1 00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,129 - Good. You're awake. 2 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,589 Just in time to meet our guest of honor, 3 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:08,924 Your kidney. 4 00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:10,509 - I've heard about you. 5 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,052 You're the-- [groans] 6 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,346 - The kidney-pper. [thunder rumbles] 7 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:17,266 Kidney is such an interesting organ, isn't it? 8 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,852 We've got two, yet we only need one. 9 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,720 Kind of like the d'amelio sisters. 10 00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,399 If you ask me, dixie can get d'ameli-outta here. 11 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:26,942 [laughs] 12 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:29,611 - Wait, are you trying stand-up on me? 13 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,071 - [scoffs] no. 14 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:34,033 Did you know the average kidney is the size of a cellphone? 15 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:38,078 Hello? Uh, he says "urine" trouble. 16 00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:40,372 - Okay, this is definitely stand-up. 17 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:43,959 - It's not stand-up. If anything, it's alt-comedy. 18 00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:46,587 But no matter, because I'm getting the light 19 00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,630 Leaving your eyes. 20 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,174 - That's creepy. 21 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,301 - Oh, good. That's what I'm going for. 22 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,343 Blending these tones 23 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,845 Is a hard needle to thread, you know. 24 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,764 Ah, geez. 25 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,223 Whoa! 26 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,684 - [laughing] you're killing me. 27 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,978 And I mean that both ways. 28 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:06,815 - Who's the comedian here? 29 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:09,860 [adventurous music] 30 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:17,117 ♪ 31 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,586 [glass shatters] 32 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,300 - They say no guts, no glory. 33 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,094 Therefore, the converse must be true. 34 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,470 More guts, more glory. 35 00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:38,972 And guts are the kidney-pper's bread and butter. 36 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,809 [dramatic music] 37 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,060 Who the hell are you? 38 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:46,230 - I am the kid-napper. 39 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,065 - So then where are the kidneys? 40 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,067 - Oh. That's the kidney-pper. 41 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,861 I'm the kid-napper. I abduct baby goats. 42 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,322 You know, kids. Kid-napper. 43 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,908 - Kang and martinez took the kidney-pper case. 44 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,952 - So I'm on the lame case? 45 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,037 No, sorry, I get the big, splashy cases, 46 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,081 The ones on the front page. 47 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,374 I'd be lucky to make the odds and ends section 48 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,459 With this case, and that's assuming no one 49 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,128 Grew a pumpkin that looked like one of the wahlbergs. 50 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:10,796 - I kind of like this case. 51 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,674 - Kidney-pper spotted on 3rd and nathan lane, closing in. 52 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,925 - That's nearby. 53 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,385 [handcuffs click] wait here. 54 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,220 We have a front page to ca-- I mean, a killer to catch. 55 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,556 - What? We can't just leave her here. 56 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:21,849 What about protocol? 57 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,975 - Protocol-- 58 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,727 And I am not saying this lightly-- 59 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,105 Schmotocol. 60 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,314 - Uh, this one I'm gonna need 61 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,358 To take in for, you know, evidence. 62 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,695 I'm gonna name you probable cause. 63 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,573 ♪ 64 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:38,824 - Drop it kidney-pper. 65 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,033 - [laughing] - [vocalizing] 66 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,036 I don't want those cheap laughs. 67 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:45,122 Whoa, whoa! [groans] 68 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,957 - Drop the kidney. - Please. 69 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,959 [goat bleats] - I have been the kidney-pper. 70 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,295 Tip your waitresses. 71 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,673 - [grunts] 72 00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,133 Agh! 73 00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,387 He got away because of you! - Easy, martinez. 74 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,973 I know you're flute's well-established rival, 75 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,225 But take it down a few steps. 76 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,061 - I put you on the kid-napper case. 77 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,938 So instead of following my orders, 78 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,356 You went in search of glory 79 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,734 Just to fill that damn glory hole of yours. 80 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,903 - And if you're here, where's the kid-napper, loofus? 81 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,363 That's "loser" and "doofus" combined. 82 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,531 Keep up, dooser. 83 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,700 - Oh, don't worry, I cuffed her to a pole. 84 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:25,829 Don't look at me like that. 85 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,789 I was told it's a myth they can eat through wood. 86 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,833 Wait, no, that's tin cans. 87 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,127 Oh, and the males are known to lactate. 