1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,633 KHLOÉ: Previously on The Kardashians... 2 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:11,094 BOTH [high-pitched]: Hi. 3 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,721 - Let's rub our bellies. 4 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:17,351 - This is a relationship that I don't think anybody saw coming. 5 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,019 - I definitely saw this coming. 6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,896 - Hey, you can't, you can't. 7 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,482 - All I need is just to be acknowledged. 8 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,525 - Right. 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,443 - Oh, do I even mean anything to anyone? 10 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,362 - Oh my god, I'm hosting SNL. 11 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,280 They were like, "Can you sing?" Nope. 12 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,200 "Can you dance?" Nope. "Can you act?" No. 13 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,788 There's more footage from the sex tape that's been out there. 14 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,666 And it said, "Kim's New Sex Tape" when you clicked on it. 15 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:45,379 And it's, like, over my dead body is this [bleep] shit gonna happen to me again. 16 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:53,262 ♪ intense music playing ♪ 17 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:03,105 - So, Ray J's manager is claiming he has a sex tape 18 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,648 of us in Santa Barbara. - Oh, oh, oh. 19 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,694 KIM: I'm trying to pack for SNL, 20 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,280 and now I have to deal with this sex tape drama. 21 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,867 Nineteen years this has been held over my head. 22 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:18,036 This is the shit that I did when I was young, and I need to own it. 23 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,746 That was 20 years ago. I didn't know what to do. 24 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,374 I had no money and I did not know what to do. 25 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:27,504 I have all the time, all the money, and all of the resources 26 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,007 to burn them all to the [bleep] ground. 27 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:34,553 I'll do everything in my power to protect myself and to protect my kids, 28 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,097 so I'm not gonna be shamed by this, and, like, bullied. 29 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,142 Don't you think you should call the guy and say, "I just want you to know 30 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,728 that this guy is not the rightful owner of anything"? 31 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,022 - We don't know what this is. 32 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,816 This could be really, really bad. 33 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,486 So, the best thing I can do is stay positive, 34 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:55,365 make sure everybody stays calm, and just keep things moving. 35 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,784 - I'm about to get all my attorneys involved 36 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,786 to sue the [bleep] out of these [bleep]. 37 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:06,835 - Guys, I love you, but I have a meeting. Keep me posted, okay? 38 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,630 KIM: Okay. - Sorry, we didn't help you pack, Kim. 39 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,924 If you need us to help you with your looks or anything-- 40 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,009 - No, not about the looks, 41 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,053 if she needs emotional support. - I know, but she's gotta pack 42 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,554 the suitcase so she can leave. - She's fine. 43 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,015 If you need me to come over after True goes to bed, 44 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,308 I can come over. 45 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,768 I'm not doing anything. - Thank you. 46 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,605 KRIS: All right, we love you, Kim. KHLOÉ: Love you, Joge. 47 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,024 KRIS: Let us know if you need us, okay? 48 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,067 KIM: 'Kay. 49 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,824 ♪ Glimmer by Nicole Serrano playing ♪ 50 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:43,830 ♪ Don't quit dreaming until every dream comes to life ♪ 51 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,583 ♪ Life ♪ 52 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:53,507 ♪ Just keep holding on, it's all a matter of time ♪ 53 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,093 - I really wanted to see the houses in Malibu. 54 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:59,471 - Me too, but I like lookin' at houses with you. - Me too. 55 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,641 Travis and I currently live in separate homes 56 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,309 a block away from each other, 57 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:09,857 and we just wanna, like, explore the idea of living in one home. 58 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,484 This is cute. This is a cute vibe. 59 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:17,447 We're so in love with our homes right now and where we live 60 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:21,243 that it's gonna be really hard to find something to beat that. 61 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,619 TOMER: Hey, guys. BOTH: Hi. 62 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,538 - How are you? Good to see you. TRAVIS: How you doing? Good to see you. 63 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,172 TOMER: So, this is actually one of the most important estates in Bel Air. 64 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,258 It was built in 1934 for a really prominent family. 65 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,551 Walk on through. 66 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:41,930 But it's got that really beautiful pedigree look from the '30s. 67 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,266 KOURTNEY: This house has a really cool style. 68 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,853 It, kind of, reminds me of, like, old Hollywood, 69 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,148 Frank Sinatra vibes, like, which is so us. 70 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,817 This is Mason's room. TRAVIS: Mm-hm. 71 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,361 KOURTNEY: Alabama's... Landon's room. 72 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,654 TRAVIS: This is Ati's room. 73 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,531 KOURTNEY: Yeah, and there's even a nice closet. 74 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,909 TRAVIS: I like it. - I could see us all, like, 75 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,952 laying on the couch and watching movies, 76 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,787 and cooking together. 77 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,918 My parents had a setup like this growing up 78 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,794 with two separate sides. 79 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,671 TRAVIS: Oh, she's definitely got the better side. 80 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,884 [whispers]: You should try 'em on. - No. 81 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,719 [laughing] 82 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:25,599 - So, the pool has fiber optic lighting. It lights up at night. 83 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,017 KOURTNEY: Oh, cool. TOMER: It's really pretty. 84 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,102 Yeah, so. KOURTNEY: Yeah. 85 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,194 Oh my god, people were, like, pissed 86 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:40,322 about the Disneyland video of me on you. - Why? 87 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,074 KOURTNEY: They're just like, 88 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,618 "Who's taking the video? You guys are at Disneyland. 89 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,412 There's kids, there's kids." - We're like, "It's our tour guide." 90 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,082 KOURTNEY: Kissing and hugging is not a bad thing. 91 00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:52,918 I'm actually grateful that my kids 92 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:56,964 can see a loving, affectionate relationship 93 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,675 because they haven't seen that their whole lives. 94 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:03,095 - I just think people have trouble understanding 95 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:07,891 how two people can be so in love and affectionate 96 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,476 'cause they're [bleep] miserable. 97 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,478 - Yeah, totally. - That's why. 98 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,024 He was like-- - Yeah, he's like, "You guys are--" 99 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,360 TRAVIS: "These two are makin' out in the backyard." 100 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,779 ♪ Do you love me now ♪ 101 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:24,783 ♪ When it hurts so bad that it tears you down ♪ 102 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,203 ♪ Do you love me now ♪ 103 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,457 - Like, all these paparazzi were standing out of their cars taking pictures 104 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,002 and I was like, "How do they even know I was coming up the hill?" 105 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,130 - I think they're just waiting for you-- - But out of their cars? 106 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,924 It was so strange and made me so paranoid, 107 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,217 and no one knew I was coming home. 108 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,343 So, like-- - Yeah. 109 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,012 - I don't know who would've told on me. - They're just hope-- 110 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,598 They're just hoping, I think. - I was just like, "So annoying." 