1 00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:04,745 - And the final stop on our little private tour 2 00:00:04,747 --> 00:00:08,582 is an exhibit devoted to Grimsburg's biggest industry-- 3 00:00:08,734 --> 00:00:09,824 murder. 4 00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,401 [thunder booming] 5 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:14,829 Jeff the Ripper, the Deathguard, 6 00:00:14,998 --> 00:00:17,257 Killex, featuring DJ Khaled. 7 00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:19,092 Notice a pattern here? 8 00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:20,427 They're all men. 9 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:23,413 And yet women make up half of our population. 10 00:00:23,415 --> 00:00:25,840 - Look, if you're trying to murder my sausage 11 00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:27,584 on this date, it's working. 12 00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:28,585 Ooh! 13 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,528 An empty one! 14 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:30,696 I'm going in. 15 00:00:30,923 --> 00:00:31,846 Look at me! 16 00:00:31,924 --> 00:00:33,014 Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! 17 00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:34,033 [cackles] 18 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,683 Whose exhibit is this? 19 00:00:35,761 --> 00:00:37,494 - It's mine. 20 00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:42,857 - How can it be yours if I'm the one inside the box 21 00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:44,618 that's rapidly filling up with gas? 22 00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:48,789 - Because I'm a killer, and I'm killing you to make the point 23 00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,440 that women-- you know what? 24 00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:51,625 Forget it. 25 00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,277 - If you think this is gonna get me to go out 26 00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:57,948 with you again, I just might. 27 00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:00,875 [dramatic music] 28 00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:07,983 ♪ 29 00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,393 [glass shatters] 30 00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,486 [birds chirping] 31 00:01:19,638 --> 00:01:21,396 - Look, Harm, I appreciate you letting me 32 00:01:21,473 --> 00:01:23,490 move into the basement after I abandoned the family 33 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,325 to pursue my talent for alcoholism. 34 00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:27,086 But how can I fix things with you and Stan 35 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:28,495 if I'm not welcome upstairs? 36 00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:30,672 I would do anything to change your mind. 37 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:38,246 And when I say anything, I mean most things. 38 00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:39,840 Stan, to your room! 39 00:01:39,916 --> 00:01:41,341 [kissing] 40 00:01:41,418 --> 00:01:44,177 - I gave you two simple rules when you moved back in. 41 00:01:44,254 --> 00:01:46,254 One, stay in the basement, 42 00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:50,609 and two, no Vin Diesel movie nights. 43 00:01:50,794 --> 00:01:52,686 OK, fan club's over! 44 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:54,596 - It's not a fan club. 45 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:55,930 It's a family. 46 00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,691 all: Family. 47 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,042 - Out. 48 00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:00,268 - Look, I need to be allowed upstairs. 49 00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:02,012 That's where my family is. - Family. 50 00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:03,847 - And the good bathroom with the magazines 51 00:02:03,849 --> 00:02:05,940 I'd never buy myself but whose advice I've come to rely on. 52 00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:07,517 - I'm doing this for Stan. 53 00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,369 He doesn't need a father who runs off every time he 54 00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:12,780 can't crack a case or has a bad experience at a four-way stop. 55 00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:14,024 - But I've changed. 56 00:02:14,026 --> 00:02:15,192 Now I just close my eyes and floor it. 57 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,527 - You say you've changed, but you never change. 58 00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:19,196 So you're not coming upstairs until you 59 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,305 can change that and prove you've 60 00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:22,199 actually changed for a change. 61 00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:23,717 Now, I got to go change. 62 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,310 The "Grimsburg's Got Talent Talent Show" is coming up, 63 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,730 and I'm competing to be a judge. 64 00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:32,818 - Family. 65 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:35,762 - Wow, how do you clog a bucket? 66 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,364 [bell rings] 67 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,242 - Think fast! 68 00:02:41,069 --> 00:02:42,903 OK, not a sports kid. 69 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,814 - Finished my art project, Mr. Flesh. 70 00:02:46,892 --> 00:02:48,316 - Ha-ha! 71 00:02:48,394 --> 00:02:51,077 Look who made a picture frame for his divorced parents 72 00:02:51,154 --> 00:02:53,172 to remind them of the good ol' days. 73 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:55,081 - I thought it might help. 74 00:02:55,158 --> 00:02:56,508 - When you gonna get it 75 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,902 through your thick skull, Stan, huh? 76 00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,995 You can't fix them! 77 00:03:01,073 --> 00:03:02,830 - Tyge Hilden, 78 00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:06,243 your parents are here to give you a hug, just because. 