1 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:19,176 (Announcement in English) 2 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,694 Two minus ten. 3 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,329 Nine, eight, seven... 4 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:44,034 six, five, four... 5 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,420 three, two, one... 6 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,757 Here is the German Television with the Tagesschau. 7 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,919 (festive brass music) 8 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,467 In the USA today began 9 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,978 one of the most ambitious projects of space exploration. 10 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:07,265 The "Voyager" space probe launched space probe "Voyager 11 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,815 is to explore the boundaries of our planetary system. 12 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:15,528 (Speaker) On board, various cameras, sensors and the Golden Record, 13 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:19,490 with Einstein's theories, among others, Music by Chuck Berry 14 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,371 and greetings in 60 languages. 15 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,577 Sdrawstwujte. 16 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,241 - Bonjour tout le monde. - Shalom. 17 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,001 I am a Berliner. 18 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,002 - I have a dream... - Sidebacher... 19 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,913 Hello from the children of planet earth. 20 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:35,961 (Speaker) Also recordings about the history of mankind, 21 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,846 in case the probe encounters aliens. 22 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,718 The space probe "Voyager Il" discovered during its flyby of Uranus 23 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,602 apparently another ring around the planet. 24 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:49,391 (narrator) "Voyager Il" travels to the to the far side of Uranus... 25 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,313 Images of the planet Neptune 26 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,854 the "Voyager Il" radioed to the ground station in California... 27 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,024 In 1977 the probe was launched. 28 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,276 In three years it will leave the solar system... 29 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,321 Evidence of extraterrestrial life do not exist. 30 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,452 (impressive orchestral music) 31 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,169 (monotone beep) 32 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,141 (somber music) 33 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,620 (smacking hiss) 34 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,777 Oh, here we go. Okay. 35 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,661 Steve, are you running? 36 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,242 Okay. 37 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,492 Good day. Greetings. 38 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,419 My name is Doctor Gerhard Friedle, 39 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:37,298 and I work for the American space agency NASA 40 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,629 on the planet earth. 41 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:44,422 If you see me, you have not only at least one eye, 42 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:48,222 but are a highly developed alien species, 43 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,811 that our "Voyager Il" found. 44 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,182 I, Dr. Gerhard Friedle, 45 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,942 has the important historical task, 46 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,984 you the history of our home planet... Earth 47 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,822 and our species, humanity, briefly. 48 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,863 So that when we, when we see each other in a few eons, 49 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,621 mutually the... 50 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,369 Tentacles, hooves, fins... 51 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:18,165 Depending on what has grown. Without wanting to offend you. 52 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:21,960 Something like that can quickly look look incredibly ugly. 53 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,884 I'm just kidding. 54 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,474 (he laughs maliciously) 55 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,435 But let's best start at the beginning. 56 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:36,145 Because my species was not always so highly intelligent and beautiful 57 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,106 like the specimen, that is speaking to you right now. 58 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,771 No. 59 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,783 Life on Earth began about 3.8 billion years ago 60 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,195 at first rather primitive as a single celled organism 61 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,991 at the hot volcanic deep sea vents 62 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,160 of our oceans. 63 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,998 (bubbling) 64 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,502 (bass-heavy techno music) 65 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,173 (quiet murmur of voices) 66 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:18,517 Hey, what is such a sweete single-celled organism doing here all alone? 67 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,894 - Whoa, no, please don't. - What's up? 68 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,983 Want to duplicate? Do you know how? 69 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,148 Thank you, but I can handle that on my own. 70 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,899 Laber, I know. 71 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:31,321 But we could become more complex if we combine our genetic material. 72 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,447 That would help with you. 73 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,950 Huh? Ah, funny. 74 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,497 Okay... 75 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,714 Come on, duplicating only alone, is lame and makes you stupid. 76 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,796 The Assis there have been doing this for millions of years. 77 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,172 Hello! 78 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,633 - Duplicate! - Duplicate. 79 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,140 Oh... Okay. 80 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,642 I mean, we can give it a try. 81 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,016 Yes, nice! Then... 82 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,310 Let's go, baby! Yeah! 83 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,644 Oha. 84 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,401 - Is this coming off or what? - Whoa! Ew! 85 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,862 Really fresh. Works for us, doesn't it? 86 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,606 What's going on here, please? 87 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,904 Woah, çüs! We mutate. 88 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,119 - Mu... What? - Well, what I've been babbling about. 89 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,705 Nature lifts us to the next stage of evolution. 90 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,120 - It's cool. - Isn't it cool? 91 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:22,084 What if we evolved over millions of years to become to highly complex beings, 92 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,590 who put themselves at the top of the food chain, 93 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,500 suppress other life forms 94 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,886 and exploit the resources of the planet exploit, 95 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,047 until the earth is even more desolate? 96 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,715 Huh? 97 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,725 Oh, fuck. 98 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,433 Honestly, that would be highly unlikely, 99 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,144 that this is exactly what happens, right? 100 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,943 (Dr. Friedle) Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened. 101 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,813 Even ice ages, Meteorite impacts 102 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:50,449 and slightly increased particulate matter did not prevent 103 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:54,203 that the mammals are spreading on the earth. 104 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,123 First and foremost, the people, 105 00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:00,751 that spread like weeds spread across the planet. 106 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,710 In the end there remained two competing species remained. 107 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,091 Homo Neanderthalensis, 108 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,967 the Neanderthal man... 109 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,595 - Caution. - ...and Homo Sapiens. 110 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,675 But only one species should prevail. 111 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,978 (quietly) Careful. 112 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,314 What a silly flat forehead. 113 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:26,777 Yes, and the jaw does not protrude so. I already have to laugh. 114 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,405 Greetings. 115 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,442 We are a people from the north, 116 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:36,070 in search of warmer areas, to settle down. 117 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,908 Why is it allowed to speak? 118 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,750 Women and men have the same value. 119 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,710 Why not? 120 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,591 Yes, exactly. Why not? 121 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,013 May I suggest something? 122 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,435 Why do our groups not live together peacefully? 123 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:03,022 That females and males are the same is a good idea after all. 124 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,943 - (murmur) - Oh my goodness. 125 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,779 Um, 'sorry for the incident. 126 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,236 Living together is out of the question. 127 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,446 Why? 128 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:18,196 It would be an advantage for you if we mix. 129 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:23,038 - I don't understand. - Yes, I think you do. That's exactly why. 130 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:27,208 I see you are still using extremely primitive tools. 131 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,548 You are not settled. 132 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,426 And you do not bury your excrement either. 133 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,799 - What's wrong with it? - That transmits diseases. 134 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,550 Says who? 135 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:43,020 97 percent of all shamans agree on this. 136 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:47,145 Yes, but we know a shaman, who says that all this is nonsense. 137 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,355 That's right, your shamans are screwing with us. 138 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,649 - Exactly. - But not with us! 139 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,649 - They are lying shamans! - Lying Shamans! 140 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,242 Lying Shamans! Lying Shamans! 141 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,986 Lying Shamans! 142 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,076 Listen up, please! 143 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,207 In the name of reason, 144 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,541 let us together form a society, 145 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,707 which are based on prudence, reason, logic 146 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,171 and the laws of nature oriented. 147 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,506 So that we can continue to develop 148 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:19,549 and become an intelligent, but peaceful species. 149 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:23,060 A society in which men and women are equal, 150 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,225 in which no one is discriminated against, 151 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:29,226 and which lives in harmony with nature and our planet. 152 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,149 And? 153 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,068 A people must die. 154 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,191 We decide like this, 155 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,859 how we always decide. 156 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,451 We play round stone, pointed stone, flat stone. 157 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,658 - Um... - Wait a minute. 158 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,123 You may begin, you are the male. 159 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,916 You have the right of first. 160 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,211 - There you go. - Like this. 161 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,296 Mm. 162 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,129 Hm, hm, hm. 163 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,673 - (murmur) - So close. 164 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,096 - This is madness. - We have won. 165 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,021 We offer once again to live together peacefully. 166 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:10,232 Nah, lost is lost. So, people, to the clubs. 167 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,859 The best way is for everyone his neighbor dead. 168 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,354 Have a nice day. 169 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,565 (quake) 170 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,656 (startled murmur) 171 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,324 Uiuiui. 172 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,951 Or so it goes. 173 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,711 Guys, we're moving on. 174 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,834 (powerful drum music) 175 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:42,761 But that with the excrement bury, that sounded reasonable. 176 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,641 (Dr. Friedle) Thus survived unfortunately the dumber one, 177 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,272 more aggressive variant of our ancestors 178 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,526 and began its triumphant to the top of the food chain. 179 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:58,940 But even the stupid Homo Sapiens eventually settled down. 180 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,155 He learned how to cook food 181 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:05,321 and invented tools, such as the hammer, 182 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,828 the plow 183 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,038 and of course the wheel. 184 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,703 - The... - (laughter) 185 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:16,500 Oh, that was... That was just a Halloween costume. 186 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,672 That didn't go over well... Steve, this has a repercussion. 187 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,216 - (Grumbling) - Where was I? Um... Ah, yes. 188 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,474 People invented other useful things. 189 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:29,262 For example, weapons, Wars and borders. 190 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:39,609 One of the most impressive borders, built on the Asian continent, 191 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,570 is the at least with us very well known and popular 192 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,656 Great Wall of China. 193 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,206 To build this monumental structure to be erected, 194 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:54,166 the most skilled craftsmen from all over the world were called together. 195 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,754 Both of them. 196 00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,592 (Lick my dam. Det war mal ein Ritt, du. 197 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,425 A lot of territory here, eh, Horst? 