1 00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:03,473 [timer beeping] - [screams] 2 00:00:03,473 --> 00:00:05,444 - How come we never catch killers 3 00:00:05,545 --> 00:00:06,647 in someplace pretty, 4 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,217 like a rustic apple orchard 5 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,819 or the butterfly exhibit at the arboretum? 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,189 - Summers, please. 7 00:00:11,223 --> 00:00:12,358 This isn't the time for mindless chitchat. 8 00:00:12,392 --> 00:00:14,128 Save it for the office party tonight. 9 00:00:14,228 --> 00:00:15,331 You are coming, right? 10 00:00:15,431 --> 00:00:16,233 - I can't wait! 11 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,936 Some say office parties are where 12 00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:19,973 many an office romance is born. 13 00:00:19,973 --> 00:00:21,877 - Could you talk about this later? 14 00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:23,213 - Wuh-uh... 15 00:00:23,213 --> 00:00:25,217 Summers, do you have a work crush? 16 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:27,221 Okay, okay, let me guess. Uh, the chief. 17 00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:28,858 The maintenance lady who changes our water cooler. 18 00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:29,793 Kang? 19 00:00:29,893 --> 00:00:32,265 - That's okay, Summers. Happens all the time. 20 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,769 Men, women, Siri... - I didn't get that. 21 00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:37,576 Would you mind repeating, perhaps over dinner? 22 00:00:37,576 --> 00:00:39,044 - No, I meant Wynona! 23 00:00:39,078 --> 00:00:40,649 I talk about her all the time. 24 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,519 - I've never heard you say one word about her to me. 25 00:00:42,552 --> 00:00:45,257 - He actually mentioned her when you guys first came in, 26 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:47,395 when you promised to get me out of here alive. 27 00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:50,134 - Okay, okay, I get it. You like living. 28 00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:51,269 You two are coming, right? 29 00:00:51,303 --> 00:00:53,106 - Why? It's always the same. 30 00:00:53,139 --> 00:00:55,377 You get drunk, you try to make out with the keg tap, 31 00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,147 and then you AirDrop your dude nudes 32 00:00:57,247 --> 00:00:58,651 to the entire office. 33 00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:00,287 Last time, you ended up arresting yourself 34 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:02,257 for indecent exposure. 35 00:01:02,357 --> 00:01:03,861 - Well, sounds like I caught the guy 36 00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:04,930 and won the party, 37 00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:06,266 just like I do every year, 38 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:07,869 because that's what the big dogs do. 39 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,673 We... 40 00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:10,876 win. 41 00:01:10,876 --> 00:01:12,745 [timer continues beeping] 42 00:01:15,919 --> 00:01:16,954 - [sighs] 43 00:01:16,987 --> 00:01:18,123 - Win. 44 00:01:18,156 --> 00:01:19,559 What's everyone wearing tonight? 45 00:01:19,659 --> 00:01:22,131 - Um, could someone please get me out of here? 46 00:01:22,231 --> 00:01:23,968 - Please tell me she's not invited. 47 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,372 [all laugh] 48 00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:28,009 [sighing] Oh... 49 00:01:28,009 --> 00:01:29,012 [timer beeps] 50 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,017 [adventurous jazz music] 51 00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:39,231 ♪ 52 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,624 [mysterious music] 53 00:01:51,624 --> 00:01:53,627 [gates creak ominously] 54 00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:56,465 - This is so awesome, Mr. Flesh. 55 00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:58,036 My dad's bringing me to hang out 56 00:01:58,069 --> 00:01:59,305 with his work friends. 57 00:01:59,439 --> 00:02:01,577 - Yep, this is how it starts! 58 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:04,348 Respect, hugs with both arms, your first beer, 59 00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:07,722 then the cover of "Good Dad-Having" magazine! 60 00:02:07,755 --> 00:02:11,396 - I guess he finally doesn't see me as a baby anymore. 61 00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,467 - Sorry, couldn't get a babysitter for Stan, 62 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:16,072 my baby who needs a babysitter 'cause he's a baby. 63 00:02:16,105 --> 00:02:17,107 - [sighs] 64 00:02:17,207 --> 00:02:18,343 - Great. We're all here. 65 00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:20,347 Now we can get started. 66 00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:23,453 - Wow, looks like Wayne Manor threw up. 67 00:02:23,554 --> 00:02:27,327 - Hello, Kang. You look... puffy, as always. 68 00:02:27,427 --> 00:02:29,098 - I've never understood why we work 69 00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:30,534 with a convicted criminal. 70 00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:32,204 - Allegedly. 71 00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:34,542 - Not allegedly. You were convicted. 72 00:02:34,542 --> 00:02:36,245 - So they say. 73 00:02:36,346 --> 00:02:38,082 - That's the same thing as "allegedly." 74 00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:39,986 - Presumably. 75 00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:41,957 Oh, scoops! 76 00:02:43,226 --> 00:02:45,096 - So whose mansion is this, anyway? 77 00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:46,232 - It's mine. 78 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,935 And it's not just a mansion. 79 00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,372 It's also a train. 