79 00:03:06,336 --> 00:03:09,021 - You got lucky today, Stan. 80 00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:13,250 Almost as lucky as I did being born to parents who make love 81 00:03:13,252 --> 00:03:15,936 seem uncomplicated. 82 00:03:15,938 --> 00:03:17,087 I said almost. 83 00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:19,364 [laughter] 84 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,202 - Let's rip out their spines and slurp 'em like spaghetti, 85 00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:25,095 "Lady and the Tramp"-style! 86 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:28,265 - Or we could prove them wrong by getting 87 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,783 my parents back together. 88 00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:31,043 - Fine. 89 00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:32,118 But now, we've got to get some chow, 90 00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,695 because now I'm craving pasta. 91 00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:35,297 Or dogs. 92 00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:37,607 - The victim is Hort Jomes, 93 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,367 won the talent show two years ago. 94 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:41,795 He swallowed three swords and his trophy. 95 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,056 Turns out it was more of a compulsion than a talent. 96 00:03:44,283 --> 00:03:45,966 - I miss swallowing. 97 00:03:45,968 --> 00:03:47,451 - This talent show again? 98 00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:49,711 It's like that's all anyone can talk or murder about. 99 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:52,289 Time to see what my Crime Mind is recommending for us... 100 00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,292 recommending for us, recommending for us... 101 00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:57,569 [remote control clicking] 102 00:03:57,755 --> 00:03:58,386 [screen chimes] 103 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,631 [eerie electronic music] 104 00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:02,816 ♪ ♪ 105 00:04:03,135 --> 00:04:04,634 If we figure out the motive, we can catch the killer. 106 00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:06,987 Oh! Do these bikes have any suspension? 107 00:04:07,155 --> 00:04:09,581 - The killerth diorama wath in the thenter of the room 108 00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:11,083 to get our atthenshun. 109 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,234 - So the killer feels they're not being recognized, and-- 110 00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:14,160 [in high-pitched voice] Ah, yep! 111 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,328 That ball is inside me now. 112 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,314 - And what better way to express 113 00:04:17,332 --> 00:04:18,999 your displeasure with how society 114 00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:20,834 recognizes talent than by-- 115 00:04:20,836 --> 00:04:21,927 - Killing talent show... 116 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:22,928 [in normal voice] Winners. 117 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,596 It dropped. Thanks. 118 00:04:24,673 --> 00:04:26,298 Ugh, I miss the '80s. 119 00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,116 Enjoy Michael Jackson while you can, 120 00:04:28,193 --> 00:04:29,843 but don't hang out with him. 121 00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:31,328 Well, you could. 122 00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,087 - [screams] 123 00:04:33,181 --> 00:04:35,181 Wynona, seen any other talent show winners 124 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,424 in the morgue recently? 125 00:04:36,502 --> 00:04:37,425 - [sniffing] 126 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,777 Actually, the winners from three, 127 00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:42,339 four, five, six, and seven years ago also died this week. 128 00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:44,174 Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier. 129 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,450 - OK, here's the plan. 130 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,360 He's coming for last year's winner next, 131 00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:48,936 and when that no-talent psychopath shows up, 132 00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:49,955 we'll be there. 133 00:04:50,182 --> 00:04:51,698 - Case closed. 134 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,199 Nice work, Wynona. 135 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,108 - What? 136 00:04:54,186 --> 00:04:55,460 No, it's-- ugh. 137 00:04:57,189 --> 00:04:58,112 - Heard you moved back home. 138 00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,372 How's it going with Harm? 139 00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:00,357 - Until I can prove I've changed, 140 00:05:00,359 --> 00:05:01,633 I'm trapped in the basement. 141 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,859 But how's she gonna know I changed if she never sees me? 142 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:04,786 - I'm trapped in a basement all day. 143 00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:08,198 But I'm surrounded by corpses, so it's not as bad. 144 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,474 - Well, then you need to see Harmony 145 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,793 outside the house to prove to her you've changed. 146 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:12,869 - Good idea, Kang. 147 00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,313 You're like a walking toilet magazine. 148 00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:18,633 - [laughs] Oh, you always give the best advice. 