1 00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:02,961 [TV static drones] 2 00:00:03,043 --> 00:00:06,043 [bright tone] 3 00:00:14,543 --> 00:00:17,252 [unintelligible chatter] 4 00:00:17,335 --> 00:00:19,210 - Grandma. Grandma. 5 00:00:19,293 --> 00:00:21,752 [chatter continues] 6 00:00:25,794 --> 00:00:27,794 - Hey, Soph. 7 00:00:27,877 --> 00:00:29,794 Sophie. Over here. 8 00:00:29,877 --> 00:00:31,460 - What? - Hi. 9 00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:32,669 - Hi. 10 00:00:32,752 --> 00:00:34,126 - [laughs] - Hi. 11 00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:37,710 - Sophie's favorite is definitely "Twist and Shout." 12 00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:40,002 - Every horrible day in history 13 00:00:40,085 --> 00:00:42,126 has a much happier day before it. 14 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,835 - Wow. 15 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,835 [laughter] 16 00:00:45,919 --> 00:00:47,669 - This was ours. 17 00:00:47,752 --> 00:00:49,794 Halloween, 2006. 18 00:00:49,877 --> 00:00:52,002 - Go on, Soph. - It's okay. 19 00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:54,502 [people cheer] 20 00:00:54,585 --> 00:00:57,002 [dramatic music] 21 00:00:57,085 --> 00:01:00,043 [unintelligible chatter, laughter] 22 00:01:02,418 --> 00:01:06,585 - I went to bed that night the luckiest guy alive. 23 00:01:06,669 --> 00:01:07,752 By the next night, I was living 24 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,460 the worst nightmare imaginable. 25 00:01:10,543 --> 00:01:12,085 - Police in Manhattan tonight are investigating 26 00:01:12,168 --> 00:01:14,585 the mysterious death of a 40-year-old actress. 27 00:01:14,669 --> 00:01:16,293 Adrienne Shelly was found dead 28 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,627 in her West Village office last night. 29 00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:21,377 It was Shelly's husband, Andy Ostroy, who found her. 30 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,418 - The actress, found hanging in a bathroom 31 00:01:23,502 --> 00:01:26,752 of her Manhattan office, likely committed suicide. 32 00:01:27,627 --> 00:01:32,043 Shelly leaves behind a three-year-old daughter. 33 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,377 - Oh, my God. Look at you. 34 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,210 You look drunk. Did you drink? 35 00:01:37,293 --> 00:01:39,543 - There was no way Adrienne killed herself. 36 00:01:39,627 --> 00:01:41,961 - [gasps] Daddy! 37 00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:45,877 - Suicide simply wasn't possible. 38 00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:48,502 She was the happiest I'd ever seen her. 39 00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,752 [Sara Bareilles' "Soft Place to Land"] 40 00:01:50,835 --> 00:01:52,168 I set out on a journey to find out 41 00:01:52,252 --> 00:01:54,168 what really happened that day 42 00:01:54,252 --> 00:01:57,168 and to make sure Adrienne would never be forgotten, 43 00:01:57,252 --> 00:01:58,961 especially for Sophie. 44 00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:03,961 - Sometimes I still see her 45 00:02:04,043 --> 00:02:09,293 My mother, the dreamer 46 00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:14,085 She'd say, "Nothing's impossible 47 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:18,794 Child" 48 00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:21,752 - Cut! [laughter] 49 00:02:21,835 --> 00:02:24,043 - And know that you need them 50 00:02:24,126 --> 00:02:30,877 When your breaking point's all that you have 51 00:02:30,961 --> 00:02:34,585 A dream is a soft place 52 00:02:34,669 --> 00:02:36,710 To land 53 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:44,377 Sugar, butter 54 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,877 Flour 55 00:02:51,752 --> 00:02:54,168 [horns honking] 56 00:02:54,252 --> 00:02:57,252 [unintelligible chatter] 57 00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:02,252 [music from "Waitress" playing over speakers] 58 00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:14,669 - So this whole area, when you come here, 59 00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:17,418 it just feels like "Waitress" headquarters. 60 00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:19,794 I love the success of it and what it means for her 61 00:03:19,877 --> 00:03:21,961 and her legacy. 62 00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:24,919 But then I'm just immediately transported to, 63 00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,252 she's not here to see it, 64 00:03:26,335 --> 00:03:29,335 she's not here to experience it. 65 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,210 I'm making a documentary about Adrienne Shelly. 66 00:03:31,293 --> 00:03:33,126 Do you know who she is? 67 00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:35,502 - Uh, I can see her name right there. 68 00:03:35,585 --> 00:03:39,335 Uh, it's based upon the mo-- yes, that's all I know. 69 00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:40,710 - If I did that, do you know who she is? 70 00:03:40,794 --> 00:03:42,335 - No, I don't. - Do you know who she is? 71 00:03:42,418 --> 00:03:43,460 - I do not. 72 00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:46,002 - No? - Um...no. 73 00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:48,002 - Many people who come to see the show don't-- 74 00:03:48,085 --> 00:03:49,669 just don't know who Adrienne is. 75 00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:53,460 How she created this story that has this life, 76 00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:56,919 this amazing life on Broadway, 12 years later, 77 00:03:57,002 --> 00:03:58,293 and they don't know who she is. 78 00:03:58,377 --> 00:04:02,002 That to me is--is-- is profoundly sad. 79 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,669 - I wrote "Waitress" when I was 80 00:04:05,752 --> 00:04:07,543 about eight months pregnant with Sophie. 81 00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:09,210 And I was really scared about having a baby. 82 00:04:09,293 --> 00:04:11,377 I just couldn't imagine what my life was gonna be 83 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,418 after I had a baby; I thought it was gonna change 84 00:04:13,502 --> 00:04:14,919 so drastically that I wasn't even 85 00:04:15,002 --> 00:04:16,335 gonna recognize myself anymore. 86 00:04:16,418 --> 00:04:17,669 I was terrified. 87 00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:20,961 The actual fear of how your life is going to change 88 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,210 is not spoken about, 89 00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:26,210 so I--I wanted to write a movie about those fears 90 00:04:26,293 --> 00:04:28,543 and, you know, give those fears a voice. 91 00:04:28,627 --> 00:04:30,418 - I seem to be pregnant. - Good. 92 00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:32,002 Good for you. Congratulations. 93 00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:33,627 - Thanks, but I'm not so happy about it 94 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:35,210 like everybody else might be. 95 00:04:35,293 --> 00:04:37,335 I'm having the baby, and that's that. 96 00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:39,585 - But I also knew that, you know, 97 00:04:39,669 --> 00:04:41,543 when you actually have the child 98 00:04:41,627 --> 00:04:44,669 that this other kind of love probably kicks in 99 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:47,627 that you can't even imagine, which is true. 100 00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:51,710 It's a complete, utter, unconditional kind of love, 101 00:04:51,794 --> 00:04:55,252 and it does change your life in a--in a beautiful way. 102 00:04:55,335 --> 00:04:58,252 And it's--it is a love letter to my--to my baby. 103 00:04:58,335 --> 00:05:00,835 [soft music] 104 00:05:00,919 --> 00:05:03,543 - The first page or two was the opening sequence, 105 00:05:03,627 --> 00:05:05,794 making the pies and bread sequence. 106 00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:08,085 And I was like, "Yeah, you got me." 107 00:05:08,168 --> 00:05:10,085 I loved it. 108 00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:13,126 - "Earl murders me 'cause I'm havin' an affair" pie. 109 00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:14,877 You smash blackberries and raspberries 110 00:05:14,961 --> 00:05:17,335 into a chocolate crust. 111 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,210 "I can't have no affair, because it's wrong 112 00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:21,877 and I don't want Earl to kill me" pie. 113 00:05:21,961 --> 00:05:25,002 Vanilla custard with banana. 114 00:05:25,085 --> 00:05:26,585 Hold the banana. 115 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:30,168 - I loved her sense of humor, her sensibility. 116 00:05:30,252 --> 00:05:34,585 For me to root for this adulterous affair 117 00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:38,126 throughout this entire script is such a feat. 118 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,627 - I'm married. You're married. 119 00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,418 I'm pregnant. You're my doctor. 120 00:05:41,502 --> 00:05:42,752 - Maybe we could have a coffee or something-- 121 00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,126 - I can't have coffee. 122 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,543 It's on the bad food list you gave me. 123 00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:47,126 What kind of doctor are you? 124 00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:50,210 - That balance is so tricky, because... 125 00:05:50,293 --> 00:05:51,418 - Sure. - You shouldn't-- 126 00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:52,794 you shouldn't kind of-- you shouldn't want... 127 00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:54,085 - Banging your gynecologist. - These people to be 128 00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:55,126 doing this--right I mean, it's like, 129 00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:56,293 there's nothing good about this, 130 00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:57,752 except it works. 131 00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,418 - Mark it. - Mark. 132 00:05:59,502 --> 00:06:00,961 - I loved the script immediately. 133 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:04,126 I mean, it's so fun and irreverent 134 00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:06,252 and true all at once. 135 00:06:06,335 --> 00:06:08,126 - Dawn, you're beautiful. 136 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:11,085 Your skin looks like a normal person's. 137 00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:12,669 - Thank you. 138 00:06:12,752 --> 00:06:14,043 - I thought she was really smart. 139 00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:16,043 I thought she was really pretty. 140 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,835 She was super ambitious, I felt, 141 00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:21,002 super clear about what she wanted. 142 00:06:21,085 --> 00:06:23,002 - She strikes me as a woman who was ahead of her time 143 00:06:23,085 --> 00:06:26,002 in terms of the kind of art she wanted to do 144 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:29,002 and the kind of subject matter she wanted to cover. 145 00:06:30,418 --> 00:06:31,835 - She's a real feminist icon to me. 146 00:06:31,919 --> 00:06:34,585 I really think of her that way, as being a real maverick. 147 00:06:34,669 --> 00:06:37,418 - I remember her in her wedding gown 148 00:06:37,502 --> 00:06:39,293 and, like, being in the scene 149 00:06:39,377 --> 00:06:40,794 and then going behind the monitors 150 00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:42,168 and then going back out in the scene, 151 00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:43,961 holding up her skirt when she ran. 152 00:06:44,043 --> 00:06:46,126 I mean, I think it's challenging anyway 153 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,460 to be in something that you're directing. 154 00:06:48,543 --> 00:06:54,293 But also being a new mom is pretty crazy. 155 00:06:54,377 --> 00:06:56,794 - You know, Adrienne was this small person 156 00:06:56,877 --> 00:06:58,043 walking around the set 157 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,502 but quietly powerful, 158 00:07:00,585 --> 00:07:01,919 because she knew exactly what she wanted, 159 00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:04,502 this was her project, and you listened. 160 00:07:04,585 --> 00:07:06,126 - I'm fine, Cal. We'll be right out! 161 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:09,335 - I wasn't surprised when I saw "Waitress" 162 00:07:09,418 --> 00:07:10,377 for the first time. 163 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,877 It just confirmed 164 00:07:11,961 --> 00:07:14,210 what I already knew to be true, 165 00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:17,919 and that was, she was a great director. 166 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,669 - I would've liked to have seen where that career went. 167 00:07:20,752 --> 00:07:26,293 I would've liked to have heard and seen more stories from... 168 00:07:26,377 --> 00:07:28,085 her vision. 169 00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:32,168 [baby fusses] 170 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,502 [baby cries] 171 00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:42,126 - If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands 172 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:45,252 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands 173 00:07:45,335 --> 00:07:48,085 - In hindsight, November 1st started out 174 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,627 in-- in a really fortunate way. 175 00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:52,752 I got to spend a lot of time with her that morning 176 00:07:52,835 --> 00:07:55,168 in a way that I normally wouldn't have. 177 00:07:58,168 --> 00:08:00,669 And I was really happy that day. 178 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:05,043 So we were together, uh, in the apartment 179 00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:08,210 till about, um-- 180 00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:10,002 till about 9:15. 181 00:08:10,085 --> 00:08:13,002 [somber music] 182 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,168 And I was gonna drop her at her office 183 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:25,210 on Abingdon Square. 184 00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,502 I remember watching her get out of the car 185 00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:30,126 and go into the building, 186 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,002 and I just watched her walk away into the building, 187 00:08:34,085 --> 00:08:35,835 you know, and that was the last time I ever saw her, 188 00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:37,585 you know. 189 00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:42,126 I went to my office. I was working all day. 190 00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:44,710 I had clients in from out of town. 191 00:08:44,794 --> 00:08:47,085 All day long, it was just radio silence. 192 00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:49,752 I couldn't get ahold of her through email, 193 00:08:49,835 --> 00:08:52,252 cell phone, landline. 194 00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,418 The nanny hadn't heard from her. 195 00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:56,919 Nobody was in contact with her, 196 00:08:57,002 --> 00:09:00,085 and that was incredibly atypical. 197 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:02,835 There's an intuition 198 00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:07,002 that something really awful has happened. 199 00:09:07,085 --> 00:09:11,043 A friend of mine and I were going to do an event together, 200 00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:12,835 and I said to him, you know, "We got to go downtown 201 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,669 "and check on Adrienne, because I haven't heard 202 00:09:14,752 --> 00:09:16,002 "from her all day, and I-- I just-- 203 00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:17,961 there's something that's just not right." 204 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:20,460 - You were definitely... 205 00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:22,168 wound a little tight on the way over-- 206 00:09:22,252 --> 00:09:24,002 on the drive over from the office. 207 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,794 And I was trying to calm you down, 208 00:09:26,877 --> 00:09:27,919 you know, trying to think of different scenarios 209 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,252 or reasons why you wouldn't have heard from her. 210 00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:33,293 And then we pulled in front of the bus stop, 211 00:09:33,377 --> 00:09:35,126 and I said, "Just leave the car running. 212 00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:36,460 I'll wait here." 213 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,502 [tense music] 214 00:09:41,752 --> 00:09:44,710 - She wasn't answering the intercom. 215 00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:47,669 Went up to the fourth floor, banged on the door, 216 00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,877 calling her name--nothing. 217 00:09:49,961 --> 00:09:53,043 And I try the door, and it just popped open. 218 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,752 And that's when the real panic set in. 219 00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:57,460 It was just palpable. 220 00:09:57,543 --> 00:10:01,168 It was just weird how the room was just still, 221 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:04,252 and CNN was on, and Wolf Blitzer was talking. 222 00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:07,710 But it was low, and you could just tell. 223 00:10:07,794 --> 00:10:10,043 It was like there was evil in that room. 224 00:10:10,126 --> 00:10:12,126 Really, like, that's what I felt. 225 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:15,835 I felt that there had been a monster in that place. 226 00:10:17,252 --> 00:10:21,126 - And my phone rings, and you said, 227 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,126 "Brian, get up here. Adrienne's dead." 228 00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:27,168 - I just remember thinking in that moment, like, 229 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,877 "Is-- is this really happening? 