♪♪
[Click, buzzing]
♪ Baby, I like to learn ♪
♪ How do you wanna feel? ♪
♪ Tell me your fantasies ♪
♪ As you discover me ♪
♪ Can I make this easy for you? ♪
♪ I wanna make it easy for you ♪
♪ And it's not intentional ♪
♪ I'm not responsible ♪
♪ I never play any games ♪
♪ But if you're in my way ♪
Ew! Ew, not Derek. Ew! Oh, my God.
[Buzzing continues]Okay.
[Moaning]
[Knock on door]Evette: Shyra!
Oh, my God.Breakfast is ready.
Are you coming or are you coming-coming?
Yes, I'm co-- Yes, I'm coming. Not --
Yeah, Yeah. I'll -- I'll be right down.
Bacon or sausage?Bacon.
Crispy. Thanks.Okay, girl.
[Laughs]
Jamal, this bitch nasty.
Oh, my -- [Groans]
[Groans]
♪ Honestly, I do not know who the fuck to trust,
is you my friend or my foe? ♪
♪ I'm off the X and the dro, yeah, she gimme neck,
make my eyes roll ♪
♪ I remember back when I was younger, I was happy ♪
You ever get Shy to sign that NDA?
She's been here for weeks,
and you're just now asking me that?
This is not my first rodeo, babe.
Of course I did.
[Clears throat]Morning.
Uh, clean hands are happy hands, happy hands are clean hands.
Yeah, I washed them. Thanks.Evette: Okay. Okay.
Jamal: What'd I tell you, babe?
Once she smelled this good-ass food,
she was gonna wake up.
Nah, she been awake, okay?
From my door, I heard.
It sounded like you was hunting r-r-rabbit.
Yeah, can we not do it in front of company? Thanks.
Hold on. How am I company in my own house?
Right.Make it make sense.
Exactly. All I'm saying is, we fuckin' with you.
Laugh a little. You good.
Evette: Yeah. And didn't you just invite us to the sex shop?
Okay, you can not be a prude in the day
and a lady-of-the-night.
Evette: Okay? Okay.
Jamal, what's up? Lay it on me.
Alright, look, all I'm saying is,
you can't let these niggas tell you what you like, okay?
You know, I'm used to being in control, being a provider,
but then I realized I needed somebody
who wasn't afraid to tell me what to do.
Evette: Tell 'em again.
That's why me and E -- we made sense.
Look, and I never knew I liked variety until I met her.
Yeah, variety, girl.
He had me trying to have a threesome with him
and one of his old bitches from way back when.
Why are you bringing up shit from two years ago?
I learned my lesson, babe, okay?Evette: Mm-hmm.
I know that whatever I like to eat, to keep it separate.
Okay, yes, that breakfast plate.
That looks great. Let me have some.
Yeah. That's my cue.
I'm gonna get to my P.T. session, babe.
I'll see you later, alright?Promise?
Evette: Hurry up, okay?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, bacon's getting cold. Bacon's getting cold.
Mm-hmm, thanks.Okay.
Okay.
You got to put that on your wish list.
You would be okay with another girl fucking your man?
A roommate? No.
But you need to update your patriarchal lexicon, okay?
Niggas is fucking other bitches every day.
Sister wives, work wives, sisters, aunties, grandmas.
I mean, get with the program.
I don't want that kind of relationship.
Oh, well, you must be wanting to be coming all morning, like...
Uh, okay, you're funny. Goodbye.
Don't knock it till you try it.[Laughing] Goodbye.
What the fuck? Oh, my God.
♪ Okay, I been working like three jobs ♪
♪ Prolly why I never see y'all ♪
♪ Prolly why I never have time ♪
♪ For the fake friends, I won't be y'all ♪
♪ Oh, God, I been running now ♪
I ain't gonna lie -- I bombed there last week,
but my thinking is, I'm gonna go back,
I'm gonna try a different joke,
and hopefully it don't happen like that.
But if you got time, you should pull up, come kick it with me.
When are you going to stop playing?
