- Welcome to my closet. [chuckles]
[gentle music]
- So you do all the interviews in here?
- Not all of them, but a lot of them.
- Why?
- I feel like I just get so shy,
and then also, like, almost robotic when I'm, like,
in a room with so many people.
And here, I just feel more free because it's, like,
my closet and no one's in here.
- It's definitely cozier than one of those chairs.
So this shall be interesting.
[upbeat music]
* *
How are you?
- Good.
- You seem very calm.
- I am.
Not really.
Should we go outside? - Yeah.
I am so excited to be in LA for Paris' first concert.
Growing up, we were always performing.
Like, when our parents would have dinner parties,
we would be putting on concerts.
- Always.
- Paula Abdul, plays,
selling fake tickets at the front door.
That has carried on to adulthood for some of us.
- [laughs]
- I didn't know you have a tennis court.
- Mm-hmm. - Sick.
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
- Well, why are you walking
around your house in those shoes?
- 'Cause I wanted to look cute for you.
- [laughs]
- The rehearsals every single day,
like, my back has been just destroyed.
Like... - Agh.
- I literally was in hysterics, crying,
like, every single night almost.
It's been hurting so much that I had to call a doctor,
and they prescribed, like, steroids.
That's supposed to take away the pain.
- Help with inflammation? - Yes, exactly.
- Is it better now? - Yeah.
It finally feels better.
- Yes.
- So who's coming tomorrow?
How many people does the theater hold?
- 1,500.
There's not even enough tickets or seats for people.
I had no idea this concert was gonna be so much work.
Just putting this all together,
the rehearsals every single day.
Remember how I told you I wanted to see a therapist?
- Yes.
- So I had a session with this woman named Dr. Bethany.
She was really amazing.
I've just been having just
all these really intrusive thoughts.
Just when I'm holding Phoenix, then all of a sudden,
like, some traumatic experience will come back in my memory.
I'll start just thinking of all these horrible things
that I've been through.
I can't even fully be in the moment.
It's just not fair for Phoenix just to not get the full me.
- We've talked about your PTSD
with those recurring nightmares you had.
- Mm-hmm.
- But hearing that she has sad thoughts
while holding Phoenix is so heartbreaking.
It makes me feel horrible.
What advice did she give you to cope with these feelings?
- She made me feel better about it because she told me
that this is actually something that
so many trauma survivors go through.
And she was just explaining to me how important it is
that I be the primary attachment for Phoenix,
and to trust my instincts.
- Bringing a human into this world
and being responsible for them,
it's--it's scary.
Parenthood is scary.
- Did you feel that way with your first baby?
- I never experienced intrusive thoughts
while holding my baby, but definitely, like,
nerves and being scared, and, am I doing this right?
Am I holding her correctly?
So you're definitely not alone.
- I think I just have to stop questioning myself
and believe in myself, 'cause I've proven by now
I can do anything and everything.
- Yes, you got this.
You need that attitude.
That baby needs you to have that attitude.
- I know.
And Phoenix came to rehearsal. - Aw.
- It was just so sweet just being on stage
and, like, seeing him look up and just, like,
seeing all the lights and the sparkles.
- So cute. - He loved it.
I love you, Phoenix.
I love you, baby.
[upbeat music]
- He's not coming to the show though, right?
- No. It'll be so dangerous.
So many people, so loud.
- What, is he gonna be crowd-surfing?
- [laughs] Yes.
After the concert, I wanna just focus on being a mom
and being there for Phoenix.
I know that, like you said, it just moves so fast.
- It moves so fast.
Well, I hope you start seeing this doctor more often.
What about Mom?
- I did the first session just alone without Mom,
but I'm gonna have another session with us.
- You should.
Therapy for Paris and my mom is a wonderful thing.
These are two people who don't like to talk,
especially about important things.
Them having a mediator there
to help push the conversation is essential.
- Um-- - You're like Mom.
Now you're fixing my hair to deflect.
- No, I was really--because it was, like, in the back,
it was, like, going, like...
- Mm-hmm. - That.
I finally have the courage to do it.
I'm scared, but I can't wait.
- I'm excited.