80 00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:52,612 Welcome to... my train-sion. 81 00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:53,714 [dramatic music] 82 00:02:53,814 --> 00:02:54,816 [all gasp] 83 00:02:54,816 --> 00:02:56,352 ♪ 84 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,488 [train whistle blows] 85 00:02:57,589 --> 00:03:03,032 ♪ ♪ 86 00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,402 - I'm Alistair Chudwell. 87 00:03:04,503 --> 00:03:06,406 You may know me as the Sultan of Splurt, 88 00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:09,478 and I-- [clock chimes] 89 00:03:09,512 --> 00:03:11,015 Ah, the top of the hour. 90 00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,719 You see, I became chemically dependent 91 00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:13,688 on my energy drinks 92 00:03:13,688 --> 00:03:15,390 after giving up water in the '90s. 93 00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:18,062 My doctor says I now need one an hour, 94 00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:19,198 or I'll die. [chuckles] 95 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:22,973 Which is how we can legally say Splurt is doctor-recommended. 96 00:03:23,006 --> 00:03:24,409 [gulps] 97 00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:26,680 - I can't stand that guy. 98 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,651 My cousin got addicted to Splurt, 99 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,153 and his heart exploded, 100 00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:32,324 along with the rest of his body. 101 00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:34,562 He... tried to tackle a FedEx truck. 102 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,667 - I heard he has a secret tank 103 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,539 where he keeps his own "Shape of Water" sexy fish-guy, 104 00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:41,208 and he won't let me see it! 105 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,579 - Now, contrary to what the poor 106 00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:45,417 would like you to believe, money can buy happiness. 107 00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:46,553 It's allowed me the chance to live out 108 00:03:46,553 --> 00:03:48,524 all of my wildest fantasies. 109 00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:49,860 Just last week, I paid a hefty sum 110 00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:52,064 to have a three-panel "Garfield" cartoon 111 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,299 reenacted for me. 112 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,404 My scientists engineered a talking cat, 113 00:03:55,437 --> 00:03:57,241 and I was able to get Paul Giamatti 114 00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:58,911 to play Jon Arbuckle. 115 00:03:58,911 --> 00:03:59,846 He was fair. 116 00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:01,482 I think he may have been doing it for the money. 117 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:03,554 [yelps] 118 00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:05,457 [laughs] You never get used to it. 119 00:04:05,558 --> 00:04:07,829 But a few bumps are a small price to pay 120 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:10,601 to drive your choo-choo house around town. 121 00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:13,039 - Alistair crafted a murder mystery party 122 00:04:13,072 --> 00:04:15,477 so challenging that if we solve it, 123 00:04:15,578 --> 00:04:17,247 he'll give the department a million dollars, 124 00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,953 and that's one of my favorite numbers of dollars. 125 00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:23,092 - I'm Howard... LaHubastank. 126 00:04:23,092 --> 00:04:26,065 devoted husband to Ruth LaHubastank. 127 00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:28,771 - Oh, that's me. I'm Ruth. - Mm... 128 00:04:28,871 --> 00:04:31,075 - I'm in a marriage of practical convenience 129 00:04:31,176 --> 00:04:32,311 and nothing more. 130 00:04:32,411 --> 00:04:34,215 Whatever tiny spark was once there 131 00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:36,119 died many years ago. 132 00:04:36,185 --> 00:04:37,421 - Well, still your husband. 133 00:04:37,454 --> 00:04:40,562 [mysterious music] 134 00:04:40,662 --> 00:04:43,768 ♪ ♪ 135 00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,972 - Aren't you gonna be a character, too, 136 00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:47,040 Mr. Chudwell? 137 00:04:47,074 --> 00:04:49,111 - Oh, I am. I'm Oliver Bricklet, 138 00:04:49,178 --> 00:04:52,218 a poor millionaire for whom money is still an object. 139 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,654 I only have a private jet 140 00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:56,492 because I can't afford to fly to space. 141 00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:59,833 [laughs] Can you imagine? 142 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,368 [laughs] 143 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,039 And you are... 144 00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:04,643 - I'm the detective! 145 00:05:04,743 --> 00:05:06,378 - Okay, nobody's gonna believe you as a detective. 146 00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:08,617 We should switch. You can be Curd, 147 00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:10,588 a newsie with aggressive scoliosis. 148 00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:12,659 - Ah-ah, you must play the card you were dealt. 149 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,028 - [New York accent] Fine. I sell my papes, 150 00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:15,665 but I ain't gonna like it, mister. 151 00:05:15,765 --> 00:05:16,800 [normally] Ugh, you know what? 152 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,969 I'm not gonna physically hunch over. 153 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,038 That might be in poor taste, 154 00:05:19,104 --> 00:05:21,375 but I will let my weird back inform my performance. 