230 00:10:29,961 --> 00:10:31,502 This is not how it's supposed to"-- 231 00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:32,919 like, I was supposed to go there 232 00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:34,752 and find her, like, talking outside, 233 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,794 and, "Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry," like-- 234 00:10:37,877 --> 00:10:40,752 like, I wasn't supposed to find her dead. 235 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:50,293 - Someone had said, "Andy is, um, at the police station. 236 00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:52,543 They think that she had killed herself." 237 00:10:52,627 --> 00:10:55,085 I just remember in my-- in my mind, thinking... 238 00:10:56,794 --> 00:10:58,418 "Sophie. There's Sophie. 239 00:10:58,502 --> 00:11:00,210 She would never! Never." 240 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,710 And I remember thinking, "My mom! 241 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,710 She would never leave my mother." 242 00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,585 - This was the time of her life! 243 00:11:05,669 --> 00:11:06,710 This was it! 244 00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:10,585 This is what she waited her whole life to have. 245 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,335 And she's gonna kill herself? 246 00:11:13,543 --> 00:11:16,585 - Friday, I saw the "New York Post" 247 00:11:16,669 --> 00:11:18,794 and the story they had written. 248 00:11:18,877 --> 00:11:21,085 So I called up Sixth Precinct, 249 00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,252 and I asked to speak to the detective, 250 00:11:23,335 --> 00:11:25,043 and they told me he had gone for the weekend. 251 00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:26,293 I said, "That's fine, just give me someone else 252 00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:27,460 who's working the case." 253 00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:30,002 "There's nobody else working the case." 254 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:32,585 And he said, "Sorry, pal, 255 00:11:32,669 --> 00:11:34,418 "I know this is not what you want to hear, 256 00:11:34,502 --> 00:11:37,085 but as far as we're concerned, it's a suicide." 257 00:11:37,168 --> 00:11:38,710 It's almost like the grief 258 00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:40,418 and everything that I had been feeling 259 00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:42,085 just sort of, like, pshoo, 260 00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,293 just-- just moved away. 261 00:11:44,377 --> 00:11:45,919 And this other thing took over. 262 00:11:46,002 --> 00:11:49,085 this, like, combat mode of like, 263 00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,043 she's not here to fight for herself. 264 00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:52,335 I've gotta fight for her. 265 00:11:53,168 --> 00:11:55,710 My wife did not kill herself. 266 00:11:55,794 --> 00:11:58,377 - Andy Ostroy says his wife's death on Wednesday 267 00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,669 is suspicious and not a simple case of suicide, 268 00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:03,252 despite media headlines that proclaim 269 00:12:03,335 --> 00:12:06,335 that Adrienne Shelly, the beautiful blonde actress, 270 00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:08,961 took her own life inside apartment 47 271 00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:10,919 here in this Greenwich Village apartment building. 272 00:12:11,002 --> 00:12:13,794 - There are emails, phone conversations 273 00:12:13,877 --> 00:12:16,418 that took place almost up until the time of the-- 274 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:17,669 of the tragedy itself. 275 00:12:17,752 --> 00:12:19,543 She was making plans with our friends for the weekend, 276 00:12:19,627 --> 00:12:21,961 dropping off things to our daughter's school. 277 00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:26,293 That little girl has to grow up knowing the truth. 278 00:12:27,252 --> 00:12:29,752 Everything changed the next morning. 279 00:12:29,835 --> 00:12:32,377 I get a call from Detective Jimmy Piccione 280 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,085 of Manhattan South Homicide. 281 00:12:34,168 --> 00:12:36,293 "Can you come in and talk with us?" 282 00:12:36,377 --> 00:12:39,335 He showed me photos of her apartment, 283 00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:43,252 of her desk, of her purse, her computer. 284 00:12:43,335 --> 00:12:46,252 And then he showed me a picture of the knot. 285 00:12:46,335 --> 00:12:49,835 And he asked me if she knew how to make a--a knot like that. 286 00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,794 And I told him, uh, no-- 287 00:12:52,877 --> 00:12:54,669 and I got angry in that moment, 'cause I had-- 288 00:12:54,752 --> 00:12:56,168 and I said to him-- I flipped it back and said, 289 00:12:56,252 --> 00:12:58,543 "Do you know how to make a knot like this?" 290 00:12:58,627 --> 00:12:59,835 And he said, "No." 291 00:12:59,919 --> 00:13:02,168 That day, I also called Dr. Michael Baden, 292 00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:05,377 who's a world-renowned forensic pathologist, 293 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,585 so he was scheduled to do an autopsy 294 00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:08,835 the next day, Saturday. 295 00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:13,377 I remember getting the call from Baden that Saturday 296 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,585 and hearing him say, "She fought like an animal." 297 00:13:16,669 --> 00:13:19,293 - She had bruises on her body, bruises on her face, 298 00:13:19,377 --> 00:13:23,085 forehead, mostly left side of the face, 299 00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:27,210 and, um, inju-- injuries to her hands, 300 00:13:27,293 --> 00:13:30,293 uh, which would indicate a struggle. 301 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,877 We don't see that in suicides. 302 00:13:32,961 --> 00:13:35,418 - Everything I wanted so desperately 303 00:13:35,502 --> 00:13:37,252 was being given to me in that moment. 304 00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:40,126 Like, she didn't kill herself. Like, here it is. 305 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,502 Here's this-- here's some proof. 306 00:13:42,585 --> 00:13:44,377 And then just immediately, 307 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:47,877 I'm starting to envision what did happen. 308 00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:57,669 There she is. - Where? 309 00:13:57,752 --> 00:14:00,961 Oh. - Love that quote. 310 00:14:01,043 --> 00:14:04,460 - "Don't be afraid of dying. Be afraid of never living." 311 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:05,627 - True dat. 312 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:08,126 You're almost the same age as her here. 313 00:14:14,168 --> 00:14:17,961 Oh, Lennon, your mother loved John Lennon. 314 00:14:18,043 --> 00:14:20,835 What are you feeling as you're going through this stuff? 315 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:23,252 - It's interesting. 316 00:14:23,335 --> 00:14:27,085 Just, like, learning more about, like, who she was. 317 00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:28,919 - Look at that. What does that say? 318 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,126 Soph. - What is it? 319 00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:32,585 - "I hate camp. Take me home." 320 00:14:32,669 --> 00:14:33,543 - Oh-- oh. 321 00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:34,543 - Boy, that sounds familiar, huh? 322 00:14:34,627 --> 00:14:35,752 - Did she hate camp? 323 00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:37,377 [gasps] What? 324 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,418 - "Allison is my new, nice friend. 325 00:14:40,502 --> 00:14:41,835 She hates it here too." 326 00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:43,669 That's literally-- oh, my God. 327 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,168 - I've literally gotten that letter from you. 328 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,210 - Gotta take that home, Andy. 329 00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:50,168 - Oh, that's a beautiful face, Mrs. Levine. 330 00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:52,669 Do you have any tips on how other families could 331 00:14:52,752 --> 00:14:56,502 reach the level of intelligence that yours has? 332 00:14:56,585 --> 00:14:58,335 - [laughs] - Is that all you have to say? 333 00:14:58,418 --> 00:14:59,460 Okay. 334 00:14:59,543 --> 00:15:02,919 - The day she was born was beautiful. 335 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,377 She was so beautiful, that chubby little face, 336 00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:08,794 those cheeks, that little mouth. 337 00:15:08,877 --> 00:15:11,877 Beautiful eyes-- she was beautiful. 338 00:15:11,961 --> 00:15:15,794 And she looked exactly like Shelly, my first husband. 339 00:15:15,877 --> 00:15:18,335 The exact same face, so of course, 340 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,585 my husband was thrilled. 341 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,710 You know what? 342 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,835 She really knew what she wanted. 343 00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,085 From when she was five years old, 344 00:15:24,168 --> 00:15:26,168 when she was in kindergarten, "Guys and Dolls," 345 00:15:26,252 --> 00:15:27,377 that was the play. 346 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,835 It was so cute. 347 00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,168 Every year, they had plays, 348 00:15:30,252 --> 00:15:32,210 and she was always in everything. 349 00:15:32,293 --> 00:15:35,002 She always, always stood out. 350 00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:37,585 It was always Adrienne, like-- whew! 351 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:40,002 - My crib was actually in-- in Adrienne's room. 352 00:15:40,085 --> 00:15:42,002 I was actually one of her dolls. 353 00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:43,377 That's how she treated me. 354 00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,418 Adrienne used to like to dress me up. 355 00:15:45,502 --> 00:15:47,877 My father was still alive at the point, 356 00:15:47,961 --> 00:15:49,002 and I remember he was like, 357 00:15:49,085 --> 00:15:51,002 "What are you dressing him in that--in that crap?" 358 00:15:51,085 --> 00:15:53,168 Adrienne just said, "I don't know, it looks cute." 359 00:15:57,085 --> 00:16:01,752 - Adrienne had a lot of fear about dying young. 360 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,835 Shelly, whose name she took 361 00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:06,377 when she started working professionally, um, 362 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:08,460 when she was 12 years old and away at sleepaway camp, 363 00:16:08,543 --> 00:16:11,919 he died of a massive heart attack. 364 00:16:14,335 --> 00:16:17,418 Which left her with feelings of her own mortality, uh, 365 00:16:17,502 --> 00:16:19,961 of, you know, "Am I gonna die young? 366 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:21,961 "If I die young and I have a child, 367 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:23,335 what-- what does that do?" 368 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:29,210 When she was 12, that was the summer when Shelly died. 369 00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,293 - Yes. It was a horrible time. 370 00:16:31,377 --> 00:16:33,543 And I remember sitting on the bed with them 371 00:16:33,627 --> 00:16:36,043 and holding the three of them, and I said, 372 00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,502 "We're gonna get through it. I promise you-- 373 00:16:38,585 --> 00:16:41,335 I promise you we will get through it." 374 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,752 - This is an odd thing you and I have in common, 375 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:43,794 I just realized. 376 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,126 - What was that? What do we-- 377 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,961 - Telling little kids that... - Oh! 378 00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:47,961 - Mommy or Daddy's not coming home anymore. 379 00:16:48,043 --> 00:16:49,460 - Hello. Right. 380 00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:50,961 She went into a funk. - Uh-huh. 381 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:53,710 - She really did. She became very quiet. 382 00:16:54,543 --> 00:16:57,627 - "I wonder just how much of life is spent in mourning. 383 00:16:57,710 --> 00:17:00,585 "It seems I mourn daily over something or other. 384 00:17:00,669 --> 00:17:02,961 "Even when I am not mourning over a person, 385 00:17:03,043 --> 00:17:05,460 "I am mourning over my own inadequacies-- 386 00:17:05,543 --> 00:17:07,752 "my feeble height, my heavy thighs, 387 00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:10,543 my incessant fears, my habits." 388 00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,293 - I didn't know her when her father died. 389 00:17:12,377 --> 00:17:13,502 - Mm-hmm. - I remember 390 00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:16,085 we were in my house, and I don't remember exactly how 391 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,585 she started talking about him. 392 00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,794 She never talked about him, really. 393 00:17:19,877 --> 00:17:22,043 And she started crying. And I hugged her. 394 00:17:22,126 --> 00:17:24,502 And it was kind of just a moment where I just 395 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,543 held her and hugged her while she cried. 396 00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:28,168 And then she revealed to me after that 397 00:17:28,252 --> 00:17:30,502 that was the first time she cried to anybody... 398 00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:32,877 - Mm. - About him. 399 00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:35,335 And, um, well, we were already 16. 400 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,627 - Were there ever times when you just come in 401 00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:42,627 and you close the door and you cry? 402 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,210 - No. 403 00:17:45,293 --> 00:17:46,627 I haven't cried in a while. 404 00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,293 Like, I don't cry about it. - Mm-hmm. 405 00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:51,168 - I don't really show my emotions. 406 00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:52,335 - Mm-hmm. 407 00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:55,252 Do you ever worry that that's not healthy for you? 408 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:58,126 - Yeah. It's not. 409 00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,961 - How do you think it's not healthy? 410 00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:01,877 - 'Cause you need to let it out. 411 00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:04,752 I haven't had, like, a-- like, a cry... 412 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,835 - Mm-hmm. 413 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,210 - In, like, years. - Mm-hmm. 414 00:18:08,293 --> 00:18:10,418 - I don't even remember. 415 00:18:10,502 --> 00:18:12,252 - Whee! 416 00:18:12,335 --> 00:18:14,669 Whee! - Whoo! 417 00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,210 - Wanna sing the alphabet song with me? 418 00:18:16,293 --> 00:18:17,377 - Yes. - Okay. 419 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:22,085 both: A, B, C, D, E, F, G 420 00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,919 - I'd gone to a psychiatrist to... 421 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:26,543 find out how-- what do I say 422 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:30,126 to a kid who's not even three? 423 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,794 They can't really handle much, so it's just very specific, 424 00:18:33,877 --> 00:18:36,627 you know, "Mommy died. 425 00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:38,627 "Her body stopped working. 426 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,877 She's not coming home anymore." 427 00:18:41,752 --> 00:18:43,502 That's it. 428 00:18:43,585 --> 00:18:45,502 And so that's what I told her. 429 00:18:45,585 --> 00:18:48,460 And then I remember she walked over to the window, 430 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:52,418 and she just stared out the window, and I was beside her. 431 00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:53,877 She just... 432 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:59,752 Turned to me and said, "Mommy died. 433 00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:02,168 She's not coming back." 434 00:19:02,252 --> 00:19:06,543 Then I said, "Nope, she's not coming back." 435 00:19:06,627 --> 00:19:09,335 And she just stared right out the window. 436 00:19:11,669 --> 00:19:13,502 And that was it. 437 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:24,252 Over the years, Sophie and I had what I thought 438 00:19:24,335 --> 00:19:27,085 were incredibly deep conversations about Adrienne. 439 00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:29,835 I felt it was important in those moments 440 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,252 to capture them forever. 441 00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:35,877 So I copied them down verbatim. 442 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,460 - I really miss Mommy. 443 00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:40,627 - I know, sweetie. 444 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:41,961 What made you think of that just now? 445 00:19:42,043 --> 00:19:43,293 - I just miss being with her. 446 00:19:43,377 --> 00:19:45,418 It makes me cry. 447 00:19:45,502 --> 00:19:47,460 We used to do stuff together, and I miss her. 448 00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:49,460 - I know. I wish I could have saved her. 449 00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:51,710 It's so unfair. - Especially to me, 450 00:19:51,794 --> 00:19:54,418 because everybody else has a mommy, and I don't. 451 00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:58,085 I wonder what it's like to have a mom. 452 00:19:58,168 --> 00:20:01,043 [soft music] 453 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,877 - She was probably one of the most 454 00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:15,543 loyal friends I've ever had. 455 00:20:15,627 --> 00:20:19,252 She was fiercely loyal and supportive. 