Invincible boss bitch vibes.
- [laughs]
- * Honestly, I'm about to show you things *
* A world you've never seen *
* Get ready, get ready *
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *
[FLA & Fairchild's "Honestly"]
- Good morning.
- You're a deep sleeper.
[sighs]
Today's the big day.
This is something I've been dreaming about
since I'm a little girl.
- 12-year-old me would just say, go slay it, sis.
[bleep].
- * Get ready, baby *
* Everything, oh, oh, oh *
[cheers and applause]
- I'm here to see Paris.
- We're here to see Paris. - Paris Hilton.
- Paris Hilton.
- Paris [beep] Hilton.
- * I'm about to show you, show you *
* Get ready, baby *
* Everything, oh, oh, oh *
[cheers and applause]
- We're so excited.
This is her first concert ever.
- We have some matching Paris tattoos.
- That's hot. [laughs]
- * Honestly, oh, yeah *
* Get ready, get ready *
- Morning.
Ready? Showtime? - Ready.
- Yes!
Let's show the world.
[car beeps]
- You ready?
So excited.
- So excited.
- Slay. - Yes.
- Really? - Sick.
- Do you want some of these for your back
before we put outfits and everything?
- Yeah.
[tense music]
[electronic music]
- * Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi *
- * Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro *
[laughter] - It's, like, a whole thing.
- * No * Come on.
- [trills]
[upbeat music]
- This is our first full dress rehearsal with tech,
visuals, everything.
- Let's rehearse.
Ready? Okay.
Here we go.
- My back was in so much pain this week
that I didn't really wanna push myself.
- Dancers, Paris.
[cheers and applause]
- So this will literally be the first time
that we do the show.
[cheers and applause]
Am I going here? Uh...
- No spotlight. No spotlight. Too early.
We don't wanna see her sit down.
That's tacky.
Hey, Pete, one more time.
We're gonna try that one more time.
And playback.
- Oh, no! - Oh, shit.
Hopefully that doesn't happen during the show, [bleep].
Most performers would have several months of rehearsal
to prepare for a concert like this.
I only had one month.
- Sit down and sing.
- * I don't really care what they think they know *
- Yeah! - Cut. Again.
- I'm such a perfectionist.
It's something that I've been working so hard for,
so it needs to be perfect.
- Side and side, and hit.
Yes. You're do--you're killing it.
- Up, up, up, up, and... - * That's hot *
- Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
It's gonna be so good. [laughs]
[upbeat music]
[cheers and applause]
* *
[camera shutters clicking]
[cheers and applause]
* *
- We love you, Paris!
- Hi!
- I'm so excited.
I'm gonna cry. You ready?
Are we visualizing it?
You're gonna be shaking.
You're gonna hear the crowd roaring.
It's gonna play that intro, and curtains up.
- What? - Rock and roll.
- Icons only, bitch.
[energetic music]
[cheers and applause]
* *
- Hallelujah.
Paris is really shy,
and she's coming into her own now.
My heart is just filled with joy for her.
- Hey, guys.
- Quickly. - Wish me luck.
- I love you too.
- Five minutes. Let's go.
crowd: [chanting] Paris! Paris! Paris!
- We're about to start.
- I am so nervous.
- Those are good nerves though. You wanna be...
- Let it go. - A tiny bit nervous.
- It's almost time for Paris.
Make some noise for that.
[cheering]
- Are you guys ready for Paris?
- We love you, Paris!
crowd: [chanting] Paris! Paris! Paris!
[bass-heavy music playing]
- We're good. We're good, P.
I've been having so many nightmares about this
where I'm up on stage, and then, all of a sudden,
I lose my voice.
What if I forget the dance moves?
I'm freaking out over that.
crowd: [chanting] Paris! Paris! Paris!
[dramatic music]
[cheers and applause]
- Sliving.
[crowd cheering]
crowd: [chanting] Paris! Paris! Paris!
[apprehensive music]
crowd: [chanting] Paris! Paris! Paris!
* *
[cheers and applause]
Sliving.
A lifestyle.
- If you wanna be famous, you just need to be awesome.
- Icons only, bitch.
Let's go.