Uh, playing? Playing about what? What you talking about?
You know what I mean.
Nigga, if we hadn't met on some work shit,
it would have beenon-site.
[Laughs] Yo, Mish, you good?
No! My girl just got back from Big Bear
with her sidepiece.
I'm frustrated.
Oh, girl. Wait. And you know that?
And you're cool with it?
Do it look like I'm cool with it?
I'm frustratedas fuck.
Yeah, that's a little obvious.
Goddamn straw looking like...
So, you're in an open relationship
or, like, a situationship?
Polyamorous ethical non-monogamy,
or whatever the fuck that shit mean.
So -- So, what's the acronym on that?
It's 2023. I really can't keep up.
Nigga, shit if I know. But I'm tired of wondering.
And I know you tired of wondering, too.
Ain't you? Tell me I'm wrong.
You're trying to find out.[Clicks tongue] Mm.
Nah, you ain't wrong.
About right as my curve right about now.
Yeah, well, don't pull it out in the studio
unless you're going to use it.
♪♪
Ooh, wait. Uh...
Mine actually curve to the left.
I thought maybe you should know that before we go any further.
Nigga, shut up.Yep.
Why would I even say something?
That's stupid. God damn!
Okay.
[Singing in Spanish]
[Sighs] In a matter of weeks,
you managed to get a promotion and a new house.
Me? I get fired and evicted. Make it make sense, Lord.
Baby, it's all gonna work out. Just give it time.
I know. And I'm genuinely happy for you, Papa.
But you don't have to worry about me anymore.
Because guess what.Hmm?
The housewarming/birthday is gonna be a ball.
Like...legendary.
[Both laugh]
And you brought me to Derek's gym to work out to make me what?
Make you do what?
I mean if I didn't want to see him on his FansOnly,
why would I want to see him in real life?
[Sighs]
You just don't like him, do you?
No. I just don't like my man getting off
to some of his straight friends.
I mean, what is it? The muscles?
You know I got those.Mm-hmm.
The tats? I got some of those, too.
You just got to know where to look.
I mean, none of that hurts.
Just like a little amateur moment.
But I don't attach any value to it or who I watch.
Mnh-mnh. That's not something I can share
with you or anybody else.
My personal preference.
Okay.So try to control your drooling today.
Okay? Come on.
[Both laugh]
♪ Let's do this, Ronnie ♪♪ Hey, I've been M.I.A. ♪
♪ When I pull up, she's gonna look my way, my way ♪
♪ She knows she needs this love on tap ♪
♪ We gonna...like we on this Jack ♪
♪ I know she want it bad, too bad ♪
♪ That...good, can't fall back ♪
♪ And when she want it in the morning...♪
Oh!, Wow, Shyra!
I knew you said you were good,
but that finished poster is dope as fuck.
Thanks.Wow!
Hey, you should come to the film festival.
Misha and Reign are going to be there, and they love you.
We can make it a thing.
Girl, I was going to crash that motherfucker anyway
and take one of these fancy-ass invites.
y'all got all around the house.
This one's yours.Thank you.
Mm-hmm.And I'm sorry.
I know 'Mal and I play way too much,
but please don't take us serious.
We have our own little language.
Yeah, my sex life is very unserious.
Well, you need to get serious, because you got needs.
I heard you.
Okay, yeah, no, I'm not just gonna
hop into a relationship to have sex.
I'm good on that.
What is this? 1922? Who said you got to do that?
Wait. Please don't tell me I'm living with a celibate.
No, Evette, I'm not celibate. I'm just -- I'm just single.
Single with, like, no fuck buddies.
a little sneaky link?
No. No. No?
Okay, now -- now I'm judging you, okay?
Like, what?
You're not even getting no extra credit at school?God, no.
No, I mean, there was this guy in my class,
but when he started showing interest,
it just got complicated.Oh, my God.
Well, you need to uncomplicate that pussy and hit him up today.
I wish I could.
No, he's not in my class this semester.
And, plus, I think he got repped, and now he's working.
Okay, well, you need to sit on something
with some type of post real soon.
