1 00:00:00,894 --> 00:00:02,227 - MAN: ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:03,397 --> 00:00:08,934 - [angelic vocalizing] 3 00:00:12,773 --> 00:00:15,741 - Oh, hey, darlings. I didn't see you there. 4 00:00:15,743 --> 00:00:18,910 Just Michelle Visage here enjoying a cozy night in, 5 00:00:18,912 --> 00:00:20,312 sitting by the fire, 6 00:00:20,314 --> 00:00:22,814 sipping on a brand-sponsored cocktail, 7 00:00:22,816 --> 00:00:27,219 and cracking open one of my favorite holiday classics. 8 00:00:27,221 --> 00:00:30,522 It's a story that's full of holiday spirit, 9 00:00:30,524 --> 00:00:33,592 filled with quirky small-town characters, 10 00:00:33,594 --> 00:00:38,296 and banned in 32 countries for being, quote, "too gay." 11 00:00:38,298 --> 00:00:40,832 So kick your boots off, grab yourself a drink-- 12 00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,100 if there's anything left-- 13 00:00:42,102 --> 00:00:44,002 and enjoy a tale that begins 14 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:46,138 like all other Christmas stories: 15 00:00:46,140 --> 00:00:50,208 with sweeping shots of New York City. 16 00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:52,210 - ♪ La-la, la-la, la ♪ 17 00:00:53,447 --> 00:00:55,380 ♪ La-la, la-la, la ♪ 18 00:00:55,382 --> 00:00:57,916 ♪ Is my favorite holiday ♪ 19 00:00:57,918 --> 00:01:02,621 [electronic beats] 20 00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:14,900 - MICHELLE: Twas the week before Christmas 21 00:01:14,902 --> 00:01:16,301 and all through New York, 22 00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:18,470 everyone was feeling the spirit, 23 00:01:18,472 --> 00:01:20,872 except one lady hard at work. 24 00:01:24,611 --> 00:01:26,545 - [ding] 25 00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:29,247 - Take this up to publishing, size 80 headline. 26 00:01:29,249 --> 00:01:30,782 Something splashy like, 27 00:01:30,784 --> 00:01:32,784 "Twelve Skirts That Say I'm a Slut, 28 00:01:32,786 --> 00:01:34,786 but I Kind of Know Math." 29 00:01:34,788 --> 00:01:36,922 - [gasps, laughs] 30 00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:39,424 - [indistinct chatter] 31 00:01:39,426 --> 00:01:42,260 - Hey, queen. - Tristan. 32 00:01:42,262 --> 00:01:44,729 Is that my favorite gay coworker? 33 00:01:44,731 --> 00:01:47,165 - Does this answer your question? 34 00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:49,401 - Ah, it's so gay! I love it. 35 00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:51,703 - It's almost like it's my entire personality. 36 00:01:51,705 --> 00:01:52,671 - BOTH: [laughing] 37 00:01:52,673 --> 00:01:54,739 - So, any plans for the holidays? 38 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:57,876 - Oh, you know me. I'll be working the whole time. 39 00:01:57,878 --> 00:02:00,979 The only thing I'll be opening on Christmas is my emails. 40 00:02:00,981 --> 00:02:03,114 - Girl, do you not have any family or friends 41 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:04,816 to spend the holidays with? 42 00:02:04,818 --> 00:02:06,685 - Well, I have you, right? You're my friend. 43 00:02:06,687 --> 00:02:09,287 - No, babe. I'm your gay coworker. 44 00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:11,089 I'm just here to blindly support you 45 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:14,159 and recite catchphrases that I learned from black women. 46 00:02:14,161 --> 00:02:15,994 Wig. 47 00:02:15,996 --> 00:02:18,330 - Well, I'm trying to look good for the promotion. 48 00:02:18,332 --> 00:02:20,198 - You mean... 49 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,500 - BOTH: Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief. 50 00:02:22,502 --> 00:02:24,035 - Ah, you're totally gonna get it. 51 00:02:24,037 --> 00:02:25,804 You are, like, the Joan Didion 52 00:02:25,806 --> 00:02:28,707 of telling people to wear scarves as shirts. 53 00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:31,543 - Well, I just hope Hannah thinks so. 54 00:02:31,545 --> 00:02:35,447 - HANNAH: Olivia! In my office now! 55 00:02:35,449 --> 00:02:37,148 - Wish me luck. 56 00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:42,020 - [phone ringing] - [indistinct chatter] 57 00:02:42,022 --> 00:02:43,521 - HANNAH: Olivia! 58 00:02:43,523 --> 00:02:48,193 - ♪ 59 00:02:48,195 --> 00:02:49,895 - [sobs] 60 00:02:51,531 --> 00:02:57,168 - Someone please find me a new assistant! 61 00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:58,203 [sighs] 62 00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,504 - What did she do? 63 00:02:59,506 --> 00:03:00,805 - [sighs] I don't know. 64 00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:03,875 Something about chemo, taking off work. 65 00:03:03,877 --> 00:03:05,744 I don't know. Hah! 66 00:03:05,746 --> 00:03:07,979 Hey, listen, thanks for coming in. 67 00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:11,950 There's something exciting I'd like to discuss with you. 68 00:03:11,952 --> 00:03:15,220 Does the name "Tuckahoe" mean anything to you? 69 00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:17,289 - Is that, like, German for "big taco"? 70 00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:18,857 - [laughs] 71 00:03:20,394 --> 00:03:21,927 It's this little town that 72 00:03:21,929 --> 00:03:24,963 all the major rags are buzzing about. 73 00:03:24,965 --> 00:03:28,033 Apparently they're obsessed with the holidays. 74 00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:29,200 Hah, hah, hah! 75 00:03:29,202 --> 00:03:31,002 Makes me want to vomit. 76 00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:34,439 - So you want me to write an exposé on a Christmas town? 77 00:03:34,441 --> 00:03:36,574 - Dear girl. 78 00:03:36,576 --> 00:03:40,612 Readership numbers are down, Olivia. 79 00:03:40,614 --> 00:03:43,848 Everyone's saying that print journalism is dead. 80 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:47,018 Well, we need something controversial 81 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,888 to put us back on top. 82 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:54,893 Imagine it: nice little town, top of the naughty list. 83 00:03:54,895 --> 00:03:56,561 [laughs] 84 00:03:56,563 --> 00:04:00,165 I want you to go there and dig up some dirt-- 85 00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:02,067 covertly, of course. 86 00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:03,601 And most importantly, 87 00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:07,672 get your hands on this winter crown. 88 00:04:09,109 --> 00:04:13,745 - [gasps] Whoa. 89 00:04:13,747 --> 00:04:15,947 - HANNAH: Mesmerizing, isn't it? 90 00:04:15,949 --> 00:04:18,984 It's the grand prize at this silly little competition 91 00:04:18,986 --> 00:04:20,685 they throw every year. 92 00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:23,822 The ultimate winter accessory 93 00:04:23,824 --> 00:04:28,560 that will have the world reading this exposé. 94 00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:31,363 I want it on the cover, Olivia, 95 00:04:31,365 --> 00:04:35,033 of the annual Christmas issue. 96 00:04:35,035 --> 00:04:36,334 That's right-- 97 00:04:36,336 --> 00:04:39,404 - BOTH: The most important issue in fashion. 98 00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:41,006 - OLIVIA: Wait. 99 00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:43,141 How am I supposed to write about Christmas? 100 00:04:43,143 --> 00:04:44,776 I always spend it at work. 101 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,680 - All I'm saying is it would look pretty good for that 102 00:04:48,682 --> 00:04:50,615 promotion you've been eyeing? 103 00:04:50,617 --> 00:04:55,453 But if you don't wanna do it, I'll find someone who will. 104 00:04:55,455 --> 00:04:58,990 Maybe...Tristan. 105 00:04:58,992 --> 00:05:01,726 - TRISTAN: You are snatching my edges, sis! 106 00:05:01,728 --> 00:05:04,329 - If he ever gets around to doing work. 107 00:05:04,331 --> 00:05:05,730 - He's-- 108 00:05:05,732 --> 00:05:09,200 - Look, I'm gonna need an answer by tomorrow, okay? 109 00:05:15,409 --> 00:05:18,843 - MICHELLE: As Olivia sat there, she pondered and reminisced. 110 00:05:18,845 --> 00:05:23,848 Is Christmas a day she regrets to have Christ-missed? 111 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,850 - What do you think, Barbara? 112 00:05:25,852 --> 00:05:28,486 What do you do when you're at a crossroads? 113 00:05:28,488 --> 00:05:31,389 - Take the job, Olivia! 114 00:05:31,391 --> 00:05:32,957 - Barbara? 115 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:38,396 - All great lady journalists do anything to get the story. 116 00:05:38,398 --> 00:05:41,966 Ask tough questions. Go undercover. 117 00:05:46,606 --> 00:05:48,306 - OLIVIA: Go undercover, huh? 118 00:05:48,308 --> 00:05:58,616 - ♪ 119 00:05:58,618 --> 00:06:00,885 - Hannah? I'll do it. 120 00:06:00,887 --> 00:06:04,255 You'll have the exposé on your desk in a week. 121 00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:06,324 Goodbye, Olivia St. LaPelle. 122 00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:08,993 Hello, Maggie Zeen. 123 00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:15,967 - [triumphant Christmas music] 124 00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:30,281 - [folksy music] 125 00:06:33,487 --> 00:06:34,752 - Excuse me? 126 00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:38,056 Can you tell me where the Tuck'd Inn is? 127 00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:39,491 I'm here on business. 128 00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:41,059 - Christmas business? 129 00:06:41,061 --> 00:06:42,494 - Um, sure. 130 00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:45,997 - [bell rings] - [gasps] It's starting! 131 00:06:45,999 --> 00:06:47,699 - What's starting? 132 00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:50,201 - Really not from around here, are you? 133 00:06:52,906 --> 00:06:55,006 - ♪ The Christmas trees are on display ♪ 134 00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:57,041 ♪ And looking picture perfect ♪ 135 00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,977 ♪ It's coming from their college fund ♪ 136 00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:01,012 ♪ And definitely worth it ♪ 137 00:07:01,014 --> 00:07:02,981 - ♪ There's cookies in the oven ♪ 138 00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:05,116 - ♪ And Grandma in the kitchen ♪ 139 00:07:05,118 --> 00:07:07,318 - ♪ The snowball fights are mostly ice ♪ 140 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,521 ♪ But hey, that's just tradition ♪ 141 00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:11,689 - ♪ I met a man of mystery one day ♪ 142 00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,391 ♪ And been in love since ♪ 143 00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,160 ♪ He's from abroad and super hot ♪ 144 00:07:15,162 --> 00:07:17,595 - ♪ And definitely not a prince ♪ 145 00:07:17,597 --> 00:07:19,597 - ♪ There's mistletoe on every door ♪ 146 00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:21,566 ♪ And kissing without worries ♪ 147 00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:23,668 - ♪ Except for maybe one, which is ♪ 148 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:25,603 ♪ Whoever gave me herpes ♪ 149 00:07:25,605 --> 00:07:27,639 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 150 00:07:27,641 --> 00:07:29,807 ♪ There's magic in the air ♪ 151 00:07:29,809 --> 00:07:31,676 - ♪ And if you listen, you'll hear the children ♪ 152 00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:33,645 ♪ All caroling out in the square--shut up! ♪ 153 00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:35,713 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 154 00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,815 ♪ In case you didn't know ♪ 155 00:07:37,817 --> 00:07:42,053 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪ 156 00:07:43,757 --> 00:07:45,823 - ♪ We've got a kid with polio ♪ 157 00:07:45,825 --> 00:07:47,825 ♪ And look, he's got his crutches ♪ 158 00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:49,928 - ♪ I haven't felt my legs in years ♪ 159 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,930 ♪ But hey, it's got its blessings ♪ 160 00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:53,998 - ♪ A Christmas ghost, a talking dog ♪ 161 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,000 ♪ And look, it's Dolly Parton ♪ 162 00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:57,902 - ♪ I'm only here for this one part ♪ 163 00:07:57,904 --> 00:07:59,671 ♪ 'Cause I ain't been paid, darlin' ♪ 164 00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:01,639 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 165 00:08:01,641 --> 00:08:03,708 ♪ There's toys in every store ♪ 166 00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:05,643 - ♪ A chance to do something real creepy ♪ 167 00:08:05,645 --> 00:08:07,779 ♪ Outside a woman's door--hi ♪ 168 00:08:07,781 --> 00:08:09,681 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 169 00:08:09,683 --> 00:08:11,716 ♪ In case you didn't know ♪ 170 00:08:11,718 --> 00:08:15,954 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪ 171 00:08:15,956 --> 00:08:17,855 - ♪ I plan on finding ♪ 172 00:08:17,857 --> 00:08:19,991 ♪ What this town is hiding ♪ 173 00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:24,128 ♪ When I do, I know that the promotion will be mine ♪ 174 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,431 Why did I just sing that? Oh, pardon me. 175 00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:30,301 - [tapping] 176 00:08:30,303 --> 00:08:31,402 - DANCING HUSBANDS: Woo! 177 00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:36,474 - Those are your...husbands? - Mm-hmm. Why do you ask? 178 00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:37,875 - DANCING HUSBANDS: Woo! 179 00:08:37,877 --> 00:08:44,048 - ♪ 180 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,883 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 181 00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:47,986 ♪ It's kinda about God ♪ 182 00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:50,188 - In a consumer-capitalist commercial way that uses 183 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:51,956 religion as a façade. - OTHERS: Shut up! 184 00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,958 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas ♪ 185 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,994 ♪ In case you didn't know ♪ 186 00:08:55,996 --> 00:08:58,429 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 187 00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:00,565 ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 188 00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:01,799 - [all gasping, chattering] 189 00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,501 - It's Mayor Coont! 