111 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,683 That was the strangest thing. 112 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,227 - Is Kyles home? - I don't know. 113 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,812 I just gotta pick something up. 114 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,898 ♪ 115 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,324 Oh, I love this and her chicken. 116 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,451 She brings me eggs every week. 117 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:10,996 MALIKA: She's so cute. KHLOÉ: She has chickens over here. 118 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,791 Oh, there's eggs! Look how cute. 119 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:19,004 - What came first? The chicken or the egg? - [sighs] Mind[bleep], isn't it? 120 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,507 I don't know. - I think it was the chicken. 121 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,383 - How did it get here? MALIKA: God. 122 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,802 God made humans and then humans produce eggs. 123 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,889 I think God made chickens and then chickens produce eggs. 124 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:29,973 - Sure. 125 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:33,185 - I have to believe something. I have to believe in something. - Yeah... I don't know. 126 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,895 Hey. 127 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,271 Me and Malika are in your backyard. 128 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,398 Where is what you wanted me to pick up? 129 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,318 'kay, bye. 130 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,279 She said her security will bring it to me in a sec. 131 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,698 Do you wanna just sit while they're-- - Sure. 132 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,742 KHLOÉ: I definitely didn't tell you this. 133 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,993 The other night-- 134 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:53,038 You just can't even, like, make this shit up. It's wild. 135 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:57,793 Me, Kim, Kourt, my mom, we're all, like, in Kim's closet, 136 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:03,215 and this guy somehow had access to Kim's sex tape. 137 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:06,844 There was other footage that was never released or something like that. 138 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,763 And so, Kim, of course, is stressing. You know, it sucks. 139 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,766 You don't wanna do SNL if you know this is coming. 140 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:16,103 Like, you have to-- It-It's just-- The whole thing is so [bleep]. 141 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,480 - No, but she's gotta block the noise. 100%. 142 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,107 And you've gotta make sure of that. 143 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,525 - She's gonna do great. 144 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,026 Kim doesn't sign on for things 145 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,612 if she, like, doubts herself. - Kim doesn't fail, babe. 146 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,240 - Yeah, she doesn't. - She just doesn't. 147 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:32,369 - Kourt is not going to SNL, so Scott's gonna come. 148 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:37,416 And before my mom and I fly to SNL, I have to do James Corden. 149 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:41,461 I just have such anxiety about going, like, just-- 150 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,464 It's never the interview. It's more the aftermath. 151 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,633 Like, now you have to listen to everybody say this, 152 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:50,095 or judge you, or overanalyze something you say, or pick this apart. 153 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:50,971 It's just, like-- 154 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,808 Social media used to be, you know, fun and silly. 155 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,895 There was definitely always trolls. 156 00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:00,981 And now, it's-- Everything is so critical. 157 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:04,985 The way I look, my situation with Tristan, 158 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,403 is my hair done the right way? 159 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:10,616 "What is she doing with that laugh?" That, this? "Oh my gosh, she said this." 160 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:15,495 I think I've gotten to the point that it's, literally, safer to stay at home. 161 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,122 This shit used to be fun. 162 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,209 You're totally, sort of, like, gaslighting yourself. 163 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:21,835 You're makin' up all these scenarios 164 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,505 that who even knows is happening. - No, it's kinda like a killjoy. 165 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,508 - With all those paparazzi today, swear I was having, like, a heart attack. 166 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,260 Literally, I thought I was having a heart attack today. 167 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,306 MALIKA: I mean, anxiety is real, 168 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:38,810 and the amount of criticism and scrutiny 169 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:42,189 that you have to deal with is also very real. 170 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,984 But I do like that you do deal 171 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,028 because you really could run away and disappear 172 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,030 and decide that you don't want this to be your life anymore 173 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,491 because someone doesn't have something nice to say to you, 174 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,369 but then you'd ruin everything you ever worked for. 175 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,245 - Yes. 176 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:02,376 Saying a mantra like, "[bleep] the haters," "Tune them out." 177 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,630 Yes, I think that is, obviously, everyone's goal, 178 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,549 but it's so much easier said than done. 179 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:12,177 I do wanna know if there's therapy for, like, overthinking. 180 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:15,055 - You might need to take a deep breath. 181 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,433 - I took a beta-blocker earlier, so I'm, sort of-- 182 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,727 - Oh, wait, your mom gave you that. - Yeah. 183 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,355 [laughing] 184 00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,817 ♪ 185 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,745 KIM: Absolutely. 186 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,749 [FaceTime ringing] 187 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:47,296 Are you gonna be excited that I'm doing Saturday Night Live? 188 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,630 NORTH [on phone]: Yeah. 189 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,507 - 'Cause you're my best hype woman. 190 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,971 [laughs] 191 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,182 - I won't do that on stage, I promise. 192 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,809 Have the best day today, guys. 193 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,936 - 'Kay, bye. - 'Kay, bye. 194 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,814 I'm in New York and I just have so much to do this week. 195 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,943 I don't think people really get how insane SNL is and what the schedule's like. 196 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,820 I mean, you come in on a Monday, 197 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,199 and you have, like, these meetings where they pitch things to you. 198 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,117 Tuesday is sketch pitches. 199 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,370 Wednesday's the table read, where you read, like, 40 sketches. 200 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,956 Thursday, filming of pre-tapes. 201 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,875 Friday, we start at 5 A.M. 202 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,877 Saturday is showtime. 203 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,086 It's a machine. 204 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,297 I really want this moment. 205 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,592 I don't wanna be thinking and stressing about something else. 206 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:36,094 Like, I have a lot on my mind. 207 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,138 Hello. KRIS [on phone]: Hi, honey. 208 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,141 - Did you find out what that blogger was gonna leak? 209 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,894 - No, you, you really can't worry about it. 210 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:48,190 You're doing SNL right now. That's what you need to focus on. 211 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:53,570 And I would put your energy there, and this too shall pass. 212 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,326 - All right, well, I'm gonna go finish getting ready. 213 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,204 I love you. - Okay. Today's gonna be a great day. 214 00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:06,959 You're gonna kick ass at SNL and I can't wait to see how the day goes. 215 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,878 - Oh my god, me too. I'll call you later and let you know. 216 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,255 - Okay, keep me posted. 