149 00:05:18,727 --> 00:05:20,819 - Well, I give good advice too. 150 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,322 Flute, your pants are too tight. 151 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,366 - I won't apologize for having drip. 152 00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:29,644 [horn fanfare] 153 00:05:29,721 --> 00:05:32,980 - Welcome to the annual "Grimsburg's Got Talent" 154 00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:35,316 Talent Competition Judging Competition, 155 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,836 a contest to pick the judges to judge the contest. 156 00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:39,654 I know. It is confusing. 157 00:05:39,731 --> 00:05:41,565 But the rules are the rules, my friends, 158 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,175 and they were written by a nine-year-old 159 00:05:43,402 --> 00:05:45,085 who won another contest to write those rules. 160 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:47,087 That's Grimsburg, baby! 161 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,663 - What are you doing here? 162 00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:50,240 - I figured maybe this dumb, stupid talent show isn't 163 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,017 so stupid, dumb after all. 164 00:05:52,244 --> 00:05:53,910 I guess you could say I've chan-- 165 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:55,020 [cannon booms] 166 00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:58,748 [dramatic percussive music] 167 00:05:58,842 --> 00:06:00,192 This event makes sense. 168 00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,935 A judge needs to be physically fit so we're racing. 169 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:03,269 - [growls] - And you are running, 170 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,772 but like a bear, because you were raised by bears! 171 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,940 - [growls] 172 00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:08,367 - Oh, I get it! 173 00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:10,427 A good judge must make lightning-quick decisions 174 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:12,445 while balancing between being a Simon Cowell 175 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,357 and whatever pop diva is trying to land a Vegas residency. 176 00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:17,951 Pogo-sticking-- 177 00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:19,694 - [growls] 178 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:20,787 [loud explosions] 179 00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:22,381 --through the old minefield? 180 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,276 All right, well, this is just a Squid Game. 181 00:06:26,369 --> 00:06:28,202 - And it looks like we have our three judges. 182 00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:31,781 As always, Harmony Flute, town dry-cleaner Skid Marcus, 183 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,059 and Marvin Flute! 184 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,468 OK, back to "Fortnite." 185 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,955 - Oh, it's gonna be so fun judging together. 186 00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:40,290 - Fun? 187 00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:42,401 Everywhere you go, crime follows. 188 00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:44,552 - Uh, you say that like it's not super cool. 189 00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:47,647 - You turned our son's birth into a sting operation. 190 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,074 - How do you think I feel? 191 00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:51,301 You turned my sting operation into Stan's birth. 192 00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:52,986 Besides, that was the old me. 193 00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:54,061 I can turn it off. 194 00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:55,580 [snaps] There. It's off. 195 00:06:55,657 --> 00:06:58,825 - Mm-hmm, then what are you doing right now? 196 00:06:58,827 --> 00:06:59,918 - Uh, not crime stuff. 197 00:07:00,145 --> 00:07:01,661 Have a nice day, Squiggles. 198 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:02,996 You'll see I've changed. 199 00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:04,164 I'm not gonna let work interfere at all 200 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,498 with the two of us judging. [crowd screaming] 201 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,743 - Hey! That clown is killing everyone he sees! 202 00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,278 [crowd screaming] 203 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,172 - People are literally screaming with excitement 204 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,224 about us judging together. 205 00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:20,588 [jazzy music] 206 00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:23,257 ♪ ♪ 207 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,001 - Commencing Operation Undercover Talent 208 00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:26,503 Show Winner Stakeout, over. 209 00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,930 - Handsome Falcon is on the beach, over. 210 00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:30,356 - We did not agree to code names. 211 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,433 - You're breaking up there, Wet Blanket. 212 00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:34,010 How's our insurance agent doing? 213 00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:35,345 Any sign of the killer, Jake? 214 00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:37,013 - Hard to say. 215 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:38,515 I've been busy trying to bundle someone's home and auto plans. 216 00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,292 - Hey, Flute, aren't you supposed to be getting 217 00:07:40,368 --> 00:07:41,626 ready for the talent show? - It's fine. 218 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,462 I'll catch the killer, wrap this up, 219 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,021 be over there in plenty of time to give a young performer 220 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:46,206 a reality check. 