Girl, I am not that type of girl.
What type of girl is that?
Look, I just want more than a physical connection.
I only had sex with Rodney,
and I thought we were going to get married,
and that all went to shit.
Okay, I don't want to make the same mistake twice.
Girl, you need to fuck him
one, two, three, four, five, 15 times if you need to, okay?
Look, if you need permission to be a ho,
I'm granting you permission, girl.
I just don't know how.
And I am not doing apps, girl,
'cause that shit does not work out.
Okay. You don't got to do that.
But let me get you the game, okay?
All I need you to do is trust me.
[Sighs] Come on.
You get the house, car, clothes,
jewelry, all that, girl. You see me.
You know, I did move in with you sight unseen.
Boom, you got it.
Alright, fuck it.Why not?
Girl, set me up. Yeah!
It's ho season.
[Both laugh]
Okay, abs.That's all cardio.
Babe, did you talk to Brandon, Derek,
and all the other tenants about the plaza being sold?
The owner of Acai said the developers are paying well,
but it is not enough money for the rest of the tenants
to relocate their businesses.
Mm-hmm. And did you talk to your adviser about using
this case for the remainder of your internship hours?
Sure did.
And that percentage of that retainer
I'm going to use for my little situation, you know.
Mm-hmm. That belly button goes with your waist.
Well, at least my stomach flat.
One heavy weight at a time, boo.
Mm-hmm.
Hey!Ooh!
Boys!Oh, my God. This nigga.
Please don't let him talk to me.
He's going to talk to you.He's going to talk to me.
Sup? Hey, don't worry.
I'm gonna get you swole, just like your papi.
I'm good.Don't call me Papi.
Hey, Mr. Counselor, I'm just giving you a compliment.
You look good. Wow! Oh, wow!I know.
And don't touch me.Yeah, don't touch him.
Hey, man.
Hey, my man.Amazing workout tips.
I'mma add those in there.
And that little private locker room? Top notch.
Oh, anything for my high-profile athletes. Come on, bro.
You know you V.I.P. in here.Jamal Jerome.
You know, my fans usually call me JJ, though.
You want a picture or something? You a fan?
Ever since your ESPN articles came out.
Which one?
The Body one that came out a couple years ago.
I see that body is still bodying. Mm!
Reign Moore, soon to be esquire.
If you ever need any legal advice, let me know.
This a wild boy right here, man.
I'm sorry, man.
Hey, I'mma tap in with you later.
Alright.Nice meeting you, man.
Mm-hmm. Yep. Oh, we gonna tap in.
Hey!
Can you not?What?
Talking to my high-profile clients.
He was right there, man. I was just weird.
Boy, shut up. "Z" is not my nigga. He's my man.
Yo, I was just telling Brandon about my dirty 30 coming up.
And our housewarming party.Ooh! Hold on.
Housewarming? I didn't know y'all was that serious.
We aren't.Well, we are.
See, y'all two niggas need to work on your messaging, man.
Okay, we are that serious.
But Z's the one who bought a house.
I'm just moving in, and we'll see what happens.
[Chuckles]
Sound like my old lady back in "The Chi," man.
Two months later, she got all the clothes
in every closet in the crib.
I miss that shit.
You mind if I ask what happened?
Oh, yeah, man. You know, people just grow apart.
Want different things.
So, that's when you moved here?
Fresh start. Made some investments.
Parlayed that down into Dahlia's downstairs.
I just didn't think I'd be running that bitch every day.
Plight of the black businessman.Okay?
Reign, why are you really here?
Well, as business owners in the plaza,
you must know that Acai Forever is about to be nevermore.
There are some people that want to buy the plaza
and redevelop it.
That's bullshit, man. It's a money play.
It clearly states on our lease when we got it,
if a new owner comes, we get 90 days.
Given within 90 days of the sale and can contest its findings.
Consider me your 90 days.
Hold on. Now, what does this mean and what can we do?
It means that if you hire Reign as your contract researcher
and his new law firm to represent you,
he may be able to keep y'all in y'all places.