88 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,545 Well, join the club. 89 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,424 Is there a baby nearby? 90 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,426 [bell rings] 91 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:45,807 - Wow, can you imagine being a stable boy? 92 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,059 [gasps] they always look 93 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,727 Like they've been freshly-hugged 94 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,812 By both parents. 95 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:51,939 [all laugh] - except for that one. 96 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:55,108 Oh, somebody's gonna start crying. 97 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,236 [giggles] - you guys, 98 00:03:57,363 --> 00:04:00,948 My mom says it was just an emotional affair. 99 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,659 - Jacket, jayden. 100 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,410 - [grunting] 101 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,290 - [grunts] - relationships ebb and flow. 102 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,334 They'll be stronger for it. 103 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,795 - An opening in the stable boys. 104 00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,338 This is my shot. 105 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,090 All I have to do is make it seem like 106 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,801 My family isn't in complete shambles, and I'm in! 107 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,053 - I absolutely love that for you obvi, 108 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:26,807 But stanakin, be careful. 109 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,475 - B--uh, of what? - I don't know. 110 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,936 Just seems like the right thing to say to someone 111 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,146 Before they start a life of deception. 112 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,941 - Look, kang, about this whole mix-up, 113 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:39,027 I just wanted to say I apologize for nothing, 114 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,029 And this will absolutely happen again. 115 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,448 - Which is why I need to teach you a lesson. 116 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:48,662 - I'm putting you on desk duty. 117 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,372 - Desk duty? You can't do that. 118 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,374 I'm the world's most smartest detective. 119 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,252 That's how good I am. I defy the rules of grammar. 120 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,962 I need to be out solving crimes, 121 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,422 Not desking desks. 122 00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,631 - Go ahead. 123 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,133 - I don't even know how to get into this thing. 124 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,968 Arms first? Feet first? 125 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,636 What, do you wear it? 126 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,019 - Oh, flute, since you'll be here all day, 127 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,395 Tell anyone who calls for me 128 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:16,148 That I'm busy out in the field solving cool crimes. 129 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:17,482 - Aw, cool crimes! 130 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:20,068 - Getting free food at diners. - I love comped coffee. 131 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,070 - Sitting in a parked car talking out the window 132 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,823 To detectives parked in the opposite direction. 133 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,241 - The squad car 69. 134 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,952 - And would you mind processing this paperwork for me? 135 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,829 - [coughs] okay, that's it. 136 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,456 Whoo--ow. [groans] 137 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,124 Caught the three-hole punch on my one-ball pouch. 138 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,835 - Let's go get you stocked up on office supplies. 139 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,421 I hope you like ballpoint pens. 140 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,174 Everything you need is on that shelf. 141 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,260 And don't do anything stupid, got it? 142 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,388 - Ugh, I hate when people tell me what to do. 143 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:51,558 And I really hate when boxes tell me what to do. 144 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,687 Mm. I remember mcsnuff. 145 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,022 I bet this holds up. 146 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,607 Everything from the past does. 147 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,320 - Hi, kids. I'm mcsnuff the mystery mutt. 148 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,365 And I'm here to show you how to help me stop crime. 149 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,825 - Ugh, how can I do that if I'm stuck 150 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,077 In my stupid desk all day? 151 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,120 - You may be asking, "how can I do that 152 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,373 If I'm stuck at my stupid desk all day?" 153 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,457 [gunshot] 154 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,667 Crime doesn't play by the rules, 155 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,127 So why should you? 156 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,713 It's time to take matters into your own paws, 157 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,925 Even if you've been specifically told not to. 158 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,844 [soft dramatic music] 159 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:33,725 ♪ ♪ 160 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,021 - This just might be purr-fect. 161 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,189 But, like, the dog version. 162 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,733 Grr--grr-fect? Woof--woof-fect? 163 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,318 No, grr-fect. Yeah. 164 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,153 Grr-fect. 165 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,076 [goats bleating] - this came to me. 166 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,537 But I think it's fan mail for you. 167 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,497 See? It says "kidney-per." 168 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,624 - Here, they keep sending me your water bill. 169 00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,334 [trash can clatters] 170 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,504 Hmm. Probably just some kid. 171 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,673 - Ooh. - Not that kind. 172 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,716 Now, where were we? 173 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,927 [ominous music] 174 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,847 - Well, that does it for another day at work. 175 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,223 Time for casual mode. 176 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,392 [console beeps] [sighs] 177 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,687 [both whimpering] 178 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,439 - Look at that. - [gasps] 179 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,110 - Looks like I argyled too soon. 180 00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:28,697 - Are we clear, boss, at the crime scene? 