155 00:05:21,475 --> 00:05:23,547 - Did someone say "performance"? 156 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:26,687 That's my speciality. 157 00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:29,424 I'm Gerta Gibbly, stunning film starlet 158 00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:31,262 known for her romantic talkies 159 00:05:31,262 --> 00:05:32,666 and her birdlike wrists. 160 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:35,270 - I'm Kitty von Killedherhusband. 161 00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:37,542 - Tiny Timmy Oversocks. 162 00:05:37,609 --> 00:05:40,548 - And I am Baroness Anna Dijonaise, 163 00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:43,420 the first opera singer and... 164 00:05:43,453 --> 00:05:45,558 ♪ Astronaut ♪ 165 00:05:45,658 --> 00:05:48,196 - Well, now that we're all-- ring, ring. 166 00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:51,302 Ring, ring? The telephone, at this hour? 167 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,306 I guess I'll go answer it, 168 00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:54,876 in the parlor, 169 00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:56,178 alone. 170 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:58,851 [clock chiming] - Ugh. Let me guess. 171 00:05:58,884 --> 00:06:00,989 Lights go off, we hear a scream from the other room, 172 00:06:00,989 --> 00:06:03,426 lights back on, there's been a murder. 173 00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:05,097 - [screams] 174 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:06,766 [dramatic music] 175 00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:11,309 - That was easy. 176 00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:12,779 [train whistle blows] 177 00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:14,549 - [screams] 178 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,318 Oh, wait, it's a game. 179 00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:17,889 - Okay, fellow party guests... 180 00:06:17,989 --> 00:06:19,826 slash suspects. [laughs] 181 00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,564 I hope you each have a good alibi 182 00:06:21,597 --> 00:06:24,034 as we embark on a long, twisty night-- 183 00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,003 - Already got it. 184 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:27,542 Couldn't be Gerta, with her birdlike wrists, 185 00:06:27,575 --> 00:06:29,378 or Kitty, who was being hawkishly watched 186 00:06:29,444 --> 00:06:30,614 by the baby detective. 187 00:06:30,714 --> 00:06:32,718 Meanwhile, Ruth LaHubastank was too concerned 188 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:33,954 with her boring love life with Howard, 189 00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:36,994 a man who we all know has the sexual power of an ottoman, 190 00:06:37,027 --> 00:06:39,332 and last I checked, outside the empire, 191 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,735 ottomans can't kill. 192 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,173 - We're still talking about the character, right? 193 00:06:43,173 --> 00:06:45,110 - Which leaves Tiny Timmy Oversocks, 194 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,516 whose little sailor fancy bow had me wondering 195 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,218 how a child could be this fancy 196 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,991 unless he was the bastard child of a poor millionaire 197 00:06:51,991 --> 00:06:54,228 and here to take his revenge on Daddy. 198 00:06:54,328 --> 00:06:56,833 Show me Tiny Timmy Oversocks! 199 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:59,238 - You are... [buzzer sounds] 200 00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:00,742 Incorrect. - What? 201 00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,879 - This is it, Stanatha Christie. 202 00:07:02,912 --> 00:07:05,752 Time to give your father something he can brag about 203 00:07:05,752 --> 00:07:08,356 other than your incredibly low birth weight. 204 00:07:08,389 --> 00:07:10,493 - Um, I might have a guess. 205 00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:11,596 - Stan, please. 206 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,601 Now, I think it might be a misprint and-- 207 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,971 - I think it's Baroness Anna Dijonaise. 208 00:07:16,071 --> 00:07:19,011 Her initials are B-A-D, 209 00:07:19,111 --> 00:07:21,482 so maybe she's the bad guy? 210 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,652 - [accented] Extry, extry. 211 00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:25,256 Baby detective whiffs it big-time! 212 00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:26,793 [normally] You know, I decided to go with the hunch. 213 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:28,362 I think it's just who Curd is. 214 00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:29,999 - The detective is... 215 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,368 [chime sounds] Correct. 216 00:07:31,402 --> 00:07:33,005 [fanfare plays] 217 00:07:33,072 --> 00:07:33,674 - [gasps] 218 00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:34,810 - Wait, he was right? 219 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,679 Okay, is this a murder mystery 220 00:07:36,679 --> 00:07:38,382 or a murder prank show? Because-- 221 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,186 well, actually, that's a pretty good idea. 222 00:07:40,219 --> 00:07:42,792 Is it a fake detective, or are the bodies made of cake? 223 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,063 - Okay, Alistair, love the commitment, 224 00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:47,935 but you can get up now and give us our cool million. 