190 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:07,672 - [drumroll] 191 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,809 - [cymbals crash] 192 00:09:11,811 --> 00:09:14,612 - [cheers and applause] 193 00:09:14,614 --> 00:09:16,948 - Merry Christmas, Tuckahoe! 194 00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:18,883 - ♪ It's Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 195 00:09:18,885 --> 00:09:20,852 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 196 00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:22,854 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 197 00:09:22,856 --> 00:09:24,622 - [countrified] ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 198 00:09:24,624 --> 00:09:26,591 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka--hi ♪ 199 00:09:26,593 --> 00:09:28,860 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka... ♪ 200 00:09:29,696 --> 00:09:30,828 - Oh, sorry. 201 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,597 ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 202 00:09:32,599 --> 00:09:38,503 - ♪ Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪♪ 203 00:09:40,507 --> 00:09:41,973 - [applause] 204 00:09:41,975 --> 00:09:44,442 - [instrumental "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"] 205 00:09:44,444 --> 00:09:46,678 - Is that the mayor? - Coont. 206 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,246 - What did you just call me? 207 00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:50,148 - Mayor Coont? 208 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:53,951 - MAYOR COONT: Seasons tidings, my town! 209 00:09:53,953 --> 00:09:57,021 Tomorrow marks a very special day. 210 00:09:57,023 --> 00:10:00,591 It's the first day of our annual Winter Ball! 211 00:10:00,593 --> 00:10:03,661 - [cheers and applause] 212 00:10:03,663 --> 00:10:05,997 - Now, I don't need to tell you how it works, 213 00:10:05,999 --> 00:10:10,702 but I will anyway just in case somebody comes from out of town 214 00:10:10,704 --> 00:10:12,770 on Christmas business or something. 215 00:10:12,772 --> 00:10:16,407 The ball. The ball is a weeklong, 216 00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:20,244 multi-part competition to judge 217 00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:25,750 what street in town embodies the holiday spirit the most. 218 00:10:25,752 --> 00:10:29,053 - [cheers and applause] 219 00:10:29,055 --> 00:10:34,258 - Delia, the crown, please. 220 00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:35,393 - Work it, girl! 221 00:10:35,395 --> 00:10:36,761 - [sighs] 222 00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:38,262 Gonna miss sleeping in this little number. 223 00:10:38,264 --> 00:10:39,630 - [laughter] 224 00:10:39,632 --> 00:10:40,965 - As Delia Von Whitewoman, 225 00:10:40,967 --> 00:10:43,534 the head housewife of Kittenheel Court, 226 00:10:43,536 --> 00:10:46,938 and the winner of the last eleven winter balls, 227 00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:48,740 I just wanna say... 228 00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:50,475 it's just a silly little crown, 229 00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:53,244 and not something to plan your entire year/life around. 230 00:10:53,246 --> 00:10:55,012 - [laughter] 231 00:10:55,014 --> 00:10:57,415 - ["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" continues] 232 00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:01,986 - Let it go, Delia! 233 00:11:01,988 --> 00:11:03,588 - [Gollum-like] Or what? 234 00:11:03,590 --> 00:11:05,056 - [gasping, disturbed exclamations] 235 00:11:05,058 --> 00:11:08,326 - I mean, here you go, Mayor Coont. 236 00:11:08,328 --> 00:11:10,428 - What? Wow. 237 00:11:10,930 --> 00:11:14,232 - As our forefathers once ordained, 238 00:11:14,234 --> 00:11:18,569 no citizen shall see the crown before the final pageant, 239 00:11:18,571 --> 00:11:21,806 or else they will fall victim 240 00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:24,742 to the dreadful Tuckahoe Curse. 241 00:11:24,744 --> 00:11:26,077 - [gasping] - MAYOR COONT: Mm-hmm. 242 00:11:26,079 --> 00:11:27,845 I'm sure everyone here remembers 243 00:11:27,847 --> 00:11:29,781 what happened to Little Lennie, 244 00:11:29,783 --> 00:11:31,883 our local polio child. 245 00:11:31,885 --> 00:11:33,151 - Little Lennie! 246 00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:37,188 - Russ, could you please lock this away? 247 00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:40,925 All right. 248 00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:43,661 Tuckahoe, start your engines, 249 00:11:43,663 --> 00:11:47,498 and may the best housewife win! 250 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,534 - [cheering] 251 00:11:49,536 --> 00:11:55,339 - [horn and drum fanfare] 252 00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:57,008 - Bitches! 253 00:11:57,010 --> 00:12:00,378 - [shouting, laughter] 254 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,280 - [indistinct chatter] 255 00:12:05,852 --> 00:12:08,085 - Oh! 256 00:12:08,087 --> 00:12:09,086 Oops! 257 00:12:09,088 --> 00:12:11,255 - Oh my god! I'm so sorry. 258 00:12:11,257 --> 00:12:12,457 - No worries! 259 00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:14,592 I'm--I'm sure it will come out in the wash. 260 00:12:14,594 --> 00:12:16,194 Can you hold this? 261 00:12:16,196 --> 00:12:18,062 - [angelic choir sings] 262 00:12:19,899 --> 00:12:25,436 - [sultry music playing] 263 00:12:25,438 --> 00:12:27,138 - [gasps] - Hey, Mack? 264 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:28,840 Could you take the crown to that secret location 265 00:12:28,842 --> 00:12:31,008 nobody knows about? - Oh-- 266 00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:33,845 - Sorry about that. 267 00:12:33,847 --> 00:12:37,048 Name's Big Russ. I'm the mayor's security. 268 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:39,383 - Maggie. Uh, Maggie Zeen. 269 00:12:39,385 --> 00:12:43,688 - Well, looks like I owe you another, uh... 270 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:45,022 Wait a second, is this coffee? 271 00:12:45,024 --> 00:12:47,625 - It is. It is coffee, yeah. 272 00:12:47,627 --> 00:12:49,861 I actually love coffee. 273 00:12:49,863 --> 00:12:52,797 - Well, you love coffee? That is crazy! 274 00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:55,733 'Cause I also love coffee. 275 00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:57,168 - Really? Oh my god, 276 00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,837 I've never met anyone else who loves coffee. 277 00:12:59,839 --> 00:13:01,239 [laughs giddly] 278 00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:03,174 I actually even have this saying in the morning: 279 00:13:03,176 --> 00:13:04,909 don't talk to me until I've had my-- 280 00:13:04,911 --> 00:13:07,178 - BOTH: --hot bean water. 281 00:13:11,451 --> 00:13:14,986 - Would you maybe wanna grab a cup with me? 282 00:13:14,988 --> 00:13:19,557 - Uh...I'm really busy with work. 283 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:23,628 But...maybe I'll see you around. 284 00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:28,099 - ♪ 285 00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:30,134 - Bye, Maggie Zeen. 286 00:13:32,906 --> 00:13:34,505 - Lost the scent of the crown. 287 00:13:34,507 --> 00:13:37,475 But fortunately, I have a reservation at the town inn. 288 00:13:37,477 --> 00:13:41,045 It's the perfect place to chat up the locals and get the scoop. 289 00:13:41,047 --> 00:13:43,381 Someone's bound to know where that crown is hiding. 290 00:13:43,383 --> 00:13:47,118 - [indistinct chatter, laughter] 291 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,387 - [yelps] - Oh my god! I'm sorry! 292 00:13:49,389 --> 00:13:51,322 I was just checking to see if you were on duty. 293 00:13:51,324 --> 00:13:54,559 - Ooh, girl, I thought you were that Annabelle doll! 294 00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:56,994 [sighs] Yeah, I'm on duty. 295 00:13:56,996 --> 00:14:00,131 [laughs] And I am happy to take you! 296 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,033 [laughs] Just so you know, 297 00:14:02,035 --> 00:14:04,302 I almost lost my license last week, 298 00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:06,070 but for nothin' serious. Huh! 299 00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:08,806 Judge used all this legal jargon. 300 00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:11,275 You know, like "vehicular manslaughter" 301 00:14:11,277 --> 00:14:13,411 or something like that, I don't know. 302 00:14:13,413 --> 00:14:15,479 Anyway, where you goin'? - The...Tuck'd Inn? 303 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,348 - Oh, I love that little hole in the wall. 304 00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:19,584 - Oh, yeah, yeah, the pictures online looked really quaint. 305 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:23,020 - No, there's literally a hole in the wall. 306 00:14:23,022 --> 00:14:24,922 Tried parallel parking? 307 00:14:24,924 --> 00:14:27,625 Hmph, backed right into the lobby. 308 00:14:27,627 --> 00:14:29,293 [laughs] Buckle up! 309 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:35,366 - Oh, your name is Bea Eep, like a car? 310 00:14:35,368 --> 00:14:38,569 - Nah, bitch, like a-- - [honks horn twice] 311 00:14:38,571 --> 00:14:39,637 - BEA EEP: Woo! 312 00:14:39,639 --> 00:14:41,839 - [loud crashing, clanking] 313 00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:43,774 - BEA EEP: Hold on. I know a shortcut. 314 00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:52,016 - MICHELLE: After many misturns and the cab breaking down, 315 00:14:52,018 --> 00:14:56,053 the two pulled up at dawn to a seedy edge of town. 316 00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:58,322 - [engine running] 317 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,660 - [tires screeching] - [loud crash] 318 00:15:02,662 --> 00:15:04,962 - [car horn honks] - BEA EEP: Who said my name? 319 00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:07,365 - [Bea Eep's car drives off] 320 00:15:14,073 --> 00:15:17,541 - Not from around here, are you? 321 00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:18,976 - [wind gusting] 322 00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,879 - Oh, uh, do you work here? 323 00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:26,784 - If by "here" you mean this alley, then yeah, I work here. 324 00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:28,853 - Oh, so you--you do construction? 325 00:15:28,855 --> 00:15:30,521 - If by "construction" you mean 326 00:15:30,523 --> 00:15:32,990 handling heavy pipes with my hands, 327 00:15:32,992 --> 00:15:35,359 then yeah, I do construction. 328 00:15:35,361 --> 00:15:38,629 - Oh, so you're a...plumber? 329 00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:40,431 - If by "plumber" you mean 330 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:43,100 sucking massive clogs out of people's holes, 331 00:15:43,102 --> 00:15:47,004 then yeah, I'm a plumber. 332 00:15:47,006 --> 00:15:48,773 - Oh, you're a whore. 333 00:15:48,775 --> 00:15:50,675 - Ooh, yeah, that's me! 334 00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:53,377 The name's Kitti. 335 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:55,146 Allow me. 336 00:15:55,148 --> 00:15:58,716 - [slow jazz music] 337 00:15:58,718 --> 00:16:01,919 - Oh, follow me, please. 338 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:03,220 Excuse me. 339 00:16:03,222 --> 00:16:05,589 Time for my morning cold potato offer. 340 00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:07,625 Boys! Good news! 341 00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:11,562 Just got back from the clinic clean as a whistle... 342 00:16:11,564 --> 00:16:13,230 that was just in someone's ass. 343 00:16:13,232 --> 00:16:17,201 [laughs] Come! We drink. 344 00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:19,170 - Oh, look at you! 345 00:16:19,172 --> 00:16:21,539 - [excited chatter] 346 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:24,775 - [slow jazz music continues] 347 00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:35,619 - [dings bell] 348 00:16:39,058 --> 00:16:40,725 - Hello? 349 00:16:43,496 --> 00:16:46,263 - [laughter, chatter in background] 350 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:51,168 - [rumbling, crash] 351 00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,871 - Woo! Oh! Hiya, gal pal. 352 00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:55,973 You checkin' in? - Are you okay? 353 00:16:55,975 --> 00:16:57,508 What--what were you doing up there? 354 00:16:57,510 --> 00:17:01,779 - Oh! I thought it'd be neat to install a fire pole. 355 00:17:01,781 --> 00:17:04,281 Turns out I forgot the pole. 356 00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:06,484 But there is a fire up there. 357 00:17:06,486 --> 00:17:08,486 Oh, I'll get to it later. 358 00:17:10,056 --> 00:17:13,090 Hazel Delashes. I run the inn-- 359 00:17:13,092 --> 00:17:16,227 well, when it isn't running away from me. 360 00:17:16,229 --> 00:17:18,829 - I have a reservation under Zeen. 361 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:20,631 First name, Maggie. 362 00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:22,533 - Maggie...Zeen? 363 00:17:22,535 --> 00:17:25,402 Well, like a magazine? [gasps] 364 00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:28,139 You're not one of those reporters from the big city, 365 00:17:28,141 --> 00:17:29,673 are ya? 366 00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:32,810 - No, of course not! 367 00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:35,713 No, I'm a... 368 00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:37,948 jar... 369 00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:41,051 nail... 370 00:17:41,053 --> 00:17:43,053 ...list. 371 00:17:43,055 --> 00:17:45,623 - A journalist? 372 00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:47,591 - -- ! 373 00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:51,295 - Like somebody who makes journals? 