181 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:29,990 - This burg needs a hero. 182 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,324 And you either die a hero 183 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,118 Or live long enough to see yourself 184 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,620 Dress up as a former hero. 185 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,205 Wow. Now I wanna eat a hero. 186 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,541 Not the hero I need, but the one I deserve, 187 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,834 With extra banana peppers. 188 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:41,960 - Hey, man, 189 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,170 You're not the only vigilante 190 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,672 Waiting to give a rooftop monologue. 191 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,174 - Reporting live from downtown 192 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,843 Where there's one word on everybody's lips, mcsnuff! 193 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,720 - Who is he? Where'd he come from? 194 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,013 And is he "fixed"? 195 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,056 - And, mcsnuff, if you're listening, 196 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,392 I'll be reporting later from the reservoir, 197 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,186 Which I'll have accidentally fallen into 198 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,813 While wearing a necklace made of snausages. 199 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,273 - What a bunch of lois lanes 200 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,984 All hot and bothered for a masked vigilante. 201 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,361 [scoffs] they're not serious journalists like me. 202 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:11,072 You know what turns me on? Honest reporting. 203 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,949 - You got turned on by the report 204 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,701 Of the gas leak at the children's hospital? 205 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,244 - A little bit. A little bit. 206 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:19,539 - Save me, mcsnuff, and then upside-down kiss me. 207 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,209 [indistinct chatter] 208 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,503 - Oh, hey, guys. Is this seat free? 209 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:28,089 - Why, has the financial burden of maintaining two homes 210 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:29,883 Because your parents divorced 211 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,801 Left you unable to afford a chair? 212 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,012 [all chuckle] 213 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,055 - Not sure if you heard, 214 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,806 But my dad's moved back in, 215 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,434 And my mom's falling hard. 216 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,936 - Hmm. 217 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,354 A second-chance love story 218 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,564 Would be a good addition to the crew. 219 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,651 Sit. We were about to eat. 220 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,110 My parents made my lunch 221 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,321 With their arms around each other as equals. 222 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,907 - I have my parents' leftover wedding cake. 223 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:56,535 They renew their vows monthly. 224 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,827 Mmm-mmm. 225 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,663 - And you, stan? 226 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:04,084 - My parents didn't make me lunch. 227 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:09,214 Because we're intermittent fasting as a family. 228 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,384 - My family and I did a juice cleanse last year. 229 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,220 Mother, father, and I have never been closer. 230 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,015 Consider yourself under consideration. 231 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,602 - You can almost taste that jacket, can't ya? 232 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:23,812 And that'll have to do 233 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:26,147 Because you have no lunch whatsoever. 234 00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,109 - In case you all were wondering where I was, 235 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,360 I was taking a dump. 236 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,112 But I heard while I was in the bathroom 237 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,989 That mcsnuff busted another perp? 238 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:36,700 I'm just saying, he's solved a lot of your cases. 239 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,077 - Yeah, almost as many cases 240 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:42,163 As you've made extended poops. 241 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,623 - Well, maybe you'd catch a criminal too 242 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,167 If you weren't so busy sliding into my bm's. 243 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,837 If you don't mind, I've got stuff to do. 244 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,590 There. One paperwork. 245 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,718 - Martinez, where are you at on the teeth heist? 246 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,052 - Teeth heist? 247 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,887 - Oh, some real pros at the dental museum. 248 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,347 - Then I gotta run. 249 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,683 - Yeah, where you running, desk bunny? 250 00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,226 - I gotta go, uh... 251 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,395 Take another dump, a big one too. 252 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,805 And you know how people say, "don't go in there" afterwards? 253 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,107 Well, this is that but in advance. 254 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,442 Don't come in there. 255 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,820 Because you will definitely find a big dump and me. 256 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,781 [heroic music] 257 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:24,164 ♪ 258 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,599 - [screams] 259 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:46,019 Not you, mcsnuff! 