217 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,882 - Okay, love you, bye. - Love you, too. 218 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,927 - I mean, my mom's obviously right. 219 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:20,597 Like, I can't stress about something that I have no control over anymore, 220 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,307 but it is easier said than done. 221 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,310 - Wait, so, what are you, um, what are you doing today, like-- 222 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,188 - I'm gonna meet Amy Schumer. - Okay. 223 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,692 - And we're just-- She's been, like, the most support. 224 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,027 She's, literally, the-- Just the funniest, 225 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,364 but just giving me advice and, like, Girl Pep Talk 226 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,701 because sometimes I'm like, "Why the [bleep] did I sign on to do this? 227 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:44,204 Like, I, I can't do this. Like, why did I do this?" 228 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,373 - So, what's the deal with Kanye? Is he coming? 229 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,833 - Yeah, he's here already. 230 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:51,628 He literally took a coach commercial flight. 231 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,921 - Stop. 232 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:57,009 - Sat, like, in the seat next to the bathroom. 233 00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,761 Kanye is in New York to support me, 234 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,389 but we also have, like, set some serious boundaries. 235 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,725 Like, Kanye and I are staying at separate hotels. 236 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,394 I've been really clear with him as far as, like, 237 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,605 where we stand in our relationship. 238 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:13,525 Just super-drama-free is the vibe for this week. 239 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:17,779 He said he didn't sleep all night long just so that he can get in town 240 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,158 early enough to meet up with Dave, 241 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:24,244 and, like, go over jokes and really, like, help, 242 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:28,290 and Dave introduced us to this comedian Michelle Wolf, 243 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,292 who is so funny. 244 00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,961 We've all been, like, on this thread about the monologue, 245 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,172 and what jokes are funny and what we should take out, 246 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:38,300 and we've all kinda, like, collaborated on it. 247 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,303 - I cannot believe that he's helping you the way that he is. 248 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,146 ♪ 249 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,319 - But how are you feeling? When did Tristan leave? 250 00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,695 - Sunday. - Aww. 251 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,406 - He's just in Sacramento playing the Clippers or something. 252 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,157 - Okay. 253 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,867 Just think about it. He just, like, doesn't have-- 254 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,495 His whole world is here in L.A. KHLOÉ: I know. 255 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,913 - So it's a tough thing. - So it's not good. 256 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,708 I am on my way to do the James Corden talk show. 257 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:15,045 Malika's coming for my emotional support 258 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:20,217 because I do get a lot of anxiety by doing talk shows these days. 259 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,427 MALIKA: What I remember about the last time you did this show 260 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,012 when I went with you... KHLOÉ: Yeah. 261 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,099 - ...you sat at the table, and he asked you some pretty insane questions 262 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,017 or you had to eat something nasty. - I'm not doing that. 263 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,727 - I was gonna say-- Oh, that's not happening this time? 264 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,396 - No. - Put an eyeball in your mouth. 265 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:34,439 - I just bit it and then, I literally spit it out. 266 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,066 It was the nastiest thing I've ever done. 267 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,317 JAMES CORDEN: You've got this. 268 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,902 - I think I might throw up. 269 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,405 - [stammers] Well, that would be wonderful for our ratings. 270 00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:43,240 [audience laughs] 271 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,491 No, you're not gonna do it. 272 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,703 [screams] [audience cheering] 273 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,247 Oh my god! [laughing] 274 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:58,255 - I feel obviously much better just, just talking it through, 275 00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,423 and, like, 276 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,508 it's so easy for people to say, 277 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,010 "You don't know them. Don't pay attention." 278 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,053 Or da-da-- Trust me, I try not to, 279 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,263 but when you're walking down the street 280 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,182 and then, even paparazzi's heckling at you 281 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,058 the same things that you're trying to avoid, 282 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,520 it's so deteriorating 283 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,649 on your self-esteem, your confidence, the way that you view yourself, 284 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,903 and even, like, anxiety to post photos on Instagram. 285 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,530 I'm just anxious, even when I'm like, I barely did retouching, 286 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:27,784 but I'm so afraid to post it 'cause people are gonna say I did this. 287 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,203 It's like, "Ah!" 288 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,414 - You ever think you'd just tell a couple people to [bleep] off 289 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:35,292 and it might actually make you feel better and people will back off of you? 290 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,836 - Why did Tristan say the exact same thing? 291 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,338 He was like, "What happened to you?" 292 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:43,091 Malika and Tristan have this ability that they're able to ground me, 293 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,178 and I feel like that's one of the reasons why I'm so drawn to the both of them. 294 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:48,472 He's like, "You used to tell people to [bleep] off." 295 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,974 - All of us got a "[bleep] off" at one point or another, 296 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,602 and they're strangers! Tell them all to [bleep] off. 297 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,687 - You're right. You're 100% right. 298 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,773 I think I need a therapist. 299 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:05,405 ♪ Hey, it's a good day for a good day, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 300 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:10,202 - 'Kay, so, after Saturday, I have about 20 d-- 17 days 301 00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,870 to take the Bar. 302 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,289 So, I'm gonna go-- I'll take Sunday off 303 00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:19,169 and just really, really, really go for it. 304 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,088 Ten 12-hour days. 305 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,798 As important as SNL is, 306 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:25,759 it's more important that I study for the Baby Bar 307 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,637 because I have one last chance to pass it 308 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,055 and then, I can't take it again. 309 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:37,104 - So much better. I need to get more confident at my essays, 310 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,730 but this is my last chance. 311 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,148 - You're gonna pass it. I'm not worried. 312 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:46,196 - Yeah... I'll be eliminated if I don't pass this time. 313 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,831 ♪ 314 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:01,378 Hello. AMY SCHUMER: Oh. Hi! 315 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,797 Oh my god. - Are you here? 316 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,884 This place. - Isn't this-- This is what buys-- 317 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,636 Hi. - It's amazing. 318 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,597 I miss you. How are you? - Thanks for coming over. I miss you. 319 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:14,474 I'm so good. I'm so excited for you. Come on, let's work. 320 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,353 KIM: Amy Schumer and I have been friends for a few years now. 321 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:23,650 Of course, she's, like, so funny that I want her to hear 322 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:27,112 what I have as my, like, final monologue and see what she thinks. 