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[Joe] Did you know
that The Crown is actually actors?
4
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,762
No way.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,014
-Yeah.
-Unbelievable.
6
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,306
Nick, you want some eggs?
7
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,809
No, I'm all good, bro.
I'm having an a-kai bowl.
8
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:21,604
It's a natural antioxidant,
and it's delicious.
9
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,481
Ah! Check out Mr. Hollywood over here.
10
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,026
Yeah. Gwyneth called.
Uh, you're late for your vagina steaming.
11
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,738
[laughs mockingly] Good one.
12
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,574
By the way, Nick,
it's actually pronounced "açai."
13
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,200
No, it's not.
14
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,786
It's definitely not that. It's "a-kai."
15
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:40,999
Actually, I think
the correct pronunciation is quinoa.
16
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,500
What are you talking about?
17
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,210
It's a-kai.
18
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,754
-A-kai?
-A-kai.
19
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,088
-Quinoa.
-[Nick] Can we stop?
20
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,256
[Joe] God, you smell bad.
21
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,842
You know what?
We should not be arguing like this.
22
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,678
We're grown men.
We shouldn't be bickering--
23
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:59,142
-He just throw a pancake at my face?
-He just threw a pancake at your face.
24
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,895
[upbeat music playing]
25
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,483
Take it!
26
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,777
[all grunting]
27
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,449
[grunts] Hey!
28
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:15,992
Okay, boys.
29
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,077
[ominous music playing]
30
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,036
You wanna do this?
31
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,080
Let's take it to the basement.
32
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,792
Gentlemen, welcome
to Jonas Brothers Fight Club.
33
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,753
There's a few rules
about Jonas Brothers Fight Club.
34
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,047
First rule of Jonas Brothers Fight Club
35
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,007
is we don't talk
about Jonas Brothers Fight Club.
36
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,635
-["Sucker" ringtone playing]
-Second rule of Jonas Brothers Fight--
37
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:34,803
Hey, babe.
38
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,305
Yeah.
No, I'm just in Jonas Brothers Fight Club.
39
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,433
It's pretty cool. We're in our basement.
40
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,769
Um, there's all these secret rules.
41
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,312
-Dude.
-What?
42
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:45,939
Secret rules.
43
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,192
-Oh, the rules… Oh!
-Yeah.
44
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,570
I'll call you back. Love you. Love you.
Yeah. Love you, bye.
45
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:54,572
Sorry. You were saying?
46
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,242
[Mom] Boys!
You better not be messing up the basement
47
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,786
doing your stupid fight club again.
48
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:00,995
No, we're not doing that.
49
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,163
-[Kevin] Never.
-We're just…
50
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,290
-We're watching porn together.
-What?
51
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,252
Way to think on your feet.
This guy. [sighs]
52
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,629
Oh, yeah. And third
and most important rule,
53
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,673
no punches to the face.
We're too pretty for that.
54
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:12,590
-Obviously.
-Duh.
55
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,175
I mean, have you seen this face?
56
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,760
-All right.
-[Nick] Let's do this thing.
57
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,761
Come on.
58
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,597
[dramatic music plays]
59
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,226
Wait. What are we even doing?
60
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,061
We're meant to be brothers.
61
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,771
Brothers don't do this.
62
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,690
They do this.
63
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,734
Loki, why have you done this?
64
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,112
Loki, why have you done this?
65
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072
-You're not Thor.
-Of course, I'm Thor.
66
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,032
Oh, you thought I was going to be Loki?
67
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,618
[chuckles] I think it's obvious
in this family who Loki is.
68
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,329
Loki, why have you done this?
69
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,456
Oh, come on. Kevin, seriously?
70
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,083
Guys, I'm heroic.
71
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,502
Didn't you see how I handled
Dani's sister's graduation
72
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,421
in Season 2 of Married to Jonas?
73
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,256
Wait, they made two seasons
of that bullshit?
74
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:55,800
Guys, stop!
75
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,760
Let's handle this properly.
76
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,555
Well, of course you brought us
to Camp Rock.
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00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,766
The one you starred in.
Such a middle child move.
78
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,560
So thirsty for attention.
79
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,478
[chuckles smugly] What can I say?
80
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,230
The camera loves me.
81
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,440
Can we just focus, guys?
82
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,277
Guys, I wanted us to come back here
because this is where we connected.
83
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,529
This is where we can heal
84
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,156
as bandmates and brothers.
85
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,117
And also, get on stage and rock out
in a wholesome way.
86
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:25,997
So what do you say, guys?
Let's get out there and rock this camp!
87
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,248
Yeah!
88
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,625
Guys, I am so proud of us.
89
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,753
I think we all learned a lesson
about brotherly love.
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,380
I'm gonna get a coffee.
You guys want anything?
91
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,091
-I'll take an espresso.
-It's actually pronounced "expresso."
92
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,554
I will crush you faster than--
93
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,766
They had to do
with all your unsold solo albums.
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00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:45,725
Yes.
95
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:49,228
[scoffs] Don't act like I don't see
who you are under all that.
96
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,563
Bogus Jonas.
97
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,607
You can see something
underneath those eyebrows?
98
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,526
-[grumbles]
-[all yelling]
99
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,278
[Kenan Thompson] Guys! Guys!
100
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,948
I've got a much better way
to get this out of your system.
101
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,533
[upbeat music playing]
102
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[announcer] The host of our show,
Kenan Thompson!
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[cheering and applauding]
104
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Hello, hello, hello! [laughs]
105
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Oh, snap.
106
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,131
What's going on, everybody? [chuckles]
107
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Hello, hello. Good evening. Good evening.
Hello, sir. Good to see you.
108
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Good to see you. Sit. Sit.
That's too much. That's too much.
109
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Thank you very much.
110
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,018
All right. Welcome
to the Jonas Brothers Family Roast.
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I am your host, Kenan Thompson.
112
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-[audience cheers]
-Thank you very much.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
the Jonas Brothers are here.
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-[audience cheers]
-That's right.
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That's right.
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Tonight we will be joined
by Pete Davidson,
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Lilly Singh,
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Jack Whitehall,
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John Legend,
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Niall Horan,
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and Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias!
122
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This is a family affair.
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So we are joined
by the brothers' better halves, of course,
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00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:12,186
Danielle Jonas, Sophie Turner,
and Priyanka Chopra Jonas.
125
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,106
Pleasure.
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So here we go.
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Wouldn't be a roast without the roastees.
128
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:24,949
Please put your hands together
and welcome Kevin, Joe, and Nick,
129
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,453
otherwise known as the Jonas Brothers!
130
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,288
["Sucker" by Jonas Brothers playing]
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[audience cheering and applauding]
132
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♪ You say the word
And I'll go anywhere blindly ♪
133
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♪ I'm a sucker for you, yeah ♪
134
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,300
♪ Any road you take
You know that you'll find me ♪
135
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♪ I'm a sucker for all… ♪
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[Kenan] That's them.
137
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That's them.
138
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:49,932
That's them.
139
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,686
All right.
140
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,729
[song fades out]
141
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Guys, how are you feeling?
142
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,775
You are looking forward to tonight
or what?
143
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,027
Yeah, we're nervous, Kenan.
That's what's going on.
144
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,530
But I trust that, in your hands,
tonight will be fun.
145
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,366
And with this incredible audience,
we'll have a great time!
146
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,077
Let's turn it up!
147
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,247
There's lots of things for nerves.
Uh, do you smoke weed?
148
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,290
[audience laughs]
149
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:15,833
Oh, yeah. I'm high as shit right now.
150
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[Kenan] Oh, snap!
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00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,961
It's getting real.
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00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,546
All right. So…
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Tonight, I will be your guide
to all things Jonas.
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I'm here to give you Jonas Brothers 101.
155
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Let's go through it.
156
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,348
Yeah!
157
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,392
All right.
158
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:37,313
The Jonas Brothers were raised
in Wyckoff, New Jersey.
159
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,397
Yeah!
160
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,274
Making them the biggest musicians
161
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,486
to ever come out of New Jersey.
162
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,488
[audience whoops and chuckles]
163
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,073
Except for Sinatra.
164
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,617
Or maybe Bruce Springsteen.
165
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,744
Oh, or Whitney Houston.
166
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,790
Or Frankie Valli, Queen Latifah,
Lauryn Hill, George Clayton,
167
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,083
Kool & The Gang, Jon Bon Jovi.
168
00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,461
But after that… after that…
169
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,381
y'all got New Jersey on lock.
You know what I'm saying?
170
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,382
I love that. Represent.
171
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,677
-We did it.
-Hey, we did it. We did it.
172
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,762
The brothers were encouraged
at a very young age
173
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:13,266
to pursue their love of music,
thanks to their loving parents
174
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:16,811
King Kevin Senior and Queen Denise Jonas.
175
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,605
Kevin is here with us tonight.
176
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,568
But Denise was unable to join us
177
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,362
because she has tickets
to a Justin Bieber concert.
178
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,948
We all know
you can't give up those tickets.
179
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,116
All right, so…
180
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:31,868
There they are.
181
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,286
[audience cheers]
182
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:38,124
Now, this little guy right in the front,
that is their youngest brother, Franklin.
183
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,333
-Yeah!
-Woo!
184
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,043
[Kenan laughs]
185
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:46,048
And I have been instructed strictly
to not call him the Bonus Jonas.
186
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,342
He didn't show up tonight,
187
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,720
so I'm gonna call him
the "Disownus Jonas."
188
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,556
Now, back then,
189
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,309
the Jonas Brothers rocked
all kinds of wild looks,
190
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,520
and nobody said a damn thing.
I mean, that's how famous they were.
191
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,689
Look at how ridiculous they looked.
192
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:04,692
Nick.
193
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,069
What's up with the hat, man?
194
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,237
I don't know.
195
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,449
You look like Slash from Guns N' Roses
had a weird stepson.
196
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:18,539
And somehow, the countless skinny ties,
197
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,209
vests, and decorative scarves
198
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,588
still didn't distract
from their glorious hair.
199
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:26,506
Oh!
200
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,423
Yeah.
201
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,424
[crowd applauds]
202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,634
It's a good look.
203
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,219
Oh my God.
204
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,345
Look at it.
205
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,263
I got to give it to them.
206
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,683
Those are some of the most realistic
weaves I have ever seen.
207
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,771
Now, each of the brothers
has their own thing.
208
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,815
First, let's look at the loneliest Jonas,
209
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,442
Kevin.
210
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:48,778
Oh.
211
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,404
[laughs]
212
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,782
How lonely?
213
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:56,827
Well, lonely enough to have this meme
shared thousands of times.
214
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,164
"When you plan
to meet your friends somewhere
215
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,124
and you're the first one to show."
216
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,418
Aw, Kevin.
It's all right, man. It's all right.
217
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,586
As the saying goes,
218
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,130
every Destiny's Child
needs its Michelle Williams.
219
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,675
-So there… there you go.
-[audience] Oh!
220
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,761
It's a roast, folks. We're getting roasty.
221
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,263
All right.
222
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:19,934
[chuckles] Next, we have Joe Jonas,
223
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,603
the Mitt Romney of the Jonas Brothers.