[Paris Hilton's "Turn it Up"]
That's hot.
- We love you, Paris!
- * When it gets real loud, make it even louder *
* Gotta turn me on *
* Gotta make me holla *
* You gotta know what to do if you wanna get down *
* Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up *
* Oh, don't be afraid to turn it up *
[crowd cheering]
Are you guys having a good time?
[crowd cheering]
Oh, my God.
This is so amazing.
I love you guys so much.
Let's do this.
It's exhilarating performing songs from my first album,
but also, I am so nervous, excited for everyone
to hear the new music that I've been recording.
It's awkward singing in front of people,
but tonight is about trusting myself and my talents
and letting go of the fear.
Everyone, give it up for my girl,
Saweetie.
[crowd cheering]
- You guys ready for new music?
[crowd cheering] [Paris Hilton, "Hot One"]
* That's what I like *
* We got Britt, she the fun one *
* Chad, he the hung one *
* Shit, I forgot one *
* Me, I'm the hot one *
- Watching Paris perform, feeling her love,
feeling her energy, I just could not be more proud.
The thing that's blown me away the most
since we got together is,
anything she puts her mind to, she accomplishes.
- That's hot.
[crowd cheering]
[Paris Hilton's "Legacy"]
You ready for another new song?
- Yeah!
- This is "Legacy."
* I don't really care if we stay or leave *
* If it's cool with you, then it's cool with me *
* In the car *
* On the beach *
* In your arms *
* All I need *
- The concert is beyond my wildest expectations.
She is full-on dancing like we're at a real mega pop show.
So good.
And I'm not just saying that 'cause I'm her sister.
It's epic.
[crowd cheering]
- * I know there are the memories *
* You know that in reality *
* That loving you is my legacy *
* 'Cause loving you is my legacy *
[crowd cheering]
I love you guys.
I love you guys so much.
What a special night.
Give it up for my girl, Kim Petras!
[crowd cheering]
- * Baby, baby, I could be your confidante *
* Come on over, show me if you're down or not *
* Make your whole jaw drop, give you all that talk *
* Finna ride with Paris *
* Why shouldn't we be with the ones we really love? *
* Now tell me, who have you been dreaming of? *
* I and I alone *
* Oh, no, oh *
both: * Even though the gods are crazy *
* Even though the stars are blind *
* If you show me real love, baby *
* I'll show you mine *
* I can make it nice and naughty *
* Be the devil and angel too *
* Got a heart and soul and body *
* Let's see what this love can do *
[crowd cheering]
- Love you guys!
That's hot!
Keep sliving!
[crowd cheering]
- Yes!
[bleep] did it!
Well done. Well done.
- Yes!
- Oh, my God.
- Yes!
So hot!
After the hell I put myself through with all the anxiety
and the rehearsals, my excruciating back pain,
it was all worth it.
It really was.
- I was born to do this.
Music is the one thing that I truly just love with every--
is it fiber of my being, or being of my fiber?
- Fiber of a being.
That sounds weird now.
- You killed it. You killed it.
- Yay.
[upbeat music]
* *
- That was awesome. Do you feel great?
- Ugh. I was so nervous.
- You were so amazing.
- Thank you.
- We wore our shirts.
- Oh, my God, I love you.
- [laughs]
I'm so proud of you.
[camera shutters clicking]
- Hi, guys! - Whoo! Paris!
* *
- Thank you. - You did great!
- Congratulations!
- When I saw the curtains come up,
everyone was screaming.
Like, the stadium was shaking.
It felt like an earthquake.
- Like, you could just feel the love.
Like, I've never been in a concert or in a room like that
and felt so much, like, happiness, love.
It was, like, electrifying.
- I was blown away.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Takes a lot to get a compliment
from this one over here, so it means a lot.
[laughter]
- Mom's here. - Mom!
- You were so good.
- Thank you.
- Boy, she wants to do something,
she sets her mind, and she does it.
The fearlessness that I was worried about
when she was younger has actually been
the driving force behind all her success.
- Oh, my Aunt Kim. - Oh!
- Thank you.
- It was so much fun.
- This has been a very exciting night.
She's killed it.