225 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:49,138 [dramatic music] 226 00:07:49,138 --> 00:07:50,708 [all gasp] 227 00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:51,510 - Huh. 228 00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,446 - Dad, what do we do? 229 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,949 - I'll tell you exactly what we're going to do. 230 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,654 We're gonna stop playing fake games 231 00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,423 and start solving real murders, 232 00:07:58,524 --> 00:08:00,126 because what you did was a fluke, 233 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,264 and now it's time for a Flute. 234 00:08:02,364 --> 00:08:03,934 Wait, is this a prank show? 235 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:05,738 Is this a camera knife? 236 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:09,144 Nope. That's a murder knife. 237 00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:17,160 [train whistle blows] 238 00:08:19,297 --> 00:08:21,603 - Nice job, everybody. He's dead. 239 00:08:21,603 --> 00:08:22,805 Now we're out a million bucks 240 00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:25,110 and we gotta catch the killer for free. 241 00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:27,549 - Let's split into pairs and find who did this. 242 00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:28,684 I'll go with Pentos. 243 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:29,986 - I'll go with Wynona-- 244 00:08:30,086 --> 00:08:31,823 because my character is your husband, 245 00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:33,828 not because I love you in real life. 246 00:08:33,894 --> 00:08:35,864 [laughs nervously] Whew, that was close. 247 00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:37,167 - And I'll take Stan to show him 248 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,837 how a real detective does it 249 00:08:38,871 --> 00:08:41,042 and also because he's my son. 250 00:08:41,075 --> 00:08:43,847 [suspenseful music] 251 00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:46,285 - Well, Chief, I guess that leaves you and me 252 00:08:46,385 --> 00:08:47,888 to actually find the killer. 253 00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:49,693 - No, we're gonna find something 254 00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,329 worth the million bucks he promised us 255 00:08:51,429 --> 00:08:52,464 in this train-sion. 256 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:53,600 - Okay, but I'm not sure 257 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,436 I'm comfortable with stealing, 258 00:08:55,537 --> 00:08:56,807 or how everyone's acting 259 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,579 like "train-sion" is a word all of a sudden. 260 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,050 - Pentos, you're a rotten psychopath. 261 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,587 Where would you be hiding? 262 00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:05,457 - Are we really doing this? 263 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,694 Yes, I'm a criminal, 264 00:09:06,694 --> 00:09:08,930 but I've helped Flute catch other criminals, 265 00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:10,601 and frankly, after working with him, 266 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,571 I deserve a statue. 267 00:09:13,841 --> 00:09:16,713 - [laughs] Flute's not the easiest guy to work with. 268 00:09:16,813 --> 00:09:19,417 - Right? I mean, he's always asking 269 00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:20,587 to borrow a pen. 270 00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,592 It's like, here's a thought. 271 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,096 What if you just had a pen? 272 00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:25,932 - And he's always like, 273 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,169 "I solved it with my crime mind." 274 00:09:28,269 --> 00:09:30,707 Oh, you mean you thought about clues with your brain? 275 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,110 That's called being a detective. 276 00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:35,283 - [laughs] I know! He's so proud of it. 277 00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:39,525 - [laughs] Uh, we should, uh, probably get back to it. 278 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,763 - Or... 279 00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:44,936 [intriguing music] 280 00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:47,140 ♪ ♪ 281 00:09:47,173 --> 00:09:49,612 - Hey, maybe there's a secret door 282 00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,315 behind this painting of a door. 283 00:09:51,315 --> 00:09:54,054 - [laughs] Son, if being a detective was that easy, 284 00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:55,625 I'd be out of a jo-- [door creaks] 285 00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:56,860 [mysterious music] 286 00:09:56,926 --> 00:09:59,498 - It's locked. There's a keypad, 287 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,935 but we don't know the code. 288 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,337 - Well, what your soft child brain 289 00:10:02,337 --> 00:10:03,272 hasn't yet comprehended 290 00:10:03,372 --> 00:10:05,878 is that the clock on the mantel is set to 10:51. 291 00:10:05,911 --> 00:10:07,782 That's the same year they invented the chandelier, 292 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,451 and that chandelier has nine light bulbs, 293 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,487 all 60-watt. 294 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:11,790 So if we do the math, 295 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,493 9 times 60 plus 1051-- 296 00:10:13,628 --> 00:10:15,163 - One, two, three. 297 00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:18,002 [gasps] Being a detective is so easy! 298 00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:19,171 - Uh, actually, it's not easy. 299 00:10:19,304 --> 00:10:21,041 Otherwise, why would they pay me a decent salary 300 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:23,045 to do it? Way more than you make. 301 00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:24,782 Wait, you don't get paid to go to school, right? 