260 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:51,358 Help me, mcsnuff! 261 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,194 - I'm harmony flute, doing real reporting, 262 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,862 Unlike some desperate hacks 263 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,280 Who throw themselves into danger. 264 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,616 And I'm here in the grimsburg subway tunnels, 265 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,203 Which were abandoned years ago due to a hostile rat takeover. 266 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,829 [rats squeaking] - uh, harmony. 267 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:05,997 I think the rats are coming. 268 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,499 [train horn blares] 269 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:10,418 - Oh, my god. That is not what I pictured. 270 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,920 Aah! 271 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,089 [gasps] 272 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,800 - So now you are doin' the lois lane thing? 273 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:18,760 Good for you. Let me know how it goes! 274 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,470 Bye! 275 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,805 - [grunts] 276 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:28,812 ♪ ♪ 277 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,106 You--you saved me. 278 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,483 - Mcsnuff, you're under arrest 279 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,777 For vigilantism. 280 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,362 - Whee! 281 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,405 - Cool. 282 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:42,158 - Well, use yours. - Oh, yeah. 283 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:49,958 - Mcsnuff did that. 284 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,835 We all saw it, right? Yeah, we all saw it. 285 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,422 ♪ ♪ 286 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,507 - Just so you know, I'm not like the lois lanes. 287 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,385 I'm not gonna be all impressed because you saved my life 288 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,803 And then took me on a roof 289 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,097 To show me a view of the city I've never seen before-- 290 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,099 Oh, my god, the town actually looks 291 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,684 Kind of beautiful from up here. 292 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,228 - World looks different when you're on top of it. 293 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,231 - Oh, your voice. It's so...Manly. 294 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,859 - Oh, this old thing? It's just how I talk. 295 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,194 - [chuckles] and what big eyes you have. 296 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,946 - I actually see out the nostrils. 297 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,323 - I bet it's hot in there. - Very. 298 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,617 And I think there are spiders in the ear part. 299 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,035 Let me give you a ride home. 300 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,704 But if you're ever in trouble again, 301 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:28,955 Text the snuffline. 302 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,166 Standard messaging rates apply. 303 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,294 - Thank you. Or should I say... 304 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,587 Good boy. 305 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,050 - Just think, 306 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,220 It'll be that but on a jacket. 307 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:47,098 You sure you have the shoulders for a jacket? 308 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:50,477 - Oh, look, there's mom. And mcsnuff? 309 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,187 What are they do-- 310 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,106 Oh, my god! 311 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,941 I know you always wanted a dog, 312 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,943 But not like this. 313 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,321 Or maybe like this. Not judging, okay. 314 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,326 [dramatic music] 315 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:10,955 - Dad, I-I-I saw mom kissing mcsnuff! 316 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,373 - Pretty nice, huh? - Nice? 317 00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,408 - No, I mean, nice for her, not me. 318 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,961 Mcsnuff is obviously a really cool, 319 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,838 Brave, sexy, clever, cool, 320 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:20,715 Sensual, heroic, funny, strong, 321 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,383 Fast guy who's extremely cool. 322 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:26,095 Maybe this town and your mom need a hero like mcsnuff. 323 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,349 - That dog has even got my dad under his spell. 324 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,351 Well, I'm not gonna let some stray 325 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,561 Tear my family apart and ruin my chance 326 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,313 Of becoming a stable boy. 327 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,690 Maybe what this town really needs 328 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,109 Is a villain. 329 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,529 - And more bike lanes. 330 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,033 - Check it out. First he takes your job. 331 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,369 Then he takes your girl. What's next? 332 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,913 Oh, wait, you don't have anything else. 333 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:52,956 Gotcha! 334 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,040 - Actually, I happen to have 335 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,375 A massive amount of credit card debt, 336 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,586 So not gotcha, more like backwards gotcha-- 337 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,213 "ahctog." 338 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,551 - You sure are interested in mcsnuff. 339 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,927 Anything you wanna tell me? 340 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,263 - Uh, just that he's doing great out there. 341 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,306 And I'm doing great in here on desk duty. 342 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,350 You might as well call me miley cyrus 343 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,061 Because I've been sitting here getting the best of one world. 344 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,438 - Don't you mean miley stewart? 