort of masculinity that he was showing...
was kinda toxic, you know.
And so, I thought that was how you had to act,
particularly when you become a singer.
You know, they throw free booze at you.
And the wilder you act, you get rewarded.
And so, by the time I realised I was starting to have more and more
of a problem with booze...
it had already latched on.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
So, then when I had Leo, my oldest, one morning,
we're having our first holiday as a family,
and I couldn't stop being sick.
I didn't feel like I drank that much compared
to what I have drunk in the past.
Almost didn't make the flight.
Oh.
And it was tough because I heard my son say, "Dad's not well."
And I looked at Lisa and I said, "I'm done.
I can't have him see me that way." He's three.
I won't let that be a memory for him.
Like all the memories that I can close my eyes
and see in my head of my family, both sides,
going through the same motions,
the same cycles time and time again.
Something has to give here.
And so, if that's me not drinking, then that's fine.
And that was it? That was it.
Last time you had a drink?
Your journey, challenges, um, how you, you know,
come to sobriety, all that sort of stuff...
Right. ..very much our journey.
You guys are sober too? BOTH: Yeah.
Congratulations. Five years.
Five years? Mm-hm.
I'm so pleased for you both.
BOTH: Thank you.
You've battled alcohol abuse... Mm-hm.
..anxiety, um, ADHD.
So, how do you parent specifically around mental health?
We talk about our emotions
if we're feeling frustrated at something.
We're like, "Guys, it was just...
We're not having a good day today.
We're just tired." It's really hard.
Us talking about our own mental health, I think,
allows them to talk about theirs.
You know, tell us what you're feeling.
If it gets overwhelming, let's not fight.
Everybody, calm down. Tell me what's going on.
I may not be able to solve this but let's try.
And sometimes that means they gotta cry.
Boys have gotta cry.
Otherwise, they just keep it all pent up.
Oh, man.
I wish I had that ability when I was his age.
I also don't give them too much details.
I knew too much at a young age about too many traumas.
You still need to have a good boundary there.
Yep.
I want them to have structure,
and I want them to know that they're safe.
Yep.
So many of us didn't have a perfect childhood.
It is good to know it's never too late to break that cycle
and change course for the sake of our kids.
Everybody, can we just give a big round of applause
and a big thank you to David Campbell...
(APPLAUSE) ..Father of the Year.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)
Coming up.
You know I'm scared of heights.
How do our kids respond when fear takes hold?
I don't want... I don't want to.
And when they need you most...
Don't think about it. Don't look down.
It's fine. It's-it's safe.
..are you ready to lead?
Plus, the panel vote.
We could go to a tie here.
Who knows how this is gonna play out?
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
We're talking mental health and how we lay good foundations
while equipping our kids to understand it,
talk about it and manage it.
Parenting is all about lifting our kids up
but what happens
when they are literally hanging in the air?
For our final challenge, one child from each family
is taken on a thrilling, high flying adventure.
Meanwhile, their families are on the sidelines
offering encouragement.
This isn't just about your children's bravery.
It's about how parents coach their kids through fear and anxiety,
looking at the tactics that you're going to enlist.
In Australia, anxiety disorders
are the most common mental health issue
among children 14 and up.
Ironically, facing fears can help to reduce anxiety.
Avoidance, on the other hand, reinforces anxiety.
This challenge will reveal how the Focus Parents coach
their children during a potentially scary situation.
What tools are they gonna use to encourage their kids
to do the risky thing?
(MESSAGE ALERT)
We've got a text.
Jasper.
Why me?
You're just the chosen one.
You can do it, buddy.
Let's do it. You can do it.
How exciting. Let's go.
In this challenge, the children will ascend
to the top of a tall structure.
And with hearts racing,
it is up to the parents to help them build up the courage
to take the plunge.
Welcome to the great Aussie bush camp, buddy.
Your leap of faith challenge today
is to get pulled up 13m,
and you're gonna pull a ripcord
and go for an exhilarating giant swing
in this area here and over the lake.