456 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,168 - Did Adrienne perform here? - No. 457 00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:23,669 I don't remember Adrienne here. - Yes, she did. 458 00:20:23,752 --> 00:20:24,669 - She did? - She did. 459 00:20:24,752 --> 00:20:25,669 - I thought it was the other theater. 460 00:20:25,752 --> 00:20:26,794 - No. She did--they did, um... 461 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,210 - She did here? - I'm gonna guess 462 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,669 it was "Pippin." 463 00:20:40,418 --> 00:20:42,460 - You got it? Let's see. 464 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,293 Oh, right. 465 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:47,502 - Did she call herself Adrienne Shelly in 1984? 466 00:20:47,585 --> 00:20:50,002 - Anytime she could use Shelly's name, she did. 467 00:20:50,085 --> 00:20:52,043 - Mm-hmm. 468 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,210 - Andy, do me a favor. - What? 469 00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:56,961 - Put your hand together with me here. 470 00:20:57,043 --> 00:20:59,877 Okay. It's for Sophie too. 471 00:20:59,961 --> 00:21:02,293 Love you, A. Love you. 472 00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:10,335 [gentle piano music playing] 473 00:21:10,418 --> 00:21:12,002 - She was great on the piano. 474 00:21:12,085 --> 00:21:13,377 She could play anything by ear. 475 00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,669 I don't remember her taking piano lessons. 476 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:18,002 She could just get on and play and sing. 477 00:21:18,085 --> 00:21:19,168 It was quite amazing. 478 00:21:19,252 --> 00:21:20,877 - And it's good to know 479 00:21:20,961 --> 00:21:26,543 My best friend has come home again 480 00:21:26,627 --> 00:21:29,335 - We met through our ninth grade chorus class. 481 00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:32,627 The teacher clearly recognized Adrienne's voice 482 00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,752 and gave her a solo. 483 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:38,252 And I remember hearing this voice-- 484 00:21:38,335 --> 00:21:42,085 like, she belted it, and, uh, it was unreal. 485 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:48,919 - Come in from the rain 486 00:21:49,669 --> 00:21:52,919 - That was really the first time where you could tell 487 00:21:53,002 --> 00:21:55,377 that this was something she was really serious about. 488 00:21:58,126 --> 00:22:00,794 - Um, Adrienne Lauren Levine. 489 00:22:00,877 --> 00:22:03,794 - We kept in touch all through college, 490 00:22:03,877 --> 00:22:06,919 even though we were, you know, in separate locations, 491 00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:08,377 and I actually remember, junior year, 492 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,043 she called me to tell me she was leaving college. 493 00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:13,919 She was running it by me before she had told her mom. 494 00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:15,669 - Really? - Yes. 495 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:16,961 - What was your an--uh... - She said-- 496 00:22:17,043 --> 00:22:19,126 - Advice? - She called me up, she says, 497 00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:20,794 "I think I wanna drop out of college 498 00:22:20,877 --> 00:22:22,293 "and move to New York and become an actress. 499 00:22:22,377 --> 00:22:24,252 What do you think?" 500 00:22:24,335 --> 00:22:26,293 So I said, "Oh-- well, if that's..." 501 00:22:26,377 --> 00:22:28,126 - Sounds logical. - "What you want to do." 502 00:22:28,210 --> 00:22:30,961 She's like, "Well, I-- I'm nervous to tell my mom." 503 00:22:31,043 --> 00:22:33,794 - And I said, "Oh, what are you talking about? 504 00:22:33,877 --> 00:22:35,835 You have one more year." 505 00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,919 "Ma, I wanna-- I know what I want. 506 00:22:38,002 --> 00:22:40,126 "It's-- it's such a calling for me. 507 00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:42,585 It's--it's-- it's my calling." 508 00:22:44,377 --> 00:22:46,252 - "Well, I'm doing it. 509 00:22:46,335 --> 00:22:48,126 "I'm leaving school. It's all done. 510 00:22:48,210 --> 00:22:51,085 "All of a sudden, I've taken a huge risk. 511 00:22:51,168 --> 00:22:53,418 "I face a new jungle now, with strange faces, 512 00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:58,293 situations, rejections, and joys I can't even imagine." 513 00:23:01,252 --> 00:23:04,877 "June 7, 1987. Happy June. 514 00:23:04,961 --> 00:23:07,502 "Happy month of my 21st year. 515 00:23:07,585 --> 00:23:09,168 "New York has given me much 516 00:23:09,252 --> 00:23:11,335 "in the four months I've lived here. 517 00:23:11,418 --> 00:23:14,502 "It has virtually ended the long depression sessions, 518 00:23:14,585 --> 00:23:17,835 "which were once a signature characteristic. 519 00:23:17,919 --> 00:23:19,794 "It has taught me a lot about myself 520 00:23:19,877 --> 00:23:23,460 that I wouldn't have learned, not for a while, without it." 521 00:23:23,543 --> 00:23:26,502 [soaring music] 522 00:23:30,585 --> 00:23:35,002 - She sent her headshot out to hundreds of people. 523 00:23:35,085 --> 00:23:37,961 One showed up and my office, and I liked it. 524 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:40,460 - She got the part right away. 525 00:23:40,543 --> 00:23:43,126 And I said, "Oh, we did right. We did right." 526 00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:46,543 - It happened quickly. 527 00:23:46,627 --> 00:23:50,335 Like, in no time, she was now the star 528 00:23:50,418 --> 00:23:55,085 of this indie cult film. 529 00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:57,585 - Adrienne was the first actress 530 00:23:57,669 --> 00:23:58,877 that I was asked to read with. 531 00:23:58,961 --> 00:24:00,669 Hal had already given me the role. 532 00:24:00,752 --> 00:24:02,710 - Hi. - Hello. 533 00:24:02,794 --> 00:24:04,669 - Can I help you find something? 534 00:24:04,752 --> 00:24:06,669 - This I remember more than anything. 535 00:24:06,752 --> 00:24:09,126 Her evaluating me. She doesn't have the role. 536 00:24:09,210 --> 00:24:11,085 Do you work here? - I happen to be a big fan 537 00:24:11,168 --> 00:24:12,835 of George Washington myself. 538 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:14,752 - Really? But she was just kind of 539 00:24:14,835 --> 00:24:16,835 giving me a-- you know, a once-over. 540 00:24:16,919 --> 00:24:18,835 - I can't help thinking that if he were alive today, 541 00:24:18,919 --> 00:24:20,794 doing the job he did then, 542 00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,627 leading that particular revolution, 543 00:24:22,710 --> 00:24:25,085 he'd be locked up or worse. 544 00:24:25,168 --> 00:24:26,377 - Yeah, she was a complete unicorn 545 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:27,418 as far as I was concerned. 546 00:24:27,502 --> 00:24:28,627 She scared me a little. 547 00:24:28,710 --> 00:24:31,752 Um, she said certain things to me that totally unnerved me. 548 00:24:31,835 --> 00:24:33,877 - All of them-- Franklin, Payne, Jefferson, 549 00:24:33,961 --> 00:24:35,252 they'd be executed. 550 00:24:35,335 --> 00:24:38,752 - Well, maybe not executed. - Oh, don't put it past people. 551 00:24:38,835 --> 00:24:41,252 - Not in a bad way, just made me think. 552 00:24:41,335 --> 00:24:43,418 [mellow guitar music] 553 00:24:43,502 --> 00:24:45,627 - I hardly remember directing her at all, 554 00:24:45,710 --> 00:24:47,377 because once I cast her, 555 00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:49,710 I just didn't have to worry about her at all. 556 00:24:49,794 --> 00:24:51,043 She always knew her lines. 557 00:24:51,126 --> 00:24:53,210 She was always funny in the right way. 558 00:24:53,293 --> 00:24:54,835 She was consistent. 559 00:24:54,919 --> 00:24:56,752 She was perfect for that role. 560 00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:01,877 The Toronto Film Festival selected it, 561 00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:03,502 and it was a big hit there, 562 00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,460 and that's where everything started. 563 00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:07,961 Miramax bought the rights to it. 564 00:25:08,043 --> 00:25:10,585 In that company was Harvey Weinstein. 565 00:25:10,669 --> 00:25:12,293 It's always an argument. 566 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:14,168 He wanted me to recut the film, 567 00:25:14,252 --> 00:25:19,252 particularly to add some degree of nudity with Adrienne. 568 00:25:19,335 --> 00:25:23,126 And I was like, "No. The film as it is, is fine." 569 00:25:23,210 --> 00:25:24,752 - Dad, give me $5. 570 00:25:24,835 --> 00:25:25,752 - Listen to me, young lady, 571 00:25:25,835 --> 00:25:27,418 I've had just about all I'm gonna take. 572 00:25:27,502 --> 00:25:29,835 - Mom, what's he talkin' about? Give me $5. 573 00:25:29,919 --> 00:25:32,418 Well, "The Unbelievable Truth" was my first film. 574 00:25:32,502 --> 00:25:35,043 And--and "Trust" was my second film. 575 00:25:36,877 --> 00:25:39,043 - Come back here a minute. 576 00:25:39,126 --> 00:25:42,919 - First one was so much easier for me to make, 577 00:25:43,002 --> 00:25:45,252 because it was closer to who I actually am. 578 00:25:46,627 --> 00:25:50,335 She's your typical pregnant high school teenager... 579 00:25:50,418 --> 00:25:53,585 - Whose baby? - Yours, you jerk! 580 00:25:53,669 --> 00:25:55,627 - Who accidentally kills her father 581 00:25:55,710 --> 00:25:57,335 in the first scene of the movie. 582 00:26:00,085 --> 00:26:01,502 - She seemed to be the centerpiece 583 00:26:01,585 --> 00:26:03,168 to a lot of Hal's films. 584 00:26:03,252 --> 00:26:06,168 I was like, "God, if--maybe she's his muse in a way." 585 00:26:06,252 --> 00:26:08,961 And there was something kind of ethereal about Adrienne. 586 00:26:09,043 --> 00:26:11,961 I mean, she looked like a doll. 587 00:26:12,043 --> 00:26:13,627 - It was just young people learning the ropes 588 00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:15,252 of being in the entertainment business 589 00:26:15,335 --> 00:26:16,961 and some of the uglier parts of it. 590 00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:19,502 And also very good parts too. 591 00:26:21,210 --> 00:26:23,961 By the time we arrived in Toronto 592 00:26:24,043 --> 00:26:27,377 for the opening night premiere of "Trust," 593 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:28,919 she was kind of a star. 594 00:26:29,002 --> 00:26:31,669 [Blondie's "Dreaming"] 595 00:26:55,210 --> 00:26:59,335 - When I met you in a restaurant 596 00:26:59,418 --> 00:27:00,669 - When you're starting out as an actor, 597 00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:03,669 the odds of something like what happened to Adrienne... 598 00:27:03,752 --> 00:27:04,877 - Right, she was, like, an overnight-- 599 00:27:04,961 --> 00:27:06,210 - Happening so, so fast-- yes. 600 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:10,210 And she was very conflicted about it as well, 601 00:27:10,293 --> 00:27:12,460 because it is overwhelming. 602 00:27:12,543 --> 00:27:14,919 I mean, suddenly she's on the cover of "Interview" magazine, 603 00:27:15,002 --> 00:27:18,752 and filmmakers are calling her, and she just-- 604 00:27:18,835 --> 00:27:21,252 I don't think she was prepared for how big-- 605 00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:24,377 I don't think anyone was--how big that film was going to be. 606 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:29,252 - Dreaming, dreaming 607 00:27:29,335 --> 00:27:32,877 - After we premiered "Trust," she immediately went to LA 608 00:27:32,961 --> 00:27:34,085 to do a movie. 609 00:27:34,168 --> 00:27:37,835 She was getting really good roles. 610 00:27:37,919 --> 00:27:40,877 - I really like it. - What? 611 00:27:40,961 --> 00:27:43,252 - Your work. 612 00:27:43,335 --> 00:27:46,502 Reminds me of a dream I once had. 613 00:27:47,961 --> 00:27:52,252 - Stephanie, that's just a blank canvas. 614 00:27:54,335 --> 00:27:55,877 - Yeah. 615 00:27:57,835 --> 00:28:00,627 - There was one-- some sort of glamorous opening 616 00:28:00,710 --> 00:28:02,335 that she was invited to, and she took us, 617 00:28:02,418 --> 00:28:03,877 and all of these people-- really, she was, like, 618 00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:05,961 their darling, and she really didn't want 619 00:28:06,043 --> 00:28:07,377 that much to do with it. 620 00:28:10,002 --> 00:28:12,377 - Hi, everybody. - She was a little dismissive 621 00:28:12,460 --> 00:28:15,002 of the movies she was making. 622 00:28:15,085 --> 00:28:16,377 They were a means to an end. 623 00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:18,418 - She did a lot of really crappy movies... 624 00:28:18,502 --> 00:28:20,085 - Yeah, yeah. - In the '90s. 625 00:28:20,168 --> 00:28:24,543 None of them really showcased who she was. 626 00:28:24,627 --> 00:28:26,210 - Well, a lot of times, they liked to showcase her 627 00:28:26,293 --> 00:28:27,252 as the sexpot. 628 00:28:27,335 --> 00:28:30,752 - Right. - And as sexy as Adrienne was, 629 00:28:30,835 --> 00:28:32,627 that's not her persona. 630 00:28:33,126 --> 00:28:37,961 - I have a--you know, a certain interest in self-respect 631 00:28:38,043 --> 00:28:43,002 that, uh, being an actor, there's a lot of, um, 632 00:28:43,085 --> 00:28:47,293 people who would like to squelch that. 633 00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:49,293 Like, I get a call in the car from my agent, 634 00:28:49,377 --> 00:28:51,835 and he's like, "Okay, listen. 635 00:28:51,919 --> 00:28:54,168 "Here's the thing that-- that's really important 636 00:28:54,252 --> 00:28:56,961 to these people is that you be fuckable." 637 00:28:57,043 --> 00:28:59,460 I get in the room, and there's these two great women, 638 00:28:59,543 --> 00:29:01,335 and they're so nice, and they're wonderful. 639 00:29:01,418 --> 00:29:03,627 And I'm like, "What, they don't care if I'm fuckable. 640 00:29:03,710 --> 00:29:05,627 They don't care," you know, and they're just friendly 641 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:08,835 and, "Oh, we love your work," and I'm like, "Oh, thanks." 642 00:29:08,919 --> 00:29:11,085 And then this man walks in. 643 00:29:11,168 --> 00:29:13,210 And I swear to you, 644 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,252 he looked like Mr. Potato Head. 645 00:29:15,335 --> 00:29:18,085 He walks in and he looks right at my tits. 646 00:29:18,168 --> 00:29:20,877 Not even--not even at my face. Just, like, right--and I'm-- 647 00:29:20,961 --> 00:29:24,877 and I saw in his face that there was no way 648 00:29:24,961 --> 00:29:28,043 that I was gonna get this part, because he didn't like my tits. 649 00:29:29,126 --> 00:29:33,710 I think I spent a lot of my 20s 650 00:29:33,794 --> 00:29:38,502 as if I were in some dark adventure of some kind, 651 00:29:38,585 --> 00:29:41,585 not really feeling myself alive. 652 00:29:41,669 --> 00:29:46,502 And I feel, like, a real desire to... 653 00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:52,168 not... live my life that way anymore. 654 00:29:52,252 --> 00:29:57,752 That I... live more consciously. 655 00:29:57,835 --> 00:29:59,752 - I got a call out of the blue that said, "Do you want to be 656 00:29:59,835 --> 00:30:01,585 in this theater company that I'm starting?" 657 00:30:01,669 --> 00:30:04,126 It was an unusual choice to suddenly deicide, 658 00:30:04,210 --> 00:30:06,418 "I want to do theater and I'm gonna start a theater company, 659 00:30:06,502 --> 00:30:08,919 and I'm gonna pay for it and produce it," and-- 660 00:30:09,002 --> 00:30:12,252 and she did, and-- and, um, we did this series 661 00:30:12,335 --> 00:30:14,669 of one-acts that we all wrote. 662 00:30:14,752 --> 00:30:16,710 [whimsical music] 663 00:30:16,794 --> 00:30:19,543 - "October 7, 1993. 664 00:30:19,627 --> 00:30:21,919 "I'm sitting in a diner freaked beyond belief 665 00:30:22,002 --> 00:30:25,877 "because 'Morgan Fitting In' is having a stage reading tonight, 666 00:30:25,961 --> 00:30:28,377 "and it is not very well cast. 667 00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:30,835 "Carla is just wrong, wrong, wrong. 668 00:30:30,919 --> 00:30:32,961 "A lot of people will be here. 669 00:30:33,043 --> 00:30:34,919 "People I don't want to fail in front of. 670 00:30:35,002 --> 00:30:37,669 "What have we learned here? The answer: 671 00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:39,961 "write it and direct it yourself. 672 00:30:40,043 --> 00:30:41,460 "You are too much of a control freak 673 00:30:41,543 --> 00:30:43,377 "for this ever to be pleasant. 674 00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:45,794 "So embrace the fact that you are a control freak, 675 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,293 "and control. 676 00:30:47,377 --> 00:30:49,543 "Amazing that you ever became an actress, 677 00:30:49,627 --> 00:30:51,502 "wherein people would want to control you. 678 00:30:51,585 --> 00:30:52,669 Weird." 679 00:30:52,752 --> 00:30:55,168 - I know these things. I'm a psychoanalyst. 680 00:30:55,252 --> 00:30:58,627 - You are not. - Am so, a psychoanalyst. 681 00:30:58,710 --> 00:31:02,460 I know everything about the human condition. 682 00:31:02,543 --> 00:31:05,002 - I remember... [laughs] 683 00:31:05,085 --> 00:31:08,460 Going to her door and dropping off food 684 00:31:08,543 --> 00:31:10,252 when she'd be writing a script, because-- 685 00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:12,794 and she would open the door just like this, 'cause, 686 00:31:12,877 --> 00:31:14,919 you know, maybe her place wasn't the neatest. 687 00:31:15,002 --> 00:31:17,377 - You know she was a little sloppy? 688 00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:20,085 [laughs] - Is that a serious question? 689 00:31:20,168 --> 00:31:21,627 - We weren't allowed in Adrienne's room. 690 00:31:21,710 --> 00:31:23,961 - Yeah--oh! That's funny. 691 00:31:24,043 --> 00:31:25,502 That--that's very funny. - Well, I wasn't allowed 692 00:31:25,585 --> 00:31:27,002 in Adrienne's apartment when I met her. 693 00:31:27,085 --> 00:31:28,168 - Yeah. - Literally. 694 00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:29,335 - Probably for the same reason. - For the same reason. 695 00:31:29,418 --> 00:31:31,502 And the crazy thing is, Sophie is exactly like her. 696 00:31:31,585 --> 00:31:33,794 - Oh, wow. - Literally. 697 00:31:33,877 --> 00:31:36,293 - She had this scheme once 698 00:31:36,377 --> 00:31:40,210 where she was gonna sell stuff on eBay 699 00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:43,460 that she, like, got in thrift stores 700 00:31:43,543 --> 00:31:44,585 and Goodwill and stuff. 701 00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:46,919 So on top of all the mess, 702 00:31:47,002 --> 00:31:48,293 now you walked in there, 703 00:31:48,377 --> 00:31:51,252 and her entire dining room was, like, lamps-- 704 00:31:51,335 --> 00:31:54,752 - Now she's a businesswoman. - Yeah, now she's a bus-- 705 00:31:54,835 --> 00:31:57,293 No, "I'm gonna sell these. I'm selling them on eBay." 706 00:31:57,377 --> 00:32:00,502 - A tornado of things every-- you don't even know 707 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,043 how things would--would get-- hanging off the ceiling. 