198 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:08,051 - Do you tip the guys? - No, that's rude. 199 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,935 Yes, I think so too. 200 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,767 Ah, there's the welcome squad. 201 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,517 Meal. 202 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:20,233 Konopke company from Berlin. This is my colleague Jürgen. 203 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,858 - Nihaa-chen! - One thing right away: Journey costs extra. 204 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:27,077 First of all, welcome to the Middle Kingdom. 205 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,323 - Speaking of the center... Isn't it noon? - That's what you say. 206 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,745 - What's up, master? - Well... 207 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,037 The emperor has a vision. 208 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,256 That comes from the old incense sticks. 209 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,417 Or from the glutamate in the food, eh? 210 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,466 - But get well soon. - Yes. 211 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,382 Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di wishes a wall 212 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,675 at the border of his empire. 213 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,768 A wall? 214 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,105 Here, in the middle of China? 215 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,440 So I'm out. 216 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:02,063 Because the land belongs to Mr. Ching and the one over there belongs to Mr. Chong? 217 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:05,066 They're buffed with the muffe. Horst, take off. 218 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,735 What do you want here with a wall? 219 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,120 In Berlin I can imagine a wall, 220 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:14,660 but why would anyone intend to to build a wall here? 221 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,878 You don't knock a foundation in the permafrost shit. 222 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,788 Was det in the fortune cookie today? 223 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,673 You're digging yourself a monkey. 224 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,130 No, we can cut that short right away, the whole thing. 225 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,546 That's a crazy idea. Not interested. 226 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,514 This refusal will greatly grieve the emperor. 227 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,430 - Yes. We can live with that. - Unfortunately no. 228 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,475 Now that you know know the imperial secret, 229 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,355 I have to bury you alive. 230 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,898 Yeah, well, um... 231 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,314 Bad look such a wall does not have to look bad here. 232 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,653 There's something to it, Horst. I agree. 233 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,693 Just in front of the green here... 234 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,362 and so stones. 235 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:55,374 Everything beautifully shot down, the Eumel. It's a dream. 236 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:59,415 The emperor wishes that one the wall from the moon. 237 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,040 - Yes, we would have done that anyway. - It's standard procedure for us. 238 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,174 Thank you, Master Konopke. 239 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:08,387 Can you finish the construction project finished by the year of the dragon? 240 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,755 Whew... 241 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,673 - What do we have now? - Um... 242 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,390 Rat, Buffalo, Tiger, Rabbit, snake... Pig, I think. 243 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:18,897 Ah, det is a tight panty, but I say, 244 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,563 The Konopke company leaves no one hanging. 245 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,396 Good. Send a messenger when you are ready. 246 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,064 Do wa. 247 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,029 Can he bring twice the 87 with peanut sauce? 248 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,994 Ick make only flax. 249 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,326 (soft smacking) 250 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,129 Fuck the wall, Horst. That was a hard piece of work. 251 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,713 But hello. 252 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,553 Only the caftan farters in the caftan farts in Babylon, 253 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,931 which we should hang should hang up. 254 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,384 Clientele. 255 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,928 Zahlemann and Sons. 256 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,307 Long time no see. 257 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,066 Still recognized. 258 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,067 I bring you greetings from the Emperor. 259 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:12,068 - Back. - Customer is king or emperor, wa? 260 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,533 But where... Where is the wall? 261 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:22,036 The cart is in front of it. Help him. He wants to see the wall. 262 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,704 Shall. 263 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,582 On three. Three! 264 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,801 Once Chinese Wall... 265 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,212 So. 266 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,971 There it is, the gem. 267 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,758 I would have been surprised if it had escaped. 268 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,600 - But... - Ah! 269 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,518 Master Lee is speechless at the architectural masterpiece. 270 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,605 - Not without reason, Horst. - Architectural masterpiece? 271 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:49,651 The emperor wants a wall, that can be seen from the moon. 272 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,404 Oh... I see. 273 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,945 The wall from the moon. 274 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,914 We missed the point by a hair's breadth we talked right past each other. 275 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:04,003 We built them so that you can see the moon from the wall. 276 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,626 And it works like a charm. 277 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,506 There. Kieck. 278 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,168 - Moon. Works perfectly. - Yes. 279 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,713 It should be 15 meters high and 2,000 kilometers long! 280 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,715 Ah. 281 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,306 Another misunderstanding. 282 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,728 Possibly because of the language difficulties. 283 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,766 - You don't speak Berlinish. - We like to have that. 284 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:28,026 Det comes out when customer wishes are not clearly formulated. 285 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,770 Greetings to your Emperor, 286 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,440 but this was the last order of the company Konopke for you. 287 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,910 However. 288 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,002 All right, suggestion for kindness. 289 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,464 We can on a goodwill basis gladly put a row on it. 290 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,297 - Or two! - Yes, well, don't exaggerate, Jürgen. 291 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,553 Det must also still pay off. 292 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,469 (Dr. Friedle) Was one in China in the next centuries 293 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:02,182 with the building of walls and the dismantling of of human rights, 294 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,314 so in Europe a completely different trend was born, 295 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,099 the philosophy. 296 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,144 Quite rightly the Greek philosophers 297 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,404 than the rock stars of their time. 298 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,064 (Moderator) Dear Greeks. 299 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,030 Welcome to to "Monsters of Philo"! 300 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,369 Here, in the old Bifteki in Athens. 301 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,203 Welcome with me the three freshest philosophers of the country: 302 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,790 Here are Aristotle, Plato 303 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,422 and Socrates! 304 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,583 (Screeching and cheering) 305 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,798 (rhythmic drumming) 306 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,887 Are you up for some rhetoric? 307 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,975 And do you want to learn the lexical semantics of the most influential sophists? 308 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,641 - Undress! - Do you have the desire for... 309 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,184 (all) philosophy? 310 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,776 You are the horniest! 311 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,111 Okay, friends. 312 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:57,483 Today we have for you new systems theory approaches, 313 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,151 which go off really blatant. 314 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,785 Are you with us? 315 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,030 (Cheers) 316 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,698 Let's go! 317 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,785 (drum solo fades away) 318 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,579 - (murmur) - Shh. 319 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:16,468 The whole is more than the sum of its parts. 320 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,136 - Yes, yes! - Exactly! 321 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:30,395 To know oneself, is the first of all sciences. 322 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,351 (Mega! 323 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,530 He who knows nothing and does not know that he knows nothing, is a fool. 324 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,828 - Avoid him. - (Man) I will! 325 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:47,116 Plato, I celebrate you so extremely! 326 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,501 (Socrates) Who wants to move the world, 327 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,841 should first move itself. 328 00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:02,256 If you want to build high towers, must spend a long time at the foundation. 329 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,849 Socrates! Socrates! 330 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:10,018 Socrates. 331 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,774 Friends, that's it for today. Come home well. 332 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:17,567 We will be in Pompeii next week for the the "Dance on the Volcano" festival. 333 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,528 Do not let yourselves not be enslaved by the Romans. 334 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,573 Yes! Fuck the Romans! 335 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,539 Encore! 336 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,409 - Another encore? - Absolutely not. 337 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,953 Encore! Encore! 338 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:36,207 Encore! Encore! 339 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,169 - Uh... - Huh? 340 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,178 That's not it already, is it? 341 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,715 They have played less than ten minutes. 342 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:48,226 It was the same in Sparta. It's always eight minutes. 343 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:52,481 - A quarter drachma for that? - No matter. It was still mega cool. 344 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,642 That's right, mega cool! 345 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,232 You, you and... you. 346 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,488 Fancy some fun backstage? 347 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,529 - (they screech) - Comes with. 348 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,868 What about me? 349 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,280 Oh, sorry, sweetie. 350 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,493 Yes! 351 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:15,162 (Dr. Friedle) Even among the Greeks not everything was democratic, 352 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:19,674 even if they have the crazy idea of giving all power to the people. 353 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:22,837 In order not to let everyone dream dream, 354 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:27,007 particularly clever representatives of Homo Sapiens of Homo Sapiens invented something, 355 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:31,428 which secured them absolute power and subjugated all others. 356 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:36,441 And with which they sold every nonsense as truth. 357 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,400 (droll happy music) 358 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,689 Advertisement. 359 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,401 Come on, you lazy dogs! 360 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,445 (woman) We all know the problem. 361 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,206 Hello, I am Mentuhotep Il. 362 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,084 and I am Pharaoh in the 9th dynasty. 363 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,291 Here, in ancient Egypt. 364 00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:02,836 Until now, my ancestors were buried buried in primitive cave tombs. 365 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,346 Surely you have been also in this situation. 366 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,634 I am Rufus Ironfur from the ancient tribe of the Celts 367 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,677 here in beautiful Gaul. 368 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:17,520 Crop failures due to the weather have so far been difficult to explain. 369 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,980 This should also be also sound familiar. 370 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,692 And I am Patros Papadopoulos. 371 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,572 I don't like to work that much, 372 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:28,907 nevertheless I have most of the time I have a hell of an appetite. 373 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,871 And I like to live large. 374 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,790 Is there anything, that solves all our problems? 375 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,124 Yes, there is. 376 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,086 Because now there is religion. 377 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,553 Get 10,000 slaves for your Gods from 10,000 slaves 378 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,714 a fat pyramid in the desert. 379 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,257 Tempo! Tempo! 380 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,266 Your key to immortality. 381 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,098 I am already in my mid-20s. 382 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,389 Make the gods responsible for disasters 383 00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,309 and appease them comfortably with a virgin. 384 00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,775 The pretty ones I keep of course for myself. 385 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,613 (Cheers) 386 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:07,866 But religion can do much more. 387 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:12,120 By threat of divine punishment everyone gives you the shirt off his back, 388 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,114 without any consideration. 389 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,032 Really great. 