And now I'm hoping she can kind of chill
and cool down for a little bit.
I just wanna tell you, I'm so proud of you.
And now you get to go home
to your beautiful little boy and just
stop and smell the roses. - Yeah.
- It used to always be, you leave all this,
and then you're alone, laying in a bed, nothing.
- Well, I didn't have nothing, but...
- Nothing? - Well--
- No, I had everything, but I-- - You had everything--
- It felt like nothing because it wasn't--
- You were lonely too. - It was empty.
This was so incredible tonight.
- Hold on. Can you just tuck it in?
'Cause it looks like a little hanging nut sack.
[laughs]
- * I just like being alone *
* It's no joke, it's my soul *
* This is my life *
- We've talked to "Forbes," "TIME," and TED.
- TED Talk? - TED Talk.
I know, really, really cool.
They are very interested in focusing
on mental health with you.
- I don't even know, like, how I feel right now.
I just wanna try to do as many things
that we can from home as possible
so I'm able to go check on the baby
and not have to leave him so much.
- Yep, for sure. - For sure.
- * This is my life *
[upbeat music]
- [gasps] Angel.
- This is little Phoenix.
I'm gonna go put him for a nap, and then...
- Well, it was nice meeting you.
He's, like, as big as your torso already.
- I know. - How did he come out of you?
- He didn't. - I know. [laughs]
- I'll be back in two minutes. - Okay.
- Love you.
I'll be back.
- * Lose control *
* It's my soul *
- We are celebrating today with the queen, Gigi Gorgeous.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What's one of your pet peeves?
- I hate when people smell bad.
[laughter]
- Ooh, you want to fly. Ooh.
[Phoenix cooing]
- He's trying to talk.
- [babbling]
- Did he say "mama"?
He said my name first. - [laughs]
- * This is my life *
* Lose control, it's my soul *
[dog barking]
[Phoenix crying]
Are you a nice baby?
[upbeat music]
Love you.
Okay.
Oh.
- I didn't know you were here yet.
- I was in with the baby. - Aw.
- Cute. He's getting so big.
- I know.
My mom and I have made so much progress,
but it's always been really difficult
to talk about emotions with my mom.
And we don't like talking about hard things.
So I'm really hoping with this therapy session,
we can have real, meaningful conversations
that are sometimes really hard to have.
- Oh, it feels nice and cool.
I'm hoping to get a better understanding
of our relationship.
- You must be Kathy. - Yes.
And I think if we both really like the person and we jive,
that's gonna be great.
- Come in and have a seat. - Great.
I'll walk around this way. - Oop, walk around this way.
- Okay. Okay.
- I think it's so exciting to see both of you together.
I'm wondering if there's something
you'd like to talk about.
- I guess you and Nicky were saying that, um,
I don't tell you certain things.
[pensive music]
- You do just want to focus on the positive
and the happy things, and you wouldn't tell us
when we were little if an animal died,
if a goldfish died.
You just didn't deal with it.
- I don't like to tell things to people
that is gonna hurt them.
* *
Like, let's say there was something
I wanted to tell you at your concert.
That's not a good time.
There's always something really special going on.
- Mm-hmm - And I don't wanna
burst anybody's bubble.
- But sometimes that's a muscle you need to learn
to flex too, right? You need to--
- Right.
Paris and I are a lot alike in the fact that,
like, I'll sweep things under the carpet, or I hide.
- Mm.
- We hate confrontation.
- We do not like confrontation.
I avoid it like you can't believe.
It's really hard for me.
- Wow, so that's amazing that you're here,
because sometimes a mother-daughter session
can become confrontational,
confronting issues, confronting the past,
confronting experiences.
What would be an example of you being nonconfrontational?
- With not being there with the whole thing with Phoenix.
- What do you mean not being there
with the whole thing with Phoenix?
- Well, she didn't tell anybody about the baby coming.
- Oh.
- I told everyone about Phoenix when he was a week old,
including my whole family.
- Wow.
What was that like for you?
- It's really hard to get me upset.
I just need a timeout.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get a cheese sandwich.
[laughter]
I'm so sensitive, yet it never bothered me.
Maybe it did, and I don't ever face that.