345 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,315 - Why would you insinuate I'm miley stewart, 346 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,775 The character that miley cyrus played 347 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,944 In "hannah montana," who is living life as a teen 348 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,571 While secretly being a popstar, 349 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,698 Allowing her to have the best of both worlds? 350 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,149 [gasps] 351 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,202 How did you know? - Because I set all this up. 352 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,288 I led you into the storage room 353 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,081 And wrote "don't knock over" on the box 354 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,250 Because I knew that would make you knock it over. 355 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,918 And then once you saw the costume, 356 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,420 I knew you wouldn't be able to resist 357 00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:42,255 Putting it on and fighting crime. 358 00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,132 But as mcsnuff, you wouldn't be getting 359 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,259 Any of the glory, so you'd learn the lesson 360 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:49,012 That justice is its own reward. 361 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,638 But you never learned it, 362 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,765 So I have to tell you the lesson. 363 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:56,311 Flute, justice is its own reward. 364 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,979 - Ugh, you could have just told me that 365 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,230 In the first place. 366 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,274 - A true mentor takes the longest route 367 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,067 To travel the shortest distance, 368 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,486 Like a butterfly on a windy day. 369 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,530 - Well, now it seems like you're just making up 370 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,698 Sayings about mentors. 371 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,033 - Hey, who's the mentor here? 372 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,367 - Starting to think no one is. 373 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,537 But I'm solving crimes, and everybody loves me, 374 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,705 Including harmony. 375 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,291 - Do they love you or the suit? 376 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,962 ♪ 377 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,464 - Kang's right. 378 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,425 I do all the work, but he gets all the glory. 379 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,677 It's time for me to tell the world that I'm-- 380 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,638 [sinister laughter] 381 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,972 Somebody there? 382 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,059 - Follow the warm stream running down your thigh. 383 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,394 No. Down here. 384 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,189 If you tell the truth, it will ruin everything. 385 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:44,067 People don't love flute. They love mcsnuff. 386 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,069 Especially harmony. 387 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,530 [glass shatters] 388 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:54,202 - Ha! [grunting] 389 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,912 - I'm taking you to the pound. 390 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,914 [phone beeps] 391 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,832 See? It's from harmony. 392 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,834 She's in trouble, so she texted me 393 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,670 On the snuffline, not you. 394 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:07,048 ♪ 395 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,384 - Oh, he was fighting himself, 396 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,095 Like I was in the original spi-- 397 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,223 Wait, is that the whole reason I'm here? 398 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,976 Eh, it's good to get out of the house. 399 00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,144 [tires screech] 400 00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:24,440 - Harmony, I came. Where is she? 401 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,067 "where are you?" 402 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,945 No, not "whales are yummy." that's not cool or true. 403 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,780 Damn these giant paws! 404 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,949 Ooh. 405 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,159 I deserve a treat. 406 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,788 In the words of the bard... 407 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:39,914 Ruh-roh. 408 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:44,502 ♪ ♪ 409 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,505 - Oh, come on, probable cause, that's not helping. 410 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,258 But it would make a fun tiktok. - Summers! 411 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,093 - Yes, sergeant yergunnawannaseedis? 412 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,970 - You're gonna wanna see this. 413 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,096 [remote clicks] 414 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,973 - And we go now to a live feed 415 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,058 From an abandoned warehouse downtown 416 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,351 Where a crazed lunatic 417 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,520 Claims to have captured mcsnuff. 418 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,147 - People of grimsburg, 419 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:07,191 It is I, the dognapper. 420 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,945 And I'm here to rid this town of your favorite hero, 421 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:14,907 Unless there is a bigger hero who can save him. 422 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:18,244 Let's say a mustachioed detective? 423 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,247 And then anyone who was falling in love with mcsnuff 424 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,082 Would have to shift their love 425 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,960 To the new, better, bigger mustachioed hero 426 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:30,006 Who saved him because that's how love works! 427 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,217 [laughs evilly] 428 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:36,387 - Ugh, how did you knock me out? 429 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,098 Did you slip something into one of those 24 beers? 430 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,559 - Shut up, you don't get to ask the questions. 