390 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,247 For me, absolutely the solution. 391 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,664 Where common sense ends, religion begins. religion begins. 392 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,505 (Choir) Religion For a better life 393 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,261 (Woman) Religion, for a better life. 394 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,476 (Dr. Friedle) The invention of the religion hit like a bomb. 395 00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:41,938 A young carpenter's son from faraway Palestine 396 00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:45,229 saw the new tool a welcome alternative 397 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:50,701 to hard physical work, getting up early and all that nonsense. 398 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:55,159 All right, I'll try it another way. 399 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,082 Jesus of Nazareth, through... 400 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:05,423 yes, i'll say, unusual circumstances 401 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:09,052 I find myself in the ungrateful situation, 402 00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:12,764 to accuse you of high treason of high treason against the Roman people. 403 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:14,720 I therefore give you again 404 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:18,012 the obvious and simple opportunity, 405 00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:22,148 To recant your claim to be the King of the Jews, 406 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:27,024 and to place you above the Roman sovereignty in Palestine. 407 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:31,783 Can I now, in order to avoid greater and especially unnecessary trouble to avoid, 408 00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:35,279 count on your insight and your common sense? 409 00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:40,200 (epic female chorus) 410 00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:43,040 What does he ask? 411 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:46,797 Whether he can count on my can count on my common sense? 412 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,876 Well, I can only answer only one answer. 413 00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,136 Kiss my ass! 414 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:57,759 You stupid bastard, you! 415 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,511 Can you believe it? 416 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:01,304 I am almost 30 years old. 417 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:03,394 I'm not going to be sent around, 418 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,809 so that an illiterate nonsense. 419 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:08,524 Don't touch me. I do everything alone. 420 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,189 You behave so clumsy and so stupid. 421 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,318 You should know that I can be treated easily. 422 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,991 - I have tried. - If you are careful. 423 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:19,656 Behold, I wash my hands.... 424 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,324 (startled murmur) 425 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,288 He disturbed me. 426 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,465 Ouch! 427 00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:31,334 You are hurting me. 428 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:34,087 (dramatic trombone music) 429 00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:39,718 Delinquents... 430 00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:43,806 The condemnation of the high council accuses you of high treason. 431 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:46,771 You shall therefore with soft silk scarves 432 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,186 be tied to the cross for so long, 433 00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:52,447 until your wrists twirl very hard, 434 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:55,074 so that you may repent of your sins. 435 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:58,282 However, in no case longer than 20 minutes, 436 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,947 otherwise there is a risk of of circulatory problems 437 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,208 and of sunstroke exists. 438 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:05,410 What do you say? 439 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,580 Did you hear that? What an asshole. Tie him up! 440 00:25:08,757 --> 00:25:11,090 With shitty silk scarves. 441 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,593 Nail me. 442 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,800 Come on, Judas, get the hammer and the rusty nails. 443 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:20,809 - Huh? Are you out of your mind, sir? - This is what you wanted them for? 444 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,973 That hurts beyond belief. 445 00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:25,813 He's such a joker too, isn't he? 446 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:28,100 Mind your own business. 447 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:33,526 How can someone become a martyr for the whole of Christendom, 448 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:37,283 when he is tied with fucking silk scarves tied tightly? 449 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,779 Water? Thirsty? Cloth too tight? Someone sunscreen? 450 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,702 No, thanks. All is well with me. 451 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,701 Judas, we do not have all day. Hey, you there. 452 00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:47,918 - John. - I don't give a shit. 453 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:50,045 You make me a crown from the thorns, 454 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,172 but take large and pointed. 455 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:56,461 The blood shall run down my face run down my face in streams. 456 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,214 - I can't look there. - Then get lost, idiot! 457 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,391 You have no function here anyway. 458 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,178 People should shit in their pants, 459 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,439 when they see the symbol of my selfless sacrifice. 460 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:10,100 Do you understand? 461 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,768 Yes... 462 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,937 (dramatic organ music) 463 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:16,982 Ow. 464 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:22,366 So, twirls quite a bit, huh? 465 00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:23,871 Absolutely. 466 00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:27,284 You can almost see pressure marks on the joints. 467 00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:29,669 I have definitely definitely learned. 468 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,921 - Thanks again. - Oh, you... 469 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:36,005 What? Pressure points? 470 00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:40,297 Get the fuck out of here with your Fucking pressure points, you pussy. 471 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:42,549 Judas and Thing, listen to me. 472 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:45,184 You leave me hanging, until I pass out, 473 00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:48,188 and drags me into the shithole.., that I showed you. 474 00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:53,352 And tell everyone that I died I died on the cross for their sins. 475 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:58,444 Roll a stone in front of the cave, but not too big, you cretins. 476 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,534 I am only the Son of God and not Hercules. 477 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:04,950 - Should we really do this? - Of course! 478 00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:07,574 Of course you should, you idiots! 479 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:10,751 - He's out of his mind. - But really. 480 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:12,537 I heard that. 481 00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:14,668 Judas. 482 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,543 You traitor! 483 00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:19,719 You... 484 00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,424 Ass... 485 00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:24,549 hole! 486 00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:31,644 (Dr. Friedle) Written down and transmitted to mankind 487 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:34,275 a slightly... embellished version. 488 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:37,983 But on the whole his cunning plan worked. 489 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:42,743 With Jesus Christ the religion of Christianity was born, 490 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:46,329 who could not deal with logic, reason so nonsense could not do anything, 491 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,490 We talked about this earlier, 492 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:52,707 and in the next centuries neatly the blender 493 00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:55,171 into the toilet bowl of history, 494 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:58,333 to put it to put it somewhat casually. 495 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:02,428 Only a few peoples from the far north 496 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,681 did not want to be be missionized 497 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:10,016 and offered a colorful cocktail of violence, destruction and barbarism, 498 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,306 when they invaded countries. 499 00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:15,896 Most feared was the famous Viking leader 500 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,104 Erik the Red. 501 00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,273 (somber music) 502 00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:24,200 Men. 503 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:28,996 Before we raid the village, I wanted to talk to you. 504 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:33,293 Recently there has been an increase in complaints. 505 00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,787 Well, how do I say this? 506 00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:40,133 Unfortunately, it is becoming more and more complain that we are too... 507 00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:44,845 are violent. 508 00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,595 (laughter) 509 00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,681 Don't get me wrong, Violence is part of it. 510 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:53,931 If it's about stuffing a guy's the balls in the mouth, 511 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:57,600 I do not immediately the moral finger. 512 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:00,987 On the other hand, we no longer live no longer in the 9th century. 513 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,822 - Nah, in the 10th. - Exactly. 514 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,482 Times are changing. 515 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:08,862 Violence is great, no question, but it must not become an end in itself. 516 00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:10,954 - How do we do that? - No idea. 517 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:13,741 Are we still allowed to gouge out the eyes of the Scots? 518 00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:16,662 Yes, but only, if it absolutely has to be. 519 00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:20,335 But already with a red-hot iron bar. 520 00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:23,468 So, this is now a good example from Uwe. 521 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,179 Maybe that can be done only with a knife. 522 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,423 Yeah, sure. 523 00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:32,560 Anything goes, sure, but also loses its appeal. 524 00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:35,100 - It fizzes so nicely. - Yes, I know. 525 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:38,438 Are we allowed to burn women in front of in front of their husbands? 526 00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:40,481 Borderline. Rather difficult. 527 00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:41,861 Why? 528 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,447 - And men before women? - Also difficult. 529 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,450 This burning in front of family members, 530 00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:50,987 that's exactly the kind of thing I would like to cut back a bit. 531 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:53,284 Honestly? 532 00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,410 But then you are not allowed actually nothing more. 533 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:59,420 Speaking of women, I'll go straight to the point, 534 00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:02,961 it was also criticized that our troops are too... 535 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,626 is male-heavy. 536 00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:09,806 Therefore, from now on 20 percent women will be involved in the fire. 537 00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:12,967 - (laughter) - (Man) Madness is that. 538 00:30:13,228 --> 00:30:15,641 - You can't be serious. - That's enough. 539 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,682 But what should women when they're out pirating? 540 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,184 They are not able to... 541 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,105 Thank you, Gudrun. 542 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:28,775 Conveniently the ratio is almost right now. 543 00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:31,035 Uh... Question. 544 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,412 What about quads? 545 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,531 Oh no, now you start too. 546 00:30:35,792 --> 00:30:38,876 We have the same right to act to act like brutal morons. 547 00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:42,873 Guys, I ask a lot of you. But it's often the packaging. 548 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,044 Example: 549 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:49,137 Cut off someone's ears, ask if they want a drink. 550 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,547 Or wish you a nice day. 551 00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,925 Small gestures make all the difference. 552 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,677 Sorry, but honestly, 553 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:58,938 superoften very little comes back back from the people. 554 00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:01,941 "Thank you for only gouge out one eye", 555 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,692 you can wait a long time. 556 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,774 They always pull such a face. 557 00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:09,111 I'm with you there, Tjure. Both sides have to move. 558 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,781 Yes. 559 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,410 Okay, can we raid this shithole village then we can raid it? 560 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,534 We will, Gudrun. That's why we're here. 561 00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,744 Valhalla! 562 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:23,291 Hey, hey! Hello! 563 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,665 Is it possible to do this more quietly? 564 00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:28,300 Many have toddlers, who sleep. 565 00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:30,257 Think about it, people. 566 00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:33,764 (whispers) So, Wal... hella. 567 00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:37,765 (all whisper) Valhalla. 568 00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:40,601 Super. Really good, guys. Now comes. 569 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:43,975 (traditional nordic music) 570 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:47,816 Shh. 571 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,954 (whisper) Valhalla. 572 00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:58,115 (Dr. Friedle) Despite laudable exceptions 573 00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:00,954 Europe was heading Europe was heading for its socio-cultural nadir. 574 00:32:01,211 --> 00:32:04,875 The people literally lived in their excrement. 575 00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:08,667 A condition that was only repeated later repeated in Woodstock. 576 00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:11,382 Often only praying helped. 577 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,842 O Lord, we thank you. 578 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:17,099 Thank you for always subject us to tests, 579 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:20,262 through which we may prove our faith may prove. 