1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:02,320 ALLY LANGDON (PRESENTS): This episode 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:03,400 of Parental Guidance contains 3 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,440 references to self-harm and mental illness. 4 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,280 Some viewers may find these topics challenging. 5 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,400 Viewer discretion is advised. 6 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,080 Parenthood is a wild ride. 7 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,600 Mum and dad are the best. 8 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,800 They make our day. 9 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,520 We love you. We love you too. 10 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,880 And the stakes are sky high. 11 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,920 Our young people, 12 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,080 we say that we've got it under control. 13 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,320 We don't. 14 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,400 In this special event series of Parental Guidance, 15 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,240 we've confronted the most critical issues 16 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,760 facing families today. 17 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,760 Screen time, peer pressure, body image. 18 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,520 It's so important that we as parents educate ourselves 19 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,480 about what's available to our children. 20 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,800 And giving parents the tools to find a way through. 21 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,360 This is a life experience 22 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,600 that we will learn from and grow from 23 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,120 and implement. 24 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,320 Thanks, mate. 25 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,200 Tonight, in the final 26 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,560 of these ground-breaking investigations. 27 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,040 We have an incredible 28 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,360 mental illness challenge in this country. 29 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,320 I was scared to tell people, and it was tough. 30 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,000 It's the invisible crisis crippling the nation. 31 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,960 I've been to the mental hospitals with him. 32 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,240 I've been on the street with him. 33 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,320 How can parents help lay the foundations 34 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,600 for good mental health? 35 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,280 You're being mean. I'm not being mean. 36 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,360 If I was your daughter, 37 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,600 would I be able to come to you to tell you that? 38 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,400 I don't have that problem, and I won't have that problem. 39 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,800 (TENSE MUSIC) 40 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,720 An eye-opening look... You can do it, buddy. 41 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,200 ..into the best ways to support our kids' 42 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,480 emotional well-being. 43 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,120 ...there's no growth in your comfort zone. 44 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,080 Yeah. And set them up. 45 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,480 (KIDS SCREAM IN EXCITEMENT) 46 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,560 For mental resilience. 47 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,640 I'm proud of you. You're so brave. 48 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,680 (THEME MUSIC) 49 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,720 ('DIAMOND' BY TEMMPO PLAYS) 50 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,640 Focus Parents, welcome. 51 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,400 Elvie and Sean, nice to see you. 52 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,120 Nice to meet you. You too. 53 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,360 Hey, Amanda and Hassan. 54 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,440 How are you? Good. 55 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,600 How are you? 56 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,760 Ready to go? 57 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:05,960 Absolutely. Very excited. 58 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,360 Hey, Panel Parents. Hi, guys. 59 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,200 Welcome to the Parenting Olympics. 60 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,520 Now, there are no medals. 61 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,720 (CHUCKLES) 62 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,240 There is just the glory of knowing you 63 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,920 might have done it right 64 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,840 and you got through another day. 65 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,360 (LAUGHTER) 66 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,960 This side of the room, you're back in the hot seat. 67 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,720 You are our Focus Parents. 68 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,520 And over here, you guys, you are our Panel Parents. 69 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,160 So, watch carefully and take notes. 70 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,120 You'll be voting at the end of the night 71 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,720 on who you learnt the most from. 72 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,000 Tonight, we are diving into one of the most important 73 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,560 and challenging topics in parenting... 74 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,440 mental health. 75 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,200 As parents, there's a lot we can do to build the foundations 76 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,000 for our children's best possible mental health. 77 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,360 Tonight, we will explore how we can raise resilient 78 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,200 and confident kids 79 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,760 in a world that kind of feels more overwhelming than ever 80 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,640 and how to tackle the tough moments when they arise. 81 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,320 Right now, mental health issues among kids 82 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,480 and young adults are at an all-time high. 83 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,600 Australia is in the middle of a mental health crisis, 84 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:25,840 particularly for young people, with stress, anxiety, depression, 85 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,320 and self-harm all on the rise. 86 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,080 As parents, the strongest defence 87 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,040 is helping kids build emotional well-being, 88 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,400 connections and resilience. 89 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:39,880 Alright. 90 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:44,120 Focus Parents, remind us of your parenting styles. 91 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,160 Josh and Cassie. 92 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,920 We are the life school parents. We live in our caravan. 93 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,760 We learn from real life experiences while giving our kids freedom. 94 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,040 (LAUGHTER) Smile! 95 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,400 (CAMERA CLICKS) 96 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,000 As life school parents, we've travelled around Australia for 97 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,240 the past three years, giving our kids lifetime memories. 98 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,080 Our kids have experienced 99 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,400 more than what most kids will in a whole lifetime. 100 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,360 Everyone's so rushed these days. 101 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,560 Our kids are much happier, much more relaxed. 102 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,240 They're certainly not wrapped up in bubble wrap. 103 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:22,040 If they hurt themselves, unfortunately, they hurt themselves. 104 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,800 One of the biggest dangers wrapping your kids in cotton wool 105 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,960 is that it doesn't build resilience, 106 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,840 and then that's when we do have a lot of these mental health issues. 107 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,320 Alrighty. Our life school parents. 108 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,760 You look like you're all best mates. 109 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,160 Yeah, it's lovely. You know what I mean? 110 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,600 You're all together. There's no arguments. 111 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,800 There's no conflict. There is. 112 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,160 There probably is. There probably is. 113 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,880 (LAUGHTER) Don't get me wrong but... 114 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,080 It's a very well rounded family. 115 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,240 I am the second youngest of eight kids, 116 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,000 and that really helped to shape the style of parents 117 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,040 we wanted to be. 118 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,920 Elvie and Sean. 119 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,160 We are the authoritative parents. 120 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,160 We have high expectations on our children. 121 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,280 We set strict rules and boundaries. 122 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,560 Say cheese. 123 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,200 ALL: Cheese. 124 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,480 Big smile. (CAMERA CLICKS) 125 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,560 As an authoritative parent, we set a lot of rules 126 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:16,280 with high expectations for our children to follow. 127 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,200 Esme, Stacey, lunch. 128 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,320 Better be quick. 129 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,720 Otherwise, mum will come. 130 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,000 I sometimes can be quite mean to them. 131 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,600 You're not stopping? 132 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,800 I raise my voice. Now! 133 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,640 Children who... Now. 134 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,080 ..get used to people being harsh to them 135 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,840 will build their resilience. 136 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,360 We also believe in yin and yang. 137 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:42,920 We do some mindfulness activities like yoga and massage. 138 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,080 That's crazy. 139 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,760 Mental health is super important to be a happy 140 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,520 and also a successful person. 141 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,360 OK. What did we think of our authoritative parents? 142 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,360 I completely agree with those rules and expectations. 143 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,520 It's, like, I have to be the mean mum sometimes. 144 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,160 I think that is not necessarily a bad thing. 145 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,400 Thank you. Thank you. 146 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,640 And Amanda and Hassan. 147 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,120 We are the hard way parents. 148 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,480 We do things the hard way. 149 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,680 No shortcuts. 150 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,000 It's hard on us but great for the kids. 151 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,280 Everyone, say cheese! 152 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,600 Say, cheese. Yeah. 153 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,800 (CAMERA CLICKS) ALL: Cheese. 154 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,080 We see a lot of parents take the easy way 155 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,080 with a lot of screen time, eating unhealthy food. 156 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,160 Do you just give them the screen and you're sitting down, 157 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,480 putting your feet up having a coffee? 158 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,480 Yeah, you're not parenting. You're taking the easy way out. 159 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,880 It's the easy way out. Yeah. Good job. 160 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,560 We give our kids a lot of praise. 161 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,160 And it's all about making them feel good, 162 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,760 so, nothing goes unnoticed. 163 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,680 I cleaned up the lounge. 164 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,680 Ooh! I vacuumed. 165 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,360 Well done. You can get a well done sticker. 166 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,200 High five. 167 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,320 We prioritise mental health, always checking in on the kids. 168 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,360 Are you happy? Are you sad? 169 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,520 Because we're always around. Yeah. 170 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,360 We can see if someone's a bit down, we approach them. 171 00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,880 So... Yeah. Are you OK? How are you feeling? 172 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,240 If they come home from school stressed, 173 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,360 let's go for a walk. 174 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,800 Well done. Yes. Yay! Done it. 175 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,040 There's a lot to learn from that. 176 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,560 We work together as a team a lot, 177 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,520 and we do a lot of things the hard way, really. 178 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,720 Yeah. I love that. 179 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,320 No. I think it's good that you praise them. 180 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,200 Every single day, we praise them. 181 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,880 We encourage them and motivate them. 182 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,040 If they've done something, 183 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,800 we always tell them, "you've done a good job". 184 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,960 We just try and praise them as much as we can. 185 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,200 From my opinion, as authoritative parents, 186 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:32,800 we kind of give them honest opinion rather than praising them, good job. 187 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,360 We give them a honest feedback. 188 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,360 It's totally natural for parents to want to praise their kids. 189 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,640 Unfortunately, what happens with praise 190 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,440 is kids start to look to their parents 191 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,320 for extrinsic validation no matter what they're doing. 192 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,040 "Did I do this right? Did I do that right?" 193 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,880 We can create praise junkies. 194 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,000 We're better off saying, "Thanks," expressing appreciation, 195 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,560 or encouraging our children to reflect 196 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,640 and asking them if they think they did well 197 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,200 and what they would do next time if they were to do it again. 198 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:09,160 OK. Nick and Sofia, how do you guys do it? 199 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,920 We are the positivity parents, 200 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,840 which means we take a positive approach 201 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,200 to everything we do. 202 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,240 In order to build confidence and self-esteem. 203 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,200 ALL: Hi, Bestie. 204 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,920 (CAMERA CLICKS) (UPBEAT MUSIC) 205 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,960 As positivity parents, we teach our kids to be kind, 206 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,360 inclusive, humble and generous. 207 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,240 You are powerful. 208 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,680 We definitely build up our children's self-esteem 209 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,240 every single day by doing positive affirmations. 210 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,160 We've done it consistently for years. 211 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,040 Sofi is able to work from home as a content creator. 212 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,320 One, two. 213 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,960 Hi, bestie. 214 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,200 The 'Hi, bestie!' videos have been happening 215 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,000 since Aleks was two. 216 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,080 The most views is 53 million. 217 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,280 People have said that it's helped them with depression, 218 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,320 that it's helped their mum who has dementia. 