How does that sound?
Scary. Sounds scary?
(LAUGHS)
As life school parents, it is extremely important
that our kids push themselves and take themselves out
of their comfort zone.
You know I'm scared of heights.
I'm gonna pass out.
Remember when we went on that big gorge walk
and we went right to the top?
And we're like, "Who's gonna jump from this height?"
What did you say?
"There's no growth in your comfort zone?"
Yeah.
This is not past your limits
because I've seen you jump off that rock climb.
Most of our fears that
we get is more our mind
taking over rather than reality itself.
How do you feel?
Nervous.
Nervous is normal.
Oh, I'm gonna shi... That's alright.
(LAUGHTER) Alright.
Jasper, when you're ready, buddy.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(YELLS)
Well done. Do it again.
You wanna go again or... No.
(LAUGHTER)
Oh.
Oh, my god.
As positivity parents, it isn't that big of a deal
whether the kids do something or not.
What is important to us is them giving it a go.
You get to pull a little cord, release yourself,
and go for an epic swing.
I'm so excited.
You guys have to do this after I do it.
No chance.
Let's go, Mila.
So, you're not even scared one single bit.
Look at you. Oh, my god. Yay.
(LAUGHTER)
I think Mila was very sure of herself
because of the way we do parent her.
You know, doing our positive affirmations
is incredible for building their confidence.
Three, two.
Let's go, Mil. One.
(YELLS) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Oh, my god. Let's go, Mila!
If I went up there, you know how you have to pull?
I would have loved if you went up there.
I would have... I would have just not pulled it.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
I'm so proud of you. (LAUGHTER)
Yes. High five.
I'm scared. It's OK.
As authoritative parents,
we have very high expectations of our children.
I don't think she want to disappoint us.
We did offer a small amount of virtual money
for her to participate.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh, no. Scary.
It's so high up.
Remember what you can get after this?
Robux. (CHUCKLES)
You are now on the zipline.
Go, Stacey. OK. So, deep breath for me.
OK.
Whenever you're ready, Stacey.
I'm scared.
(WHIMPERS)
Yay!
Well done, Stacey. I'm proud of you.
You're so brave.
Great. Well done, guys.
(APPLAUSE)
Panel parents, what did we think?
You did great.
All-all of you did great at the pep talk,
that building their courage up to go,
"You've got this."
The life school family did a great job.
I wanna steal that line, "No growth in your comfort zone."
Yeah. I love that.
That was really good. Yeah. That was really good.
That-that came from him.
I really liked how you explained how they've done it before
and how it was... they could overcome it
if they just put their mind to it.
I really like that. You were great.
Yeah. Good reminder of...
It was also impressive what the positivity parents said.
They just got up straight and did it.
Our-our daughter, Mila, she's a very big daredevil.
We-we just had the pleasure of watching her.
Yeah. She was really confident. Yeah. She was.
Elvie and Sean, I noticed a little bit of bribery.
I felt like Stacey was only pretending
because she has done more, um, dangerous ride than this.
She probably just trying to get the reward she wants.
(LAUGHTER)
I think bribery can be a really useful tool
just to fully get out their potential.
Bribery is the easy way out,
where it becomes more like a transaction.
Yeah.
We don't feel like that's the right thing to do.
Yep.
As upfront parents, we're all for a bribe.
When you have four children that need to be in the car
at 08:15 every morning with their shoes, their bags,
their violins, their...
(MAKES HURRYING SOUNDS)
get in the car on time,
and you can have three lollies at the end.
Boom.
When it comes to reward, yes, it motivates kids.
But what does it motivate them to do?
It motivates them not to do the task but to get the reward.
There are better ways to encourage our children.
Provide a really clear rationale for why.
The high dive looks really big now, but if you try it,
you might feel really proud afterwards.
When kids associate these tasks with personal satisfaction or joy,
you'll find that kids buy in and they don't have to be bribed.
We have one more parenting style to have a look at.