580 00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,556 Thank you my father Johann 581 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,725 in the Holy War was allowed to give his life for you 582 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,236 and my husband for seven years not returned from his trip, 583 00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:31,147 so that I may prove 584 00:32:31,324 --> 00:32:34,988 that I can raise our twelve children can also raise them alone. 585 00:32:35,579 --> 00:32:39,619 Thank you that the little Timmi in the arm was torn off in the mill 586 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:44,582 and we learned to appreciate the gift of bodily integrity. 587 00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,705 Thank you our eldest 588 00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:51,718 accused of heresy, was imprisoned and tortured, 589 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:56,257 and that way you enable her to return to the right path. 590 00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:02,187 Thank you for taking Mother's sight to sharpen other senses. 591 00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:07,274 Thank you for sparing spared my husband Klaus, 592 00:33:07,444 --> 00:33:12,735 who will hopefully soon return with riches unharmed from his sea voyage.... 593 00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:16,026 Come to the port. Störtebeker Klaus was caught. 594 00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:17,694 Now they are executing him. 595 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,200 Of course. 596 00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:26,919 (Dr. Friedle) Klaus Störtebeker, first privateer of the German Hanseatic League, 597 00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:29,171 then freelance pirate. 598 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,877 Ah, there he is. 599 00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:35,261 However, he was arrested for bogus self-employment 600 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:38,673 and for one or the other cruel slaughter on the high seas. 601 00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:41,221 (Klaus, you horny pig! 602 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,101 (man) Before us... 603 00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:46,098 Klaus Störtebeker and his and his companions, 604 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:50,063 to be finally judged for their to be judged 605 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:54,063 and face their creator. 606 00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:58,489 - I always wanted to meet him. - I hope he can take it. 607 00:33:59,496 --> 00:34:03,581 There, look! They are still mocking their misdeeds. 608 00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:06,997 So that the event not become so dull. Entertainment. 609 00:34:07,254 --> 00:34:10,042 - He could pardon us for that. - He could. 610 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:12,791 You want entertainment? 611 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:15,381 Well, how about this? 612 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:19,464 I pardon each of your companions, 613 00:34:19,641 --> 00:34:23,681 which you after your beheading. 614 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:27,806 How does that sound for the strong entertaining pirate? 615 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,770 Uh... after my decapitation? 616 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:32,859 But... 617 00:34:33,113 --> 00:34:35,150 Won't I be dead as a doornail then? 618 00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:38,191 Oops, that's right. How stupid of me. 619 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,660 What can we do there? Ah, now I know. 620 00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:43,617 If that's too difficult, 621 00:34:43,790 --> 00:34:47,830 then you simply run past before your decapitation. 622 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:52,623 Well? Would that please the fine Mr. Störtebeker like it better? 623 00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,335 Yeah, sure. That's better. 624 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,546 So, if that's not an inconvenience. 625 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,385 Of course we don't do that! 626 00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:00,217 First you will be decapitated, 627 00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:03,554 then we look, how far the loudmouth gets. 628 00:35:04,477 --> 00:35:07,811 - One moment. You just said it differently. - Very clearly. 629 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,933 Before the beheading he may walk past us, before that. 630 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,477 - You heard that too, right? - Yes. 631 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,526 - That's right. - (Mayor) Yes. 632 00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:20,866 But that was meant ironically. 633 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,575 Yes, no, but that was not to recognize. 634 00:35:29,753 --> 00:35:32,370 Of course. That was clearly irony. 635 00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,247 A very different emphasis, 636 00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:36,840 completely exposed and exaggerated. 637 00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,880 I did not perceive it that way. 638 00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:40,670 Nah, me neither. 639 00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:44,139 I don't give a damn. Executioners, do your duty. 640 00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:46,301 (depressing music) 641 00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:51,306 Sorry, I have to agree with Mr. Störtebeker right. 642 00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:53,850 - I didn't hear any irony. - Yes. 643 00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:58,400 For God's sake, I said in a completely exaggerated tone: 644 00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:00,319 "Oh, if that's better, 645 00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:04,736 then you simply walk past before your beheading." 646 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:07,326 Yes, he did, he said it again. 647 00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:10,287 To show you the difference you idiots. 648 00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:14,837 - That's a cheeky thing to say. - Be careful with the way you express yourself. 649 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,547 Always remain polite. 650 00:36:16,716 --> 00:36:18,582 There is a difference, whether I say: 651 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:22,674 "Störtebeker may pass, before he is beheaded." 652 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,180 Or whether I say, "Oops, 653 00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:28,221 of course, he's allowed to walk by, before he is decapitated." 654 00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:31,934 - He even said it twice. - He says it again and again. 655 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:35,228 Tell me, am I the last in town with a brain? 656 00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:38,986 You have to hear that, that there is a difference. 657 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:40,855 No, there was nothing. 658 00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:42,732 (Voices clamoring) 659 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:48,245 Yes, then I just run past my men, 660 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,498 after I was decapitated. 661 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:53,501 I can't stand the nitpicking anymore. 662 00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:55,915 Klaus, are you stupid? 663 00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:59,958 His smart-ass attitude is annoying. "Ironic, not ironic." 664 00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:04,507 What do I know? I'm a pirate, right? And not a teacher. 665 00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:07,552 There are eleven of you. What kind of route is that? 666 00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:10,469 And that with my heel spur. No, come on. Come on. 667 00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:14,021 I don't think it's right, I have to be honest. 668 00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:17,775 It's meant to be nice, but I have to finish. 669 00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:20,527 In the neck just a little bit, ne? 670 00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:22,316 Cut the bullshit. 671 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:23,985 Think about the team! 672 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,651 Silence! Silence! Silence! 673 00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:30,495 He made his decision. Executioner, do it at last. 674 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:37,036 Was that meant seriously or irony again? 675 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,592 Now strike at last. 676 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,428 Otherwise you will be next, who lies there. 677 00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,221 This is not meant ironically. 678 00:37:57,525 --> 00:38:00,438 (Smacking, then yelling) 679 00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:02,812 - Ew. - Wuäh. 680 00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:06,815 There, he stands up again. 681 00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:10,411 Klaus! Come here. 682 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,788 This is the last chance. 683 00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:17,247 Come to me. Klaus, here I am. 684 00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:19,587 I am over here. Come to me. 685 00:38:19,839 --> 00:38:22,377 (impressive music) 686 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,296 (Voices clamoring) 687 00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:29,847 - (murmur) - A bit awkward. 688 00:38:30,099 --> 00:38:32,216 Good, that's settled. 689 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,975 Who is next? 690 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:38,472 Wait, I have a better idea. 691 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,142 You will all just be pardoned, 692 00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:42,893 just like that. 693 00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:45,312 - Yes! - Yes! 694 00:38:45,573 --> 00:38:48,065 (solemn brass music) 695 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,492 Long live the mayor! 696 00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,832 Long live Klaus Störtebeker! 697 00:39:01,714 --> 00:39:03,956 Ah, here we are again. Good work. 698 00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:08,218 About a thousand years lasted approximately the Middle Ages, 699 00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:12,928 in which the whole world stagnated tiny little bit stagnant. 700 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:16,765 But at some point progress can no longer be stopped. 701 00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:18,645 Would you like a small example? 702 00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:24,152 On this cassette fit almost 40 minutes of music on it. 703 00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:28,864 Unbelievable. That would have been been unimaginable a few years ago. 704 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:31,116 Or take nuclear energy. 705 00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:33,778 Clean, safe, efficient. 706 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:39,159 In Fukushima, a state-of-the-art a state-of-the-art reactor went online. 707 00:39:39,335 --> 00:39:41,122 Those lucky bastards. 708 00:39:41,296 --> 00:39:44,334 If everything goes well, they'll soon be everywhere. 709 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:48,501 Also in our history the future was unstoppable. 710 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:52,797 The European rulers sent explorers across the oceans, 711 00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:55,182 to conquer foreign lands. 712 00:39:55,351 --> 00:40:00,312 First and foremost, the great navigator, Christopher Columbus. 713 00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,852 (Christoph) Captain's log entry. 714 00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:07,817 Even after three months at sea no trace of the Indian continent. 715 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:10,405 I must deliver Queen Isabella deliver successes soon. 716 00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:12,066 I have the impression 717 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:17,329 that a lack of discipline is slowly indiscipline is creeping into the team. 718 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:19,706 Still no land in sight. 719 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:23,752 Damn. 720 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:27,915 What is it? 721 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,084 (soft chuckle) 722 00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:32,461 Not again, right? 723 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:36,010 Very funny. Really, insanely funny. 724 00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:38,008 Here, clean this up! 725 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:44,189 Land! 726 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,399 Land in sight! 727 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,356 Here you go, Capitán. 728 00:40:52,533 --> 00:40:54,525 (suspenseful music) 729 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:02,161 Oh! 730 00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:04,668 Indeed. Land! 731 00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:07,504 That must be India. 732 00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:12,376 So I was right. Compadres, we... 733 00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:19,467 (laughter) 734 00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:26,474 A leather patch in the form of a land mass. 735 00:41:28,361 --> 00:41:30,193 Very funny, really. 736 00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:31,778 I'm laughing my ass off. 737 00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:34,031 This is the end, understand? 738 00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:35,740 Or I'll have you keelhauled. 739 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,488 I promised to find India by the western sea route. 740 00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,248 That, and nothing else, we will do. 741 00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:45,618 - Is that clear? - Sí, Capitán! 742 00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,787 - Give me my compass. - Here, Captain. 743 00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:55,420 (soft chuckle) 744 00:41:56,848 --> 00:41:58,840 (hoarse giggling) 745 00:42:02,061 --> 00:42:04,018 (suppressed laughter) 746 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,224 (cackling laughter) 747 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,521 The letters are loose. 748 00:42:10,778 --> 00:42:13,065 You have north and south reversed? 749 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,323 But then we sailed sailed in the wrong direction. 750 00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:22,738 Who made this? 751 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:27,250 Who was that, I asked. I demand an answer. 752 00:42:31,966 --> 00:42:34,208 That was me, mon Capitán. 753 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:36,711 - Should be fun. - Fun? 754 00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:40,760 This is no fun, when we spend months... 755 00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:42,474 Land in sight, Capitán! 756 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,514 Yes, of course. 757 00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:47,430 Stupid Columbus falls for it for the third time. 758 00:42:47,607 --> 00:42:49,644 No! Really, Captain. Look! 759 00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,858 - A welcoming command. - There! 760 00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:54,103 (suspenseful music) 761 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,376 Indeed. 762 00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,628 A boat with locals. 763 00:43:12,298 --> 00:43:13,914 Jesus. 764 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,958 Men, get everything ready. 765 00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:18,502 - Let's welcome the Indians. - Si, Capitán. 766 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:24,303 I knew it. 767 00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:29,851 (bells ringing) 768 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:35,186 (lovely female choir) 769 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,317 - Oh! - The queen. 770 00:43:38,491 --> 00:43:39,982 Mi reina. 771 00:43:40,243 --> 00:43:42,405 Queen Isabella. What... 772 00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:55,706 Sorry, Columbus. 773 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:57,749 This was all my idea. 774 00:43:58,010 --> 00:44:00,002 India. (she snorts) 775 00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:05,383 Ah, the template was just too good. 776 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,602 You are still off the coast of Portugal. 777 00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:12,019 We have been sailing in circles. 778 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:14,558 But do not worry. 779 00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:17,186 One has found the western sea route 780 00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:20,401 and even discovered a new continent. 