374 00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:53,564 - Yes! That! Oh, yeah! 375 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:57,201 - Why didn't you say so in the first place, girly? 376 00:17:57,203 --> 00:18:00,604 Journals are one of my top five favorite things. 377 00:18:00,606 --> 00:18:03,207 Let me show you to your room. 378 00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:05,609 - [keys jingling] 379 00:18:05,611 --> 00:18:07,211 - It's one of these. Come on. 380 00:18:10,266 --> 00:18:11,799 - HAZEL: Oh, son of a bisque! 381 00:18:13,236 --> 00:18:14,802 [sighs] 382 00:18:14,804 --> 00:18:16,203 - [creepy music] 383 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:18,873 - [gasps] Ooh! 384 00:18:25,114 --> 00:18:26,947 It's musty. 385 00:18:26,949 --> 00:18:29,450 - Mm, that's just me. 386 00:18:30,453 --> 00:18:31,552 - [loud squish] 387 00:18:31,554 --> 00:18:34,288 - Oh! Why is the mattress wet? 388 00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:36,857 - Didn't ya ask for the pirate theme? 389 00:18:36,859 --> 00:18:39,994 Arrgh! [laughs] 390 00:18:39,996 --> 00:18:41,795 It's probably pee. 391 00:18:41,797 --> 00:18:43,497 For pirate? 392 00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:49,403 - [stately music] 393 00:18:49,405 --> 00:18:53,340 - [laughter] 394 00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:55,442 - I thought so. Oh! 395 00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,977 - Ladies. - [clinks glass] 396 00:18:56,979 --> 00:18:59,813 - [indistinct chatter] 397 00:18:59,815 --> 00:19:01,549 - Ladies! - [glass shatters] 398 00:19:03,219 --> 00:19:04,985 - [rest of glass shatters] - Thank you all for coming 399 00:19:04,987 --> 00:19:07,521 to the Kittenheel Court Announcement Club, 400 00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:10,991 and for adhering to this month's theme: big hats. 401 00:19:10,993 --> 00:19:13,093 Remember, next month is little gloves, 402 00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:14,929 as suggested by Bernice. 403 00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,430 - [giggling] 404 00:19:16,432 --> 00:19:19,099 - Good suggestion. - Thank you, Bernice. 405 00:19:20,269 --> 00:19:22,369 Our first announcement, as you all know, 406 00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,705 is that tomorrow is the Winter Ball. 407 00:19:24,707 --> 00:19:26,941 I hope you all are well rested. 408 00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:29,343 - With the twins running around, fat chance. 409 00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:31,612 - [laughter] 410 00:19:31,614 --> 00:19:33,447 - That's funny, Lanette. 411 00:19:33,449 --> 00:19:35,883 Do you think this is something to laugh about? 412 00:19:35,885 --> 00:19:38,953 - It's just a joke. - Oh, I'm sorry. 413 00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:40,721 I didn't realize I had front-row tickets to 414 00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:43,357 "Lanette: Live at the Giggle Factory." 415 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,659 Please, tell another joke. 416 00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,428 - I don't have another joke. 417 00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:49,396 - Well, then what are you good for? 418 00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:52,299 Get out. And take your ugly hat with you. 419 00:19:52,301 --> 00:19:53,567 - [gasping] 420 00:19:54,971 --> 00:19:58,205 You look like a bargain bin Pippa Middleton. 421 00:19:58,207 --> 00:19:59,540 See you tomorrow, hon. 422 00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:00,641 - I think she went too far... 423 00:20:00,643 --> 00:20:03,410 - Now, where were we? Oh, I remember. 424 00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:05,112 Oh, Bertram! 425 00:20:05,114 --> 00:20:06,880 - [wheels clanking] 426 00:20:09,085 --> 00:20:11,752 - You all have met my husband, Bertram, 427 00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:14,588 the very rich owner of the local bank. 428 00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:17,825 And I couldn't be luckier to have found such a generous, 429 00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:21,629 open, and understanding prenup as ours. 430 00:20:21,631 --> 00:20:23,230 Isn't that right, Bertram? 431 00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:24,598 - Aww! - Aww! 432 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,368 - Bertram, stop. Not in front of everyone! 433 00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:28,469 Lights. 434 00:20:28,471 --> 00:20:30,070 - [laughter] 435 00:20:30,072 --> 00:20:32,439 - [indistinct chatter] 436 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:34,575 - Christmas Eve marks yet another year 437 00:20:34,577 --> 00:20:38,646 where Kittenheel Court takes home the crown. 438 00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:40,948 But I'd also like to announce that it will commence 439 00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:44,285 of the grand remodeling of downtown Tuckahoe! 440 00:20:44,287 --> 00:20:46,587 - [gasping, exclaiming] 441 00:20:46,589 --> 00:20:49,523 - With Bertram's help, we ladies of Kittenheel Court 442 00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:53,327 are going to turn this... 443 00:20:53,329 --> 00:20:56,363 into this. 444 00:20:56,365 --> 00:20:58,632 - [exclaiming] 445 00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,468 - No more hookers or wild dogs, 446 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:04,638 or that bedbug-infested Tuck'd Inn. 447 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,575 Now we'll have what we always dreamed of... 448 00:21:08,577 --> 00:21:10,511 the largest Cardigan Super Outlet 449 00:21:10,513 --> 00:21:12,313 in the tristate area! 450 00:21:12,315 --> 00:21:13,614 - [cheering, laughing] 451 00:21:17,219 --> 00:21:18,619 - Oh, crap! 452 00:21:18,621 --> 00:21:19,720 - MICHELLE: As Olivia walked through the bar 453 00:21:19,722 --> 00:21:21,555 in her cocktail skirt, 454 00:21:21,557 --> 00:21:24,992 she chatted up Hazel to dig up some dirt. 455 00:21:24,994 --> 00:21:28,228 - [surfer version of "It Came upon a Midnight Clear"] 456 00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:30,230 - I'll take a Manhattan. 457 00:21:30,232 --> 00:21:34,234 - You mean like that city where some people are from? 458 00:21:34,236 --> 00:21:37,671 - I mean a...cosmopolitan. 459 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:42,309 - You mean like the people that are from that city? 460 00:21:42,311 --> 00:21:43,911 - I'll take a water! 461 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:49,083 - Water, huh? 462 00:21:50,286 --> 00:21:51,819 Love that stuff. 463 00:21:51,821 --> 00:21:53,721 - I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were there. 464 00:21:53,723 --> 00:21:55,289 - No one ever does. 465 00:21:55,291 --> 00:21:59,226 I was actually diagnosed with chronic no personality disorder. 466 00:21:59,228 --> 00:22:03,897 No interests, no talents, no original ideas. 467 00:22:03,899 --> 00:22:07,334 Kind of like a background character in my own life. 468 00:22:07,336 --> 00:22:09,903 - Well, what do you want to do with your life? 469 00:22:09,905 --> 00:22:13,006 - Become an international pop star. 470 00:22:13,008 --> 00:22:14,842 I'm Jane McBeige. 471 00:22:14,844 --> 00:22:16,643 I deliver all the mail here in town. 472 00:22:16,645 --> 00:22:19,079 Well, until my big break. 473 00:22:19,081 --> 00:22:23,250 - Maggie. Say... 474 00:22:23,252 --> 00:22:28,455 if you deliver the mail, you must've heard about some 475 00:22:28,457 --> 00:22:30,023 scandals, corruption? 476 00:22:30,025 --> 00:22:31,959 Maybe where a certain crown is being kept? 477 00:22:31,961 --> 00:22:33,727 - [laughs] Doll, that crown 478 00:22:33,729 --> 00:22:36,463 is locked up tighter than my ex-husband. 479 00:22:36,465 --> 00:22:40,300 The only way of getting your hands on it is by winning it. 480 00:22:40,302 --> 00:22:43,937 - Oh, by the way, Hazel, you got another letter from the bank. 481 00:22:43,939 --> 00:22:46,173 - Well, it's probably about that loan. 482 00:22:46,175 --> 00:22:47,875 [chuckles] 483 00:22:48,878 --> 00:22:53,947 Oh no! Oh no, no, no! 484 00:22:53,949 --> 00:22:57,918 - What is it, Hazel? - It's an eviction notice. 485 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,923 It says they're gonna tear down the inn on Christmas Eve! 486 00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:05,759 - What? They can't do that! 487 00:23:05,761 --> 00:23:07,661 This is where I get all my work. 488 00:23:07,663 --> 00:23:10,864 - I'm so behind on the loan they're gonna... 489 00:23:10,866 --> 00:23:14,468 they're gonna bulldoze the inn in five days! 490 00:23:14,470 --> 00:23:15,903 - [customers exclaiming] 491 00:23:15,905 --> 00:23:18,172 - I guess that's just how banks work. 492 00:23:18,174 --> 00:23:19,740 - Oh, come on! 493 00:23:19,742 --> 00:23:21,875 There's got to be something we can do! 494 00:23:21,877 --> 00:23:23,844 - MICHELLE: But as Olivia sat there 495 00:23:23,846 --> 00:23:26,346 next to the Broads of Downtown, 496 00:23:26,348 --> 00:23:31,752 she had an idea, a way to get close to the crown. 497 00:23:31,754 --> 00:23:34,254 - What if you entered the Winter Ball? 498 00:23:34,256 --> 00:23:37,191 - Huh? - What? 499 00:23:37,193 --> 00:23:39,326 - [laughter] 500 00:23:39,328 --> 00:23:40,694 - No-- - Very funny. 501 00:23:40,696 --> 00:23:42,396 - Think about it. 502 00:23:42,398 --> 00:23:45,199 If you won the crown, the downtown would be named 503 00:23:45,201 --> 00:23:48,302 the most Christmassy street in Tuckahoe. 504 00:23:48,304 --> 00:23:51,138 There's no way the mayor would tear it down then. 505 00:23:51,140 --> 00:23:56,543 - [stutters] But how are we gonna beat Kittenheel Court? 506 00:23:56,545 --> 00:23:58,712 - You know what? 507 00:23:58,714 --> 00:23:59,713 - [exclaiming] 508 00:23:59,715 --> 00:24:02,216 - Oh my goodness. 509 00:24:02,218 --> 00:24:06,320 - I may just be a girl named Maggie who makes journals. 510 00:24:06,322 --> 00:24:07,788 But I can feel it. 511 00:24:07,790 --> 00:24:09,823 There is magic in this inn. 512 00:24:09,825 --> 00:24:10,824 - [creaking] 513 00:24:10,826 --> 00:24:14,394 - [loud crash] 514 00:24:14,396 --> 00:24:21,235 - ♪ 515 00:24:21,237 --> 00:24:23,737 - We need a leader if we are going to compete. 516 00:24:23,739 --> 00:24:28,542 And who is going to lead a bunch of busted-ass broads like us? 517 00:24:28,544 --> 00:24:30,744 - [indistinct chatter] 518 00:24:30,746 --> 00:24:33,947 - I'll do it! - You? 519 00:24:33,949 --> 00:24:35,716 - OLIVIA: Yeah, that's right! 520 00:24:35,718 --> 00:24:38,185 Tomorrow I'm gonna be in the square 521 00:24:38,187 --> 00:24:42,723 repping the Broads of Downtown. 522 00:24:42,725 --> 00:24:45,859 Who's with me? 523 00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:47,995 - Oh, like I'm gonna let anybody else 524 00:24:47,997 --> 00:24:50,397 destroy this place before me. 525 00:24:50,399 --> 00:24:51,565 - [laughter] 526 00:24:51,567 --> 00:24:52,699 - And like I'm gonna let them 527 00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:55,569 demolish the last gloryhole in town? 528 00:24:55,571 --> 00:24:57,070 - Like I'm gonna let you gals 529 00:24:57,072 --> 00:25:00,340 put your hands in a pileup without me. 530 00:25:00,342 --> 00:25:04,211 - Oh, if we're gonna compete, we need one more person. 531 00:25:04,213 --> 00:25:05,112 - I'll do it. 532 00:25:05,114 --> 00:25:07,314 - Any takers? Come on, ladies. 533 00:25:07,316 --> 00:25:09,216 - I'll do it. 534 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:12,052 - Is there anybody around here? - I don't think there's-- 535 00:25:12,054 --> 00:25:13,654 - Hey, what about you, Jane? 536 00:25:13,656 --> 00:25:15,389 - Oh! - Oh! 537 00:25:15,391 --> 00:25:18,325 - I'll do it! 538 00:25:18,327 --> 00:25:19,693 - Then it's settled. 539 00:25:19,695 --> 00:25:22,696 We'll win the crown and save the inn! 540 00:25:22,698 --> 00:25:25,032 - [cheering] 541 00:25:25,034 --> 00:25:26,466 - Very exciting. Very exciting. 542 00:25:26,468 --> 00:25:31,004 - But first we need to do something about...this. 543 00:25:31,006 --> 00:25:32,639 - What? I put on deodorant today. 544 00:25:32,641 --> 00:25:34,575 - [indignant chatter] 545 00:25:34,577 --> 00:25:35,642 - [clanking sound] 546 00:25:35,644 --> 00:25:37,844 - You hear that, ladies? 547 00:25:37,846 --> 00:25:41,715 That's the sound of a makeover montage! 548 00:25:41,717 --> 00:25:44,217 - No, that's actually just the sound of a couple of rats 549 00:25:44,219 --> 00:25:46,753 -- each other off in a radiator. 550 00:25:46,755 --> 00:25:48,221 - [clanking] - Oh. 551 00:25:48,223 --> 00:25:52,459 - ["Sissy That Walk" plays] 552 00:26:00,502 --> 00:26:02,536 - Oh! Oh! 553 00:26:02,538 --> 00:26:04,504 - [exclaiming] 554 00:26:07,977 --> 00:26:10,077 - Careful, she left a snail trail all over the bar. 555 00:26:10,079 --> 00:26:12,546 - That's it! - Oh, you like that? 556 00:26:12,548 --> 00:26:13,847 - Yeah, I like the hands. 557 00:26:13,849 --> 00:26:16,149 - ♪ Now sissy that walk ♪ 558 00:26:16,151 --> 00:26:17,584 - Oh! 559 00:26:17,586 --> 00:26:19,720 - ♪ Now sissy that walk ♪ 560 00:26:19,722 --> 00:26:21,154 - [gasps] 561 00:26:21,156 --> 00:26:30,664 - ♪ 562 00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:33,333 ♪ Uh oh-- now sissy that walk... ♪ 563 00:26:33,335 --> 00:26:35,602 - [gasp] Yes! 564 00:26:35,604 --> 00:26:37,337 - How do we look? 565 00:26:37,339 --> 00:26:38,605 - Like winners. 566 00:26:41,093 --> 00:26:42,759 - MALE ANNOUNCER: Live from downtown Tuckahoe, 567 00:26:42,761 --> 00:26:45,262 the Christ-missiest town in America, 568 00:26:45,264 --> 00:26:48,598 it's the Tuckahoe Annual Winter Ball! 569 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,401 - Well, it is a beautiful winter evening here in Tuckahoe 570 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:55,205 and the perfect night to kick off the annual Winter Ball. 571 00:26:55,207 --> 00:26:56,506 Isn't that right, Kreston Carsley? 572 00:26:56,508 --> 00:26:59,242 - Oh, it sure is, Matt Rothews! 573 00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:01,778 Even our wives joined us here tonight in the audience. 574 00:27:01,780 --> 00:27:03,847 - Oh, hi, hon! - Look at her. 575 00:27:03,849 --> 00:27:06,049 - Oh, your wife looks cute. - Thanks, I did her hair. 576 00:27:06,051 --> 00:27:07,651 - Oh, I love it. Did she get a new bra? 577 00:27:07,653 --> 00:27:09,720 - Mm, I'm not sure, but I cannot wait to 578 00:27:09,722 --> 00:27:13,123 bend her over my desk later and mess that thing up. 579 00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:14,358 - Yup, that's hot. 580 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,959 Alright, now, for the first competition, 581 00:27:15,961 --> 00:27:18,061 it's going to be the Holiday Runway. 