- Hmm.
- I think that I should feel more...
maybe hurt or upset.
It's weird.
- I wonder if you're in a state of shock.
- Maybe because you've been so upset in the past
when I was a teenager, worrying you and sneaking out
and just being, like, a rebel,
you just went through so much
that now you're numb to it, I don't know.
- Were you numb before that?
[soft dramatic music]
- I've done that, I think, on and off, uh,
probably my whole life.
I keep throwing it in the back drawer,
throwing it in the closet,
in the basement, and shutting the door,
and just thinking it's gonna go away.
- Mm-hmm.
- And then it's just getting bigger,
and it festers, and it festers.
I believe though, everything happens
at the right time though, too.
- Mm.
You did something just now.
You had this strong feeling, but then you took a retreat
into this very logical, intellectual,
well, everything happens for a reason.
I'm noticing these eerie parallels
between the two of you.
- Maybe. - For sure.
- You both numb out.
You both, when very significant things happen,
it just--kind of like water off a duck's back.
- But the sad thing about it is,
even some of the happy, exciting times, it's like...
- Mm-hmm.
With Phoenix, do you feel bonded with him?
- Not yet.
I lost it.
I lost a little bit of time. - Aw.
Nicky has a baby? - Yes.
- Your daughter. - Mm-hmm.
- Did you feel bonded with her child
when the child was five months? - Well, I'm very close
with her children. - Mm-hmm.
- So-- - You were in the delivery room
for all of them. - And I was in
the delivery room with all of them.
We're very involved.
But that's also very important to Nicky and James.
- Paris, you missed out on that whole parental thing
of facilitating involvement
between your child and your parent.
Does this remind you of what we were
talking about in our session?
- Yeah.
- I was sharing with Paris
that one of the top symptoms of trauma
is detachment and estrangement from others.
- Hmm.
- And you feel that people are gonna hurt you again,
so you wall them off.
- Yeah.
* *
Oof.
- For Phoenix, I wanna really be thoughtful of everything.
I just realized just how much your childhood
and everything affects you for the rest of your life,
and then it-- - It does.
- It passes on to the next generation.
- Mm-hmm. - So it's important to fix
the generation now
to stop it from happening to the next one.
- You should encourage each other
'cause you both want the same things.
It would help you to spend time together.
You'll never make up for the trauma,
but just as one generation teaches the next,
you're still in a position to teach her and to protect her.
- Mm-hmm. - You can maybe help her learn
how to be a more ferocious mother.
- Mm-hmm. - It would wake you up
to who you want to be with her.
[hopeful music]
- I definitely agree.
I should keep the relationship go--
like, make the phone calls and call back
and be mature enough to just deal with it straight on.
- Mm-hmm. - For sure.
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe we can have another chat.
- I'd love that.
- Am I making any sense to you? Do you agree?
- Yeah.
- Does it make you kind of think, wow, I'm not alone?
- Definitely.
* *
[upbeat music]
* *
- Hi. - Hey, Phoenix.
- Hi. - What's happening?
How you doing, Phoenix? Yeah!
You're a happy boy?
You guys look so much alike.
- He has your eyebrows.
[Phoenix squeals] - [gasps]
Yay.
- [blows raspberry]
- Oh, yeah.
[trills]
- Tickly!
- [gurgles]
both: Yeah!
Mommy had some inspiration of clouds coming down.
The mobile's cute. - So cute.
I wanna get one made of all the dogs.
Like, me in the middle and then the dogs all running around.
- That'd be fun.
How was therapy with your mom?
- It was good.
- Good-good or... [chuckles]
- No, I thought it was good, but I just felt bad
because when we were talking about Phoenix,
she was saying that she doesn't feel bonded with him,
I think 'cause she didn't know about him
until after he was born.
- Why doesn't Kathy feel bonded with you, Phoenix?
- Don't tell him that.
- Oh, no. Shh.
- [gasps] Are you a secret?
Are you a secret guy?
- We were just trying to keep you private
for as long as possible.
Do you think you would change?
When it's time for London, would you tell people?
- I don't know, I'm always just worried
about what people say,
and I don't like that energy.