302 00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:26,819 [dramatic music] 303 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,790 - All he had in there was this vase 304 00:10:28,824 --> 00:10:30,427 and a hard drive full of NFTs. 305 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,832 I ain't got time for fake nerd money. 306 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,504 Hey, have you noticed these rooms are getting... 307 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,642 very weird? 308 00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:40,614 [mysterious music] 309 00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:43,654 - Wait a minute. 310 00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:45,390 Can it be? 311 00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:50,935 ♪ ♪ 312 00:10:51,035 --> 00:10:53,272 - [honks] 313 00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:55,945 ♪ 314 00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:58,450 - Oh, he's beautiful! 315 00:10:58,584 --> 00:10:59,986 - Because of all the money 316 00:11:00,086 --> 00:11:01,723 we're gonna make when we sell him? 317 00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:04,027 - Something like that. 318 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:06,265 - [gurgling] 319 00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:08,704 - I cannot believe we have 320 00:11:08,704 --> 00:11:11,576 the same favorite constellation! 321 00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:13,246 Zeus' inseam. 322 00:11:13,246 --> 00:11:15,684 - I know, right? Favorite type of music? 323 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,320 both: Progressive ska. 324 00:11:17,354 --> 00:11:19,458 - Favorite character actress. 325 00:11:19,491 --> 00:11:20,995 both: Dianne Wiest. 326 00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:23,132 - Oh, oh, favorite YouTube category. 327 00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,671 both: Trucks going under bridges that are too small. 328 00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:27,441 [tender music] 329 00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:30,447 Ah. 330 00:11:30,548 --> 00:11:32,216 - You see anything? 331 00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:34,889 - Nope, no killers in here. 332 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,425 [model train whistles] 333 00:11:36,425 --> 00:11:39,130 You know, we actually make pretty good partners. 334 00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:41,202 [laughs] Flute better watch out. 335 00:11:41,302 --> 00:11:42,738 [train chuffs] Whoa! 336 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,809 [romantic music] 337 00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,313 I've never noticed your eyes before. 338 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,655 - Overheated. Fan activated. 339 00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:51,990 - Oh, it just does that. 340 00:11:52,124 --> 00:11:53,493 You know, like on your laptop 341 00:11:53,527 --> 00:11:54,863 when you run too many apps at once 342 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:57,033 while a lifelong dream is coming true. 343 00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,839 - It's so nice to just get out of that morgue. 344 00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:01,042 I've been in there so much lately, 345 00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:03,045 I was ready to kill somebody. 346 00:12:03,045 --> 00:12:05,049 - "Kill somebody," you say? 347 00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:07,120 The idea of digging around in dead bodies 348 00:12:07,221 --> 00:12:08,022 has to get to you. 349 00:12:08,056 --> 00:12:10,026 - Eh, dead bodies don't bother me. 350 00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:11,262 It's the alive people who come in 351 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:14,068 because they just "have to identify them." 352 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:17,474 Ugh, sometimes I wish they were all dead. 353 00:12:17,509 --> 00:12:19,044 [sinister music] 354 00:12:19,144 --> 00:12:21,649 - Now activating pants cleanup. 355 00:12:21,649 --> 00:12:23,787 [vacuum whirring] 356 00:12:23,854 --> 00:12:25,657 - Look how proud your pops is. 357 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,795 He can't take his eyes off you. 358 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,766 - You know who did it, don't you? 359 00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,670 - I mean... - Well, you know what? 360 00:12:31,737 --> 00:12:32,805 That's great. 361 00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,207 You're my son, so I'm not jealous. 362 00:12:34,207 --> 00:12:35,911 I'm proud. You've eclipsed me. 363 00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:37,782 It happens with all the great father-son duos. 364 00:12:37,782 --> 00:12:38,884 Martin and Charlie Sheen, 365 00:12:38,918 --> 00:12:40,554 Dale and Dale Jr., 366 00:12:40,654 --> 00:12:41,656 Tom and Chet Hanks. 367 00:12:41,756 --> 00:12:43,793 So... so... 368 00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:46,666 so, so proud. 369 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,937 [quiet dramatic music] 370 00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:50,339 - We didn't find anybody. 371 00:12:50,439 --> 00:12:53,379 - Yeah, we didn't see anything weird or disturbing. 372 00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:56,620 At all. - I know who the killer is. 373 00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:57,755 It was actually quite simple. 374 00:12:57,822 --> 00:13:00,192 You just needed to attend to the more subtle clues. 375 00:13:00,226 --> 00:13:02,832 Because I can now tell you without a doubt 376 00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,604 that Alistair Chudwell's murderer is... 377 00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:06,839 no, where is it? 378 00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:09,679 Where's the--oh. Come on. Come on. 379 00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:12,049 - Dad? Is that my notebook? 380 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,221 - You stole your son's notebook? 