582 00:27:18,063 --> 00:27:19,196 Isn't that right? - Yes! 583 00:27:19,198 --> 00:27:20,497 And for the Holiday Runway, 584 00:27:20,499 --> 00:27:22,866 each street will debut a series of unified looks 585 00:27:22,868 --> 00:27:24,968 for a chance to impress the mayor. 586 00:27:24,970 --> 00:27:26,903 Ooh, here she comes now. 587 00:27:26,905 --> 00:27:30,674 - [cheers and applause] 588 00:27:35,147 --> 00:27:38,715 - First up, L'Chaim Lane, serving us Hannakouture. 589 00:27:38,717 --> 00:27:40,217 - Hm, mazel. 590 00:27:40,219 --> 00:27:43,019 - [Jewish-style music plays] 591 00:27:43,021 --> 00:27:45,522 - [applause] 592 00:27:45,524 --> 00:27:54,398 - ♪ 593 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,867 - Well, well, well. 594 00:27:56,869 --> 00:27:59,870 Looks like the downtown rats made it out of the sewer! 595 00:27:59,872 --> 00:28:01,104 - Bitch. 596 00:28:01,106 --> 00:28:02,939 - Oh! Your hair looks expensive. 597 00:28:02,941 --> 00:28:04,508 Who might you be? 598 00:28:04,510 --> 00:28:06,543 - I'm Maggie Zeen. 599 00:28:06,545 --> 00:28:10,480 And I just wanna say you better watch your back. 600 00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:11,615 'Cause this year, 601 00:28:11,617 --> 00:28:13,417 the competition's gonna get a little tougher. 602 00:28:13,419 --> 00:28:14,851 - Mm-hmm. 603 00:28:14,853 --> 00:28:18,155 - Tougher, yeah, if you took out the "e" and put the "r" 604 00:28:18,157 --> 00:28:21,925 between the "t" and the "o." 605 00:28:21,927 --> 00:28:24,361 - Troug? - Trug? 606 00:28:24,363 --> 00:28:26,163 - Truffaut? - Wait, no-- 607 00:28:26,165 --> 00:28:28,365 - It's trough, as in the thing 608 00:28:28,367 --> 00:28:31,501 you'll be eating out of 'cause you're pigs. 609 00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:36,206 - I'm so sorry, can you say it one more time, please? 610 00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:39,242 - I--I thought you just said that we were rats. 611 00:28:39,244 --> 00:28:42,179 - ON PA: Kittenheel Court to the stage, please. 612 00:28:42,181 --> 00:28:45,916 - Watch and learn, little rats. Squeak squeak. 613 00:28:47,986 --> 00:28:51,822 - And of course Kittenheel Court serving Nativity Scene Realness. 614 00:28:51,824 --> 00:28:53,690 - ♪ Joy to the world ♪ 615 00:28:53,692 --> 00:28:55,859 ♪ Joy to the world ♪ 616 00:28:55,861 --> 00:28:59,663 ♪ Let heaven and nature... ♪ 617 00:28:59,665 --> 00:29:01,231 - I like her shoes. 618 00:29:01,233 --> 00:29:05,402 - [hip-hop beat] 619 00:29:05,404 --> 00:29:08,538 - ♪ Joy the world, the Lord is come ♪ 620 00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:09,739 - Mary! 621 00:29:09,741 --> 00:29:12,976 - Are you there, God? It's me, your baby mama. 622 00:29:12,978 --> 00:29:14,444 - Very creative. 623 00:29:14,446 --> 00:29:17,881 - ♪ Joy ♪ 624 00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:20,150 ♪ Joy to the world ♪♪ 625 00:29:20,152 --> 00:29:22,419 - [cheers and applause] 626 00:29:22,421 --> 00:29:24,788 - Ooh, next up, I wasn't expecting this. 627 00:29:24,790 --> 00:29:26,089 - This is a real shocker. 628 00:29:26,091 --> 00:29:28,358 - It's the Broads of Downtown Tuckahoe 629 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,961 giving us Santa's Werk Room. 630 00:29:30,963 --> 00:29:33,497 - Hm! - I don't know... 631 00:29:33,499 --> 00:29:37,734 - ♪ Come and taste my Christmas cookies ♪ 632 00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:43,640 ♪ From my lovin' oven ♪ 633 00:29:44,910 --> 00:29:45,976 ♪ Come and taste-- ♪ 634 00:29:45,978 --> 00:29:46,943 - [audience groans] - Oh! 635 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,280 - Ow! 636 00:29:50,282 --> 00:29:52,148 - [screams] 637 00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:53,683 - That's gonna leave a mark ♪ 638 00:29:53,685 --> 00:29:56,253 - ♪ O-o-oven ♪ 639 00:29:59,691 --> 00:30:05,595 - [gasping] - [jeering, some applause] 640 00:30:07,666 --> 00:30:09,199 - A level of unprofessionalism... 641 00:30:09,201 --> 00:30:10,867 - Far too much. 642 00:30:10,869 --> 00:30:13,937 - [loud jeers, applause] 643 00:30:18,110 --> 00:30:20,343 - Mayor Coont, your final judgment? 644 00:30:20,345 --> 00:30:23,113 - Put that away! 645 00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:26,016 - Kittenheel Court is the winner! 646 00:30:26,018 --> 00:30:27,350 - [sighing] 647 00:30:27,352 --> 00:30:30,520 - [horn and drum fanfare] 648 00:30:37,362 --> 00:30:40,497 - I told you to lock it away. 649 00:30:40,499 --> 00:30:42,299 - BIG RUSS: Lock what away? 650 00:30:42,301 --> 00:30:43,867 - MAYOR COONT: The crown! - BIG RUSS: I did. 651 00:30:43,869 --> 00:30:47,070 It's in a secret location that no one knows about. 652 00:30:47,072 --> 00:30:48,605 - MAYOR COONT: And it's locked up? 653 00:30:48,607 --> 00:30:49,806 - BIG RUSS: I couldn't find the key, 654 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:51,875 so I just put a really heavy book 655 00:30:51,877 --> 00:30:53,543 in front of the door. 656 00:30:53,545 --> 00:30:56,746 - MAYOR COONT: Russ, like I say every year, there's no key. 657 00:30:56,748 --> 00:30:57,914 It's a code. 658 00:30:57,916 --> 00:31:00,817 - BIG RUSS: Mm, that explains the keypad. 659 00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:02,385 So, uh, what was the code? 660 00:31:02,387 --> 00:31:05,255 - Oh, I told you the code! 661 00:31:05,257 --> 00:31:08,325 It's 80085-- 662 00:31:13,098 --> 00:31:15,732 - [struggling] 663 00:31:15,734 --> 00:31:18,401 - Oh! - Oh! 664 00:31:18,403 --> 00:31:19,936 - Careful there, Coffee Girl. 665 00:31:19,938 --> 00:31:23,273 - Oh. Hey...Coffee Guy. 666 00:31:23,275 --> 00:31:25,508 - BOTH: [laughing] 667 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,010 - Yeah, will that be cream or sugar? 668 00:31:27,012 --> 00:31:29,312 - Uh, oat milk, please, or else I'll -- my pants. 669 00:31:29,314 --> 00:31:31,681 - BOTH: [laughing] 670 00:31:32,584 --> 00:31:34,784 [laughing trails off awkwardly] 671 00:31:37,623 --> 00:31:39,789 - What were you doing back there? 672 00:31:39,791 --> 00:31:43,693 - Oh, I wa--I was just climbing up to... 673 00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:47,497 get a better look at this big tree. 674 00:31:47,499 --> 00:31:51,234 Wow, we don't have those where I'm from. 675 00:31:51,236 --> 00:31:53,336 - And where is that? 676 00:31:53,338 --> 00:31:56,773 - The Gobi Desert. 677 00:31:56,775 --> 00:31:58,508 - Oh. 678 00:31:58,510 --> 00:32:00,310 Oh no, your tape recorder's all wet. 679 00:32:00,312 --> 00:32:01,978 - Oh. Oh... 680 00:32:03,382 --> 00:32:05,015 - Here. 681 00:32:05,017 --> 00:32:10,453 - [sultry music] 682 00:32:10,455 --> 00:32:12,322 - Thank you. 683 00:32:15,861 --> 00:32:19,095 - Look, I know you're some classy business lady 684 00:32:19,097 --> 00:32:22,332 and I'm just some security guard with a tragic backstory 685 00:32:22,334 --> 00:32:25,435 that's left me incredibly single, but... 686 00:32:25,437 --> 00:32:26,970 is there any chance that you might-- 687 00:32:26,972 --> 00:32:28,738 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 688 00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:31,741 - I'm sorry. I--I have to take this. 689 00:32:35,313 --> 00:32:37,681 - Hannah? - Do you have the crown? 690 00:32:40,185 --> 00:32:42,318 - I'm...working on it. 691 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,120 - HANNAH: Well, what's the hold up? 692 00:32:44,122 --> 00:32:45,622 Olivia, I did not send you there 693 00:32:45,624 --> 00:32:49,592 to walk around with your thumb up your ass. 694 00:32:49,594 --> 00:32:53,496 Olivia, do I need to remind you how much you owe me? 695 00:32:53,498 --> 00:32:59,469 Darling, I was there for you when nobody else was. 696 00:32:59,471 --> 00:33:02,205 Olivia, if you drop one more call, 697 00:33:02,207 --> 00:33:06,142 you're going back out on the street where I found you. 698 00:33:06,144 --> 00:33:08,611 - Yes, Hannah. 699 00:33:11,216 --> 00:33:12,849 - HANNAH: Let me tell you something. 700 00:33:12,851 --> 00:33:15,752 You're lucky I found you on that stoop. 701 00:33:15,754 --> 00:33:18,421 I risked my career for you, so you better repay me-- 702 00:33:18,423 --> 00:33:22,392 - I will. I will get it, Hannah. 703 00:33:22,394 --> 00:33:24,728 - HANNAH: That's a good girl. 704 00:33:26,531 --> 00:33:28,231 - MICHELLE: After a series of losses, 705 00:33:28,233 --> 00:33:32,368 the broads were losing faith. Holed up in the bar-- 706 00:33:32,370 --> 00:33:34,003 - [banging on door] 707 00:33:34,005 --> 00:33:39,743 - Who the hell? - Hi! What's up, bitch? 708 00:33:39,745 --> 00:33:41,778 - Kim Petras, what are you doing here? 709 00:33:41,780 --> 00:33:44,681 - ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of-- ♪ 710 00:33:44,683 --> 00:33:45,949 - No, hold up, uh-uh. 711 00:33:45,951 --> 00:33:47,517 You can't just come into people's houses 712 00:33:47,519 --> 00:33:48,752 and start singing. 713 00:33:48,754 --> 00:33:50,420 I am in the middle of something, so... 714 00:33:50,422 --> 00:33:52,122 - KIM: Oh, okay. 715 00:33:52,124 --> 00:33:54,457 - [fire crackling] 716 00:33:54,459 --> 00:33:55,825 - Right. - Okay. 717 00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:59,763 - Now, where were we? Ah, right. 718 00:33:59,765 --> 00:34:03,399 The broads were just thinking maybe they should just give up. 719 00:34:03,401 --> 00:34:06,069 - [sad piano music] 720 00:34:06,071 --> 00:34:09,706 - You know, maybe we should just give up. 721 00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:12,575 - I'll never be a pop star after this. 722 00:34:12,577 --> 00:34:14,110 - No, we can't give up. 723 00:34:16,081 --> 00:34:18,481 I mean, did Katie Couric give up 724 00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,683 when her daytime talk show was canceled? 725 00:34:20,685 --> 00:34:22,218 - Who? 726 00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:24,621 - Did Rachel Maddow give up when--when everyone said 727 00:34:24,623 --> 00:34:27,123 she looked like a lesbian Andrew Garfield? 728 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:31,694 - Yeah, but girl, even if we set our -- up 729 00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:36,132 to the Nth degree, we still ain't no Kittenheel Court. 730 00:34:36,134 --> 00:34:38,401 - Maybe that's the problem. 731 00:34:38,403 --> 00:34:40,937 We're trying to be Kittenheel Court. 732 00:34:45,110 --> 00:34:47,911 - Oh, Christ on a cracker, she's climbing on the furniture. 733 00:34:47,913 --> 00:34:50,713 - Who are these Kittenheel Court ladies anyway, huh? 734 00:34:50,715 --> 00:34:53,750 Huh? They're rich. So? 735 00:34:53,752 --> 00:34:55,952 They're--they're--they're manicured. 736 00:34:55,954 --> 00:34:57,053 What else? 737 00:34:57,055 --> 00:34:58,855 - Oh, they also bleach their ass-- . 738 00:34:58,857 --> 00:35:01,658 - Exactly! And guess what? 739 00:35:01,660 --> 00:35:04,694 Our ass-- aren't bleached. 740 00:35:04,696 --> 00:35:07,330 Ours are the color of -- ! 741 00:35:07,332 --> 00:35:08,631 And you know why? 742 00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,834 - Because that's where -- comes out of? 743 00:35:10,836 --> 00:35:14,604 - Yes, Jane! That is where -- comes out of! 744 00:35:14,606 --> 00:35:17,106 - I like where this is going. 745 00:35:17,108 --> 00:35:20,910 - The Broads are gross. 746 00:35:20,912 --> 00:35:23,213 Hey? We're sluts! 747 00:35:23,215 --> 00:35:24,681 We're messes! 748 00:35:24,683 --> 00:35:27,350 And we are proud of it. 749 00:35:27,352 --> 00:35:31,554 We've just gotta take our nasty -- 750 00:35:31,556 --> 00:35:34,457 and shove it in their faces. 751 00:35:34,459 --> 00:35:36,893 - What if I usually charge for that? 752 00:35:36,895 --> 00:35:42,765 - We just have to show this town why we are special. 753 00:35:42,767 --> 00:35:46,603 - But--but the Carol Showdown is tomorrow night! 754 00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:49,172 What are we supposed to do? 755 00:35:49,174 --> 00:35:54,410 - Uh...come on, ladies. I've got a plan. 756 00:35:54,412 --> 00:35:55,612 - Is it topless? 757 00:35:57,616 --> 00:36:00,016 - [applause] 758 00:36:00,018 --> 00:36:01,718 - And for those of you just joining us, 759 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:04,187 tonight is the ultimate Carol Showdown. 760 00:36:04,189 --> 00:36:06,623 - Yes, and the rules are very simple. 761 00:36:06,625 --> 00:36:08,658 Two teams are forced to go head to head 762 00:36:08,660 --> 00:36:11,694 in a high-stakes carol sing-off. 763 00:36:11,696 --> 00:36:15,932 - ♪ Joy to the world, the Lord has come ♪ 764 00:36:15,934 --> 00:36:19,469 ♪ Let earth receive her king ♪ 765 00:36:19,471 --> 00:36:20,904 - ♪ Her king ♪ 766 00:36:20,906 --> 00:36:23,606 - ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 767 00:36:23,608 --> 00:36:25,909 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 768 00:36:25,911 --> 00:36:28,478 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪ 769 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,214 - We better back up, Matt. We're in the splash zone. 770 00:36:31,216 --> 00:36:33,216 - ♪ Spread your legs and grab your ankles ♪ 771 00:36:33,218 --> 00:36:35,652 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 772 00:36:35,654 --> 00:36:39,088 - ♪ Away in a manger ♪ 773 00:36:39,090 --> 00:36:42,825 ♪ No crib for a bed ♪ 774 00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:46,629 ♪ The little Lord Jesus ♪ 775 00:36:46,631 --> 00:36:50,133 ♪ Lay down his sweet head ♪ 776 00:36:50,135 --> 00:36:52,568 - ♪ Just rail me, merry gentlemen ♪ 777 00:36:52,570 --> 00:36:54,871 ♪ And let me ride that thing ♪ 778 00:36:54,873 --> 00:36:57,106 - ♪ I'll grind on top and I won't stop ♪ 779 00:36:57,108 --> 00:36:59,876 ♪ Until my bussy sings ♪ 780 00:36:59,878 --> 00:37:01,244 - What's a bussy? 