Unh-unh. Why don't we use Z's firm?
Because the whites don't do small-business litigation
unless it goes to trial.
And trust me, you don't want that to happen.
He's right.
I'mma need a midday drink.
Oh, so you're saying the bar is about to open early?
Well, I'm headed into the office.
So behave.
I mean, enjoy.
Okay, so, um, a little birdie told me
y'all having a secret audition down in Dahlia's.
Supposed to be some Shirtless Saturdays
going on this afternoon. Is that happening right now?
Shyra.Shyra.
Let's go. I want to go down here.
I want to put the oil on them. I'm dashing water on them.
I'm doing it all. Let me touch the boys.
Let me look at the boys. I'm -- I'm here for it all.
It's going down, y'all.
We're at Dahlia's for the Shirtless Saturday auditions.
Previous bartending experience is wanted,
but abs preferred, honey.
And you guys see how fine these men are?
Just wait till you see what they're serving.
It's gonna leave you...
Yo. Excuse me. You, uh -- You're Shyra, right?
Who's asking?Yo, sorry, my man.
Need a minute. What the hell? Pimp me out, then replace me?
Don't forget, it was my half-naked body
that started this shit in the first place.
Who the fuck are these men?Relax! Relax!
I draw inspiration from anything.
Relax, Derek.
It's going to be fine.Fucking Shyra. God damn it.
Get in line,Derek.
You auditioning?
Uh, yeah.
Alright, then get in line.
Reign: Mm-hmm!I'm so sorry I'm late.
Okay?Okay, hold on.
What's up?! What's happening?
Hey, how are you?
Girl, thank you so much for helping me with these auditions.
Thank you for having me.Mm-hmm.
Misha got stuck at the schoolhouse, so...
Ooh, boo.Sucks for her.
But, Miss Shyra, who are you?
First, a sex-shop party. Now this?
Girl, I am not mad at you, though.
Your bench is stacked.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Okay, Mr. Impatient. You want to go first?
Go first then. Take it off.
Uh, my bad. Hey, look, my name is Frank.
You know, most people call me by my last name, Watson.
Okay, Mr. Frank Watson, get up on the stage.
Yeah, on the stage. Go. Get up. Thank you. Jesus.
Oh, my God.
[Cellphone chimes]
What's the tea?Girl, you don't want to know.
Uh, it's not what you think.
I turned my ho card in for now.
So, who you getting money from?
My father's wife.
Since Lloyd cut my cards off and now my crib,
she want to swoop in.
What? So you don't need money?
Uh, "need" is a strong word.
But the amount she sent can't by my love
unless love's the name of a high-rise condo, okay?
But you know what?
I thought you didn't need that anymore living with Z.
You know, I thought that was kind of permanent.
Now, how we go from housewarming to house husbands?
We not that gay.
[Laughs] Shit.
But you know what? No, I love that for y'all.
I'm gonna come with a wine-and-cheese board.
Oh, my God.
Them broke bitches love a char-coochie board.
Mnh-mnh! I love a charcuterie board.
Well..."Well..." And?
Well, let's have this audition, guys. Come on.
I'm excited.
[Sighs]Oh, Lord.
Uh, hey, Sherlock Watson, uh, whatever your name is,
why is your shirt still on?
Uh...I didn't know this was a topless bartending --
Did you just say "topless"?
Once a week, we take our shirts off.
We serve drinks. That's the job.
Okay, please, if you are not comfortable half naked,
please save us all the time.
Reign: Please.
It's amateur hour.
Reign: There we go.Okay, relax, Magic Mike.
We just need you to make a stiff drink.
Here you go.Oh. Thank you.
This look watered down.Nah, it's good.
One more for you.
We about to see.What y'all think?
It's actually cool.
Damn, it's pretty good.Mm-hmm.
Reign: Okay, new booty. you keep this up...
You can start next week. Derek, Your days are numbered.
I'm always catching strays, man.Reign: Boy, you are the stray.
♪♪
[Sighs]
Work in bed? You know you got an office.