219 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,920 The teachers have played it in school. 220 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,640 Being kind to someone and being positive 221 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,280 is never gonna be bad. 222 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,560 The affirmations in kids is awesome. 223 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,640 Thank you. 224 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:17,800 And in ourselves as well, not just kids but, yeah, everyone. 225 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,480 I love the positive message. 226 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,880 It's very cute but I probably wouldn't be comfortable 227 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,240 with having my kids on TikTok. 228 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,680 I'd be worried that they'd be looking for 229 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,440 approval via the likes. 230 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,440 We've never said, "Hey, Aleks or Mila, 231 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,720 "this video that you've done got 50 million views." 232 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,920 They have no idea about that. 233 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,160 If they didn't wanna do it, you'd be OK with... 234 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,760 I would be OK with that. ..taking that off. 235 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,280 Yeah. Then it would be done. 236 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,480 I never wanna force my kids into anything. 237 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:45,680 Yeah. 238 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,360 OK, four different parenting styles 239 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,120 facing the challenges tonight. 240 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,160 Panel Parents, don't forget to take notes. 241 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,080 At the end of all the challenges, we'll be asking you to choose 242 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,000 which parenting style equips their kids best 243 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,920 for emotional well-being and mental resilience, 244 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,960 the foundations of good mental health. 245 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,720 You're gonna be looking for which parenting style you think 246 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,720 helps develop autonomy and competence, 247 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,720 fosters healthy emotional regulation, 248 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,760 creates a sense of belonging 249 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,600 and encourages resilience and confidence. 250 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,360 While there is something of a genetic lottery involved, 251 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,680 there are lot of things that we can do as parents 252 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,240 to set our kids up 253 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,560 to have the best mental health possible. 254 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,880 The way that we support, the way that we listen, 255 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,240 the way that we guide them can make an enormous difference. 256 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,760 Shall we do a challenge? 257 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,440 Yes. (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHTER) 258 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,280 Parents are literally their kids' first role models. 259 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,960 We wanna see what they've learned from you 260 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,640 about empathy and caring for others, 261 00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:00,200 both important elements of maintaining good mental health. 262 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,360 We gave them a realistic toddler doll to look after. 263 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,080 Do they know how to be nurturing towards the baby, 264 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,320 how to meet its needs? 265 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:14,280 So, what have your kids picked up from you? 266 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,440 The role models in their life. 267 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,520 Even at a very young age, kids copy what their parents do. 268 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,560 In this challenge, 269 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,240 we'll see what they've learned about caring for a child 270 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,080 from watching mum and dad. 271 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,200 A crucial part of kids' mental health 272 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,360 is feeling like their needs are being met. 273 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,160 This challenge will show us what these children have observed 274 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,200 about how to look after a child. 275 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,160 Kids, we got a message. Oh. 276 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,480 OK. Are you ready? 277 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,560 Yeah. Sure. 278 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,760 Oh, how exciting. 279 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,720 Our side of parenting is to be good role models for our kids. 280 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,400 So, we do everything together as a family. 281 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,640 There's a baby. 282 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,760 Oh. 283 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,360 With this task, I think the kids will do really well 284 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,520 because they do this on a daily basis with their sister. 285 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,000 We include everyone from Lamis down to Youssef. 286 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,720 (DOLL CRIES) Oh, it's OK. 287 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,880 Rock her, do this. Do this. 288 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,480 Youssef is really nurturing 289 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,160 and caring when it comes to looking after his baby sister. 290 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,280 Give her a bottle. Give a bottle. 291 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,480 Say, "It's OK, baby." Hey, baby. 292 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,960 When baby Zaynab was born, Youssef was very jealous. 293 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,040 Mm-hm. 294 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,440 And the way we overcame that is we got him involved. 295 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,520 You wanna give her blanket? Yeah. 296 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,720 Her blanket. It's her bedtime. 297 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,800 Yes. It's her bedtime. 298 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,240 Maybe-maybe she has this to sleep. 299 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,040 Give her a dummy so she doesn't cry? 300 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,600 Shh. Oh. 301 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,760 What's going on? 302 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,360 How'd you guys go? What happened? 303 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,880 She's sleeping. Oh, wow. 304 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,360 Good job. 305 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,400 (APPLAUSE) 306 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,360 Wow. Baby. 307 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,840 As authoritative parents, 308 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,960 I've given our daughters a lot of, uh, rules. 309 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,440 So, that make it easier for them to copy those rules 310 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,560 and then apply it when they try to take care of others. 311 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,960 Why-why don't you want to eat your breakfast? 312 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,120 If you don't eat the breakfast, no screen time for you. 313 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,280 (CHUCKLES) Real? (DOLL CRIES) 314 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,160 Did you just cry after she said that? 315 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,600 (CHUCKLES) 316 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,920 What? I'm just being mum. 317 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,320 My children, sometimes, they call me 318 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,600 the most mean mum in the world. 319 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,160 Yeah. That's right. (CHUCKLES) 320 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,840 No iPad for you. 321 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,320 As an authoritative parent, 322 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,880 I think we have a good guys and bad guys role. 323 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:01,600 So, Sean will be the one who comfort the children. 324 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,200 Why won't it stop crying? 325 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,280 Honestly, leave it here. 326 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,480 And just wait for it to stop crying. 327 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,880 We did implement cry out approach really strictly. 328 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,360 12 month of cry out approach. 329 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,840 Even though Stacey cry really loud up to an hour, 330 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,560 we still pretend not hearing that. 331 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,000 (DOLL CRIES) 332 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,040 (MIMICS CRIES) 333 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,200 OK. 334 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,800 Hard way parents, your kids did really well. 335 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,400 The younger one did that really well. 336 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:45,560 Yeah. He did. He did very well. 337 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,400 And I love that they were all very involved with him. 338 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,600 Yeah. 339 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,120 With the authority parents, there was a few points. 340 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,680 They cried it out for an hour. 341 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,480 It's wild to me. Me too. 342 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,960 I know some people it works for them but it feels like mean for the baby. 343 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,120 You're just stressing the baby. Yeah. You're stressing the baby. 344 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,200 It's not good. Yeah. 345 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,520 I felt a bit uncomfortable. 346 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,720 The baby cries for a reason. You need to find out. 347 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,160 It's either it's got wind, it's hungry, it's got a nappy. 348 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,320 You need to find out the reason why they're crying. 349 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,440 The first child, Esme, 350 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,160 we did try the cry out approach 351 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,120 with the company of Sean on the bedside. 352 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,600 So, Esme actually, obviously, it was very hard to put her to bed. 353 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,000 It didn't work for her but I couldn't handle it. 354 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,960 But Stacey, the second child, we kind of, like, 355 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,160 have enough for the first child for not having good sleep. 356 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,440 So, did you feel that controlled crying worked with Stacey? 357 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,160 Worked for the first 12 months. 358 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,040 I did it with one of the girls. 359 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,720 She screamed from probably 7pm till 3am 360 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,600 every single night, all night. 361 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,920 It was horrific, 362 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,480 and I think it actually had a really detrimental effect 363 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,080 on her beginning. 364 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,160 From a mental health perspective, some parents will say, 365 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,720 "We've got to try this. 366 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,160 "It's the only way we're gonna get through." 367 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,800 In terms of research around the children, 368 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,280 nobody should be doing this with a baby below six months of age. 369 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,520 Similarly, nobody should be leaving a baby in the room 370 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,280 all night to cry it out. 371 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,480 There comes a point where you must intervene. 372 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:19,120 Our children need to know that we're there for them. 373 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,600 This would all be so much easier if we had a village around us 374 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,480 who could come in and take the load off 375 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,600 for a night or two 376 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,680 so, that you can get the sleep that you need. 377 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,280 Unfortunately, for too many of us, 378 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,480 society doesn't work that way anymore 379 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,240 but this is one of our great challenges. 380 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,840 Coming up in the final instalment 381 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,720 of our special event series. 382 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,400 We get to learn everything. 383 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,080 The kids spill the tea. 384 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,680 Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha 385 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,040 and just lay on the couch. 386 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,600 (LAUGHTER) 387 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,840 Temperatures rise with the year's most heated debate. 388 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,280 I'm really anti that boys will be boys. 389 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,920 We should be very careful not to feminise our males. 390 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:01,320 And later, one of the country's favourite TV personalities, 391 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,400 David Campbell... Alright. 392 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,840 (APPLAUSE) How are you doing? 393 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,360 ..pulls back the curtain on his own mental health struggles. 394 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,200 I shut down. 395 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,240 I was scared to tell people. 396 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,240 Then which parenting style has the best approach... 397 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,000 Ticked all the boxes and moved along. 398 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,520 That still didn't sit well with me. 399 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,840 ..when it comes to mental health? 400 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,800 The family that we've learned the most about 401 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,320 mental health was... 402 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,200 (TENSE MUSIC) 403 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,560 ('GET RIGHT' BY TOM OAKS PLAYS) 404 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,520 We're talking about how to give kids the foundations 405 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,560 for the best possible mental health. 406 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,160 We're in the middle of a challenge testing 407 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,040 what the focus kids have learnt 408 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,120 about meeting a child's needs, a 409 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,880 key element of emotional well-being. 410 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,040 Alright. 411 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:50,520 So, let's have a look at how our next two families went. 412 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,480 Seeing how a child parents a doll can tell us quite a lot about 413 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,320 how the child parented or how they perceive parenting. 414 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,400 In this challenge, 415 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,000 we're looking for what the kids have learned 416 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,360 from their parents when it comes to nurturing and empathy. 417 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,000 Oh, my god. Hurray. 418 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,240 This so cute. That's so cute. 419 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,920 I'm gonna be the mum. I'm gonna act like dad. 420 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,160 I'm gonna be the mum. (CHUCKLES) 421 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,800 As positive parents, we definitely do fall 422 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,000 into a traditional family role. 423 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,280 I stay at home. 424 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,120 I do all the things that, you know, a mum does. 425 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,920 I cook. I clean. I shop. I take care of the kids. 426 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,840 I take them absolutely everywhere. 427 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,360 I take care of Nick. 428 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,480 It is a traditional role but then again, 429 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,680 it's not because he'll then load the dishwasher. 430 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,360 (LAUGHTER) 431 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,720 (DOLL CRIES) No. Oh, no. 432 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,440 It's... 433 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,000 She's hungry. 