Life felt complete having Phoenix,
but I feel like it'll feel more complete
when I have a daughter, London.
I'd want them to be, like, one grade apart in school.
The time is coming soon.
I want to tell my mom because I feel like it's
really gonna hurt her feelings if I don't tell her.
Nicky was saying that you were upset
about not being involved in the pregnancy.
- When the next one comes,
I definitely want to be part of it.
[tense music]
And I would feel hurt.
- The pro is that she'll be happy,
and she'll help me plan the nursery and baby clothes.
But it was just so nice just having
no one bothering us or-- like, I don't know,
it was just, like, our world.
- We just got to have the journey
all ourselves, Phoenix.
- I'm, like, torn between both.
- Should we flip a coin?
- Yes.
[laughter] - You are just tricky today.
All right.
- I'm gonna think about it some more.
I know I can trust her.
It's just-- it's a hard decision.
[smooches] Hello.
- Did you find any other good classes
or activities you wanna do with Phoenix?
- Swimming. - Oh, fun.
- I think it'll be good for me too,
'cause they said it helps with just, like, healing trauma
and, like, living more in the moment.
- [gurgling]
- And I'm just excited for all those moments together.
[upbeat music]
* *
Are you excited to go swimming? [doorbell rings]
Do you wanna go in the pool, the big bath?
- Hello? - Let's put on
your waterproof diaper.
- Paris?
- Excited?
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi. - Oh, my goodness.
Are we gonna go swimming?
I think it's wonderful that Paris
is starting Phoenix with swim classes early like this.
We lived in New York, so we were not around any pools.
So the girls didn't take swimming lessons
till we moved to Los Angeles.
You're trying to talk already?
I've never seen a six-month-old be put in the water.
I've seen it on TV.
And it makes me nervous how they just throw them in.
- Let's put on his little waterproof diaper.
- Yep. Just take a little wipey.
You start from the top and down to the bottom.
- I know. - You don't go--yeah.
[laughter]
Right? - Yeah.
- Like you would do for yourself.
I love you. I love you.
We're gonna have fun now.
- [fussing]
- I think he's scared of my hat.
- It's okay.
Let's go downstairs. - Are you ready?
Let's go.
- Do you think he needs them?
- His eyes are just so... - Sensitive.
- All right. Are we ready to swim?
Are we ready?
- Oh, my God, it's too hot.
Wait. [laughs]
Should I hold him? - It's so hot.
- Wait, this is, like, really deep.
- Hi. Phoenix.
- Like, this way? - Mm-hmm.
- Yes. - Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.
- Yes. - Whoo.
- Watch. The fishy's coming up.
Look at the fish. Okay, look, look, look, look.
- Is that a fish? - Look.
Look at the fishy.
- Ooh.
- Yes. - Can you hold him one moment?
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
- OK. [babbling]
OK.
This will make him happy. - Yeah.
- Whoo! [Phoenix stops crying]
- There we go.
- They're like flippers. [laughter]
- Yay. - Yay, big boy.
[laughing] Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
- I was facing him towards my mom.
- She doesn't like to be called that.
[laughter]
- Um...no.
I know it'll come in time.
What's most important to me is that
Phoenix has a close relationship with his family.
But I know for that to happen,
I have to prioritize work before family.
[laughter]
- Phoenix.
- Are you ready to go?
One, two, three, ready to go.
I'm scared.
[all cheer]
Mom! - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry. - No.
- I'm sorry. - [crying]
- I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry.
- Thanks.
- Kicking, kicking.
[all cheer]
- Good boy.
- He looks exactly like Carter right now.
- One minute, he'll look exactly like you,
and then I see Carter.
Then I see Dad.
Are these little piggies?
Num, num, num, num, num.
- [chuckles] - Really sweet.
- Good job, buddy. - I'm so happy I could be here.
- I'm so happy you came.
- It's good to end on a positive note, right?
- Yeah. - Are we gonna dunk him again?
- No, it's good to end on a negative note.
- I think we're good. - I think we're good.
And he even did it himself. - Yeah.
[upbeat music]
* *
- I'm so glad that we had this time.
I feel like we made up for a little lost time.