781 00:37:01,246 --> 00:37:02,712 - ["The 12 Days of Christmas" intro] 782 00:37:02,714 --> 00:37:04,814 - Skip to the end! 783 00:37:06,084 --> 00:37:07,817 - ♪ On the 12th day of Christmas ♪ 784 00:37:07,819 --> 00:37:09,852 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 785 00:37:09,854 --> 00:37:11,054 - ♪ Twelve drummers drumming ♪ 786 00:37:11,056 --> 00:37:12,522 - ♪ Eleven vodka tampons ♪ 787 00:37:12,524 --> 00:37:13,656 - ♪ Ten lords a-leaping ♪ 788 00:37:13,658 --> 00:37:14,924 - ♪ Nine lines of cocaine ♪ 789 00:37:14,926 --> 00:37:16,092 - ♪ Eight maids a-milking ♪ 790 00:37:16,094 --> 00:37:17,460 - ♪ Seven hookers sucking ♪ 791 00:37:17,462 --> 00:37:18,828 - ♪ Six geese a-laying ♪ 792 00:37:18,830 --> 00:37:23,132 - ♪ Five gold -- rings ♪ 793 00:37:23,134 --> 00:37:24,434 - ♪ Four calling birds ♪ 794 00:37:24,436 --> 00:37:25,468 - ♪ Three big -- ♪ 795 00:37:25,470 --> 00:37:26,669 - ♪ Two turtledoves ♪ 796 00:37:26,671 --> 00:37:27,637 - ♪ And a-- ♪ 797 00:37:27,639 --> 00:37:31,074 - [bleeping] 798 00:37:31,076 --> 00:37:32,308 - Ooh! 799 00:37:32,310 --> 00:37:34,944 - [bleeping] 800 00:37:34,946 --> 00:37:38,481 - ♪ In an orgy ♪♪ 801 00:37:38,483 --> 00:37:40,049 - [silence] 802 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,120 - [soft, indistinct chatter] 803 00:37:44,122 --> 00:37:46,823 - That was the most inappropriate, 804 00:37:46,825 --> 00:37:49,459 disgusting, puerile performance 805 00:37:49,461 --> 00:37:53,496 in the history of the ball! 806 00:37:53,498 --> 00:37:55,598 And I'm gagging for more! 807 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,701 - [cheers and applause] 808 00:37:58,703 --> 00:38:01,304 - Oh! I might as well just call it now. 809 00:38:01,306 --> 00:38:05,708 The Broads win the entire carol battle! 810 00:38:05,710 --> 00:38:07,610 - [horn and drum fanfare] 811 00:38:07,612 --> 00:38:09,012 - Oh! 812 00:38:10,515 --> 00:38:12,048 - [jaunty piano intro] 813 00:38:12,050 --> 00:38:15,218 - Everybody! - Okay! 814 00:38:15,220 --> 00:38:17,620 Ladies, I think it's time to wrap it up. 815 00:38:17,622 --> 00:38:18,788 - Oh, no! 816 00:38:18,790 --> 00:38:20,356 - Yes, you guys! 817 00:38:20,358 --> 00:38:21,758 We have to practice. 818 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,493 So get some rest for tomorrow, okay? 819 00:38:23,495 --> 00:38:24,660 - [groaning] 820 00:38:24,662 --> 00:38:26,796 - You too, Hazel. I'm gonna close up. 821 00:38:26,798 --> 00:38:29,632 - Mm, well, goodnight. - Goodnight. 822 00:38:29,634 --> 00:38:31,200 - Rest? I have to go to work now. 823 00:38:31,202 --> 00:38:34,670 - She should close up shop. - Come on, girls. 824 00:38:36,674 --> 00:38:39,776 - Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed. 825 00:38:39,778 --> 00:38:41,844 - So I guess I'm too late for a nightcap? 826 00:38:41,846 --> 00:38:44,614 - [lush, romantic music] 827 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,386 - So what's a girl from the Gobi Desert doing 828 00:38:50,388 --> 00:38:51,888 in a town like this? 829 00:38:51,890 --> 00:38:53,456 - [fire crackling] 830 00:38:53,458 --> 00:38:55,591 - You have any... 831 00:38:55,593 --> 00:38:56,993 Gobi boyfriends? 832 00:38:56,995 --> 00:38:59,028 - Oh, no, no. 833 00:38:59,030 --> 00:39:00,463 I'm sort of married to my job. 834 00:39:00,465 --> 00:39:03,733 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 835 00:39:03,735 --> 00:39:05,635 - I feel that. 836 00:39:05,637 --> 00:39:09,705 I've also thrown myself into my job ever since... 837 00:39:09,707 --> 00:39:11,908 the accident. - [melodramatic music] 838 00:39:11,910 --> 00:39:14,110 - She was my wife. 839 00:39:14,112 --> 00:39:16,946 - Oh, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. 840 00:39:16,948 --> 00:39:20,817 - It was December. A day like any other. 841 00:39:20,819 --> 00:39:23,986 Except it was the day my wife died. 842 00:39:23,988 --> 00:39:26,923 There I was, watching her leave for her job 843 00:39:26,925 --> 00:39:29,625 as the town's clock tower technician. 844 00:39:29,627 --> 00:39:30,560 [laughs] 845 00:39:30,562 --> 00:39:32,462 - Aw! 846 00:39:32,464 --> 00:39:35,465 - She knew that clock inside and out. 847 00:39:35,467 --> 00:39:40,937 AM...and PM. 848 00:39:40,939 --> 00:39:44,040 It was supposed to be a routine maintenance job. 849 00:39:44,042 --> 00:39:46,242 Loosening of a bolt here. 850 00:39:46,244 --> 00:39:49,712 Straightening of a hand there. 851 00:39:49,714 --> 00:39:53,483 Just like every other inspection. 852 00:39:53,485 --> 00:39:55,384 Except it was the one that killed my wife. 853 00:39:55,386 --> 00:39:56,886 - Again, if this is too touchy for you-- 854 00:39:56,888 --> 00:39:58,721 - She was mangled. 855 00:39:58,723 --> 00:40:02,825 Sucked into the gears like a piece of saltwater taffy. 856 00:40:02,827 --> 00:40:05,595 Her bones crushed by the pendulum. 857 00:40:05,597 --> 00:40:08,197 Her head... 858 00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:12,468 popping open from the sheer force of the pulleys. 859 00:40:12,470 --> 00:40:16,405 You ever try wiping brain matter off a giant bell? 860 00:40:16,407 --> 00:40:17,773 - No, I haven't. 861 00:40:17,775 --> 00:40:21,077 - That's because your wife didn't die in a clocktower! 862 00:40:21,079 --> 00:40:24,180 - [bell chimes] 863 00:40:25,283 --> 00:40:27,817 - [melodramatic music continues] 864 00:40:27,819 --> 00:40:30,853 - She was so dead. 865 00:40:30,855 --> 00:40:34,724 Deader than print journalism. 866 00:40:34,726 --> 00:40:37,860 Her body so... 867 00:40:37,862 --> 00:40:42,064 mangled by the gears, so stiff with... 868 00:40:42,066 --> 00:40:45,334 rigor mortis. 869 00:40:45,336 --> 00:40:47,370 It was impossible to get out. 870 00:40:49,174 --> 00:40:52,875 So now every time I look up... 871 00:40:52,877 --> 00:40:55,411 I know the exact time she died. 872 00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:57,713 - [bell chimes] 873 00:41:01,753 --> 00:41:04,787 - Wow. 874 00:41:04,789 --> 00:41:08,324 I never told anyone that before. 875 00:41:08,326 --> 00:41:10,993 Except everyone in town who watched it happen. 876 00:41:10,995 --> 00:41:12,762 - Yeah. 877 00:41:12,764 --> 00:41:14,463 - You look just like her. - Oh-- 878 00:41:14,465 --> 00:41:16,532 - Would you ever consider wearing a blonde wig? 879 00:41:16,534 --> 00:41:17,733 - [creepy organ music] 880 00:41:17,735 --> 00:41:19,835 - Sorry. 881 00:41:19,837 --> 00:41:21,070 - Olivia, darling, 882 00:41:21,072 --> 00:41:23,973 why are you not answering my phone calls? 883 00:41:23,975 --> 00:41:26,108 Were you eaten by dogs or something? 884 00:41:26,110 --> 00:41:27,977 - VOICEMAIL ROBOT: Sorry, bitch. This mailbox is full. 885 00:41:27,979 --> 00:41:29,845 - It better not be. 886 00:41:29,847 --> 00:41:31,380 - VOICEMAIL ROBOT: Making room for more messages. 887 00:41:31,382 --> 00:41:34,050 You ain't gotta be all extra. - Good, thank you. 888 00:41:36,688 --> 00:41:40,523 Never send a reporter to do an editor's job. 889 00:41:42,393 --> 00:41:45,561 - [laughter] 890 00:41:45,563 --> 00:41:48,097 - What were we even laughing about? 891 00:41:48,099 --> 00:41:49,865 - Can't even remember! 892 00:41:52,670 --> 00:41:56,973 So, what about you? You have any family? 893 00:41:56,975 --> 00:41:59,041 - Oh, um... 894 00:41:59,043 --> 00:42:01,677 I don't really talk about my family that much. 895 00:42:01,679 --> 00:42:04,647 - Is that because they died in a clock tower? 896 00:42:04,649 --> 00:42:07,183 - No, uh... 897 00:42:07,185 --> 00:42:09,385 I just don't think they ever really wanted me. 898 00:42:12,690 --> 00:42:15,424 - Hey, um, what's that? 899 00:42:15,426 --> 00:42:19,195 - Oh, that's Mayor Coont 30 years ago. 900 00:42:19,197 --> 00:42:23,366 She was the best winter queen this town ever had. 901 00:42:23,368 --> 00:42:25,468 - Who's that standing behind her? 902 00:42:25,470 --> 00:42:28,237 - BIG RUSS: That's her sister, Marianne. 903 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:29,872 She used to write for the local paper, 904 00:42:29,874 --> 00:42:33,175 but nobody ever read her articles. 905 00:42:33,177 --> 00:42:35,378 It's sad, really. 906 00:42:35,380 --> 00:42:38,681 She was always living in the Mayor's shadow. 907 00:42:38,683 --> 00:42:40,049 - Was? 908 00:42:40,051 --> 00:42:43,319 - [fire crackling] 909 00:42:43,321 --> 00:42:46,389 - Nobody ever knew what happened to her. 910 00:42:46,391 --> 00:42:47,390 - Oh. 911 00:42:47,392 --> 00:42:49,759 - She went missing on that very day. 912 00:42:52,864 --> 00:42:55,631 - [cheerful Christmas music] 913 00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:58,668 - Well, it's getting late. - Yeah. 914 00:43:02,373 --> 00:43:04,140 Hey. 915 00:43:05,209 --> 00:43:07,443 Maybe I could take you out for that coffee sometime. 916 00:43:09,314 --> 00:43:10,579 And don't worry. 917 00:43:10,581 --> 00:43:14,083 I won't talk about my dead wife. 918 00:43:14,085 --> 00:43:15,251 Too much. 919 00:43:15,253 --> 00:43:16,686 - BOTH: [laughing] 920 00:43:18,389 --> 00:43:20,289 - I'll think about it. 921 00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:30,933 - [sighs] 922 00:43:30,935 --> 00:43:32,735 - [glass shatters] - [cat meows] 923 00:43:32,737 --> 00:43:34,337 - BIG RUSS: Yeah, I'll just let myself out. 924 00:43:36,691 --> 00:43:38,024 - Three minutes left in the Tree Lighting Challenge, 925 00:43:38,026 --> 00:43:39,658 and this competition is heating up 926 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:41,727 faster than my wife's undercarriage. 927 00:43:41,729 --> 00:43:45,564 - Mm, and trust me, that is pretty fast. 928 00:43:45,566 --> 00:43:48,901 - And how would you know that, Matt? 929 00:43:48,903 --> 00:43:50,369 - [horn honks twice] 930 00:43:55,410 --> 00:43:56,709 - Oh. - Oh. 931 00:43:56,711 --> 00:43:57,910 - Oh. - Oh! 932 00:43:57,912 --> 00:43:59,412 - Bea, that's our tree? 933 00:43:59,414 --> 00:44:00,713 - Yeah, and you might wanna grab it 934 00:44:00,715 --> 00:44:03,282 before the hospital realizes it's missing. 935 00:44:03,284 --> 00:44:06,152 Get it! - Uh, ladies? 936 00:44:06,154 --> 00:44:08,287 Look at Kittenheel Court. 937 00:44:08,289 --> 00:44:11,057 - Yoo-hoo! Get a load of this, girls! 938 00:44:11,059 --> 00:44:12,158 - [zapping] - [cackles] 939 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,459 - [digital "Deck the Halls" plays] 940 00:44:13,461 --> 00:44:15,428 - [some exclaiming] 941 00:44:15,430 --> 00:44:17,263 - You know, I think we're going to need more lights. 942 00:44:17,265 --> 00:44:18,464 - Yeah. 943 00:44:18,466 --> 00:44:20,132 - [indistinct chatter] 944 00:44:20,134 --> 00:44:21,367 - I have an idea. 945 00:44:21,369 --> 00:44:25,704 - Oh, good. Where are you going? 946 00:44:25,706 --> 00:44:28,441 - MAYOR COONT: Bertram! We only have a few minutes. 947 00:44:28,443 --> 00:44:33,145 Mmmwah! Ah ha--oh! Oh, no! 948 00:44:33,147 --> 00:44:37,416 Ah, I feel so safe with you, Bertram. 949 00:44:37,418 --> 00:44:39,885 Oh, oh, oh... 950 00:44:39,887 --> 00:44:42,288 - BERTRAM: [grunts] 951 00:44:42,290 --> 00:44:46,559 - MAYOR COONT: [laughs] That's why I trusted you 952 00:44:46,561 --> 00:44:50,930 to keep the crown in your bank. Ooh, yeah! 953 00:44:50,932 --> 00:44:53,032 - BERTRAM: [growls] - MAYOR COONT: Shh, shh, shh! 954 00:44:55,770 --> 00:44:57,670 - Oh, ladies, that looks a lot better. 955 00:44:57,672 --> 00:44:59,338 It's like Rockefeller Center. 956 00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:00,873 - [laughter] 957 00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:03,409 - But you know, this tree's still missing a certain... 958 00:45:03,411 --> 00:45:05,177 je ne sais quoi. 959 00:45:05,179 --> 00:45:07,113 Oh, I know! 960 00:45:07,115 --> 00:45:10,082 We don't have a star for the top. 961 00:45:10,084 --> 00:45:12,318 - I have another idea. 962 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,587 - Oh. 963 00:45:14,589 --> 00:45:17,089 - And now for the final judging. 964 00:45:17,091 --> 00:45:19,258 - [gong sounds] 965 00:45:19,260 --> 00:45:20,860 - [cheers and applause] 966 00:45:20,862 --> 00:45:23,929 - [horn version of "O Christmas Tree"] 967 00:45:23,931 --> 00:45:27,299 - [applause] 968 00:45:27,301 --> 00:45:29,902 - [gasps] Oh! 969 00:45:29,904 --> 00:45:31,470 [gasps] 970 00:45:31,472 --> 00:45:34,907 - [cheers and applause] 971 00:45:38,946 --> 00:45:40,613 - Get her, Jane. 972 00:45:40,615 --> 00:45:45,651 - [intro to Schubert's "Ave Maria" plays] 973 00:45:47,155 --> 00:45:53,058 - ♪ Ave Maria ♪ 974 00:45:56,130 --> 00:46:01,767 ♪ Gratia plena ♪ 975 00:46:01,769 --> 00:46:07,673 ♪ Maria something, something Latin ♪ 976 00:46:07,675 --> 00:46:12,545 ♪ Maria is a cool name ♪ 977 00:46:12,547 --> 00:46:17,283 ♪ Name, name ♪♪ 978 00:46:17,285 --> 00:46:20,686 - [cheers and applause] 979 00:46:20,688 --> 00:46:25,691 - [horn and drum fanfare] 980 00:46:29,297 --> 00:46:30,663 - We need to talk. 981 00:46:31,732 --> 00:46:34,466 - We are saving this inn! 982 00:46:34,468 --> 00:46:38,404 - [cheering] 983 00:46:38,406 --> 00:46:40,606 - Girls, tonight, for the rest of the night, 984 00:46:40,608 --> 00:46:42,641 all drinks are on me. 985 00:46:42,643 --> 00:46:45,444 - [cheering, laughter] 986 00:46:45,446 --> 00:46:47,913 - I got you, girl! I got you! 987 00:46:47,915 --> 00:46:52,885 - [surfer-style "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays] 988 00:46:54,288 --> 00:46:56,522 - So I was thinking about that coffee. 989 00:46:56,524 --> 00:47:01,894 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 990 00:47:01,896 --> 00:47:05,164 - Maggie's phone. This is Hazel speaking? 991 00:47:05,166 --> 00:47:07,900 - Who the hell is Maggie? 992 00:47:07,902 --> 00:47:09,668 - Hazel? Hazel, what are you doing? 993 00:47:09,670 --> 00:47:11,270 - Oh, I'm just talking to some woman 994 00:47:11,272 --> 00:47:13,038 that's trapped inside your phone. 995 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,074 - I'm her boss. 996 00:47:15,076 --> 00:47:16,108 - Oh! - What? 997 00:47:16,110 --> 00:47:17,376 No, no, girls, look. 998 00:47:17,378 --> 00:47:19,511 It's Maggie's boss from the journal factory! 999 00:47:19,513 --> 00:47:23,382 - [exclaiming] 1000 00:47:23,384 --> 00:47:26,785 - Maggie's the best! 1001 00:47:26,787 --> 00:47:28,887 - Hannah, I'm just gonna go over that journal protoype. 1002 00:47:28,889 --> 00:47:32,358 [laughs nervously] It just--it has a gun in it. 1003 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,494 - Oh, I love guns! 1004 00:47:35,496 --> 00:47:36,795 - HANNAH: Olivia, tell me, darling, 1005 00:47:36,797 --> 00:47:39,665 does my limo have a toilet in it? 1006 00:47:39,667 --> 00:47:40,833 - Not that I know of. 1007 00:47:40,835 --> 00:47:42,368 - Then why did you send me something 1008 00:47:42,370 --> 00:47:44,903 I could wipe my ass with? 1009 00:47:44,905 --> 00:47:47,139 - It's a new take on the exposé. 1010 00:47:47,141 --> 00:47:50,843 It's--it's strong women coming together against all odds. 1011 00:47:50,845 --> 00:47:53,746 - You were supposed to find me gossip. 1012 00:47:53,748 --> 00:47:57,516 You were supposed to find me that crown. 1013 00:47:57,518 --> 00:47:59,685 But, if you'd rather make friends with a bunch of 1014 00:47:59,687 --> 00:48:04,490 overgrown orangutans, then be my guest. 1015 00:48:04,492 --> 00:48:08,894 I guess that promotion is going up in flames. 1016 00:48:08,896 --> 00:48:11,630 I'm hanging up. - No, wait, wait, wait. 1017 00:48:11,632 --> 00:48:14,400 I know where the crown is hiding. 1018 00:48:14,402 --> 00:48:18,037 It's in a vault, locked in a bank. 1019 00:48:18,039 --> 00:48:19,805 And I have the code. 1020 00:48:19,807 --> 00:48:22,007 - How do you know that? - I eavesdropped on the mayor 1021 00:48:22,009 --> 00:48:24,243 having an affair with the banker. 