434 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,400 It's just a dummy. 435 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,600 The things that they did that worked well was 436 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,280 they were being extremely attentive to whatever the baby was asking for. 437 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,960 Hey, I'm the one feeding her. 438 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,240 No, I'm the mother, give me her. 439 00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,960 Go and wash the dishes. 440 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000 No, you wash the dishes. 441 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,200 (LAUGHS) 442 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,960 The dad always wash the dishes. 443 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,840 Hey. Hey. Hey. 444 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,520 But then Mila wanted to be in charge of the baby doll. 445 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,840 Yeah. 446 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,360 And Aleks, I could hear, was like, "I'm mum. 447 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,000 "I need to be doing that." 448 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,960 No. I'm the mum. I know best. 449 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,520 Mums are older. Give me her. 450 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,280 We can't break the baby. We're not. 451 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,680 Give her give her to me. I'm gonna dress her. 452 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,600 Yeah. They would... They-they could improve on. 453 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,640 Uh... 454 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,080 Sharing. Yeah. 455 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,680 They could improve on sharing. Sharing. 456 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,520 You go and edit your videos. 457 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:34,920 I don't need to edit. 458 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,840 I love my baby more than editing. I'm not gonna edit anymore. 459 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,760 Who was mummy and who was daddy? 460 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,880 I'm mum. I'm dad. 461 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,600 You're mum? Yep. 462 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,160 Daddy's changing Bonnie? 463 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,680 Mm-hm. Yep. 464 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,200 But don't you think mum should have done most of the work? 465 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,280 Who dresses you in the morning? 466 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,360 You. Who dresses you for dance? 467 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,000 Who dresses you when you finish dance? 468 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,720 Like, the only time dad dresses you is maybe if he gives you a shower. 469 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,760 Yeah. We-we don't have any rule putting the PJs on. 470 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,920 OK. Mila, Mila, listen to me. 471 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,040 But dad does and then she snatched it off me. 472 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,440 Mila, listen... Can I just... Can I... 473 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,320 Mila, I dress you all the time. 474 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,880 Dad dresses us at night and it was... 475 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,160 I get it. ..her bed time. 476 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,640 I understand. Listen. I understand. 477 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,280 I don't think you do. 478 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,400 I'm just saying because you're saying 479 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,840 that mummy didn't... doesn't dress you and stuff 480 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,640 when mummy's always with you. 481 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,800 You're being mean. I'm not being mean. 482 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,720 I'm sorry that you think I'm being mean. I'm not. 483 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,440 You guys did a good job. Both of you have done a good job. 484 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,600 (KISSES HEAD) 485 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:34,760 Hey. It's alright. 486 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,280 It's just a game. 487 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,240 You don't need to take it so seriously. 488 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,520 Yes. It's just a challenge. 489 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,560 OK. I love how you said, "It's just a game." 490 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,520 Are you telling yourself that? "It's just a game." 491 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,800 She said that dad dresses her at night-time for bed. 492 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,200 So, was that not right? Sometimes. 493 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,560 Yeah, no, sometimes. No, no, no. 494 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,040 Oh, she does. So, she was right. 495 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,400 Yeah. 496 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,240 Are you just, like, competing, though? 497 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,120 Like, with like, who cares who's doing it? 498 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,760 You or your husband? No. No. Definitely not. 499 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,640 It's got nothing to do with competition. 500 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680 Yeah. 501 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,520 It's got to do with I'm taking care of my child... 502 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,880 Yeah. ..and I hope she knows that. 503 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,200 I just wanted her to be truthful. 504 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,760 Was that about accuracy, 505 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,480 or is it more about you needing validation? 506 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,600 Part of me was like, she honestly doesn't think dad 507 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,400 is the one dressing... I'm with them 24 hours a day. 508 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:29,840 I'm raising a human that I want to be truthful and honest. 509 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,000 Sofia, I think that you want your daughter 510 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,560 to see things your way. 511 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,240 Yeah. But... Not that you want her to be honest. 512 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,440 Oh, OK. (CHUCKLES) 513 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,680 She's being honest. Yeah. 514 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,160 And we've understood that Nick is involved in the dressing. 515 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,280 Yeah. 516 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,320 But because you want the validation, 517 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:50,040 she's hearing that her view isn't right. 518 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,440 She's being told to doubt her own voice 519 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,680 and that you control the narrative. 520 00:21:54,720 --> 00:22:00,480 When our children don't feel heard, that's when they feel controlled. 521 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,120 That's a good point. Yeah. Fair. 522 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,560 It can erode trust, 523 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,920 damage connection and have a lasting impact 524 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,800 on their emotional well-being. 525 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,920 Yeah. 526 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:16,960 Parenting is the most thankless task that is out there. 527 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:21,560 Our children will not appreciate what we have done for them 528 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,840 until they become parents themselves 529 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,200 and until they start to grapple with the same sacrifices 530 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,200 and challenges that we're making. 531 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,640 OK. We got one more to see. 532 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,080 Let's take a look at our life school parents. 533 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,120 Alright. Who's grabbing her? I'm not touching anything. 534 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,240 I'm not touching that thing. 535 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,280 I'm not... Bronson will. 536 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,600 Oh, come on! Why do I... 537 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,720 You wanted to try mums and dads. Come on, it's your turn then. 538 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,240 When it comes to how our kids view us as parents, 539 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,080 they would think we're easy-going and give them lots of freedom. 540 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,560 They've never necessarily spent time around babies. 541 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,640 I'm expecting crying 542 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,720 and the kids just not knowing what to do. 543 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,760 (DOLL CRIES) 544 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,000 Grab the doll. Help me. 545 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,320 (LAUGHS) 546 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,200 That's off putting. 547 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,560 You've changed someone's diaper? 548 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,960 Yeah. I've done Kingsley's before. 549 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,240 Really? I don't think I have. 550 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,640 I wanna stand on it. Alright, it's gonna cry. 551 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,200 Really don't want to her cry. 552 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,760 It's the world championship baby thrower. 553 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,720 (DOLL CRIES) 554 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,600 (LAUGHTER) No. 555 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,400 Baby just fine. Yeah. 556 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,800 (LAUGHTER) 557 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,600 Let's throw it to our Panel Parents. 558 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,040 Your eldest is gonna make a great father one day. 559 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,800 Obviously, he remembers having little siblings and, and then, 560 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,880 you know, they're playing. 561 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,160 They're mucking around having fun. The boys were boys. 562 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,360 I'm really anti that boys will be boys. 563 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,800 Like, it-it really does stereotype a type of behaviour that is not OK. 564 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,280 (TENSE MUSIC) 565 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,360 I think it's very important 566 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,880 whether you got boys or girls at home, 567 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,120 get them involved early. 568 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,240 Don't stereotype. 569 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,920 Because your young boys are gonna be men one day. 570 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,960 That's right. Yeah. 571 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,760 I think we should be very careful 572 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,200 not to feminise our males too much in society. 573 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,320 Oh. 574 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:29,840 (TENSE MUSIC) 575 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,680 But I think that it's OK if they wanted to be 576 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,200 a little bit more feminine. 577 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,040 Stereotyping that men should just be a certain way, 578 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,000 I think, can put a lot of pressure on men. 579 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,960 I'm definitely not saying, like, "Oh, don't do that. 580 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,240 "That's a woman's job." 581 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:47,520 But boys aren't naturally nurturing... 582 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,840 you know, and they showed that there, you know. 583 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:50,960 They can be. 584 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,720 If a man has to change a nappy or cook and clean, 585 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,240 it doesn't make him less of a man. 586 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,760 The first six to 12 months of the baby's life, 587 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,000 especially if you're naturally nursing, 588 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,520 the father is essentially non-existent. 589 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,240 All it cares for is mum. 590 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,560 Well, that can be controversial. 591 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,160 So, I try and help out but my child doesn't want me. 592 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,400 So, mum's stressed 'cause she's not getting a break. 593 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,720 Do you know why on that? 594 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,080 Because maybe the father didn't get involved early. 595 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,200 Hassan's involved from 596 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,760 when the baby's literally out of my stomach. 597 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,000 Oh, that's not advised. Yeah. Yeah. 598 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,040 I was pumping milk. 599 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,640 He was feeding at night, then I got up, like... 600 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,160 I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way no. 601 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,040 I didn't...I didn't catch what you said the first time. 602 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,520 No. No. No. What did you say the first time? 603 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,880 I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way, 604 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,160 your thoughts are really, "This is what goes on." 605 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,000 Fair enough in your world around the people 606 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,280 that you choose to hang around, 607 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,720 that might happen but that's not the whole world. 608 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:40,760 (TENSE MUSIC) 609 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,120 Also, I do feel a lot of men in this society these days as well 610 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,320 are not great men. 611 00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,520 I think we need to change that. 612 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,760 I don't want my boys to grow up thinking that 613 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:57,120 I can't be that robust, even stoic type of man now, 614 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,320 because it's not OK to tell the men 615 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:02,160 that are like that they shouldn't be. 616 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,640 We know 617 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:09,320 that the more men ascribe to unhealthy ideas 618 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:12,920 about what masculinity is, "I have to be tough, 619 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,640 I have to be self-sufficient, I can't seek support," 620 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,160 kind of man box ideal. 621 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,840 The more their mental health drops, 622 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,440 the more likely they are to be abusive or be abused. 623 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,240 I don't think that you should have gender roles 624 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:31,440 even from a young age. 625 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,360 The boys... My girls play with trucks... 626 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,440 Yeah. 627 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,200 ..just as much as my boys will play with dress ups. 628 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,960 Same thing. We don't do gender in our house. Yeah. 629 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000 And my boys' favourite colour, if you'd ask them right now, 630 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,960 it'd be pink. 631 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,960 It's more like identity than the role. 632 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,080 Would you accept your boys wearing skirts 633 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,920 as the normal appearance? 634 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,640 Yeah. I would. Honestly. 635 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,000 I-I mean, we haven't come down to that. 636 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,640 We haven't really had that conversation much. 637 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,960 But if he really decided that he wanted to change genders 638 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,720 when he was a teenager, that's a conversation we'd have. 639 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,760 Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman. 640 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:04,920 Yeah. Full stop. 641 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,160 If my kids decided well, they're not going to 642 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,560 but if they decided were men, 643 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,160 that wouldn't be an option in our house. 644 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,240 (CHUCKLES) So, very clear. 