708 00:32:03,126 --> 00:32:04,835 It was just everywhere. 709 00:32:04,919 --> 00:32:06,669 And it was great. It was great. 710 00:32:06,752 --> 00:32:08,961 I mean, a lot of creative people are messy. 711 00:32:09,043 --> 00:32:11,210 - Yeah. - She's, uh, not-- 712 00:32:11,293 --> 00:32:12,669 you know, she's an alien. 713 00:32:12,752 --> 00:32:14,627 - Right. 714 00:32:14,710 --> 00:32:17,710 - She was like an old lady in a hot chick's body. 715 00:32:17,794 --> 00:32:19,877 - That kind of personality 716 00:32:19,961 --> 00:32:23,210 that was sort of shut in for four days 717 00:32:23,293 --> 00:32:25,669 and really focused 718 00:32:25,752 --> 00:32:28,002 is not necessarily the same kind of person 719 00:32:28,085 --> 00:32:29,835 that's gonna be just schmoozing and schmoozing 720 00:32:29,919 --> 00:32:32,168 and just trying to always get a job. 721 00:32:32,252 --> 00:32:36,002 I think the visionary in her was actually an introvert. 722 00:32:36,085 --> 00:32:39,293 And it allowed her to really accomplish 723 00:32:39,377 --> 00:32:42,627 a lot in a very short period of time. 724 00:32:44,168 --> 00:32:48,126 - So then she did a reading of the first movie she made, 725 00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:50,585 not the shorts, but "Sudden Manhattan." 726 00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:52,252 - Mm-hmm. - And I mean, 727 00:32:52,335 --> 00:32:54,293 money wasn't coming through, and I said something 728 00:32:54,377 --> 00:32:55,877 like, "Well, you know, it's your first movie. 729 00:32:55,961 --> 00:32:57,126 "Like, maybe this'll be a sample. 730 00:32:57,210 --> 00:32:58,126 "This is your first screenplay. 731 00:32:58,210 --> 00:32:59,627 Like, the next one'll get made." 732 00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:00,919 And she just looked at me, and she was like, 733 00:33:01,002 --> 00:33:03,043 "I don't have that kind of time." 734 00:33:03,126 --> 00:33:06,043 [tense music] 735 00:33:17,961 --> 00:33:19,752 - I remember sitting with my friends Liz and Nathan. 736 00:33:19,835 --> 00:33:22,168 They had come in from Los Angeles. 737 00:33:22,252 --> 00:33:23,752 Liz was Adrienne's best friend. 738 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,835 Nathan was one of my best friends. 739 00:33:26,919 --> 00:33:29,335 They had a baby two days after we did. 740 00:33:29,418 --> 00:33:31,752 We were real close. 741 00:33:31,835 --> 00:33:33,293 - My phone rang, my cell phone rang. 742 00:33:33,377 --> 00:33:36,085 And, uh, I glanced at it, and it was you. 743 00:33:36,168 --> 00:33:37,418 And then you just went right into-- 744 00:33:37,502 --> 00:33:39,418 you said, "Listen, I've-- I've got terrible news, 745 00:33:39,502 --> 00:33:41,168 horrible news." 746 00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:43,460 Just like that, "Terrible news, horrible news. 747 00:33:43,543 --> 00:33:47,877 Adrienne, she's--she-- she died, she--she's dead." 748 00:33:49,335 --> 00:33:51,877 - I just remember I fell to the ground, 749 00:33:51,961 --> 00:33:54,752 and I started screaming. 750 00:33:54,835 --> 00:33:56,585 I mean, screaming to the point that, like, 751 00:33:56,669 --> 00:33:59,585 some neighbors said that they could hear me that night. 752 00:33:59,669 --> 00:34:01,293 - Wow. - Down the street. 753 00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:04,126 - We came to New York, um, 754 00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:05,794 and I remember when we were getting on the flight, 755 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,502 I was on the phone with you and you were--you know, 756 00:34:07,585 --> 00:34:09,710 you were in--you were in attack mode, you were in-- 757 00:34:09,794 --> 00:34:12,002 it was good to hear you-- 758 00:34:12,085 --> 00:34:13,835 at least you had that to focus on. 759 00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:15,627 It was time to go, it was, like, 2:00 in the morning, 760 00:34:15,710 --> 00:34:16,877 and we opened the door and we were heading out, 761 00:34:16,961 --> 00:34:19,669 and you stopped, you said, "You know what my dream is? 762 00:34:19,752 --> 00:34:23,627 That they call me and say, 'We've made an arrest.'" 763 00:34:27,085 --> 00:34:30,585 - And at 6:00 or 6:30 the next morning, 764 00:34:30,669 --> 00:34:33,710 I got a call from Detective Piccione. 765 00:34:33,794 --> 00:34:37,460 He said, "Andrew, can you come downstairs in ten minutes? 766 00:34:37,543 --> 00:34:38,794 We need to talk with you." 767 00:34:38,877 --> 00:34:41,961 And then one unmarked car pulled up. 768 00:34:43,335 --> 00:34:45,126 Uh, Jimmy and his partner got out 769 00:34:45,210 --> 00:34:48,710 and said, "Andrew, we arrested the guy who killed Adrienne." 770 00:34:51,460 --> 00:34:54,252 - Police now say the death of actress Adrienne Shelly 771 00:34:54,335 --> 00:34:56,543 was murder, not suicide. 772 00:34:56,627 --> 00:34:58,585 Now a construction worker is under arrest. 773 00:34:58,669 --> 00:35:01,043 - Diego Pillco confessed to the crime. 774 00:35:01,126 --> 00:35:02,710 Pillco had been renovating an apartment 775 00:35:02,794 --> 00:35:04,085 in the Greenwich Village building 776 00:35:04,168 --> 00:35:06,543 where the 40-year-old actress had her office. 777 00:35:06,627 --> 00:35:09,126 - Diego Pillco was arrested after police allegedly 778 00:35:09,210 --> 00:35:11,669 matched his sneaker footprint to one found 779 00:35:11,752 --> 00:35:13,835 in the bathtub where Shelly was found hanging 780 00:35:13,919 --> 00:35:16,585 from a bedsheet tied to the shower curtain rod. 781 00:35:16,669 --> 00:35:18,502 - My control over my body just left, 782 00:35:18,585 --> 00:35:20,335 and I just dropped to the floor, 783 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:22,961 and I started crying. 784 00:35:24,085 --> 00:35:26,794 Because it was everything I needed to hear. 785 00:35:30,794 --> 00:35:32,252 - Let's pretend Mommy's here. 786 00:35:32,335 --> 00:35:34,085 Hi, Mommy. 787 00:35:34,168 --> 00:35:35,585 - Mommy loved you very much. 788 00:35:35,669 --> 00:35:37,043 She didn't choose to leave us. 789 00:35:37,126 --> 00:35:39,293 She had an accident, and she died. 790 00:35:39,377 --> 00:35:40,919 - She peed in her pants? 791 00:35:41,002 --> 00:35:43,252 - No, a different kind of accident. 792 00:35:43,335 --> 00:35:45,418 - Mommy coming back soon? She's gonna get out 793 00:35:45,502 --> 00:35:47,377 of the elevator and knock on the door? 794 00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:48,752 - No. - Mommy come back 795 00:35:48,835 --> 00:35:50,210 when she's bigger and better? 796 00:35:50,293 --> 00:35:51,752 - No, Mommy wasn't sick. 797 00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:53,085 When you die, you don't come back. 798 00:35:53,168 --> 00:35:54,710 - She threw up and had a bellyache? 799 00:35:54,794 --> 00:35:56,502 - No. - What can we do for her? 800 00:35:56,585 --> 00:35:58,543 Give her chicken? Water? 801 00:35:58,627 --> 00:36:01,043 - No, there's nothing we can do for her now, sweetie. 802 00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:03,710 She's not coming back. 803 00:36:03,794 --> 00:36:06,335 I often think about what my life would've been like, 804 00:36:06,418 --> 00:36:07,418 how I would have handled it 805 00:36:07,502 --> 00:36:10,085 if I had a different family situation. 806 00:36:11,710 --> 00:36:13,835 - I just kept thinking over and over, 807 00:36:13,919 --> 00:36:15,835 "What is Sophie gonna do?" 808 00:36:15,919 --> 00:36:18,502 Like, that was just--"What's gonna happen with Sophie?" 809 00:36:18,585 --> 00:36:22,002 It was just-- it was like a dagger. 810 00:36:22,085 --> 00:36:24,460 - I remember Sean, the first thing he did 811 00:36:24,543 --> 00:36:26,460 was come down here to Sophie. 812 00:36:26,543 --> 00:36:30,002 And I've talked to him about it, and he-- 813 00:36:30,085 --> 00:36:32,919 he said wasn't even, like, a thought. 814 00:36:33,002 --> 00:36:36,085 He just--he knew he had to be with Sophie. 815 00:36:36,168 --> 00:36:40,543 - He was only... 13 at the time or 12. 816 00:36:40,627 --> 00:36:44,460 And he immediately says, "I'm going to Sophie." 817 00:36:44,543 --> 00:36:47,085 And then, you know, that was the last night 818 00:36:47,168 --> 00:36:48,752 he lived with me. 819 00:36:48,835 --> 00:36:50,418 - I think I knew when I-- when I left, 820 00:36:50,502 --> 00:36:54,835 I was gonna start living here, which I ended up doing, but... 821 00:36:54,919 --> 00:36:59,335 I--I don't think I had any other thought but just Sophie. 822 00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:01,835 Like, "What's going on with her? 823 00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:04,252 "How's she gonna feel when she, you know, 824 00:37:04,335 --> 00:37:07,335 realizes what happened?" that kind of thing. 825 00:37:07,418 --> 00:37:08,794 - Go get a ball. 826 00:37:13,543 --> 00:37:16,126 - Hey, you! - Hi, Andy. 827 00:37:16,210 --> 00:37:17,210 - Been a while. - How are you? 828 00:37:17,293 --> 00:37:19,126 I know. Hi. - Pretty good. 829 00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:20,627 Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too. 830 00:37:20,710 --> 00:37:23,627 - Yeah. I was just trying to explain 831 00:37:23,710 --> 00:37:27,502 before to someone that, you know, to come back-- 832 00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:30,460 to come to a place like this, for me, 833 00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:32,627 you know, 'cause this is one of the places 834 00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:34,669 that are a part of this crime, right? 835 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:37,210 - Right. - And over the years, 836 00:37:37,293 --> 00:37:39,877 it becomes bigger and, like, bigger and bigger and bigger, 837 00:37:39,961 --> 00:37:42,877 and it's a way for me to just take control of it... 838 00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:44,418 - Yeah. - And for me to own it 839 00:37:44,502 --> 00:37:46,210 and make it smaller and smaller. 840 00:37:46,293 --> 00:37:48,377 - Sometimes when you visualize things, it helps, you know. 841 00:37:48,460 --> 00:37:49,710 - Yeah, so it's not as mythical 842 00:37:49,794 --> 00:37:51,543 and big and, like, larger than life. 843 00:37:51,627 --> 00:37:52,543 - Right. - It's just--it's just 844 00:37:52,627 --> 00:37:53,543 a building in Brooklyn 845 00:37:53,627 --> 00:37:55,919 where a killer lived in the basement. 846 00:37:56,752 --> 00:37:59,877 They had these footprints in-- in Adrienne's bathroom. 847 00:37:59,961 --> 00:38:02,002 They checked everybody's shoes. 848 00:38:02,085 --> 00:38:03,627 Nothing matched. 849 00:38:03,710 --> 00:38:05,335 I believe it was the Saturday 850 00:38:05,418 --> 00:38:08,543 that Detective Piccione went to the building. 851 00:38:08,627 --> 00:38:10,293 [tense music] 852 00:38:10,377 --> 00:38:15,085 He noticed a very thin layer of construction dust 853 00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:17,543 up near Adrienne's door. 854 00:38:17,627 --> 00:38:20,126 He inquired if there was construction in the building. 855 00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:22,085 "Yes, there is." "Where?" 856 00:38:22,168 --> 00:38:25,335 "The apartment below." "Oh, let's go take a look." 857 00:38:26,543 --> 00:38:30,210 Open the door, boom. Footprint. 858 00:38:30,293 --> 00:38:34,085 Same footprint that's upstairs in the bathroom. 859 00:38:35,377 --> 00:38:37,002 - I'll tell you, if that footprint wasn't 860 00:38:37,085 --> 00:38:38,585 on that bathtub, I don't think he would have 861 00:38:38,669 --> 00:38:40,335 ever gotten caught. 862 00:38:40,418 --> 00:38:42,043 That's where Jimmy comes into play, Jimmy Piccione, 863 00:38:42,126 --> 00:38:43,418 because Jimmy kept saying, 864 00:38:43,502 --> 00:38:44,669 "You know, I really believe him. 865 00:38:44,752 --> 00:38:45,669 I really believe the husband." 866 00:38:45,752 --> 00:38:46,710 He kept saying that. "I--I believe it." 867 00:38:46,794 --> 00:38:48,335 He showed me the pictures, and he goes, 868 00:38:48,418 --> 00:38:50,252 "Why would a mother who has a two-year-old child 869 00:38:50,335 --> 00:38:52,794 and she's happy, why would she commit suicide?" 870 00:38:54,377 --> 00:38:55,627 When we first interviewed him, we'd talk 871 00:38:55,710 --> 00:38:57,794 pedigree information, like, you know, what's his name, 872 00:38:57,877 --> 00:38:59,168 you know, where he came from, 873 00:38:59,252 --> 00:39:01,418 how long he's been in America, how did he get here? 874 00:39:01,502 --> 00:39:03,418 At some point, I noticed that he kept looking-- 875 00:39:03,502 --> 00:39:05,126 playing with a prayer card, like, he kept using 876 00:39:05,210 --> 00:39:07,335 this prayer card, and you could tell that he was praying. 877 00:39:07,418 --> 00:39:09,794 And I said to him, "Do you have any children?" 878 00:39:09,877 --> 00:39:11,460 He says he didn't have any children. 879 00:39:11,543 --> 00:39:13,418 I said, "Do you have any nieces or nephews?" 880 00:39:13,502 --> 00:39:14,627 He says, "As a matter of fact, I have-- 881 00:39:14,710 --> 00:39:15,835 "my sister has a couple of kids. 882 00:39:15,919 --> 00:39:17,460 I have, like, four nieces and nephews." 883 00:39:17,543 --> 00:39:18,794 I believe it was four. 884 00:39:18,877 --> 00:39:22,085 And I sa--made him go through the list of how old they were. 885 00:39:22,168 --> 00:39:24,252 So he went through the whole list of all the children. 886 00:39:24,335 --> 00:39:26,085 The last child that he discussed, 887 00:39:26,168 --> 00:39:28,418 her name was Tiffany, and she was two years old. 888 00:39:28,502 --> 00:39:30,043 And I said to him, I go, "You know the lady-- 889 00:39:30,126 --> 00:39:31,961 "the lady that died upstairs, you know, 890 00:39:32,043 --> 00:39:33,210 she had a two-year-old daughter." 891 00:39:33,293 --> 00:39:34,252 So then I said, "You know something? 892 00:39:34,335 --> 00:39:35,252 "In life sometimes when, you know, 893 00:39:35,335 --> 00:39:37,043 "you do something wrong, God doesn't punish you. 894 00:39:37,126 --> 00:39:39,168 He punishes someone in your family." 895 00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:41,377 And at that point, he puts his head down 896 00:39:41,460 --> 00:39:43,293 and he comes back up, he goes, "Okay, I did it." 897 00:39:43,377 --> 00:39:45,835 - Mm. 898 00:39:45,919 --> 00:39:47,835 - So after I got the confession, 899 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,168 was driving in my car, 900 00:39:49,252 --> 00:39:51,669 I remember I got an ice-cold chill in the back of my neck, 901 00:39:51,752 --> 00:39:54,168 and I felt my hairs on the back of my neck stand up, 902 00:39:54,252 --> 00:39:56,585 and I felt that it was your wife thanking me 903 00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:59,293 for having this guy confess 904 00:39:59,377 --> 00:40:00,752 so your daughter doesn't have to go through life 905 00:40:00,835 --> 00:40:03,168 thinking it was a suicide. 906 00:40:04,252 --> 00:40:07,168 [soft dramatic music] 907 00:40:13,168 --> 00:40:14,919 - The stories that he had told 908 00:40:15,002 --> 00:40:16,252 when he gave his confession, 909 00:40:16,335 --> 00:40:18,335 which was a total made-up story 910 00:40:18,418 --> 00:40:22,543 about noise complaints and her coming downstairs 911 00:40:22,627 --> 00:40:23,877 and slapping him in the face, 912 00:40:23,961 --> 00:40:26,335 that was all made up. 913 00:40:26,418 --> 00:40:29,002 And then when his plea was accepted, 914 00:40:29,085 --> 00:40:31,710 his story at that time was that he followed her up 915 00:40:31,794 --> 00:40:34,752 and attempted to rob her, and she caught him. 916 00:40:36,502 --> 00:40:39,543 We've got them to agree to 25 years, 917 00:40:39,627 --> 00:40:42,543 no parole, no appeal, 918 00:40:42,627 --> 00:40:44,252 guaranteed. 919 00:40:45,752 --> 00:40:48,543 At the time, it seemed like a really good deal. 920 00:40:48,627 --> 00:40:52,502 But now that he's much closer to being out, 921 00:40:52,585 --> 00:40:56,002 it starts to really feel like 922 00:40:56,085 --> 00:40:57,502 that was no sentence. 923 00:40:57,585 --> 00:40:59,543 She died. She died a horrible death 924 00:40:59,627 --> 00:41:02,377 at the age of 40, and he'll be, 925 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:05,126 you know, 45 when he's out. 926 00:41:05,210 --> 00:41:07,794 Like, you know? 927 00:41:07,877 --> 00:41:11,210 So that 25 years is gonna go by real quick. 928 00:41:14,835 --> 00:41:17,460 I think I first started to think about meeting him 929 00:41:17,543 --> 00:41:19,752 about a year after Adrienne died. 930 00:41:19,835 --> 00:41:24,043 It was largely born out of a feeling of being unsettled 931 00:41:24,126 --> 00:41:26,377 in terms of what happened that day. 932 00:41:26,460 --> 00:41:29,543 And there's only one person on this planet 933 00:41:29,627 --> 00:41:31,543 that knows what happened that day who's still alive, 934 00:41:31,627 --> 00:41:33,085 and that's him. 935 00:41:35,335 --> 00:41:39,502 "Diego Pillco, you'll probably recognize my name. 936 00:41:39,585 --> 00:41:41,377 "I'm Adrienne Shelly's husband. 937 00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:44,085 "11 years has passed since that fateful day 938 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,794 "in November 2006. 939 00:41:45,877 --> 00:41:49,085 "So many lives profoundly changed that day, 940 00:41:49,168 --> 00:41:51,669 "including yours. 941 00:41:51,752 --> 00:41:53,293 "Not a minute of every day goes by 942 00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:56,335 "without me thinking of Adrienne and what I've lost, 943 00:41:56,418 --> 00:42:00,293 "what my daughter Sophie, who is now 14, has lost, 944 00:42:00,377 --> 00:42:02,502 "what the world has lost. 945 00:42:02,585 --> 00:42:05,961 "I would like to talk with you about what happened that day. 946 00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:08,752 Will you agree to meet and talk with me?" 947 00:42:14,835 --> 00:42:16,961 - Oh! - Ow, watch where you're-- 948 00:42:17,043 --> 00:42:18,377 Hey. - Hey, hi, Adrienne. 949 00:42:18,460 --> 00:42:19,585 - Hi, Tim. - Good to see you. 950 00:42:19,669 --> 00:42:21,252 - Good to see you too. - Hey, what are you doing? 951 00:42:21,335 --> 00:42:22,585 - Oh, I don't know-- - Do you have a minute 952 00:42:22,669 --> 00:42:24,418 to talk about "Sudden Manhattan"? 953 00:42:24,502 --> 00:42:27,752 - I certainly have a minute to talk about "Sudden Manhattan." 954 00:42:27,835 --> 00:42:30,835 Six, seven, eight. 955 00:42:30,919 --> 00:42:32,835 Eight zits. 956 00:42:32,919 --> 00:42:35,126 One less than yesterday. 957 00:42:35,210 --> 00:42:36,669 What happened to the missing zit? 958 00:42:36,752 --> 00:42:39,293 Where'd it go? 959 00:42:39,377 --> 00:42:40,669 Hmm. 960 00:42:40,752 --> 00:42:42,669 One zit less. 961 00:42:45,669 --> 00:42:47,126 Well, I wanted to make this movie 962 00:42:47,210 --> 00:42:49,293 because I think it's sort of an analogy 963 00:42:49,377 --> 00:42:52,460 to being in your 20s, being at a certain point in your life 964 00:42:52,543 --> 00:42:55,961 where, you know, a lot of strange things are happening 965 00:42:56,043 --> 00:42:57,961 to you and you can't really make any sense of-- 966 00:42:58,043 --> 00:42:59,627 of them. 967 00:43:01,877 --> 00:43:04,877 I'm stuck in a vortex. 