781 00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:22,817 We call it America. 782 00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:24,485 - Oh! - America. 783 00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:26,577 America. (Applause) 784 00:44:26,747 --> 00:44:29,911 (Isabella) Come on. Don't be offended. 785 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:33,036 That was just a harmless little joke. 786 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:38,548 - Columbus! - Do not be afraid, mi reina. 787 00:44:38,801 --> 00:44:42,169 The net with the rotten sardines hangs in front of the railing. 788 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:45,047 (Christoph) Yuck! You pigs! 789 00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:47,432 (laughter) 790 00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:49,635 (Isabella) Rum for everyone! 791 00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:51,303 (Cheers) 792 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,472 (Dr. Friedle) Yes, colonialism. 793 00:44:53,649 --> 00:44:55,140 Not great for everyone. 794 00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:57,310 Keywords: Enslavement, genocide and such. 795 00:44:57,486 --> 00:45:02,823 But at some point the ideas of the ideas of the Enlightenment made their way. 796 00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:07,111 Not grubby magazines under the covers, but the Renaissance. 797 00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:09,371 There was so much painting in Florence, 798 00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:13,580 that soon there were regular Renaissance flea markets existed. 799 00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:17,629 Who is the ugly old fart in the picture there? 800 00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:20,294 Oh. 801 00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:22,751 Quite vain. 802 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:26,463 Look, Mario, four arms and legs. 803 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:30,055 Well, master, there we have but already seen twice, huh? 804 00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:39,147 (Mario) What kind of monster is that? 805 00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,395 (meaningful music) 806 00:45:42,531 --> 00:45:45,023 That, you philistine, is true sculpture. 807 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:49,779 How finely it is worked, and how great the marble feels. 808 00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,905 This realism. 809 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:54,040 You are a true master... 810 00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:57,752 Michelangelo, Contessa. Grazie. This is my "David". 811 00:45:58,381 --> 00:46:00,668 But he is not particularly realistic. 812 00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:02,882 Especially the proportions. 813 00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:04,588 Don't you think? 814 00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,171 It's a little big. 815 00:46:08,891 --> 00:46:11,258 - Who is too big? - What are you talking about? 816 00:46:11,519 --> 00:46:13,511 - You think the statue is too big? - No. 817 00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:16,597 His... Well, the... His... 818 00:46:17,233 --> 00:46:18,394 Well, its here... 819 00:46:18,651 --> 00:46:19,983 The... 820 00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:22,102 The Thing. 821 00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:25,405 Well, his penis, for God's sake. 822 00:46:25,658 --> 00:46:28,071 - His penis? - Too big? 823 00:46:28,244 --> 00:46:30,736 - Why too big? - With respect, signore. 824 00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:33,997 If I were to find fault with the statue I would find fault with the statue, 825 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:37,830 would be the disproportionately small penis. 826 00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:41,088 (Mario laughs) Disproportionately small. 827 00:46:45,761 --> 00:46:47,627 Silvio? Giuseppe? 828 00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,509 Yes, now that you mention it. 829 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:54,259 Michelangelo, it's already... a little small. 830 00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:55,769 Proprio piccolo. 831 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:59,982 Signore, I have chosen the size chosen extra with care, 832 00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:04,649 to prevent men, who are not so well endowed, 833 00:47:04,905 --> 00:47:06,612 feel inferior. 834 00:47:06,866 --> 00:47:08,983 I think it's just right. 835 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,823 Don't let my fiancé from my fiancé. 836 00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:16,994 Uh... yes. Yes, I see it the same way, of course. 837 00:47:17,168 --> 00:47:19,785 This is a very small organ. 838 00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:22,788 Pitifully small, even. 839 00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:25,958 I only worry about the prudish Florentine society. 840 00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:29,336 But if you like it that way, my dearest... 841 00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:34,016 - Sorry. Can you glue it? - No. 842 00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:37,932 This statue was made of finest Carrara marble. 843 00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:41,102 - That is impossible. - That was an accident. Here. 844 00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:43,271 For your inconvenience. 845 00:47:43,444 --> 00:47:46,187 So, we go on. We go on! 846 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:54,952 Coming! 847 00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,412 Damn nobleman, huh? 848 00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:02,669 I am really sorry for your David, Michelangelo. 849 00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,546 Oh, what the heck. I'll chop off the balls, too. 850 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:08,754 Maybe I can from the stump another... 851 00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:11,386 model tiny little penis. 852 00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:15,424 Yes, and who knows, maybe penises will be so small in the future, 853 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,097 that it already seems normal again. 854 00:48:22,983 --> 00:48:24,019 Just kidding. 855 00:48:24,193 --> 00:48:27,903 (Dr. Friedle) Art was an expression of the new of the new self-confidence. 856 00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,655 One suddenly wondered, whether that was all right, 857 00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,316 for half a spoonful of flour 858 00:48:32,493 --> 00:48:34,735 14 hours slaving away in a tannery, 859 00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:37,655 while the nobility were bored with cake fights. 860 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:41,121 In France, a revolution was could no longer be stopped. 861 00:48:41,293 --> 00:48:44,206 In the first place thanks to the invention of one man, 862 00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:46,292 Joseph Guillotin. 863 00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:51,335 (soulful piano playing) 864 00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:57,975 (sings) I haven't even been At school 865 00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:01,808 And Miezi was my favorite animal 866 00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:03,855 Snip, snap 867 00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:06,357 So I separated the tail 868 00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:09,102 From her 869 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:13,524 Also inflate frogs 870 00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:18,574 Spoon off the little rabbit 871 00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:20,830 Under the millstone crunched 872 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,244 Many a cute animal 873 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:32,551 Early I recognized my talent 874 00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:35,466 That God created, and then... 875 00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:41,560 Became my hobby profession 876 00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:46,724 And when the blade falls 877 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:51,103 The world pauses briefly 878 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:55,320 Then butterflies fly high 879 00:49:55,910 --> 00:49:58,903 To the canopy 880 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:03,323 When steel rushes through necks 881 00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:09,204 This is the most beautiful sound in the world 882 00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:12,749 Worth more than sex and money 883 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:19,223 When the blade falls 884 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:22,593 Hats off! We do well 885 00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:26,605 What used to be difficult Is now done by the machine 886 00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:29,565 Hats off! That goes off well 887 00:50:29,818 --> 00:50:33,186 From now on you get here Even at short notice appointments 888 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:36,736 This gives a souvenir for the showcase 889 00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:40,493 And I finally get rich Because I earn per capita 890 00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:44,365 Whether red Whether black or blonde 891 00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:50,212 - Cheers... - ...to my little guillotine 892 00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:52,998 (man) Here comes the king! 893 00:50:55,844 --> 00:50:57,426 I am the Louis X-V-I 894 00:50:57,596 --> 00:50:59,337 And I sat fat on the throne 895 00:50:59,515 --> 00:51:02,974 Now it goes splatter With this revolution 896 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:06,181 A "the device" that wants That you put body parts in it 897 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:09,644 All at once six kilos lighter What 'n horny effect 898 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:12,062 With my own head Play soccer for a change 899 00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,981 That would be a gag 900 00:51:14,238 --> 00:51:17,481 And this disgusting acne Would then also finally gone 901 00:51:17,741 --> 00:51:20,654 So if you need someone Quasi as a research object... 902 00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,820 Good idea! Take it. 903 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:24,992 What? I wasn't serious. 904 00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:28,075 Don't you understand, you idiots? 905 00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,327 I am Louis XVI! 906 00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,454 Yes, it is, but without the head. 907 00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,459 And. 908 00:51:34,633 --> 00:51:40,129 When the blade falls 909 00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:45,429 The world pauses briefly 910 00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:50,147 Then butterflies fly high 911 00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:54,769 To the canopy 912 00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:59,865 When steel rushes through necks 913 00:52:00,034 --> 00:52:03,698 This is the most beautiful sound in the world 914 00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:07,288 Look, a dick tent. 915 00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:11,785 When the blade 916 00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:14,959 falls! 917 00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:20,719 The blade falls! 918 00:52:24,642 --> 00:52:26,508 Merde. 919 00:52:26,769 --> 00:52:28,726 (sings along bubbling) 920 00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:31,638 (hisses grumbling) 921 00:52:31,815 --> 00:52:34,774 (Dr. Friedle) Oh, it's catchy, isn't it? 922 00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:37,895 Thanks to the guillotine the monarchy soon came to an end, 923 00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:42,032 but not by a long shot with the senseless slaughter in Europe. 924 00:52:42,201 --> 00:52:44,818 No wonder, that many were fed up 925 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:46,782 and emigrated to America. 926 00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:49,242 If you already emigrate by ship, 927 00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:53,956 why not do it right away on the legendary Titanic? 928 00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:57,501 Well, one reason could have been, 929 00:52:57,675 --> 00:53:00,543 that the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage. 930 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:04,679 And the culprit was the captain himself. 931 00:53:10,896 --> 00:53:13,604 Captain to bridge. Gentlemen. 932 00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:18,193 Let me introduce you to Jessica, who is starting her trial internship. 933 00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:23,110 - Good evening, young lady. - I have an excellent idea. 934 00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:26,492 How about you take the wheel take the wheel? 935 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:28,654 - From me. - Great. Well then. 936 00:53:28,831 --> 00:53:31,164 Sir, you're kidding, right? 937 00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:32,574 Of course not. 938 00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:36,119 The offspring have to learn it sometime. Jessica? 939 00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:37,871 Sir, at dark, 940 00:53:38,048 --> 00:53:40,415 the world's largest ship, under full load? 941 00:53:40,676 --> 00:53:43,293 Oh, what. You grow with your tasks. 942 00:53:44,847 --> 00:53:47,339 But you would have to already look at the sea. 943 00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:50,304 Sorry, can not. I broke a nail. 944 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,059 One nail broken off. 945 00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:54,603 Well, that comes first, of course. 946 00:53:54,773 --> 00:53:57,516 Sir, iceberg ahead. North-northwest. 947 00:53:57,693 --> 00:53:59,730 Really? A polar bear? 948 00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:01,694 Oh, the little ones are so cute. 949 00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:03,981 Yes, that's it, a polar bear. 950 00:54:04,158 --> 00:54:07,276 No, Mr. Johnson means an iceberg, Jessica. 951 00:54:07,453 --> 00:54:08,569 An iceberg. 952 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:11,780 (Jessica) I see. Boring. 953 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:15,500 (Captain) Indeed. An iceberg. 954 00:54:16,211 --> 00:54:18,077 Oh, that's a humdinger. 955 00:54:18,881 --> 00:54:21,669 Yes, that was to be to be expected in the area. 956 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:24,380 - Sir, you should take the helm... - No. 957 00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:27,170 This is all done by our intern. 958 00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:29,384 So, look. 959 00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:34,098 So a good mile ahead seems to actually be an iceberg. 960 00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:36,141 Which we are heading straight for. 961 00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:37,934 - Sir, I suggest... - Shh! 962 00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:39,979 What do you suggest? 963 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,646 Evasion? 964 00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:43,520 Or do we push that one away? 965 00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:46,190 Huh? It's getting bigger and bigger. 966 00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:49,074 Exactly. The iceberg is getting bigger and bigger. 967 00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:51,531 Which isn't really true, sailor. 968 00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:54,118 It just looks like it's getting bigger, 969 00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:56,616 because we are approaching the iceberg, 970 00:54:56,877 --> 00:54:59,460 and he takes more and more of the field of vision. 971 00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:03,340 - Sir, I must insist... - She has to learn this for herself. 972 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,421 Yeah, that sucks. I am not stupid. 973 00:55:06,094 --> 00:55:08,256 No, just ignore him. 974 00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:11,548 If we don't change course, we can't get out of the way. 975 00:55:11,809 --> 00:55:13,675 Oh, dodge. 976 00:55:13,852 --> 00:55:15,013 Right. 977 00:55:15,270 --> 00:55:17,853 You say it before. She should come up with it herself. 978 00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:19,514 Yes, I would be too. 979 00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:23,564 I know that. And I know why you did this, Miller! 980 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:26,980 You are afraid someone might have more talent. 981 00:55:27,241 --> 00:55:29,699 - More talent? - You are consumed by ambition! 982 00:55:29,952 --> 00:55:33,036 - They do not tolerate anyone. - How exactly to dodge? 983 00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:34,696 A few things would have to be... 984 00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,865 Hey! He grabbed me. 985 00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:38,912 Get off the helm, Johnson! 986 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:42,003 - She has to learn! - You're insane, Smith! 987 00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:45,882 - (thunderous rumbling) - Jesus. 