431 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,187 You get to sit and stay 432 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,189 Until my dad comes to save you. 433 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,025 And then everything will be right again. 434 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,152 - Ugh. I am your dad. 435 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,488 - Oh, really? [chuckles] 436 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,783 If you're my dad, then when is my birthday? 437 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,660 - Uh...April-ish? 438 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,828 - Dad! 439 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,414 ♪ ♪ 440 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:06,793 - Remember earlier when I was like, "be careful," 441 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,377 And you were like, "of what?" 442 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,088 And then I was like, "I don't know"? 443 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,006 I think this might be it. 444 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,258 - Oh, god, we've gotta get out of here! 445 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,052 - Hurry, I'm not supposed to die like this. 446 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,678 I wanna die in a road warrior battle 447 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,971 After the climate apocalypse. 448 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,516 Please, god, all I need is five more years. 449 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,644 ♪ ♪ 450 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,229 [grunts] 451 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,274 [grunting] 452 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,570 - No time to rescue me and mcsnuff. 453 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,197 Leave me. Take the suit. 454 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,783 Tell the world it was you all along. 455 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,035 Get the glory and the mom! 456 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,663 - Smart kid. Save me. 457 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:51,420 - The fact that I'm genuinely not sure what he's going to do 458 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,047 Is concerning. 459 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,969 - Mcsnuff! - Hold on! 460 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,221 - I'm coming in, so you can save me. 461 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,348 [glass shatters] - what are they doing? 462 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,308 - It's like you said, those women aren't serious 463 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,018 If they let themselves get all swept-up like that. 464 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,854 - Maybe I was wrong. 465 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,397 You know, it felt nice getting swept-up 466 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,066 In the moment, whisked out of a subway tunnel, 467 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,852 Saying "whee" and really meaning it. 468 00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,780 Who are we to judge them for what they like? 469 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,074 No, if they wanna overly spray their hair 470 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,909 And wear poly-fiber suit jackets, 471 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,327 I fully support them. 472 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,788 Oh, my god, those women are so flammable. 473 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,249 [explosions and screaming] 474 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,418 - You're a little turned on right now, aren't you? 475 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,003 - Oh, yeah. 476 00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,089 [crowd gasps] 477 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:38,968 - Where's mcsnuff? 478 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,847 - Mcsnuff is...Is... 479 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,432 - Do it, dad. 480 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,184 Tell them it's you. 481 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:53,065 ♪ ♪ 482 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:57,695 - I am proud to say that mcsnuff is dead. 483 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,780 [all gasp] but he'll never die. 484 00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:03,451 [all sigh] well, no, I mean, he is dead. 485 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:04,702 [all gasp] 486 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,245 But he can never really die 487 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,956 Because mcsnuff is inside all of us. 488 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,666 And I know that because, in a way, 489 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,084 I was inside of him. 490 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,629 - Mcsnuff was gay? - We're totally okay with that. 491 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,464 - I love cnn's new year's eve! 492 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,132 [cheering] 493 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,967 - Why didn't you tell them, dad? 494 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:23,054 You could have been the hero and gotten mom back. 495 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,849 - Because sometimes justice is its own reward. 496 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:27,975 - Yeah, I taught him that. 497 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,811 Mentor. Continue. 498 00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:32,980 - And I guess I don't need a jacket 499 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,191 To have a pretty awesome family. 500 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,819 - No idea what you're talking about, kiddo boy, no idea. 501 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,238 - I've been meaning to bring this up. 502 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,406 Does your dad not know your name? 503 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:46,327 Because he hasn't said it in, like, a while. 504 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:50,831 - Prison is tough, though. It is. 505 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,333 I miss waking up and immediately seeing 506 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,417 The love of my life, 507 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,253 Who's been sleeping next to me all night. 508 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,296 Folks, I'm talking about my phone. 509 00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,341 [booing] 510 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,969 - Oof, netflix will give anybody a comedy special. 511 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,804 - Marvin, the raccoons are back. 512 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,555 And one of them has a switchblade. 513 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,182 - Coming! 514 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,818 - [cackling] 515 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,570 So what's up this weekend? 516 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:24,824 - Just...Hanging around. 517 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,326 [cackling] 518 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,997 - We don't have to talk. 519 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:36,711 - Bento.