968 00:43:04,961 --> 00:43:07,752 I'm stuck in a vortex. 969 00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:12,043 It's really about, uh, trying to find meaning 970 00:43:12,126 --> 00:43:15,710 in a world that is often very confusing. 971 00:43:15,794 --> 00:43:17,919 - And then she steals the carrot out of my mouth, 972 00:43:18,002 --> 00:43:20,543 and she hop, hop, hops away. 973 00:43:20,627 --> 00:43:24,418 And my voice tells me, "Bonnie, you dumb bunny. 974 00:43:24,502 --> 00:43:26,710 She wants you to follow." 975 00:43:26,794 --> 00:43:29,293 [distorted] Then he took the gun and shot the man dead 976 00:43:29,377 --> 00:43:30,835 in plain daylight. 977 00:43:30,919 --> 00:43:32,002 - That film was nuts, right? 978 00:43:32,085 --> 00:43:33,335 Like, what did you think of it? - It was nuts. 979 00:43:33,418 --> 00:43:35,502 Like, it always amazed me, Adrienne would say, 980 00:43:35,585 --> 00:43:38,043 "I'm writing this thing," then suddenly she would call 981 00:43:38,126 --> 00:43:41,460 three weeks later and say, "We have funding." 982 00:43:41,543 --> 00:43:42,543 I don't know how it happened. - Right. 983 00:43:42,627 --> 00:43:44,669 - It just--somehow, she knew someone and knew-- 984 00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:47,669 and she just got on the phone and worked connections 985 00:43:47,752 --> 00:43:49,794 and called people, and they read her work 986 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,085 and liked it, so they produced it. 987 00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:54,377 - Tea leaves, palm readings, aura readings, 988 00:43:54,460 --> 00:43:57,418 tarot cards, astrology, past life readings, 989 00:43:57,502 --> 00:44:00,418 or guardian angel information. 990 00:44:00,502 --> 00:44:02,585 - Uh, no, I don't-- I don't think-- 991 00:44:02,669 --> 00:44:05,502 - Or I can do all of them at the same time. 992 00:44:05,585 --> 00:44:07,460 - You do all of them at the same time? 993 00:44:07,543 --> 00:44:08,460 - Mm-hmm. 994 00:44:08,543 --> 00:44:10,085 - I think it was "Sudden Manhattan," 995 00:44:10,168 --> 00:44:13,543 and she was having a lot of difficulty with the reception, 996 00:44:13,627 --> 00:44:16,377 and she got a negative review somewhere, 997 00:44:16,460 --> 00:44:17,919 and she called me. 998 00:44:20,126 --> 00:44:22,126 And she was just crying... 999 00:44:22,210 --> 00:44:24,877 - No reason to get out of bed. 1000 00:44:24,961 --> 00:44:26,335 - For several hours, 1001 00:44:26,418 --> 00:44:29,043 because somebody had ripped her to shreds. 1002 00:44:29,126 --> 00:44:32,126 - No reason to brush my teeth. 1003 00:44:32,210 --> 00:44:33,961 - What Adrienne found in making that movie 1004 00:44:34,043 --> 00:44:37,126 is that being in the movie, writing it, and directing it, 1005 00:44:37,210 --> 00:44:40,460 critics were not going to be kind to a woman who did that. 1006 00:44:40,543 --> 00:44:43,043 - Right. - And I really do feel 1007 00:44:43,126 --> 00:44:46,669 there was tremendous sexism that made that 1008 00:44:46,752 --> 00:44:48,752 a hard thing to do. 1009 00:44:48,835 --> 00:44:51,585 [dramatic romantic music] 1010 00:44:53,335 --> 00:44:55,669 [doorbell rings] 1011 00:44:55,752 --> 00:44:57,585 - Mahjong. 1012 00:44:57,669 --> 00:44:59,460 all: Mahjong! 1013 00:44:59,543 --> 00:45:01,835 - I said to her, "Tell me about this character. 1014 00:45:01,919 --> 00:45:05,126 I mean, what are you really looking for?" 1015 00:45:05,210 --> 00:45:06,961 What I wanna know is... 1016 00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:12,293 Do you wanna go to Spain with me and make love? 1017 00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:14,043 And she said, "Well," she said 1018 00:45:14,126 --> 00:45:16,168 "This character's really based on my mother." 1019 00:45:16,252 --> 00:45:17,585 - You know Missy. - Hi, Lois. 1020 00:45:17,669 --> 00:45:19,335 - Missy's taking Mona's place in the mahjong game. 1021 00:45:19,418 --> 00:45:21,835 - How's it going? 1022 00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:23,669 - It's-- it's going well. 1023 00:45:23,752 --> 00:45:26,252 - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm having a good time. 1024 00:45:26,335 --> 00:45:28,835 Somebody's agreed to let me make a movie again. 1025 00:45:28,919 --> 00:45:30,877 And that's, um-- 1026 00:45:30,961 --> 00:45:33,752 that never, you know, fails to surprise me 1027 00:45:33,835 --> 00:45:35,794 and delight me. 1028 00:45:35,877 --> 00:45:37,585 It's called "Get Up and Recover." 1029 00:45:37,669 --> 00:45:38,877 - Oh, Lucy. 1030 00:45:38,961 --> 00:45:41,377 - There are all these great exercises in here, 1031 00:45:41,460 --> 00:45:45,252 not just to, um... forget your misery 1032 00:45:45,335 --> 00:45:49,460 but to go forward, to face your pain. 1033 00:45:49,543 --> 00:45:51,418 You know, to strengthen your soul. 1034 00:45:51,502 --> 00:45:52,752 - There's nothing wrong with my soul. 1035 00:45:52,835 --> 00:45:56,252 - This is exactly the situation that life offers you 1036 00:45:56,335 --> 00:45:59,043 a real opportunity to grow. 1037 00:45:59,126 --> 00:46:02,210 There's--there's not really one breakup in particular 1038 00:46:02,293 --> 00:46:04,335 that inspired this film. 1039 00:46:04,418 --> 00:46:07,710 I think I've probably been all of the characters 1040 00:46:07,794 --> 00:46:09,669 in the film at one time or another. 1041 00:46:09,752 --> 00:46:12,543 I set up a date for you. 1042 00:46:12,627 --> 00:46:15,335 - Are you kidding? - With Bernice. 1043 00:46:15,418 --> 00:46:18,126 My friend from college, she just moved here from LA. 1044 00:46:18,210 --> 00:46:19,460 - You did what? 1045 00:46:19,543 --> 00:46:21,585 - You told me you thought she was cute. 1046 00:46:21,669 --> 00:46:25,210 - That was eight years ago. I met her for five minutes. 1047 00:46:25,293 --> 00:46:26,502 - Bill, you gotta move forward. 1048 00:46:26,585 --> 00:46:27,669 You gotta move forward, Bill. 1049 00:46:27,752 --> 00:46:30,627 - I can't go on a date, Lucy. I can't tie my shoes. 1050 00:46:30,710 --> 00:46:33,002 What are you talking about, a date? 1051 00:46:33,085 --> 00:46:34,835 Cancel it. - I can't. 1052 00:46:34,919 --> 00:46:37,502 - Why not? [doorbell buzzes] 1053 00:46:39,460 --> 00:46:40,794 - Hi. 1054 00:46:40,877 --> 00:46:45,877 - I was going for a tone in the film where-- 1055 00:46:45,961 --> 00:46:50,752 where you can kind of find what's funny in what's painful. 1056 00:46:50,835 --> 00:46:52,210 Um, which has always kind of 1057 00:46:52,293 --> 00:46:54,794 been my strategy anyway in life, you know. 1058 00:46:54,877 --> 00:46:57,877 I think it's a great sort of survival technique. 1059 00:47:00,752 --> 00:47:02,710 - "Oddly enough, I believe that the person 1060 00:47:02,794 --> 00:47:05,043 "who's had the greatest influence on my creative life 1061 00:47:05,126 --> 00:47:06,669 has been my father." 1062 00:47:08,126 --> 00:47:09,418 "The reason why this is unusual 1063 00:47:09,502 --> 00:47:12,377 "is that I have not seen my father in 18 years. 1064 00:47:12,460 --> 00:47:14,919 "He died very suddenly when I was 12. 1065 00:47:15,002 --> 00:47:16,710 "He was 40 years old. 1066 00:47:16,794 --> 00:47:18,252 "This was to begin my strange 1067 00:47:18,335 --> 00:47:20,460 "and ugly companionship with grief. 1068 00:47:20,543 --> 00:47:22,710 "Learning to cope with loss has been an odyssey 1069 00:47:22,794 --> 00:47:24,210 for me throughout my life." 1070 00:47:24,293 --> 00:47:26,669 - One of the most incredible moments 1071 00:47:26,752 --> 00:47:28,877 I ever had with Adrienne 1072 00:47:28,961 --> 00:47:31,710 was when she told me 1073 00:47:31,794 --> 00:47:33,335 what she remembered from that day. 1074 00:47:33,418 --> 00:47:35,002 - From when her father-- [gasps] 1075 00:47:35,085 --> 00:47:36,335 And what was that? 1076 00:47:36,418 --> 00:47:38,627 - She was picked up at camp. - Right, right. 1077 00:47:38,710 --> 00:47:41,752 - She said it was a-- a long ride home, 1078 00:47:41,835 --> 00:47:43,418 and she literally was staring out the window, 1079 00:47:43,502 --> 00:47:46,293 wondering, "What is going on?" 1080 00:47:46,377 --> 00:47:48,710 And she said, "I went into the house, 1081 00:47:48,794 --> 00:47:51,126 "and I walked into the kitchen, 1082 00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:53,877 "and on the kitchen table 1083 00:47:53,961 --> 00:47:55,794 was an obituary from the newspaper." 1084 00:47:55,877 --> 00:47:57,377 - [gasps] Oh! 1085 00:47:57,460 --> 00:48:00,168 - So here--here's-- here's the incredible part. 1086 00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:02,919 She faked not knowing... 1087 00:48:03,002 --> 00:48:04,335 - Yeah. - Because she didn't want... 1088 00:48:04,418 --> 00:48:06,168 - Oh. - To make you feel bad. 1089 00:48:06,252 --> 00:48:09,835 The way she told me this story, she started laughing. 1090 00:48:09,919 --> 00:48:11,835 And she said to me, "Can you believe this? 1091 00:48:11,919 --> 00:48:14,502 This is how I found out how my father died." 1092 00:48:15,377 --> 00:48:20,126 The tonal shift is really what she brought to her work. 1093 00:48:20,210 --> 00:48:22,502 Just the horror and the comedy 1094 00:48:22,585 --> 00:48:26,502 all wrapped into one crazy moment. 1095 00:48:26,585 --> 00:48:29,460 - "When loss--the fear of it as well as the truth of it-- 1096 00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:32,293 "runs your life, there is not much room in your life 1097 00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:34,585 for other things, like love." 1098 00:48:47,961 --> 00:48:50,085 That's it. - That's it? 1099 00:48:50,168 --> 00:48:51,543 - Yes. - No more? 1100 00:48:51,627 --> 00:48:53,085 - No. - Did you have fun? 1101 00:48:53,168 --> 00:48:55,043 - Yes. - Yeah, is that a fun car? 1102 00:48:55,126 --> 00:48:57,919 - Yes. - Why is it fun? 1103 00:48:58,002 --> 00:48:59,627 - Because you bought it. 1104 00:48:59,710 --> 00:49:00,835 - Because I bought it? 1105 00:49:00,919 --> 00:49:02,002 - Yes. - Oh, that's nice. 1106 00:49:02,085 --> 00:49:03,335 So are you a good driver? 1107 00:49:03,418 --> 00:49:05,543 - Good job. 1108 00:49:05,627 --> 00:49:07,460 - I think it was about three weeks later, maybe-- 1109 00:49:07,543 --> 00:49:10,126 no, a month later. 1110 00:49:10,210 --> 00:49:12,002 You-- you wanted to get Sophie-- 1111 00:49:12,085 --> 00:49:13,210 you got--you just wanted to get her out of-- 1112 00:49:13,293 --> 00:49:14,377 you needed to get out of New York. 1113 00:49:14,460 --> 00:49:15,835 And you came to visit. 1114 00:49:16,794 --> 00:49:19,669 I remember opening the door and--and... 1115 00:49:19,752 --> 00:49:21,877 you and Sophie walking up the walkway there, 1116 00:49:21,961 --> 00:49:23,752 opening the gate. 1117 00:49:23,835 --> 00:49:25,377 And I remember... 1118 00:49:27,002 --> 00:49:28,961 It wasn't three of you. It was two of you. 1119 00:49:30,543 --> 00:49:33,835 - I had a lot of people who would say things 1120 00:49:33,919 --> 00:49:35,293 like, "Everything's gonna be okay," 1121 00:49:35,377 --> 00:49:36,418 "You'll get through it," 1122 00:49:36,502 --> 00:49:38,794 all the things that nice people say 1123 00:49:38,877 --> 00:49:42,252 when they care about you and want to make you feel better. 1124 00:49:42,335 --> 00:49:43,460 I remember this one guy 1125 00:49:43,543 --> 00:49:46,543 whose son committed suicide many years earlier, 1126 00:49:46,627 --> 00:49:49,961 and then he contacted me right away, and he was like, 1127 00:49:50,043 --> 00:49:51,085 "Here's what's gonna happen day one. 1128 00:49:51,168 --> 00:49:53,168 "Here's what's gonna happen month one, month two, 1129 00:49:53,252 --> 00:49:54,460 year one, year two." 1130 00:49:54,543 --> 00:49:55,877 He laid out, like, a blueprint 1131 00:49:55,961 --> 00:49:57,543 of, like, how often I'll cry. 1132 00:49:57,627 --> 00:49:59,377 I found that invaluable. 1133 00:49:59,460 --> 00:50:02,043 Uh, my friend Julie Rudd, 1134 00:50:02,126 --> 00:50:05,961 uh, had a fiancé who died in a horrible work accident. 1135 00:50:06,043 --> 00:50:08,418 - I think it might have been a week later 1136 00:50:08,502 --> 00:50:10,460 that you called me, and I was like, 1137 00:50:10,543 --> 00:50:14,126 "Oh, he--this is--he's-- he's gonna be okay, 1138 00:50:14,210 --> 00:50:18,961 "because he is already looking to climb himself out. 1139 00:50:19,043 --> 00:50:21,669 "You know, he doesn't wanna stay where he is, 1140 00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:25,085 and he knows he can't, because he's got a young daughter." 1141 00:50:25,168 --> 00:50:28,585 - Was there ever a moment where... 1142 00:50:28,669 --> 00:50:32,085 you didn't think you would be able to move on from this? 1143 00:50:32,168 --> 00:50:33,460 - No. 1144 00:50:34,710 --> 00:50:36,543 No, not in that sense. 1145 00:50:36,627 --> 00:50:38,919 But I had really dark moments-- 1146 00:50:39,002 --> 00:50:40,752 dark, dark, dark moments, 1147 00:50:40,835 --> 00:50:43,752 going in that closet in the back, 1148 00:50:43,835 --> 00:50:46,835 taking her clothes and curling up on a-- 1149 00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,835 fetal position on the floor and just sobbing 1150 00:50:49,919 --> 00:50:52,752 till I literally had nothing left. 1151 00:50:52,835 --> 00:50:56,002 But then over, you know, the next few days, 1152 00:50:56,085 --> 00:50:59,126 the next week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, 1153 00:50:59,210 --> 00:51:02,835 all of a sudden, you know, a routine settles in. 1154 00:51:02,919 --> 00:51:05,293 I just looked at her and made her a promise 1155 00:51:05,377 --> 00:51:09,252 that she's gonna grow up happy and healthy. 1156 00:51:09,335 --> 00:51:11,460 We're gonna be okay. 1157 00:51:11,543 --> 00:51:13,961 Like, we're a team. We're gonna be okay. 1158 00:51:14,043 --> 00:51:16,961 [soft music] 1159 00:51:19,085 --> 00:51:21,669 - I don't want you to be sad, okay, Daddy? 1160 00:51:21,752 --> 00:51:23,627 - You think Daddy looks sad? - Yes. 1161 00:51:23,710 --> 00:51:26,168 But I'm gonna take care of you when Mommy died. 1162 00:51:26,252 --> 00:51:28,210 - I'm so lucky to have you. 1163 00:51:29,418 --> 00:51:30,710 - You be so proud of me, 1164 00:51:30,794 --> 00:51:33,877 and you not be sad anymore that Mommy died. 1165 00:51:33,961 --> 00:51:36,210 I like Mommy's picture up there. 1166 00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:38,835 - Mommy's watching over her little girl while she sleeps. 1167 00:51:38,919 --> 00:51:40,710 - She's watching me? - Yes. 1168 00:51:40,794 --> 00:51:43,377 She'll always be with you, everywhere you go. 1169 00:51:54,210 --> 00:51:56,293 How do you feel about, like, today 1170 00:51:56,377 --> 00:51:59,126 versus other days? 1171 00:52:00,585 --> 00:52:03,168 - It doesn't really feel very different 1172 00:52:03,252 --> 00:52:06,377 than most days, like, 'cause it's just a day, 1173 00:52:06,460 --> 00:52:08,168 but it just happens to be, like, when-- 1174 00:52:08,252 --> 00:52:10,085 like, an anniversary of something, 1175 00:52:10,168 --> 00:52:13,252 so it's, like, always in the back of my mind. 1176 00:52:13,335 --> 00:52:15,752 It's not like it's harder today. 1177 00:52:15,835 --> 00:52:18,252 I think it's only harder 1178 00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:21,585 because I'm thinking about it more 1179 00:52:21,669 --> 00:52:23,835 than I would on a different day. 1180 00:52:23,919 --> 00:52:26,961 - Are there days or holidays in particular 1181 00:52:27,043 --> 00:52:29,210 more so than other days or other holidays 1182 00:52:29,293 --> 00:52:31,043 that make you think more about that? 1183 00:52:31,126 --> 00:52:33,835 - Well, Halloween, 'cause it's right there, 1184 00:52:33,919 --> 00:52:35,377 and the party you guys threw. 1185 00:52:35,460 --> 00:52:38,585 - Mm-hmm. - Um, Mother's Day, obviously. 1186 00:52:38,669 --> 00:52:39,835 - Mm-hmm. - Um-- 1187 00:52:39,919 --> 00:52:43,252 - What do you typically feel on Mother's Day? 1188 00:52:43,335 --> 00:52:46,710 - Um, just kind of like, um, 1189 00:52:46,794 --> 00:52:48,877 like, robbed. 1190 00:52:48,961 --> 00:52:50,961 Like, I'm just jealous all day. 1191 00:52:51,043 --> 00:52:53,627 Just 'cause of, like, other people 1192 00:52:53,710 --> 00:52:55,460 and, like, their moms. 1193 00:52:55,543 --> 00:52:57,710 Like, I'm jealous of that. 1194 00:52:57,794 --> 00:53:00,252 I'm understanding now how permanent it is. 1195 00:53:00,335 --> 00:53:01,669 - Mm-hmm. - That's hard to deal with, 1196 00:53:01,752 --> 00:53:05,460 but it's mostly just like, I'm never going to have one. 1197 00:53:05,543 --> 00:53:08,335 Like, the permanency of that. - Mm-hmm. 1198 00:53:19,002 --> 00:53:21,418 - Hi. 1199 00:53:21,502 --> 00:53:25,418 It's me, Adrienne, and, uh-- 1200 00:53:25,502 --> 00:53:28,418 and I just started shooting this documentary 1201 00:53:28,502 --> 00:53:30,085 a few days ago. 1202 00:53:30,168 --> 00:53:32,502 - One of the things that I've discovered 1203 00:53:32,585 --> 00:53:34,835 through this process is, Adrienne-- 1204 00:53:34,919 --> 00:53:35,877 and maybe you know about it, Adrienne was 1205 00:53:35,961 --> 00:53:37,460 making a documentary about happiness. 1206 00:53:37,543 --> 00:53:38,835 Do you know anything about that? 1207 00:53:38,919 --> 00:53:43,335 - There's too many things I haven't done yet 1208 00:53:43,418 --> 00:53:46,877 There's too many sunsets 1209 00:53:46,961 --> 00:53:50,877 I haven't seen 1210 00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:55,418 You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down 1211 00:53:55,502 --> 00:53:58,585 You would've thought by now 1212 00:53:58,669 --> 00:53:59,585 - I have the tapes. 1213 00:53:59,669 --> 00:54:00,710 - That's amazing. - And they're amazing. 1214 00:54:00,794 --> 00:54:03,961 [Sara Bareilles' "Many the Miles"] 1215 00:54:04,043 --> 00:54:05,752 [doorbell rings] 1216 00:54:05,835 --> 00:54:08,460 - We're making a-- a documentary about happiness. 1217 00:54:08,543 --> 00:54:10,627 I'm assuming you're a couple. - We are. 1218 00:54:10,710 --> 00:54:12,502 - We're--we're actually looking for the happiest person 1219 00:54:12,585 --> 00:54:13,835 in New York. 1220 00:54:13,919 --> 00:54:16,543 - We're pretty happy. Erica makes me happy. 1221 00:54:16,627 --> 00:54:18,418 - Aww. This is for you. 1222 00:54:18,502 --> 00:54:19,961 - What is--this is for me? - It's a yo-yo. 1223 00:54:20,043 --> 00:54:23,002 - Oh, how very nice. I shall play with this at home. 1224 00:54:23,085 --> 00:54:24,710 [laughter] 1225 00:54:24,794 --> 00:54:27,835 - We went, uh, my boyfriend and I, to see, um... 1226 00:54:27,919 --> 00:54:29,502 Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello 1227 00:54:29,585 --> 00:54:31,210 in concert at Carnegie Hall. 1228 00:54:31,293 --> 00:54:32,710 I used to come here for breakfast-- 1229 00:54:32,794 --> 00:54:35,377 it was a breakfast place-- with my ex-boyfriend. 1230 00:54:35,460 --> 00:54:37,543 And, uh, it was really painful because we knew 1231 00:54:37,627 --> 00:54:40,335 that we were gonna end our relationship that night. 1232 00:54:40,418 --> 00:54:42,210 We used to fight a lot here. 1233 00:54:42,293 --> 00:54:45,043 We were just kind of frozen there in our seats 1234 00:54:45,126 --> 00:54:47,669 listening to them sing this stuff. 