988 00:55:47,970 --> 00:55:49,962 (creaking rattle) 989 00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,591 (squeak) 990 00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:01,974 - Huh? - (persistent ringing) 991 00:56:02,234 --> 00:56:04,066 - Did I do that now? - No. 992 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:05,810 The culprits are 993 00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:09,481 our as incompetent as jealous officers! 994 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:13,527 - Man, that's no fun anymore. - I can understand that very well. 995 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:14,948 See? 996 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:19,583 You have spoiled Jessica's first day spoiled Jessica's desire to work. 997 00:56:19,835 --> 00:56:22,828 Because she steered the most expensive ship in the world into an iceberg. 998 00:56:23,005 --> 00:56:25,622 Yes, and? Is that about to break, or what? 999 00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:27,624 No, it isn't. 1000 00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,918 The Titanic is unsinkable. 1001 00:56:30,178 --> 00:56:33,797 Captain, water ingress in sections one through four of the lower decks. 1002 00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:38,142 - The ship is unstoppable. - We must evacuate immediately! 1003 00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,557 - And now we're all drowning? - No. 1004 00:56:40,731 --> 00:56:42,142 Great internship. 1005 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:45,938 We are not drowning. We have our lifeboats. 1006 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:50,814 You had still calculated, how many we need, right? 1007 00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:53,191 Hm... 1008 00:56:55,787 --> 00:56:57,904 Johnson. Miller! Where are you going? 1009 00:56:58,165 --> 00:57:00,873 You are to practice knots with the Jessica Practice knots. 1010 00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:04,995 (Dr. Friedle) There it goes, the dream of emigrating to America. 1011 00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:07,209 It would not have been a bad idea, 1012 00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:09,920 because shortly thereafter the First World War broke out, 1013 00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:13,552 which was so well received that a second part came out later. 1014 00:57:13,722 --> 00:57:15,213 But we'll get to that. 1015 00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:20,970 The First World War was decided was decided on the so-called Western Front, 1016 00:57:21,146 --> 00:57:24,765 where French and Germans faced each other in trenches 1017 00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:27,104 and fought fiercely for victory. 1018 00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:28,852 (screams, crashes) 1019 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:33,440 (loud shouting) 1020 00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:35,609 (dramatic music) 1021 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:42,035 Damn! They do not let up. 1022 00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:45,000 - (vocals) - What are they doing? 1023 00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:47,370 Scha-la-la-la 1024 00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:50,373 - They are all women. - What? 1025 00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:53,046 (Shouts) 1026 00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:54,919 (wife) Elke is getting married! 1027 00:58:02,437 --> 00:58:04,099 Cease fire! 1028 00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:07,060 Cease fire! There are civilians! 1029 00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:10,025 Hey! Hey! Get out of here! 1030 00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:11,982 Go back! 1031 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:14,067 They are insane. 1032 00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:26,750 (suspenseful music) 1033 00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:29,337 (women sing) 1034 00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:31,421 That's insane! 1035 00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:34,463 These are our women, Hans! I have to try! 1036 00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:37,928 Ah, damn. 1037 00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:39,589 Gerhard. 1038 00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,809 (he groans) 1039 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:49,353 (monumental music) 1040 00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:03,663 (Swabian) Finally. Here come some crisp soldiers. 1041 00:59:03,915 --> 00:59:05,122 - Do not move! - Ne bouge pas! 1042 00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:06,786 Whoa. 1043 00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:09,206 He's cute. 1044 00:59:09,463 --> 00:59:12,046 Qui êtes-vous? Que faites-vous sur un champ de bataille? 1045 00:59:12,299 --> 00:59:14,666 Get out of here. Go, damn it! 1046 00:59:14,843 --> 00:59:16,550 You would like that. 1047 00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:19,386 Now the party is just getting started. 1048 00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:23,008 Elke lets herself be put in chains today. 1049 00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:25,225 (women cheer) 1050 00:59:28,356 --> 00:59:29,972 Hello. Bonjour. 1051 00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:32,099 But before that happens, 1052 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,068 celebrate me once again grenade. 1053 00:59:35,322 --> 00:59:37,405 - Right, girls? - Woohoo! 1054 00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:41,409 Elke! Elke! Elke! 1055 00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:46,948 Man, don't you get it? We are between the fronts. 1056 00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:49,496 Au nom de Dieu, qui est-ce? 1057 00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:52,252 They're having a bachelorette party. 1058 00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,422 Adieu de célibataire. 1059 00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:56,916 Moi. 1060 00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:59,169 Ici? Pendant une bataille? 1061 00:59:59,429 --> 01:00:02,467 Oh, you may continue fighting in a moment. 1062 01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:05,429 But before that you must necessarily the Elke 1063 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:08,140 a couple of little shits in pants from buy. 1064 01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:10,721 (stammers) Scheißerle? 1065 01:00:10,899 --> 01:00:13,107 - Elles veux... - Elles veulent! 1066 01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,101 Elles veulent... Exactly. 1067 01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:18,196 - Que nous ayons... Drink booze? - Glug, glug. 1068 01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:20,440 Liqeur... Cognac! 1069 01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:21,941 - Ici? No! - Yes. 1070 01:00:22,202 --> 01:00:24,114 Sont-ils complètement stupides? 1071 01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:27,034 And, Elke? Did we promise too much? 1072 01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:29,164 They're awesome, don't you think? 1073 01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:30,874 Yes. 1074 01:00:31,044 --> 01:00:33,957 I really celebrate how cute they are. 1075 01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:35,747 - (they giggle) - Sodele. 1076 01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:38,795 There are already your pants shits. 1077 01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,042 Non, non. 1078 01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:43,296 - Oui! - Wait a minute, Jack. 1079 01:00:43,557 --> 01:00:46,470 You have to pay for the little shits. 1080 01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,594 I don't have any money with me. And neither does he. 1081 01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:51,517 - Oh! - No problem. 1082 01:00:51,773 --> 01:00:53,935 We know our cardboard secretaries. 1083 01:00:54,192 --> 01:00:56,400 Then you have to give Elke a kiss. 1084 01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,690 - (they screech) - Give smack. 1085 01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:00,981 Give a smack! Give a smack! 1086 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:05,068 (they cheer) 1087 01:01:14,963 --> 01:01:17,000 18 carat gold. Is that also possible? 1088 01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:19,499 - We'll let that stand. - Oh, too bad. 1089 01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:22,797 So, now down with the little shits. 1090 01:01:23,054 --> 01:01:25,171 - Non. Le travail. - Drink! Drink! 1091 01:01:26,641 --> 01:01:29,008 Now drink, or they'll never leave. 1092 01:01:29,269 --> 01:01:31,135 - Buvez, s'il vous plaît! - Drink! Drink! 1093 01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:34,013 (Women) Drink! Drink! Drink! 1094 01:01:36,318 --> 01:01:38,310 (they cheer) 1095 01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:41,612 Strong. 1096 01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,908 (ominous music) 1097 01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:48,034 Vous, maudites femmes! 1098 01:01:49,748 --> 01:01:51,535 (he chokes) 1099 01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:53,953 (he gasps) 1100 01:01:59,299 --> 01:02:01,006 Non! 1101 01:02:02,552 --> 01:02:05,511 - You poisoned him? - You can leave one on that. 1102 01:02:05,764 --> 01:02:07,972 This is called modern warfare. 1103 01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,512 - We belong to PUFF. - PUFF? 1104 01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:12,476 "Patriarchy infiltrating Free women" 1105 01:02:12,729 --> 01:02:14,220 Balingen branch. 1106 01:02:14,397 --> 01:02:17,765 Don't waste any time. Back to the trench, comrade. 1107 01:02:18,026 --> 01:02:21,110 On, sisters. To the next usurper. 1108 01:02:21,279 --> 01:02:24,772 - Elke! Elke! Elke! - Let's go! 1109 01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:27,491 What's up do hanne? 1110 01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:30,153 We go off do hanne! 1111 01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:32,322 (they cheer) 1112 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,621 Fucking women. 1113 01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:40,041 (Dr. Friedle) Better can be 1114 01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:43,458 the senselessness of war not make clear. 1115 01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:47,803 My father was luckier, who was also on the Western Front, 1116 01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:51,683 but survived and later emigrated emigrated to New York, 1117 01:02:51,851 --> 01:02:54,468 where he has worked with diligence and will to survive 1118 01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:59,186 within a very short time to a very successful pickpocket, 1119 01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:02,397 Hat player and whoremonger worked up. 1120 01:03:02,570 --> 01:03:04,402 God rest his soul. 1121 01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:07,356 But if you are honest, 1122 01:03:07,534 --> 01:03:09,821 the land of unlimited possibilities 1123 01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:12,408 was not always a safe place. 1124 01:03:13,581 --> 01:03:18,326 After the Great Depression in 1929, one thing above all was unlimited: 1125 01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:19,994 Namely the chance, 1126 01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:23,539 for a bottle of home distilled $100 for a bottle of home distilled booze 1127 01:03:23,717 --> 01:03:27,176 or on the open street to get a bullet in the head. 1128 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:32,386 In Chicago, mob boss Mafia boss Al Capone ruled like a king. 1129 01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:36,644 It took years for the man with the famous flowery language 1130 01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,351 could finally be caught. 1131 01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:42,641 Ciao, Mario. 1132 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,190 Ciao, bella! 1133 01:03:46,364 --> 01:03:48,356 Well? How are you? 1134 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,947 - Do we know each other? - Not me. 1135 01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,203 But maybe my boss. 1136 01:03:54,372 --> 01:03:57,991 I'm supposed to give you my best regards and a message. 1137 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:00,626 He does not like it when he is deceived. 1138 01:04:00,879 --> 01:04:02,871 (ominous music) 1139 01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:07,462 (Screams) 1140 01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:17,388 Drive. 1141 01:04:19,731 --> 01:04:21,267 (he groans) 1142 01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,518 (mysterious music) 1143 01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:41,033 (soft trumpet playing) 1144 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:55,680 (music becomes more intense) 1145 01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,227 Mario, Mario, Mario. 1146 01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:06,024 Look what you've done. 1147 01:05:06,194 --> 01:05:08,902 So much unnecessary bloodshed. 1148 01:05:10,115 --> 01:05:12,698 - Al, I swear, I... - Ah, don't swear. 1149 01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:17,494 What's the saying? 1150 01:05:18,623 --> 01:05:22,492 When the farmer peels the donkey, often bloom the most beautiful cod. 1151 01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:27,713 What... What do you mean? 1152 01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:31,046 Well, you better not dive through naked cream, 1153 01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,131 when you have hardly any fur on the back. 1154 01:05:33,304 --> 01:05:34,795 Barely fur, naked cream? 1155 01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:36,672 I don't understand. 1156 01:05:37,642 --> 01:05:39,224 We paid on time after all. 1157 01:05:39,477 --> 01:05:41,218 Oh yes, you did, Mario. 1158 01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,390 That's exactly what makes me wonder. 1159 01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:49,648 You know, in the month with "W" 1160 01:05:49,821 --> 01:05:53,735 the blue otter is reluctant to be milked, very reluctant indeed. 1161 01:05:54,534 --> 01:05:56,571 Thick moth, quick toe. 1162 01:05:58,037 --> 01:05:59,949 Who is behind this, Mario. Huh? 1163 01:06:00,206 --> 01:06:02,243 I swear I don't know. 1164 01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:05,709 My experience tells me that once you dances samba with the pitchfork, 1165 01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:07,620 who snores even without teeth. 1166 01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:09,668 Damn, I didn't do anything. 1167 01:06:09,841 --> 01:06:12,003 And I don't know what you're talking about. 1168 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:13,921 (shot) 1169 01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:17,680 (man) But I know what he's talking about, Mario. 1170 01:06:17,932 --> 01:06:19,924 (mysterious music) 1171 01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:26,013 Eliot Ness. 1172 01:06:29,903 --> 01:06:32,896 What he's trying to say, Mario, is this... 1173 01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:37,199 Even the tastiest racehorse only goes on the road for so long, 1174 01:06:37,452 --> 01:06:39,535 until it stinks. 1175 01:06:40,538 --> 01:06:42,825 - Am I right? - Quiet color, hot shoe. 1176 01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:45,616 Quiet color, hot shoe. 1177 01:06:47,754 --> 01:06:49,245 You say. 1178 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:52,335 But you could also also express it differently. 1179 01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:55,923 Who never with naked ass has licked nuns in the moonlight, 1180 01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:57,677 rarely knits large cookies. 1181 01:06:59,432 --> 01:07:02,846 - Say that again. - You heard me, Al. 1182 01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:05,184 Take him away. 1183 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:08,522 You fucking pig. 1184 01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:13,644 You think you've won, but remember this... 1185 01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:16,897 The deeper you stick the fish up your nose, 1186 01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:19,442 the louder the owl farts into the cake. 1187 01:07:21,955 --> 01:07:23,947 That remains to be seen. 1188 01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:28,538 You have the radish full of blackbirds! 1189 01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:32,045 At the end there are only albinos in the wooden roller coaster. 1190 01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:34,540 Ness, I know, where the tomatoes fly! 1191 01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,130 That was very brave of you, Mario. 1192 01:07:37,303 --> 01:07:38,794 Thank you very much. 1193 01:07:40,181 --> 01:07:43,015 Heavy cotton, round milk, Mr. Ness. 1194 01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:46,552 Heavy cotton, round milk. That's exactly how it is. 1195 01:07:47,313 --> 01:07:50,932 (Dr. Friedle) Al Capone was right. Mario had betrayed him. 1196 01:07:51,109 --> 01:07:52,816 But what is the saying? 1197 01:07:52,986 --> 01:07:55,319 There's no honey without a waltz. 1198 01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:58,526 The peak of violence was not reached, however. 1199 01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:02,697 This came in 1939 with the outbreak of the Second World War 1200 01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:07,490 and the seizure of power by the Nazis under their leader Adolf Hitler. 1201 01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:12,002 Should you have the technique of time travel, 1202 01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:15,418 you would have you'd have a huge chip on your shoulder, 1203 01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:20,087 when you travel like this in August 1888 travel to Braunau am Inn 1204 01:08:20,263 --> 01:08:24,633 and Alois and Klara Hitler would bring a pack of condoms. 