221 00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:48,115 Made out to "you suck" in the amount 222 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:49,301 of "never gonna make it" dollars 223 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,803 and 42 cents from the Bank of Failure. 224 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,454 Memo line, "give up." 225 00:07:53,623 --> 00:07:55,140 Routing number-- - Flute! 226 00:07:55,217 --> 00:07:57,534 Got something for you. 227 00:07:57,536 --> 00:07:59,869 Back when my dead wife was my alive wife, 228 00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,054 she hated the job too. 229 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,630 So I started taking DetectOff. 230 00:08:02,724 --> 00:08:05,725 One pill shuts off detective brain for up to 12 hours. 231 00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:09,303 - Flute, are you happy with your life insurance policy? 232 00:08:09,397 --> 00:08:11,881 Because someone's behind you with a knife! 233 00:08:11,883 --> 00:08:13,566 [dramatic music] 234 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,718 - Freeze! 235 00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:15,660 Ah, damn. 236 00:08:15,887 --> 00:08:17,979 ♪ ♪ 237 00:08:18,073 --> 00:08:19,831 - You're under arrest. 238 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,166 Ma'am? 239 00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,893 My apologies, we clearly made a mistake here. 240 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:25,152 On your way, milady. 241 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,412 - Thanks, m'turd. - What? 242 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,064 No! She had a knife! 243 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,674 - K, you see where that knife went? 244 00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:34,554 - Aw, man, I just bought this parka six years ago. 245 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,016 - Now to try some of that sensitivity training 246 00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:39,576 I slept through. 247 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:41,353 You rarely hear about women in the serial killer game. 248 00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,188 I mean, uh, not that you can't kill, 249 00:08:43,415 --> 00:08:45,357 because you can-- and did, very well, I might add. 250 00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:47,192 Everyone you killed is quite dead, so good on you. 251 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,860 Equality. Suffrage. 252 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,420 You know, your body. Rachel Maddow. 253 00:08:50,438 --> 00:08:52,756 I'm an ally. - Gee. Thanks. 254 00:08:52,774 --> 00:08:55,850 While there have been plenty of female serial killers, 255 00:08:55,927 --> 00:08:58,036 there wasn't one in that exhibit. 256 00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,520 Well, I'm out to change that. 257 00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,022 - Hey, I'm all for shattering traditional 258 00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:02,448 female stereotypes. 259 00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:03,950 For starters, can we turn the AC off? 260 00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,268 Because I'm freezing. 261 00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:07,045 [phone chimes] Oh, hey, Harm. 262 00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:08,271 - Of course you're late. 263 00:09:08,273 --> 00:09:09,939 I knew you'd never change. 264 00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:11,049 - No, I am not late. 265 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,276 I'm gonna be there in-- 266 00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:15,962 I made it in four minutes, barely broke any laws to do it. 267 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,113 - Marvin? 268 00:09:17,115 --> 00:09:19,206 Who's that? 269 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,226 - Oh, this is Anna, friend from not work. 270 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,802 The restraints are for her own protection. 271 00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:23,970 She's super clumsy. 272 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,289 - Augh, this is bad. 273 00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:29,292 We can't find our third judge, Skid Marcus. 274 00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:31,069 Maybe your friend here could fill in? 275 00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:33,146 - No, I don't think she should. 276 00:09:33,222 --> 00:09:34,297 - Why? 277 00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:37,075 Too many women in power for you, Flute? 278 00:09:37,302 --> 00:09:39,469 - What? Me? No, I love women in power. 279 00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:41,654 I voted for Hilary...Swank... in my Oscar pool. 280 00:09:41,823 --> 00:09:42,730 Let's have Anna judge. 281 00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:43,990 - Wonderful. 282 00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:45,825 If someone could help me out of this? 283 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,253 Oh, look, I did it myself. 284 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,314 [eerie music] 285 00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:52,148 ♪ ♪ 286 00:09:52,241 --> 00:09:53,407 [upbeat dance music] 287 00:09:53,485 --> 00:09:55,743 - And now, your Mastermind of Ceremonies, 288 00:09:55,837 --> 00:09:58,504 Grimsburg Middle's top teacher by way of Grimsburg 289 00:09:58,581 --> 00:10:01,766 Prison's most ill-conceived work-release program, 290 00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:04,418 Dr. Rufis Pentos. 291 00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:05,419 - What a night. 292 00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:07,439 I can feel the buzz in the air. 293 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:08,255 Wait! 294 00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:10,424 That's my ankle bracelet. 