1235 00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:50,043 And then finally, uh, we broke up here. 1236 00:54:50,126 --> 00:54:53,752 And I remember feeling like, "Ugh, yeah, pain! 1237 00:54:53,835 --> 00:54:56,418 Ugh, yeah, life-- give it to me, give it to me." 1238 00:54:56,502 --> 00:55:00,085 And the place, uh, was a place I think of misery and failure 1239 00:55:00,168 --> 00:55:02,168 for the owners also, 'cause they went out of business, 1240 00:55:02,252 --> 00:55:05,252 and it became another restaurant altogether. 1241 00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,752 We were very specifically looking for a restaurant 1242 00:55:07,835 --> 00:55:09,752 to break up in, and finally, uh, 1243 00:55:09,835 --> 00:55:14,252 we settled into Ollie's Noodle Shop and Grill. 1244 00:55:14,335 --> 00:55:18,502 I came back, um, with a-- with a new boyfriend, 1245 00:55:18,585 --> 00:55:21,293 and, uh--and he broke up with me here too. 1246 00:55:21,377 --> 00:55:22,877 I listened to him tell me everything 1247 00:55:22,961 --> 00:55:25,877 that was wrong with me and how I had failed him. 1248 00:55:25,961 --> 00:55:27,710 And then shortly after that, 1249 00:55:27,794 --> 00:55:30,210 uh, that restaurant went out of business. 1250 00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:32,877 And I sat there and told him everything that he did wrong 1251 00:55:32,961 --> 00:55:35,335 and how he failed me. 1252 00:55:35,418 --> 00:55:39,335 And, uh--and it was just-- it was just awful. 1253 00:55:39,418 --> 00:55:43,252 So I try to stay away from here if I can, 1254 00:55:43,335 --> 00:55:47,335 um, not bring any beaus here, 1255 00:55:47,418 --> 00:55:50,085 because they're just gonna break up with me, 1256 00:55:50,168 --> 00:55:52,168 and--and then the restaurant's gonna close. 1257 00:55:52,252 --> 00:55:55,002 - She had so many crappy relationships. 1258 00:55:55,085 --> 00:55:58,085 - So many, so many. - I often think about, like, 1259 00:55:58,168 --> 00:55:59,543 she was smart, she was beautiful. 1260 00:55:59,627 --> 00:56:01,919 Like, she had everything to offer. 1261 00:56:02,002 --> 00:56:03,919 - I want, you know, very different things now 1262 00:56:04,002 --> 00:56:06,293 than when I was younger. 1263 00:56:06,377 --> 00:56:09,085 And I'd like to think that, you know, I could... 1264 00:56:11,835 --> 00:56:15,752 Spend my life with somebody and have a family and, uh-- 1265 00:56:15,835 --> 00:56:20,460 and still be allowed to be myself, you know? 1266 00:56:20,543 --> 00:56:21,835 - And was it just the-- - I think 1267 00:56:21,919 --> 00:56:24,669 that a lot of men 1268 00:56:24,752 --> 00:56:30,168 felt that here was this tiny, little, adorable woman 1269 00:56:30,252 --> 00:56:33,335 that they were going to take care of 1270 00:56:33,418 --> 00:56:36,210 and protect and control. 1271 00:56:36,293 --> 00:56:39,293 And she had no intention of that happening. 1272 00:56:39,377 --> 00:56:43,418 She was tiny but very large in personality 1273 00:56:43,502 --> 00:56:47,919 and in mind and in deed and in will. 1274 00:56:48,002 --> 00:56:49,835 - Are you in love? 1275 00:56:49,919 --> 00:56:51,043 - No. I'm in love, 1276 00:56:51,126 --> 00:56:52,627 but, um, I don't know with-- 1277 00:56:52,710 --> 00:56:53,961 I mean, he's somewhere out there. 1278 00:56:54,043 --> 00:56:55,126 I don't know where he is. 1279 00:56:55,210 --> 00:56:57,210 I'm--I have all this love inside of me 1280 00:56:57,293 --> 00:57:00,126 and no one to give it to now. 1281 00:57:00,210 --> 00:57:02,669 - And because I'm-- I'm on this sort of quest 1282 00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:05,835 to figure out what happiness is in this documentary, 1283 00:57:05,919 --> 00:57:11,543 I guess I--I should... probably admit that, uh, 1284 00:57:11,627 --> 00:57:15,710 I--I'm not really such an expert on it. 1285 00:57:17,126 --> 00:57:19,877 - The conversation that we used to have quite a bit 1286 00:57:19,961 --> 00:57:21,752 is, what's more important to us? 1287 00:57:21,835 --> 00:57:24,543 Is having love and marriage more important to us? 1288 00:57:24,627 --> 00:57:27,460 Or is it more im--is our art more important to us? 1289 00:57:27,543 --> 00:57:29,460 And we would have those debates a lot. 1290 00:57:29,543 --> 00:57:33,502 And Adrienne fell into the camp of, "Love and marriage 1291 00:57:33,585 --> 00:57:36,210 is ultimately more important to me." 1292 00:57:36,293 --> 00:57:39,210 - Are you happy? - I'm content. 1293 00:57:39,293 --> 00:57:41,210 - Knowing her and knowing how passionate 1294 00:57:41,293 --> 00:57:43,752 about her work she was, I was surprised. 1295 00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,293 But thinking back on it, I'm not. 1296 00:57:46,377 --> 00:57:48,919 - "I want love to work. I want no more pain. 1297 00:57:49,002 --> 00:57:50,919 "I want to have a child and a family. 1298 00:57:51,002 --> 00:57:53,293 "I want to create marvelous things from my heart and mind 1299 00:57:53,377 --> 00:57:55,085 and hands and mouth." 1300 00:57:55,168 --> 00:57:57,085 - I remember when I first came to New York, 1301 00:57:57,168 --> 00:57:59,043 when I first moved to New York, I-- 1302 00:57:59,126 --> 00:58:01,418 I, um-- I--I-- 1303 00:58:01,502 --> 00:58:03,085 I said the same kind of thing to myself, 1304 00:58:03,168 --> 00:58:04,794 that, you know, he's somewhere here. 1305 00:58:04,877 --> 00:58:06,835 - He has to be. - Wonder where he is 1306 00:58:06,919 --> 00:58:08,043 and what he's doing right now 1307 00:58:08,126 --> 00:58:10,627 and if he's wondering where I am, you know. 1308 00:58:11,502 --> 00:58:16,252 I want to be part of something that's bigger than just me. 1309 00:58:18,418 --> 00:58:20,002 - She wanted to be loved. 1310 00:58:20,085 --> 00:58:24,126 You know, talking to her a few late nights where she really 1311 00:58:24,210 --> 00:58:25,919 had the feeling she would never be loved 1312 00:58:26,002 --> 00:58:27,168 and it would never happen. 1313 00:58:27,252 --> 00:58:29,961 And I knew that was literally impossible. 1314 00:58:30,043 --> 00:58:32,002 This is just what's happening now. 1315 00:58:32,085 --> 00:58:33,835 That person is out there. 1316 00:58:33,919 --> 00:58:36,293 And of course he was, and it was you. 1317 00:58:39,043 --> 00:58:42,627 - She met you, um, as I believe, after 9/11. 1318 00:58:42,710 --> 00:58:44,502 You were volunteering downtown. 1319 00:58:44,585 --> 00:58:45,669 - No, no, no, no. - She said she met you 1320 00:58:45,752 --> 00:58:47,627 at a political fundraiser. 1321 00:58:47,710 --> 00:58:49,252 - What? She said to me, 1322 00:58:49,335 --> 00:58:51,460 you know, like a lot of people after 9/11, 1323 00:58:51,543 --> 00:58:52,919 you know, you start reassessing your life. 1324 00:58:53,002 --> 00:58:54,377 - Right. - Like, "What am I doing?" 1325 00:58:54,460 --> 00:58:55,543 - So it was after 9/11? - It was right after-- 1326 00:58:55,627 --> 00:58:56,585 - So I got that part right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1327 00:58:56,669 --> 00:58:58,126 - She told me that you guys met 1328 00:58:58,210 --> 00:59:01,168 at a political fundraiser. 1329 00:59:01,252 --> 00:59:03,919 - Did you volunteer with her after together? 1330 00:59:04,002 --> 00:59:05,043 - She told me she went on Match, 1331 00:59:05,126 --> 00:59:06,252 and she was embarrassed. 1332 00:59:06,335 --> 00:59:08,627 She was a little, like, "I don't want anyone to know." 1333 00:59:08,710 --> 00:59:10,252 Hi, now everybody knows. 1334 00:59:10,335 --> 00:59:12,002 I supported her instantly. I said, "Great. 1335 00:59:12,085 --> 00:59:14,210 "That's how people-- you know, it's--you know, 1336 00:59:14,293 --> 00:59:15,710 people meet people that way now." 1337 00:59:15,794 --> 00:59:17,919 I mean, it's a great way to get outside 1338 00:59:18,002 --> 00:59:20,126 of the sphere of just show business. 1339 00:59:20,210 --> 00:59:23,126 And she made it clear, like, "I only went to one person. 1340 00:59:23,210 --> 00:59:27,502 I saw his profile picture, I chose it, and that was that." 1341 00:59:27,585 --> 00:59:30,002 She made one connection. It was you. 1342 00:59:30,085 --> 00:59:33,293 - Listen, um, I have a five-minute blind date tonight 1343 00:59:33,377 --> 00:59:35,335 with an insurance salesman named Pete-- 1344 00:59:35,418 --> 00:59:39,210 5'10", 37, all his hair, nice picture, loves fishin'. 1345 00:59:39,293 --> 00:59:40,210 - Five-minute date? 1346 00:59:40,293 --> 00:59:41,585 Can't the guy pay for the whole thing? 1347 00:59:41,669 --> 00:59:43,002 - She literally said to me, 1348 00:59:43,085 --> 00:59:44,877 "We're gonna go on a five-minute date." 1349 00:59:45,585 --> 00:59:47,669 That was the first time I heard that idea. 1350 00:59:47,752 --> 00:59:49,418 And I said, "How does that work?" 1351 00:59:49,502 --> 00:59:51,002 She explained the whole thing. 1352 00:59:51,085 --> 00:59:53,543 She said, "I show up, I look at you, you look at me, 1353 00:59:53,627 --> 00:59:55,252 "and we talk for five minutes, we hate each other. 1354 00:59:55,335 --> 00:59:57,585 Like, why--what's the point of staying, like, longer?" 1355 00:59:57,669 --> 00:59:59,752 And we sat there for five hours. 1356 00:59:59,835 --> 01:00:01,919 The five-minute date became five hours. 1357 01:00:03,293 --> 01:00:05,627 - I got a secret too. 1358 01:00:05,710 --> 01:00:07,418 - You, Dawn? - Yes. 1359 01:00:07,502 --> 01:00:09,002 I have a boyfriend now. - [gasps] 1360 01:00:09,085 --> 01:00:11,252 - No. - Yes. 1361 01:00:11,335 --> 01:00:14,168 - It really did feel different from all the other guys. 1362 01:00:14,252 --> 01:00:16,669 And she said, "You know, I can't believe it, 1363 01:00:16,752 --> 01:00:20,168 but my dream guy is, like, a divorced dad of three." 1364 01:00:20,252 --> 01:00:22,002 - I'm happy to say I loved you right away. 1365 01:00:22,085 --> 01:00:23,835 Um, you had good hair. 1366 01:00:23,919 --> 01:00:26,210 - I just remember how excited you were and how surprised 1367 01:00:26,293 --> 01:00:28,877 I was that somebody like her was going out with you. 1368 01:00:28,961 --> 01:00:30,085 - You said, "You're dating Adrienne Shelly?" 1369 01:00:30,168 --> 01:00:32,961 And I said, "Yeah," and you said, "The Adrienne Shelly?" 1370 01:00:33,043 --> 01:00:36,752 And I said, "Yeah," and then you--and then you said, 1371 01:00:36,835 --> 01:00:38,418 "The Hal Hartley Adrienne Shelly? 1372 01:00:38,502 --> 01:00:39,961 'Trust' Adrienne Shelly?" 1373 01:00:40,043 --> 01:00:43,794 And then you said, "Ostroy, 1374 01:00:43,877 --> 01:00:46,043 "most days, I feel sorry for you. 1375 01:00:46,126 --> 01:00:47,377 Today's not one of 'em." 1376 01:00:47,460 --> 01:00:49,085 [laughter] 1377 01:00:49,168 --> 01:00:51,752 Not only was she just brilliant and funny, 1378 01:00:51,835 --> 01:00:57,085 but she was absolutely the cutest thing I had ever met. 1379 01:00:57,168 --> 01:01:00,543 I really felt like I was in the presence of someone special. 1380 01:01:00,627 --> 01:01:03,377 Like this was the person I was intended to be with 1381 01:01:03,460 --> 01:01:05,210 for the rest of my life-- my soul mate. 1382 01:01:05,293 --> 01:01:06,877 All the cheesy stuff. 1383 01:01:06,961 --> 01:01:09,752 [jaunty accordion music] 1384 01:01:18,877 --> 01:01:20,502 Who is this crazy lady? 1385 01:01:20,585 --> 01:01:22,835 - It's so big. 1386 01:01:22,919 --> 01:01:26,252 - I just got an Eiffel Tower for one euro, 1387 01:01:26,335 --> 01:01:27,794 but he gave me another one for free. 1388 01:01:27,877 --> 01:01:29,919 - Ooh, cool. - So nice. 1389 01:01:31,168 --> 01:01:33,835 - I proposed to her that following summer in Paris. 1390 01:01:36,710 --> 01:01:39,418 I carried the ring with me everywhere we went. 1391 01:01:40,502 --> 01:01:41,961 - So how did you propose? 1392 01:01:42,043 --> 01:01:43,919 Like, was it a surprise? Did you walk up-- 1393 01:01:44,002 --> 01:01:46,252 - Well, we walked up this street, 1394 01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:48,794 and I told your mom that ever since I met her, 1395 01:01:48,877 --> 01:01:53,293 I'd been really happy and I can't imagine 1396 01:01:53,377 --> 01:01:54,543 my life without her. 1397 01:01:56,669 --> 01:01:59,585 So after Daddy proposed, we came down here. 1398 01:02:00,835 --> 01:02:03,835 And we just sat here, and we talked for, like, hours. 1399 01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:04,919 And we'd start planning-- 1400 01:02:05,002 --> 01:02:06,752 this is where we planned the wedding, right here. 1401 01:02:06,835 --> 01:02:07,835 - Really? - Yeah. 1402 01:02:07,919 --> 01:02:10,835 [John Lennon's "Oh My Love"] 1403 01:02:10,919 --> 01:02:13,210 - Oh, my love 1404 01:02:13,293 --> 01:02:17,752 For the first time in my life 1405 01:02:17,835 --> 01:02:21,502 My eyes are wide open 1406 01:02:21,585 --> 01:02:23,252 - When I first spoke with everyone I knew 1407 01:02:23,335 --> 01:02:25,460 about the man I was falling in love with, 1408 01:02:25,543 --> 01:02:30,335 who had been married twice before and has three children, 1409 01:02:30,418 --> 01:02:32,794 I braced myself for skepticism. 1410 01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:37,168 But this is the mad, crazy love affair 1411 01:02:37,252 --> 01:02:39,543 I have waited for all my life. 1412 01:02:39,627 --> 01:02:42,335 I vow to care for your children, 1413 01:02:42,418 --> 01:02:46,377 because they are a part of you and an extra blessing to me. 1414 01:02:46,460 --> 01:02:51,877 - Everything is clear in my heart 1415 01:02:51,961 --> 01:02:54,210 - Yeah, when she called me, I think she was so at peace 1416 01:02:54,293 --> 01:02:57,835 that this other life that she really actually wanted, 1417 01:02:57,919 --> 01:02:59,043 she could have that too. 1418 01:02:59,126 --> 01:03:00,835 She could-- she could do both. 1419 01:03:00,919 --> 01:03:06,627 - Everything is clear in our world 1420 01:03:06,710 --> 01:03:07,627 - I used to go over to the house when I used 1421 01:03:07,710 --> 01:03:09,168 to sleep over all the time, 1422 01:03:09,252 --> 01:03:11,126 and Sophie would be on-- on the bed, 1423 01:03:11,210 --> 01:03:13,418 and she would be changing, and she would look, 1424 01:03:13,502 --> 01:03:15,543 and she would say, "Ma, 1425 01:03:15,627 --> 01:03:17,418 did you ever see a baby like this, Ma?" 1426 01:03:17,502 --> 01:03:20,252 The love that--I said, "I know, I know, I know." 1427 01:03:20,335 --> 01:03:24,126 And that's the thing that she won't know. 1428 01:03:24,210 --> 01:03:25,627 Sophie won't know this. 1429 01:03:27,168 --> 01:03:29,210 - "April 7, 2004. 1430 01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:31,919 "Dear Sophie, you are nine weeks old today. 1431 01:03:32,002 --> 01:03:34,126 "It's semi-crazy how much I love you, 1432 01:03:34,210 --> 01:03:36,585 "how you're so clearly the best and most important 1433 01:03:36,669 --> 01:03:38,961 "and realest thing I've ever done. 1434 01:03:39,043 --> 01:03:41,710 "Sometimes I well up with tears just looking at you. 1435 01:03:41,794 --> 01:03:43,543 "I have a ton of nicknames for you: 1436 01:03:43,627 --> 01:03:46,377 "Peanut, Monkey, Chicken, Gumdrop, 1437 01:03:46,460 --> 01:03:48,543 "Princess Boo-Boo, Soph-Soph. 1438 01:03:48,627 --> 01:03:52,669 I love you so much--so much. Mommy." 1439 01:03:52,752 --> 01:03:55,252 "Happy first birthday. 1440 01:03:55,335 --> 01:03:56,877 "My dear, sweet love bunny 1441 01:03:56,961 --> 01:03:58,752 princess of the universe Sophie, 1442 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:01,252 "you are meant to read this when you are much older, 1443 01:04:01,335 --> 01:04:03,418 "maybe 18, maybe 21. 1444 01:04:03,502 --> 01:04:05,794 "At any rate, when you are a woman. 1445 01:04:05,877 --> 01:04:08,418 "So hard for me to believe that you will be that someday. 1446 01:04:08,502 --> 01:04:11,293 "Right now, you are delicious-- beyond delicious. 1447 01:04:11,377 --> 01:04:12,835 "You are truly the most beautiful baby 1448 01:04:12,919 --> 01:04:14,002 "I have ever seen. 1449 01:04:14,085 --> 01:04:16,627 "Your spirit is joyous, and it is enormous. 1450 01:04:16,710 --> 01:04:19,627 "I pray that you will keep this amazing spirit always. 1451 01:04:19,710 --> 01:04:22,335 "You are truly the light of my life, my love. 1452 01:04:22,418 --> 01:04:25,252 "You are nothing less than the light of the whole world. 1453 01:04:25,335 --> 01:04:26,919 "I could kiss you a million times 1454 01:04:27,002 --> 01:04:29,126 "and it would not feel like enough. 1455 01:04:29,210 --> 01:04:32,293 "Please take my love with you wherever you go. 1456 01:04:32,377 --> 01:04:34,210 "You hold my heart in yours. 1457 01:04:34,293 --> 01:04:35,460 "My dearest, dearest Sophie, 1458 01:04:35,543 --> 01:04:37,543 "I love you beyond words to tell it. 1459 01:04:37,627 --> 01:04:39,460 Your Mommy, XOXOXO." 1460 01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:41,502 - Happy birthday, Sophie. 1461 01:04:41,585 --> 01:04:43,293 Little Sophie. 1462 01:04:43,377 --> 01:04:46,002 [somber music] 1463 01:04:46,085 --> 01:04:48,002 - Who hurt Mommy? 1464 01:04:48,085 --> 01:04:49,335 - A man. 1465 01:04:49,418 --> 01:04:50,669 - What did he use to hurt her? 1466 01:04:50,752 --> 01:04:52,377 - His hands. 1467 01:04:52,460 --> 01:04:54,752 - What's his name? - Diego Pillco. 1468 01:04:54,835 --> 01:04:56,710 - Where did she die? 1469 01:04:56,794 --> 01:04:58,377 - Her office. - Can we go there? 1470 01:04:58,460 --> 01:05:00,502 - Why? - To see Mommy. 1471 01:05:00,585 --> 01:05:02,043 - But she's not there anymore. 1472 01:05:02,126 --> 01:05:03,961 - Where is she? - She died, sweetie. 1473 01:05:04,043 --> 01:05:06,752 Her body stopped working, and she's not coming back. 1474 01:05:27,460 --> 01:05:29,627 "Dear Mr. Ostroy, 1475 01:05:29,710 --> 01:05:31,085 "I don't know how to start this letter. 1476 01:05:31,168 --> 01:05:33,669 "I'm surprised that you want to talk to me. 1477 01:05:33,752 --> 01:05:36,043 "I also would like to talk with you. 1478 01:05:36,126 --> 01:05:38,752 "I'm very"-- underlined-- 1479 01:05:38,835 --> 01:05:41,418 "very ashamed of myself 1480 01:05:41,502 --> 01:05:45,335 "for what I did to you and your family when I was a teenager. 1481 01:05:45,418 --> 01:05:48,835 "Ashamed for the pain I caused you and your daughter 1482 01:05:48,919 --> 01:05:50,460 "and the rest of your family. 1483 01:05:50,543 --> 01:05:52,002 "I'll carry this guilt and remorse 1484 01:05:52,085 --> 01:05:53,710 "for the rest of my life. 1485 01:05:53,794 --> 01:05:55,543 "If at all possible, could you let me know 1486 01:05:55,627 --> 01:05:57,835 "what day you're planning to come 1487 01:05:57,919 --> 01:06:01,085 "so I can prepare myself mentally? 1488 01:06:01,168 --> 01:06:04,961 Because I'm very scared and nervous." 1489 01:06:13,043 --> 01:06:14,627 Um... 1490 01:06:24,293 --> 01:06:26,293 He said yes. 1491 01:06:28,794 --> 01:06:30,543 - I have a secret too. 1492 01:06:30,627 --> 01:06:33,418 - You, Dawn? - Yeah. 1493 01:06:33,502 --> 01:06:35,502 I have a boyfriend now. 1494 01:06:35,585 --> 01:06:36,961 - No. - Yeah. 1495 01:06:37,043 --> 01:06:38,043 - That's wonderful, honey. 1496 01:06:38,126 --> 01:06:39,418 Who is he? Tell us everything. 1497 01:06:39,502 --> 01:06:40,919 - Oh, well, you're never gonna believe it, 1498 01:06:41,002 --> 01:06:43,043 but you know that guy who came in the diner that time 1499 01:06:43,126 --> 01:06:46,126 and he wouldn't leave-- name was Ogie? 1500 01:06:46,210 --> 01:06:48,794 - Ogie, the stalking elf. Yes, I remember that guy. 1501 01:06:48,877 --> 01:06:50,293 What about him? 1502 01:06:50,377 --> 01:06:52,543 [cheerful music] 1503 01:06:52,627 --> 01:06:55,126 Adrienne was always writing. 