224
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,397
-The Mitt Rom--
-[all laugh]
225
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:29,026
Yes, he looks like a glass of milk
came to life. That's…
226
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:30,987
I love it.
227
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,531
It's a fun fact
that Joe once said in an interview
228
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,326
that his favorite website is YouTube.com.
229
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,330
Really living on the cutting edge there,
Joe. All right.
230
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,293
And then, of course,
there is the youngest brother in the band,
231
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,878
Nick "Big Dick" Jonas.
232
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,339
[audience cheers]
233
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,301
He has got it all.
234
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,386
Great singer, great actor.
235
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:58,431
You almost don't blame him
for breaking up the band in 2013.
236
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,640
[audience] Ooh!
237
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,893
Because he thought he was better
than everybody else. We get it.
238
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:09,483
But thankfully, in 2019,
the Jonas Brothers reunited.
239
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,528
-And they're doing better.
-[audience cheers]
240
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,821
[Kenan] Better than ever.
241
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,282
They are doing better than ever.
242
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,452
And Danielle, Sophie, Priyanka,
243
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:23,456
thank you for making our boys
the men that we see today.
244
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,625
[audience cheering and applauding]
245
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,293
[Priyanka] Aw.
246
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,087
[Kenan] Now, in all seriousness, though,
247
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:34,717
it takes amazing talent to have millions
of fans all over the world.
248
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,596
And it's especially impressive
to keep it up for over 15 years.
249
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,474
-So I salute you.
-Thank you.
250
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,017
[cheering]
251
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,685
I salute all of you!
252
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,440
And I promise one day,
I will recognize one of your songs.
253
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,111
Now that we are all caught up
on the Jonas Brothers,
254
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,696
why don't we get it started?
255
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,239
You might be surprised to know
256
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,867
that the Jonas Brothers
do have some friends.
257
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,745
And we are excited to welcome one of them.
258
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,123
Ladies and gentlemen,
the wonderful Lilly Singh!
259
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:10,461
-[upbeat music playing]
-[audience cheering and applauding]
260
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,055
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
261
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,266
Thanks! Whoo!
262
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:29,689
It is such an honor to be part
of the Jonas Brothers Family Roast.
263
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,148
Man!
264
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:36,320
You know, to be honest,
I already feel like a member of the family
265
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:40,116
because at Nick and Priyanka's wedding,
Kevin and Joe both said to me,
266
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,451
"We're so happy
you're marrying our brother, Nick."
267
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,332
If you don't know me,
totally understandable.
268
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,251
I'm Lilly Singh. What's up?
269
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,544
-[crowd cheers]
-Thank you.
270
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,422
I love the Jonas Brothers so much
271
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,465
that I came dressed as Kevin Jonas today.
272
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,636
As you can see,
we both shop at Forever 21.
273
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:06,267
Now, I got my start
making comedy videos on YouTube.
274
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:10,104
And since then, my career has been filled
with ups and downs
275
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,107
in an industry
that's still predominantly white males.
276
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:17,027
So yeah, I'm thrilled to finally be
on a Netflix comedy special
277
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,697
celebrating three white guys
from New Jersey!
278
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:26,162
Yeah. And the Jonas Brothers
are so white and basic…
279
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,498
they're like if White Claw were a person.
280
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:35,212
I mean, Joe is so white that
when it was time to name his band,
281
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,047
he couldn't even spell dance right.
282
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:45,473
I did love the Jonas Brothers as a teen.
You know, I had their posters on my walls.
283
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,600
I mean, come on,
they were hot, right? Yes!
284
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,727
[crowd cheers]
285
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,271
And they helped me figure out
who I was as a person.
286
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,608
Now, I'll never forget
being a young girl in Canada,
287
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,818
staring at a picture
of the Jonas Brothers and thinking,
288
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,321
"Maybe I'm into girls."
289
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,203
This is fun!
290
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:13,626
It's crazy that the Jonas Brothers
are now in their late 20s and 30s,
291
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:17,004
and I can still grow more facial hair
than all of you.
292
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:21,050
Weird flex, but here we are.
I know my strengths and weaknesses, okay?
293
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,095
Speaking of weaknesses, Kevin is here!
294
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,435
Kevin… Real talk, Kevin is actually
my favorite Jonas Brother.
295
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,478
He is.
296
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,480
Mine too.
297
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,608
Because he makes you believe
298
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,985
that anyone can be a pop star.
299
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,614
When you see a picture of him
next to Nick and Joe,
300
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,199
you always think, "Wow."
301
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:48,619
"Nick and Joe are really close
with their accountant."
302
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:54,416
Now, Nick, you'll always be
the baby of the Jonas Brothers.
303
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:55,834
Sure.
304
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:59,797
And I don't know if you know this,
but Nick can't even grow a beard. Yeah.
305
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,549
That's why he married one.
306
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,759
-[audience] Oh!
-[Kevin] Oh!
307
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,053
Oh, shit.
308
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,184
But it's hard not to love Nick Jonas.
Am I right? Come on. Look at him.
309
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,978
[crowd cheers]
310
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:14,979
[Lilly] Yeah.
311
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,899
Nick is the dreamer. He is determined.
312
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,526
He wants to be the best.
313
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:25,239
Nick hopes to someday have a Grammy,
an Emmy, an Oscar, and a Tony.
314
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,365
And he will.
315
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:31,036
If he adopts four more dogs and names them
Grammy, Emmy, Oscar, and Tony.
316
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,375
Hi, Joe.
317
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,421
-I didn't forget about you.
-Thank God.
318
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,632
I mean, I did from 2008 to 2015,
but not tonight.
319
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,388
But in all sincerity,
I am so honored to be here tonight
320
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,473
and to be included as part
of your family roast.
321
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,808
Thank you so much for having me.
322
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:57,354
Obviously, I'm a huge fan…
323
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:58,689
of Kenan Thompson.
324
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,316
Thank you so much, everyone. Goodnight!
325
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,734
Yeah!
326
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,820
-[Kenan] Lilly Singh, everybody.
-Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
327
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,156
Great job. Great job.
328
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,617
-[Lilly] Thank you so much.
-[Kenan] Absolutely. Give it up!
329
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,746
She was taking shots at y'all, man.
330
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,539
-I love it!
-[Kenan] You guys are good sports.
331
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,333
Dad, how you feeling?
You hanging in there?
332
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,626
I know these are your children.
333
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,128
-They're my children.
-[Kenan] I hear you. All right.
334
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,088
My children!
335
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,508
Now, here's something else
that you might not know
336
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,760
about the Jonas Brothers.
337
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,263
In the 2007
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade,
338
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,725
they rode
on the Build-A-Bear Workshop float.
339
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,852
-Nice.
-Strong.
340
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:39,104
And then, right when it was over,
341
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,107
they built a bear
out of Kevin's old sideburns.
342
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,277
[man] Boo!
343
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,695
Boo!
344
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,782
I'm sorry. What? Did somebody just boo me?
345
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:50,949
[man] Boo!
346
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,662
Well, that is rude,
but you guys won't believe this.
347
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:59,708
The Jonas Brothers were the youngest band
to ever be on the cover of Rolling--
348
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,294
[man] Rolling Stone, yeah, yeah. We know!
349
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,340
Pete? Is that you?
350
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,341
Is that me?
351
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,717
Pete Davidson!
352
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,387
Oh. Yes!
353
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,224
That's like asking
if the Jonas Brothers freaking rule.
354
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,392
Hell, yeah, dude!
355
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,686
-[audience whoops]
-[Kenan] What are you doing here?
356
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,188
I don't know. I'm so drunk right now.
357
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:22,106
Uh…
358
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,900
I was drinking White Claws
with Niall. He's a cool kid.
359
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,444
So you're a fan.
360
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,946
Oh, I'm a huge fan!
361
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:32,408
I listen to the Jonas Brothers
every time I'm in a supermarket.
362
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,370
I mean, show some respect, okay?
363
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,080
Nick's a legit actor now.
364
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,582
He's won everything
from a Kids' Choice Award
365
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,292
to a Teen Choice Award.
366
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:44,962
Yes.
367
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,547
-Very good.
-Thank you.
368
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,174
You know, Nick had a hit called "Jealous."
369
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,135
Though it would've been
way more believable
370
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,594
if Kevin was singing it.
371
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,393
Haven't you ever heard the song
"Roller Coaster"?
372
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,770
You know how brave it is
to do a song about something
373
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,939
none of them are tall enough to ride?
374
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,609
I mean, how can I make fun of these guys?
375
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:11,405
I look like a Jonas Brother
if his mom was also his Jonas sister.
376
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,034
Well, I'm sorry,
but we need to keep the show moving.
377
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,163
-Please, no more interruptions. All right?
-Okay. Okay.
378
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,164
-Thank you.
-Okay.
379
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:26,962
Now, the Jonas Brothers have performed
at the White House several times.
380
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:31,008
But most notably when they sang
the National Anthem
381
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,844
for the Women In Sports Tee-ball game.
382
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,266
Or as it's more commonly known,
wait, is that a real thing?
383
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,853
Okay. All right. All right.
Now you've gone too far, okay?
384
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,355
These guys rock! Okay?
385
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:48,442
A Little Bit Longer is both
my favorite album--
386
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,487
-[audience cheers]
-Yeah. Yes. Yes.
387
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,282
And it's what Sophie wishes
Joe's penis was.
388
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,659
-[Kenan] Hey! Easy!
-[audience groans]
389
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,412
Winter is coming, but Sophie, not so much.
390
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,747
[Kenan] Pete!
391
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,417
-[Kenan] You can't talk like that.
-[Pete] Come on!
392
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,212
[Kenan] Get out of--
You can't talk like-- Get--
393
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,089
-[Pete] I'm sorry.
-Get Peter--
394
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,924
-I'm sorry.
-[Kenan] Pete Davidson, everybody.
395
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,425
But you gotta get out of here.
396
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:15,969
My God.
397
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,931
Sophie, that's your personal business.
398
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,812
Please welcome the more talented,
the more beautiful,
399
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:28,357
the more popular,
the less sulky looking other half
400
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,652
of Nick Jonas, Priyanka Chopra Jonas!
401
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,862
-[upbeat music playing]
-[audience cheers and applauds]
402
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,370
Yeah!
403
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,579
Terrified right now.
404
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,873
But thank you guys
for being such a warm room!
405
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,041
This is amazing!
406
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,960
Hi, everyone!
407
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:55,467
I am honored and so thrilled,
actually, and tickled,
408
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,847
to be here tonight
to roast my husband, Nick Jonas.
409
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,601
And his brothers,
whose names I can never remember.
410
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,978
Um… [chuckles]
411
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:12,150
I'm from India, a country rich
in culture, in music, in entertainment.
412
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:15,154
So clearly, the Jonas Brothers
didn't make it over there.
413
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,660
Nick and I have a ten-year age gap.
414
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,120
-Yeah!
-Yes.
415
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,413
[audience whoops]
416
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,330
We do.
417
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,959
And there are many
'90s pop culture references
418
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,253
he doesn't understand,
and I have to explain them to him.