Yeah, that has plaza and developer documents all over it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I mean, I just don't want to leave a footprint. I just --
Mnh-mnh. No more excuses. This is your place, too, now.
Okay? I want you to get more comfortable
in more places than just the office.
Okay, well, I hope you don't think
I'm putting my clothes on those wire hangers.
[Laughs]
I put that on the registry, too, for the housewarming.
Uh, we're not registered anywhere.
You not, but I am.
Uh... I mean...
weare. Oh.
Yeah.
[Both laugh]
I love you, Reign.
Don't make it weird.Okay.
Don't make -- You're still making it weird.
Okay. Okay.Like, you don't have to respond.
I just wanted you to hear it.
Mm-hmm. You know, I didn't grow up
expressing my feelings in the house.
I find that hard to believe.Okay.
I did express my feelings, just probably at the wrong time.
And some things never change.
And some things do.
Look around.Yeah.
You know, I lived out of my suitcase for two years
when I first moved out here.
Two years? Mm-hmm.
Not you have a houseless L.A. story.
Hell yeah, man.Damn.
Look, the room-and-board situation for college students
will bleed you dry.
And, you know, being emancipated from your homophobic family
leaves the care packages low and the student loans high.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry you had to experience that.
I'm not.
It helped me recognize that when I want something, I want it,
and when I'm done with it, I don't look back, only forward.
Mm-hmm. Parents are supposed to send their kids
out into the world to make their own way,
and sometimes, that includes a few mistakes.
Your dad will come around.
[Sighs]
You know, I think we need to invite August,
Will, Jada, Jaden.
August, Will, and Jada.
You're just trying to create a whole
year's worth of work for myself.
I mean, we got to have some drama around.
We got to spice it up around here. Right.
Whether your dad comes around or not, you still got me.
And you still got my new house. Ournew house.
There you go.
Because what's yours is mine, and what's mine is --
Oh, we on that level now?Yeah.
And what's mine will be mine, too.
Okay. Just that one suitcase?
You know what?That you still ain't unpacked?
Shut the...[Laughs]
♪♪
♪ I've been concentrating all my time ♪
Oh, yeah.
Mm! So you're having a hot office affair with Brandon?
You want to be me so bad, Shyra.
That's cute or whatever.
Please. I'm just not trying to catch my boss
in another indecent position.[Gasps] Unh-unh!
Mr. "Un-Break My Heart" smashing bitches at work?
I don't know if they were smashing,
but they were definitely in his office.
Ooh! Oh, shoot. I got to take this.
Where are you going?I'mma be right back.
♪ Don't leave me here searching ♪
Yo, Shyra.Okay.
What's up?Hey.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like anything's going on tonight, so,
yeah, you're free to go.
Look, I really need the money.
But a few extra hours to help me prep my final remarks
for my film festival, it's not bad either.
Yeah, the new hires didn't bear many results.
I only found like one orientation packet.
Well, you know, it ended up being go-go dancers from WeHo
that couldn't make drinks,
and they wanted to be naked all the time.
Oh, nah, nah.
You told them one Derek was enough, right?
Yeah. No, actually, I was thinking we should
do some other theme nights.
Already way ahead of you.
Look, not weekly, but quarterly HBCU rivalry games.
Yeah, they never air out here.Hell naw.
It's going to be hard to pack out the place
because there ain't no Black Colleges out here.
Hey, where'd you go again?
Spelman. But Misha went to North Carolina A&T.
Okay. Mm-hmm.
Well, look, homecoming is right around the corner,
so it's not too late to get it promoted for next month.
Mm-hmm. Great minds think alike.
Yes, they do.
♪ I get so nervous ♪
Man, I miss them Clark Atlanta days,
them homecomings?
You remember them tailgates?Yeah.
Cookouts?
I can't believe I'm missing another homecoming season.
I just want to do drunk-ho shit with my ho friends.
Okay.
What was the name of your homecoming again?
GHOE.Ooh!
That's right!
Greatest Homecoming on Earth.
Man, that shit was hard.
I remember, one time, I did a comedy set there.