323 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:30,490 And I feel really good about it, and I'm honestly not nervous. 324 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,910 That's, like, the one thing that I'm not nervous about. 325 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,036 - I'm so excited about this. 326 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,914 You know, like, writing jokes is my favorite thing in the world. 327 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:39,291 - I know and that's what everyone says is you're just, like, the best. 328 00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:42,419 - I'm the joke person, but you're, like, the best at taking jokes. 329 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:45,589 - Yeah. - Like I-- Why are you so great at that? 330 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,675 Like, I did roasts, and it was too hurtful. 331 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,177 I, like, couldn't do it anymore. - Really? 332 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:53,680 - Yeah. Wait, let me get one... thing. 333 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,266 Okay, there we go. What a romantic moment. - Thank you. 334 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,393 - How are you feeling? - Do you wanna read it... 335 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,021 - Well, I wanna see the, the latest-latest, yeah. 336 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,316 - So, I feel like you should read the one on my phone. 337 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,234 - Okay, let's do it. 338 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:07,736 - I don't want too many Kanye jokes, but... one good one. 339 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,197 - No, I think, like, a really-- Like, one is great. 340 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,741 - Totally. So, there's, like, two or three in here, 341 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,993 so I think I'm gonna take this one out. - Let's pick the best. Okay. 342 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,370 - This one says-- - Is this Chappelle? 343 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,330 - Michelle Wolf. - Great. 344 00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:20,415 I love Michelle Wolf. She's hilarious. - Yeah, so there-- 345 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,835 - She's a murderer. - Yeah, yeah. [laughs] 346 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:25,963 Dave Chappelle suggested that I work with Michelle Wolf, 347 00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:28,257 who's, like, the funniest comedian, 348 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,884 and she's really helping me write my monologue. 349 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:34,555 "Hey, guys. It's so great to be here hosting Saturday Night Live. 350 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,266 I know, I'm surprised to see me here, too." - Mm-hm. 351 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,600 - "When they asked, I was like, 352 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,519 "You want me to host? Why? 353 00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:43,480 "I haven't had a movie premiere in a really long time. 354 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,066 "Actually, I've only had that one movie come out 355 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,235 "and no one even told me it was premiering. 356 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,987 It must've slipped my mom's mind." 357 00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:51,530 - Wait, what was the movie? 358 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,073 - My sex tape. 359 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,577 - Thank you. Thank you. Great. - Yeah. [laughs] 360 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,120 But the joke on the internet was-- - Yes. 361 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,998 that, like, my mom had to, she's my manager, she had to broker. 362 00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:02,708 And there's a lot of, like, 363 00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:05,627 kinda sex tape drama happening now, 364 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,881 where, like, people are saying that... - Oh. 365 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:11,925 - ...maybe, there's a little bit more from 20 years ago. 366 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,219 - Is there a part of you that's like, 367 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:17,556 "Let's get that out 'cause it, probably, is pretty hot?" 368 00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,893 If someone had a video of me, like, [bleep] 20 years ago, 369 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,436 I'd be like, "Can we please get that out?" 370 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,271 Because, I mean, if it were today, 371 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,148 you know, different, but, but okay, so what's-- 372 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,858 - So, I was really upset. - Yeah. 373 00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:29,776 - And then, I was like, 374 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,030 "[bleep] it, losers. Do it and I'll sue you or whatever." 375 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:37,367 And... I just can't, like-- I have to just take my power back on that. 376 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,369 - Yeah. - This was 20 years ago. 377 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,704 Come on. - Yeah, like, please. 378 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,832 - So, I think even, like, taking the air out of those people-- 379 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:46,084 Like, just starting off with that is kinda funny 380 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,921 without being super, like, sex tape. 381 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,715 - I think I just wouldn't do any sex tape stuff. 382 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:54,426 - Really? - Because this moment in time-- 383 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,096 Like, th-this piece of, like, art or whatever will live on, 384 00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:01,099 and people might not remember it. Like, it's not-- 385 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,477 - Not that relevant? - I don't even think you need to even give it any-- yeah. 386 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:07,272 - Um, "I know I have privilege, but I still struggle. 387 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:10,442 "Like most of the things that I wear, it's really hard to pee. 388 00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,568 "It's, like, a whole ordeal. 389 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,488 "Let's put it this way, if R. Kelly dressed like me. 390 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,614 - Oh my god. 391 00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,241 - ...he may have stayed out of trouble." 392 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,076 - Oh my god! 393 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:23,038 It's too long. It's a long way to go for, like-- Yeah. 394 00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:26,875 - Okay, um, "Oh, Khloé, you have the biggest heart. 395 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:31,046 It's so big, it has room for Tristan and all of his side pieces." 396 00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:32,464 - Oh shit. 397 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:35,133 - "And Kris. Kris, you're not one of my sisters. 398 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,302 That's not a joke. I just thought I'd remind you." 399 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,304 - No. - 'Kay. 400 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,807 The one thing I thought I had and was so confident in, 401 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:46,478 is my monologue, so I'm a little confused now. 402 00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:49,565 I really want-- - I am not obsessed with that. 403 00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:51,441 - Okay, okay. - Okay, but let's keep going, yeah. 404 00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:00,367 - So, I think I can take out, like, that whole middle chunk. - I think so, too. Yeah. 405 00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:03,787 - Add in what you were saying at the beginning. - Yeah. 406 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,331 - Okay, then it goes into this, which I think is funny. 407 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,708 "Something I'm really proud of 408 00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,210 "is that no one can ever call me a gold digger. 409 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,546 "Honestly, I'm not even sure how you become one. 410 00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:13,922 "But I asked Corey, 411 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:16,383 "and he said that a good place to start 412 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,011 is getting a job in my mom's security." 413 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:22,723 - That's funny. Calling Corey a gold digger is so funny. 414 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,100 But y-you gotta pause for that laugh. You know what I mean? 415 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:29,771 "So, I asked Corey," and then, give it a beat and let people laugh. 416 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,774 - I really want people to know that I'm more than just a pretty face, 417 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,527 and good hair, and a great makeup, 418 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,738 terrific boobs, and an amazing butt. 419 00:20:37,738 --> 00:20:41,033 - So, if you make it sound like the list is always about to end, but it goes on. 420 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,534 - Yeah... - I think, 421 00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:46,038 like, just choosing the funniest, strongest stuff. 422 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:49,333 - Yeah. Today was the first day I had a little bit of anxiety. 423 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,668 - And what is it, like, from? Like, what are you-- 424 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:54,880 - Just like, "Oh shit, this is happening." 425 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,797 - Right. - You know? 426 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,508 - Yeah, it's-- But it's-- 427 00:20:57,508 --> 00:20:58,926 - Yeah. - It's gonna be great. 