1022 00:48:24,245 --> 00:48:25,878 - Well, well, well. 1023 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,347 It looks like this town's grapevine 1024 00:48:28,349 --> 00:48:31,183 just got a whole lot juicier. 1025 00:48:31,185 --> 00:48:32,951 [chuckles] 1026 00:48:32,953 --> 00:48:36,689 I've changed my mind. Don't worry about the crown. 1027 00:48:36,691 --> 00:48:39,258 Focus on rewriting the exposé. 1028 00:48:39,260 --> 00:48:43,829 But I want something that grabs me by the labia 1029 00:48:43,831 --> 00:48:45,798 and makes me wanna listen. 1030 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:50,336 Uh, uh, uh, cheating husbands, slutty mayors. 1031 00:48:50,338 --> 00:48:52,738 Those ugly friends of yours. 1032 00:48:52,740 --> 00:48:55,808 - The Broads? No, no, they're great. 1033 00:48:55,810 --> 00:48:57,910 They're--they're like the "Sex and the City" girls. 1034 00:48:57,912 --> 00:49:00,312 - Yeah, if the city were Chernobyl. 1035 00:49:01,515 --> 00:49:03,382 Hey, just curious. 1036 00:49:03,384 --> 00:49:06,785 What is the code to that crown vault? 1037 00:49:06,787 --> 00:49:10,022 - Oh, it--it's just 80085. Why? 1038 00:49:10,024 --> 00:49:11,090 - No reason. 1039 00:49:11,092 --> 00:49:14,126 Hey listen, I'm getting another call. 1040 00:49:14,128 --> 00:49:18,964 Just have that exposé in my email tomorrow morning... 1041 00:49:18,966 --> 00:49:24,303 and that promotion is yours. 1042 00:49:24,305 --> 00:49:25,371 - [sighs] 1043 00:49:26,841 --> 00:49:28,674 - You can come out now. 1044 00:49:31,178 --> 00:49:33,278 You're the private investigator I called. 1045 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:36,348 - Mr. E at your service. 1046 00:49:36,350 --> 00:49:38,250 - Her name is Maggie Zeen. 1047 00:49:38,252 --> 00:49:40,919 Something about her doesn't sit right with me. 1048 00:49:40,921 --> 00:49:43,689 - So you think someone murdered her. 1049 00:49:43,691 --> 00:49:45,758 - What? No, she's alive. 1050 00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:49,461 - Lady, I specialize in homicide. 1051 00:49:49,463 --> 00:49:51,130 Dead girls, mostly. 1052 00:49:51,132 --> 00:49:55,100 I can find a dead girl in a quarry, or a stream, 1053 00:49:55,102 --> 00:50:00,072 or an oil drum floating down a cranberry bog. 1054 00:50:00,074 --> 00:50:02,174 - I just need you to look into her. 1055 00:50:02,176 --> 00:50:03,642 Dig around, find any-- 1056 00:50:03,644 --> 00:50:06,211 - Semen inside her? 1057 00:50:06,213 --> 00:50:07,713 - No. 1058 00:50:07,715 --> 00:50:11,450 She's at the Tuck'd Inn right now, as in not dead? 1059 00:50:11,452 --> 00:50:12,985 - She's dead. 1060 00:50:12,987 --> 00:50:15,020 - And she's with all these other women. 1061 00:50:15,022 --> 00:50:17,890 - Oh my, we're talking about a serial killer. 1062 00:50:17,892 --> 00:50:20,092 - None of them are dead. 1063 00:50:20,094 --> 00:50:25,097 - Dead girls at an inn. Got it. 1064 00:50:25,099 --> 00:50:26,632 Well, here's what I'm gonna do. 1065 00:50:26,634 --> 00:50:29,001 Go down there, shine my black light, 1066 00:50:29,003 --> 00:50:33,872 hopefully find enough semen to crack this case wide open. 1067 00:50:33,874 --> 00:50:38,110 - You can't just walk in there. You look like a detective. 1068 00:50:38,112 --> 00:50:41,713 - Oh yeah? What's that supposed to mean? 1069 00:50:41,715 --> 00:50:43,282 - You'll need a disguise, 1070 00:50:43,284 --> 00:50:46,518 something to blend in with these women. 1071 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,254 - Lady, I'm a detective. 1072 00:50:49,256 --> 00:50:53,792 All I wear is a badge and an alcohol-soaked jacket 1073 00:50:53,794 --> 00:50:57,095 that screams my son died in a car wreck. 1074 00:50:57,097 --> 00:50:59,198 - I think I might have something. 1075 00:51:05,606 --> 00:51:06,939 - I just came home. 1076 00:51:10,628 --> 00:51:12,895 - MICHELLE: All night, Olivia typed, tangled up in her sheets, 1077 00:51:12,897 --> 00:51:16,732 with a focus on the Broads for her new smear piece. 1078 00:51:16,734 --> 00:51:20,536 - They were ugly, with no sense of style. 1079 00:51:20,538 --> 00:51:24,406 Did I mention they were really ugly? 1080 00:51:24,408 --> 00:51:26,909 Damn, I hate how good this is. 1081 00:51:26,911 --> 00:51:28,644 - [knocking at door] 1082 00:51:28,646 --> 00:51:30,946 - Uh... - Knock knock! 1083 00:51:30,948 --> 00:51:34,049 [laughs] Room service! 1084 00:51:34,051 --> 00:51:36,251 Did somebody order up the best friend special? 1085 00:51:36,253 --> 00:51:38,220 - Oh girls, I'm not really dressed! 1086 00:51:38,222 --> 00:51:41,390 - We wanted to find you before the Winter Feast today 1087 00:51:41,392 --> 00:51:42,925 and give you a little gift 1088 00:51:42,927 --> 00:51:45,327 for all the ways you've been helping us. 1089 00:51:45,329 --> 00:51:46,295 - [laughter] 1090 00:51:46,297 --> 00:51:48,363 - It's an-- - It's an ornament. 1091 00:51:48,365 --> 00:51:51,266 You know, a symbol of our friendship. 1092 00:51:51,268 --> 00:51:54,303 You know how we would never betray or lie to each other? 1093 00:51:54,305 --> 00:51:56,638 - And the glass represents how transparent 1094 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:57,940 we've all been with each other. 1095 00:51:57,942 --> 00:51:59,341 - And it's broken to represent 1096 00:51:59,343 --> 00:52:01,777 how if one of us stabs the rest of us in the back, 1097 00:52:01,779 --> 00:52:05,180 it would just break our hearts into a million little pieces. 1098 00:52:05,182 --> 00:52:07,583 - [voice breaking] Just get out... 1099 00:52:07,585 --> 00:52:09,051 - Wha-- 1100 00:52:09,053 --> 00:52:12,387 - MICHELLE: In that moment, Olivia's blood ran cold. 1101 00:52:12,389 --> 00:52:14,723 Did they find out her secret? Only the-- 1102 00:52:14,725 --> 00:52:15,757 - [knocking at door] 1103 00:52:15,759 --> 00:52:17,993 - Okay, now who is that? 1104 00:52:17,995 --> 00:52:20,762 - [shrieks] - Charo! 1105 00:52:20,764 --> 00:52:22,898 - [speaks Spanish] 1106 00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:25,400 that we are in the same neighborhood! Woo! 1107 00:52:25,402 --> 00:52:28,070 - Charo, we don't live in the same neighborhood. 1108 00:52:28,072 --> 00:52:32,074 I am in a cabin in the middle of the goddamn mountains. 1109 00:52:32,076 --> 00:52:37,246 - [speaks Spanish] Please, please, please? 1110 00:52:37,248 --> 00:52:39,248 Mucho, mucho, mucho! Por favor? 1111 00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:40,649 - You want to sing me a song? 1112 00:52:40,651 --> 00:52:42,985 - Claro. ♪ Cuchi cuchi cuchi ♪ 1113 00:52:42,987 --> 00:52:44,453 - You know what I want? 1114 00:52:44,455 --> 00:52:47,789 I want people to call before they come and visit me. 1115 00:52:47,791 --> 00:52:49,591 But that's not gonna happen, is it? 1116 00:52:49,593 --> 00:52:50,892 - No, surprise. 1117 00:52:50,894 --> 00:52:53,228 - So, sientate. Sit next to Kim Petras. 1118 00:52:53,230 --> 00:52:55,130 And I'd like to wrap up this story, okay? 1119 00:52:55,132 --> 00:52:56,398 - Okay. - Okay. 1120 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,366 - Okay. 1121 00:52:57,368 --> 00:52:58,600 - It's getting pretty good, yeah. 1122 00:52:58,602 --> 00:53:00,269 - Very good. - Yeah. 1123 00:53:00,271 --> 00:53:03,438 - Okay, now, where were we? 1124 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,241 [gasps] Right. 1125 00:53:06,243 --> 00:53:10,312 - Did you really think you could fool us? 1126 00:53:10,314 --> 00:53:14,049 - Oh my god. How did you find out? 1127 00:53:14,051 --> 00:53:16,051 - What? That we disturbed Maggie Zeen 1128 00:53:16,053 --> 00:53:17,919 flicking the old Maggie bean? 1129 00:53:17,921 --> 00:53:20,188 - [laughter] 1130 00:53:20,190 --> 00:53:22,324 - You got it! You got me! [laughs] 1131 00:53:22,326 --> 00:53:24,559 - Come on, girls, let her whip up a bowl 1132 00:53:24,561 --> 00:53:26,528 of -- chili in piece. 1133 00:53:26,530 --> 00:53:27,996 - [laughter] 1134 00:53:27,998 --> 00:53:30,032 - And now you know why that mattress is so wet. 1135 00:53:30,034 --> 00:53:31,833 - [laughs nervously] 1136 00:53:31,835 --> 00:53:33,568 - Circular motions or mixed? 1137 00:53:33,570 --> 00:53:36,071 - HAZEL: Do you need a hand? 'Cause I watched some videos. 1138 00:53:39,510 --> 00:53:42,878 - BOTH: [laughing] 1139 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,280 - What were we even laughing about? 1140 00:53:45,282 --> 00:53:46,882 - I literally can never remember. 1141 00:53:46,884 --> 00:53:49,051 - [laughs] 1142 00:53:49,053 --> 00:53:51,219 - Here, I got you something. 1143 00:53:51,221 --> 00:53:52,721 - Oh, good, another present. 1144 00:53:54,058 --> 00:53:57,693 Oh, oh, thank god. It's just some old newspaper. 1145 00:53:57,695 --> 00:53:59,695 - Oh, no, I just wrapped it in that. 1146 00:53:59,697 --> 00:54:02,964 It's actually an ornament that represents our relationship. 1147 00:54:02,966 --> 00:54:08,170 - Oh. I'll open it later. 1148 00:54:08,172 --> 00:54:10,605 Hey, what is this article? 1149 00:54:10,607 --> 00:54:11,673 - BIG RUSS: I don't know. 1150 00:54:11,675 --> 00:54:13,208 I found it in the mayor's office. 1151 00:54:13,210 --> 00:54:14,743 Now it's all dirty. 1152 00:54:14,745 --> 00:54:18,580 - [sultry jazz music] 1153 00:54:21,685 --> 00:54:22,851 - Um... 1154 00:54:22,853 --> 00:54:27,055 "The mayor's sister, Marianne..." 1155 00:54:27,057 --> 00:54:29,257 Hey, I thought their name was "Coont," not "Urcoont." 1156 00:54:29,259 --> 00:54:30,292 - It was. 1157 00:54:30,294 --> 00:54:32,294 The mayor changed it for the campaign. 1158 00:54:32,296 --> 00:54:34,196 Easier to say. [scoffs] 1159 00:54:34,198 --> 00:54:35,931 It's funny how some people think they can get ahead 1160 00:54:35,933 --> 00:54:37,966 just by changing their whole identity. 1161 00:54:42,072 --> 00:54:44,206 - Russ, there's something I have to tell you. 1162 00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:46,575 - Shhhh! 1163 00:54:48,946 --> 00:54:51,713 You don't even need to say it. 1164 00:54:51,715 --> 00:54:54,850 I'm falling in love with you too. 1165 00:54:54,852 --> 00:54:56,852 - Oh! 1166 00:54:56,854 --> 00:55:02,057 - And...I know it feels wrong to say in front of my dead wife-- 1167 00:55:02,059 --> 00:55:07,529 - [bell chimes] 1168 00:55:07,531 --> 00:55:09,998 - --but these last three days have opened my eyes 1169 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,801 to what love looks like. 1170 00:55:12,803 --> 00:55:16,238 Real love, not dead wife love. 1171 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:20,142 - Oh, Russ. I'm not who I say I am. 1172 00:55:20,144 --> 00:55:23,044 - [romantic music] 1173 00:55:23,046 --> 00:55:24,713 - What was that? 1174 00:55:24,715 --> 00:55:27,682 - Oh, um, I was just saying that I'm not Maggie. 1175 00:55:29,787 --> 00:55:32,387 - What were you saying? - I've been lying to you. 1176 00:55:34,792 --> 00:55:36,224 I'm an undercover reporter. 1177 00:55:38,462 --> 00:55:40,328 My name's Olivia St. LaPelle, and I-- 1178 00:55:42,266 --> 00:55:44,433 This isn't even my real hair. 1179 00:55:44,435 --> 00:55:47,536 - [romantic music continues] 1180 00:55:51,475 --> 00:55:54,242 - I have no idea what you just said. 1181 00:55:54,244 --> 00:55:58,547 All I know is that I love you, Maggie Zeen. 1182 00:55:58,549 --> 00:56:00,749 - I love you too! 1183 00:56:00,751 --> 00:56:05,687 - [romantic music swells] 1184 00:56:11,962 --> 00:56:15,564 - [jazzy music] 1185 00:56:17,401 --> 00:56:22,504 - Uh, hi. I would like a room, please. 1186 00:56:22,506 --> 00:56:27,742 Um, if possible, next to Maggie Zeen. 1187 00:56:27,744 --> 00:56:30,212 - This broad knows Maggie? 1188 00:56:30,214 --> 00:56:32,848 - You look a little funny to me. 1189 00:56:32,850 --> 00:56:35,650 - I do? - Yes. 1190 00:56:35,652 --> 00:56:39,821 You're a suspiciously tall woman. 1191 00:56:39,823 --> 00:56:42,023 - Who did you say you were again? 1192 00:56:42,025 --> 00:56:43,758 - Oh, I'm... 1193 00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,528 um... 1194 00:56:46,530 --> 00:56:48,964 Inn... 1195 00:56:48,966 --> 00:56:52,801 vest... 1196 00:56:52,803 --> 00:56:55,203 ...tigator. 1197 00:56:55,205 --> 00:56:57,405 - An investigator? 1198 00:56:57,407 --> 00:56:59,074 - Oh, -- . 1199 00:56:59,076 --> 00:57:02,210 - Oh! Like you invest in the reptiles! 1200 00:57:02,212 --> 00:57:03,912 - BOTH: [laughing] 1201 00:57:03,914 --> 00:57:07,115 - Why didn't you say so in the first place, girl? 1202 00:57:08,151 --> 00:57:10,185 - Faster. - Oh. 1203 00:57:10,187 --> 00:57:11,686 - [sneaky music] 1204 00:57:11,688 --> 00:57:14,489 - [siren wailing] 1205 00:57:14,491 --> 00:57:22,230 - ♪ 1206 00:57:27,571 --> 00:57:29,604 - Definitely... 1207 00:57:29,606 --> 00:57:33,642 Ooh, a lot of semen. 1208 00:57:33,644 --> 00:57:36,111 Naughty business, huh? 1209 00:57:36,113 --> 00:57:38,580 Ah! 1210 00:57:38,582 --> 00:57:41,316 Well, well, well. 1211 00:57:41,318 --> 00:57:43,919 "Olivia St. LaPelle." 1212 00:57:43,921 --> 00:57:46,955 That's not your name. 1213 00:57:46,957 --> 00:57:48,890 Busted! 1214 00:57:48,892 --> 00:57:51,793 - [sneaky music continues] 1215 00:57:53,897 --> 00:57:57,098 - [phone ringing] 1216 00:57:57,100 --> 00:58:02,704 - Delia? Yeah, I think I got something. 1217 00:58:02,706 --> 00:58:05,140 - Now, the Christmas Feast is one of the most nerve-wracking 1218 00:58:05,142 --> 00:58:07,275 challenges in the Winter Ball. 1219 00:58:07,277 --> 00:58:09,678 - And Mayor Coont never says what she's thinking, 1220 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,180 but there are a few telltale signs. 1221 00:58:12,182 --> 00:58:15,617 If she raises an eyebrow, she likes it. 1222 00:58:18,622 --> 00:58:20,221 - [applause] 1223 00:58:20,223 --> 00:58:21,489 - Yep. - She likes it. 1224 00:58:21,491 --> 00:58:23,191 And if she purses her lips, ooh! 1225 00:58:23,193 --> 00:58:25,393 It's awful. 1226 00:58:25,395 --> 00:58:29,264 - [Christmassy music] 1227 00:58:29,266 --> 00:58:30,865 - KRESTON: Yuck! 1228 00:58:30,867 --> 00:58:34,869 - And if she scratches her head, it's because she has eczema. 1229 00:58:36,873 --> 00:58:39,374 - Careful, honey, it's heavy. 1230 00:58:39,376 --> 00:58:42,344 - [instrumental "Jingle Bells" plays] 1231 00:58:51,188 --> 00:58:52,821 - I'll take seconds. 1232 00:58:52,823 --> 00:58:54,222 - [gasping] 1233 00:58:54,224 --> 00:58:55,824 - [horn fanfare] 1234 00:58:55,826 --> 00:58:57,158 - Oh! - What? 1235 00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,327 For the first time in Winter Ball history, 1236 00:58:59,329 --> 00:59:02,163 the mayor is getting seconds! 1237 00:59:02,165 --> 00:59:04,265 - Yay, I love this part! 1238 00:59:07,070 --> 00:59:10,939 - Well, what's a Christmas feast without a little toast? 1239 00:59:10,941 --> 00:59:13,375 To the Downtown Broads. 