295 00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:11,517 [laughter] 296 00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:14,946 Let's meet our unacceptably all white judges. 297 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,264 Hashtag, do better. 298 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,951 - I'm Harmony Flute, and I know talent can come from 299 00:10:20,178 --> 00:10:21,953 anywhere-- even the humble cave, 300 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,180 where I grew up with a rock as my pillow 301 00:10:24,182 --> 00:10:25,531 and bears as my parents. 302 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:27,959 Thank you for your sympathy and your upcoming 303 00:10:28,036 --> 00:10:29,702 applause for my bravery. [applause] 304 00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:31,112 Oh! [laughs] 305 00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:33,798 - I'm Anna, and I hope the winner has 306 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:37,284 a talent that's...to die for. 307 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,638 Also, I'm a sucker for tap dancing. 308 00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:44,959 - What? Oh. Uh, hi! 309 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:47,962 I'm Detective Marvin Flute, and I'll be collecting evidence 310 00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:49,630 of who is the most talented. 311 00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:52,876 But not the usual evidence like carpet fibers, blood samples, 312 00:10:52,969 --> 00:10:54,969 gunpowder residue, or-- oh, semen. 313 00:10:55,063 --> 00:10:56,321 So much! 314 00:10:56,548 --> 00:10:58,156 Honestly, the first time you walk into a crime scene 315 00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:01,217 covered in it, you think, "Well, that happened." 316 00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,385 And then, by the 20th time, you're like, 317 00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:04,145 "What is wrong with people?" 318 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,664 And then by the 50th time, you're like, 319 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,375 "What is wrong with me?" 320 00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:12,562 - Let's get things started with our first act, 321 00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:15,489 Eddie the telepathic donkey, who will convince one of you 322 00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:19,326 in the audience to steal the Popemobile. 323 00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,495 [donkey brays] 324 00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:24,849 - I thought you said you could turn off the detective stuff. 325 00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:25,925 God, I should have known. 326 00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:27,410 You're just like James Corden. 327 00:11:27,412 --> 00:11:29,670 You ruin everything you touch. 328 00:11:29,748 --> 00:11:32,315 [donkey braying] 329 00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:39,589 - Yes, Eddie. 330 00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:41,658 I obey. 331 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,036 - What are we waiting in this line for? 332 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,039 - I'm going to sing a song. 333 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,708 - [laughs] You? 334 00:11:49,935 --> 00:11:50,950 Singing a song? 335 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,270 - Not "a song." My parents' favorite song. 336 00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:55,955 When it came on, no matter how mad they were, 337 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,440 everything changed. 338 00:11:57,442 --> 00:11:59,050 They'd send me to my room, and then I'd hear them 339 00:11:59,127 --> 00:12:00,443 move furniture around. 340 00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:01,886 Dad would get tired, but Mom would say, 341 00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:03,221 "Don't stop. Don't stop." 342 00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:04,464 And then once they rearrange it, 343 00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:06,299 she'd ask if that's how he liked it. 344 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:08,226 And he'd say, "I love that, mistress." 345 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,303 Obviously, he meant "mattress." And then-- 346 00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:12,138 - Stangello, you can't do this. 347 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,308 The Stable Boys will tear you apart. 348 00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:18,811 - Not if I tear my parents back together first. 349 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,814 [upbeat music] 350 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,466 ♪ ♪ 351 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,134 [applause] 352 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:28,229 - I'm not a big fan of coyotes, but I'm giving you 353 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:30,823 a "hibern-eight" out of "den!" 354 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,399 [laughs] Raised by bears. 355 00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:35,069 - Dancing is the lowest discipline of the arts. 356 00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:36,646 It's basically a weird way of walking, 357 00:12:36,648 --> 00:12:39,148 except you don't go anywhere, and your arms get tired. 358 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:40,407 But guess what. 359 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,427 I love your song choice, I love your costumes, 360 00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:44,745 and I love that your love is illegal in most states. 