428 00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:00,469 It's so cool that you're doing it. - Yeah. 429 00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:04,056 - Like, everyone I know is like, "That's so badass that she's doing it." 430 00:21:04,056 --> 00:21:06,975 To me, it's like, you're just someone who wants to, like, enjoy their life 431 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,769 and, like, have every experience. 432 00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:10,395 - Yeah, yeah. - And that's what it's about. 433 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,813 You know? - That really is what it's about. 434 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:13,732 - Yeah, you-- and you could even say that. You could be like, 435 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:14,858 "'Cause I don't know if you guys know this, 436 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:17,152 but I don't need the exposure from this show." 437 00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,487 Like, you know? - [laughs] Yeah. 438 00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,697 - Like, "I'm not hoping to get discovered tonight." 439 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:25,702 Uh, "If anything, you know, usually, I'm-- I have 250 million followers. 440 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:29,039 If anything, tonight, I just wanted some intimacy with some close friends." 441 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:30,457 - [laughs] Yes. 442 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,959 No, you've been so supportive. 443 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,419 Like, even when I'm like, "Why the [bleep] am I doing this?" 444 00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:36,296 And you're like, "'Cause you're a gangster. 445 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,465 And you're doing this." And I'm like, "Okay, I am. I got it." 446 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,759 - Yeah. 'Cause anything you're scared of is an opportunity. 447 00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:42,511 It's, like, so exciting. 448 00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:44,221 - Yeah. [laughs] - Yeah. 449 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,104 ♪ I call the shots, call the shots, watch me ♪ 450 00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:54,231 ♪ Lights, camera, VIP ♪ 451 00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:56,441 ♪ Photo, flash, what you see ♪ 452 00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,277 ♪ I'm a boss guaranteed ♪ 453 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,571 ♪ Keep your eyes on me ♪ 454 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:07,744 KRIS: Hey! - Hi, Mom. 455 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:10,706 - Where's the star of the show today? 456 00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:15,043 I heard this is the first show back with an audience. 457 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,128 - Oh, stop. 458 00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:18,130 - Oh yeah. There's a full audience out there. 459 00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:20,549 - Oh gosh. - Yeah, they're already chanting, 460 00:22:20,549 --> 00:22:24,928 "Khloé, Khloé, Khloé!" - Are you kidding or being serious? 461 00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,889 - No, there's a m-major audience. - No, not the chanting, 462 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,891 but the audience part. - Yeah, I'm serious. 463 00:22:28,891 --> 00:22:30,392 - Oh gosh. - So, when I heard that 464 00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:31,935 I didn't wanna just call you and tell you. 465 00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:33,520 I thought I'd come down and check on you, 466 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,273 and see if you were gonna be okay with your anxiety. 467 00:22:36,273 --> 00:22:38,984 KHLOÉ: Oh, lovely. KRIS: You're gonna do so great. 468 00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:39,693 - Thank you. 469 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:42,321 - Oh, I see we brought the champagne out already. 470 00:22:43,614 --> 00:22:45,490 Do you want one of my beta-blockers? 471 00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:47,951 - Oh, I love those. - I know. They're really great. 472 00:22:47,951 --> 00:22:50,787 I'm really lucky because I get to spend a lot 473 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,457 of one-on-one time with each one of my kids. 474 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:57,211 I know Khloé has a hard time with her anxiety from time to time, 475 00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,546 so I really wanted to be here today, 476 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:03,008 and just support her and make her feel loved and special. 477 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:07,012 - It's hard to sit in this thing. I didn't... plan for sitting. 478 00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:10,599 - Maybe I can wheel you out there on a little dolly? 479 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:13,894 - Yeah, okay, good. Perfect. KRIS: Oh, jeez. 480 00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,312 - You look so good. 481 00:23:15,312 --> 00:23:18,482 KRIS: I think any time that you're in the public eye, 482 00:23:18,482 --> 00:23:22,694 it just opens you up for scrutiny and criticism 483 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:24,655 about every little thing. 484 00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:27,741 And I think with Khloé, she does internalize that, 485 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:32,746 and I think that you really have to have tough, thick skin, which all of us have, 486 00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:36,291 but every once in a while, our emotions just get the best of us. 487 00:23:37,251 --> 00:23:38,335 [knocks on door] 488 00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:42,965 Uh-oh. Hi! Come in for a hug! JAMES: Am I all right to take this off? 489 00:23:42,965 --> 00:23:46,343 - I'm really your guest! - Oh, how are you? 490 00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:47,719 How nice to see you. - I missed you. 491 00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:48,595 - And you. 492 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,389 KRIS: Yeah, Khloé's gonna be great. 493 00:23:50,389 --> 00:23:52,266 She had a little-- She was a little nervous, 494 00:23:52,266 --> 00:23:54,268 but you're gonna make her feel like-- - You have nothing to be nervous about. 495 00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:56,812 - I always get anxious. Not about you. - Oh, you have nothing to be anxious. 496 00:23:56,812 --> 00:23:58,313 - You've got this. - No, it's always the aftermath 497 00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:00,983 of, like, the Twitter and all of that shit. 498 00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:02,609 - Oh, [bleep] that. KHLOÉ: I know. 499 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,112 - Why're you even looking at it? - I don't! 500 00:24:05,112 --> 00:24:08,240 It's the [bleep] paparazzi that's like-- 501 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,326 I always get-- It's just an anxiousness. - Oh [bleep] it, just everybody's-- 502 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:12,369 - I know. 503 00:24:12,369 --> 00:24:15,789 - But all you have to remember is none of these things are about you. 504 00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,165 Anybody that's like, "Ugh!" 505 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:20,169 it's only a representation and a reflection of them. 506 00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:21,837 - I know. - That's it, that's it. 507 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,672 - You're so right. - It's nothing to do with you. 508 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,257 KHLOÉ: You're right. - What somebody thinks of you 509 00:24:25,257 --> 00:24:27,759 is none of your business. - I'm just gonna start crying. 510 00:24:27,759 --> 00:24:30,804 - And how can anyone judge anyone when they don't know them? 511 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:35,350 - Yeah. - So, you, you become something else in their mind, 512 00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:37,936 and at various points, people just go, "Blah." 513 00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:39,188 But it doesn't matter. 514 00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:42,024 These words only exist if I give them any power. 515 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:45,986 They only exist to me if I allow them to penetrate my core. 516 00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:47,905 - Right. You're right. 517 00:24:47,905 --> 00:24:52,576 - Look, you're drinking champagne at 4 P.M. on a Monday and you're at work. 518 00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:54,203 KRIS: Yeah. - We've won. 519 00:24:54,203 --> 00:24:55,495 - We've [bleep] won. 520 00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:57,122 [laughs, cheers] 521 00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:58,707 - All right, I'll see you down there. - That was awesome. 522 00:24:58,707 --> 00:25:01,793 - That was a great motivational speech. - Now, let's go out and [bleep] it up! 523 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:04,922 - Let's go out and do an endorsement for Candy Crush! - Let's go [bleep] it up! Yeah! 524 00:25:04,922 --> 00:25:05,923 - Yeah! 525 00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:09,134 - This speech just makes me, 526 00:25:09,134 --> 00:25:11,512 it sounds so corny, but, like, warm and fuzzy. 527 00:25:11,512 --> 00:25:14,515 I feel understood because I know he's talking to me, 528 00:25:14,515 --> 00:25:16,850 but I know he's had this talk with himself. 529 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,852 - That was so sweet. - Oh my god, did somebody tape that? 530 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:23,815 Oh. [laughs] We need that on a loop. 531 00:25:24,483 --> 00:25:26,235 WOMAN: They're ready whenever you are. 532 00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:28,737 - Do they have the new script, do you know? 533 00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,155 - Let's do it. - All right, let's go. This way. 534 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:33,325 ♪ Don't Forget To Breathe by Vanacore Music playing ♪ 535 00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:36,036 ♪ ♪ 536 00:25:38,205 --> 00:25:41,625 ♪ ♪ 537 00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:43,210 [audience cheering, applauding] 538 00:25:44,169 --> 00:25:48,257 DIRECTOR: Khloé, you're on in three, two, one. 539 00:25:48,257 --> 00:25:50,467 JAMES: Khloé Kardashian is on the show! 540 00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,595 ♪ 541 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:02,354 [cheering] 542 00:26:04,815 --> 00:26:07,276 [all laughing] 543 00:26:09,194 --> 00:26:12,865 - I am really proud of myself for constantly putting myself out there. 