1504 01:06:55,210 --> 01:06:57,252 There's always a concept, there's always a thing, 1505 01:06:57,335 --> 01:07:00,627 there's always a--index cards of the characters and-- 1506 01:07:00,710 --> 01:07:02,752 I used to see these things all over the house 1507 01:07:02,835 --> 01:07:03,961 and-- and say, "What is that?" 1508 01:07:04,043 --> 01:07:05,293 "Eh, it's just something I'm working on." 1509 01:07:05,377 --> 01:07:08,752 Or, "That's an idea, that's a"--always ideas. 1510 01:07:08,835 --> 01:07:12,752 And then she said to me, "I'm working on something 1511 01:07:12,835 --> 01:07:16,585 "I really like, and I-- I think-- 1512 01:07:16,669 --> 01:07:18,418 I think has real potential." 1513 01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:20,543 - Sorry, I don't want-- I won't do that anymore. 1514 01:07:20,627 --> 01:07:22,377 You shouldn't be uncomfortable during this time. 1515 01:07:22,460 --> 01:07:23,919 - See, and you're doing it again. 1516 01:07:24,002 --> 01:07:25,210 - What am I doing? - I don't know. 1517 01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:29,168 I mean, you know, you do the-- the Mr. Nice Guy thing and-- 1518 01:07:29,252 --> 01:07:30,377 Forget it, forget it. 1519 01:07:30,460 --> 01:07:31,502 - Good. Okay. 1520 01:07:31,585 --> 01:07:32,502 - I messed it up a little bit. 1521 01:07:32,585 --> 01:07:34,085 - It's fine. I don't care. 1522 01:07:36,335 --> 01:07:38,710 - I was sort of like, "Why doesn't she want to do this?" 1523 01:07:38,794 --> 01:07:40,502 And she's like, "I wanna direct it, I don't--you know." 1524 01:07:40,585 --> 01:07:43,752 - The only time we ever really worked together 1525 01:07:43,835 --> 01:07:46,335 was trying to get "Waitress" made and doing-- 1526 01:07:46,418 --> 01:07:47,877 - The reading. - Doing the reading. 1527 01:07:49,710 --> 01:07:51,919 It was apparent even during the reading, 1528 01:07:52,002 --> 01:07:56,168 she conjured everything, and because she was an actor, 1529 01:07:56,252 --> 01:07:58,835 she knew how to talk to actors. 1530 01:07:58,919 --> 01:08:02,002 - You drop it here. You come in, you rush in. 1531 01:08:02,085 --> 01:08:04,835 - I think the biggest thing about Adrienne, um, 1532 01:08:04,919 --> 01:08:06,377 was, she really knew what she wanted. 1533 01:08:06,460 --> 01:08:08,168 She had such a clear idea of it. 1534 01:08:08,252 --> 01:08:10,502 - In this shot, we just sit down in two and three. 1535 01:08:10,585 --> 01:08:11,835 - Okay. 1536 01:08:11,919 --> 01:08:13,252 - Okay, rehearsing. 1537 01:08:13,335 --> 01:08:15,043 - Look at this, Jenna. 1538 01:08:15,126 --> 01:08:17,002 As you can plainly see, 1539 01:08:17,085 --> 01:08:19,418 my right boob is much higher than my left boob, 1540 01:08:19,502 --> 01:08:22,210 and Dawn here has pasty, pasty skin. 1541 01:08:22,293 --> 01:08:25,085 I'm stuck in a marriage to drooling Phil, the invalid, 1542 01:08:25,168 --> 01:08:26,961 and Dawn eats TV dinners alone, 1543 01:08:27,043 --> 01:08:29,710 but still we wouldn't rather be you. 1544 01:08:29,794 --> 01:08:32,460 - I do have pasty, pasty skin. 1545 01:08:32,543 --> 01:08:34,502 - It was so funny 1546 01:08:34,585 --> 01:08:38,002 and some, like, real female feelings. 1547 01:08:38,085 --> 01:08:40,752 - I know what you're thinking, 'cause you called him an elf. 1548 01:08:40,835 --> 01:08:42,627 - Only 'cause you initially called him an elf. 1549 01:08:42,710 --> 01:08:43,877 - You're jealous. - No. 1550 01:08:43,961 --> 01:08:46,210 - You are. Because you have 1551 01:08:46,293 --> 01:08:48,460 the most controlling husband in the world. 1552 01:08:48,543 --> 01:08:51,377 And you are stuck there, but I have found someone 1553 01:08:51,460 --> 01:08:52,835 who loves me to death. 1554 01:08:52,919 --> 01:08:54,085 - Well, let's hope not to death. 1555 01:08:54,168 --> 01:08:56,460 - And I am happy! - Good. 1556 01:08:56,543 --> 01:08:58,919 - She understood 1557 01:08:59,002 --> 01:09:01,085 when you weren't being honest in a scene. 1558 01:09:01,168 --> 01:09:04,210 I had built this "are you happy enough?" Cal speech, 1559 01:09:04,293 --> 01:09:06,252 and she goes, "Well, we got it, and it's great. 1560 01:09:06,335 --> 01:09:08,043 I'm so happy, are you happy?" I go, "Yeah, I mean"-- 1561 01:09:08,126 --> 01:09:09,585 She goes, "Great. 1562 01:09:09,669 --> 01:09:12,043 "Hey, can we try one where 1563 01:09:12,126 --> 01:09:14,585 no one's ever asked you this before?" 1564 01:09:14,669 --> 01:09:18,377 - I mean, would you call yourself a happy man? 1565 01:09:18,460 --> 01:09:19,752 - Well, if you're asking me a serious question, 1566 01:09:19,835 --> 01:09:21,919 I'll tell you. 1567 01:09:22,002 --> 01:09:24,043 I'm happy enough. 1568 01:09:24,126 --> 01:09:25,585 I don't expect much. 1569 01:09:25,669 --> 01:09:27,043 I don't give much. 1570 01:09:27,126 --> 01:09:28,835 I don't get much. 1571 01:09:28,919 --> 01:09:31,252 I generally enjoy whatever comes up. 1572 01:09:33,210 --> 01:09:34,794 That's my truth, 1573 01:09:34,877 --> 01:09:37,794 summed up for your feminine judgment. 1574 01:09:37,877 --> 01:09:40,126 I'm happy enough. 1575 01:09:40,210 --> 01:09:42,460 - I felt safe, because I knew 1576 01:09:42,543 --> 01:09:44,961 that if she didn't get what she wanted, 1577 01:09:45,043 --> 01:09:46,752 she wouldn't stop, you know? 1578 01:09:46,835 --> 01:09:48,126 That's really what it-- as an actor, 1579 01:09:48,210 --> 01:09:50,961 you just wanna feel like-- like she knows what she wants, 1580 01:09:51,043 --> 01:09:53,085 she knows when she gets it, and-- 1581 01:09:53,168 --> 01:09:55,502 you know, and that she has-- and she knows when I'm-- 1582 01:09:55,585 --> 01:09:57,585 I'm not doing it. 1583 01:09:57,669 --> 01:09:58,710 [glass shatters] 1584 01:09:58,794 --> 01:10:01,168 [all gasping, murmuring] 1585 01:10:02,377 --> 01:10:04,460 Jenna, 1586 01:10:04,543 --> 01:10:06,418 I'm very upset with you. 1587 01:10:12,835 --> 01:10:14,210 - Well, of course, you remember none of this, right? 1588 01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:16,627 - Mm-mm. Just from the movie. - Uh-huh. 1589 01:10:17,919 --> 01:10:19,126 Brings back a lot of memories. 1590 01:10:21,794 --> 01:10:24,126 - Bye. - Bye. 1591 01:10:24,210 --> 01:10:26,335 - We--we went to the road, 1592 01:10:26,418 --> 01:10:29,002 like, um, that we walked in at the end of the movie. 1593 01:10:29,085 --> 01:10:30,710 - No way! - Yeah. 1594 01:10:30,794 --> 01:10:34,335 Bye-bye-bye. [squealing] 1595 01:10:34,418 --> 01:10:36,335 - [chuckles] Bye. 1596 01:10:36,418 --> 01:10:37,460 I mean, you were too little. - Yeah. 1597 01:10:37,543 --> 01:10:38,961 - You probably don't even remember that. 1598 01:10:39,043 --> 01:10:40,877 I remember that. - She doesn't remember. 1599 01:10:40,961 --> 01:10:43,335 - You wouldn't let your mom out of your sight. 1600 01:10:43,418 --> 01:10:47,293 And, um, so we just had-- she had to run and hide 1601 01:10:47,377 --> 01:10:49,752 behind a bush, and I was just holding you 1602 01:10:49,835 --> 01:10:51,835 until you kind of calmed down, 1603 01:10:51,919 --> 01:10:54,085 and then we sort of sang together. 1604 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:59,377 Baby, don't cry, gonna make a pie 1605 01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:04,835 Hold you forever in the middle of my heart 1606 01:11:10,669 --> 01:11:15,002 - On the Monday when we learned of the arrest, 1607 01:11:15,085 --> 01:11:17,919 that's when we also learned that "Waitress" had 1608 01:11:18,002 --> 01:11:20,502 been accepted into Sundance. 1609 01:11:20,585 --> 01:11:23,502 - I'm sure as she was waiting for Sundance's response, 1610 01:11:23,585 --> 01:11:25,502 she was uncertain whether or not-- 1611 01:11:25,585 --> 01:11:26,669 - Yeah, she had no idea. 1612 01:11:26,752 --> 01:11:28,669 And I remember once saying to her, like, 1613 01:11:28,752 --> 01:11:32,043 "Do you know what you have here?" 1614 01:11:32,126 --> 01:11:35,669 And she said, "If it gets into Sundance and people see it, 1615 01:11:35,752 --> 01:11:36,877 it could be big." 1616 01:11:36,961 --> 01:11:39,418 - I didn't think about the film. 1617 01:11:39,502 --> 01:11:41,377 After what happened with Adrienne, 1618 01:11:41,460 --> 01:11:43,252 I didn't think about the film. 1619 01:11:43,335 --> 01:11:46,085 I just-- it seemed insignificant. 1620 01:11:46,168 --> 01:11:48,252 And then, um-- 1621 01:11:48,335 --> 01:11:49,835 and then we went to Sundance. 1622 01:11:49,919 --> 01:11:53,627 [soft rock music] 1623 01:11:53,710 --> 01:11:56,043 - Sundance was something I dreaded going to. 1624 01:11:58,002 --> 01:12:02,126 I knew going in, it was gonna be one of the hardest things 1625 01:12:02,210 --> 01:12:05,085 that any of us in the family had to do. 1626 01:12:06,794 --> 01:12:08,710 - You looked ashen. 1627 01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:11,794 You were there, you were present, 1628 01:12:11,877 --> 01:12:15,710 but it was everything-- every ounce of energy, 1629 01:12:15,794 --> 01:12:19,168 you know, just to be standing up and functioning right. 1630 01:12:20,377 --> 01:12:23,961 - It's the most heart-wrenching 1631 01:12:24,043 --> 01:12:27,794 and most beautiful thing that I've ever experienced. 1632 01:12:27,877 --> 01:12:30,126 We were all there, and-- and you were there, 1633 01:12:30,210 --> 01:12:31,502 and your family was there. 1634 01:12:31,585 --> 01:12:35,126 And we watched this movie, all of us, for the first time. 1635 01:12:38,377 --> 01:12:41,210 [dramatic music playing] 1636 01:12:41,293 --> 01:12:42,418 - Oh. 1637 01:12:43,835 --> 01:12:45,752 Look what you did. 1638 01:12:45,835 --> 01:12:47,752 You made me almost pretty. 1639 01:12:47,835 --> 01:12:50,418 - What do you mean "almost" pretty? 1640 01:12:50,502 --> 01:12:51,585 You're lovely. 1641 01:12:51,669 --> 01:12:53,877 - Lot of people say how, obviously, at Sundance, 1642 01:12:53,961 --> 01:12:55,710 you know, just seeing her-- 1643 01:12:55,794 --> 01:12:58,002 I know how it was for me, but seeing her-- 1644 01:12:58,085 --> 01:13:00,126 - It was a killer! Are you kidding? 1645 01:13:00,210 --> 01:13:02,252 - Aw, I'm sorry, hon. 1646 01:13:02,335 --> 01:13:03,502 - I looked, and then I didn't look. 1647 01:13:03,585 --> 01:13:06,210 I remember I was crying so, 1648 01:13:06,293 --> 01:13:08,126 and there was a man-- I don't know who-- 1649 01:13:08,210 --> 01:13:09,961 who he belonged to, whatever, 1650 01:13:10,043 --> 01:13:12,794 and I remember he-- he was, like, trying to-- 1651 01:13:12,877 --> 01:13:15,002 "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry." 1652 01:13:15,085 --> 01:13:18,002 - As soon as the opening credits started rolling, 1653 01:13:18,085 --> 01:13:19,543 Elaine just buried her head in my shoulder 1654 01:13:19,627 --> 01:13:21,002 and started bawling her eyes out. 1655 01:13:21,085 --> 01:13:23,627 "That's my baby, that's my baby, that's my baby." 1656 01:13:23,710 --> 01:13:25,710 - We were all just confused 1657 01:13:25,794 --> 01:13:28,669 by how that could be a part of this world, 1658 01:13:28,752 --> 01:13:31,794 that this murder could be anywhere connected 1659 01:13:31,877 --> 01:13:37,460 to this movie that was so much about life. 1660 01:13:37,543 --> 01:13:40,085 - Oh, my God. Here it is. 1661 01:13:40,168 --> 01:13:44,002 A character and script and story and everything 1662 01:13:44,085 --> 01:13:46,168 that I know so well. 1663 01:13:46,252 --> 01:13:50,168 It just seemed simultaneously 1664 01:13:50,252 --> 01:13:52,627 magical and unfair. 1665 01:13:53,961 --> 01:13:56,502 - Everywhere we went, people gave you 1666 01:13:56,585 --> 01:14:00,585 such effusive compliments about being in "Waitress." 1667 01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,710 I mean, I got into every suite, 1668 01:14:02,794 --> 01:14:04,043 I got into every party-- 1669 01:14:04,126 --> 01:14:05,543 "Oh, you're in 'Waitress,' aren't you?" 1670 01:14:05,627 --> 01:14:07,335 I mean, it was the darling. 1671 01:14:07,418 --> 01:14:12,919 - Here was the success of this film 1672 01:14:13,002 --> 01:14:16,168 by a woman who struggled as a filmmaker 1673 01:14:16,252 --> 01:14:17,877 to get to this point. 1674 01:14:17,961 --> 01:14:19,669 This was gonna be her moment. 1675 01:14:19,752 --> 01:14:21,669 How are we here 1676 01:14:21,752 --> 01:14:23,377 and she's not? 1677 01:14:23,460 --> 01:14:26,460 [soft music] 1678 01:14:28,168 --> 01:14:32,919 I wanted her there, so I took a little vial 1679 01:14:33,002 --> 01:14:35,418 of her ashes. 1680 01:14:35,502 --> 01:14:37,752 And I got up really early that day 1681 01:14:37,835 --> 01:14:40,126 and went to the top of the hill, 1682 01:14:40,210 --> 01:14:43,085 stood in the middle of the street, 1683 01:14:43,168 --> 01:14:46,085 and just, like, walked the yellow line 1684 01:14:46,168 --> 01:14:48,085 and just... 1685 01:14:48,168 --> 01:14:49,752 threw her ashes in the air. 1686 01:14:49,835 --> 01:14:53,043 - No, you never told me that. - All the way down the street. 1687 01:14:53,126 --> 01:14:57,418 And then that night, I brought the little vial again, 1688 01:14:57,502 --> 01:15:00,043 and because I wanted her in the theater. 1689 01:15:00,126 --> 01:15:02,043 This was her moment. 1690 01:15:05,168 --> 01:15:06,877 It was her-- her premiere. 1691 01:15:06,961 --> 01:15:08,585 She had to be there. 1692 01:15:11,502 --> 01:15:15,627 And I remember throwing ashes in--in the air, 1693 01:15:15,710 --> 01:15:17,627 and Harvey Weinstein walked right by. 1694 01:15:17,710 --> 01:15:19,418 And they landed on his-- - Whoa. 1695 01:15:19,502 --> 01:15:21,252 - On his shoulders. 1696 01:15:21,335 --> 01:15:26,335 And I just, like, started laughing on the inside, 1697 01:15:26,418 --> 01:15:29,752 because I just-- like, literally it was as if 1698 01:15:29,835 --> 01:15:32,752 Adrienne was right next to me 1699 01:15:32,835 --> 01:15:37,585 laughing and thinking that was the funniest thing ever. 1700 01:15:41,126 --> 01:15:44,710 - I started out saying, "I'm never ever going to speak 1701 01:15:44,794 --> 01:15:46,919 "like it's harder because I'm a woman. 1702 01:15:47,043 --> 01:15:50,210 That's the last thing I'm ever, ever gonna do." 1703 01:15:50,293 --> 01:15:54,002 And then, you know, five years later, I was saying, 1704 01:15:54,085 --> 01:15:56,210 "You know, it really is much harder because I'm a woman, 1705 01:15:56,293 --> 01:15:58,335 "much harder, and I want everyone to know. 1706 01:15:58,418 --> 01:16:00,502 And I want to talk about it constantly." 1707 01:16:00,585 --> 01:16:04,627 And--and then, now I'm sort of back to feeling 1708 01:16:04,710 --> 01:16:06,377 like it's hard for everybody. 1709 01:16:06,460 --> 01:16:08,627 It's hard. It's a hard business. 1710 01:16:14,377 --> 01:16:16,460 - I just made a decision early on 1711 01:16:16,543 --> 01:16:21,961 that I not only need to accept what happened, 1712 01:16:22,043 --> 01:16:25,919 in that "shit happens, life's not fair" kind of way, 1713 01:16:26,002 --> 01:16:28,961 but also try to spin some gold from it, 1714 01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:32,919 to turn what is probably the most horrifying negative 1715 01:16:33,002 --> 01:16:35,002 I'll ever experience in my life 1716 01:16:35,085 --> 01:16:38,377 to something positive somewhere, somehow. 1717 01:16:38,460 --> 01:16:42,877 Um, so that's what got me started very early on 1718 01:16:42,961 --> 01:16:47,335 on creating a foundation to support women filmmakers. 1719 01:16:52,126 --> 01:16:55,043 [Sara Bareilles' "Opening Up"] 1720 01:16:56,710 --> 01:17:01,669 - 2007, saw that film, loved the characters, 1721 01:17:01,752 --> 01:17:03,835 felt for them, cared about them. 1722 01:17:03,919 --> 01:17:07,002 The storytelling, of course, a wonderful story. 1723 01:17:07,085 --> 01:17:08,835 It felt like those characters would reach 1724 01:17:08,919 --> 01:17:11,252 an emotional moment in their lives 1725 01:17:11,335 --> 01:17:15,293 where they had to burst out in song or dance. 1726 01:17:15,377 --> 01:17:16,961 - The day starts like the rest we've seen 1727 01:17:17,043 --> 01:17:19,961 Another carbon copy of an old routine 1728 01:17:20,043 --> 01:17:22,627 - Days keep coming - One out, one in 1729 01:17:22,710 --> 01:17:23,961 all: They keep coming 1730 01:17:24,043 --> 01:17:26,460 - Make that coffee strong enough to chew. 1731 01:17:28,002 --> 01:17:30,168 - I think in the year 2019, 1732 01:17:30,252 --> 01:17:34,002 we'll be 1,300 performances deep into our Broadway run. 1733 01:17:34,085 --> 01:17:36,710 I mean, that's preposterous. 1734 01:17:36,794 --> 01:17:40,168 - It was always really precious to us 1735 01:17:40,252 --> 01:17:43,835 to maintain the integrity of-- of her mission statement 1736 01:17:43,919 --> 01:17:47,543 and the sort of bold feminism of it. 1737 01:17:47,627 --> 01:17:52,168 - It's delivered with such humor and fantasy 1738 01:17:52,252 --> 01:17:56,168 with Jenna's pies, and it's just 1739 01:17:56,252 --> 01:17:59,293 got its own signature tone. 1740 01:17:59,377 --> 01:18:02,460 - There's victory-- there's human victory here 1741 01:18:02,543 --> 01:18:04,293 in--of the best kind. 1742 01:18:04,377 --> 01:18:06,293 - Sugar 1743 01:18:09,835 --> 01:18:14,126 Sugar, butter, flour 1744 01:18:17,377 --> 01:18:19,460 - I did a lot of talking to Adrienne. 1745 01:18:19,543 --> 01:18:22,752 I--like, out loud, at the piano, 1746 01:18:22,835 --> 01:18:25,752 come on in, come play, come play with me. 1747 01:18:25,835 --> 01:18:27,377 Let's create something. 1748 01:18:27,460 --> 01:18:30,252 - She is messy 1749 01:18:30,335 --> 01:18:33,418 But she's kind 1750 01:18:33,502 --> 01:18:37,168 She is lonely 1751 01:18:37,252 --> 01:18:39,627 Most of the time 1752 01:18:39,710 --> 01:18:44,335 She is all of this mixed up and baked 1753 01:18:44,418 --> 01:18:48,377 In a beautiful pie 1754 01:18:48,460 --> 01:18:52,377 She is gone, but she used to be 1755 01:18:52,460 --> 01:18:56,418 Mine 1756 01:18:56,502 --> 01:19:00,835 - Jenna's someone who is endlessly loyal and caretaking 1757 01:19:00,919 --> 01:19:03,377 and self-diminishing. 1758 01:19:03,460 --> 01:19:04,460 - The queen of kindness. 1759 01:19:04,543 --> 01:19:06,126 - The queen of kindness and goodness 1760 01:19:06,210 --> 01:19:07,502 to--to a fault. 1761 01:19:07,585 --> 01:19:10,794 It's then so powerful to watch that person, 1762 01:19:10,877 --> 01:19:13,961 which we can all relate to in some way, shape, or form, 1763 01:19:14,043 --> 01:19:16,085 rise above that limitation. 1764 01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:18,877 And to watch it be a happy ending, it's so nice. 1765 01:19:18,961 --> 01:19:21,543 - But used to be 1766 01:19:21,627 --> 01:19:28,585 Mine 1767 01:19:30,752 --> 01:19:33,418 Oh, used to be 1768 01:19:33,502 --> 01:19:40,418 Mine 1769 01:19:45,418 --> 01:19:50,961 We just had this goal of honoring her. 1770 01:19:51,043 --> 01:19:53,669 And whenever things would get tough-- 1771 01:19:53,752 --> 01:19:57,502 I remember at one point, I had a sticky up on my mirror 1772 01:19:57,585 --> 01:20:00,377 in Broadway that said, "It's for Adrienne." 1773 01:20:00,460 --> 01:20:07,126 Mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie 1774 01:20:09,043 --> 01:20:12,085 She is gone 1775 01:20:12,168 --> 01:20:15,377 But she used to be 1776 01:20:15,460 --> 01:20:20,877 Mine 1777 01:20:20,961 --> 01:20:23,210 [applause] 1778 01:20:23,293 --> 01:20:27,002 - I want to take a moment to talk about the fifth, uh, 1779 01:20:27,085 --> 01:20:29,961 female on the team, and that's Adrienne Shelly. 