Big-ass sold-out crowd.
Ooh! How many shows have you sold out in L.A.?
Babe. Nicole, this is Korey.
Hey, what's up? Nice to meet you.
I guess it's nice meeting you, too, Korey.
Oh, yeah.I've heard so little about you.
He is a comedian and he works with Maureen DeVoe.
Yeah. I also run the day-to-day here at the studio,
get some free studio time for voice-overs.
Maureen DeVoe hooked me up with big opportunities, so...
Oh, that's great.Yeah.
Because for a second, I thought you were trying to
fuck my girlfriend.Uh...
Oh.Yeah.
But it's cool.
I'll watch. Oh.
Okay.
You missed a preview already,
but if you're down,
maybe we can all watch the main feature together.
I like movies.Mm.
Well, we can see what the main feature hittin' on.
You down with that?
Hell yeah, I'm down with that! You down? I like movies.
Come on. Let's watch movies together.
♪ I need all the wins ♪
♪ Yeah, ain't no L's, I gotta get it, no callin' quits ♪
♪ Yeah, gotta keep on movin' ♪
So, this is what I was talking about the other day.
I've already got agreements from
Acai Forever and the notary office.
You and Derek make four plaintiffs.
Now, I think I can get them to stop
or offer way more than the buyout offer.
Oh, you hired.I figured you'd have some sense,
so I've already got an agreement notarized.
And circle right there is my retainer.
You fired, yo.
I anticipated you'd say that.
Not so rudely, but I am prepared
to take 10% of my retainer
and a weekly modest tab at the bar.
How about that?
Monthly.
Mm.
Shake on it?
I was prepared for quarterly, but, hey...
[Laughs]
Well, hey, is it too late to do the holiday blackouts?
Uh, not a chance.
And Miss Shyra told me that you was having
a Halloween party around here?
I already got my costume ordered. See your ass there.
[Laughs]
Thanks for giving me a ride, girl,
because those Uber surcharges were going to take me out.
Girl, it is no problem.
I needed a reason to get away from Nicole's ass.
Trouble in paradise?
No, actually, my really new thing
just met my slightly old thing,
and it all went down at the studio.
Girl, a bitch's cup runneth over.
Girl, I don't even know what the hell that means,
but I know that I would make a terrible lesbian.
No, you probably better at eating pussy than you are
at sucking dick, girl.
Girl, look, stick to what you have.
[Chuckles] Yeah, no. Come on.
Don't knock it till you try it, girl.
Girl, I ain't knockin' nothing.It's that life.
Okay?Whoo! Look at this house.
Oh, wow!Damn! Okay, cobblestones.
Z got old money.He sure do. This is --
Welcome to my humble abode.
Hi! Hi!
Alright, alright. Come on in.
This is nice, honey.Oh, my gosh.
Look at this. This is nice!
I've never been to Calabasas before, honey.
This how you live when you're rich.
Okay! Fancy!
Hey, TaskRabbit, why did we come?
I mean, you know...
Not that I'm complaining, but I thought you
invited us over early to help you out.
Thank you.Well, the thing is,
I didn't think y'all asses was going to be on time.
But I was just bullshitting because I just wanted to kick it
before everybody else arrive.
Oh, so you missed us.
No, I did.
[Laughter]
No, honestly, guys, I can't even think of a time
where we did something other than the bar.
Bitch, we literally just moved your ass in, remember?
That don't count.I know what Shyra means.
Since Mahogany's been gone,
we've all been caught up in our own bullshit,
and I can be the first to admit that I've been spiraling
since the white-firm incident.Shyra: Yeah, Reign.
I, uh -- I heard...Uh, eavesdropped.
...that you were helping out with the plaza case.
You know I could lose my job, right?
I mean, is this even going to count towards you graduating?
I don't know, Shy.
I'm currently moving every angle I can, even the sketchy ones.
Oh, no. Be careful, boo.
I mean, with all of our busy schedules,
we need to remain as intentional as shit.
Now, y'all know y'all can pull up on me anytime,
and no invite needed.