361 00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:46,155 It's a nine. 362 00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:47,265 [cheers and applause] 363 00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,268 [upbeat music] 364 00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:52,678 ♪ ♪ 365 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,773 [laughter] 366 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:58,518 ♪ 367 00:12:58,612 --> 00:12:59,685 [laughing] 368 00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:00,779 [both screaming] 369 00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,356 [cheers and applause] 370 00:13:03,358 --> 00:13:05,784 - That performance was hot, hot, hot! 371 00:13:06,011 --> 00:13:07,786 [cheers and applause] 372 00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:10,437 [upbeat music] 373 00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,532 - One day, that'll be my family. 374 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,960 - Yeah, sure, we get some zip ties and gags, 375 00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:17,611 and they're all yours! 376 00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:19,814 ♪ 377 00:13:19,816 --> 00:13:22,708 - [grunting] 378 00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:26,029 ♪ ♪ 379 00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:29,516 - I give it a "roller sk-nine!" 380 00:13:31,294 --> 00:13:33,870 - And our final performance tonight is... 381 00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,705 Stan Flute? 382 00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,874 [audience gasps] 383 00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:40,710 I think we found our loser. 384 00:13:40,879 --> 00:13:42,378 Is this on? It is. 385 00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:43,546 Good. 386 00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:45,639 I didn't want to have to repeat that. 387 00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,492 - You sure you don't want to wear a mask? 388 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,161 It might go better if they think you're Rudy Giuliani. 389 00:13:50,238 --> 00:13:53,331 [microphone feedback] 390 00:13:53,408 --> 00:13:56,759 - ♪ There's always that one person that ♪ 391 00:13:56,761 --> 00:13:59,562 - Oh, God, he's gonna live with me until he's 30. 392 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,564 - This is why I kept saying we should 393 00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:03,949 have those spinny chairs from "The Voice" and an open bar. 394 00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:06,085 - ♪ I did from the start ♪ 395 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,405 ♪ Know that you're that one for me ♪ 396 00:14:09,407 --> 00:14:14,093 ♪ It's clear for everyone to see, baby ♪ 397 00:14:14,095 --> 00:14:17,046 [audience booing] 398 00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:22,251 ♪ You will always be my boo ♪ 399 00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:24,678 [audience cheering] 400 00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:27,590 - ♪ Now I don't know about y'all, but I know about us ♪ 401 00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:30,535 - ♪ And it's the only way we know how to ride ♪ 402 00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:32,370 - ♪ My boo ♪ 403 00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:36,599 - ♪ I know we haven't seen each other in a while ♪ 404 00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:43,773 both: ♪ But you will always be my boo ♪ 405 00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:46,885 [cheers and applause] 406 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,613 - This year's talent show winner is... 407 00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:51,705 [dramatic music] 408 00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:55,184 Stan Flute! 409 00:14:57,455 --> 00:15:00,714 - I got to say, you didn't ruin this with your detective stuff 410 00:15:00,792 --> 00:15:01,807 like you normally do. 411 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,292 Maybe you have changed. 412 00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:04,885 - Looks like it might be time for someone to get 413 00:15:04,979 --> 00:15:06,629 upstairs pooping privileges. 414 00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:09,132 - Have either of you two no-longer-in-love-birds 415 00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:12,911 seen Anna or Stan? 416 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,228 And look at this. 417 00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:16,915 [mysterious music] 418 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,809 - Oh, I think we might have a problem. 419 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:20,977 - I want a divorce! 420 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,311 - Wait! 421 00:15:22,313 --> 00:15:24,330 We can still be a stable family! 422 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,648 - Save it, hack! 423 00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:26,999 You had a chance to keep this family together, 424 00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,760 and it was on stage! 425 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,265 - Uh, uh... - [sighs] 426 00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:37,160 So you brought a killer whose MO is she kills talent show 427 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,679 winners to the talent show, which our son won, 428 00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:40,939 and now she's kidnapped him. 429 00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:42,440 Congrats. 430 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,258 You're the grand marshall of the Dumb-Dumb parade. 431 00:15:44,352 --> 00:15:46,093 - Ooh, thanks. Do I get a sash? 432 00:15:46,171 --> 00:15:48,446 - Just do your Crime Mind thing 433 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,098 so we can wrap up this little Flute-scapade. 434 00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:54,101 - Uh, right. I'm on it. 435 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,788 [machine beeping, trilling] 436 00:15:57,532 --> 00:16:01,108 Uh, the Crime Mind is kind of offline. 