381 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,924 - Well, yes, but only because I thought 382 00:13:15,958 --> 00:13:17,260 he had the answer and I didn't. 383 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,931 And all I see is random observations 384 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,600 and manga drawings of me. 385 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,970 Wow, you know, I look pretty cool 386 00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:23,640 with big eyes and cat ears. 387 00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:25,176 - How could you do that, Dad? 388 00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:26,579 [tense music] 389 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,249 - Well, I don't think this train-sion 390 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,986 is big enough to unpack all that, 391 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,224 so let's return our attention to the murder. 392 00:13:32,324 --> 00:13:33,994 If none of us found the killer, 393 00:13:33,994 --> 00:13:35,397 then that means... 394 00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,968 - The killer is one of us! 395 00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:40,574 [dramatic music] 396 00:13:40,641 --> 00:13:46,118 ♪ ♪ 397 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,387 - All right, let's-- let's back it up. 398 00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:48,857 - Yeah, yeah. - That was close, yeah. 399 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:55,136 [mysterious music] 400 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,508 - The big dog is upstaged and unwanted. 401 00:13:57,608 --> 00:13:58,977 What am I, the DC Comics Universe? 402 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,279 - One of us is a killer, 403 00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:02,183 and we can't go home until we figure out who. 404 00:14:02,283 --> 00:14:03,754 - Oh, and I'm also a sack of crap. 405 00:14:03,854 --> 00:14:05,524 A big one too: Sam's size. 406 00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:07,995 I won't do Costco 'cause I've been burned too many times, 407 00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,364 which is probably why they told me not 408 00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:10,266 to cook my own samples. 409 00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,203 - I find it very hard to believe 410 00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,942 that anyone in my department could kill someone, 411 00:14:15,042 --> 00:14:17,047 so I'd say Wynona probably did it. 412 00:14:17,047 --> 00:14:19,184 She spends all day hanging out with dead bodies. 413 00:14:19,284 --> 00:14:21,923 I once walked in on her braiding a corpse's hair. 414 00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:23,025 - That only sounds weird 415 00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:24,929 when you take it out of context. 416 00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:26,031 We were having a sleepover. 417 00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:28,002 Pretend husband, defend me. 418 00:14:28,036 --> 00:14:30,674 - Absolutely. Uh, I would like to, uh, 419 00:14:30,775 --> 00:14:33,045 defend my pretend wife by saying, uh, 420 00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:34,782 Pentos, you served time. 421 00:14:34,849 --> 00:14:36,753 - And he's a changed man from it. 422 00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:37,689 But if you wanna talk motive, 423 00:14:37,855 --> 00:14:41,028 Martinez's cousin was killed by Alistair's Splurt. 424 00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:42,532 - You think I need another cousin? 425 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:45,203 Besides, if anyone wanted Alistair dead, it's Chief! 426 00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:47,073 She probably arranged this whole night 427 00:14:47,106 --> 00:14:48,777 just to steal his fish-guy! 428 00:14:48,877 --> 00:14:49,879 - [gurgling] 429 00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:51,114 [all gasp] - What the... 430 00:14:51,214 --> 00:14:53,653 - Look at him. Those beautiful abs, 431 00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,825 supple pectorals, the fins. 432 00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:57,093 Screw the money. 433 00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,331 I finally know what the shape of water is. 434 00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:02,972 It's love! The shape of water is love. 435 00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:05,978 - [gurgling] 436 00:15:06,044 --> 00:15:07,948 - Anyweird, 437 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,487 I still want to accuse someone! 438 00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:12,323 Who hasn't been accused yet? 439 00:15:12,357 --> 00:15:14,194 - I guess there's Stan. - Yes! 440 00:15:14,194 --> 00:15:16,098 Kids are capable of anything. 441 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:18,369 A student once put a sign on my back 442 00:15:18,403 --> 00:15:22,243 that said "I eat farts," which is impossible! 443 00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:25,250 Though I suppose you could cool one into solid form, 444 00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:27,789 put it on a stick, and create some sort 445 00:15:27,822 --> 00:15:31,161 of a makeshift fart-sicle. 446 00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:33,165 - Really? Accusing a kid? 447 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,902 You're as cruel as Dianne's character 448 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,104 in "Bullets Over Broadway." 449 00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:38,209 - And you are acting like Hannah, 450 00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:41,215 even though D-Dubs was one of her sisters. 451 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,219 - Don't worry. They're just arguing 452 00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:45,256 using the movies of Dianne Wiest. 