419
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,922
Which is fine,
because we teach each other.
420
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591
We teach each other things.
421
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,552
He showed me how to use TikTok,
for example.
422
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:43,098
You know, and I showed him what
a successful acting career looks like.
423
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,474
[Kevin] Oh, shit!
424
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,444
Oh my God.
425
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,404
Also, have you guys noticed
426
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,740
how much content
the Jonas Brothers post online?
427
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:03,869
Like, they're forever on Instagram,
always on the phone.
428
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,871
[giggling] It's so cute.
429
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,123
I'll tell you why.
430
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:11,543
Because all of them combined
still have less followers than me.
431
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,795
[audience] Oh!
432
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:15,672
[Priyanka] Yeah.
433
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,883
It's true. It's true.
434
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,469
So I guess the most popular Jonas is
435
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,679
@PriyankaChopra on Instagram.
436
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:31,146
Seriously, though, I do want to talk
about how much I love my husband
437
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,482
and what I love about him.
438
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:37,402
One of the things I love about my husband
is how much we have in common, you know.
439
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,989
For instance, we're both totally,
completely, wholly obsessed,
440
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,241
and I mean obsessed,
441
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,408
with Nick Jonas.
442
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,079
We love Nick Jonas, both of us.
443
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,623
[laughing] He's our favorite. Honestly.
444
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,917
-He's our favorite.
-It's true.
445
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,085
-It's true.
-Very true.
446
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:56,213
I wouldn't want to be married
to anyone else, guys. I'm serious.
447
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,216
Unless, of course,
Chris Hemsworth suddenly became single.
448
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,342
Might change things.
449
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,596
Since we got married,
people questioned our marriage. Right?
450
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,015
They were like,
"Oh, it's a publicity stunt."
451
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,267
How could it be?
452
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,852
I didn't even know how famous Nick was.
453
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:15,107
All I knew was that
he was Kevin Jonas's baby brother.
454
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,527
[Nick] Yeah. That's right.
455
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,196
[Priyanka] In all sincerity,
456
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,073
I love that I married a man
457
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,742
who, like myself, values family.
458
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,537
If you don't know, we're the only couple
459
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,123
who doesn't have kids yet,
460
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,166
which is why I'm excited
to make this announcement.
461
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:35,752
Sorry, babe.
462
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:38,672
Nick and I are expecting…
463
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,633
to get drunk tonight
464
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,094
and sleep in tomorrow!
465
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,850
Your face was really funny
when I said that.
466
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,102
Yeah, I was a bit concerned.
467
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,938
All right. Seriously, though,
I love this entire family.
468
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,274
Nick, Joe, Kevin, you guys are amazing.
469
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,692
Nick has changed my life.
470
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,945
I wouldn't want to babysit,
I mean, be married to anyone else.
471
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,657
Ever. [giggles]
472
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,661
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Priyanka Chopra Jonas!
473
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,455
Thank you.
474
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,332
[audience cheering and applauding]
475
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,044
[Priyanka] Oh my God.
476
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,045
How are you feeling?
477
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,588
Oh, look at the love.
478
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:21,923
[Nick] You killed it.
479
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:28,221
There are lots of fun Jonas Brothers facts
that most people don't know.
480
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:31,767
-Like, one time, back at--
-[piano music]
481
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:32,684
Hold on.
482
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:36,813
Now, I know the sound
of those tickled ivories anywhere.
483
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:39,816
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is John Legend in the building.
484
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,151
[audience cheering]
485
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,446
Sup, dawg?
486
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,951
What's up, man?
You been sitting there all night?
487
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,370
You know me. I love a good party, Kenan.
488
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,500
Whenever there's a party in town,
I show up with my piano.
489
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:57,667
That's right.
490
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,962
Well, while you're here,
do you mind playing us a song?
491
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:02,214
Yes. Do you know what?
492
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:05,926
I wrote a little something
about my favorite band.
493
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,052
Yeah!
494
00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:09,012
Jonas Brothers,
why don't you come over here?
495
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,889
-All right!
-[Kenan] Come on down, baby.
496
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:13,767
It's for you.
497
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,269
It's for you. It's for you.
498
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:17,312
Enjoy.
499
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,271
Enjoy this.
500
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,491
♪ Working-class lads
Growing up with a dream ♪
501
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:33,870
♪ They made a lot of money
Made a lot of girls scream ♪
502
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,749
♪ The music they created
Took over the globe ♪
503
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:41,753
♪ Sold out shows wherever they'd go ♪
504
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:42,712
It's true.
505
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:45,382
♪ All I want to be is their favorite fan ♪
506
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,136
♪ I wrote a song to tell them
They're my favorite band ♪
507
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:53,682
♪ I wish they could hear it
But they're not here today ♪
508
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:59,354
♪ No John, Paul, George, or Ringo
Just Joe, Nick, I want to say… ♪
509
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:00,689
♪ Keith? ♪
510
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:05,569
♪ You're not quite the Beatles ♪
511
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:10,115
♪ Not quite the Beatles
Though you're really nice guys ♪
512
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:15,036
♪ You're pretty darn handsome
And better than Hanson ♪
513
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,664
♪ But you'll never be the Beatles
Nice try ♪
514
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:20,876
♪ No, not the Beatles ♪
515
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:25,130
♪ Not quite the Beatles
And I'm telling you why ♪
516
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,675
♪ You can take them home to Granny ♪
517
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,594
♪ But they've never won a Grammy ♪
518
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,804
♪ They'll never be the Beatles ♪
519
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,974
♪ Never, not in this life ♪
520
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:41,313
♪ Oh, imagine there was no "Imagine" ♪
521
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:46,026
♪ Only "Sucker," and I forget the rest ♪
522
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:50,489
♪ What if Paul McCartney was in Jumanji? ♪
523
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:54,493
♪ No "Let it Be"
Just Nick being "Jealous" ♪
524
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:58,246
♪ Oh, no Ringo Starr as the weakest link ♪
525
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,333
♪ Only Keith? Kirk? ♪
526
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,084
♪ What's his name? ♪
527
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,797
♪ And George Harrison
Rolling in his grave ♪
528
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,759
♪ Every time "Cake by the Ocean" ♪
529
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:14,471
♪ Ever gets played ♪
530
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:17,891
♪ You're not quite the Beatles ♪
531
00:25:17,974 --> 00:25:22,604
♪ Not quite the Beatles
Though you're really nice guys ♪
532
00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:26,608
♪ You're pretty darn handsome
And better than Hanson ♪
533
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:29,361
♪ But you'll never be the Beatles
Nice try ♪
534
00:25:29,444 --> 00:25:32,864
♪ No, not the Beatles ♪
535
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:37,160
♪ Not quite the Beatles
And I'm telling you why ♪
536
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,414
♪ You can take them home to Granny
But they've never won a Grammy ♪
537
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:44,000
♪ Oh, they'll never be the Beatles ♪
538
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,628
♪ Never, not in this life ♪
539
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,422
Sing it with me, everybody.
540
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:55,387
[audience sings along]
♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪
541
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:59,349
♪ No Nick and no Joe ♪
542
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:01,184
♪ Or Keith? ♪
543
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:07,732
♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪
544
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,484
♪ No, no, no, no ♪
545
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,697
♪ No Jonas Bros ♪
546
00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:15,865
♪ For me ♪
547
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,537
♪ Not quite the Beatles ♪
548
00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:26,167
♪ Not quite the Beatles
Though you're really nice guys ♪
549
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:30,046
♪ You're pretty darn handsome
Better than Hanson ♪
550
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:30,964
I'll take it!
551
00:26:31,047 --> 00:26:33,216
♪ But you'll never be the Beatles
Nice try ♪
552
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,844
♪ No, not the Beatles ♪
553
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:40,557
♪ Not quite the Beatles
Better luck next time ♪
554
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,977
♪ But look on the bright side ♪
555
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,895
♪ You've got beautiful wives ♪
556
00:26:46,479 --> 00:26:48,607
♪ Who didn't break up the group ♪
557
00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:53,361
♪ And none of you died ♪
558
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,530
[audience cheers and applauds]
559
00:26:56,823 --> 00:26:57,866
[Kenan] John Legend!
560
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:02,871
John Legend…
561
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:05,206
-None of you died.
-…ladies and gentlemen.
562
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:09,753
Thank you.
563
00:27:09,836 --> 00:27:10,837
[Kenan] That was amazing.
564
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,380
-I'm sorry.
-That was amazing.
565
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,966
That was beautiful.
You're right. You're right.
566
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,468
-You're correct.
-That was amazing.
567
00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:18,178
-John Legend!
-Not quite the Beatles.
568
00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:21,139
[audience cheering and applauding]
569
00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:23,475
[Kenan laughs]
570
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:28,855
So recently, the Jonas Brothers
went down to the brand-new home
571
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,815
of the Los Angeles Rams
572
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:34,319
to see which one of them sucked
the least at football.
573
00:27:34,402 --> 00:27:35,695
Let's see how that went.
574
00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,697
[dramatic music playing]
575
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:44,412
Can you believe
Tom Brady's gonna teach us how to kick?
576
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,372
That's insane.
577
00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:47,290
Tom Brady's gonna help us
kick these balls.
578
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,917
What's up, Jonas Brothers?
579
00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:51,044
Y'all ready for this?
580
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,296
I'm your coach,
581
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,090
Tom Grady.
582
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,676
No, we're waiting for Tom Brady.
But thank you.
583
00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:59,260
He said he's waiting for Tom--
584
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,304
Man, why would Tom Brady
be coaching y'all?
585
00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:03,640
-Let's do this thing.
-[whistle blows]
586
00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:05,475
[upbeat music playing]
587
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,394
All right, gentlemen,
588
00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:10,397
today I have been charged in training you
in the game of football.
589
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,315
And when I'm done,
I will release you back,
590
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,443
but not before
I declare one of y'all the worst.
591
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,112
Knees up!
592
00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:18,279
Knees up!
593
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,823
Suck in your butts!
594
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:20,782
Suck in your butt?
595
00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:24,411
Gimme some jumping jacks. Here we go.
One, two, three, four. Now swim.
596
00:28:24,994 --> 00:28:28,706
And one Jonas Brother,
two Jonas Brother, three Jonas Brother.
597
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:32,127
And I am the winner!
All right. Let's get some nachos, man.
598
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:34,754
There's one minute left.
Fourth quarter in the Super Bowl.
599
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:35,964
Hike!
600
00:28:37,465 --> 00:28:39,092
-[groans]
-[Nick laughs]
601
00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:41,761
Yeah, I see why they call you all
the Jonas Brothers
602
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:43,555
and not the Jonas Brothas.
603
00:28:43,638 --> 00:28:45,557
Y'all need some more Black people
in this band.
604
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,893
Hey, Nick! Get your head in the game.
605
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,145
Hike!
606
00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:55,108
Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!
607
00:28:57,652 --> 00:28:59,404
-Yes!
-All right, Kev. You got this.
608
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:00,488
Hike!
609
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:05,034
Come on, Kev.
610
00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:07,620
[Kenan] Oh, man. Come on, man.