645 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,000 Oh, my god. 646 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,440 It won't happen. Strap in. 647 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,520 (LAUGHTER) Strap in. 648 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:25,080 (TENSE MUSIC) 649 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,000 Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman. (TENSE MUSIC) 650 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,080 Yeah. Full stop. 651 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,280 If my kids decided, 652 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,880 well, they're not going to but if they decided they were men, 653 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,000 that wouldn't be an option in our house. 654 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,240 But would you stop talking to them? 655 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,400 No. 656 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,080 We wouldn't stop talking to our children but it won't happen. 657 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,720 Yeah. Hope it doesn't. 658 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,760 You should... 659 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,440 You'd love your child no matter what, I think. 660 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:46,560 So... 661 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,960 You draw the line at a cat. 662 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,040 (LAUGHTER) 663 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,440 You draw the line at a cat, 664 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,160 so, it's OK to change genders but it's not OK to be a cat. 665 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,640 Like, you know, there's no difference. 666 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,320 If you're OK with gender just swapping, 667 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,600 then you may as well be an animal. 668 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,480 (TENSE MUSIC) 669 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,720 It's male and female. No. 670 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,720 Don't you think some people are born like that, though? 671 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:06,880 No, I don't. 672 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,680 You don't think people are born feeling a certain way? 673 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,560 You don't think that at all? 674 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,760 Because a lot of people do commit suicide 675 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,040 because of how they feel about having those feelings. 676 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,760 Like, they really are born that way, and they can't help how they feel. 677 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,040 And if you're saying to your child, "This is it," 678 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,800 imagine if they actually felt that way 679 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,680 and couldn't come to you to tell you that. 680 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,800 Yeah, I don't have that problem, and I won't have that problem. 681 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,240 But how do you know? 682 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,440 (TENSE MUSIC) 683 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,680 What you're saying is you're creating an environment 684 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,240 in your household where it's least likely to happen. 685 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,040 Correct. It won't happen. 686 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,200 If I was your daughter and I felt like 687 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:47,960 I wasn't feeling like a-a stereotypical girl, 688 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,280 would I be able to come to you as your daughter 689 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,360 to tell you that? 690 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,080 They can tell me whatever they want. 691 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,040 We're very open dialogue. 692 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,640 But like, you said, "It's not gonna happen. 693 00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,840 There's no way of that happening. 694 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,800 "It's not happening." So, I was just concerned about that. 695 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,960 As Christians, bringing the faith into it, 696 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,880 we really need to be an open space for people that are... 697 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,160 have these problems. 698 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,640 I don't feel like it's a problem at all. 699 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,880 You can be what you want. 700 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,160 As long as you don't hurt anybody, what difference does it make? 701 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,280 I don't care what you're doing 702 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,600 as long as you're a good, decent person. 703 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,320 If my boy wants to identify as a girl 704 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,720 and that is gonna help towards mental health, 705 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,000 do what you gotta do. 706 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,600 There's gotta be room for who you wanna be. 707 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,960 Who cares what you are, whether you're man, woman, 708 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,840 gay, straight, they, them? 709 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,200 I... To me, it doesn't matter. 710 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,400 As long as you're a nice person, you're kind. 711 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,680 I honestly don't care what you identify as. 712 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,120 Australia has been one of the most progressive nations 713 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,920 when it comes to embracing an affirmation approach 714 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:54,520 to gender identity, specifically because of mental health challenges. 715 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,640 The person who has confusion and challenge 716 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:57,920 about their gender identity, 717 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:02,560 they need absolutely unquestionably compassion, 718 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,080 love and acceptance. 719 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,000 Their mental health may deteriorate to a point 720 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,400 where their life is in danger. 721 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,800 There is no single right answer. 722 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,120 We don't know enough. 723 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,600 We just have to be compassionate, patient 724 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,800 and provide the support 725 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,840 that our children need if this happens. 726 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,480 Having had this conversation, 727 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,840 I don't feel my views have changed at all. 728 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,280 But I definitely am not open in this area. 729 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,920 I stand by the fact a man is a man and a woman is a woman. 730 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,560 That was a really rigorous debate. 731 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,400 Thank you guys for all sharing your opinions on that. 732 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,400 And most importantly, with honesty and respect. 733 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,320 OK. How about a little change of pace? 734 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:53,960 I've got something absolutely fabulous to show you. 735 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,960 We got to know your kids a bit more, 736 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,720 including what they know about mental health. 737 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,240 Would you like to hear what they have to say? 738 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,360 Oh. 739 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,520 Oh, gosh. 740 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,000 What's mental health? 741 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,760 What? What does that mean? 742 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,480 Mental health is how you feel, 743 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,800 like, in your heart and your head 744 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,440 and how you talk to yourself. 745 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,560 Your inside feelings. Feeling, your feelings. Yeah. 746 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,920 Like, our own mental health is really important to help us 747 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,160 become more resilient. 748 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,400 Yeah. 749 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,000 What do your parents do when you're upset? 750 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,080 When we're sad, 751 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,880 they're always finding something to cheer us up. 752 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,400 A really big hug. 753 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,160 Mum said it's good to cry. 754 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,680 What? No. Not a lot. 755 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,120 No. I don't. Not, I don't. 756 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,640 Secretly. I don't know. 757 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:44,920 Brothers. 758 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,200 Yeah. When they're annoying. 759 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,240 Like, he gets away with everything. 760 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,760 (LAUGHTER) 761 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,800 Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha 762 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,240 and just lay on the couch. 763 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,880 (LAUGHTER) 764 00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,240 When my mum goes into a shop and she wants to get, 765 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,000 uh, one thing, 766 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,360 and then she will end up getting the whole store. 767 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,680 (LAUGHTER) 768 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,800 I'm not telling. Secret. 769 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,800 The van shaking. 770 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,040 (LAUGHTER) 771 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,040 You never wanna know what that is at night. 772 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,160 (LAUGHTER) 773 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,720 You can't hear the washing machine. 774 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,400 It's the washing machine most of the time. 775 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,720 Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 776 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,040 They buy us every toy the world. 777 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,160 We're spoiled. 778 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,520 Yeah. We're spoiled. 779 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,680 But our parents love us. That's good. 780 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,000 Yeah. 781 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,280 And me and my sister fight sometimes. 782 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,480 Well, no. 783 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,520 (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) 784 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,760 Oh, Josh and Cassie, so many questions answered. 785 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,440 How many loads of washing do you do a week? 786 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,800 (LAUGHTER) 787 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,120 They will never know. (LAUGHTER) 788 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,880 Coming up. 789 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,920 Let's go, Mila. 790 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,920 Two eye opening challenges that test our kids' resilience. 791 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,520 Can you stop? 792 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,520 We do have some expectation for their performance. 793 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,680 You could have left a bigger gap. 794 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,000 Shush. 795 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,040 (TENSE MUSIC) 796 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,120 ('NOT ALONE' BY MIC DROP PLAYS) 797 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,880 Tonight, we're talking about everything to do with parenting 798 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,240 to set your kids up with the foundations 799 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,800 for good mental health. 800 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,120 So, let's have a look at another challenge. 801 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,280 We asked your kids to make a domino trail together. 802 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,080 It seems simple but for this to work, 803 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:39,720 they're gonna need cooperation, patience and persistence, 804 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,280 essential skills when it comes to building good mental health. 805 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,720 So, how do the kids handle a stressful situation 806 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,320 when put under pressure? 807 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,800 Do they keep their cool, 808 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,680 or did the domino effect get the better of them? 809 00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:00,040 Emotional regulation is a vital skill for children 810 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,440 to help them to manage their feelings and respond thoughtfully 811 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,920 rather than react impulsively. 812 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,560 In this challenge, we're looking at 813 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,920 what the parents have taught their kids about 814 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,320 coping with frustration 815 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,040 and how they work together as a team. 816 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,640 These are critical components of good mental health. 817 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,240 Got a message. 818 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,480 This is... So, it's on you. 819 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,320 Oh, domino challenge. Yeah. 820 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:36,400 Love that. (CLAMOURING) 821 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,520 That's easy. Yeah. 822 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:38,720 Have fun. 823 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,480 As life school parents, 824 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,920 we teach our kids about the ways to deal with stress and life. 825 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,560 We all have frustration. 826 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,200 We all have frustrating times. 827 00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:50,640 It's the way that we deal with it that counts the most. 828 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,040 See? Yeah. 829 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,480 You're shaking table. 830 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,720 (THROWS DOMINOES) 831 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,840 Can you stop? 832 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,880 How many times do I have to tell you not to do much movement? 833 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:08,320 But as life school parents, it's super important for us 834 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,240 that our boys work together. 835 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,240 It's so much easier to win as a team than as an individual. 836 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,520 (THROWS DOMINOS) 837 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,760 Told you for a handful, mate. 838 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,840 OK. 839 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,840 Can then no-one just not touch the table? 840 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,160 I was thinking just starting from one end of the table 841 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,480 and working our way down. 842 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,120 OK. You start going off like that. 843 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,520 Alright. 844 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:34,720 Do not move. 845 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,680 Like, don't move a muscle. Stop that toe, man. 846 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,280 Stop that toe. Alright. 847 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,760 We're ready. 848 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:40,960 I just wanna say 849 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,760 that you guys have done a very good job. 850 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,040 Go. 851 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,400 (CHEERING IN JOY) 852 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,480 (APPLAUSE) 853 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:49,760 That's a strike. 854 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:52,600 Where are the dominoes? 855 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,800 I think that's on table. Oh. 856 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,480 As authoritative parents, 857 00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,280 I think it's quite important for kids to stick to difficult tasks 858 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,480 even they don't enjoy. 859 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,960 I think that the perseverance 860 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,720 will go a long way in their future life. 861 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,320 Concentrate. 862 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,760 (THROWS DOMINOES) 863 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,120 Just have to be concentrate, OK? 864 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,600 Make sure you concentrate. I am. 865 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,040 It isn't as easy as you think it is. 866 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,960 Stacey, don't shake the table. Concentrate, honey. 867 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,640 Concentrate, concentrate. Nearly there. 868 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,280 Shush. 869 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:30,400 As an authoritative parent, coming from an oriental background, 870 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,640 we do have some expectation for their performance. 