Girl, I ain't finna pull up on you, okay?
It could be Tom, Dick, or Harry's night, okay?
I'm not doing that. No shade, no judgment.
Yeah, much shade and judgment, okay?
Because I'm judging your spooky coochie, so we even, bitch.
Ooh!Guys, also, no judgment.
Did you know Derek's about to be a whole father?
Like, a whole father. Somebody really tried to --
Girl, this catfish is good.
Y'all need to come get some of this food Z made before
everybody get here.
Bring it in. Let's hug.
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Oh, what is that vibrating? Is that your phone?
Now, y'all know I got double-A batteries and dick on --
Come on, Mish.Yes, it's my phone, girl.
Remind me to get a Google number next time.
Everybody been blowing me up about directions.
Read the invite.Right.
Don't nobody got time for this.Oh, no. Hell no.
Unh-unh.[Sighs]
Okay, so, what we drinking? Some Moscato?
Moscato? You got to cool that, kid.
How about you take a shot of tequila?
Yes. Give me a shot. Yes.
♪ ...step, it's a lay-up ♪
♪ My life like a movie, and it's a trailer ♪
♪ Cheffin' in my kitchen got me trying to get my cake up ♪
♪ I thank God for all that's coming to me now, straight up ♪
♪ Ball in my court, how I step, it's a lay-up ♪
♪ Just keep movin', it's a trailer ♪
♪ Cheffin' in my kitchen got me trying to get my cake up ♪
Oh, hey, guys.Hey, y'all.
Hey, what's up?
Happy birthday, Z.Ooh! Thank you, Nicole.
I got you a gift. Okay.
I noticed that you didn't buy anything at the opening,
but it's cool, because I thought of something
that you would like, and maybe you could use it tonight.
Ooh.
Uh, you know what?
I think I'm gonna put it in the room
so it doesn't get mixed in with the other gifts.
Thank you.
Please tell me you did not give them
the motorized fuck machine.Hell no!
Oh.That cost $500.
I don't like them that much.
So, you mean to tell me you don't li--
Babe, babe, babe, come on, now.
Like, a lot of these friendships are friendships of convenience.
Half these people you won't even be besties with in five years.
Nicole!
You know what?
Hey, girl.What's up, girl?
Damn, Evette! When'd you get here?
About 15 minutes ago.
But my nose led me right into the kitchen, okay?
Who put they foot in this étouffée?
That would be Z.
I think you met him at the erotic boutique.
Weird cutie with the booty?
Mm-hmm!Okay.
Girl, where's Jamal?
Oh, he's at home.
His team lost the first round of playoffs,
so he wanted to be by himself.
Oh, is he pouting because he didn't get to play in the game?
You're preaching to the motherfucking choir, okay?
He's all sad, but he's on the East Coast,
and, you know, I'm only for the ups, not the downs.
You know what? That's the next lesson
you need to teach me, girl.Oh, okay.
What else have you been teaching our impressionable Shyra?
Because whatever it is, I hope it's making an impression.
Hey! Hey!
What's up? You look cute.
Hey, Evette, I'd shake your hand,
but I don't want to lose a finger.
I'm glad you enjoy the Cajun cuisine.
Now, you did that, okay?
I usually go out on the weekends, okay,
to a nice, fine dinner, but I'm gonna need
a to-go plate, or do you do catering services or something?
I just enjoy cooking.
It's a great stress reliever and hobby.
I just love doing it.
Well, my boyfriend has a big tailgate party
coming up for the alma mater after Thanksgiving.
Word? What's his name?Yo, I am starving.
See, I know you been here throwing down.
What is it? Etouffée.
Tell me what you think.I can't even pronounce that.
Is there pork in that?All this hot air in here.
Z, you want to go outside with me for a bit?
Yep.
What's wrong with her?Be nice to her.
Right. I can't have you picking on my girl like you
on the playground.
Her bestie just moved, and here you are bullying her.
What? You like her or something?
The big-head girl that's always talking about me?
Look, yo, I'm good on the toxic relationships.