611
00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:11,750
-[Joe] Aw.
-[buzzer sounds]
612
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:12,876
[Kenan] I think we're done.
613
00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:15,295
-It's all good, Kev.
-Let's bring it in with some positivity.
614
00:29:15,378 --> 00:29:16,504
You'll get it next time.
615
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:18,465
Oh, man.
616
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:22,469
So how was the day for you?
Did you enjoy that day?
617
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,305
Kevin does really fucking suck
at football though.
618
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,433
I feel like they edited that really badly.
619
00:29:28,516 --> 00:29:30,685
I'm not sure if I was that bad.
620
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,312
-He sucks at football.
-Yeah.
621
00:29:32,395 --> 00:29:33,605
Here's your redemption.
622
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:39,360
You had one more challenge to see
if you could overcome sucking so hard.
623
00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:43,156
Why don't we take a look at it?
This is your moment.
624
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:44,115
All right.
625
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,575
[dramatic music playing]
626
00:29:48,077 --> 00:29:49,746
[crowd cheers]
627
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:02,759
Kev, time to put you in the cauldron
and see what bubbles up. [chuckles]
628
00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:07,764
You're going back on that field,
but this time in front of 70,000 fans.
629
00:30:08,348 --> 00:30:09,224
Okay.
630
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,851
Let's focus on trying to kick
a field goal.
631
00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,394
You can do this.
632
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:17,732
Remember, clear eyes, full heart.
633
00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,192
I'm a sucker for you.
634
00:30:20,026 --> 00:30:20,944
All right.
635
00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:22,320
Let's get out there, son!
636
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:26,950
Oh, boy, this is gonna be bad.
Like a lamb to the slaughter.
637
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:30,954
[announcer] Please welcome running back
to New Jersey,
638
00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:34,916
number one, Kevin Jonas!
639
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,087
[Kevin] All right!
640
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:45,718
[announcer] All right, fans.
641
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:56,104
All right, Kevin, let's see
if you can put it through the uprights.
642
00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:00,358
[heartbeat thumping]
643
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:15,164
[announcer] The kick is up,
and the kick is good!
644
00:31:16,207 --> 00:31:18,585
[crowd roars]
645
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:23,715
[Kenan] Yeah, baby!
646
00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:25,550
That's how you do it!
647
00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,885
Oh, my God.
648
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:28,303
Oh, my God!
649
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:31,139
-Los Angeles, make some noise!
-Woo!
650
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,436
I did it, coach.
651
00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:38,897
You fucking did it!
Yes, you fucking did it!
652
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,648
In front of all of these people!
653
00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:42,483
That was amazing.
654
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:44,986
[Kenan] Good job, Kev!
655
00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:47,363
You did that!
656
00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:48,489
First try.
657
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,783
In front of 70,000 people.
That's impressive.
658
00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:52,952
We can't confirm it was the first try.
659
00:31:53,036 --> 00:31:54,287
I'm not sure about that.
660
00:31:54,370 --> 00:31:56,831
You kicked that field goal
like they kicked you out of the band.
661
00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,291
-That was good.
-[audience] Oh!
662
00:31:58,374 --> 00:31:59,751
[Kenan] Boom! Boom! Boom!
663
00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:03,630
The only difference is I still succeeded,
and Nick didn't, so it's fine.
664
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:05,673
[Kenan] Oh, it's going back and forth!
665
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:10,553
We made two Jumanji's, okay?
I think we were a success.
666
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,639
This is very true.
667
00:32:13,681 --> 00:32:14,974
-Two.
-[Kenan] I love it.
668
00:32:15,058 --> 00:32:16,476
Are you friends with The Rock?
669
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,061
No. He doesn't call me back.
670
00:32:18,144 --> 00:32:19,854
What about the little one?
671
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:20,980
I'm friends with him.
672
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:22,649
Little Black guys are always the best.
673
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:23,608
All right.
674
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,570
Please welcome someone
675
00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:30,615
who knows the Jonas Brothers
better than anybody else.
676
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,284
This is Franklin Jonas.
677
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:37,163
-[rock music playing]
-[audience cheering and applauding]
678
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:42,126
[Pete] Thank you.
679
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,672
-Oh, no.
-Hello!
680
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:46,965
Thank you.
681
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:50,468
Hi. It's me, definitely Franklin Jonas.
682
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:54,389
Uh, they, uh… They call me the Bonus Jonas
683
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:57,392
because I'm the only one
who doesn't get a salary.
684
00:32:57,475 --> 00:33:02,146
Um, I live entirely on Christmas
and birthday gifts from these three.
685
00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:04,232
#EatTheRich.
686
00:33:05,441 --> 00:33:08,653
Seriously, I am just so proud
to be your little brother.
687
00:33:08,736 --> 00:33:11,906
You know? It's so amazing
how you guys reach the number one
688
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,533
on the Billboard Top 200,
689
00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:16,619
but still need me
to reach the top of any shelf.
690
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,371
Um…
691
00:33:18,454 --> 00:33:22,792
You know, my life is real tough.
It's real tough, I gotta tell ya. Uh…
692
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,962
Whoa, boy, is it a tough one. Uh…
693
00:33:26,462 --> 00:33:29,674
Sometimes I always feel like
I'll be the fourth best.
694
00:33:29,757 --> 00:33:32,010
I could cure Covid,
and you'd still all be like,
695
00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:34,887
"That's impressive, but it's not like
you starred in Camp Rock!"
696
00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:39,726
But I still love you guys.
And I just ask that, you know,
697
00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:41,769
you text me the location
of the afterparties.
698
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,147
I got a new phone,
so you'll have to put it in my phone.
699
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:46,315
You know? Uh… You know, we…
700
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:49,861
That's okay, Pete. We appreciate it.
You can't just walk up on the Jonas--
701
00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:51,404
Who's Pete? I'm Franklin.
702
00:33:51,487 --> 00:33:54,240
I am Franklin Jonas.
I'm just hanging with my bros.
703
00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:56,284
I understand,
but they'll see you after the show.
704
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:58,619
-Aw, fuck you, Kenan.
-Oh, come on.
705
00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:02,957
Franklin Jonas/Pete Davidson.
706
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,792
One more time.
707
00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:10,923
All right. Let's take a moment to check in
708
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:14,010
with the Jonas Family Roast
observation section,
709
00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:16,137
a very cushy, exclusive area
710
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:19,599
reserved only for
the Jonas Brothers' incredible spouses.
711
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,058
Wait…
712
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:25,271
Oh, okay. Uh…
713
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:26,814
Hey, K.T.
714
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,276
Dr. Phil?
715
00:34:30,359 --> 00:34:32,862
[audience cheering and applauding]
716
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:40,912
What are you doing in the exclusive
Jonas Brothers executive wife lounge?
717
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:42,747
I'm a doctor.
718
00:34:43,372 --> 00:34:44,916
And as a doctor,
719
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:49,837
it is my absolute obligation
to insert myself into all family drama.
720
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,050
All right. I suppose you did take an oath.
721
00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:57,553
It's an oath that I honor every day
of my life, Kenan.
722
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:01,974
And I've been watching this roast
with my trained eye,
723
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,894
and I think I can see the problem here.
724
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:09,899
Roasts are just damn mean!
We teach people how to treat us.
725
00:35:09,982 --> 00:35:13,152
And if you believe
you deserve to get zinged,
726
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:14,862
you're going to get zinged!
727
00:35:16,322 --> 00:35:19,992
Yeah, but Dr. Phil,
this roast is all in good fun.
728
00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:22,161
I'm not done, Kenan Thompson.
729
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:23,746
-[Kenan] Oh, easy.
-All right.
730
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:26,874
Let me tell you about the Jonas Brothers.
731
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:30,878
It's always easier to tell people
what they want to hear
732
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,964
instead of what they need to hear.
733
00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:35,508
Let me tell you what they need to hear.
734
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:39,136
They're not good enough
for any of these wives.
735
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:40,346
[audience] Oh!
736
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:43,683
These boys have married
so far over their head.
737
00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,769
It's just unbelievable.
738
00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:49,814
I don't think you're the one
to give advice on family dynamics.
739
00:35:49,897 --> 00:35:52,066
I mean, your son is here.
What's up, Jordan?
740
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,068
-[audience whoops]
-Suck it, Dad!
741
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,487
I told you, it's Dr. Phil.
742
00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:01,701
You know what?
All of you boys are beyond my help.
743
00:36:01,784 --> 00:36:05,079
You are 100% fucked, and I'm out of here.
744
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,831
[Kenan] Gee whiz!
745
00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:10,126
-Dr. Phil, everybody.
-Sorry, ladies. Sorry.
746
00:36:14,463 --> 00:36:15,590
Good job, Phillip.
747
00:36:17,967 --> 00:36:19,051
Dr. Filthy.
748
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:24,098
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Danielle Jonas.
749
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,350
Yeah!
750
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:29,020
[audience cheering and applauding]
751
00:36:29,770 --> 00:36:31,397
Woo!
752
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,861
Got a bit of a situation over here
we're going to explain really quick.
753
00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:38,112
Go ahead. Go ahead, Danielle.
754
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,699
"I've lost my voice,"
she says. That's sad.
755
00:36:41,782 --> 00:36:43,367
-Oh, no.
-Baby girl.
756
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:49,916
"It's okay. At least I had a voice to lose
unlike Kevin,
757
00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:54,128
who sings backup vocals."
Yeah. Yes, he does.
758
00:36:55,963 --> 00:36:59,842
"And without a voice,
I won't be able to roast Kevin."
759
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:01,636
Okay.
760
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,179
"Maybe you could do it for me?"
761
00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:05,056
Me? Yeah? Of course.
762
00:37:05,139 --> 00:37:06,599
-I'd be happy to.
-All right.
763
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:11,687
Okay. I'm going to step in
and roast Kevin for Danielle here. Ahem.
764
00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:15,650
These are her words.
765
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,361
"I met Kevin on vacation."
766
00:37:18,861 --> 00:37:22,615
"And before that, the only thing
I've done on vacation that ruined my life
767
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,575
was getting vacation braids."
768
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:30,414
"I basically ignored him the whole time,
769
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,500
which he loved
770
00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,961
because he said
it reminded him of his mom."
771
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:35,878
Oh!
772
00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:38,756
Bing!
773
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:41,425
"But…
774
00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:45,513
I have loved our relationship
these last 12 years."
775
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:46,764
-[Nick] Yeah.
-Thank you.
776
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:49,517
-"We have two beautiful daughters."
-[Nick] Yep.
777
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,185
[Kenan] Yeah.
778
00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,439
"We had them the old-fashioned way
779
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:59,318
when he went on tour,
and I slept with the milkman." Danielle!
780
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:01,779
I don't believe that.
781
00:38:02,571 --> 00:38:03,614
I don't believe that.
782
00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:05,658
I'm not believing that.
783
00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:09,870
"But Kevin is truly the best dad,
and like most people…"
784
00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:10,830
[audience cheers]
785
00:38:10,913 --> 00:38:11,998
That's right.
786
00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:14,750
"And like most people,
787
00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:17,920
our daughters don't even know
that he's famous."