871 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,360 Concentrate, concentrate. I am. 872 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,600 That's OK. OK. 873 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,680 We encourage our children. 874 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:43,400 We want them to be successful, be doctors or probably lawyers. 875 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,880 You could have left a bigger gap. 876 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,800 Stop speaking. 877 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,800 I'm gonna start joining in, hopefully. 878 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,600 OK. OK. 879 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,280 Three, two... 880 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:03,560 Wow. 881 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,440 (APPLAUSE) Huge success. 882 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,520 I should have timed how long it took. 883 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,040 Panel Parents. 884 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,040 I thought it was good from the life school family. 885 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,400 Kids didn't give up on the challenge. 886 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,880 They still persisted and saw it through to the end. 887 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,720 Especially with five in a caravan. 888 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,680 No-one even said once, "This is garbage. I'm out." 889 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,640 Could have been so easy for them to just go, 890 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,200 "This is too hard. We're not doing it." 891 00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:29,800 And you guys were nowhere in sight. 892 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,440 Yeah. They ran their own shop. 893 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,160 I felt the authoritative of parents, 894 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,520 they were really present 895 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,400 and very hovering over, very critical. 896 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,200 The very last thing is, "I should have timed it." 897 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,800 There wasn't time to praise it. 898 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,480 It was done well. 899 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,520 Do you think they would have worked together 900 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,520 better had you not been in the room? 901 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:50,320 Uh... 902 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:51,400 Could be. (CHUCKLES) 903 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:52,480 ..they... Could be. 904 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:53,680 Yeah. Yeah. 905 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,800 I felt like they were, like, just craving to do it themselves. 906 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,320 Your experience looked more outcome based, 907 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,120 and Josh and Cassie's looked more experience based. 908 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,360 Yep. So, we definitely want to achieve some things. 909 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,560 We have expectations on them. Yeah. 910 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,800 Because she's made a comment about being successful adults, 911 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,160 being either doctors or lawyers. 912 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,360 Sure. Sure. 913 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:11,640 But what if they wanna be influencers? 914 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,440 (TENSE MUSIC) 915 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,080 We have highest expectations. 916 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,920 We said, "We think this is good for you." 917 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,400 From very young age, 918 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,200 we start to instill different values. 919 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,960 You need to have, like, stable income. 920 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,120 Yeah. 921 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,880 I'm more aiming for long term success. 922 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,480 Hopefully, one day, they have their house. 923 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,640 Life stability is most important. 924 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,640 What happens... (SLAMS HANDS TOGETHER) 925 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,800 if they decide, "Mum, I'm gonna be a hairdresser?" 926 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,000 Oh, there'd be regrets. No doubt. 927 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,120 I have an expectation on my children and they choose a different way. 928 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:45,600 Of course, I would be very upset. 929 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,480 There's more academic pressure on children than ever before. 930 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,400 The three most important words that your children can hear, 931 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,560 "No matter what. 932 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,840 "My love for you is bigger than any academic choice 933 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,280 "you make or any career choice. 934 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,480 "I love you no matter what." 935 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,320 It can have a huge impact on our children's well-being. 936 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,320 Next, with mental health in the spotlight. 937 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,080 You're doing that on purpose. 938 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,480 Tempers are tested... 939 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,880 (CRIES) ..when things fall apart. 940 00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,200 You gotta put it up like this. 941 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:19,280 No. 942 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:20,920 And a devastating truth... 943 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,120 To have it end that way, it's really hard. 944 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,760 ..silences the room. 945 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,800 (TENSE MUSIC) 946 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,000 We're establishing the essentials of good mental health, 947 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,960 including dealing with stressful situations. 948 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,400 We're in the middle of the domino challenge. 949 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,560 Should we look at our last two families? 950 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,880 A simple game like dominoes 951 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,800 takes persistence and emotional regulation. 952 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,840 These are critical components of good mental health. 953 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,720 Can your kids build a dominoes trail 954 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,440 using all the Dominoes? 955 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,680 Parents, hands off! 956 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,680 Oh, wow. Exciting. (CHUCKLES) 957 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,400 Our kids generally do well 958 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,320 when they're faced with a challenging task. 959 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,360 The hard way is definitely not quitting. 960 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,600 It's giving everything a go even if you find it hard. 961 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,040 Do you wanna start from here and go around? 962 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,240 Start from here. 963 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,520 Youssef. 964 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,680 You wanna help pick that up. 965 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:25,720 Ah! Ah! 966 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,680 With Youssef, it's always a surprise but, 967 00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:37,040 you know, our style of parenting is we wanna get him involved. 968 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,680 The easy way would be keep him out of the task. 969 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,400 Don't get him involved. Take him out straight away. 970 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,040 Give him some phone. But as hard way parents... 971 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,440 ..give him a go. Give him some phone time. Mm-hm. 972 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,080 Youssef, will you, you're gonna put it up like this? 973 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,120 No! 974 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,840 Oh, I'll-I'll start from here then you can go like that. 975 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:49,880 No, no, we should... 976 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,040 No! 977 00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:56,400 Come. 978 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,920 I have to miss. Come on. Come. 979 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,680 When Hassan and I see that, you know, 980 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,520 it is getting really frustrating and the kids have tried, 981 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,760 that's where us as parents have to step up. 982 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,040 You know just relax him. 983 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,000 Do this instead. OK? 984 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,480 Well done. Yeah. Good job. Is that fun? 985 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,840 We done it. Yeah, well done. 986 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,080 (APPLAUSE) Good job. 987 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,280 Good job, guys. 988 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,280 (APPLAUSE) 989 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,640 Fantastic. Well done. 990 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,160 There's nothing hard for us. We can do it. 991 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,040 I think that was great, what you did there. 992 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,800 The siblings did amazing at staying so calm. 993 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,800 Yeah. They didn't lose it at him, which is what we teach them to do. 994 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,360 Does Youssef have any learning difficulties? 995 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,280 Was... Um, he's only four. 996 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,880 He does have some, like, difficulties with, like, 997 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,120 sometimes understanding that all the attention, you know, 998 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,240 can't be around him. 999 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,680 So, we're slowly always sitting with him, 1000 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:48,840 trying to calm him down. 1001 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,960 I would have handled that a little bit different. 1002 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,960 You removed him and then went and played, like, a cool fun game... 1003 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000 Yeah. ..in another room. 1004 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,080 Yep. 1005 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,760 His behaviour was rewarded with fun time... 1006 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,120 Yep. ..somewhere else. 1007 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,960 With the way we parent our children, 1008 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,040 I would have just removed him from there and let him watch on. 1009 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,120 Yep. 1010 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,960 The other siblings deserve a chance to do it 1011 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,000 without getting stressed or anxious as well. 1012 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,120 Yep. Yeah. Yeah. 1013 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,360 So, we're just trying to be fair to the five of them, really. 1014 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,680 (CHUCKLES) 1015 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:21,120 OK. Let's take a look at our positivity parents. 1016 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,120 Well, you guys should win this. 1017 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,440 You play games all the time. 1018 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:26,480 Yeah. 1019 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,440 We're planning to go into this challenge 1020 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,840 as positivity parents by being positive. 1021 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,560 We're going to encourage them, 1022 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,400 give them pointers but we're not gonna touch anything. 1023 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,040 So, you start making the trail. 1024 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,240 ALL: Oh. 1025 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,080 (CHUCKLES) Oh, my god. 1026 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,240 I think one at a time. 1027 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,800 Hey, Aleks. 1028 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,240 You're doing that on purpose. 1029 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:51,520 Why did you do that, mum? 1030 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,280 She knocked it over like this... It's OK. 1031 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,480 Just start again. 1032 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:55,960 Because they're both leaders, 1033 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,880 I think it'll take a while for them to get the rhythm... 1034 00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:02,520 Mm-hm. ..if getting into that team spirit. 1035 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,640 If I knock this over, I'm gonna be... 1036 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,840 I'm gonna punch myself on the face. 1037 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,280 What? 1038 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,400 Three... (GASPS) (GASPS) 1039 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,880 No. (SOBS) You can start again. 1040 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,520 You can start again. You wanna do it again. 1041 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,960 (TENSE MUSIC) 1042 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,080 Listen, mummy. 1043 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,800 You know when I say teamwork makes the... 1044 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,200 Dream work. Yeah. 1045 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:26,240 Are we doing teamwork right now? 1046 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,120 Oh. (YELLS) 1047 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,160 I didn't do that on purpose. 1048 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,760 I wanna hear the positive talk. 1049 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,160 I don't wanna hear the negative talk. 1050 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,040 We don't talk like that. Come on. 1051 00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:40,800 You can do this, Mila. 1052 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:45,760 I'm literally drilling confidence into my children on a daily. 1053 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,520 Come on, we're almost there, Aleks. 1054 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:48,880 You're almost there. Good. 1055 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,280 One more. 1056 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,400 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1057 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,160 High-five. High-five. 1058 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,560 Teamwork makes the... 1059 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,320 BOTH: Dream work! 1060 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,400 (APPLAUSE) 1061 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,400 I feel like the two girls, like, they were kinda working apart. 1062 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,480 Yeah. 1063 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:08,840 But you encouraged teamwork a lot too. 1064 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:09,880 Yeah. 1065 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,120 That you were like, "Come on, girls 1066 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,840 let's walk together as a team," which is great. 1067 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,800 They have big personalities. I want them to be confident. 1068 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:15,840 I want them to be strong. 1069 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,240 We were mortified when she was like, 1070 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,800 "If we don't do this, I'm gonna punch myself in the face." 1071 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:22,080 We were like... Not really. 1072 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:23,960 It was almost like they wanted to punish themselves 1073 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,120 for not being able to do it. 1074 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,120 Yeah. Nah. They're just being characters. 1075 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,880 It's-it's not them being, you know, negative or anything. 1076 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,240 They're just like, "Oh, no." Like, you know? 1077 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,600 Well, it wasn't just words. 1078 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:34,640 Like, she ended up... 1079 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,480 She ended up doing it. ..punching herself in the head. 1080 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:37,560 And... Yeah. 1081 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,080 Did you speak to her about it? How would you handle it? 1082 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,760 No. Because she's five. 1083 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,120 It's an anomaly. 1084 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,800 She's just like a kid being silly. 1085 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:46,920 Like... 1086 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,880 It's important that we consider carefully, 1087 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,200 though, the words that we're saying 1088 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:54,360 because our words do create our world. 