453 00:15:45,356 --> 00:15:47,093 It's very specific, and there are very few people 454 00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:48,128 who can follow it. 455 00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:49,398 It's okay you don't get it. 456 00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:51,402 This is appealing to a different audience. 457 00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:53,272 - Wynona did it! All she talks about 458 00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:54,975 is murdering this and strangling that 459 00:15:55,075 --> 00:15:56,512 and "burning a body produces 460 00:15:56,545 --> 00:15:59,117 between three and nine pounds of cremated remains." 461 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,088 I'm not programmed to make that kind of small talk! 462 00:16:01,121 --> 00:16:02,290 - Well, you're certainly programmed 463 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,827 to stab people in the back. 464 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,163 - And we're back to Wynona, 465 00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:06,533 so the circle is complete. 466 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,237 Flute, you've somehow remained unscathed. 467 00:16:09,271 --> 00:16:11,275 Who did it? - Just say it. 468 00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:12,611 - I don't know who did it, okay? 469 00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:14,715 I'm just as obsolete as Curd's newspapers 470 00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:16,820 and just as crooked as his back. 471 00:16:16,886 --> 00:16:19,726 If you want answers, ask Detective Flute. 472 00:16:19,726 --> 00:16:21,630 Detective Stan Flute. 473 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,499 [crying] 474 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,236 - Dad! 475 00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:28,008 - I can't believe you thought I could kill someone. 476 00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:30,380 I'll kill you! - [screams] 477 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,620 [all yelling] 478 00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,891 - Dad! Dad! 479 00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,594 - Let him go. - I can't. 480 00:16:37,594 --> 00:16:39,899 Did you see the way he ran out of the room? 481 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,636 - Already working on the meme. 482 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,005 [laughs] 483 00:16:43,005 --> 00:16:45,143 - No, he needs my help. 484 00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:47,213 - Did you forget what he did to you? 485 00:16:47,313 --> 00:16:49,886 - No, I didn't forget, 486 00:16:49,886 --> 00:16:51,856 but I don't keep grudges. 487 00:16:51,889 --> 00:16:54,261 Those are for babies. 488 00:16:54,261 --> 00:16:56,398 [cries] 489 00:16:57,935 --> 00:17:00,173 [tinny record playing] 490 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,377 [orchestral music playing] 491 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,047 ♪ 492 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,382 [screams] 493 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,826 Dad, I found you! 494 00:17:09,859 --> 00:17:10,628 Wait. 495 00:17:10,694 --> 00:17:13,667 Why aren't you eating the lasagna? 496 00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,204 - Once again, Detective Stan notices everything. 497 00:17:16,338 --> 00:17:18,175 Since you beat your old man, take this. 498 00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:19,845 Here, you deserve it. 499 00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:21,448 Safety's on. Or off. 500 00:17:21,482 --> 00:17:22,784 I never could figure that out. 501 00:17:22,818 --> 00:17:25,557 - No, Dad, I don't want your job. 502 00:17:25,591 --> 00:17:27,226 I just wanted you to be proud of me 503 00:17:27,327 --> 00:17:28,796 because you're the greatest detective 504 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:29,932 who ever lived! 505 00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:31,603 And the greatest dad. 506 00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:34,207 - Huh, you really are pretty observant. 507 00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,711 I guess seeing how much you've grown up 508 00:17:35,778 --> 00:17:38,449 made me realize that if you're getting older, 509 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:39,451 I must be too. 510 00:17:39,485 --> 00:17:42,090 - Or maybe we're both getting better. 511 00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,227 - Excuse me. 512 00:17:44,261 --> 00:17:46,231 - Paul Giamatti? 513 00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:48,235 - Please, get me outta here. 514 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:52,210 I took this gig 'cause I thought it was Cameo. 515 00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:55,349 - Jon, the only thing I hate more than Mondays 516 00:17:55,416 --> 00:17:58,890 are people who break contracts. 517 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:01,729 - The point is, you really impressed me out there, son. 518 00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:03,265 - Really? [laughs] 519 00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:05,403 Well, I'm sorry someone had to die, 520 00:18:05,403 --> 00:18:07,541 but at least we got closer. 521 00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:10,614 - Yeah, I guess it was just a--whoa! 522 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,851 both: Happy accident. 523 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,722 ♪ ♪ 524 00:18:14,755 --> 00:18:16,860 - [growls] - [quavering] 525 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:18,730 [crashes and screams] 526 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,266 [dramatic music] 527 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:23,005 - [grunting] - [gurgling] 528 00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,009 - Get back here! 529 00:18:25,043 --> 00:18:27,380 ♪ ♪ 530 00:18:27,413 --> 00:18:29,785 - Everyone, stop the medieval melee! 