- These are the things that really matter.
Now that I'm a mom, I can understand more than ever
why you were so protective of me.
I can't imagine anything happening to him ever.
I'd be--like, hold him tight and keep him little forever.
- I know.
Trust me.
It does not matter how old your children are.
You wanna protect them and be there and...
pick them up when they fall.
- I love you.
[buzzes lips]
- I will always show up.
I will always be there, no matter what.
- Thank you for coming with me to therapy.
- I loved her.
I'm really glad that we had that session.
- Me too.
It made me sad to hear that you felt like
you didn't connect with Phoenix.
- I was being honest.
I wasn't in the delivery room.
And I didn't have the wait and the excitement
and the anticipation and being able to share that with you,
so when I was asked a question,
I'm gonna be honest.
You know what? I always want you to feel--
and I wanna be able to feel that I can tell you anything
and that you can trust me.
You know I'm a vault.
- I know.
- You tell me that something is completely private
and off-limits, I don't--
I don't share that, and I think you know that.
- You're such an amazing mom, and you're so strong.
And you're such an inspiration to me.
My mom's definitely hinting about wanting
to find out about baby number two.
I--I don't even know how to word this.
I don't know.
We've come so far.
Even though I didn't wanna tell anyone,
now I'm really questioning if I should or not.
- This is our bond moving forward.
I love you, sweetheart. - I love you, Mom.
[Phoenix fussing] - This damn hat.
[laughter]
- [vocalizing]
* I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you *
- Outside the Box is a child development-led program.
In order for your child to be able to regulate information,
especially sound, they need to be exposed to it.
[drum bangs] You agree with me.
I hear you.
We are about to make some loud music.
[instruments jangling]
- He loves it.
[all cheer] - Very nicely done.
- Every month, it just gets better with little Phoenix
because he's more responsive,
and there's more you can do with him.
- Being there for all of Phoenix's daily routines,
it's worth every adjustment.
We should do this, like, every week.
- Yeah. - Are you hungry and tired?
[Phoenix fussing]
* *
So what are you gonna wear?
They're supposed to protect from coyotes.
Ether.
You look so punk rock. [laughs]
My number one priority is the kids.
I've been dreaming about London.
Are you excited to meet your new sister?
- [babbles] - Yes?
I just know that Phoenix is gonna be
the best big brother.
I just can't wait for the future.
- [vocalizing]
* I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you *
* *
- Hi, honey. - Hi.
- Hi there. Is that little Baby Face?
- Crypto. - Crypto?
- Mm-hmm. She had her hair cut.
- Hi. Hi, honey.
- Hi. I love your shoes.
- I have that dress. Mwah.
[sighs] What's going on?
Oh, is the baby up?
- No.
- He's sleeping? - Yeah.
How was your day?
- I'm getting nervous.
- What? - I don't know.
[laughter]
- What? - What's going on?
I don't like these meetings.
- I have a surprise for you.
[playful mysterious music]
I'll be right back.
- I'm so worn out with these surprises.
The last time I was in this situation,
I was introduced to Phoenix.
* *
You're joking.
So at this point, I don't know what to think.
[breathes shakily]
* *
- Your favorite.
- That's it?
I thought you were gonna go get another blanket.
[sniffles]
- I love Chanel.
I just know that you love to carry around
so much stuff with you.
- So what are we saying?
- What?
- What's going on?
- Well, I have another surprise.
- You have another surprise?
* *
Don't even start with me.
Oy, oy, oy.
- [chuckles]
Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
* *
No!
No.
Are you kidding me?
Wait.
What?
- This is your grand-doggy babies.
- Wait, what?
- This is Diamond and Baby,
Diamond's clones.
- Oh, my God.
- How cute are they?
- Oh, my goodness.
* *
Oh, my goodness.
Yes.
- Carter found this company.
They just can take a dog's cells,
and they can make your same exact dog.
It's been ten months since Diamond Baby ran away,
and I just feel like part of me is missing.
Diamond Baby!
Diamond!
She was like my sister, my best friend, my sidekick.
And I'm so happy and grateful
that Carter figured out a way to get her back.
- I wanted to give you all an update.