437 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,277 - Oh, of course it is. 438 00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:04,462 Wait, look! 439 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,799 - The ground is sinking in similarly sized 440 00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:09,283 and spaced intervals. 441 00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:11,027 Neat! I'm gonna pee in them. 442 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,119 - Those are footprints, you idiot. 443 00:16:12,213 --> 00:16:13,304 What's wrong with you? - Right, right. 444 00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:15,122 - They must be Anna and Stan's. 445 00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:17,291 - OK, so here's what we're gonna do-- pee in them. 446 00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:18,367 You pee in the big ones, I'll go to the small. 447 00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:20,127 - No, we should follow them. 448 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,312 - Yes! Right. 449 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,207 Follow-- what, exactly? - The footprints! 450 00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:25,875 - Right. And we just pee wherever. 451 00:16:25,877 --> 00:16:27,059 - [sighs] 452 00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:30,304 [eerie music] 453 00:16:30,306 --> 00:16:31,397 ♪ 454 00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,549 - Just wait here, Mr. Talent Show winner. 455 00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:38,454 I need to pick up some knives for the, uh, awards ceremony. 456 00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:40,981 - Come to apologize? 457 00:16:41,075 --> 00:16:42,500 - Apologize? 458 00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:45,244 No, I came to tell you that lady's got more screws 459 00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:46,912 loose than that steering column 460 00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:48,822 I loosened all the screws on to get you 461 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:49,990 out of that field trip. 462 00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,492 Now, let's get out of here. 463 00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:53,494 - You just can't stand when I succeed. 464 00:16:53,588 --> 00:16:55,162 My parents are almost back together. 465 00:16:55,256 --> 00:16:57,015 My plan is working, and nobody had 466 00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,182 to get hurt or lose their class B 467 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,092 commercial bus driver's license. 468 00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:01,686 - Who were you talking to? 469 00:17:03,097 --> 00:17:07,099 - Just a big old bag of nobody. 470 00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:10,844 [eerie music] 471 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:14,198 [bird caws] 472 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,425 - The footprints stop here. 473 00:17:16,594 --> 00:17:18,870 [sniffs] 474 00:17:18,946 --> 00:17:20,663 [growls] 475 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:28,588 ♪ 476 00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:31,883 - Hmm. 477 00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,885 - Flute! Skid Marcus is in here! 478 00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:36,295 - Finally! I've been here for days. 479 00:17:36,372 --> 00:17:37,963 I know exactly where Anna is. 480 00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,466 - Clam it, dirtbag! 481 00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:42,894 - What the hell? Why would you do that? 482 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,413 - I don't know. 483 00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:46,564 I thought I could change, but I couldn't. 484 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:49,125 So I took some DetectOff to make you think I did. 485 00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:51,460 I needed drugs, because you're right about me. 486 00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:53,813 I'm a one-trick pony, just like that donkey 487 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,222 that did that one trick. 488 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,724 Wait, what's the difference between a pony and a donkey? 489 00:17:57,802 --> 00:17:58,634 Is one gay? 490 00:17:58,636 --> 00:18:00,136 - So you took the drugs for me? 491 00:18:00,305 --> 00:18:03,306 That's so-- sweet. 492 00:18:03,308 --> 00:18:05,991 The old you only took drugs for you, 493 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:09,312 which means maybe you've changed. 494 00:18:09,314 --> 00:18:11,422 - Yes! I told you! In your face! Sorry! 495 00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:12,832 The competitive part of me still needs 496 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,833 a little bit of work. 497 00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:14,926 You loser! 498 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,669 [chuckles] Sorry, again. 499 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,154 [gasps] 500 00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:19,155 I know where she went. 501 00:18:19,157 --> 00:18:20,414 I solved it, even on DetectOff! 502 00:18:20,508 --> 00:18:21,340 Ah! 503 00:18:21,342 --> 00:18:22,675 Your mom could go suck a butt! 504 00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:24,519 I'm so sorry. 505 00:18:26,164 --> 00:18:28,755 [suspenseful music] 506 00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,274 - While I'm sorry you have to die, 507 00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:33,352 if I can inspire just one girl to believe she can kill 508 00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:35,688 as good as a man, your horrifying death 509 00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:37,532 will be worth it. 510 00:18:39,344 --> 00:18:41,268 - Did you come here to gloat? 511 00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,788 - I have a better idea. 512 00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,364 If we're gonna go down, 513 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,125 we're gonna go down together, 514 00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,442 like Bonnie and Clyde, 515 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,686 or Thelma and Louise, or Thelma and Louise 516 00:18:50,821 --> 00:18:52,855 in that deleted scene. 