544 00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:15,075 [audience applauding] 545 00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:20,247 And I will say that Malika is 100% right, 546 00:26:20,247 --> 00:26:22,457 and sometimes I do have to tell people just to [bleep] off. 547 00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:26,628 [cheers] - So, so fun! 548 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,756 - So, [bleep] off. 549 00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:33,385 - To you. - To you. To us. 550 00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:35,012 BOTH: To us. 551 00:26:36,138 --> 00:26:38,557 - That's another one in the can, guys. 552 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:41,393 ♪ 553 00:26:41,393 --> 00:26:44,605 ♪ I feel so free, you and me ♪ 554 00:26:45,689 --> 00:26:48,692 ♪ I don't care what people think ♪ 555 00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:52,863 ♪ I am so free ♪ 556 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:56,700 KRIS: Kourtney? KOURTNEY: I'm outside! 557 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:59,119 - Outside? Okay. 558 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,705 Hi. KOURTNEY: Hi, Mom. 559 00:27:01,705 --> 00:27:05,042 - Everything looks so pretty. - Oh my god, you haven't been here. 560 00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:07,628 - What's goin' on? Uh, where's Reign? 561 00:27:07,628 --> 00:27:10,088 - My kids aren't here today 'cause they're with Scott, 562 00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:12,925 but Penelope will be here any minute. 563 00:27:12,925 --> 00:27:16,178 - Okay. How are your doctors going? 564 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,722 - Awful. - What? 565 00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:21,558 - Travis and I want to have a baby, 566 00:27:21,558 --> 00:27:27,564 and so, my doctor took us down this road of doing IVF, 567 00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:32,986 and, like, it hasn't been the most amazing experience. 568 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:38,450 Every single person on social media and-- is always like, "Kourtney's pregnant. 569 00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:41,078 Kourtney's pregnant. Kourtney's gained so much weight." 570 00:27:41,078 --> 00:27:43,497 And I'm like, it's so rude to comment on people 571 00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:46,166 when you have no idea what they're actually going through. 572 00:27:46,583 --> 00:27:48,836 The medication that they've been giving me, 573 00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:53,382 they put me into menopause because-- - Menopause? 574 00:27:53,382 --> 00:27:59,012 - Literally into menopause, and so, I'm-- - Based off of what? A drug? 575 00:27:59,388 --> 00:28:00,472 - Yes. 576 00:28:00,472 --> 00:28:04,601 I think because I'm so clean and careful with what I put into my body, 577 00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:07,813 it's just, like, having the complete opposite reaction, 578 00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:12,776 and is working as a contraceptive instead of helping us. 579 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:16,321 The medication basically, like, put me into depression. 580 00:28:16,321 --> 00:28:17,573 - I feel like I-- 581 00:28:17,573 --> 00:28:20,033 - I've been-- - I've never seen you happier, 582 00:28:20,033 --> 00:28:22,452 so that would, you know, that would supri-- 583 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,288 The depression thing surprised me. 584 00:28:24,288 --> 00:28:27,082 - And I have everything in the world to be happy about. 585 00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,709 I just feel... 586 00:28:28,709 --> 00:28:31,253 - Yeah, physically. Yeah. - ...a little bit off and not like myself. 587 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:36,258 Super moody and hormonal. Like, I'm a lunatic half the time. 588 00:28:36,758 --> 00:28:38,802 And-- - Okay, well, I gotta go. 589 00:28:38,802 --> 00:28:41,346 - And that's it. - I think I have an appointment. 590 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,267 Even though Kourtney has three beautiful children, 591 00:28:45,267 --> 00:28:48,729 it doesn't make it hurt any less 592 00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:52,399 if you're trying to have a baby and you've been struggling. 593 00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:55,485 I'll tell you that I got pregnant 594 00:28:55,485 --> 00:28:58,697 in 1994... - Mm-hm. 595 00:28:58,697 --> 00:29:03,035 - ...and had a miscarriage, and my body entirely shut down. 596 00:29:03,035 --> 00:29:05,454 - Mm-hm. - It stopped making anything. 597 00:29:05,454 --> 00:29:10,417 I was moody and depressed, and, you know, my-- I was bloated, 598 00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:13,253 didn't feel well. Everything you just described... 599 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,422 - Yeah. - ...the exact same thing happened. 600 00:29:15,422 --> 00:29:20,928 - I think that we want it so badly because we want to make something together. 601 00:29:20,928 --> 00:29:24,431 - Yeah, of course. You wanna bring your own... 602 00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:27,518 - Like our-- - ...baby, your own love into the world 603 00:29:27,518 --> 00:29:31,021 in the way, you know, that you know exactly how-- 604 00:29:31,021 --> 00:29:34,775 you both know how it feels to have a child and how to bring a child into the world, 605 00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:37,903 and now, you wanna do it with the love of your life. 606 00:29:37,903 --> 00:29:39,905 You'll have a beautiful baby. 607 00:29:39,905 --> 00:29:42,950 Probably a year from now we'll be sitting right here 608 00:29:43,492 --> 00:29:45,994 and you'll be going... - God willing. 609 00:29:45,994 --> 00:29:48,872 - "Yeah, get the baby! It's crying!" 610 00:29:48,872 --> 00:29:52,751 - God willing. - That's right. You gotta claim that. 611 00:29:53,502 --> 00:29:54,378 - Yep. 612 00:29:57,506 --> 00:30:01,176 ♪ Welcome to the future ♪ 613 00:30:01,176 --> 00:30:04,513 ♪ Welcome to my future ♪ 614 00:30:04,847 --> 00:30:07,766 ♪ Step into the new world ♪ 615 00:30:08,559 --> 00:30:11,603 ♪ And welcome to my future ♪ 616 00:30:13,272 --> 00:30:15,941 KRIS: Isn't it beautiful? The table's beautiful. 617 00:30:15,941 --> 00:30:18,151 This would look good in your house. 618 00:30:18,151 --> 00:30:20,362 - Yeah, it would. [laughing] 619 00:30:20,362 --> 00:30:24,032 - This is one of my favorite places, I think, in the whole universe. 620 00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:26,743 Khloé and I are building homes next door to each other. 621 00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:29,997 They're still under construction, but they're getting close, 622 00:30:29,997 --> 00:30:34,209 so it's time to shop for rugs and we're here at this fabulous store. 623 00:30:34,209 --> 00:30:37,171 Oh my god, it's such a different vibe than my rugs. 624 00:30:37,171 --> 00:30:38,672 I love it. - Yeah, very different. 625 00:30:38,672 --> 00:30:41,091 KRIS: I'm a little jelly. - What are your, \what are your rugs? 626 00:30:41,091 --> 00:30:44,219 - My rugs look like me... Vintage. [laughing] 627 00:30:44,219 --> 00:30:45,929 KHLOÉ: Oh yeah, that's not my thing. KRIS: Not your vibe. 628 00:30:45,929 --> 00:30:48,932 - No, but I will love to visit. [laughs] 629 00:30:48,932 --> 00:30:50,267 You look amazing. 630 00:30:50,267 --> 00:30:53,562 - On every rug that you look at, you have to do the roll test. 631 00:30:53,562 --> 00:30:56,773 So, start at this end and roll that way. 632 00:30:56,773 --> 00:30:59,234 So, do the roll test. - Are you being serious? 633 00:30:59,234 --> 00:31:01,320 - Yeah, you have to do-- - No, I'm wearing-- 634 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,323 - You'll ruin your bun. - My bun is, you know, 635 00:31:04,323 --> 00:31:05,908 hairsprayed to the gods. 636 00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:10,329 My mom, she will get down and dirty, and she will do a carpet roll test. 637 00:31:10,329 --> 00:31:13,624 She'll get down on her knees and I'm sure do a handful of things, 638 00:31:13,624 --> 00:31:16,210 but, you know, the roll test is definitely one of them. 639 00:31:16,210 --> 00:31:19,046 - You just have to lay here and just say, 640 00:31:19,046 --> 00:31:22,758 "If I was laying on this carpet, how would I feel?" 641 00:31:22,758 --> 00:31:25,344 Look at the ceiling... [people laughing] 642 00:31:25,344 --> 00:31:27,346 lay down and meditate. 643 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,307 KHLOÉ: Don't give me more anxiety. 644 00:31:34,353 --> 00:31:36,772 KRIS: How great was James Corden the other night? 645 00:31:36,772 --> 00:31:39,650 - It was good. I mean, it's always good doing those shows. 646 00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:42,194 It's just normally the aftermath that, like, stresses me out. 647 00:31:42,194 --> 00:31:43,820 - Did you see the tweets? 648 00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:46,532 - No, I don't check the tweets. 649 00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:48,158 - You don't check the tweets ever? 650 00:31:49,034 --> 00:31:50,118 I have to read you a tweet... 651 00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:51,954 - Oh no. - ...'cause it's really funny. 652 00:31:51,954 --> 00:31:54,498 "Currently watching The Late Late Show. 653 00:31:54,498 --> 00:31:57,709 Excited to see Khloé Kardashian and get high." 654 00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:59,336 [both laughing] 655 00:31:59,336 --> 00:32:01,964 People are getting high to you. - Well, that's nice. 656 00:32:01,964 --> 00:32:04,675 - I mean, everyone just tweeting and tweeting and tweeting. 657 00:32:04,675 --> 00:32:07,427 - It was fun. I mean, he has-- 'Cause we-- Talk shows-- 658 00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:10,848 Have-- You haven't been allowed to be a guest, for a while. 659 00:32:10,848 --> 00:32:12,641 - We were doing Zooms for a year. - Yeah. 660 00:32:12,641 --> 00:32:16,270 - For him to choose you to be the first one back for a live audience... 661 00:32:16,270 --> 00:32:17,938 - That's nice. - ...is really special. 662 00:32:17,938 --> 00:32:20,482 - Still get anxiety. It's not the host. 663 00:32:20,482 --> 00:32:23,777 It's just normally the aftermath and just hearing everyone's opinions. 664 00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:25,529 And it-- I don't like that. Like-- 665 00:32:25,529 --> 00:32:28,699 - Well, you just have to learn when to tur-- tune out the noise. 666 00:32:28,699 --> 00:32:30,826 - Even, like, walking around here and all the paparazzi, 667 00:32:30,826 --> 00:32:33,579 I'm still thinking, "God, and now, they're gonna--" 668 00:32:33,579 --> 00:32:36,498 I don't know. You just, like-- If it's one wrong photo. 