We've had two puppies born for you.
- I got twin girls.
- Phoenix, you wanna meet Diamond Baby?
- That's your two little sisters.
It's just a dream come true.
Did you think it was Diamond?
- I saw the one little head,
so I just thought it was Diamond Baby.
You came out.
I didn't see you until you were sitting down.
And then I thought it was London.
And I thought, how-- she can't do that to me again.
- Um... [clears throat]
I've just been thinking about it a lot.
I just feel like I love you so much.
I feel closer to you than ever.
I feel like we've just come so far, and...
I just feel like I have a whole new relationship with you.
But I feel that I wanna do
the same thing that I did with Phoenix
and make it a surprise for everyone.
- You wanna make it a surprise?
[dramatic music]
[tense music]
* *
- I love you so much.
I feel closer to you than ever.
I feel like we've just come so far, and...
I just feel like I have a whole new relationship with you.
But I feel that I wanna do
the same thing that I did with Phoenix
and make it a surprise for everyone.
- You wanna make it a surprise?
- It has nothing to do with you.
This is all me.
But with Phoenix, just having all of that time
where no one in the world knew but me and Carter...
- I get it.
I mean, at the end of the day,
your happiness is my happiness.
- So you're not mad?
- No. I mean, it's a happy--it's a--
would I like to be included in every little thing?
Of course. But I promise you,
I want what you want.
I'm good.
I'm very happy now.
- [chuckles] - I'm very happy now.
When your children are happy, you're happy.
My cup is very full.
- Yes. [chuckles]
- Paris and I are connecting more now
and understanding each other more now.
I just wanna be as involved as they want me to be.
I wanna move forward and have family time
and just be together and have barbecues
and all the grandchildren running around.
That's always been my dream.
- How was the surprise?
- Oh, my God. - [laughs]
- Carter, you have brought so much happiness to our family.
Look at this.
- They're so precious.
- How is--is--uh--
I was gonna say Philip.
[laughter] - Who's Philip?
- I think that's Phoenix's alter ego.
- I keep calling him Philip all the time.
- Philip? [laughter]
[upbeat music]
* *
- First time eating solid foods, Phoenix.
Yeah. - Excited.
- All right.
[blender whirring]
- Excited? Yay, broccoli!
[blender grinding]
- That's tough for your first meal.
You get broccoli. That's pretty brutal.
- Well, don't tell him that. We want him to like it.
- All right. - You ready?
Some broccoli. [gasps]
Here we go. [laughter]
- Little bites.
[gasps]
- Yummy.
Broccoli.
He's like, this is not what I was expecting.
Good boy.
Chewing, chewing.
- Chewing, chewing. - Swallowing.
It doesn't look like he likes it.
- I can't believe Phoenix is six months old.
- Yeah, just like that.
He'll be crawling soon, walking soon.
- I know. He's getting so big.
He was, like, a little--
I was looking at old photos from the hospital,
and he was like this little, tiny glowworm.
I'll never forget when you were holding him
and just, like, looking at him and crying,
and it was just so sweet.
- I'm so happy that I filmed that 'cause that's, like,
a memory I can't wait to show him one day.
- * You're my bright light *
* You're my bright light *
Hi.
- The first few months, we were just always
so worried we were gonna do something wrong
that we were kind of more hands-off.
- Nothing prepares you for this.
Should I learn how to change his diaper?
- Yeah. - I'm scared.
- You've never done it? - No.
Um, okay. - Be gentle.
- Wipe the butt in case there's pee?
- Gentle. - I am.
- That's hot.
- Now we kind of know the drill,
and so we'll just be able to be a lot more hands-on
from the minute London's born
'cause now we know what we're doing.
- I know. I feel so much more prepared.
- I forget, Paris. Do we have any secrets?
- [gasps] No!
- This is not exactly what I pictured on the first feeding
'cause he's now got broccoli in his kneecaps.
[laughter] - Sorry.
After the way we surprised everyone with Phoenix,
people are just expecting her any day now.
- People think they know, but nobody knows.
We're having-- [laughter]
- * I wanna see love *
* Forever, ever, ever *
* Everlasting love *