788
00:38:18,921 --> 00:38:19,880
"Of course…"
789
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,801
"Of course, I think
Kevin is the cutest Jonas Brother."
790
00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,721
-"He's got those beautiful eyes."
-Thank you, baby.
791
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:28,848
"The kindest smile…
792
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:30,224
and a massive…"
793
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,601
Whoa. Okay.
794
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:36,230
Um…
795
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,065
Heart. Big heart.
796
00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:40,735
[Kenan] Yes.
797
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:42,903
I'm sorry.
798
00:38:44,655 --> 00:38:46,532
Danielle, I'm not going to say that.
799
00:38:47,033 --> 00:38:49,452
Wow. But good for you, Kev.
800
00:38:50,619 --> 00:38:51,912
You know what I'm saying?
801
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:54,832
-You should be very proud.
-[Kevin] Thank you.
802
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:58,002
And King Kevin,
you should be very proud too.
803
00:38:58,085 --> 00:39:00,588
I hear you're packing.
I know that's where he's getting it from.
804
00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:02,298
That's what's up.
805
00:39:02,381 --> 00:39:05,134
"To sum it all up, I love you, Kevin."
806
00:39:05,217 --> 00:39:06,635
-[audience] Aw!
-Love you, baby doll.
807
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,846
Give it up for Danielle Jonas,
ladies and gentlemen.
808
00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:10,264
[cheering and applauding]
809
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:13,976
[Kenan singing] ♪ Where is the love? ♪
810
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,228
Cute.
811
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,147
So I want to-- Walk her back to her seat.
812
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,316
[grumbles]
813
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:23,819
Good job.
814
00:39:25,154 --> 00:39:29,033
Now… [chuckles]
Somebody who knows Nick pretty well
815
00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:31,410
wanted to get some stuff off of his chest.
816
00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:32,411
Let's take a look.
817
00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:37,124
Listen, I'm a close friend
of Nick's on TV.
818
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:40,961
I've known him for a long time,
like, two seasons of The Voice.
819
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,714
And he's a close personal co-worker.
820
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:46,634
I'd like to share the reasons
I love Nick Jonas.
821
00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:48,469
One…
822
00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:50,513
He's non-threatening.
823
00:39:50,596 --> 00:39:52,765
Labels aren't out there
telling their artists, like,
824
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:56,102
"Don't drop music this week because
Nick Jonas has a record coming out."
825
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:58,145
Usually, it's the complete opposite.
826
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,024
"Hey, drop your music this week.
There's no competition."
827
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:02,942
You're the man.
828
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:04,568
Two…
829
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,530
He's always easy to find
because he literally takes a selfie
830
00:40:07,613 --> 00:40:11,033
and posts it to Instagram
every time he leaves the house.
831
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,702
Three, he's a great actor.
832
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:17,665
He acted as a competent vocal coach
for two seasons on The Voice.
833
00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:21,043
And the final reason I love Nick Jonas,
834
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:24,964
he surrounds himself
with people much cooler than he is.
835
00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:27,842
Nick, and all the Jonas Brothers,
I love ya.
836
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:30,719
And thanks for letting me be a part
of this from another studio.
837
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:34,682
You guys actually couldn't pay me enough
to be there anyway. Thanks again.
838
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,227
[Kenan] Nice.
839
00:40:39,353 --> 00:40:40,729
Blake Shelton.
840
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,358
-Wow.
-Oh my God.
841
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,694
A lot of people don't know this,
842
00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:49,989
but the Jonas Brothers have fans
all over the world.
843
00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:51,907
Please…
844
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:52,992
[crowd cheers]
845
00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:56,537
…put your hands together
for a very special roaster
846
00:40:56,620 --> 00:40:58,122
from across the pond.
847
00:40:58,205 --> 00:41:03,878
He's one of the UK's biggest comedy stars.
This is Jack Whitehall. Give it up!
848
00:41:04,378 --> 00:41:05,796
[audience cheering and applauding]
849
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:11,343
Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack!
850
00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:12,261
Yeah!
851
00:41:13,053 --> 00:41:15,306
[audience cheering and applauding]
852
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:18,851
Yes! What an honor it is to be here.
853
00:41:18,934 --> 00:41:22,354
Now, I must warn you,
I do come from a nation of toasters,
854
00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:23,522
not roasters.
855
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:24,982
And I'm not, for one moment,
856
00:41:25,065 --> 00:41:27,902
going to stand up here
in front of you tonight
857
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:32,072
and besmirch the character
of these fine young gentlemen.
858
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,325
-Look at them.
-I doubt it.
859
00:41:34,408 --> 00:41:35,242
Oh!
860
00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:39,288
You beautiful bastards.
861
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:43,334
Where's your father? Where is he?
That is a proud man over there.
862
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:45,669
Kevin Sr.
863
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,505
Oh, yes.
864
00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:51,091
Give that man's testicles a Grammy
865
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,928
for their outstanding contribution
to music.
866
00:41:55,554 --> 00:41:56,388
Yeah!
867
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:58,807
Yes! A round of applause
for Kevin Sr.'s balls!
868
00:41:58,891 --> 00:41:59,892
Why not?
869
00:41:59,975 --> 00:42:01,977
[audience cheering and applauding]
870
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:06,106
Those giblets should be hanging
in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
871
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,985
Yes. Tonight I feel is the night
872
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:12,696
for me to finally admit it to the world.
873
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:15,908
No, I am not pre-rehab John Mulaney.
874
00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:19,328
I am Jack Whitehall,
875
00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:21,956
and I am a Jonah-holic.
876
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:24,375
Yeah? Oh, that felt good.
877
00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:28,546
Felt good to share, yeah?
I'm drunk on the Jonas juice.
878
00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:31,298
I am a full-blown Jo-tard.
879
00:42:32,424 --> 00:42:34,802
Yeah. You guys are my guilty pleasure.
880
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:38,722
Like, peeing in the shower
or masturbating in an Uber.
881
00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:43,727
And of all of those hobbies,
the one that I get the most grief for,
882
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:45,354
liking your music.
883
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,274
And the Uber one a bit, to be fair.
884
00:42:48,857 --> 00:42:52,486
But why? Why can't a man love the Jo Bros?
885
00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:54,405
-Whoo!
-[Jack] Yeah, why?
886
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,992
I get less judgment
when my shuffle lands on R. Kelly.
887
00:42:58,075 --> 00:43:00,369
[audience groans]
888
00:43:00,452 --> 00:43:03,122
Why does rock and roll have to be hard?
889
00:43:03,205 --> 00:43:05,040
I like my rock soft
890
00:43:05,874 --> 00:43:07,459
and thumbed in gently…
891
00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:11,463
by three guys that look like
they should be working on the door
892
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:12,923
of an Abercrombie & Fitch.
893
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:17,177
Maybe two on the door,
one in the storage room.
894
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,471
Sorry, Nick, sorry.
895
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:21,432
Oh, yeah, thank you.
896
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:24,310
Do you know how hard it was growing up
for me in England,
897
00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:26,145
a young boy loving the Jonas Brothers?
898
00:43:26,228 --> 00:43:29,064
Picked on, sir. I was picked on every day!
899
00:43:29,148 --> 00:43:31,400
At school, by the Slytherin boys. Yeah.
900
00:43:32,901 --> 00:43:38,490
The pressure to listen to music
that was "cool," or "edgy,"
901
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:41,035
that wasn't "mind-numbingly bland."
902
00:43:42,077 --> 00:43:43,329
"Oh, you won't get any girls
903
00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,414
if you're listening
to the Jonas Brothers, Jack."
904
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:47,708
"Well, maybe, I don't want girls."
905
00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:51,420
"Maybe I am Jo Bros before hoes."
906
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,464
[audience cheering]
907
00:43:53,547 --> 00:43:54,423
Yeah.
908
00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:56,800
You know what?
Since we're all friends here,
909
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:59,303
and this is a safe space,
I'm ready to share a little more.
910
00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:03,432
Guys, you are looking
at a fellow purity pledger.
911
00:44:04,224 --> 00:44:05,267
Yes!
912
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:08,020
Lock this sugar up and throw away the key!
913
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:10,898
Let's hear some noise
for popping that cherry
914
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,316
when you're goddamn ready!
915
00:44:12,399 --> 00:44:13,942
-Whoo!
-[audience cheers]
916
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,819
Oh! A lot of virgins in the house tonight!
917
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:16,904
Nice!
918
00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,990
Yes, for much of my youth, like you guys,
919
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,743
I was in a purity-pledge situation.
920
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:25,913
A pledge was taken
that I would remain a virgin
921
00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:28,248
by every single girl at my school.
922
00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:35,047
And do you know how I was able
to keep my man hymen intact for so long?
923
00:44:35,964 --> 00:44:38,467
Because of you guys. Seriously.
924
00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:41,053
The more I told people
that I listened to your music,
925
00:44:41,136 --> 00:44:43,263
the less they wanted to have sex with me.
926
00:44:44,390 --> 00:44:48,352
I may as well have worn one of your albums
around my neck like a leper's bell.
927
00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:50,896
I'm dying.
928
00:44:50,979 --> 00:44:55,442
But look, look, real talk,
we have to talk about the hard times too.
929
00:44:56,235 --> 00:44:58,987
October 30th, 2013.
930
00:44:59,571 --> 00:45:01,407
Please stop laughing.
This is a serious bit.
931
00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:03,617
The music industry's 9/11.
932
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:09,957
The day of the break-up of my heart
into a thousand tiny pieces.
933
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:13,419
And look, I'm not gonna stand up here
and play the blame game.
934
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:17,256
We could be here all night going,
"Oh, Nick said this. Nick did that."
935
00:45:17,339 --> 00:45:20,718
No. It was a mutual decision to break up,
936
00:45:20,801 --> 00:45:23,095
so that Nick could focus
on his solo career.
937
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:26,723
No one's to blame except Nick,
whose fault it definitely was.
938
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:29,476
Look at him.
939
00:45:30,686 --> 00:45:32,813
Sorry. It still hurts.
940
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:35,774
The Brother Breaker.
941
00:45:36,525 --> 00:45:38,235
The Meghan Markle of pop.
942
00:45:41,321 --> 00:45:43,574
Now, the band is back!
943
00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:46,160
-Yes! Whoo!
-[audience cheers]
944
00:45:46,743 --> 00:45:47,619
Yes!
945
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:49,872
[Nick] You're welcome.
946
00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:51,957
Thank you.
947
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,084
You can't keep these guys down.
948
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,003
They're like the Covid virus.
949
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:59,256
And if this second wave
has taught us anything,
950
00:45:59,339 --> 00:46:03,177
it's that, as a society,
we cannot eradicate the Jonas Brothers.
951
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:05,095
We must just learn to live with them
952
00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,557
and pray they don't mutate.
953
00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:13,228
My point is, guys, joking aside,
954
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:16,648
you have left an indelible mark
on so many people,
955
00:46:16,732 --> 00:46:18,442
especially me.
956
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:20,527
Seriously. In more ways than one.