Nigga, somehow, I feel like you'rethe toxic one.
so be nice.
You know she's going through a lot right now.
I completely forgot about the shit she's going through.
Yo, but I'm glad
she finally told you guys about the abortion.
Yeah, she told me y'all would probably not understand,
but I knew you would.
And, plus, y'all be fucking up way more than she does.
Am I right, Evette?
Do we?
♪ Bounce ♪
♪♪
Hey, please talk to your friend.
He called me like three times looking for directions.
I am not valet.Oh, I get it.
You're trying to distract me while you go get the cake, huh?
Boy... [Laughs]
Can you distract him while I light the candles?
[Cellphone chimes]
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Mm-hmm.
Hey, Z!
Hey.Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Thank you. Thank you guys for coming.
Thank you.
So, what's Reign up to? He, uh, sneaking away?
Uh...huh? Who's Reign?
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Z ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[All cheering]
♪♪
Coming up on next week's "A La Carte" menu...
[Laughs] This boy crazy.
Now, why are you leaving me on read, baby?
♪♪
Okay, daddy, tell me how you like it.
That's good.
Just finish me off.
[Moans]
[Scoffs]
Alvin, this is my friend Shyra.
Pleasure's all mine.
Ooh, yeah -- Ooh!
♪ And I lived to tell the tale ♪
Mom, why are you here a day early?
And what does she mean by "our trifling-ass daddy?"
Who the fuck are you?
♪♪
♪ Look, tell that man no trouble ♪
♪ I don't want beef, man, I just want vibes ♪
♪ Big man like me, no need for the telephone hype ♪
♪ I got too much getting online ♪
♪ One rule, then dead 'em on sight ♪
♪ Wrong move, I bet they gonna ride ♪
♪ No need for the telephone hype, nah ♪
♪ No need for the snoozin' ♪
♪ Big whip outside, I'm cruisin' ♪
♪ Big stick inside, no losin' ♪
♪ Better watch out for the slick and Judases ♪
♪ Don't ask them who this is ♪
♪ I bet they know what I'm movin' in ♪
♪ I bet I show what we're into again ♪
♪ How you hatin', then lose again? ♪
♪ How you hatin' my vibes? ♪
♪ Why you wastin' my time? ♪
♪ Gettin' hype on my lines ♪
♪ Tell the man I don't want feedback ♪
♪ I just wanna relax, brand-new whip ♪
♪ Two-tone, I need that brand-new hit ♪
♪ You know, like "Lean Back," brand-new bits ♪
♪ I live and we pack, man, you never gonna lie ♪
♪ Get 'em on sight, now let 'em all light that way ♪
♪ They know I'm all righteous ♪
♪ Look at my life, I'm livin' alright ♪
♪ I'm nice, you know I'm alright ♪
♪ Looking like twice, no need for the hype ♪
♪ Or fight or telephone vipers ♪
♪ No need for the telephone vipers ♪
♪ No need for the liars ♪
♪ I don't watch the moves of criers ♪
♪ I got much to do, I'm biased ♪
♪ Big bosses move in silence, watch it ♪
♪ No need for the liars ♪
♪ I don't watch the moves of criers ♪
♪ I got much to do, I'm biased ♪
♪ Big bosses move in silence ♪
♪ Yeah, me, I'm movin' quiet ♪
♪ Ask me, I need an island ♪
♪ New watches, perfect timing ♪
♪ No need for the surface shinin' ♪
♪ Ask me, I need me a few, I need me an island ♪
♪ I'm keepin' it true, the man ♪
♪ I'm wild, I'm keepin' it cool ♪
♪ No need for the telephone hype from you ♪
♪ You, yeah ♪ ♪ Tell that man no trouble ♪
♪ I don't want beef, man, I just want vibes ♪
♪ I just want vibes ♪
♪ Big man like me, no need for the telephone hype ♪
♪ I got too much getting online ♪
♪ One rule, then dead 'em on sight ♪
♪ Wrong move, I bet they gonna ride ♪
♪ No need for the telephone hype, yeah ♪