1089 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,760 They probably just did something dumb 1090 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,880 and they're giving themselves a little bit of quick uppercut, 1091 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,200 "I shouldn't have done that, how silly," and then move on. 1092 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:02,000 But if it's a recurring theme, 1093 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,880 if that's what they say all the time, 1094 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,080 that's when we start to say, 1095 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,200 I wonder if there's something that we can do to make our brain 1096 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:10,280 and our self-esteem, the way we look at ourselves, 1097 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,800 a little healthier. 1098 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:17,160 Aleks, she's named after my brother whose name was Alexander. 1099 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,520 He, um, had a mental illness. 1100 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:26,040 That has a lot to do with why we are positivity parenting 1101 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,520 and why we want them not to be sheltered 1102 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,880 but to look to the bright side of life. 1103 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,040 Yeah. 1104 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,200 So, I have a lot of, um, experience with mental health. 1105 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,120 My brother, he took his own life. 1106 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,960 I've been to the mental hospitals with him. 1107 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,400 I've been on the street with him. 1108 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:52,240 I've been, you know, like, (SOBS) I've been there with him. 1109 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,400 You know, and then at the end of it all, 1110 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:59,280 to have it end that way, it's really hard. 1111 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,440 My kids never get to meet him. 1112 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,080 At least I can keep him alive by talking about him, 1113 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,120 by teaching my children about kindness. 1114 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:12,800 Just be there for people and be there without judgement. 1115 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,360 We have, uh, 1116 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,240 an incredible mental illness challenge in this country. 1117 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,680 In Australia today, 1118 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:29,120 we'll lose nine people through suicide. 1119 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,720 Seven of them will be men... 1120 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,600 and it will happen again tomorrow. 1121 00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:37,600 One of the most important things we can do is teach our children 1122 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,040 to seek support. 1123 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:44,360 Those two words, 'support seeking', save lives. 1124 00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:47,720 And yet the overwhelming majority of people 1125 00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:51,440 who take their own lives don't seek support. 1126 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:52,720 They try to do it on their own. 1127 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,360 It's my hope that by having the conversations 1128 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,600 that we're having in this room today about these challenges, 1129 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,520 that we'll be a little more supportive... 1130 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:05,120 and that we'll find ways to lift one another up 1131 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:06,920 and help them to live lives 1132 00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,200 where they are genuinely confident that their life is worthwhile, 1133 00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:13,160 that their life is purposeful, that they're making a difference. 1134 00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:15,800 Really appreciate you sharing your story. 1135 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:16,960 Oh, thank you. 1136 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,120 Coming up, 1137 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,880 father of the year David Campbell 1138 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:28,320 gets honest about his own mental health struggle. 1139 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,960 I heard my son say, "Dad's not well." 1140 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,440 And I looked at Lisa and I said, "I'm done." 1141 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,880 Then. Oh, my god. 1142 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,760 An important lesson from the parenting handbook... 1143 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,280 You know I'm scared of heights. 1144 00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:42,360 It's really scary. 1145 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,040 There's no growth in your comfort zone. 1146 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,200 ..as the kids fly high. 1147 00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:48,120 (YELLS) 1148 00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,400 ('NOT MAD' BY JOHANNES GULDBERG PLAYS) 1149 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,520 Tonight, we're looking at how to lay the best foundations 1150 00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,800 for good mental health for our kids. 1151 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:07,520 Who is ready to put a celebrity under the parenting microscope? 1152 00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:09,600 Yes. Yeah. 1153 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,400 Joining us in the parenting lounge 1154 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,080 is someone who was crowned Father of the Year 1155 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,520 alongside his dad, Jimmy Barnes, 1156 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,520 for their work ending generational trauma 1157 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:24,400 and championing the importance of good mental health. 1158 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,080 You know him from the 'Today Extra' couch. 1159 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:29,800 Lizzy, good morning to you. Morning, DC. 1160 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:34,120 He comes from Aussie rock royalty and continued the legacy 1161 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,360 with his own extraordinary singing and stage career. 1162 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:43,240 Please welcome singer, performer, host and Father of the Year, 1163 00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:44,480 David Campbell. 1164 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,240 (APPLAUSE) Hi. 1165 00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:47,640 How are you doing? Thanks. 1166 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,800 Good to see you. 1167 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,920 Hi, everybody. How are you doing? Good day. 1168 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,920 David, you have the most incredible life story. 1169 00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,480 Do you mind sharing a little bit about your childhood 1170 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,840 and how it shaped your own mental health? 1171 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,920 So, I was born in Adelaide. 1172 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:10,920 Both my parents were, uh, 16 years old, and this is in 1973. 1173 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:15,160 So, it was a very different time, and my grandmother came in. 1174 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,160 And she adopted me and raised me as her son, 1175 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:20,040 so, I was brought up thinking that she was my mother. 1176 00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:23,520 I also thought that my mother was my sister. 1177 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:30,200 My father, he went on to be in Cold Chisel but he was busy. 1178 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,800 It wasn't till Jane Barnes married my dad, Jimmy, 1179 00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:40,600 and she's like, "He has to be a part of our family." 1180 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,800 And after that, my grandmother said to me, 1181 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,560 "You need to know that Jimmy is your dad." 1182 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,280 My dad was the biggest rock star in the country 1183 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,640 but then she said that, uh, 1184 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,240 but that your sister is your mother. 1185 00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:56,200 I was ten years old. 1186 00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:57,840 I just found out all of this information, 1187 00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,400 and I shut down. 1188 00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,080 I did not cope with it. 1189 00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:03,600 I did not know how to process it, 1190 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,640 and that was the beginning, I can tell, 1191 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,000 of trauma that lasted for a long, long time for me. 1192 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,320 (PENSIVE MUSIC) 1193 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:12,800 David, will you tell us 1194 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:14,600 a bit about the mental health challenges 1195 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,320 that you experienced subsequent 1196 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,440 to or even during this period? 1197 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,240 I was an extremely anxious child. 1198 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,000 Lot of the anxiety I felt before then... 1199 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,960 was probably to do with the ADHD not being diagnosed. 1200 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,440 Everything else I found out made it worse. 1201 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,560 Trauma about change, 1202 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,560 inherent neediness that Ally knows all too well. 1203 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,760 You're trying to navigate all of this family drama, 1204 00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,720 and you've got a mullet and acne. 1205 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:43,960 It's really difficult. 1206 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,320 And then I was scared to tell people 1207 00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,240 because I didn't want them to judge me differently. 1208 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,200 David, you are now really close with your dad, 1209 00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:56,960 Jimmy Barnes but that hasn't been an easy road. 1210 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,680 But I know along the way on both sides, 1211 00:50:59,720 --> 00:51:03,440 there's been abuse of alcohol and... 1212 00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:04,560 Yeah. 1213 00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:06,600 You know, there's the picture that I had on my wall 1214 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,280 and probably a lot of other Aussie kids and men did too of him 1215 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,640 at the last stand holding up a bottle of vodka and a towel. 1216 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,720 (PENSIVE MUSIC) 1217 00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,800 And that sort of masculinity that he was showing... 1218 00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,560 was kinda toxic, you know. 1219 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:26,840 And so, I thought that was how you had to act, 1220 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:28,880 particularly when you become a singer. 1221 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,920 You know, they throw free booze at you. 1222 00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,960 And the wilder you act, you get rewarded. 1223 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:39,040 And so, by the time I realised I was starting to have more and more 1224 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,080 of a problem with booze... 1225 00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,120 it had already latched on. 1226 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,760 (PENSIVE MUSIC) 1227 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:51,400 So, then when I had Leo, my oldest, one morning, 1228 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,240 we're having our first holiday as a family, 1229 00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:54,880 and I couldn't stop being sick. 1230 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,400 I didn't feel like I drank that much compared 1231 00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,920 to what I have drunk in the past. 1232 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,320 Almost didn't make the flight. 1233 00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:03,600 Oh. 1234 00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:09,400 And it was tough because I heard my son say, "Dad's not well." 1235 00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:15,160 And I looked at Lisa and I said, "I'm done. 1236 00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,600 I can't have him see me that way." He's three. 1237 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,600 I won't let that be a memory for him. 1238 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,880 Like all the memories that I can close my eyes 1239 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,920 and see in my head of my family, both sides, 1240 00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:29,920 going through the same motions, 1241 00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,200 the same cycles time and time again. 1242 00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:33,720 Something has to give here. 1243 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,640 And so, if that's me not drinking, then that's fine. 1244 00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:38,920 And that was it? That was it. 1245 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:40,120 Last time you had a drink? 1246 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:45,440 Your journey, challenges, um, how you, you know, 1247 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,360 come to sobriety, all that sort of stuff... 1248 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,240 Right. ..very much our journey. 1249 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,160 You guys are sober too? BOTH: Yeah. 1250 00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,280 Congratulations. Five years. 1251 00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:53,520 Five years? Mm-hm. 1252 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:54,800 I'm so pleased for you both. 1253 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:56,400 BOTH: Thank you. 1254 00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,720 You've battled alcohol abuse... Mm-hm. 1255 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,480 ..anxiety, um, ADHD. 1256 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:06,920 So, how do you parent specifically around mental health? 1257 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,480 We talk about our emotions 1258 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,120 if we're feeling frustrated at something. 1259 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,360 We're like, "Guys, it was just... 1260 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:13,600 We're not having a good day today. 1261 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,600 We're just tired." It's really hard. 1262 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,680 Us talking about our own mental health, I think, 1263 00:53:17,720 --> 00:53:19,760 allows them to talk about theirs. 1264 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:21,400 You know, tell us what you're feeling. 1265 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,640 If it gets overwhelming, let's not fight. 1266 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,120 Everybody, calm down. Tell me what's going on. 1267 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,400 I may not be able to solve this but let's try. 1268 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,040 And sometimes that means they gotta cry. 1269 00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:32,800 Boys have gotta cry. 1270 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:34,800 Otherwise, they just keep it all pent up. 1271 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,200 Oh, man. 1272 00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:39,200 I wish I had that ability when I was his age. 1273 00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:41,960 I also don't give them too much details. 1274 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,760 I knew too much at a young age about too many traumas. 1275 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,680 You still need to have a good boundary there. 1276 00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:48,760 Yep. 1277 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:49,960 I want them to have structure, 1278 00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:51,520 and I want them to know that they're safe. 1279 00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:53,120 Yep. 1280 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:57,040 So many of us didn't have a perfect childhood. 1281 00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,920 It is good to know it's never too late to break that cycle 1282 00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:04,200 and change course for the sake of our kids. 1283 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,800 Everybody, can we just give a big round of applause 1284 00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,600 and a big thank you to David Campbell... 1285 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,240 (APPLAUSE) ..Father of the Year. 1286 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,280 (UPLIFTING MUSIC) 1287 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:19,400 Coming up. 1288 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:20,640 You know I'm scared of heights. 