1240 00:59:13,377 --> 00:59:15,944 - [cheers and applause] 1241 00:59:15,946 --> 00:59:17,946 - Oh, let's not forget their incomparable leader, 1242 00:59:17,948 --> 00:59:19,180 Maggie Zeen. 1243 00:59:19,182 --> 00:59:20,815 Let's hear it for Maggie Zeen, y'all! 1244 00:59:20,817 --> 00:59:24,619 - [cheers and applause] 1245 00:59:24,621 --> 00:59:30,058 - Or should I say, Olivia St. LaPelle. 1246 00:59:30,060 --> 00:59:32,694 - Olivia St...LaWho? 1247 00:59:32,696 --> 00:59:35,997 - Your little leader is actually an undercover journalist. 1248 00:59:35,999 --> 00:59:37,699 - What? 1249 00:59:37,701 --> 00:59:38,933 - A journalist? 1250 00:59:38,935 --> 00:59:40,702 She makes journals. 1251 00:59:40,704 --> 00:59:42,037 - Yeah. 1252 00:59:42,039 --> 00:59:46,107 - No, she's a reporter writing an exposé on Tuckahoe! 1253 00:59:46,109 --> 00:59:51,212 - [gasping] 1254 00:59:51,214 --> 00:59:55,183 - "It's fitting that I, Olivia, not Maggie, 1255 00:59:55,185 --> 00:59:57,686 "pretended to lead them to victory. 1256 00:59:57,688 --> 01:00:00,155 "After all, I can't imagine a more fitting street 1257 01:00:00,157 --> 01:00:02,223 "to exemplify Tuckahoe, 1258 01:00:02,225 --> 01:00:05,393 "a back-alley cesspool of fugly-ass skanks 1259 01:00:05,395 --> 01:00:07,395 "with no discernable talent. 1260 01:00:07,397 --> 01:00:10,131 And oh yeah, they also smelled like --." 1261 01:00:10,133 --> 01:00:13,034 - [exclaiming] - [indignant gasping] 1262 01:00:13,036 --> 01:00:14,502 - DELIA: Damn, that's good! 1263 01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,007 - Maggie? Is this true? 1264 01:00:19,009 --> 01:00:22,110 - Russ, this is what I was trying to tell you earlier. 1265 01:00:22,112 --> 01:00:24,713 - And now you're gaslighting me? 1266 01:00:24,715 --> 01:00:26,815 Are you even from the Gobi Desert? 1267 01:00:26,817 --> 01:00:30,985 - [indistinct chatter] 1268 01:00:30,987 --> 01:00:36,257 - If these allegations are true, the Downtown Broads will be 1269 01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:41,796 immediately eliminated from this ball. Well? 1270 01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,333 - [indistinct chatter] 1271 01:00:45,335 --> 01:00:46,301 - They're true. 1272 01:00:46,303 --> 01:00:48,036 - [gasping] 1273 01:00:48,038 --> 01:00:49,938 - [exclaiming] 1274 01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:51,239 - They're all true. 1275 01:00:51,241 --> 01:00:52,774 - [gasping, exclaiming] 1276 01:00:52,776 --> 01:00:54,576 - That was a wig? 1277 01:00:54,578 --> 01:01:00,348 - Maggie Zeen, your team is disqualified! 1278 01:01:00,350 --> 01:01:01,483 - [applause] 1279 01:01:01,485 --> 01:01:03,718 - Girls! Girls, I'm so sorry! 1280 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:08,356 - No. You don't come near us. 1281 01:01:08,358 --> 01:01:10,925 You were never a Broad. 1282 01:01:10,927 --> 01:01:12,527 You're just a bitch. 1283 01:01:14,231 --> 01:01:16,531 - GUY IN AUDIENCE: Boo! 1284 01:01:16,533 --> 01:01:19,801 - Wow. I guess print journalism really is dead! 1285 01:01:24,441 --> 01:01:26,307 - BERTRAM: [grunts] 1286 01:01:26,309 --> 01:01:32,313 - [sneaky music] 1287 01:01:32,315 --> 01:01:34,516 - Oh, hi. 1288 01:01:34,518 --> 01:01:37,252 I'm here to open an account. 1289 01:01:37,254 --> 01:01:38,753 Mind if I light up? 1290 01:01:38,755 --> 01:01:43,091 - [groans] 1291 01:01:43,093 --> 01:01:48,196 - Oh, and, uh, by the way, this isn't a deposit. 1292 01:01:48,198 --> 01:01:51,399 It's a withdrawal. 1293 01:01:51,401 --> 01:01:53,168 - [gasps] 1294 01:01:57,207 --> 01:02:01,342 - [sighs] 80085-pound-enter. 1295 01:02:01,344 --> 01:02:03,011 - [alarm blares] 1296 01:02:03,013 --> 01:02:05,380 - [beeping] 1297 01:02:05,382 --> 01:02:08,183 - [sneaky music continues] 1298 01:02:18,495 --> 01:02:21,663 - [zapping] 1299 01:02:23,900 --> 01:02:28,603 - [sneaky music with bells jingling] 1300 01:02:31,107 --> 01:02:33,541 - [chuckles] 1301 01:02:35,645 --> 01:02:39,614 Oh, hello, gorgeous. 1302 01:02:39,616 --> 01:02:42,217 If the crown fits... 1303 01:02:42,219 --> 01:02:44,018 take it. 1304 01:02:46,890 --> 01:02:49,324 [evil laugh] 1305 01:02:49,326 --> 01:02:52,227 - MICHELLE: As Hannah hatched her plan and snatched the crown, 1306 01:02:52,229 --> 01:02:57,031 Olivia packed her bags and said goodbye to that little town. 1307 01:03:02,505 --> 01:03:04,672 - Getting on? 1308 01:03:08,645 --> 01:03:14,716 - [gospel-style music playing] 1309 01:03:17,621 --> 01:03:19,921 - You're not a regular bus driver, are you? 1310 01:03:19,923 --> 01:03:23,324 - Of course not, hon! I'm the spirit of Christmas. 1311 01:03:23,326 --> 01:03:27,028 - So are you gonna take me to scenes from my past and... 1312 01:03:27,030 --> 01:03:29,397 hopefully change my perspective about Christmas? 1313 01:03:29,399 --> 01:03:31,933 - You're about to see all the moments 1314 01:03:31,935 --> 01:03:35,270 that made you who you are, Madelyn. 1315 01:03:35,272 --> 01:03:38,206 - Madelyn? Who's Madelyn? 1316 01:03:38,208 --> 01:03:39,307 - You're not Madelyn? 1317 01:03:39,309 --> 01:03:43,211 - No, I'm Olivia. - -- ! 1318 01:03:43,213 --> 01:03:44,579 - [music ends abruptly] 1319 01:03:44,581 --> 01:03:46,848 - Why, I was supposed to be Madelyn's spirit guide tonight. 1320 01:03:46,850 --> 01:03:48,449 Where the -- is she? 1321 01:03:48,451 --> 01:03:49,717 - I, I don't--I don't know. 1322 01:03:49,719 --> 01:03:52,320 I'm--I'm sorry I can't help you. 1323 01:03:52,322 --> 01:03:57,825 - [sighs] Well, you look like you're goin' through something. 1324 01:03:57,827 --> 01:04:00,194 Maybe we can work out your stuff instead. 1325 01:04:00,196 --> 01:04:01,429 - Okay, yeah, sure. 1326 01:04:01,431 --> 01:04:04,899 - Hang on, baby. 1327 01:04:04,901 --> 01:04:08,403 - [wondrous, mysterious music] 1328 01:04:08,405 --> 01:04:11,272 - Wow. Where are we? 1329 01:04:11,274 --> 01:04:13,308 - Girl, I don't know. This is your past. 1330 01:04:18,715 --> 01:04:20,281 - HANNAH: Olivia! 1331 01:04:20,283 --> 01:04:22,650 You drop one more call and you're back out on the street 1332 01:04:22,652 --> 01:04:24,319 where I found you. 1333 01:04:24,321 --> 01:04:27,021 - Yes, Hannah. 1334 01:04:27,023 --> 01:04:29,023 - HANNAH: Now I'm off for my third lunch, baby. 1335 01:04:29,025 --> 01:04:31,326 Those articles better be proofread and on my desk 1336 01:04:31,328 --> 01:04:33,528 by the end of the day. 1337 01:04:33,530 --> 01:04:36,264 - But, isn't it Christmas? 1338 01:04:36,266 --> 01:04:39,634 - Christmas? Who cares about Christmas? 1339 01:04:39,636 --> 01:04:42,704 The one thing that's gonna make you happy in this bankrupt world 1340 01:04:42,706 --> 01:04:45,440 is a promotion! Remember that! 1341 01:04:50,413 --> 01:04:54,415 - [sound of typing] 1342 01:04:58,088 --> 01:05:01,956 - Hey, there, girly. Uh, what are you doing? 1343 01:05:01,958 --> 01:05:05,426 - Working, like always. 1344 01:05:05,428 --> 01:05:06,794 - Oh, why don't you take a break? 1345 01:05:06,796 --> 01:05:08,997 You know, go outside, make some friends? 1346 01:05:11,368 --> 01:05:13,634 Stop it. Stop. 1347 01:05:13,636 --> 01:05:16,504 Stop working. No-- 1348 01:05:16,506 --> 01:05:18,039 Stop it! Don't-- 1349 01:05:18,942 --> 01:05:21,576 Just--just look at me! Hey! 1350 01:05:21,578 --> 01:05:24,679 - It's almost as if you always threw yourself into work because 1351 01:05:24,681 --> 01:05:27,515 that's where you derive all your worth. 1352 01:05:27,517 --> 01:05:29,017 Come on. 1353 01:05:29,019 --> 01:05:31,052 - But how was I supposed to know any better? 1354 01:05:31,054 --> 01:05:34,088 My parents abandoned me on a goddamn stoop. 1355 01:05:34,090 --> 01:05:35,957 - It's because you didn't have parents who accepted you that 1356 01:05:35,959 --> 01:05:41,329 you grew up thinking that you weren't worthy of love? 1357 01:05:41,331 --> 01:05:42,730 - Damn, you're good at this. 1358 01:05:42,732 --> 01:05:45,266 - That's why they pay me the big bucks. 1359 01:05:45,268 --> 01:05:46,968 Speaking of... 1360 01:05:46,970 --> 01:05:49,037 Mm-hmm, oh yeah, mm-hmm. 1361 01:05:49,039 --> 01:05:52,507 So, traveling to the past, uh-huh. 1362 01:05:52,509 --> 01:05:56,110 Speaking to your younger self, ah-ha. 1363 01:05:56,112 --> 01:06:00,815 And resolving some childhood trauma, okay. 1364 01:06:00,817 --> 01:06:04,919 Comes out to...hm. 1365 01:06:04,921 --> 01:06:06,821 - Guess therapy isn't free anywhere, right? 1366 01:06:06,823 --> 01:06:08,823 - BOTH: [laughing] 1367 01:06:08,825 --> 01:06:10,591 - Will this be debit or credit? 1368 01:06:10,593 --> 01:06:11,926 - Uh, debit. - Okay. 1369 01:06:13,163 --> 01:06:15,063 [moaning] 1370 01:06:15,065 --> 01:06:16,164 - BUS DRIVER: Yo, lady? 1371 01:06:16,166 --> 01:06:17,832 - [gasps] 1372 01:06:20,270 --> 01:06:23,271 - One way to New York, are you coming or not? 1373 01:06:23,273 --> 01:06:24,539 - Oh. 1374 01:06:29,179 --> 01:06:31,412 - Oh, I seen this look before. 1375 01:06:31,414 --> 01:06:33,381 Don't tell me you got some unfinished business to-- 1376 01:06:33,383 --> 01:06:36,017 - I've got some unfinished business to take care of. 1377 01:06:39,589 --> 01:06:41,055 - Excuse me? 1378 01:06:42,725 --> 01:06:45,460 Is this the Spirit of Christmas? 1379 01:06:45,462 --> 01:06:48,329 - The -- no. Who are you? 1380 01:06:48,331 --> 01:06:51,866 - I'm...Madelyn? 1381 01:06:54,537 --> 01:06:55,470 Take me to the church. 1382 01:06:58,942 --> 01:07:03,744 - [sad instrumental music] 1383 01:07:03,746 --> 01:07:06,714 - All right, say your goodbyes, ladies. 1384 01:07:06,716 --> 01:07:09,851 - OTHERS: Goodbyes, ladies. 1385 01:07:09,853 --> 01:07:11,419 - [door opens] 1386 01:07:11,421 --> 01:07:14,989 - OLIVIA: Wait, wait! Don't! 1387 01:07:14,991 --> 01:07:16,991 - Don't what? - I don't know. 1388 01:07:16,993 --> 01:07:18,826 I haven't thought past that part. 1389 01:07:18,828 --> 01:07:20,728 - What are you doing here? 1390 01:07:20,730 --> 01:07:23,698 Come to stab us in the back again? 1391 01:07:23,700 --> 01:07:27,168 - Look, I came back because I think we can still save the inn. 1392 01:07:27,170 --> 01:07:31,906 What if I told you there is a loophole? 1393 01:07:31,908 --> 01:07:34,342 Look, it says here on page 46, article A7-- 1394 01:07:34,344 --> 01:07:36,944 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1395 01:07:36,946 --> 01:07:40,181 You mean to tell us that you found this book right before 1396 01:07:40,183 --> 01:07:42,984 the last challenge? - Yeah. 1397 01:07:46,189 --> 01:07:48,122 - Okay. - Checks out, it makes sense. 1398 01:07:48,124 --> 01:07:52,293 - It says, "Any team competing in the Winter Ball can only be 1399 01:07:52,295 --> 01:07:55,096 disqualified on the name of its leader." 1400 01:07:55,098 --> 01:07:56,597 Which means, yes, the Broads 1401 01:07:56,599 --> 01:07:59,100 were disqualified under Maggie Zeen. 1402 01:07:59,102 --> 01:08:02,904 But we can still compete under Olivia St. LaPelle. 1403 01:08:02,906 --> 01:08:06,007 - Oh, right! Your real name. 1404 01:08:06,009 --> 01:08:08,009 - [grumbling] 1405 01:08:08,011 --> 01:08:09,343 - You know what? 1406 01:08:11,748 --> 01:08:13,114 - She's climbing it. 1407 01:08:13,116 --> 01:08:15,449 - Why is she always climbing up on everything? 1408 01:08:15,451 --> 01:08:17,885 - I'm sorry I lied to you. 1409 01:08:17,887 --> 01:08:19,754 But I didn't have any friends growing up. 1410 01:08:19,756 --> 01:08:22,790 I didn't even have any family. 1411 01:08:22,792 --> 01:08:27,595 But what I realized over this last week is that I found both. 1412 01:08:27,597 --> 01:08:31,732 And I am not gonna let a Pulitzer Prize-worthy exposé 1413 01:08:31,734 --> 01:08:34,235 get in the way of that. 1414 01:08:34,237 --> 01:08:39,240 Because families, honey, we stick together. 1415 01:08:39,242 --> 01:08:41,576 Just like the boards holding up this inn. 1416 01:08:41,578 --> 01:08:43,377 - [rumbling, loud crash] 1417 01:08:46,282 --> 01:08:49,650 - Oh, oh! Eew! 1418 01:08:49,652 --> 01:08:52,420 What kind of purgatory -- ? 1419 01:08:52,422 --> 01:08:53,588 Hmph! 1420 01:08:56,859 --> 01:08:59,493 - All I can say is... 1421 01:08:59,495 --> 01:09:02,196 that I choose you, ladies. 1422 01:09:02,198 --> 01:09:04,365 And all I'm asking is that you choose me too. 1423 01:09:09,472 --> 01:09:13,374 I understand. 1424 01:09:13,376 --> 01:09:15,009 - Hey, Olivia? 1425 01:09:17,213 --> 01:09:21,515 We can't compete with just four. Come on. 1426 01:09:21,517 --> 01:09:23,050 - Really? - OTHERS: Yessss! 1427 01:09:23,052 --> 01:09:25,620 - Oh, thank goodness! I missed you. 1428 01:09:28,741 --> 01:09:31,943 - [tinkling sound] - [instrumental music swells] 1429 01:09:31,945 --> 01:09:33,244 - We are on the final performance 1430 01:09:33,246 --> 01:09:34,478 of our Christmas pageant, 1431 01:09:34,480 --> 01:09:37,348 and it's all been leading up to this. 1432 01:09:37,350 --> 01:09:38,416 It's Kittenheel Court performing 1433 01:09:38,418 --> 01:09:41,185 a heartfelt interpretive dance piece, 1434 01:09:41,187 --> 01:09:44,922 "The Snow Is White and So Am I." 1435 01:09:44,924 --> 01:09:50,861 - [slow, wondrous music] 1436 01:10:10,984 --> 01:10:14,852 ♪♪ 1437 01:10:14,854 --> 01:10:17,421 - [cheers and applause] 1438 01:10:18,391 --> 01:10:21,792 - Yeah, well--and that's it, folks. 1439 01:10:21,794 --> 01:10:23,260 - [mic feedback] 1440 01:10:25,431 --> 01:10:28,165 - Well, it appears the Broads are back. 1441 01:10:28,167 --> 01:10:30,935 - This ain't Christmas anymore, bitch. 1442 01:10:30,937 --> 01:10:34,038 It's Sis-mas! 1443 01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:37,775 ♪ Every Christmas, working to the bone ♪ 1444 01:10:37,777 --> 01:10:39,310 ♪ Seven-dollar loan ♪ 1445 01:10:39,312 --> 01:10:42,013 ♪ That's until I found a home ♪ 1446 01:10:42,015 --> 01:10:45,449 - ♪ Each December, fighting wild dogs ♪ 1447 01:10:45,451 --> 01:10:47,518 ♪ A little light tax fraud ♪ 1448 01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,087 ♪ That's until I found my broads ♪ 1449 01:10:50,089 --> 01:10:52,223 - ♪ Christmas ain't about ♪ 1450 01:10:52,225 --> 01:10:54,158 ♪ Sitting on a couch ♪ 1451 01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:57,661 ♪ It's a girls' night out ♪ 1452 01:10:57,663 --> 01:11:01,732 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1453 01:11:01,734 --> 01:11:05,636 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1454 01:11:05,638 --> 01:11:09,507 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1455 01:11:09,509 --> 01:11:11,842 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1456 01:11:11,844 --> 01:11:14,211 ♪ G-I-R-L ♪ 1457 01:11:14,213 --> 01:11:17,748 - [interlude] 1458 01:11:17,750 --> 01:11:21,385 - ♪ Now each season, crashing all the fun ♪ 1459 01:11:21,387 --> 01:11:23,621 ♪ Like a hit and run ♪ 1460 01:11:23,623 --> 01:11:25,790 Literally, I did a hit and run today. 