957
00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:24,740
They all said to me that I was making
a terrible, terrible mistake
958
00:46:24,823 --> 00:46:27,910
all those years ago
when I walked into that tattoo parlor.
959
00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:30,204
But you know what I have to say
to them chaps?
960
00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:31,622
No regrets.
961
00:46:32,372 --> 00:46:34,291
"Jo Bros before hoes."
962
00:46:34,374 --> 00:46:37,127
[audience cheering and applauding]
963
00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:41,215
-[whoops]
-[Kenan] Jack!
964
00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:44,718
Yeah!
965
00:46:44,801 --> 00:46:47,095
-Jack Whitehall, ladies and gentlemen.
-[Nick] Wow!
966
00:46:49,848 --> 00:46:50,933
[Kenan] Tattoo.
967
00:46:51,558 --> 00:46:54,228
Anybody who follows Joe Jonas on TikTok,
968
00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:57,356
which I assume is most
of the human population,
969
00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:59,233
knows that he recently crashed
970
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:03,320
a themed One Direction
versus Jonas Brothers spin class.
971
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:04,238
Yeah!
972
00:47:04,321 --> 00:47:08,867
So this time, he decided to do it again
and bring along Niall Horan.
973
00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:12,704
But this time, they went undercover.
974
00:47:12,788 --> 00:47:14,790
Give a round of applause
975
00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:18,710
to a new instructor
that I am going to be auditioning.
976
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:21,088
Steve!
977
00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:24,174
[Joe] Let's do it, people. Here we go!
Ladies and gentlemen, how ya feeling?
978
00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:25,884
-[bell dings]
-[Joe] All right. Here we go.
979
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:29,680
My name is Steve.
I am so excited to be here.
980
00:47:29,763 --> 00:47:32,349
[Niall] What's going on?
How you going, guys? I'm Toby.
981
00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:35,143
-I'm from Australia. Sydney, Australia.
-[bell dings]
982
00:47:35,227 --> 00:47:37,437
-[Niall] How are you guys going? You good?
-[group] Yeah!
983
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:38,939
[Niall] Yeah? Lovely.
984
00:47:39,439 --> 00:47:42,484
-[bell dings]
-[energetic music playing]
985
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:45,404
I heard the Jonas Brothers
are not even real brothers.
986
00:47:45,487 --> 00:47:47,614
[Joe] I read the Jonas Brothers
aren't even real brothers.
987
00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:50,993
-Disney faked it.
-[Joe] Disney faked it.
988
00:47:51,076 --> 00:47:52,244
[Joe laughs]
989
00:47:52,327 --> 00:47:55,414
My friend dated the one with the eyebrows.
Super lazy lover.
990
00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:57,416
[Joe] My friend dated the one
with the huge eyebrows.
991
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:02,087
She said he's no good. Okay.
992
00:48:02,170 --> 00:48:03,589
[Kevin, Niall, and Nick laugh]
993
00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:07,509
One Direction is by far the best looking
boy band there ever was. Am I right?
994
00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:09,803
Say they're a much bigger band
and always will be.
995
00:48:09,886 --> 00:48:12,848
[Joe] A much bigger band. More successful.
996
00:48:14,808 --> 00:48:17,185
[Joe] You guys ever heard of Niall Horan?
997
00:48:17,269 --> 00:48:18,812
More like "Niall Borin'."
998
00:48:18,895 --> 00:48:21,732
[Niall] Yeah. Yeah, Niall Bloody Borin'.
999
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:22,691
You know him?
1000
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:24,610
What a letdown.
1001
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:28,447
He was by far the most handsome
in that group he was in.
1002
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:32,242
[Niall] He is by far and away--
They all talk about this Harry guy.
1003
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:36,163
He's by far and away the best looking
in that band by a mile.
1004
00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:40,542
-You agree?
-[group] Woo!
1005
00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:41,710
[Niall] Liars.
1006
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:44,087
[bell dings]
1007
00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:45,714
Who here wants muscles like this?
1008
00:48:46,340 --> 00:48:50,010
[Niall] Who here wants muscles
like these bad boys, hey?
1009
00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:52,804
-[group cheers]
-[Niall] Come on! Yeah!
1010
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,974
Say, "Who here wants
a big biking booty like me?"
1011
00:48:56,058 --> 00:49:00,896
"Don't be shy. Let me hear you sing.
We want a big biking bubble booty."
1012
00:49:00,979 --> 00:49:03,273
[Joe] All right.
Who wants a big bubble booty like me?
1013
00:49:04,066 --> 00:49:06,234
-Make some noise.
-[group] Whoo!
1014
00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:09,279
[Joe] Bubble booty!
Bubble booty! Bubble booty!
1015
00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,740
[Kevin] Good thing we're in a garage.
1016
00:49:11,823 --> 00:49:13,617
I've got so much junk in my trunk.
1017
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:16,453
[Joe] Good thing we're in a garage.
I've got so much junk in my trunk.
1018
00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:17,496
[laughs] Woo!
1019
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:19,831
[bell dings]
1020
00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:22,417
Tell them that you just broke up
with your girlfriend last night.
1021
00:49:22,501 --> 00:49:26,254
[Niall] Yeah. I just broke up
with my girlfriend last night.
1022
00:49:27,214 --> 00:49:28,382
Feeling a bit sad.
1023
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,677
Take a break if you're a Capricorn.
1024
00:49:32,260 --> 00:49:34,513
[Niall] Take a break--
If you're a Capricorn,
1025
00:49:35,472 --> 00:49:36,390
don't move.
1026
00:49:36,473 --> 00:49:39,309
If you're a Scorpio, uh,
you have to go two times as hard.
1027
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:42,020
[Niall] Right.
If you're a Scorpio, faster.
1028
00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:44,356
Say, "My girlfriend was a Scorpio,"
and then start crying.
1029
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:46,316
[Niall] My girlfriend was a Scorpio.
1030
00:49:47,109 --> 00:49:48,986
[cries]
1031
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:57,536
Do you guys like Toby?
1032
00:49:57,619 --> 00:49:58,787
[Joe] Do you guys like Toby?
1033
00:49:58,870 --> 00:49:59,871
[group cheers]
1034
00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,790
[Joe] We went out on the town last night.
1035
00:50:01,873 --> 00:50:03,333
Say, "He's a real piece of shit."
1036
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,293
[Joe] He's a real piece of shit, isn't he?
1037
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,463
Say, "He doesn't know it,
1038
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:10,549
but I've just started seeing
his girlfriend, Brooke."
1039
00:50:10,632 --> 00:50:11,508
[Joe] He doesn't know,
1040
00:50:11,591 --> 00:50:13,635
but I just started seeing
his girlfriend, Brooke.
1041
00:50:16,513 --> 00:50:18,473
-[Joe] All right, guys, good luck!
-[group cheers]
1042
00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:19,641
[Kevin] That was so good.
1043
00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,643
-[Niall] Well done.
-[Joe] Oh my God.
1044
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:23,687
-Excellent work.
-Very good. So funny.
1045
00:50:23,770 --> 00:50:27,983
Thank you, everybody,
for such an incredible class.
1046
00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:33,780
And now if we can have a round
of applause for our special instructors.
1047
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:37,325
-[group cheers]
-Yeah!
1048
00:50:37,951 --> 00:50:40,871
Woo!
1049
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:44,583
Yeah! Hey!
1050
00:50:44,666 --> 00:50:46,126
-[Joe] Woo-hoo!
-[Niall] Woo!
1051
00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:48,420
[Joe] Thank you guys so much!
You were incredible.
1052
00:50:48,503 --> 00:50:50,714
Baby, let's party!
1053
00:50:50,797 --> 00:50:53,341
-[group screams]
-[Joe] Make some noise!
1054
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:55,761
We have two other special guests.
1055
00:50:55,844 --> 00:50:57,596
[chattering and crowd screaming]
1056
00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:01,099
Well done. Well done.
1057
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,350
-Thank you.
-Well played.
1058
00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,019
Good job!
1059
00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:05,771
Great job! Thank you!
1060
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,522
[Joe] Thank you. Great job.
1061
00:51:07,606 --> 00:51:09,733
Now, out of the two guys,
who do you think was better?
1062
00:51:09,816 --> 00:51:11,151
[group] Niall!
1063
00:51:14,362 --> 00:51:16,406
I think it's obvious.
Niall, you're the winner.
1064
00:51:17,282 --> 00:51:19,076
[audience cheering and applauding]
1065
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:23,163
[Joe laughs] Well played.
1066
00:51:26,833 --> 00:51:28,585
Big thanks to Niall Horan.
1067
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:30,629
-Give it up for him one more time.
-Yeah, Niall.
1068
00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:37,719
Please welcome someone
who's been waiting five years for this.
1069
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:40,055
This is Sophie Turner.
1070
00:51:40,138 --> 00:51:43,183
-[audience cheering and applauding]
-[upbeat music playing]
1071
00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:50,649
Hello.
1072
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:52,359
Hi, everyone.
1073
00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:54,861
[inhales] Um, I'm really only here
1074
00:51:54,945 --> 00:51:58,865
because I was told that in America,
big family gatherings are where you say
1075
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,742
the meanest possible things
to your family.
1076
00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:03,161
So, when Joe asked me to do this,
I was like…
1077
00:52:03,245 --> 00:52:05,080
[in American accent]
"Sure thing, dipshit."
1078
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:06,706
Um…
1079
00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:10,669
[in normal accent]
Let's talk about the purity rings.
1080
00:52:10,752 --> 00:52:12,087
[crowd whoops]
1081
00:52:12,170 --> 00:52:16,967
For those of you who don't know,
purity rings are worn to demonstrate
1082
00:52:17,050 --> 00:52:19,511
that you're abstaining from sex
before marriage.
1083
00:52:19,594 --> 00:52:21,721
And the Jonas Brothers, they all had them.
1084
00:52:21,805 --> 00:52:23,640
Like, I know this is a roast,
1085
00:52:23,723 --> 00:52:26,017
and you all think
I should be going after them.
1086
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:29,145
But I think we need
to set the record straight here.
1087
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:32,149
No. The rings weren't a good idea.
1088
00:52:33,149 --> 00:52:37,404
Yes, as a gesture,
they're laughably, toe-curlingly lame.
1089
00:52:37,988 --> 00:52:43,326
Um, but remember,
this was about more than a gesture.
1090
00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:46,538
This was about faith.
This was about principle.
1091
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:49,708
This was about taking a stand
and setting an example.
1092
00:52:49,791 --> 00:52:53,336
Look, Joe Jonas wasn't just sticking
his fingers in some dumb metal rings.
1093
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,380
He was sticking his fingers in co-stars,
1094
00:52:55,463 --> 00:52:59,759
actresses, and even a supermodel or two.
1095
00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:01,553
[crowd cheers and laughs]
1096
00:53:05,807 --> 00:53:06,892
To be honest,
1097
00:53:06,975 --> 00:53:11,229
Joe and the purity ring thing
was kind of like a modern-day Cinderella.
1098
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:14,983
I mean, Joe tried to find a match
for his purity rings a few times,
1099
00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:17,986
but finally, the finger fit me.