1205 01:08:24,809 --> 01:08:26,846 Size XS should fit. 1206 01:08:27,895 --> 01:08:29,477 Thanks already. 1207 01:08:29,647 --> 01:08:34,608 In our timeline, however, Hitler instigated however, instigated the Second World War 1208 01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:37,941 and thus brought the whole world to the abyss. 1209 01:08:38,990 --> 01:08:41,152 A group of brave men, however, 1210 01:08:41,326 --> 01:08:44,364 under the leadership of Count Claus von Stauffenberg, 1211 01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:47,864 planned to change history for the better. 1212 01:08:49,334 --> 01:08:50,825 Gentlemen, 1213 01:08:51,002 --> 01:08:54,996 I am pleased that so many of you to the secret meeting. 1214 01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:58,666 After the failures of the past months, time is more and more after the failures of the past months. 1215 01:08:58,843 --> 01:09:04,009 I hope you have thought about a plan that promises success, 1216 01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:08,017 who leads our leader to his deserved destiny. 1217 01:09:08,645 --> 01:09:12,309 - Herr von Stauffenberg, may I? - Major von Freyend, please. 1218 01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:14,644 - That's what we're here for. - Thank you. 1219 01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:17,400 I have given it some thought. 1220 01:09:18,321 --> 01:09:20,859 Essential to my plan is, 1221 01:09:21,032 --> 01:09:24,901 the leader on the evening of 20, his birthday, 1222 01:09:25,161 --> 01:09:27,027 as you all know, 1223 01:09:27,288 --> 01:09:29,780 with an urgent dispatch distract 1224 01:09:29,957 --> 01:09:32,995 and to get them to leave the headquarters to persuade 1225 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:35,536 I will at the time already 1226 01:09:35,713 --> 01:09:38,877 have taken all essential precautions have made, 1227 01:09:39,050 --> 01:09:41,292 so that after a few simple steps 1228 01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:44,762 only has to flick the light switch, 1229 01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,514 as soon as the guide returns. 1230 01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:49,599 And then... 1231 01:09:49,769 --> 01:09:51,135 Bam! 1232 01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:53,345 Surprise. 1233 01:09:54,232 --> 01:09:58,476 Burning already all sparklers on a giant Himmler... 1234 01:09:58,653 --> 01:10:01,191 er, raspberry cream pie, 1235 01:10:01,364 --> 01:10:03,856 and a small four man chapel 1236 01:10:04,033 --> 01:10:06,696 plays the Badenweiler March. 1237 01:10:11,582 --> 01:10:14,871 And this cake is then... poisoned? 1238 01:10:16,504 --> 01:10:17,995 No. Why? 1239 01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,505 In the process, our leader be damaged. 1240 01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:23,209 (ominous music) 1241 01:10:26,806 --> 01:10:30,095 Wait a minute, Isn't this the planning group 1242 01:10:30,268 --> 01:10:33,557 for the surprise party for the Führer's birthday on April 20? 1243 01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:35,062 No. 1244 01:10:35,273 --> 01:10:39,267 This is the resistance group to the planned assassination on July 20. 1245 01:10:45,199 --> 01:10:49,239 Oh. Yeah, then I'm officially in the wrong office. 1246 01:10:49,412 --> 01:10:51,870 You'll excuse me, gentlemen. 1247 01:10:52,123 --> 01:10:54,035 No problem. Can happen. 1248 01:10:54,208 --> 01:10:55,915 But, from Freyend... 1249 01:10:57,670 --> 01:11:00,538 - Not a word about this, understand? - Point of honor. 1250 01:11:04,051 --> 01:11:05,587 But only... 1251 01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:10,965 if in return you do not reveal anything about the surprise party. 1252 01:11:11,225 --> 01:11:13,308 You have the word of all of us. 1253 01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:15,515 - Heil Hitler! - Heil Hitler! 1254 01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:21,017 (Stauffenberg) Good. Um... 1255 01:11:21,569 --> 01:11:24,528 Now for the right plans, to get rid of this monster. 1256 01:11:24,697 --> 01:11:27,155 We are all ears, Colonel. 1257 01:11:27,325 --> 01:11:28,406 I call it... 1258 01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,485 Operation Valkyrie. 1259 01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,030 The plan is this: 1260 01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:39,410 I myself smuggle a bomb hidden in a briefcase 1261 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:42,580 to the next meeting in the Wolf's Lair. 1262 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:47,175 But Mr. Stauffenberg, wouldn't you have to sacrifice yourself for that? 1263 01:11:47,428 --> 01:11:49,670 - Yes. - Yes? 1264 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,422 But how exactly... 1265 01:11:51,682 --> 01:11:54,299 We detonate only half of the explosives, 1266 01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:56,639 whereby no real damage occurs. 1267 01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:59,684 Wait a minute. Hitler is not killed in the process? 1268 01:11:59,941 --> 01:12:03,605 This is prevented by the table top, which absorbs the pressure wave. 1269 01:12:03,861 --> 01:12:04,897 Uh-huh. 1270 01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:06,607 But Hitler knows now, 1271 01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:09,151 that resistance up to the very top 1272 01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:11,783 and will have me executed. 1273 01:12:12,036 --> 01:12:14,870 - That is absurd. - Excluded. 1274 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:18,581 Wait. The real highlight is yet to come. 1275 01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:23,705 You seize the opportunity and will nevertheless issue a deployment order 1276 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:26,999 to the military takeover of all institutions 1277 01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,714 accidentally send to the Führer's headquarters, 1278 01:12:29,887 --> 01:12:31,378 whereby our coup d'état 1279 01:12:31,556 --> 01:12:33,422 will now be fully exposed. 1280 01:12:33,599 --> 01:12:35,465 Which in turn leads to, 1281 01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:39,808 that you too will be arrested and executed in the Bendlerblock. 1282 01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:43,265 And now we have to, 1283 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:46,310 or who comes after us, but sympathizes with us, 1284 01:12:46,487 --> 01:12:49,025 just sit back and wait. 1285 01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:51,656 Hitler is eaten away by his paranoia, 1286 01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:55,445 because he can never be sure that all the resisters have been eliminated. 1287 01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:59,615 His decisions will soon become more and more absurd. 1288 01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:02,664 Until he burns up all the resources 1289 01:13:02,837 --> 01:13:05,625 and has maneuvered itself into a hopeless has maneuvered itself into a hopeless situation. 1290 01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:07,960 The Allies push the Germans back, 1291 01:13:08,134 --> 01:13:09,420 Germany is occupied 1292 01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:12,090 and the Red Army advances as far as Berlin. 1293 01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:14,884 Hitler will eventually surrender 1294 01:13:15,141 --> 01:13:18,350 and afterwards in shame in the Führerbunker 1295 01:13:18,519 --> 01:13:20,431 as last option 1296 01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:22,392 take their own lives. 1297 01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:25,060 Bam. 1298 01:13:31,198 --> 01:13:33,440 An ingenious plan. 1299 01:13:33,701 --> 01:13:35,442 Bravo. Bravo. 1300 01:13:37,121 --> 01:13:38,703 To Operation Valkyrie. 1301 01:13:38,873 --> 01:13:40,830 (all) To Operation Valkyrie. 1302 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:43,993 (Dr. Friedle) A clever plan. Small disadvantage: 1303 01:13:44,170 --> 01:13:48,335 One or two days of war were to pass before the or other day of war should pass. 1304 01:13:48,507 --> 01:13:51,500 For example in the belly of an 80 meter long 1305 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:53,634 narrow, stuffy metal tube. 1306 01:13:53,804 --> 01:13:56,968 Not for me with my steel and water allergy. 1307 01:13:57,224 --> 01:13:59,216 (sonar pings) 1308 01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:02,723 (whispers) Screw noises. 1309 01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:04,559 270 degrees. 1310 01:14:05,441 --> 01:14:07,182 Quickly approaching. 1311 01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,477 (somber music) 1312 01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:12,397 Take us deeper, Fischer. Very slowly. 1313 01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,741 Front down 15, back up ten. 1314 01:14:18,162 --> 01:14:20,495 (Sonar pings faster) 1315 01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:24,616 Water bombs! 1316 01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:28,287 (bang) 1317 01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:30,129 (they groan) 1318 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,427 (bang) 1319 01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:41,133 (alarm rings) 1320 01:14:41,394 --> 01:14:43,010 Damage reports? 1321 01:14:43,562 --> 01:14:45,554 Water ingress in the engine room! 1322 01:14:45,731 --> 01:14:48,269 We are sinking too fast. 160 meters falling. 1323 01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,609 Do something. Machines full power back. 1324 01:14:50,861 --> 01:14:53,569 They do not react. 190 meters falling. 1325 01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:56,611 (ominous metallic creaking) 1326 01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:01,119 200 meters. 1327 01:15:04,291 --> 01:15:05,782 (Sailor) 210. 1328 01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:08,001 Just stop. 1329 01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:09,870 (Sailor) Over 220. 1330 01:15:11,465 --> 01:15:13,582 (muffled rumbling) 1331 01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,630 - What was that? - We put on. 1332 01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,178 Here? Impossible. 1333 01:15:22,226 --> 01:15:25,219 This must be an plateau that has not been recorded. 1334 01:15:25,479 --> 01:15:26,811 230 meters. 1335 01:15:27,064 --> 01:15:29,852 (dramatic smoldering music) 1336 01:15:40,077 --> 01:15:41,284 Good. 1337 01:15:42,246 --> 01:15:43,862 Take a breath. 1338 01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:46,123 We need to get back up there. 1339 01:15:46,375 --> 01:15:48,788 Fischer, blow on all the dip cells. 1340 01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:51,203 Blow. Blow on all cells. 1341 01:15:53,174 --> 01:15:54,790 (faint hiss) 1342 01:15:55,676 --> 01:15:58,760 - Everything is under water. - Again. 1343 01:15:58,929 --> 01:16:01,797 Blow again. Everything you have. 1344 01:16:05,603 --> 01:16:07,310 (faint hiss) 1345 01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:09,520 Not a chance. 1346 01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:23,861 (hesitant fart) 1347 01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:26,867 - Sorry. - Friedrichs. 1348 01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,615 - I'm sorry. - Pull yourself together. 1349 01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:30,708 Wow, that's horrible. 1350 01:16:30,961 --> 01:16:32,998 Whenever I'm excited. 1351 01:16:33,255 --> 01:16:37,215 We're about to go on it, and the Last I smell your beer shit. 1352 01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:38,959 (fart) 1353 01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:40,468 Hold your breath. 1354 01:16:40,721 --> 01:16:42,257 He has his ass open. 1355 01:16:42,515 --> 01:16:45,178 Are you stupid? What about him? 1356 01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:48,518 Sorry, but under emotional pressure 1357 01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:50,307 more than ever. 1358 01:16:50,481 --> 01:16:51,938 I can not help it. 1359 01:16:52,191 --> 01:16:54,649 Fuck it. Pull yourself together. 1360 01:16:54,902 --> 01:16:57,394 (wild babble of voices) 1361 01:16:59,365 --> 01:17:00,731 Silence. 1362 01:17:07,039 --> 01:17:08,530 Friedrichs. 1363 01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:10,664 Farting in a submarine. 1364 01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:13,831 You should be court-martialed for that. 1365 01:17:15,005 --> 01:17:16,496 (soft fart) 1366 01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:21,468 But maybe you have saved saved our lives. 1367 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:22,923 Huh? 1368 01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:26,298 What are farts made of, 1 WHERE? 1369 01:17:27,935 --> 01:17:31,554 Uh, from nitrogen, from carbon dioxide and... methane. 1370 01:17:31,814 --> 01:17:34,352 Correct. And what is methane, Fischer? 1371 01:17:35,776 --> 01:17:37,563 - A propellant gas? - Exactly. 1372 01:17:38,779 --> 01:17:42,989 And what are we missing in the diving cells, so that we can blow? 1373 01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:45,655 (hopeful music) 1374 01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:51,828 So, Friedrichs. 1375 01:17:52,626 --> 01:17:55,164 You first take a calm breath. 1376 01:17:55,421 --> 01:17:56,787 - Smutje? - Kaleun? 1377 01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:58,583 - How much sauerkraut? - 20 cans. 1378 01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:00,673 Excellent. Legumes? 1379 01:18:00,926 --> 01:18:03,714 40 cans of red lentils, 60 cans of peas 1380 01:18:03,888 --> 01:18:06,426 and 20 cans of beans in tomato sauce. 1381 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,299 - Very good. Open. All of them. - Yes. 1382 01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:10,967 Come here. 1383 01:18:12,062 --> 01:18:13,143 Stands up. 1384 01:18:13,397 --> 01:18:16,981 Mr. Kaleun, I still have eight packs of Iranian figs. 1385 01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:19,268 I make available of course. 1386 01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,733 Go. You know what to do. 1387 01:18:22,907 --> 01:18:25,194 Grab the spoons and distribute in the boat. 1388 01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:28,826 - Ten in front, five in back. - (Sailors) Yes, sir. 1389 01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:32,580 Today we do not die, men. Not today. 1390 01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:34,449 (heroic music) 1391 01:18:34,710 --> 01:18:36,292 (Sailor) Faster. 1392 01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:39,705 (Didn't you hear what Kaleun said? what the Kaleun said? 1393 01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:44,008 Go on, go on! 1394 01:18:49,433 --> 01:18:50,674 Do not stop. 1395 01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:53,969 Next! 1396 01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:55,971 Faster! Faster! 1397 01:19:01,237 --> 01:19:03,570 So, and now: Farting. 1398 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:05,901 Everything out that doesn't pay rent. 1399 01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:07,274 (Smutje) Let's go! 1400 01:19:07,451 --> 01:19:10,910 (several farts of various length and consistency) 1401 01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:12,696 (Kaleun) That's it. Next. 1402 01:19:12,957 --> 01:19:15,574 Blow us from this godforsaken rock. 1403 01:19:15,834 --> 01:19:17,826 (they continue farting) 1404 01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:27,670 (triumphant music) 1405 01:19:38,941 --> 01:19:40,603 I have earned them. 1406 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,566 (sailors) No! 1407 01:19:48,409 --> 01:19:50,901 And from this example you can see, 1408 01:19:51,078 --> 01:19:54,697 why we humans have become the dominant species. 1409 01:19:55,582 --> 01:19:58,575 If the situation seems still so hopeless, 1410 01:19:58,752 --> 01:20:01,711 finds our extremely highly developed brain 1411 01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:04,088 always a creative solution. 1412 01:20:04,842 --> 01:20:06,674 And since we started with nuclear fission 1413 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:10,554 an almost have an almost inexhaustible source of energy, 1414 01:20:10,723 --> 01:20:15,093 nothing stands in the way of our expansion nothing more stands in the way of our expansion in the universe. 1415 01:20:16,812 --> 01:20:19,725 Well, muchachos. Dress warmly. 1416 01:20:19,898 --> 01:20:21,514 We are coming. 1417 01:20:25,070 --> 01:20:27,813 Oops. Well, there's always a little shrinkage. 1418 01:20:29,241 --> 01:20:32,029 And vice versa you can us also like times 1419 01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:34,778 for a mulled wine and speculoos. 1420 01:20:34,955 --> 01:20:37,413 Preferably today. Because with us... 1421 01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,324 (somber music) 1422 01:20:43,881 --> 01:20:45,873 (menacing music) 1423 01:21:10,282 --> 01:21:13,616 (Dr. Friedl) Conversely, you are welcome to us also gladly times 1424 01:21:13,786 --> 01:21:16,620 for a mulled wine and speculoos. 1425 01:21:17,247 --> 01:21:19,830 Best today, because with us... 1426 01:21:22,461 --> 01:21:25,499 is Christmas party today! 1427 01:21:25,672 --> 01:21:28,415 (laughter) (Cheering and applause) 1428 01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:34,629 (Bravo! 1429 01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:46,775 - This is madness. - Absolute madness. 1430 01:21:46,944 --> 01:21:48,981 - You were good. - You too. 1431 01:21:55,244 --> 01:21:59,614 Dear NASA employees, I hope, our little Christmas movie 1432 01:21:59,790 --> 01:22:02,703 was as much fun for you to see as we had fun making it. 1433 01:22:02,876 --> 01:22:05,243 A lot of heart and soul goes into it. 1434 01:22:06,004 --> 01:22:09,122 And honestly also a considerable part 1435 01:22:09,299 --> 01:22:11,416 of our budget for next year. 1436 01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:14,336 The taxpayer does not have to know. 1437 01:22:14,513 --> 01:22:16,379 (laughter) 1438 01:22:17,015 --> 01:22:18,927 Thanks to... Thanks to your commitment 1439 01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:21,476 and your talent 1440 01:22:21,603 --> 01:22:25,893 Voyager Il" is ready for launch and can take off in a few weeks. 