1780 01:20:30,043 --> 01:20:33,002 [cheers and applause] 1781 01:20:36,794 --> 01:20:39,418 For those of who don't know, but I think most of you do, 1782 01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:43,168 Adrienne wrote, directed, and was one of the stars 1783 01:20:43,252 --> 01:20:46,460 of the movie "Waitress," and she died 1784 01:20:46,543 --> 01:20:49,126 before the movie was bought at Sundance, 1785 01:20:49,210 --> 01:20:52,919 before she could experience how embraced 1786 01:20:53,002 --> 01:20:55,293 her beautiful gem that she created was-- 1787 01:20:55,377 --> 01:20:57,502 this beautiful pie she created. 1788 01:20:57,585 --> 01:21:00,794 And she wrote this movie before the Me Too movement, 1789 01:21:00,877 --> 01:21:03,585 when stories about quiet bravery of women 1790 01:21:03,669 --> 01:21:05,252 were deemed unimportant. 1791 01:21:05,335 --> 01:21:08,293 And they were impossible to get made, and she got it made. 1792 01:21:08,377 --> 01:21:11,460 To Adrienne, I think I speak for all of us when I say, 1793 01:21:11,543 --> 01:21:13,418 as we all look up, 1794 01:21:13,502 --> 01:21:15,794 thank you for taking us to the moon, moon pie. 1795 01:21:15,877 --> 01:21:18,877 [cheers and applause] 1796 01:21:23,085 --> 01:21:27,835 - I was sobbing the whole time watching the show. 1797 01:21:27,919 --> 01:21:31,002 And towards the end, I felt paralyzed. 1798 01:21:31,085 --> 01:21:33,502 Like, I didn't want to leave the theater. 1799 01:21:33,585 --> 01:21:35,460 I couldn't leave. 1800 01:21:35,543 --> 01:21:38,168 Uh, and eventually, I made my way out, 1801 01:21:38,252 --> 01:21:40,710 and again, I was, like, hanging around. 1802 01:21:40,794 --> 01:21:42,919 I didn't know for what. Like, I just didn't want 1803 01:21:43,002 --> 01:21:45,252 to leave the theater. It was such-- 1804 01:21:45,335 --> 01:21:48,252 I don't know, this was like my connection 1805 01:21:48,335 --> 01:21:52,168 with Adrienne, this is, you know, my last kind of... 1806 01:21:54,085 --> 01:21:55,794 Time with her. 1807 01:21:58,210 --> 01:22:00,669 - The thing that I picked up from working with Hal, 1808 01:22:00,752 --> 01:22:05,752 he gave me a--you know, a sort of way to drop my own timidity, 1809 01:22:05,835 --> 01:22:09,710 you know, to--to understand how important it is to-- 1810 01:22:09,794 --> 01:22:12,168 if--when you're-- when you're making a film, 1811 01:22:12,252 --> 01:22:15,752 that you should ask for what it is you want, you know, 1812 01:22:15,835 --> 01:22:19,043 and to not sort of shy away from what your own, 1813 01:22:19,126 --> 01:22:20,710 uh, ideas are. 1814 01:22:20,794 --> 01:22:23,543 His films are unique and they could only be made by him. 1815 01:22:23,627 --> 01:22:26,293 And I'm hoping that one day, 1816 01:22:26,377 --> 01:22:29,210 someone might say that about me too. 1817 01:22:31,252 --> 01:22:34,210 [suspenseful music] 1818 01:22:45,418 --> 01:22:47,293 - Did you ever meet Pillco? 1819 01:22:47,377 --> 01:22:49,252 - I saw him in court a couple of times. 1820 01:22:49,335 --> 01:22:51,418 - Can I see him? Show me a picture of him. 1821 01:22:51,502 --> 01:22:53,585 - Yeah, if that's what you want. 1822 01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:55,961 - Will you ever meet him? - Yes, someday. 1823 01:22:56,043 --> 01:22:57,126 Not to forgive him 1824 01:22:57,210 --> 01:22:58,961 but to learn the truth about what he did 1825 01:22:59,043 --> 01:23:01,168 and make him know how special Mommy was. 1826 01:23:01,252 --> 01:23:02,752 - I'd never forgive him. 1827 01:23:02,835 --> 01:23:04,085 And when you show me his picture, 1828 01:23:04,168 --> 01:23:07,293 we should draw a mustache, elf ears, and devil horns on it. 1829 01:23:09,627 --> 01:23:11,543 [phone rings] 1830 01:23:11,627 --> 01:23:13,710 - Here's Sophie. 1831 01:23:13,794 --> 01:23:15,627 Hey, Shmoph. - Hi. 1832 01:23:15,710 --> 01:23:17,377 How are you feeling about today? 1833 01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:20,377 - I'm a little nervous but not as nervous 1834 01:23:20,460 --> 01:23:22,919 as I think I'll probably feel when I see the prison. 1835 01:23:23,002 --> 01:23:24,710 - Yeah. Text me if you want. 1836 01:23:24,794 --> 01:23:27,168 - Okay. I love you so much. 1837 01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:28,252 - Okay, I love you too so much. 1838 01:23:28,335 --> 01:23:29,293 Good luck. 1839 01:23:30,669 --> 01:23:35,252 - Now, I'm not coming here 'cause I need to beat him up. 1840 01:23:35,335 --> 01:23:37,669 Just want him to be honest. 1841 01:23:37,752 --> 01:23:41,293 You know, I want him to shed light on stuff, 1842 01:23:41,377 --> 01:23:46,168 and I want him to acknowledge what he did 1843 01:23:46,252 --> 01:23:50,293 and who he took and the consequence of that. 1844 01:23:53,585 --> 01:23:55,752 It'd be funny if everything I said just goes out the window 1845 01:23:55,835 --> 01:23:58,418 and I fly into some fucking rage. 1846 01:23:58,502 --> 01:24:00,460 Have to be carted out of there 1847 01:24:00,543 --> 01:24:02,126 and that's the end of the interview. 1848 01:24:04,335 --> 01:24:07,335 [tense music] 1849 01:24:14,252 --> 01:24:16,460 I think I wanna vomit. 1850 01:24:47,710 --> 01:24:50,252 13 years ago, Adrienne died. 1851 01:24:54,961 --> 01:24:57,627 Part of me died that day. 1852 01:24:58,877 --> 01:25:00,877 There's some things I--I-- I need to know, 1853 01:25:00,961 --> 01:25:03,252 some things I'd like to know. 1854 01:25:03,335 --> 01:25:06,126 There's also some things I'd like you to know. 1855 01:25:06,210 --> 01:25:08,126 That's really why I'm here today. 1856 01:25:10,293 --> 01:25:11,794 I'm not here to attack you. 1857 01:25:11,877 --> 01:25:13,669 I'm just here to share 1858 01:25:13,752 --> 01:25:17,377 what I've had in my head for 13 years. 1859 01:25:18,168 --> 01:25:20,460 I'm sure you've had a lot to think about too. 1860 01:25:21,710 --> 01:25:23,502 - I'm sorry. 1861 01:25:25,585 --> 01:25:28,835 I wish I could go back and change things. 1862 01:25:28,919 --> 01:25:30,502 I can't. 1863 01:25:31,794 --> 01:25:34,418 [speaking Spanish] 1864 01:25:34,502 --> 01:25:37,210 - I was never aggressive. 1865 01:25:37,293 --> 01:25:39,002 I never hurt anyone. 1866 01:25:40,710 --> 01:25:46,919 - I need to understand how someone like you, 1867 01:25:47,002 --> 01:25:49,919 who says he never hurt anyone-- 1868 01:25:50,002 --> 01:25:51,126 help me understand how you-- 1869 01:25:51,210 --> 01:25:53,543 how you turned into a murderer that day. 1870 01:25:53,627 --> 01:25:56,627 - [speaking Spanish] 1871 01:25:58,627 --> 01:26:02,710 - I came to this country owing $13,500. 1872 01:26:07,627 --> 01:26:11,252 My mom put my-- put her house in the bank 1873 01:26:11,335 --> 01:26:12,919 so that I could have money. 1874 01:26:18,752 --> 01:26:22,126 I was looking to find how am I gonna send the money. 1875 01:26:25,043 --> 01:26:27,418 I started working in apartments. 1876 01:26:35,210 --> 01:26:38,043 And one day, I saw someone come out of the apartments. 1877 01:26:41,710 --> 01:26:44,710 And I said to myself, "I'm gonna go in to look for money." 1878 01:26:44,794 --> 01:26:48,794 - So you were looking 1879 01:26:48,877 --> 01:26:53,002 to rob apartments that day? 1880 01:26:53,085 --> 01:26:56,126 - [speaking Spanish] 1881 01:26:57,460 --> 01:26:59,126 - I had been doing it for a while, 1882 01:26:59,210 --> 01:27:01,669 since I started needing money. 1883 01:27:03,835 --> 01:27:05,961 Nothing ever happened-- - In that building or anywhere? 1884 01:27:06,043 --> 01:27:09,335 - [speaking Spanish] - Everywhere. 1885 01:27:09,418 --> 01:27:11,961 Wherever they put me to work. 1886 01:27:15,585 --> 01:27:18,835 That day, they sent me to work where she lived-- 1887 01:27:18,919 --> 01:27:20,877 where your wife lived. 1888 01:27:24,043 --> 01:27:28,043 So when I put my ear to the door, the door opened. 1889 01:27:33,210 --> 01:27:34,752 I was afraid that I was gonna get caught, 1890 01:27:34,835 --> 01:27:36,210 but then I saw a bag. 1891 01:27:39,961 --> 01:27:42,502 When I took out the money, I put the bag back in. 1892 01:27:47,293 --> 01:27:51,418 And that's when the lady came out and she ran after me. 1893 01:27:55,418 --> 01:27:57,085 And when she started yelling at me... 1894 01:28:00,377 --> 01:28:03,919 The only word that I heard that she said was "police." 1895 01:28:09,252 --> 01:28:10,627 She went to grab the phone. 1896 01:28:14,627 --> 01:28:16,460 I got behind her and covered her mouth 1897 01:28:16,543 --> 01:28:18,377 and told her not to call the police. 1898 01:28:21,335 --> 01:28:24,377 I lost my mind. I lost it. 1899 01:28:27,460 --> 01:28:29,418 And I was choking her with my hand. 1900 01:28:32,627 --> 01:28:34,794 At the same time, I was covering her mouth... 1901 01:28:36,502 --> 01:28:38,043 So that she wouldn't make noise. 1902 01:28:40,919 --> 01:28:43,085 I took my hand off, 1903 01:28:43,168 --> 01:28:44,543 and I let her go. 1904 01:28:45,961 --> 01:28:47,460 And I saw her-- 1905 01:28:48,961 --> 01:28:50,460 That her-- 1906 01:28:50,543 --> 01:28:52,377 her lips were blue. 1907 01:28:54,460 --> 01:28:56,460 Then I thought, "Oh, I killed her." 1908 01:28:59,460 --> 01:29:01,627 And I took her to the bathroom. 1909 01:29:05,252 --> 01:29:08,210 And then I hung her like if she committed suicide. 1910 01:29:08,293 --> 01:29:10,585 - Did you think you got-- you got away with it? 1911 01:29:10,669 --> 01:29:13,377 - [speaking Spanish] - Yes. 1912 01:29:14,877 --> 01:29:17,168 - I want to show you some pictures. 1913 01:29:19,543 --> 01:29:21,085 You took a wife. 1914 01:29:23,252 --> 01:29:25,877 You took someone who I was madly in love with. 1915 01:29:27,835 --> 01:29:30,210 You took a mother. 1916 01:29:30,293 --> 01:29:32,961 That's my daughter with her mom. 1917 01:29:33,043 --> 01:29:35,460 They don't have anything anymore. 1918 01:29:37,043 --> 01:29:39,085 And they had everything. 1919 01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:46,168 That was taken October 31st. 1920 01:29:46,252 --> 01:29:48,293 That was the day before you killed her. 1921 01:29:52,585 --> 01:29:54,502 Adrienne missed a lot. 1922 01:29:54,585 --> 01:29:56,502 She missed birthdays. 1923 01:29:56,585 --> 01:30:00,502 That's the first birthday after her mom left her. 1924 01:30:00,585 --> 01:30:03,585 This is a recent birthday, still no mom. 1925 01:30:05,543 --> 01:30:08,002 This is what she was left with--me. 1926 01:30:08,085 --> 01:30:10,418 Just me. 1927 01:30:11,710 --> 01:30:15,126 First day she rode a bike. Her mom wasn't there for that. 1928 01:30:15,210 --> 01:30:17,794 First days of school. 1929 01:30:17,877 --> 01:30:20,126 Mommy wasn't there for that. 1930 01:30:20,210 --> 01:30:22,877 She's a damn good soccer player. 1931 01:30:22,961 --> 01:30:26,210 Mommy's never seen any of her games. 1932 01:30:26,293 --> 01:30:29,669 This is-- this is the life you took away. 1933 01:30:38,252 --> 01:30:41,168 [somber music] 1934 01:30:46,627 --> 01:30:48,252 Okay. I'm done. 1935 01:30:50,460 --> 01:30:54,502 - [speaking Spanish] - I'm sorry. 1936 01:30:54,585 --> 01:30:56,168 - Stand up. 1937 01:31:20,168 --> 01:31:21,710 [door slams] 1938 01:31:28,335 --> 01:31:30,543 - I remember being very young, 1939 01:31:30,627 --> 01:31:34,126 and I just wanted to know exactly what happened. 1940 01:31:36,293 --> 01:31:38,460 - What did Mommy look like when you found her? 1941 01:31:38,543 --> 01:31:40,252 - She looked bad. 1942 01:31:40,335 --> 01:31:42,710 - Where was she? - In the bathroom. 1943 01:31:42,794 --> 01:31:44,377 - How did he kill her? - He strangled her 1944 01:31:44,460 --> 01:31:45,543 and put a rope around her neck 1945 01:31:45,627 --> 01:31:47,460 so it'd look like she killed herself. 1946 01:31:47,543 --> 01:31:49,961 But no one believed that. She loved you so much 1947 01:31:50,043 --> 01:31:51,293 and would never have left you. 1948 01:31:51,377 --> 01:31:53,835 - I bet it was scary. - It was. 1949 01:31:53,919 --> 01:31:56,002 - What did you tell me when she died? 1950 01:31:56,085 --> 01:31:57,335 - I told you her body stopped working 1951 01:31:57,418 --> 01:31:58,669 and she wasn't coming home. 1952 01:31:58,752 --> 01:32:00,126 - Did I know what dying meant? 1953 01:32:00,210 --> 01:32:02,460 - No. - That was good, right? 1954 01:32:02,543 --> 01:32:04,877 - Yeah. You were so little. 1955 01:32:08,502 --> 01:32:11,585 - How often do I think about him in my life? 1956 01:32:11,669 --> 01:32:13,043 Every day. 1957 01:32:13,126 --> 01:32:16,126 Whenever I think of her, I think of him. 1958 01:32:16,210 --> 01:32:19,752 But it's also different, because I'm grieving her 1959 01:32:19,835 --> 01:32:21,377 in a different way 1960 01:32:21,460 --> 01:32:23,502 and more so kind of. 1961 01:32:24,877 --> 01:32:27,752 both: One, two, three. 1962 01:32:27,835 --> 01:32:31,168 - She's entering an age where, you know, 1963 01:32:31,252 --> 01:32:34,669 nobody can take the place of a mother, 1964 01:32:34,752 --> 01:32:39,335 and I'm sure she... wishes she were here 1965 01:32:39,418 --> 01:32:43,877 and needs her for so many different things. 1966 01:32:43,961 --> 01:32:47,168 - If you could bring Mommy back for one day tomorrow, 1967 01:32:47,252 --> 01:32:49,335 what would you get up and do? 1968 01:32:50,543 --> 01:32:52,293 - Um... 1969 01:32:53,543 --> 01:32:54,835 Just walk around. 1970 01:32:54,919 --> 01:32:56,085 - Mm-hmm. 1971 01:32:57,168 --> 01:32:59,126 Would you guys talk a lot? - Yeah. 1972 01:32:59,210 --> 01:33:00,961 - What would you tell her? 1973 01:33:12,627 --> 01:33:15,877 - I don't know. Just whatever came to mind. 1974 01:33:15,961 --> 01:33:18,502 'Cause I could, you know? - Mm-hmm. 1975 01:33:20,961 --> 01:33:25,210 I struggle with the concept of closure. 1976 01:33:25,293 --> 01:33:29,085 My life will always be about grief. 1977 01:33:29,168 --> 01:33:31,335 You know? There will always be 1978 01:33:31,418 --> 01:33:33,085 that ghost in the room. 1979 01:33:33,168 --> 01:33:37,002 The love that I had at that time, it didn't go anywhere. 1980 01:33:37,085 --> 01:33:43,210 It just, like, froze. Like, she is frozen in time. 1981 01:33:43,293 --> 01:33:45,669 - Every morning, we talk. 1982 01:33:45,752 --> 01:33:47,502 She helps me. 1983 01:33:47,585 --> 01:33:48,835 I loved her. 1984 01:33:48,919 --> 01:33:51,126 I loved her. 1985 01:33:52,168 --> 01:33:55,710 I can't even believe it sometimes. 1986 01:33:55,794 --> 01:33:57,418 She's so alive. 1987 01:33:57,502 --> 01:34:00,043 She was so alive, Andy. She was so alive. 1988 01:34:00,126 --> 01:34:02,043 - I think about her every day. 1989 01:34:02,126 --> 01:34:04,752 I think about my girls' pain in not knowing their aunt, 1990 01:34:04,835 --> 01:34:06,919 Sophie's pain. 1991 01:34:07,002 --> 01:34:11,835 - To me, her greatest joy was that child. 1992 01:34:14,085 --> 01:34:16,252 - She's a little wind-up toy. 1993 01:34:16,335 --> 01:34:21,085 - So to watch Sophie grow into this incredible woman 1994 01:34:21,168 --> 01:34:25,126 is terribly painful. 1995 01:34:25,210 --> 01:34:27,377 And beautiful, because she's such an amazing kid 1996 01:34:27,460 --> 01:34:29,210 and has so much of Adrienne in her 1997 01:34:29,293 --> 01:34:32,043 and all the mannerisms and all the sweetness 1998 01:34:32,126 --> 01:34:33,418 and the silliness 1999 01:34:33,502 --> 01:34:35,835 and sense of humor and all of that, 2000 01:34:35,919 --> 01:34:38,752 but Adrienne not getting to have that... 2001 01:34:38,835 --> 01:34:40,293 - Mm-hmm. 2002 01:34:40,377 --> 01:34:42,168 - Is worse than anything to me. 2003 01:34:44,585 --> 01:34:47,168 - She was getting more and more confident in her life 2004 01:34:47,252 --> 01:34:50,002 as a mom, a wife, and all that, 2005 01:34:50,085 --> 01:34:52,877 but in her-- her creative life too, 2006 01:34:52,961 --> 01:34:56,794 she had a very clear idea where she wanted to go. 2007 01:34:57,794 --> 01:35:00,085 - She craved making great work. 2008 01:35:00,168 --> 01:35:02,794 She craved having her voice heard 2009 01:35:02,877 --> 01:35:05,085 and her vision be out there. 2010 01:35:05,835 --> 01:35:08,585 - You just-- with certain people, you know 2011 01:35:08,669 --> 01:35:11,293 certain things are gonna happen if they continue on. 2012 01:35:12,627 --> 01:35:13,585 - Do you hear that? 2013 01:35:13,669 --> 01:35:16,168 - With Adrienne, it's always gonna be 2014 01:35:16,252 --> 01:35:18,877 the what could've been, what was. 2015 01:35:24,252 --> 01:35:29,377 - I just have a very specific kind of satisfaction 2016 01:35:29,460 --> 01:35:32,543 when I walk around midtown and see "Waitress" 2017 01:35:32,627 --> 01:35:35,335 on a Broadway marquee. 2018 01:35:35,418 --> 01:35:38,460 The majority of people that are going to see that show 2019 01:35:38,543 --> 01:35:42,168 every day come from all different walks of life. 2020 01:35:42,252 --> 01:35:44,210 They don't know her story. They don't even know 2021 01:35:44,293 --> 01:35:46,710 what the deal is behind "Waitress." 2022 01:35:46,794 --> 01:35:48,835 And judging it completely on its own merits... 2023 01:35:48,919 --> 01:35:50,585 - Well, sure. - And having an incredible 2024 01:35:50,669 --> 01:35:53,669 experience as an artist, 2025 01:35:53,752 --> 01:35:57,043 that's the best we can hope for. 2026 01:35:57,126 --> 01:36:02,418 In that regard, what an incredible thing she's done. 2027 01:36:04,168 --> 01:36:08,835 - Creative desire. Create life and celebrate life 2028 01:36:08,919 --> 01:36:11,043 and contribute to the world. 2029 01:36:11,126 --> 01:36:13,919 It's part of, you know, being a woman. 2030 01:36:14,002 --> 01:36:17,085 It's part of being a human being, I think. 2031 01:36:19,293 --> 01:36:20,460 - After we do this interview, 2032 01:36:20,543 --> 01:36:22,085 I'm just gonna give you this tape, you know? 2033 01:36:22,168 --> 01:36:26,168 And you can have it and, uh, maybe, like, one day perhaps 2034 01:36:26,252 --> 01:36:29,168 there's an off-chance that your children might see it. 2035 01:36:29,252 --> 01:36:32,210 - Mm, mm, mm! Delicious baby. 2036 01:36:32,293 --> 01:36:35,126 - What would you, if anything, want them to know 2037 01:36:35,210 --> 01:36:39,377 or understand about you at this point in your life? 2038 01:36:40,961 --> 01:36:43,418 - That I--you know, I-- I don't have them yet, 2039 01:36:43,502 --> 01:36:48,085 but I... I'm thinking of them. 2040 01:36:48,168 --> 01:36:49,252 You know? 2041 01:36:49,335 --> 01:36:53,502 I really want them to have a good life. 2042 01:37:00,085 --> 01:37:04,794 Yeah, their mother starred in some movies and... 2043 01:37:04,877 --> 01:37:08,210 was on magazine covers and... 2044 01:37:08,293 --> 01:37:11,835 was admired by a few people, 2045 01:37:11,919 --> 01:37:14,002 but, uh, 2046 01:37:14,085 --> 01:37:18,961 none of that she considers as important as they will be. 2047 01:37:20,502 --> 01:37:22,293 - All right. - All right, say bye-bye. 2048 01:37:22,377 --> 01:37:24,126 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 2049 01:37:24,210 --> 01:37:26,502 - All right, bye, camera. - Say bye-bye. 2050 01:37:26,585 --> 01:37:28,002 - Sophie, can you wave? 2051 01:37:28,085 --> 01:37:29,418 Can you wave bye-bye to the camera? 2052 01:37:29,502 --> 01:37:32,126 - Wave bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 2053 01:37:41,877 --> 01:37:44,752 [expressive piano music] 2054 01:39:36,002 --> 01:39:38,502 [bright tone]