1100
00:53:18,069 --> 00:53:20,155
[audience laughs and cheers]
1101
00:53:22,782 --> 00:53:25,702
It was also like Cinderella
because most of the girls he tried it with
1102
00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:27,621
were under contract to Disney.
1103
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:29,331
-[audience] Oh!
-[Kevin] Oh!
1104
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:35,378
I must love him,
because I moved to America to be with him.
1105
00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:36,296
[audience] Aw!
1106
00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:38,632
[Sophie] It hasn't been
without its challenges.
1107
00:53:38,715 --> 00:53:41,343
The terminology, for one,
has been a bit of a struggle.
1108
00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:43,094
In America, you say zucchini.
1109
00:53:43,178 --> 00:53:44,846
In England, we say courgette.
1110
00:53:44,930 --> 00:53:48,141
In America, the bits on the side
of the road are called sidewalks.
1111
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,018
In England, pavements.
1112
00:53:50,101 --> 00:53:52,771
Interestingly, on this side
of the Atlantic,
1113
00:53:52,854 --> 00:53:54,981
the sequel to Camp Rock
was called Camp Rock 2.
1114
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,609
Whereas in England,
it was called a load of shit.
1115
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:01,321
Yeah.
1116
00:54:02,697 --> 00:54:05,825
I said when I started acting
that I would never date an actor.
1117
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:09,037
And after I saw Camp Rock 2,
I knew it was safe to date Joe.
1118
00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:13,416
Um, getting to know these guys
has been the thrill of a lifetime.
1119
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,543
I mean, Kevin is so wonderful,
1120
00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:17,003
and Nick is Nick.
1121
00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:19,172
Um…
1122
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:21,258
Joe, I love you so much.
1123
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:24,636
What I love about you is that
no matter how successful you guys got,
1124
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,805
you always stayed true
to your New Jersey roots.
1125
00:54:26,888 --> 00:54:29,724
And I know you guys are definitely
from New Jersey,
1126
00:54:29,808 --> 00:54:32,227
because you're all sopranos, I mean…
1127
00:54:32,310 --> 00:54:35,063
I'm kidding. You guys don't have
any vocal range, sorry.
1128
00:54:36,439 --> 00:54:37,983
I really wanted to come and do this
1129
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:40,318
because the Jonas Brothers
are a great band
1130
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:43,822
despite what every single person
you talk to says.
1131
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:46,700
I love you guys.
1132
00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:48,576
I'll see you backstage and at Christmas.
1133
00:54:48,660 --> 00:54:51,413
And Joe, don't wait up.
Pete Davidson slipped me his phone number.
1134
00:54:51,496 --> 00:54:52,414
So…
1135
00:54:54,290 --> 00:54:58,003
Guys. Sophie Turner, everybody!
1136
00:54:59,879 --> 00:55:01,131
The queen of the north.
1137
00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:04,217
Oh, that's beautiful. The love.
1138
00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:05,927
I'm proud of you.
1139
00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:07,387
[Kenan] Good job!
1140
00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:11,433
Now, Joe, did you expect that?
1141
00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:12,976
Is Dr. Phil still here?
1142
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:16,688
Good sports in your family.
1143
00:55:16,771 --> 00:55:19,524
Now, we have learnt that tonight
1144
00:55:20,191 --> 00:55:23,528
nobody gets under your skin
quite like your own family.
1145
00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:28,241
And it's time for brother
to take on brother to take on brothers.
1146
00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:29,993
[audience cheers and applauds]
1147
00:55:30,076 --> 00:55:31,828
-[Kenan] That's right.
-Here we go.
1148
00:55:31,911 --> 00:55:36,207
Now, we prepared this board
with various categories about your life.
1149
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:38,335
And you'll each get a turn
to come on up here,
1150
00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:40,503
select a category, and go wild.
1151
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:42,380
Let's go oldest to youngest.
1152
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,174
Kevin, you're up first.
1153
00:55:44,257 --> 00:55:45,383
-All right.
-[Kenan] Let's go.
1154
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:47,677
[audience cheering and applauding]
1155
00:55:49,804 --> 00:55:50,930
What's up, everybody?
1156
00:55:51,931 --> 00:55:54,267
-Woo!
-[Priyanka] Woo! Go!
1157
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:57,354
I'm gonna start with "Solo Careers."
1158
00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:58,688
All right. Joe,
1159
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:02,901
I know you have a ritual
before you go onstage.
1160
00:56:02,984 --> 00:56:06,029
That is to get slapped in the face
before you hit the stage.
1161
00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:06,946
It really is.
1162
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:08,448
And that is such a coincidence
1163
00:56:08,531 --> 00:56:13,161
because I need to get run over by a car
every time I listen to your music.
1164
00:56:14,954 --> 00:56:18,750
Seriously. I love all the music
you've created with DNCE.
1165
00:56:18,833 --> 00:56:22,170
From your biggest hits
of "Cake by the Ocean…"
1166
00:56:22,253 --> 00:56:24,047
[audience cheers]
1167
00:56:27,717 --> 00:56:29,719
[audience laughs]
1168
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:32,639
No. That's it.
1169
00:56:32,722 --> 00:56:34,849
You've also tried your hand at acting.
1170
00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:37,685
How amazing was Joe in Zoolander 2?
1171
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:39,187
Yeah.
1172
00:56:39,270 --> 00:56:40,688
Here he is, actually.
1173
00:56:42,315 --> 00:56:43,858
Oh, wait. No, no.
1174
00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:47,112
That's just Joe dressed up
as Zoolander for Halloween.
1175
00:56:48,446 --> 00:56:51,116
Yeah. We tried to find a still
from the movie,
1176
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:56,204
but his part was so small,
there was zero photographic evidence.
1177
00:56:59,165 --> 00:57:01,167
But great job, Joe.
We're super proud of you.
1178
00:57:03,711 --> 00:57:06,464
Nick, don't look so terrified.
1179
00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:08,550
I haven't seen you this down
1180
00:57:08,633 --> 00:57:10,426
since I asked you
to be on Married to Jonas.
1181
00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:14,347
Now, Nick, you are a triple threat.
1182
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,307
You can sing, you can act,
1183
00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:19,018
you can threaten
to quit the band once again.
1184
00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:21,563
[sighs]
1185
00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:25,233
I'm not scarred from that at all.
1186
00:57:25,316 --> 00:57:27,402
[chuckles]
1187
00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:30,071
Nick was so excited to be the host of SNL
1188
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:32,157
as both the host and musical guest.
1189
00:57:34,576 --> 00:57:37,495
Nick finally got to collaborate
with his favorite person,
1190
00:57:37,996 --> 00:57:38,955
Nick Jonas.
1191
00:57:40,665 --> 00:57:45,003
But all roasting aside,
I am so glad that I wasn't a solo act.
1192
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:49,174
It has been the greatest joy of my life
being your big brother to both of you.
1193
00:57:49,257 --> 00:57:50,091
[audience] Aw!
1194
00:57:50,175 --> 00:57:53,011
Tied, of course, with marrying
this beautiful girl, Danielle.
1195
00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,137
I love you.
1196
00:57:54,220 --> 00:57:55,430
[audience cheers]
1197
00:57:56,014 --> 00:57:58,099
But the birth of my beautiful two girls
1198
00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:03,646
and being on the list
of, you know, People's Sexiest Man Alive.
1199
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:05,815
[audience cheers and applauds]
1200
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:07,692
That's right, now you can applaud.
1201
00:58:07,775 --> 00:58:08,735
I love you.
1202
00:58:09,736 --> 00:58:10,612
Gentlemen.
1203
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:12,822
Roasted.
1204
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:15,533
[Kenan] Kevin Jonas, everybody.
1205
00:58:16,951 --> 00:58:17,952
Good job, Kev.
1206
00:58:20,705 --> 00:58:21,539
All right.
1207
00:58:22,123 --> 00:58:26,586
Next up we have
Joe Jonas taking the stage.
1208
00:58:26,669 --> 00:58:27,712
Let's go, Joe.
1209
00:58:30,757 --> 00:58:31,883
That's right.
1210
00:58:33,509 --> 00:58:34,385
That's right.
1211
00:58:37,263 --> 00:58:38,139
Thank you.
1212
00:58:39,682 --> 00:58:42,852
I will pick "Childhood" for $200, please.
1213
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:46,022
Since you went first, Kevin,
you're up first.
1214
00:58:47,398 --> 00:58:49,400
Kevin, you've always been the first
at everything.
1215
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,069
Kevin was the first child.
1216
00:58:51,861 --> 00:58:53,738
He was the first to finish school.
1217
00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:55,615
He was the first to get married.
1218
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:58,493
He also was the first
to get kicked out of the band.
1219
00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:01,037
[audience laughs and groans]
1220
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:04,082
Kevin, growing up,
he soon found his own style.
1221
00:59:04,624 --> 00:59:06,834
He wore a lot of scarves,
even in the summertime.
1222
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,129
Not because it was cold.
1223
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:14,175
Because there was a lack of hickeys
for a 20-year-old rock star.
1224
00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:18,137
And sometimes you would get lonely.
1225
00:59:18,221 --> 00:59:20,306
Our first album we ever recorded,
1226
00:59:20,390 --> 00:59:24,310
Kevin spent a suspicious amount of time
in the bathroom, multiple times a day.
1227
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:30,400
We later found out that there was a stack
of Playboy magazines in his bathroom.
1228
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:33,695
It's the only time Kevin had a solo act.
1229
00:59:34,195 --> 00:59:36,906
[audience laughs]
1230
00:59:36,990 --> 00:59:37,949
Boom!
1231
00:59:38,741 --> 00:59:39,742
[chuckles]
1232
00:59:40,451 --> 00:59:42,662
Now, I was very lucky to have Kevin
as an older brother.
1233
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:44,497
He taught me so much about life.
1234
00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:46,624
Like, it's okay if you don't have one.
1235
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,043
[audience] Oh!
1236
00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:50,211
Hi, Nick.
1237
00:59:51,963 --> 00:59:53,881
Nothing has changed with Nick
since we were kids.
1238
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,675
Even the size of his tiny wiener.
1239
00:59:58,136 --> 01:00:00,555
Nick, if it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't be a band.
1240
01:00:01,139 --> 01:00:03,182
We would just be three brothers
who loved each other
1241
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:05,602
and didn't constantly talk shit
about your ego.
1242
01:00:07,645 --> 01:00:09,480
[Joe laughs]
1243
01:00:09,564 --> 01:00:12,275
-Oh, this is so fun!
-[audience cheers]
1244
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:13,818
I love it!
1245
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:18,239
I'm just so glad
I don't live with them anymore.
1246
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:20,241
This makes it so much easier. [laughs]
1247
01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:24,829
Oh! Even as a kid, Nick has always been
the most serious one in the family.
1248
01:00:25,413 --> 01:00:28,875
He's almost as serious
as his nipples are massive.
1249
01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:31,252
[audience shrieks with laughter]
1250
01:00:31,919 --> 01:00:32,795
[Nick] It's fake.
1251
01:00:33,671 --> 01:00:34,547
Fake news!
1252
01:00:35,256 --> 01:00:36,132
It's fake.