669 00:32:36,498 --> 00:32:38,792 One thing-- I'm sitting somewhere and they get so-- 670 00:32:38,792 --> 00:32:40,669 It's like-- Then they're like, "Ooh! 671 00:32:40,669 --> 00:32:43,630 Look at her!" It's, like, who said I had to be perfect? 672 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:45,299 Who said anything? Shut up. 673 00:32:45,299 --> 00:32:46,925 - You are perfect to me. 674 00:32:46,925 --> 00:32:48,969 - Thank you, but I don't care about that. - But I'm your mommy. 675 00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:50,721 - I don't even wanna be perfect. - Listen... 676 00:32:50,721 --> 00:32:52,723 - I like not being perfect. - ...do you remember in the beginning, 677 00:32:52,723 --> 00:32:54,057 years and years and years ago, 678 00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,602 we started filming Keeping up with the Kardashians, right? 679 00:32:56,602 --> 00:33:00,564 Just all the wonderful things people said, and how-- what an inspiration we were, 680 00:33:00,564 --> 00:33:02,566 and how they looked up to you girls. 681 00:33:02,566 --> 00:33:06,361 And one person would write and go, 682 00:33:06,361 --> 00:33:08,030 "Listen, you look fat today, bitch." 683 00:33:08,030 --> 00:33:12,034 And that one person would ruin your whole day. 684 00:33:12,034 --> 00:33:14,786 - That's how it goes. - And you had 5,000 people tell you 685 00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:17,372 how fantastic they-- you know, that you are, 686 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:19,082 or they, they felt great about you. 687 00:33:19,082 --> 00:33:22,377 All you can do is get up every single day and do the best you can, 688 00:33:22,377 --> 00:33:26,715 love really hard, take care of your kids and your family, you know? 689 00:33:26,715 --> 00:33:27,341 - Amen. 690 00:33:27,341 --> 00:33:29,718 - And I'm excited for you to start a new chapter 691 00:33:29,718 --> 00:33:31,220 in a new neighborhood, 692 00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:35,682 in a beautiful brand-new house that you designed yourself. 693 00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:37,684 - It's gonna be healthy for me. 694 00:33:38,310 --> 00:33:39,937 I think. - I think so, too. [chuckles] 695 00:33:39,937 --> 00:33:41,396 - I'm so excited, 696 00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:43,273 and-- - We're gonna have chickens. 697 00:33:43,273 --> 00:33:44,358 We're gonna have-- - What? 698 00:33:44,358 --> 00:33:46,944 We didn't build the chicken coop. - Oh, we didn't? 699 00:33:46,944 --> 00:33:49,029 - No, they smell, we decided at the end of the day. 700 00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:52,074 - Oh, okay. We're gonna have the time of our lives. 701 00:33:52,074 --> 00:33:53,242 - I'm excited. - I know. 702 00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:02,835 ♪ Get On My Level by Vanacore Music playing ♪ 703 00:34:02,835 --> 00:34:04,044 ♪ You already know ♪ 704 00:34:07,381 --> 00:34:09,424 ♪ Hot girl, hot dressed like a subway ♪ 705 00:34:12,803 --> 00:34:17,140 - We are doing our first days of our promo photoshoots at Saturday Night Live. 706 00:34:17,140 --> 00:34:18,934 - Is she dressed? Can we go in there? - She is dressed. 707 00:34:18,934 --> 00:34:21,144 Let me just ch-- Let me-- We'll check. - Okay, yeah. Okay. 708 00:34:22,062 --> 00:34:23,188 ♪ Let's go ♪ 709 00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,816 ♪ I've been breakin' the rules ♪ 710 00:34:25,816 --> 00:34:29,820 ♪ So tell me what you wanna do ♪ 711 00:34:30,654 --> 00:34:33,574 ♪ Jump on in and let's cruise ♪ 712 00:34:33,574 --> 00:34:36,618 ♪ I know you want to ♪ 713 00:34:36,618 --> 00:34:39,955 - It's pretty crazy. I had my first table read yesterday 714 00:34:39,955 --> 00:34:41,915 and we read, like, 40 or 50 scripts. 715 00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:43,834 I've never done a table read before. 716 00:34:43,834 --> 00:34:46,962 Everyone just started picking it up and reading them so fast, 717 00:34:46,962 --> 00:34:50,257 and people were having accents and different, you know, energy, 718 00:34:50,257 --> 00:34:53,719 and I had-- but I'm in every single skit of what they presented. 719 00:34:54,261 --> 00:34:56,471 [phone ringing] Hello? 720 00:35:07,441 --> 00:35:10,068 - Yeah, and I-- we already invited him. I feel bad. 721 00:35:10,527 --> 00:35:12,905 - I would totally disinvite for you. 722 00:35:17,201 --> 00:35:20,621 - There's one pre-taped skit that they wanted you and Khloé in, 723 00:35:20,621 --> 00:35:22,497 but I think that it could be Mom and Khloé, 724 00:35:22,497 --> 00:35:23,582 and they're gonna make it in time. 725 00:35:23,582 --> 00:35:26,001 They're gonna leave... like a few hours earlier 726 00:35:26,001 --> 00:35:27,836 just to get here in time and do that. 727 00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:29,838 And it's honestly-- I think it's funnier when it's, 728 00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:32,174 like, the cast playing us. 729 00:35:47,314 --> 00:35:48,857 - Yeah, no, I totally get that. 730 00:35:55,322 --> 00:35:57,741 - All right, well, I love you and I'll call you later. 731 00:35:58,450 --> 00:35:59,535 - Okay, bye. 732 00:36:02,204 --> 00:36:04,915 - How did your lunch with Amy go yesterday? 733 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:06,625 KIM: It wasn't a lunch, but it was so good. 734 00:36:06,625 --> 00:36:09,002 She's just so supportive, you know? 735 00:36:09,002 --> 00:36:11,672 - What was her feedback on the monologue? - She's just so funny. 736 00:36:11,672 --> 00:36:13,882 Like, even when I hear her talk, 737 00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,677 it's just, like-- It makes me wanna laugh. 738 00:36:16,677 --> 00:36:18,929 Just hearing her voice and her tone. - Yeah. 739 00:36:18,929 --> 00:36:21,056 And then, what about the sex tape? Are you gonna address it? 740 00:36:22,641 --> 00:36:24,726 - I mean, I think I wanna say something. 741 00:36:24,726 --> 00:36:28,230 I think I've been in this game long enough to know 742 00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:30,190 that, like, you just have to be yourself. 743 00:36:30,190 --> 00:36:33,861 So, I wanna say things that feel good coming out of my mouth, 744 00:36:33,861 --> 00:36:36,864 and that, like, are things I would, actually, say. 745 00:36:36,864 --> 00:36:40,742 And so, I'm gonna s-- just go with my gut and stick with it, 746 00:36:40,742 --> 00:36:43,954 and do exactly what I had planned on doing. 747 00:36:45,581 --> 00:36:48,333 TRACY: Are you feeling anxious? - I feel a little bit anxious right now. 748 00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:50,252 I've been to SNL before, 749 00:36:50,252 --> 00:36:53,755 but only, obviously, with Kanye as, like, a musical guest. 750 00:36:53,755 --> 00:36:56,383 I've never seen what it's like to be a host. 751 00:36:56,383 --> 00:37:00,262 I have to work a twenty-three- and-a-half-hour day tomorrow. 752 00:37:00,262 --> 00:37:02,931 I've never done that in my life, you guys. I've never pulled an all-nighter. 753 00:37:02,931 --> 00:37:05,601 No one gives you a second to breathe. There's no lunch break. 754 00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:08,187 Like, you just have to take a bite of pizza. 755 00:37:08,187 --> 00:37:10,439 Eat along the way. Like, there's no breaks. 756 00:37:10,439 --> 00:37:12,941 There's no nothing Like, there's no time. 757 00:37:12,941 --> 00:37:16,236 I've never experienced anything like this before. 758 00:37:17,487 --> 00:37:19,448 DIRECTOR: Three, two. 759 00:37:20,574 --> 00:37:22,075 - Hi, I'm Kim Kardashian West, 760 00:37:22,075 --> 00:37:25,579 and I'm hosting SNL this week with musical guest Halsey. 761 00:37:25,579 --> 00:37:27,956 - So, Kim, are you nervous about doing sketch comedy? 762 00:37:27,956 --> 00:37:30,417 - Why, I don't have to write sketches, do I? - No. 763 00:37:30,417 --> 00:37:31,543 - Memorize lines? - No. 764 00:37:31,543 --> 00:37:32,628 - They're on cue cards. 765 00:37:32,628 --> 00:37:34,254 - Everyone else won't look as good as me, will they? 766 00:37:34,254 --> 00:37:35,506 - No, absolutely not. 767 00:37:35,506 --> 00:37:37,966 - I just wanna make sure that I focus enough 768 00:37:37,966 --> 00:37:40,093 to do a really good job on SNL. 769 00:37:40,093 --> 00:37:42,137 - Isn't this like a pinch yourself moment, though? 770 00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:43,764 Just remembering how far you've come. 771 00:37:43,764 --> 00:37:45,307 I mean, there was a moment where you, literally, 772 00:37:45,307 --> 00:37:47,142 could not even get a fashion show invite. 773 00:37:47,142 --> 00:37:49,937 - It's either flip-flops or Uggs with a Juicy sweatsuit, 774 00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,438 or a dress and heels. 775 00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:53,023 - And 'member when your dream was like, 776 00:37:53,023 --> 00:37:56,026 "I wanna be on the cover of Cosmo," and your publicist was like, 777 00:37:56,026 --> 00:37:58,028 "Dream realistically." - Yeah. 778 00:37:58,612 --> 00:38:00,197 - And now you're hosting Saturday Night Live. 779 00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,866 - Yeah, no. That's, like, so crazy. 780 00:38:02,866 --> 00:38:05,702 - During the part when I looked on the screen and you were like, 781 00:38:05,702 --> 00:38:07,955 "I'm Kim Kardashian West and I'm hosting Saturday Night Live," 782 00:38:07,955 --> 00:38:09,540 [cries] I, literally, just started bawling 783 00:38:09,540 --> 00:38:12,417 'cause I remember, like, 12 or 13 years ago, 784 00:38:12,417 --> 00:38:14,795 when you were going on, like, your first talk show, like as a guest, 785 00:38:14,795 --> 00:38:16,129 and you, you were so excited, 786 00:38:16,129 --> 00:38:18,340 and I got that vision, and it's like, "Oh my god." 787 00:38:19,633 --> 00:38:20,634 I was so proud of you. 788 00:38:20,634 --> 00:38:23,846 - Don't make me cry before I go on camera. 789 00:38:24,638 --> 00:38:27,516 - Okay, I'm crying. TRACY: Oh my gosh. It's so true, though. 790 00:38:27,516 --> 00:38:30,352 MARIO: It's so true. Like, I literally got that vision. 791 00:38:31,353 --> 00:38:33,981 Like, Saturday Night Live. I'm just like, "Whoa." 792 00:38:34,982 --> 00:38:35,983 KIM: I love you. 793 00:38:36,817 --> 00:38:39,570 Seeing Mario be really emotional 794 00:38:39,570 --> 00:38:43,907 just reminds me of when his agency told him not to work with me 795 00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:45,826 'cause I was "just a reality star," 796 00:38:45,826 --> 00:38:47,619 and that, like, I wasn't going anywhere, 797 00:38:47,619 --> 00:38:50,747 and he was never gonna have a career if he was my makeup artist, 798 00:38:50,747 --> 00:38:53,667 and he told them, basically, to, like, go [bleep] themselves. 799 00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:56,170 I get what he's saying, and I feel it. 800 00:38:56,170 --> 00:38:58,046 I just, like, can't really cry 'cause I have makeup on. 801 00:38:58,046 --> 00:39:01,300 So, I'm just not gonna go there, but I feel it. 802 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:02,676 [laughs] 803 00:39:03,302 --> 00:39:05,137 It's really, really crazy. 