531 00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:32,558 I figured-- we figured it out. 532 00:18:32,591 --> 00:18:34,160 You saw I made that change, right? 533 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,997 I made a conscious choice to include him. 534 00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,133 - I noticed it. 535 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,537 - Stan, wanna give your old man a hand? 536 00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,440 We gotta "Weekend at Bernie's" this guy. 537 00:18:40,473 --> 00:18:42,611 Wow, what did they call it before that movie? 538 00:18:42,678 --> 00:18:44,682 "Carrying around a dead guy" doesn't sound as hilarious. 539 00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:47,554 - Alistair excused himself into this room. 540 00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:49,558 Then we heard the clock chime 9:00. 541 00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:51,529 That meant he had to shotgun a Splurt 542 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,332 to stay alive-- doctor's orders-- 543 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,235 so he grabbed a knife. 544 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,304 - Unfortunately, at that moment, 545 00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:58,141 the train-sion lurched, and he fell, 546 00:18:58,175 --> 00:18:59,278 stabbing himself in the chest 547 00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:01,315 and dying in a pool of his own Splurt, 548 00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:03,052 which means this wasn't a murder. 549 00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,590 both: It was an accident. 550 00:19:06,892 --> 00:19:09,932 - Well, this still went better than last year's party. 551 00:19:10,032 --> 00:19:11,468 - Yeah, at least Flute didn't send out 552 00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:13,973 any pics of his-- [phones chime] 553 00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:15,611 Never mind, there they are. 554 00:19:15,644 --> 00:19:17,180 - [laughs] You're just getting those now? 555 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,281 Maybe we were in a tunnel. 556 00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:20,186 - So can we put him down now? 557 00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:21,956 I think he's starting to leak. 558 00:19:21,956 --> 00:19:23,359 - Oh, God, yeah. Put him down. Gross. 559 00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:25,564 [train horn blaring] 560 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,537 [serene music] 561 00:19:28,637 --> 00:19:30,340 ♪ ♪ 562 00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:33,345 - So I guess we both got a little crazy before. 563 00:19:33,378 --> 00:19:34,581 - Nothing crazy about that. 564 00:19:34,581 --> 00:19:37,888 In fact, I've never been saner in my life. 565 00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:40,359 He's moving in with me, and we're going to get married! 566 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,232 - Uh, yeah, about that. 567 00:19:43,232 --> 00:19:44,535 - You speak English? 568 00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:46,138 - I mean, uh... 569 00:19:46,238 --> 00:19:49,344 [gurgling] 570 00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,848 Bye! 571 00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:53,486 ♪ ♪ 572 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:57,460 - Damn, I really thought that was gonna be something. 573 00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:59,497 Well, that's dating in your 40s. 574 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,003 - Sorry I thought you were a murderer. 575 00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:03,406 - Thanks, fake husband. 576 00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,176 - You're welcome, future wife. 577 00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:06,412 I mean, fake wife. 578 00:20:06,513 --> 00:20:09,585 [quietly] Phew, that was close. 579 00:20:11,622 --> 00:20:14,093 - You realize, once we step off this train, 580 00:20:14,227 --> 00:20:15,664 we'll go back to who we were. 581 00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:19,973 - But we will always have train-sion. 582 00:20:19,973 --> 00:20:21,609 [train horn blaring] 583 00:20:21,709 --> 00:20:24,582 [upbeat music] 584 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,523 ♪ ♪ 585 00:20:28,623 --> 00:20:31,896 - ♪ We'll always have the train-sion ♪ 586 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:35,169 ♪ No matter what they say 587 00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:38,576 ♪ The memories and friendship ♪ 588 00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:41,549 ♪ ♪ 589 00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:43,119 - You know, I'm actually glad 590 00:20:43,219 --> 00:20:45,222 I completely neglected to call the babysitter. 591 00:20:45,256 --> 00:20:48,897 Sorry. Mansitter. 592 00:20:48,964 --> 00:20:49,799 - "Mansitter." 593 00:20:49,966 --> 00:20:52,538 I wonder what happens when you Google that. 594 00:20:52,638 --> 00:20:55,209 ♪ ♪ 595 00:20:55,309 --> 00:20:58,850 - ♪ We'll always have the train-sion ♪ 596 00:21:02,457 --> 00:21:03,960 - We didn't know Alistair long--hell, 597 00:21:03,993 --> 00:21:05,697 we barely knew him at all-- but he gave us something 598 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,668 even more valuable than a train-sion, 599 00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,072 and that is a bond that will last a lifetime. 600 00:21:10,172 --> 00:21:11,407 To Alistair! 601 00:21:11,509 --> 00:21:13,478 all: To Alistair! 602 00:21:15,282 --> 00:21:17,921 [all screaming] 603 00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:22,163 - I can do the fandango! 604 00:21:22,196 --> 00:21:24,167 - [grunting] 605 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,037 - [yelping] 606 00:21:26,037 --> 00:21:27,206 - Mm, delicious. 607 00:21:27,306 --> 00:21:28,476 Great memorial, everyone. 608 00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:30,680 Well, back to work. 609 00:21:36,258 --> 00:21:37,928 - Bento.