1289 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,720 How do our kids respond when fear takes hold? 1290 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,120 I don't want... I don't want to. 1291 00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:27,040 And when they need you most... 1292 00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:28,400 Don't think about it. Don't look down. 1293 00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:29,680 It's fine. It's-it's safe. 1294 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:32,120 ..are you ready to lead? 1295 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,320 Plus, the panel vote. 1296 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:36,800 We could go to a tie here. 1297 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:38,400 Who knows how this is gonna play out? 1298 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:45,800 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 1299 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,760 We're talking mental health and how we lay good foundations 1300 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,360 while equipping our kids to understand it, 1301 00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,240 talk about it and manage it. 1302 00:54:56,760 --> 00:55:00,400 Parenting is all about lifting our kids up 1303 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:01,520 but what happens 1304 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,920 when they are literally hanging in the air? 1305 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:08,560 For our final challenge, one child from each family 1306 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:13,000 is taken on a thrilling, high flying adventure. 1307 00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,120 Meanwhile, their families are on the sidelines 1308 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,400 offering encouragement. 1309 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,280 This isn't just about your children's bravery. 1310 00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:26,160 It's about how parents coach their kids through fear and anxiety, 1311 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,200 looking at the tactics that you're going to enlist. 1312 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,840 In Australia, anxiety disorders 1313 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,640 are the most common mental health issue 1314 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,640 among children 14 and up. 1315 00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:43,240 Ironically, facing fears can help to reduce anxiety. 1316 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:47,280 Avoidance, on the other hand, reinforces anxiety. 1317 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:51,320 This challenge will reveal how the Focus Parents coach 1318 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,880 their children during a potentially scary situation. 1319 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,480 What tools are they gonna use to encourage their kids 1320 00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:58,920 to do the risky thing? 1321 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,960 (MESSAGE ALERT) 1322 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,280 We've got a text. 1323 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,240 Jasper. 1324 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:14,560 Why me? 1325 00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:15,960 You're just the chosen one. 1326 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,320 You can do it, buddy. 1327 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:18,360 Let's do it. You can do it. 1328 00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,320 How exciting. Let's go. 1329 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,360 In this challenge, the children will ascend 1330 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,840 to the top of a tall structure. 1331 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,240 And with hearts racing, 1332 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,120 it is up to the parents to help them build up the courage 1333 00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,080 to take the plunge. 1334 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,400 Welcome to the great Aussie bush camp, buddy. 1335 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,840 Your leap of faith challenge today 1336 00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,280 is to get pulled up 13m, 1337 00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,720 and you're gonna pull a ripcord 1338 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,840 and go for an exhilarating giant swing 1339 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,400 in this area here and over the lake. 1340 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:45,680 How does that sound? 1341 00:56:45,720 --> 00:56:47,040 Scary. Sounds scary? 1342 00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,280 (LAUGHS) 1343 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,600 As life school parents, it is extremely important 1344 00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,960 that our kids push themselves and take themselves out 1345 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,080 of their comfort zone. 1346 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,440 You know I'm scared of heights. 1347 00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,640 I'm gonna pass out. 1348 00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,840 Remember when we went on that big gorge walk 1349 00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,080 and we went right to the top? 1350 00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:07,960 And we're like, "Who's gonna jump from this height?" 1351 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,240 What did you say? 1352 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,680 "There's no growth in your comfort zone?" 1353 00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:13,120 Yeah. 1354 00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,120 This is not past your limits 1355 00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,200 because I've seen you jump off that rock climb. 1356 00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,680 Most of our fears that 1357 00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:21,760 we get is more our mind 1358 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,560 taking over rather than reality itself. 1359 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:26,920 How do you feel? 1360 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,920 Nervous. 1361 00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,040 Nervous is normal. 1362 00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,200 Oh, I'm gonna shi... That's alright. 1363 00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,880 (LAUGHTER) Alright. 1364 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,280 Jasper, when you're ready, buddy. 1365 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,320 (TENSE MUSIC) 1366 00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,440 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1367 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:51,680 (YELLS) 1368 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,440 Well done. Do it again. 1369 00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,160 You wanna go again or... No. 1370 00:57:58,200 --> 00:57:59,880 (LAUGHTER) 1371 00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,880 Oh. 1372 00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,560 Oh, my god. 1373 00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:10,560 As positivity parents, it isn't that big of a deal 1374 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,640 whether the kids do something or not. 1375 00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:17,800 What is important to us is them giving it a go. 1376 00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,480 You get to pull a little cord, release yourself, 1377 00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,720 and go for an epic swing. 1378 00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,320 I'm so excited. 1379 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,840 You guys have to do this after I do it. 1380 00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:29,720 No chance. 1381 00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:31,640 Let's go, Mila. 1382 00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,000 So, you're not even scared one single bit. 1383 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,320 Look at you. Oh, my god. Yay. 1384 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:36,640 (LAUGHTER) 1385 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:39,280 I think Mila was very sure of herself 1386 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,400 because of the way we do parent her. 1387 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,520 You know, doing our positive affirmations 1388 00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,040 is incredible for building their confidence. 1389 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,400 Three, two. 1390 00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:51,680 Let's go, Mil. One. 1391 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,720 (YELLS) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1392 00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:57,560 Oh, my god. Let's go, Mila! 1393 00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,280 If I went up there, you know how you have to pull? 1394 00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:01,720 I would have loved if you went up there. 1395 00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,360 I would have... I would have just not pulled it. 1396 00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,560 Oh. (LAUGHS) 1397 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,760 I'm so proud of you. (LAUGHTER) 1398 00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,560 Yes. High five. 1399 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,160 I'm scared. It's OK. 1400 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:18,640 As authoritative parents, 1401 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:21,560 we have very high expectations of our children. 1402 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,000 I don't think she want to disappoint us. 1403 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:39,360 We did offer a small amount of virtual money 1404 00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,600 for her to participate. 1405 00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,640 (TENSE MUSIC) 1406 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,160 Oh, no. Scary. 1407 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,080 It's so high up. 1408 00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,440 Remember what you can get after this? 1409 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,680 Robux. (CHUCKLES) 1410 00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,040 You are now on the zipline. 1411 01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:01,720 Go, Stacey. OK. So, deep breath for me. 1412 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:02,840 OK. 1413 01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:04,280 Whenever you're ready, Stacey. 1414 01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,440 I'm scared. 1415 01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,280 (WHIMPERS) 1416 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:20,920 Yay! 1417 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,720 Well done, Stacey. I'm proud of you. 1418 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:27,880 You're so brave. 1419 01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:29,680 Great. Well done, guys. 1420 01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,680 (APPLAUSE) 1421 01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,880 Panel parents, what did we think? 1422 01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:36,080 You did great. 1423 01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:37,560 All-all of you did great at the pep talk, 1424 01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,280 that building their courage up to go, 1425 01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:40,320 "You've got this." 1426 01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,160 The life school family did a great job. 1427 01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:44,920 I wanna steal that line, "No growth in your comfort zone." 1428 01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:46,000 Yeah. I love that. 1429 01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:47,680 That was really good. Yeah. That was really good. 1430 01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:48,920 That-that came from him. 1431 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:51,760 I really liked how you explained how they've done it before 1432 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,000 and how it was... they could overcome it 1433 01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:55,400 if they just put their mind to it. 1434 01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:56,760 I really like that. You were great. 1435 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:57,840 Yeah. Good reminder of... 1436 01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:59,800 It was also impressive what the positivity parents said. 1437 01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,120 They just got up straight and did it. 1438 01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,280 Our-our daughter, Mila, she's a very big daredevil. 1439 01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,080 We-we just had the pleasure of watching her. 1440 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,360 Yeah. She was really confident. Yeah. She was. 1441 01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:11,240 Elvie and Sean, I noticed a little bit of bribery. 1442 01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,640 I felt like Stacey was only pretending 1443 01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:17,240 because she has done more, um, dangerous ride than this. 1444 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,400 She probably just trying to get the reward she wants. 1445 01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,480 (LAUGHTER) 1446 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:26,040 I think bribery can be a really useful tool 1447 01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,600 just to fully get out their potential. 1448 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:31,880 Bribery is the easy way out, 1449 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,720 where it becomes more like a transaction. 1450 01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:34,800 Yeah. 1451 01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,560 We don't feel like that's the right thing to do. 1452 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,200 Yep. 1453 01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,760 As upfront parents, we're all for a bribe. 1454 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:43,040 When you have four children that need to be in the car 1455 01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,520 at 08:15 every morning with their shoes, their bags, 1456 01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:46,640 their violins, their... 1457 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:48,320 (MAKES HURRYING SOUNDS) 1458 01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:49,920 get in the car on time, 1459 01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,600 and you can have three lollies at the end. 1460 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,120 Boom. 1461 01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:56,600 When it comes to reward, yes, it motivates kids. 1462 01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:58,480 But what does it motivate them to do? 1463 01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:02,760 It motivates them not to do the task but to get the reward. 1464 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,120 There are better ways to encourage our children. 1465 01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,880 Provide a really clear rationale for why. 1466 01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:11,520 The high dive looks really big now, but if you try it, 1467 01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:14,400 you might feel really proud afterwards. 1468 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,960 When kids associate these tasks with personal satisfaction or joy, 1469 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,120 you'll find that kids buy in and they don't have to be bribed. 1470 01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:26,920 We have one more parenting style to have a look at. 1471 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,240 Shall we see how our hard way parents went 1472 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,160 with the Dare to Fly Challenge? 1473 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,240 Here we go. 1474 01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:34,280 Watch this guy that you can see what you're gonna be trying. 1475 01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,080 Wow. 1476 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,320 As hard way parents, 1477 01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,600 it's always important for the kids to step out 1478 01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,240 of their comfort zone and try something new. 1479 01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,160 And you need to push them and encourage them to do more. 1480 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,360 Yeah. Support them to see how much they're capable of 'cause 1481 01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,040 they'll surprise you sometimes. 1482 01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:48,600 Tell me. What are you thinking? Talk to me. 1483 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:51,960 That's fine. That's fine. Maybe try to do it once. 1484 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,680 Do it, Mohannad. You'll be the master at it. 1485 01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,720 That's right. 1486 01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,320 I knew he was putting on a brave face. 1487 01:02:58,360 --> 01:02:59,960 Keep looking up. I think he can. 1488 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,320 But I know deep down his side, he was scared. 1489 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:04,720 Let's go, my man. 1490 01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:06,320 You can do it, man. 1491 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:10,680 It's a small platform, not a lot of space up there. 1492 01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,880 Mohannad, just-just pretend you're still down the bottom. OK? 1493 01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,400 It'll be over... Take your time. 1494 01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:17,280 Don't think about it. 1495 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,040 It's fine. It's-it's safe. 1496 01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:20,480 Don't think about it. Don't look down. 1497 01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:23,080 One, two, three. 1498 01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,960 Lean out, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, 1499 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,000 you can do it, you can do it. 1500 01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:27,480 Good boy, man. Good boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1501 01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:31,360 It's really scary. (TENSE MUSIC) 1502 01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:32,640 Hold on tight. 1503 01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:34,760 Right now, on the count of three, you're gonna jump off. 1504 01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,000 Ready? Don't want to. 1505 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,440 One, two, three. I don't want. 1506 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,560 I don't want to. No. 1507 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,280 (TENSE MUSIC) 1508 01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:47,160 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 1509 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,400 Two, three. Lean out, you can do it, 1510 01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:50,440 you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it. 1511 01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:51,920 Good boy, man. Good boy. It's really scary. 