1441 01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:30,060 But I would say, then rather with the real Golden Record. 1442 01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:32,650 (frenetic cheering and applause) 1443 01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:45,246 To each of you again thank you and have a great Christmas party. 1444 01:22:45,419 --> 01:22:48,002 And in this sense: Ho, ho, ho! 1445 01:22:48,255 --> 01:22:50,212 (all) Ho, ho, ho! 1446 01:22:50,466 --> 01:22:52,799 (Jingle Bells is playing) 1447 01:22:56,722 --> 01:22:58,930 Jessica. Jessica. 1448 01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:01,216 Would you be so kind and come? 1449 01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:06,184 Bring the Golden Record carefully into the hangar. 1450 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:09,899 - I have to take care of the guests. - For all I care. 1451 01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:14,237 Oh, and the Christmas movie you put on my desk. 1452 01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:18,400 But very important: Do not confuse the two. 1453 01:23:18,660 --> 01:23:20,071 Clear? 1454 01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:21,986 It's not that hard now. 1455 01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:23,829 Well. All the better. 1456 01:23:23,999 --> 01:23:25,490 Okay. 1457 01:23:25,667 --> 01:23:28,876 (snappy Christmas music continues) 1458 01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:43,971 (ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, 1459 01:23:44,144 --> 01:23:48,138 please welcome Professor Doctor Doctor Greta Thunberg. 1460 01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:50,523 (Cheers and applause) 1461 01:23:50,692 --> 01:23:52,183 (man) Greta! 1462 01:23:53,779 --> 01:23:55,520 (Woman) You're the best! 1463 01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:58,239 How dare you? 1464 01:23:59,743 --> 01:24:02,656 You have stolen my dreams and my childhood 1465 01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:05,496 with your empty words. 1466 01:24:09,127 --> 01:24:12,291 - With this speech... - (computer voice) Translation on. 1467 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,877 With this speech many years ago 1468 01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:17,042 reproached the governments, 1469 01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:19,802 my generation to steal the future. 1470 01:24:19,972 --> 01:24:23,932 But what happened afterwards, I would never have thought possible. 1471 01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:28,557 Because almost all nations took radical steps, 1472 01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:31,723 to reduce the earth's CO2 emissions to reduce 1473 01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:34,267 and prevent global warming. 1474 01:24:34,903 --> 01:24:37,395 Therefore, I can proudly announce, 1475 01:24:37,656 --> 01:24:41,366 that 97 percent of all scientists agree, 1476 01:24:41,535 --> 01:24:44,118 that we have reached our goal, 1477 01:24:44,288 --> 01:24:46,280 avert climate change. 1478 01:24:47,791 --> 01:24:49,783 The future of our planet... 1479 01:24:50,377 --> 01:24:51,993 is saved. 1480 01:24:53,255 --> 01:24:54,837 (Cheers) 1481 01:24:57,342 --> 01:24:59,584 - (muffled thunder) - (man) What is that? 1482 01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:01,837 (crowd murmurs) 1483 01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:04,715 (dramatic music) 1484 01:25:12,816 --> 01:25:14,398 (people screech) 1485 01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:18,311 Oh fuck. 1486 01:25:19,156 --> 01:25:21,148 (ominous music) 1487 01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:30,665 (reverberating outcry) 1488 01:25:32,794 --> 01:25:34,786 (good-humored whistling) 1489 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:48,053 Dirt solar panels. 1490 01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:50,934 Do you screw a monkey with pliers. 1491 01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:54,893 The Russians have completely totally gnawed away. 1492 01:25:55,067 --> 01:25:59,482 They have to tell you you need special tools here. 1493 01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:02,068 I mean, that's what they said, Horst. 1494 01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,357 Yes, but once again properly. 1495 01:26:04,534 --> 01:26:06,742 Yeah, sure, that's right. 1496 01:26:06,912 --> 01:26:10,656 "Build a new ISS." They're good, those engineers. 1497 01:26:10,832 --> 01:26:13,791 (Horst) Det we charge everything nice extra. 1498 01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:16,832 - I have real power. - But not too scarce. 1499 01:26:17,089 --> 01:26:19,331 Wat do we take, Zero gravity impact? 1500 01:26:19,591 --> 01:26:21,583 So, that's at least... 1501 01:26:22,844 --> 01:26:24,506 Jürgen, pinch me. 1502 01:26:25,347 --> 01:26:27,179 So either I just 1503 01:26:27,349 --> 01:26:30,217 a maintained Oxygen undersupply 1504 01:26:30,394 --> 01:26:32,886 or there floats the Brandenburg Gate floats by. 1505 01:26:33,063 --> 01:26:35,976 What? Det is in Berlin. 1506 01:26:36,149 --> 01:26:37,640 On Earth. 1507 01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:41,937 Speaking of earth, where is it anyway? 1508 01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,610 (sinister music) 1509 01:26:44,783 --> 01:26:49,619 Jürgen, our warehouse in Wilmersdorf, the large propane cylinder, 1510 01:26:49,788 --> 01:26:51,996 did you close them properly? 1511 01:26:52,165 --> 01:26:55,829 (Jürgen) Na sichi. By the book, counterclockwise. 1512 01:26:56,002 --> 01:26:58,119 (Horst) What, against? Not with? 1513 01:26:58,296 --> 01:27:01,755 - (Jürgen) No, with is up. - No, up is against. 1514 01:27:01,925 --> 01:27:05,134 - On is against? - Since when is on against? 1515 01:27:05,303 --> 01:27:07,340 (Jürgen) On is closed. With is against. 1516 01:27:07,514 --> 01:27:09,301 (Horst) What is what? 1517 01:27:09,474 --> 01:27:11,136 (Jürgen) So I'm out. 1518 01:27:11,309 --> 01:27:13,426 (groovy music) 1519 01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:16,270 - We have played through the earth - All perished 1520 01:27:16,523 --> 01:27:19,015 - Only squinted at the profit - Maggots in bacon 1521 01:27:19,276 --> 01:27:21,984 - Mankind since Genesis - Everything broken 1522 01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:24,775 - Eiffel Tower, Acropolis - Ash and rubble 1523 01:27:25,031 --> 01:27:28,115 - UN Charter, Human Rights - Away from the window 1524 01:27:28,368 --> 01:27:30,860 - Torah, bible, smut books - Yesterday's snow 1525 01:27:31,121 --> 01:27:33,454 - Animals, plants, worms, beetles - All gone 1526 01:27:33,707 --> 01:27:36,450 - Life since Adam and Eve - Apple Z. 1527 01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:39,209 No! 1528 01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:41,830 - Bye, bye - Bye, bye 1529 01:27:42,090 --> 01:27:44,582 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1530 01:27:44,843 --> 01:27:47,711 The party is over And for tomorrow it looks bad 1531 01:27:47,971 --> 01:27:50,805 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1532 01:27:51,057 --> 01:27:53,140 - Bye, bye - Bye, bye 1533 01:27:53,393 --> 01:27:55,806 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1534 01:27:56,062 --> 01:27:59,226 The party is over For tomorrow it looks dreary 1535 01:27:59,483 --> 01:28:02,976 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1536 01:28:05,739 --> 01:28:08,231 - All the great work of man - We have screwed up 1537 01:28:08,492 --> 01:28:11,360 - Himalayas and Prenzlberg - Only dust 1538 01:28:11,620 --> 01:28:13,953 - Where did sweet Bodo go? - Filleted 1539 01:28:14,206 --> 01:28:16,949 - What still makes sense at all? - Complicated 1540 01:28:17,209 --> 01:28:19,792 - The villages and metropolises - Flattened 1541 01:28:20,045 --> 01:28:23,288 - Poets, thinkers, Dieter Bohlen - Shift in the shaft 1542 01:28:23,548 --> 01:28:25,665 - New York, Rio, Bielefeld - Knocked out 1543 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:28,509 - Our little beautiful world? - Space junk 1544 01:28:29,554 --> 01:28:31,261 - Are you with me? - (Cheers) 1545 01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:32,221 Hi there. 1546 01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:34,215 - Who is too big? - His penis. 1547 01:28:34,476 --> 01:28:35,887 Quite a hummer. 1548 01:28:36,144 --> 01:28:37,806 - Say that again. - Valhalla! 1549 01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:40,180 Are you guys out of your minds? 1550 01:28:40,440 --> 01:28:41,521 Just kidding. 1551 01:28:42,025 --> 01:28:43,482 It's meant nicely. 1552 01:28:43,735 --> 01:28:45,146 Kiss my ass! 1553 01:28:45,403 --> 01:28:46,393 No! 1554 01:28:46,571 --> 01:28:47,778 Gerhard. 1555 01:28:48,031 --> 01:28:49,363 You ass... 1556 01:28:50,283 --> 01:28:51,273 Merde. 1557 01:28:52,118 --> 01:28:53,700 - Bye, bye - Bye, bye 1558 01:28:53,954 --> 01:28:56,947 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1559 01:28:57,207 --> 01:29:00,075 The party is over For tomorrow it looks bad 1560 01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:03,373 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1561 01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:05,622 - Bye, bye - Bye, bye 1562 01:29:05,882 --> 01:29:08,499 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1563 01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:11,594 The party is over For tomorrow it looks dreary 1564 01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:14,681 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1565 01:29:14,933 --> 01:29:17,550 We wanted Maldives with 'm cruise ship 1566 01:29:17,811 --> 01:29:20,428 Everyday Three times a meat dish 1567 01:29:20,689 --> 01:29:23,352 We never got enough Of this nice shit 1568 01:29:23,608 --> 01:29:26,066 Kim Dotcom was against us A lightweight 1569 01:29:26,319 --> 01:29:29,062 Who could have guessed that humanity Would go broke so quickly? 1570 01:29:29,322 --> 01:29:31,985 That the idea of "keep growing" sucks? 1571 01:29:32,242 --> 01:29:34,734 Mother Earth after the party here is a corpse? 1572 01:29:34,995 --> 01:29:38,329 So we wave one last time From the ghost ship 1573 01:29:38,582 --> 01:29:39,868 Ghost ship 1574 01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:41,457 Bye, bye 1575 01:29:41,710 --> 01:29:44,703 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1576 01:29:44,963 --> 01:29:47,797 The party is over For tomorrow it looks bad 1577 01:29:48,049 --> 01:29:50,837 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1578 01:29:51,094 --> 01:29:53,632 - Bye, bye - Bye, bye 1579 01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:56,222 - The party is over - Bye, bye 1580 01:29:56,474 --> 01:29:59,217 The party is over For tomorrow it looks dreary 1581 01:29:59,477 --> 01:30:02,390 The game is over The last one turns off the light 1582 01:30:03,607 --> 01:30:05,894 The last one turns off the light 1583 01:30:06,526 --> 01:30:09,314 The last one turns off the light 1584 01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:11,233 For tomorrow it looks bad 1585 01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:14,357 The game is over The last one turns off the sun 1586 01:30:15,160 --> 01:30:17,652 The last one turns off the light 1587 01:30:17,913 --> 01:30:20,405 The last one turns off the light 1588 01:30:20,665 --> 01:30:22,497 For tomorrow it looks bleak 1589 01:30:22,667 --> 01:30:25,455 The game is over The last one turns off the sun 1590 01:30:25,712 --> 01:30:28,500 (Screech, several bangs) 1591 01:30:31,801 --> 01:30:33,793 (loose music) 1592 01:30:43,313 --> 01:30:47,148 This is like Dr.BEST. I feel like Dr.BEST. 1593 01:30:48,401 --> 01:30:49,892 From Freyend... 1594 01:30:51,237 --> 01:30:52,978 None of this about this. 1595 01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:57,450 - (von Freyend) Of course. - Please what? 1596 01:30:57,619 --> 01:30:59,360 It can happen to anyone. 1597 01:30:59,537 --> 01:31:03,531 No problem, that can happen happen to anyone. It can happen to anyone. 1598 01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:07,710 Because he can never be sure that all resisters... 1599 01:31:07,963 --> 01:31:10,956 That all resisters enthusiastically... 1600 01:31:11,883 --> 01:31:14,546 Are you guys up for some lexical... 1601 01:31:14,803 --> 01:31:18,217 Lexical semantics of the... 1602 01:31:18,473 --> 01:31:21,887 Lexical semantics of the... 1603 01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:23,176 The what? 1604 01:31:23,436 --> 01:31:26,895 Semantics of... Son of a bitch! 1605 01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:30,604 I can't get this sentence over my lips. 1606 01:31:30,860 --> 01:31:33,944 I have contact with Lyudmila... Pavlchickadida. 1607 01:31:34,114 --> 01:31:35,321 What is her name exactly? 1608 01:31:35,573 --> 01:31:37,530 Pavlitch... Pa... 1609 01:31:37,784 --> 01:31:39,741 Her name is Pavlochenko, too, isn't it? 1610 01:31:39,911 --> 01:31:42,198 Ah, Pavli... I don't give a shit. 1611 01:31:42,872 --> 01:31:45,455 ...Lyudmila Pavlochenko contacted. 1612 01:31:46,292 --> 01:31:49,626 - (soft giggle) - What? 1613 01:31:49,879 --> 01:31:53,543 Gentlemen, may I present my niece Jessica, 1614 01:31:53,717 --> 01:31:55,504 who today had their taster... 1615 01:31:56,094 --> 01:31:57,210 I'll be back. 1616 01:32:01,975 --> 01:32:05,514 Look what a silly silly flat forehead they have. 1617 01:32:05,645 --> 01:32:08,137 And your micro cable is also still hanging out. 1618 01:32:09,607 --> 01:32:14,022 We are a people from the north in search of warmer areas. 1619 01:32:14,195 --> 01:32:15,857 (she coughs) 1620 01:32:16,031 --> 01:32:17,988 I always have a cough. 1621 01:32:18,241 --> 01:32:19,357 We play 1622 01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:24,620 pointed stone, blunt stone, round stone, flat stone. 1623 01:32:24,789 --> 01:32:27,532 We do it the way, the way we've always done it... 1624 01:32:28,209 --> 01:32:29,495 Where are the bricks? 1625 01:32:30,003 --> 01:32:32,711 - Hm, hm, hm. - (bang) 1626 01:32:34,841 --> 01:32:37,675 - Looks like we won. - Stop, fire. 1627 01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:39,051 It's burning. 1628 01:32:39,304 --> 01:32:43,048 People must be scared shitless in their pants with fear, 1629 01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:45,557 if they are the symbol of my sacrifice.... 1630 01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:48,060 Ah, again. Sorry. The hair. 1631 01:32:48,313 --> 01:32:51,021 40 cans of red lentils, 60 cans of young beans... 1632 01:32:51,191 --> 01:32:52,727 No. Peas. Fuck. 1633 01:32:52,901 --> 01:32:55,063 40 cans of red lentils, 60 cans of... 1634 01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:56,943 Ah, shit. Young peas. 1635 01:32:57,197 --> 01:32:59,280 I have earned it now. 1636 01:33:03,203 --> 01:33:04,239 Well. 1637 01:33:04,496 --> 01:33:06,783 But before that happens, 1638 01:33:06,956 --> 01:33:09,414 let's celebrate again a grande... grande... 1639 01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:11,450 I'm coming back in. 1640 01:33:11,711 --> 01:33:13,703 Det we charge everything extra. 1641 01:33:13,880 --> 01:33:16,668 I've got real power under the... (stutters) 1642 01:33:17,175 --> 01:33:21,510 But we are still allowed to Scots still the ears... 1643 01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:22,715 'scuse me. 1644 01:33:22,972 --> 01:33:25,430 ...someone's ears ...someone's ears... Shit. 1645 01:33:25,683 --> 01:33:27,219 Example. 1646 01:33:27,393 --> 01:33:29,726 If you have bitten off you bit someone's ears off... Shit. 1647 01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:34,440 So, this is now a really... really good example of the... 1648 01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:37,852 This is a good example of the... What is your name? 1649 01:33:38,029 --> 01:33:39,145 - Uwe. - From Uwe. 1650 01:33:39,405 --> 01:33:41,317 Well, what I mean by that is that you.... 1651 01:33:41,908 --> 01:33:44,400 I mean by that... I still do not know. 1652 01:33:44,661 --> 01:33:46,744 Who has never with naked ass in the moonlight 1653 01:33:46,913 --> 01:33:49,451 Nuns has drawn... Has loused. 1654 01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:53,417 Only who has never with naked ass in the moonlight... 1655 01:33:54,337 --> 01:33:56,875 Who has never with naked ass in the moonlight 1656 01:33:57,048 --> 01:33:58,880 Nuns lusted, the... 1657 01:33:59,050 --> 01:34:01,212 He rarely knits big cookies. Yes. 1658 01:34:01,469 --> 01:34:05,008 Who has never with naked ass has licked nuns in the moonlight, 1659 01:34:05,181 --> 01:34:07,969 who also rarely knits large buttons. 1660 01:34:09,477 --> 01:34:10,513 Cookies. 1661 01:34:10,728 --> 01:34:13,766 Thank you, that's it for today. Come home well. 1662 01:34:14,941 --> 01:34:18,400 I am the Louis X-V-I. And I sat fat on the throne 1663 01:34:18,570 --> 01:34:21,938 Now it goes splatter With this revolution 1664 01:34:22,115 --> 01:34:25,529 A "the device" that wants That you put body parts in there 1665 01:34:25,702 --> 01:34:29,070 All at once six kilos lighter What a horny effect 1666 01:34:29,247 --> 01:34:31,239 With my own head Play soccer 1667 01:34:31,416 --> 01:34:32,532 That would be a gag 1668 01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:35,998 And this disgusting acne Would then also finally gone 1669 01:34:36,171 --> 01:34:40,541 So if you need someone Quasi as a research object 1670 01:34:40,717 --> 01:34:43,130 (solemn orchestral music) 1671 01:34:49,267 --> 01:34:55,480 And when the blade falls 1672 01:34:56,566 --> 01:35:01,061 The world pauses briefly 1673 01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:05,068 Then butterflies fly 1674 01:35:05,241 --> 01:35:10,737 Up to the firmament 1675 01:35:10,914 --> 01:35:15,875 When steel rushes through necks 1676 01:35:16,044 --> 01:35:20,334 This is the most beautiful sound in the world 1677 01:35:20,506 --> 01:35:23,715 Look, a dick tent 1678 01:35:24,427 --> 01:35:28,011 When the blade... 1679 01:35:29,098 --> 01:35:30,964 falls 1680 01:35:31,142 --> 01:35:37,514 The blade falls!