517 00:18:52,857 --> 00:18:53,798 - Mr. Flesh? 518 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,466 - Yes, Stan and Deliver? 519 00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,117 - I should have listened to you. 520 00:18:57,211 --> 00:18:59,695 I know all my therapists say you're pretend, 521 00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:03,641 but you're the only real friend I've ever had. 522 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,722 Are you crying? 523 00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:10,815 - Oh, what? 524 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,224 No. 525 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,710 [chuckles] Come on, crying is for babies 526 00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:17,971 and YouTube videos of soldiers coming home to their dogs. 527 00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:20,524 [sobbing] Their sweet, sweet dogs. 528 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,552 - Ladies and gentlemen, for too long 529 00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:25,646 Grimsburg has refused to recognize 530 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,332 the strides women have made in the art of death-- 531 00:19:28,559 --> 00:19:32,395 sociopaths like Cyanide Cindy, the Lawnmower Ma'am, 532 00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,580 Jeffrey Dahm-her, Princess Die-- 533 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:37,733 that's D-I-E-- they all had to endure having 534 00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,826 their grisly work overlooked. 535 00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:41,904 Tonight that ends. 536 00:19:41,906 --> 00:19:44,198 [bell dings] 537 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,909 [dramatic music] 538 00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:47,927 - Family! 539 00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,245 I mean, freeze! 540 00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:51,914 - You may have found me, but you can't stop me 541 00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:52,839 from killing the winner. 542 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,417 - Maybe not. 543 00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:56,252 But you should know, Stan's not the winner. 544 00:19:56,254 --> 00:19:57,420 - What? - [gasps] 545 00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,421 [all gasp] 546 00:19:58,589 --> 00:20:00,031 - The talent show rule book clearly states 547 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,899 that contestants may not be related to any judge 548 00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:03,201 due to a conflict of interest. 549 00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:06,111 Therefore, our son, Stan, is disqualified. 550 00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:07,854 But there is a winner. 551 00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:09,598 You. 552 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,116 - After everything you did to get here, 553 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,786 you are truly Grimsburg's most talented. 554 00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:14,787 We see you. 555 00:20:14,956 --> 00:20:15,955 - I did it! 556 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,050 I'm the talent show winner! 557 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:22,795 But I kill talent show winners. 558 00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:24,889 All of them. 559 00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:26,298 [knife clangs] 560 00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:30,803 - But we appreciate the strides you've made for women. 561 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:31,971 - Thank God! 562 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,622 I don't want to die any-- 563 00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,524 [screams] 564 00:20:38,129 --> 00:20:39,553 - Family. - Seriously? 565 00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:40,238 Gas money? 566 00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:41,739 You only drove us three blocks. 567 00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:42,798 [engine turning over] 568 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,325 [engine revving] 569 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,486 Whoa, that flying car just landed on a plane, 570 00:20:47,488 --> 00:20:51,140 and it landed on a cloud, and the cloud is a rocket! 571 00:20:51,142 --> 00:20:52,324 You know what? 572 00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:54,418 That's still more realistic than "Furious 7." 573 00:20:57,148 --> 00:20:58,330 - Hell of a voice, child boy. 574 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,258 You know, I used to sing myself 575 00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:01,834 before I realized it was illegal for detectives 576 00:21:01,836 --> 00:21:02,835 to be artistic. 577 00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,262 - Wow. 578 00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:06,155 Should we all have some ice cream at home? 579 00:21:06,248 --> 00:21:07,748 - That would be great. 580 00:21:07,842 --> 00:21:10,685 Maybe you could leave a bowl at the top of the stairs for me. 581 00:21:13,514 --> 00:21:15,982 - From now on, you can come upstairs. 582 00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:18,109 [glasses clanking] 583 00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:21,261 - What do you mean there's a split plate charge? 584 00:21:21,339 --> 00:21:23,005 - Uh, we should go. 585 00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:24,765 [donkey braying] 586 00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:25,649 Hey, wait! 587 00:21:25,726 --> 00:21:28,177 [screaming] 588 00:21:28,179 --> 00:21:31,122 Seeing it now, he definitely should have won. 589 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,502 - Bento.