1512 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,200 (TENSE MUSIC) 1513 01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:54,400 Right now, on the count of three. 1514 01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:55,920 You're gonna jump off. Ready? Don't want to. 1515 01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:57,520 One, two, three. I don't want. 1516 01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:58,800 I don't want to. Bend your knee. 1517 01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,760 You don't want to? No. 1518 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:01,880 That's OK. 1519 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,320 We're not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna do. 1520 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:05,400 Do you wanna... 1521 01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:08,200 Do you wanna watch someone else go first? Yeah? 1522 01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:09,680 Should we make your dad have a go first 1523 01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:11,360 so, you can watch him have a go? 1524 01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:12,720 Are we good? Maybe then go afterwards? 1525 01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:14,520 How's that sound? Yeah? 1526 01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:19,040 Put your second hand on the bar. 1527 01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,520 Alright. Now, just bend your knees. 1528 01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:22,800 It's very high. 1529 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,160 I am scared but I have to lead by example. 1530 01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:29,320 Little jump, little jump, go. Yes. 1531 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:33,400 AH! very nice and easy. 1532 01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:35,120 Wow! 1533 01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:36,720 See how easy it is? 1534 01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:37,960 You can do it, buddy. 1535 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:39,440 You can do it. That was so much fun. 1536 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,000 You can do it? I reckon you can too. 1537 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:44,440 He's gonna do it. 1538 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,320 Prep, little jump off. Go, go, go. 1539 01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:48,480 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 1540 01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,000 Well done. 1541 01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:52,520 Well done, Mohannad. So proud of you. 1542 01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:54,800 Oh, nice one. 1543 01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,520 Loved it. You are great role models. 1544 01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,520 There's that fine line between forcing him 1545 01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,760 and encouraging him and going. 1546 01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:04,800 Of course. That's right. 1547 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,160 Even after I had done it and he didn't wanna do it... 1548 01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:07,840 Yeah. We were fine with that. We're totally gonna understand that. 1549 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,120 As long as he saw his dad doing it. 1550 01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:10,600 I think that's what it's all about too. 1551 01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:12,640 I like that Hassan led by example. 1552 01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:14,240 Yeah. I love that he did that. Yeah. 1553 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,240 (TENSE MUSIC) 1554 01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:21,560 We've had some vital conversations in this room, 1555 01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:25,600 and we have learned so much from each of our Focus Parents. 1556 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,920 Navigating our kids' mental health can be challenging 1557 01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:31,320 but tonight's insights and tools will help 1558 01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,520 lighten the load for all of us. 1559 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,000 OK. We need to get to our panel discussion. 1560 01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:40,080 Focus Parents, I'll ask you now to please step up 1561 01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,240 and out of the room. 1562 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:42,280 Thank you. 1563 01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:44,320 (TENSE MUSIC) 1564 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,240 Panel Parents, back row. Come down to the front. 1565 01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,840 We're gonna discuss each of the parenting styles 1566 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,720 and how effectively it lays the foundation 1567 01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,680 for children's long-term emotional resilience 1568 01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:58,560 and mental well-being. 1569 01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,160 Remember, we're looking for parents 1570 01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:04,640 who develop autonomy and competence, 1571 01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:07,800 foster healthy emotional regulation, 1572 01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:10,080 create a sense of belonging, 1573 01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:14,120 and encourage resilience and confidence. 1574 01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,640 Let's start by talking about Josh and Cassie. 1575 01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,640 I think there's a lot to learn from the life school parents, 1576 01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,280 and the boys show it really well. 1577 01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:24,240 They really seem to be well rounded kids. 1578 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,600 I don't think they got through all the challenge points. 1579 01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:28,320 When the baby was crying, 1580 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:31,200 they eventually worked out we have to change it. 1581 01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:33,480 Like the older boy, you could tell he had been 1582 01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:34,800 around that situation. 1583 01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:35,960 Mmm. 1584 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,520 So, he kinda had a bit more forward thinking of what to do. 1585 01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:41,320 I was concerned with the comment one of the boys made about, 1586 01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,840 you know, he has to cry in secrecy. 1587 01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,280 Do you guys cry much? I do. 1588 01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:46,520 No, I don't. Not too much. 1589 01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:47,720 Secretly. 1590 01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,200 Even one of, uh, Josh's comments was, 1591 01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:51,320 "We've gotta be men. We've gotta be masculine." 1592 01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,720 That still didn't sit well with me. 1593 01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,120 Elvie and Sean. 1594 01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:57,520 Everything was disciplined. 1595 01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,560 It's like, if you do this, I'll give you this, 1596 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,880 or if you don't do this, this will happen. 1597 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,040 Concentrate. Concentrate. I am. 1598 01:07:04,080 --> 01:07:05,840 I think it's very cultural. 1599 01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:09,600 I take my hat off to them for implementing what they believe. 1600 01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:12,240 In a culture that doesn't necessarily support that... 1601 01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:13,840 Yeah. ..it must be hard. 1602 01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,240 They're obviously very articulate. 1603 01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:17,920 I think the answer to having your inner voice 1604 01:07:17,960 --> 01:07:19,240 was one of the best answers. 1605 01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:22,800 Mental health is how you feel and how you talk to yourself. 1606 01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:26,120 They obviously talk about it, so, there's a lot of positive things 1607 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:27,440 that are happening there. 1608 01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:31,600 OK. Let's talk about our hard way parents, Amanda and Hassan. 1609 01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:36,480 The thing I really liked about the trapeze challenge 1610 01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:37,800 was dad said, "You know what? 1611 01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:39,680 I'm not really great with heights but I'm gonna do this. 1612 01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:40,760 "I'm gonna give it a go." 1613 01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:42,560 And he gave it a crack, and then, you know, 1614 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:43,800 the-the son follows. 1615 01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:45,560 Well done, Mohannad, so proud of you. 1616 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:47,720 They showed in that domino challenge 1617 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:51,000 that they knew Youssef needed to be removed at that point in time 1618 01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:52,960 to get the challenge moving forward. 1619 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:54,640 I don't think you should reward kids 1620 01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:55,920 if they're having a tantrum. 1621 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,760 I don't agree with rewarding bad behaviour. 1622 01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,440 Our positivity parents. 1623 01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:04,520 I wrote down that they might have been a bit too involved 1624 01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:05,600 with some of the tasks. 1625 01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:07,240 Teamwork makes the... 1626 01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:08,400 Dream work. 1627 01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:10,040 Are we doing teamwork right now? 1628 01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,680 But the girls are still young. 1629 01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:14,120 When my kids were five, I probably was hands on too. 1630 01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:15,200 Yeah. 1631 01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:17,200 You can't criticise how confident the girls are. 1632 01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:18,280 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1633 01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:20,760 (SCREAMS IN JOY) 1634 01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,120 The eldest daughter just got in there, gave it a go. 1635 01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:24,280 It was quick, sharp. OK. 1636 01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,640 It was a... Three, two, one bang and... 1637 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,160 It was a challenge. Going out there, pull it. 1638 01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:28,720 Easy. 1639 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:29,920 Alright. 1640 01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:31,960 Well, I think we've had some really good discussion around 1641 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,720 which parenting style handled mental health the best. 1642 01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:37,160 Return to your seats. 1643 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:40,960 We are ready to bring the Focus Parents back in. 1644 01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:48,440 Focus Parents, the panel has talked it out, 1645 01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:51,640 and they are ready to share their thoughts. 1646 01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:56,720 Nathan and Joanne, our traditional parents. 1647 01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:58,040 We agonised over it 1648 01:08:58,080 --> 01:08:59,880 because there's so many great points to take. 1649 01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:02,720 We ended up going with the, uh, the life school parents, 1650 01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:04,120 Josh and Cassie. 1651 01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:07,720 Looking at your boys, um, there's so much evidence 1652 01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:09,680 of how resilient they are, you know, 1653 01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:12,040 when they interact with each other and-and everything else. 1654 01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:14,840 That's a really good marker for us in terms of, 1655 01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:16,280 uh, their mental health. 1656 01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:18,200 Thank you. Thank you. 1657 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:22,760 We believe the positivity parents was best aligned with mental health. 1658 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:26,800 We really like the confidence of your young girls, uh, 1659 01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:28,800 and that says a lot about, obviously, 1660 01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:30,200 the conversations you've had with them. 1661 01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,080 Even if they're sometimes saying the wrong thing. 1662 01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:33,240 (CHUCKLES) 1663 01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,160 They've got a voice and they're not afraid to use it, 1664 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:36,840 and that's important for mental health. 1665 01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:38,520 BOTH: Thank you. 1666 01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:40,120 I think you've all done amazing, 1667 01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:42,480 um, but we've also chosen the positivity parents. 1668 01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,200 I think, uh, when it comes to mental health, 1669 01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:45,320 you guys are nailing it. 1670 01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:46,440 You've done really well. 1671 01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:48,360 The main thing that I loved was the daily affirmations. 1672 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,080 I think that's so beautiful. 1673 01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:51,200 Thank you. Thank you very much. 1674 01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:52,480 Well done, positivity. 1675 01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:54,560 I mean, we-we could go to a tie here. 1676 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:56,480 Who knows how this is gonna play out? 1677 01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:58,840 It all comes down to you, Mark and Tammy. 1678 01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:02,360 You've got the deciding vote. 1679 01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:03,920 It was really difficult. 1680 01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:07,240 The family that we probably learned the most about mental health 1681 01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:09,720 was from the life school parents. 1682 01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:13,240 And we saw the connections that they have and the ability 1683 01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:16,000 that they have to be able to just get stuff done 1684 01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:19,480 and problem solve and work through things. 1685 01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:21,280 Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for the feedback. 1686 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:22,440 (APPLAUSE) 1687 01:10:22,480 --> 01:10:26,520 That is a tie for the first time ever in Parental Guidance's history. 1688 01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:28,800 The parents with the best parental guidance 1689 01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:31,400 when it comes to building good mental health are 1690 01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:33,560 positivity parents Nick and Sofia. 1691 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:35,680 (APPLAUSE) 1692 01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:38,800 And our life school parents, Josh and Cassie. 1693 01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,680 (APPLAUSE) 1694 01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:46,760 Appreciate the feedback from, you know, fellow parental peers. 1695 01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:49,680 I'm just so happy that we are all here 1696 01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:51,280 and we're all talking about mental health. 1697 01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:53,760 We're all learning but at the end of the day, 1698 01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,800 mental health is the most important thing. 1699 01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:58,640 You've tackled 1700 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:03,200 some of the hardest parenting conversations head on. 1701 01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:06,480 And if there's one thing we can all agree on, 1702 01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:09,640 it's that parenting is always evolving. 1703 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:14,000 By having these conversations and learning from each other, 1704 01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:17,600 we walk away better equipped, more confident, 1705 01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,720 and ready to guide our kids through 1706 01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,960 whatever the modern world throws at them. 1707 01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:25,480 For me, the experience was an eye opener 1708 01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:29,000 because you are your children's biggest role model. 1709 01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:31,000 You are the person that they're looking to 1710 01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,040 every single day for guidance. 1711 01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:35,400 (LAUGHTER) Group hug. 1712 01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:36,720 You know, nobody's perfect, 1713 01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:39,720 and I have definitely learned something from that. 1714 01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,120 I will go home being a better parent 1715 01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:44,840 thanks to what I've heard from you in this room. 1716 01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:47,880 (THEME MUSIC)