Shall we see how our hard way parents went
with the Dare to Fly Challenge?
Here we go.
Watch this guy that you can see what you're gonna be trying.
Wow.
As hard way parents,
it's always important for the kids to step out
of their comfort zone and try something new.
And you need to push them and encourage them to do more.
Yeah. Support them to see how much they're capable of 'cause
they'll surprise you sometimes.
Tell me. What are you thinking? Talk to me.
That's fine. That's fine. Maybe try to do it once.
Do it, Mohannad. You'll be the master at it.
That's right.
I knew he was putting on a brave face.
Keep looking up. I think he can.
But I know deep down his side, he was scared.
Let's go, my man.
You can do it, man.
It's a small platform, not a lot of space up there.
Mohannad, just-just pretend you're still down the bottom. OK?
It'll be over... Take your time.
Don't think about it.
It's fine. It's-it's safe.
Don't think about it. Don't look down.
One, two, three.
Lean out, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it,
you can do it, you can do it.
Good boy, man. Good boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's really scary. (TENSE MUSIC)
Hold on tight.
Right now, on the count of three, you're gonna jump off.
Ready? Don't want to.
One, two, three. I don't want.
I don't want to. No.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Two, three. Lean out, you can do it,
you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it.
Good boy, man. Good boy. It's really scary.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Right now, on the count of three.
You're gonna jump off. Ready? Don't want to.
One, two, three. I don't want.
I don't want to. Bend your knee.
You don't want to? No.
That's OK.
We're not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna do.
Do you wanna...
Do you wanna watch someone else go first? Yeah?
Should we make your dad have a go first
so, you can watch him have a go?
Are we good? Maybe then go afterwards?
How's that sound? Yeah?
Put your second hand on the bar.
Alright. Now, just bend your knees.
It's very high.
I am scared but I have to lead by example.
Little jump, little jump, go. Yes.
AH! very nice and easy.
Wow!
See how easy it is?
You can do it, buddy.
You can do it. That was so much fun.
You can do it? I reckon you can too.
He's gonna do it.
Prep, little jump off. Go, go, go.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Well done.
Well done, Mohannad. So proud of you.
Oh, nice one.
Loved it. You are great role models.
There's that fine line between forcing him
and encouraging him and going.
Of course. That's right.
Even after I had done it and he didn't wanna do it...
Yeah. We were fine with that. We're totally gonna understand that.
As long as he saw his dad doing it.
I think that's what it's all about too.
I like that Hassan led by example.
Yeah. I love that he did that. Yeah.
(TENSE MUSIC)
We've had some vital conversations in this room,
and we have learned so much from each of our Focus Parents.
Navigating our kids' mental health can be challenging
but tonight's insights and tools will help
lighten the load for all of us.
OK. We need to get to our panel discussion.
Focus Parents, I'll ask you now to please step up
and out of the room.
Thank you.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Panel Parents, back row. Come down to the front.
We're gonna discuss each of the parenting styles
and how effectively it lays the foundation
for children's long-term emotional resilience
and mental well-being.
Remember, we're looking for parents
who develop autonomy and competence,
foster healthy emotional regulation,
create a sense of belonging,
and encourage resilience and confidence.
Let's start by talking about Josh and Cassie.
I think there's a lot to learn from the life school parents,
and the boys show it really well.
They really seem to be well rounded kids.
I don't think they got through all the challenge points.
When the baby was crying,
they eventually worked out we have to change it.
Like the older boy, you could tell he had been
around that situation.
Mmm.
So, he kinda had a bit more forward thinking of what to do.
I was concerned with the comment one of the boys made about,
you know, he has to cry in secrecy.
Do you guys cry much? I do.
No, I don't. Not too much.
Secretly.
Even one of, uh, Josh's comments was,
"We've gotta be men. We've gotta be masculine."
That still didn't sit well with me.
Elvie and Sean.
Everything was disciplined.
It's like, if you do this, I'll give you this,
or if you don't do this, this will happen.