1253
01:00:37,425 --> 01:00:39,969
I'll show you right now.
They're not that big.
1254
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:43,723
And we all know this is just a meme
someone photoshopped.
1255
01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:45,767
We don't know who it was.
1256
01:00:48,353 --> 01:00:49,479
[whispers] Or do we?
1257
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,735
Nick's always been an old soul
in a young body.
1258
01:00:56,319 --> 01:00:58,488
More adult than any of us,
I gotta tell you that.
1259
01:00:58,571 --> 01:01:01,240
Even now, Nick is ten years younger
than his wonderful wife Priyanka,
1260
01:01:01,324 --> 01:01:02,325
who's in the house.
1261
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,537
Oh, shit. That reminds me.
We got to make this quick.
1262
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:07,497
It's a school night,
1263
01:01:07,580 --> 01:01:09,665
and I promised Priyanka
we'll get him home for curfew.
1264
01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:12,710
-Oh! [laughs]
-[Joe] I'm terribly sorry. We're on that.
1265
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:17,173
Look, I really don't believe there's
such a thing as the middle child syndrome.
1266
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:20,760
I guess that's easy for me when…
[chuckles] …Kevin's my older brother,
1267
01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:23,137
and my little brother's a little bitch.
1268
01:01:26,557 --> 01:01:28,976
[Kenan] Drop the mic, man. Yeah!
1269
01:01:29,060 --> 01:01:31,354
[audience cheering and applauding]
1270
01:01:31,979 --> 01:01:33,940
[Kenan] Joe Jonas, ladies and gentlemen.
1271
01:01:36,442 --> 01:01:37,402
That was fire.
1272
01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:41,948
-And last but definitely not least--
-Kenan! Kenan!
1273
01:01:42,448 --> 01:01:43,282
Great job.
1274
01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:46,703
I have had enough!
1275
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:49,122
Nick Jonas, folks.
1276
01:01:49,872 --> 01:01:51,249
[audience cheering and applauding]
1277
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:52,792
[Nick] Joe…
1278
01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:58,423
I will show the class my nipples
to prove they are not that big.
1279
01:01:58,506 --> 01:02:03,553
-[audience cheering]
-Hey! Let's go! Let's go!
1280
01:02:03,636 --> 01:02:06,264
And I am only a little bitch
1281
01:02:06,347 --> 01:02:08,516
on some days of the week.
1282
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:13,020
So thank you all so much
for coming to witness
1283
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:15,565
the Jonas Brothers Family Breakup!
1284
01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:21,112
You know, the last time we did this,
it was way less funny.
1285
01:02:21,779 --> 01:02:23,781
Pete Davidson wasn't here,
I'll tell you that much.
1286
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,575
And Netflix didn't even pay us.
1287
01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:28,911
I mean, we broke up for free.
1288
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,664
Who in their right minds would do that?
1289
01:02:32,832 --> 01:02:35,293
No. But we're not breaking up yet,
I promise.
1290
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,129
[audience cheers]
1291
01:02:39,046 --> 01:02:40,673
You see, we nailed it last time.
1292
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,216
After the band split,
1293
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:45,470
we were all able to grow
and follow our own passions,
1294
01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:48,806
branch out creatively, artistically.
1295
01:02:48,890 --> 01:02:53,227
For instance, Joe started his band,
DNCE, which was amazing.
1296
01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:55,813
[audience cheers]
1297
01:02:57,940 --> 01:02:58,816
And Kevin…
1298
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:05,531
Kevin was very busy…
1299
01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:08,826
starting his beautiful family
with Danielle, his wife.
1300
01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:14,999
They have two daughters,
Alena and Valentina.
1301
01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:17,502
But the sad thing is,
and most of you don't know this,
1302
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,295
is that when Kevin was starting
his family,
1303
01:03:19,378 --> 01:03:22,423
he had to put his side business
on the back burner for a while.
1304
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,009
And what was his side business,
you might ask?
1305
01:03:26,260 --> 01:03:28,513
Set in the early years
of the Jonas Brothers,
1306
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,431
when we were wearing those purity rings,
1307
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:33,476
Kevin started
a very scandalous side business
1308
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:35,186
to make a little cash on the side.
1309
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,940
No, it wasn't music or acting.
1310
01:03:41,108 --> 01:03:42,568
It was a male escort service.
1311
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:44,487
What?
1312
01:03:44,570 --> 01:03:45,696
Don't worry.
1313
01:03:46,364 --> 01:03:47,448
He remained pure.
1314
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:50,785
He just did mouth stuff.
1315
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,916
-[Priyanka] I can't.
-Sorry, Dad. [chuckles]
1316
01:03:57,792 --> 01:03:59,919
Come on.
We all know Kevin wasn't a male escort.
1317
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:01,045
He was the virgin!
1318
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,552
We all had our title.
1319
01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:09,011
I was the shy one.
1320
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:11,097
Uh, Joe was the cute one.
1321
01:04:11,722 --> 01:04:14,225
And Kevin was the virgin.
1322
01:04:15,601 --> 01:04:17,979
But it's cool, Kev.
You milked that for all it was worth.
1323
01:04:18,062 --> 01:04:19,063
You played it well, sir.
1324
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:21,399
But you know, it was around this time,
1325
01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:24,110
that you really started
coming into your own…
1326
01:04:26,070 --> 01:04:27,238
hand.
1327
01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:34,370
[sighs] Joe, on the other hand,
was a male escort.
1328
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:38,124
Only, nobody was paying him.
1329
01:04:40,042 --> 01:04:41,544
He did it for free.
1330
01:04:42,753 --> 01:04:45,214
Sorry, Joe, I'm not slut shaming you.
I promised you I wouldn't,
1331
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,216
you dirty man-whore, you.
1332
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,513
But I'm so glad you found love.
1333
01:04:52,597 --> 01:04:53,431
Of course.
1334
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:55,725
[audience cheers]
1335
01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:59,604
Kevin, for years you were able
to carve out your own space
1336
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:00,730
as the married guy.
1337
01:05:00,813 --> 01:05:03,190
But now, we've taken that away
from you too.
1338
01:05:05,192 --> 01:05:07,778
No, it's okay.
Maybe your thing could be reality TV.
1339
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,656
You had your show,
Married to Jonas with your wife Danielle.
1340
01:05:13,117 --> 01:05:16,662
And you were on one whole episode
of Celebrity Apprentice.
1341
01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:20,041
Until Donald Trump fired you.
1342
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:25,546
And that is actually the only thing
Donald Trump and I have in common.
1343
01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:33,346
I love you guys. Come on down here.
We're not breaking up.
1344
01:05:33,429 --> 01:05:34,347
Come on.
1345
01:05:34,847 --> 01:05:37,683
[Kenan] Nick Jonas, everybody.
That was awesome, buddy.
1346
01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,935
-["Sucker" playing]
-Glad that wasn't awkward.
1347
01:05:40,853 --> 01:05:42,897
We just want to say thank you very much
1348
01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:44,899
to Sophie Turner,
1349
01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:47,777
Danielle Jonas,
1350
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:50,988
Priyanka Chopra Jonas.
1351
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:56,702
Ladies and gentlemen,
that was the Jonas Brothers Family Roast.
1352
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:57,620
Goodnight!
1353
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:05,211
Hey, merchandise.
Get your merchandise right here.
1354
01:06:05,294 --> 01:06:06,879
Jonas Brothers, hey! Gentlemen.
1355
01:06:06,962 --> 01:06:11,133
Can I please interest you
in some fine Jonas Brothers merchandise?
1356
01:06:11,217 --> 01:06:12,385
I think we're all set.
1357
01:06:12,468 --> 01:06:14,762
Speaking of being all set,
your life will not be complete
1358
01:06:14,845 --> 01:06:18,557
without this Jonas Brothers
six-piece hair set.
1359
01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:20,518
Hmm? Eighty bucks.
1360
01:06:20,601 --> 01:06:22,436
Eighty dollars?
It's just a hunk of plastic.
1361
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,480
It is a collector's item.
1362
01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:26,899
And it will be worth
a lot of money… [chuckles]
1363
01:06:26,982 --> 01:06:28,567
…when you die.
1364
01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:33,114
And speaking of life,
oh, these Jonas Brothers slippers.
1365
01:06:33,197 --> 01:06:35,282
They give me life. Oh!
1366
01:06:35,366 --> 01:06:38,327
Nick, you know,
I think they're just your size.
1367
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:41,872
Okay, my feet are slightly bigger
than that.
1368
01:06:41,956 --> 01:06:43,874
You know, shoe size is a myth.
But it's okay.
1369
01:06:43,958 --> 01:06:46,544
-It's only $50.
-Fifty dollars?
1370
01:06:46,627 --> 01:06:49,046
Per slipper. It's a two-piece.
1371
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:52,717
Look, man, thank you for finding
all this old merch of ours
1372
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,969
and trying to resell it to us.
But I'm kind of hungry.
1373
01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:56,762
Uh, you know,
I'm gonna get something to eat.
1374
01:06:56,846 --> 01:07:02,101
Hey, you hungry? I got you covered.
Mira, Jonas Brothers lunchbox. [laughs]
1375
01:07:02,184 --> 01:07:03,853
Wow, my daughter would love this.
1376
01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:06,105
And for $15, I'll throw in the snacks.
1377
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,399
We'll think about it. We do got to go.
1378
01:07:08,482 --> 01:07:10,443
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1379
01:07:10,526 --> 01:07:15,614
How about this, an official,
one-of-a-kind Nick Jonas wallet?
1380
01:07:15,698 --> 01:07:17,324
I think that's just my wallet.
1381
01:07:17,908 --> 01:07:20,244
I left it in the green room.
Did you take my wallet?
1382
01:07:20,327 --> 01:07:24,415
Take. Borrow. You're getting it back. Eh…
1383
01:07:24,498 --> 01:07:25,332
For $200.
1384
01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:26,751
Dude. Are you kidding me?
1385
01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:30,880
You know what? Never mind. Just take it.
Just take it because I like you.
1386
01:07:30,963 --> 01:07:33,215
Even though the last song… Eh!
Okay, how about this?
1387
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:37,470
An official… [chuckles] …Joe Jonas doll.
1388
01:07:37,553 --> 01:07:41,932
Wait, hold up. Where's the Nick
and Kevin Camp Rock singing dolls?
1389
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,727
People really will enjoy playing
with the Kevin doll.
1390
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:46,395
Keep telling yourself that, Kev.
1391
01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:49,023
[sighs] Oh, look, one more thing.
1392
01:07:49,106 --> 01:07:50,733
[chuckles] Mmm!
1393
01:07:50,816 --> 01:07:52,818
I'm a sucker for you. [laughs]
1394
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,029
Mine sounds better.
There's more where that came from.
1395
01:07:55,112 --> 01:07:56,113
-Thank you.
-All right.
1396
01:07:56,197 --> 01:07:57,073
-Okay.
-See ya.
1397
01:07:57,156 --> 01:07:59,200
I'm actually gonna grab a couple things.
Be back later.
1398
01:07:59,283 --> 01:08:00,367
Hm-hmm.