804 00:39:05,137 --> 00:39:06,930 Don't make me cry. - I know. 805 00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:08,432 - I'm like, "I can't." 806 00:39:13,103 --> 00:39:15,564 ♪ 807 00:39:20,068 --> 00:39:20,944 - I am. 808 00:39:21,528 --> 00:39:24,239 - I'm studying a little bit, and I have to read my monologue, 809 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,326 so I'm just tryna do flashcards, read my monologue. 810 00:39:27,326 --> 00:39:32,915 Today, we had to be here at 5:30 A.M. and I can't leave until 3:00 A.M., 811 00:39:32,915 --> 00:39:36,502 so it's, literally, almost a 24-hour day. 812 00:39:36,502 --> 00:39:40,088 I was so tired this morning doing one of the scenes, 813 00:39:40,088 --> 00:39:41,256 and it was a pre-tape. 814 00:39:41,256 --> 00:39:44,218 "All right, fine. You can divorce me, but I need a lawyer. 815 00:39:44,218 --> 00:39:46,136 Will you be my lawyer, fam?" 816 00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:47,721 "No, Kanye." "Fine. 817 00:39:47,721 --> 00:39:49,848 Then you're not getting a penny, sorry." 818 00:39:49,848 --> 00:39:51,642 "I have the prenup right here." 819 00:39:51,642 --> 00:39:54,603 I'm always afraid of hurting people's feelings, 820 00:39:54,603 --> 00:39:56,772 and I would never go in there 821 00:39:56,772 --> 00:40:00,484 making fun of, especially, like, the father of my kids. 822 00:40:00,484 --> 00:40:03,153 And it doesn't mean that because we didn't work out 823 00:40:03,153 --> 00:40:06,949 that we don't have, like, a great love and respect for each other. 824 00:40:06,949 --> 00:40:09,618 The divorce is so sensitive for him, 825 00:40:09,618 --> 00:40:12,538 and so, I'm already saying that part in the monologue. 826 00:40:12,538 --> 00:40:14,748 I don't wanna, like, make-- 827 00:40:15,290 --> 00:40:17,167 I just-- Like, like, maybe I could talk to Chris 828 00:40:17,167 --> 00:40:18,669 and we could think of something, like, funny, 829 00:40:18,669 --> 00:40:19,670 and I could just tell him, like, 830 00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,797 "Hey, this is super sensitive to him." 831 00:40:21,797 --> 00:40:24,007 I know he'd wanna be a part of it. 832 00:40:24,007 --> 00:40:26,385 I'm just saying... 'cause he'd love it, 833 00:40:26,385 --> 00:40:27,803 but I just don't wanna like-- - Yeah, it shouldn't be dis-- 834 00:40:27,803 --> 00:40:29,680 It shouldn't, It shouldn't be disrespectful to him. 835 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:30,931 LINDSAY: So, so how 'bout this? 836 00:40:30,931 --> 00:40:33,308 Let's put it on its feet, see what it feels like, 837 00:40:33,308 --> 00:40:36,019 and just know that we-- This is not unusual for us 838 00:40:36,019 --> 00:40:38,689 to make line changes, lift things out. 839 00:40:38,689 --> 00:40:41,525 Um, so let's-- Let me get the writers and we'll work on that one. 840 00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:44,528 ♪ Move by Vanacore Music playing ♪ 841 00:40:44,778 --> 00:40:46,196 ♪ Ooh-la-la-la ♪ 842 00:40:46,196 --> 00:40:49,366 ♪ Catch me outside, I'm on my grind ♪ 843 00:40:50,450 --> 00:40:52,411 ♪ Whoa, on my way ♪ 844 00:40:52,411 --> 00:40:55,038 ♪ 845 00:40:56,456 --> 00:40:59,459 KRIS: We are so excited to be in New York City. 846 00:40:59,459 --> 00:41:02,045 We just are so happy to be here to support Kim. 847 00:41:02,045 --> 00:41:04,256 You know what? I just wanna talk to you for two seconds-- 848 00:41:04,256 --> 00:41:05,674 - Okay, I'm just saying hi to my daughter. 849 00:41:05,674 --> 00:41:08,093 - No, I'm just, I'm just on a deadline here. 850 00:41:08,093 --> 00:41:10,512 I just have two sec-- Can we call her right back? 851 00:41:11,096 --> 00:41:14,516 - Oh, I, I love you, baby. Gimme a kiss and I'm gonna go. 852 00:41:14,516 --> 00:41:19,438 - Sir, can I ask you to leave us alone for five minutes? 853 00:41:19,438 --> 00:41:22,441 I just wanna do something real quick. Thank you. 854 00:41:22,441 --> 00:41:25,235 - When my mom wants the driver out of the car 855 00:41:25,235 --> 00:41:27,070 and to have a private conversation, 856 00:41:27,070 --> 00:41:29,323 there's normally only a handful of things 857 00:41:29,323 --> 00:41:31,241 that play through my head. 858 00:41:31,241 --> 00:41:32,868 Did somebody [bleep] up? 859 00:41:32,868 --> 00:41:35,621 Somebody's pregnant, there's a crisis. 860 00:41:35,621 --> 00:41:36,872 Bye, baby. 861 00:41:36,872 --> 00:41:38,290 KRIS: 'Kay, here we go. 862 00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:41,710 Is his window rolled up? - Yes, but the trunk is open. 863 00:41:41,710 --> 00:41:43,253 - Close the trunk! 864 00:41:43,253 --> 00:41:47,883 - So... you're yelling at a [bleep] guy-- - Close the trunk! 865 00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:53,055 - Excuse me, sir, would you mind closing the trunk for a moment? 866 00:41:53,055 --> 00:41:54,473 Thank you so much. 867 00:41:55,724 --> 00:41:57,935 It's not what you say, it's how you say it. 868 00:42:00,062 --> 00:42:00,938 - Hi. 869 00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:04,024 TRAVIS [on phone]: Hi. BOTH: Hi. 870 00:42:04,024 --> 00:42:06,902 - So, I think we secured the date you wanted. 871 00:42:06,902 --> 00:42:08,654 TRAVIS: Really? - Yeah, and I thought, maybe, 872 00:42:08,654 --> 00:42:10,864 you could tell Khloé why you-- 873 00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:13,867 maybe, want us to all be available next weekend. 874 00:42:13,867 --> 00:42:16,662 - Don't even do this to me. My heart is racing. 875 00:42:16,662 --> 00:42:22,292 TRAVIS: So, yeah, the 17th is the first day we ever hung out. 876 00:42:22,292 --> 00:42:27,798 Like I told your mom, I've been, like, madly in love with Kourtney forever, 877 00:42:27,798 --> 00:42:30,217 and I believe she's my soulmate. 878 00:42:31,051 --> 00:42:33,929 And I would like to propose-- - Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. 879 00:42:33,929 --> 00:42:38,934 to her on the day that I met her, or the day that I first was with her. 880 00:42:39,643 --> 00:42:43,689 - Oh my god, I'm literally crying. KRIS: I'm crying all over again. 881 00:42:43,689 --> 00:42:46,775 Oh my god. - Oh my god, I'm so happy for you guys. 882 00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:50,320 - So, he called me last night and he said, "I'd really like to--" 883 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:51,989 KHLOÉ: Oh my god. I'm so happy. 884 00:42:52,656 --> 00:42:56,493 Ugh, just 'cause Kourt is gonna be so happy. 885 00:42:57,119 --> 00:42:59,913 I do not cry, and I'm crying 'cause I'm happy, 886 00:42:59,913 --> 00:43:02,165 and that's, like, really [bleep] weird for me. 887 00:43:02,165 --> 00:43:03,792 [laughing] 888 00:43:03,792 --> 00:43:06,170 I don't really experience happy crying. 889 00:43:06,170 --> 00:43:08,797 I don't know. When I got engaged, I don't think I cried. 890 00:43:08,797 --> 00:43:09,798 [laughs] 891 00:43:09,798 --> 00:43:13,719 Oh my god, I can't handle this. - He's, he's coming next weekend 892 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,179 to do Saturday Night Live, 893 00:43:15,179 --> 00:43:17,723 and he bought her a ring from Lorraine Schwartz... 894 00:43:17,723 --> 00:43:19,766 - Oh my god! - ...and the ring is ready. 895 00:43:19,766 --> 00:43:21,894 And they're gonna fly home Sunday morning... 896 00:43:21,894 --> 00:43:24,563 - I'm having a panic attack, like-- - ...and thought we could all 897 00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:26,815 be there to share. - Oh my god. 898 00:43:26,815 --> 00:43:29,943 TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm trying to, like-- Yeah, I think Santa Barbara's so good 899 00:43:29,943 --> 00:43:32,821 ' cause we go often and she wouldn't suspect-- 900 00:43:32,821 --> 00:43:35,782 like, and if you guys were all there, that's the surprise. 901 00:43:35,782 --> 00:43:37,743 So, we, literally, land the 17th. 902 00:43:37,743 --> 00:43:40,871 - We're so happy, we're so happy. KHLOÉ: Oh my god. I'm so happy, 903 00:43:40,871 --> 00:43:44,374 and I'm so happy to have you be a part of our family and everything, 904 00:43:44,374 --> 00:43:47,461 and we love you, and oh my god. 905 00:43:47,461 --> 00:43:50,589 - Thank you. I lo-- I love your guys' family, and I love Kourt, 906 00:43:50,589 --> 00:43:55,594 and... I've never felt better, more sure about anything in my life, so. 907 00:43:55,594 --> 00:43:59,806 - To have this secret between me and Khloé now, and Travis, 908 00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:03,393 is really special for us because we're so excited. 909 00:44:03,393 --> 00:44:08,440 One of the biggest things in her life... is about to happen, 910 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,734 and Kourtney has no idea. 911 00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:14,363 Woo! Bye, Trav. TRAVIS: Bye. 912 00:44:16,073 --> 00:44:20,118 - I am not even so-- You know I don't-- - Isn't that the most amazing news-- 913 00:44:20,118 --> 00:44:23,413 - Oh my god. I'm just so happy 'cause she's never wanted 914 00:44:23,413 --> 00:44:28,252 to get married or anything like that, and I know she does now with him. 915 00:44:28,252 --> 00:44:30,379 I know, I know. It's really exciting. - And oh my god, I'm just gonna-- 916 00:44:30,379 --> 00:44:31,672 I'm gonna have a heart attack. 917 00:44:31,672 --> 00:44:33,841 - Okay, we can go. - I'm so excited. 918 00:44:34,633 --> 00:44:37,261 Amazing. KRIS: I know, isn't it crazy? 919 00:44:38,303 --> 00:44:40,889 - Next on The Kardashians... 920 00:44:40,889 --> 00:44:46,103 - Today is the day that I am hosting Saturday Night Live. 921 00:44:46,103 --> 00:44:48,981 [cheering, applauding] 922 00:44:48,981 --> 00:44:50,983 All right, it's happening. 923 00:44:52,526 --> 00:44:55,320 [audience cheering, applauding] 924 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:59,992 - Travis came to see me and he asked for her hand in marriage. 925 00:44:59,992 --> 00:45:02,369 - Is Scott gonna lose his shit? 926 00:45:02,369 --> 00:45:05,622 - I'm just worried that they're gonna see you guys on the freeway. 927 00:45:05,622 --> 00:45:08,667 - My mom would be so pissed if Kylie and I were the ones to ruin the surprise. 928 00:45:08,667 --> 00:45:12,212 - You guys get off on the same exit and it's a red light, you're screwed. 929 00:45:12,212 --> 00:45:13,839 You'll be at the same exit. 930 00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,090 - Ooh shit. - Oh shit. 931 00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:16,049 - Oh shit. 932 00:45:16,049 --> 00:45:17,050 ALL: Oh shit. 933 00:45:19,052 --> 00:45:22,055 ♪ Move by Vanacore Music playing ♪ 934 00:45:22,848 --> 00:45:24,850 ♪ She's so fly, oh ♪ 935 00:45:28,979 --> 00:45:30,981 ♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪ 936 00:45:30,981 --> 00:45:34,735 ♪ I know what you want, I got what you want ♪ 937 00:45:34,735 --> 00:45:38,113 ♪ I know what you want, I got what you want ♪ 938 00:45:38,113 --> 00:45:40,782 ♪ Everybody move, get out my way ♪ 939 00:45:40,782 --> 00:45:43,410 ♪ I don't got the time today ♪ 940 00:45:46,788 --> 00:45:51,001 ♪ 941 00:45:54,755 --> 00:46:00,719 ♪ Move, everybody move, I said move ♪ 942 00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,097 ♪ Everybody move out my way, move ♪