Concentrate. Concentrate. I am.
I think it's very cultural.
I take my hat off to them for implementing what they believe.
In a culture that doesn't necessarily support that...
Yeah. ..it must be hard.
They're obviously very articulate.
I think the answer to having your inner voice
was one of the best answers.
Mental health is how you feel and how you talk to yourself.
They obviously talk about it, so, there's a lot of positive things
that are happening there.
OK. Let's talk about our hard way parents, Amanda and Hassan.
The thing I really liked about the trapeze challenge
was dad said, "You know what?
I'm not really great with heights but I'm gonna do this.
"I'm gonna give it a go."
And he gave it a crack, and then, you know,
the-the son follows.
Well done, Mohannad, so proud of you.
They showed in that domino challenge
that they knew Youssef needed to be removed at that point in time
to get the challenge moving forward.
I don't think you should reward kids
if they're having a tantrum.
I don't agree with rewarding bad behaviour.
Our positivity parents.
I wrote down that they might have been a bit too involved
with some of the tasks.
Teamwork makes the...
Dream work.
Are we doing teamwork right now?
But the girls are still young.
When my kids were five, I probably was hands on too.
Yeah.
You can't criticise how confident the girls are.
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
(SCREAMS IN JOY)
The eldest daughter just got in there, gave it a go.
It was quick, sharp. OK.
It was a... Three, two, one bang and...
It was a challenge. Going out there, pull it.
Easy.
Alright.
Well, I think we've had some really good discussion around
which parenting style handled mental health the best.
Return to your seats.
We are ready to bring the Focus Parents back in.
Focus Parents, the panel has talked it out,
and they are ready to share their thoughts.
Nathan and Joanne, our traditional parents.
We agonised over it
because there's so many great points to take.
We ended up going with the, uh, the life school parents,
Josh and Cassie.
Looking at your boys, um, there's so much evidence
of how resilient they are, you know,
when they interact with each other and-and everything else.
That's a really good marker for us in terms of,
uh, their mental health.
Thank you. Thank you.
We believe the positivity parents was best aligned with mental health.
We really like the confidence of your young girls, uh,
and that says a lot about, obviously,
the conversations you've had with them.
Even if they're sometimes saying the wrong thing.
(CHUCKLES)
They've got a voice and they're not afraid to use it,
and that's important for mental health.
BOTH: Thank you.
I think you've all done amazing,
um, but we've also chosen the positivity parents.
I think, uh, when it comes to mental health,
you guys are nailing it.
You've done really well.
The main thing that I loved was the daily affirmations.
I think that's so beautiful.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Well done, positivity.
I mean, we-we could go to a tie here.
Who knows how this is gonna play out?
It all comes down to you, Mark and Tammy.
You've got the deciding vote.
It was really difficult.
The family that we probably learned the most about mental health
was from the life school parents.
And we saw the connections that they have and the ability
that they have to be able to just get stuff done
and problem solve and work through things.
Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for the feedback.
(APPLAUSE)
That is a tie for the first time ever in Parental Guidance's history.
The parents with the best parental guidance
when it comes to building good mental health are
positivity parents Nick and Sofia.
(APPLAUSE)
And our life school parents, Josh and Cassie.
(APPLAUSE)
Appreciate the feedback from, you know, fellow parental peers.
I'm just so happy that we are all here
and we're all talking about mental health.
We're all learning but at the end of the day,
mental health is the most important thing.
You've tackled
some of the hardest parenting conversations head on.
And if there's one thing we can all agree on,
it's that parenting is always evolving.
By having these conversations and learning from each other,
we walk away better equipped, more confident,
and ready to guide our kids through
whatever the modern world throws at them.
For me, the experience was an eye opener
because you are your children's biggest role model.
You are the person that they're looking to
every single day for guidance.
(LAUGHTER) Group hug.
You know, nobody's perfect,
and I have definitely learned something from that.
I will go home being a better parent
thanks to what I've heard from you in this room.
(THEME MUSIC)