1461 01:11:25,792 --> 01:11:27,691 - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, Kitti under your tree ♪ 1462 01:11:27,693 --> 01:11:29,627 ♪ Your finger in my stocking, my hand on your D ♪ 1463 01:11:29,629 --> 01:11:31,595 ♪ You cross my girls, you'll catch a fist! ♪ 1464 01:11:31,597 --> 01:11:33,964 ♪ My bottom's on top of the naughty list ♪ 1465 01:11:33,966 --> 01:11:36,200 - ♪ Christmas ain't about ♪ 1466 01:11:36,202 --> 01:11:38,235 ♪ Sittin' on the couch ♪ 1467 01:11:38,237 --> 01:11:41,639 - ♪ It's a girls' night out ♪ 1468 01:11:41,641 --> 01:11:45,676 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1469 01:11:45,678 --> 01:11:49,647 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1470 01:11:49,649 --> 01:11:53,517 ♪ You can't start fire without raising hell ♪ 1471 01:11:53,519 --> 01:11:55,886 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1472 01:11:55,888 --> 01:11:58,355 ♪ G-I-R-L ♪ 1473 01:11:58,357 --> 01:12:01,759 - ♪ They say I have no personality ♪ 1474 01:12:01,761 --> 01:12:05,729 ♪ Well, I found a mole on my thigh today ♪ 1475 01:12:05,731 --> 01:12:10,167 ♪ Now I'm gonna make it my thing ♪ 1476 01:12:10,169 --> 01:12:12,570 ♪ Watch out, world, it's Mole Girl, yeah ♪ 1477 01:12:12,572 --> 01:12:15,840 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1478 01:12:15,842 --> 01:12:19,543 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho-ho-hos ♪ 1479 01:12:19,545 --> 01:12:23,481 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1480 01:12:23,483 --> 01:12:25,716 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1481 01:12:25,718 --> 01:12:27,785 - ♪ Can't spell Christmas without-- ♪ 1482 01:12:27,787 --> 01:12:29,954 - ♪ Can't spell Christmas without-- ♪ 1483 01:12:29,956 --> 01:12:31,922 - ♪ G-I-R-L ♪ 1484 01:12:31,924 --> 01:12:34,325 - E! 1485 01:12:34,327 --> 01:12:36,894 - [cheers and applause] 1486 01:12:39,966 --> 01:12:41,465 - That was incredible, Kreston. 1487 01:12:41,467 --> 01:12:45,136 Have you ever seen anything so surprising? 1488 01:12:45,138 --> 01:12:47,338 - Well, not since I found some guy's hair 1489 01:12:47,340 --> 01:12:51,142 on my wife's pillow this morning. 1490 01:12:51,144 --> 01:12:52,443 - Look over there! 1491 01:12:52,445 --> 01:12:54,745 The mayor is ready to make her decision! 1492 01:12:54,747 --> 01:12:57,815 - This was an incredibly tough decision. 1493 01:13:00,486 --> 01:13:02,920 I thought long and hard. 1494 01:13:04,590 --> 01:13:08,993 The winner of this year's Winter Ball is-- 1495 01:13:08,995 --> 01:13:10,995 - The crown! It's gone! 1496 01:13:10,997 --> 01:13:12,263 Someone stole it. 1497 01:13:12,265 --> 01:13:14,131 - [gasping] 1498 01:13:14,133 --> 01:13:16,700 - What!? - No, no, no. 1499 01:13:16,702 --> 01:13:19,537 - It's her! She must've stolen it. 1500 01:13:19,539 --> 01:13:22,239 We all read her exposé. She's obsessed with the crown! 1501 01:13:22,241 --> 01:13:24,909 - [crowd jeering] 1502 01:13:27,213 --> 01:13:29,780 - Hey, hey! - It wasn't me, I swear! 1503 01:13:29,782 --> 01:13:32,483 - Well, if you didn't steal it, then who did? 1504 01:13:32,485 --> 01:13:34,318 - GUY IN CROWD: Get out of Tuckahoe, you bitch! 1505 01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:36,086 - But it's just a silly little crown, 1506 01:13:36,088 --> 01:13:39,590 and not something to plan your entire year/life around. 1507 01:13:39,592 --> 01:13:42,259 - The ultimate winter accessory 1508 01:13:42,261 --> 01:13:46,297 that will have the world reading this exposé. 1509 01:13:46,299 --> 01:13:47,731 - She used to write for the local paper, 1510 01:13:47,733 --> 01:13:50,668 but nobody ever read her articles. 1511 01:13:50,670 --> 01:13:55,773 - [wondrous, mysterious music] 1512 01:13:57,610 --> 01:13:59,710 - [laughs] 1513 01:13:59,712 --> 01:14:01,979 - It was her! Hannah Contour! 1514 01:14:01,981 --> 01:14:04,215 - [gasping] 1515 01:14:04,217 --> 01:14:09,153 - Also known as Marianne Urcoont. 1516 01:14:09,155 --> 01:14:10,788 - [gasping] 1517 01:14:10,790 --> 01:14:13,490 - Take a picture. It'll last longer. 1518 01:14:13,492 --> 01:14:16,427 - [stutters] My sister!? 1519 01:14:16,429 --> 01:14:17,895 - That's right. 1520 01:14:17,897 --> 01:14:20,564 I should've known it when I saw her name in the paper! 1521 01:14:20,566 --> 01:14:23,534 "Urcoont" is anagram for "Contour"! 1522 01:14:23,536 --> 01:14:25,636 - [gasping, exclaiming] 1523 01:14:25,638 --> 01:14:29,907 - So, you finally figured it out. 1524 01:14:29,909 --> 01:14:31,542 Bravo. 1525 01:14:34,447 --> 01:14:37,781 Aren't you the smart one? 1526 01:14:37,783 --> 01:14:39,950 [chuckles] 1527 01:14:39,952 --> 01:14:44,655 I knew only you could sniff out the crown. 1528 01:14:44,657 --> 01:14:48,025 And when I learned you found out 1529 01:14:48,027 --> 01:14:50,761 the code for the vault 1530 01:14:50,763 --> 01:14:55,366 after spying on Mayor Coont and Bertram's affair... 1531 01:14:55,368 --> 01:14:57,001 - [gasping] - [sounds of disgust] 1532 01:14:57,003 --> 01:14:58,168 - Bertram? 1533 01:14:58,170 --> 01:14:59,670 - An affair? 1534 01:14:59,672 --> 01:15:02,640 - I knew what I had to do. 1535 01:15:02,642 --> 01:15:04,708 - Oh! 1536 01:15:04,710 --> 01:15:06,510 - [laughs] 1537 01:15:06,512 --> 01:15:10,614 - There's still one thing that I haven't figured out. 1538 01:15:10,616 --> 01:15:11,882 Why? 1539 01:15:11,884 --> 01:15:15,986 - I needed to sell the crown so I could save "Gorge." 1540 01:15:15,988 --> 01:15:17,454 - Save it? 1541 01:15:17,456 --> 01:15:22,993 - The magazine's been failing for years and years. 1542 01:15:22,995 --> 01:15:26,063 Print journalism is dead. 1543 01:15:26,065 --> 01:15:27,364 - Everything's online. 1544 01:15:27,366 --> 01:15:28,732 - HANNAH: It's gone the way of the dinosaur. 1545 01:15:28,734 --> 01:15:30,234 - [indistinct chatter] - Oh, okay. 1546 01:15:30,236 --> 01:15:32,836 - I mean, magazines are dead. 1547 01:15:32,838 --> 01:15:35,105 That's why I had to steal the crown! 1548 01:15:37,009 --> 01:15:38,409 Isn't it pretty? 1549 01:15:38,411 --> 01:15:42,146 - But Marianne, I thought you disappeared! 1550 01:15:42,148 --> 01:15:45,683 - Marianne? Child, please. 1551 01:15:45,685 --> 01:15:50,321 Marianne is long gone, okay? 1552 01:15:50,323 --> 01:15:54,558 She left the day you humiliated me. 1553 01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:58,495 Remember when you made me accept this crown for our street? 1554 01:15:58,497 --> 01:16:00,297 Remember that? 1555 01:16:00,299 --> 01:16:04,201 And when I lifted it onto my head and my belly bursted out of 1556 01:16:04,203 --> 01:16:08,372 my gorgeous corset because I was nine months pregnant? 1557 01:16:08,374 --> 01:16:11,041 You remember that? 1558 01:16:11,043 --> 01:16:13,544 You humiliated me. 1559 01:16:13,546 --> 01:16:16,146 - Russ, apprehend that woman. Get my crown! 1560 01:16:16,148 --> 01:16:20,050 - Oh no, you better don't. You better back up. 1561 01:16:20,052 --> 01:16:22,453 I said, you better back up! 1562 01:16:22,455 --> 01:16:25,122 'Cause I got me an appointment. 1563 01:16:25,124 --> 01:16:26,256 I got an appointment with 1564 01:16:26,258 --> 01:16:28,492 a sheikh who has a penchant for what? 1565 01:16:28,494 --> 01:16:32,696 Headwear! Headwear. 1566 01:16:32,698 --> 01:16:35,699 He has a penchant for headwear. 1567 01:16:35,701 --> 01:16:38,035 And I'm not gonna miss this meeting. 1568 01:16:38,037 --> 01:16:39,703 Uh-uh. So Russ, 1569 01:16:39,705 --> 01:16:42,573 you better back up, because that right there? 1570 01:16:42,575 --> 01:16:44,274 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1571 01:16:44,276 --> 01:16:46,643 - [gasping] 1572 01:16:46,645 --> 01:16:50,647 - Honey, that's my ride. Yoo-hoo! 1573 01:16:53,085 --> 01:16:56,153 - Christ on a cracker, she's going up the Christmas tree, 1574 01:16:56,155 --> 01:16:57,821 Olivia. Do something! 1575 01:16:57,823 --> 01:17:00,023 - Is she going to jump from there? 1576 01:17:00,025 --> 01:17:02,493 - [suspenseful music] 1577 01:17:02,495 --> 01:17:08,165 - [grunting] 1578 01:17:08,167 --> 01:17:09,900 - Come with me, Olivia! 1579 01:17:09,902 --> 01:17:15,339 I'll give you that promotion you've always dreamed of! 1580 01:17:15,341 --> 01:17:16,440 - You mean... 1581 01:17:16,442 --> 01:17:18,942 Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief? 1582 01:17:18,944 --> 01:17:20,110 - Better! 1583 01:17:20,112 --> 01:17:25,015 Chief Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief! 1584 01:17:25,017 --> 01:17:25,949 - [gasps] 1585 01:17:25,951 --> 01:17:28,685 - We have to save "Gorge" Olivia! 1586 01:17:28,687 --> 01:17:31,121 You and me, we're the same. 1587 01:17:31,123 --> 01:17:35,192 We're--we're nobodies without our careers. 1588 01:17:35,194 --> 01:17:37,394 - I am nothing like you! 1589 01:17:37,396 --> 01:17:39,496 - Are you so sure about that? 1590 01:17:39,498 --> 01:17:43,667 Aren't you curious about my pregnancy all those years ago? 1591 01:17:43,669 --> 01:17:47,137 Who I was pregnant with? 1592 01:17:47,139 --> 01:17:51,108 Your parents never abandoned you on that stoop, Olivia. 1593 01:17:51,110 --> 01:17:53,410 It was a lie! 1594 01:17:53,412 --> 01:17:56,814 - What? No! No, that can't be! 1595 01:17:56,816 --> 01:18:01,752 - I gave birth to you on the steps of "Gorge"! 1596 01:18:01,754 --> 01:18:04,521 I knew if the magazine found out I was a mother, 1597 01:18:04,523 --> 01:18:07,558 I'd never get as far. 1598 01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:12,963 So I did what I had to do our family. 1599 01:18:12,965 --> 01:18:14,531 - Our family? 1600 01:18:14,533 --> 01:18:16,366 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1601 01:18:16,368 --> 01:18:20,637 - You were never my mother! [grunts] 1602 01:18:20,639 --> 01:18:23,373 - [ornament breaks] - Ow! Bitch! 1603 01:18:23,375 --> 01:18:27,277 I've always been your mother! 1604 01:18:27,279 --> 01:18:28,712 - Aah! 1605 01:18:29,982 --> 01:18:34,418 Well, a mother would not make her daughter her assistant! 1606 01:18:34,420 --> 01:18:35,886 Aah! - [exclaiming] 1607 01:18:35,888 --> 01:18:38,155 - You cheated on me with her? 1608 01:18:38,157 --> 01:18:39,590 - Oh, don't you hit him! 1609 01:18:39,592 --> 01:18:42,359 - You got my sister pregnant! 1610 01:18:42,361 --> 01:18:44,628 - Your grandpa's your father's dad? 1611 01:18:44,630 --> 01:18:46,730 - And I'm taking the kids. 1612 01:18:46,732 --> 01:18:49,500 - You -- my wife, didn't you? 1613 01:18:49,502 --> 01:18:51,602 - Only 'cause you -- mine! 1614 01:18:51,604 --> 01:18:54,538 - I hate myself. I hate myself. 1615 01:18:54,540 --> 01:18:55,939 - Snap out of it! 1616 01:18:55,941 --> 01:19:00,143 - [slapping] 1617 01:19:00,145 --> 01:19:02,446 - Give me that crown! - OLIVIA: No! No! 1618 01:19:02,448 --> 01:19:03,814 - Give it to me! 1619 01:19:03,816 --> 01:19:05,983 - It doesn't matter if you're my mother... 1620 01:19:05,985 --> 01:19:07,985 'cause I found my real family. 1621 01:19:07,987 --> 01:19:11,922 And they are right down there! 1622 01:19:11,924 --> 01:19:13,724 [grunts] 1623 01:19:13,726 --> 01:19:16,627 - [exclaiming, gasping] 1624 01:19:20,399 --> 01:19:23,233 - It's saved! The crown is saved! 1625 01:19:23,235 --> 01:19:27,571 - [cheers and applause] 1626 01:19:27,573 --> 01:19:30,340 - You dumb bitch! 1627 01:19:30,342 --> 01:19:32,843 We could've had it all, 1628 01:19:32,845 --> 01:19:35,245 but you had to throw it away! 1629 01:19:35,247 --> 01:19:37,214 You had to throw it away! 1630 01:19:37,216 --> 01:19:42,319 Well, looks like that promotion is going to Tristan after all! 1631 01:19:46,392 --> 01:19:48,458 Goodbye, Olivia! 1632 01:19:48,460 --> 01:19:52,462 - ["Ride of the Valkyries" plays] 1633 01:19:52,464 --> 01:19:54,698 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1634 01:19:54,700 --> 01:19:57,401 - Are you safe? 1635 01:19:57,403 --> 01:19:58,702 Stop it. 1636 01:20:01,273 --> 01:20:02,806 - What? Did you Broads really think 1637 01:20:02,808 --> 01:20:04,775 your little loophole would work? 1638 01:20:04,777 --> 01:20:08,211 Did you forget you missed, like, 98% of this pageant? 1639 01:20:08,213 --> 01:20:10,213 - We weren't here. I didn't understand. 1640 01:20:10,215 --> 01:20:11,548 Was there a schedule? 1641 01:20:11,550 --> 01:20:13,884 - That is true. 1642 01:20:13,886 --> 01:20:18,789 Oh, Kittenheel Court wins the Winter Ball! 1643 01:20:18,791 --> 01:20:20,557 - [horn and drum fanfare] 1644 01:20:20,559 --> 01:20:23,927 - Oh, no, no! 1645 01:20:23,929 --> 01:20:26,730 - As winter queen, my first order of business is 1646 01:20:26,732 --> 01:20:30,467 destroying your little inn. Bulldozers! 1647 01:20:30,469 --> 01:20:32,035 - [bulldozers start up] 1648 01:20:32,037 --> 01:20:34,371 - Well, that's it, girls. 1649 01:20:34,373 --> 01:20:39,643 Now we'll never have enough money to--to pay the loan! 1650 01:20:39,645 --> 01:20:43,046 - Oh, it's okay. We'll figure it out. 1651 01:20:43,048 --> 01:20:47,417 - After saving the crown, it's the least we can do. 1652 01:20:47,419 --> 01:20:48,986 - That's--that's for us? 1653 01:20:48,988 --> 01:20:50,654 - [cheers and applause] 1654 01:20:50,656 --> 01:20:52,389 - Oh, oh! 1655 01:20:55,561 --> 01:21:00,931 - [exclaiming] 1656 01:21:00,933 --> 01:21:03,967 - Do I have to take my top off? Oh, oh, it's real! 1657 01:21:03,969 --> 01:21:05,302 - Oh, no, keep your top on 1658 01:21:05,304 --> 01:21:07,738 if you want them to keep throwing money. 1659 01:21:07,740 --> 01:21:10,307 - [exclaiming] 1660 01:21:16,181 --> 01:21:20,651 - Well, I think this should cover it. 1661 01:21:20,653 --> 01:21:23,153 - [muffled speech] 1662 01:21:23,155 --> 01:21:26,390 - Girls, we did! We saved the inn! 1663 01:21:26,392 --> 01:21:27,924 - [laughter] 1664 01:21:27,926 --> 01:21:30,027 - My Cardigan Outlet! 1665 01:21:30,029 --> 01:21:32,629 This isn't over. Girls, we're leaving. 1666 01:21:32,631 --> 01:21:34,531 - Oh, no, Delia. - Uh-uh. 1667 01:21:34,533 --> 01:21:36,867 - Girls? 1668 01:21:36,869 --> 01:21:38,535 - Hey, Delia. 1669 01:21:38,537 --> 01:21:40,203 I got a little joke for you. 1670 01:21:40,205 --> 01:21:45,409 We voted, and you are no longer the leader of Kittenheel Court. 1671 01:21:45,411 --> 01:21:48,445 And here is the punchline. 1672 01:21:51,350 --> 01:21:53,216 - [cheers and applause] 1673 01:21:53,218 --> 01:21:54,851 - Bertram? 1674 01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:00,457 - You know, that looks great on you. 1675 01:22:03,212 --> 01:22:04,411 - [piano "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"] 1676 01:22:04,413 --> 01:22:06,446 - Oh! - Your customers requested it. 1677 01:22:06,448 --> 01:22:07,848 - Oh, bless them! 1678 01:22:07,850 --> 01:22:10,684 - Olivia, what is all this? 1679 01:22:10,686 --> 01:22:12,085 - [exclaiming] 1680 01:22:12,087 --> 01:22:14,254 - I've never really done this Christmas thing before, 1681 01:22:14,256 --> 01:22:16,890 so I hope you like it. - Thank you. 1682 01:22:16,892 --> 01:22:18,725 - Should we open them together? 1683 01:22:18,727 --> 01:22:20,627 - Yeah! 1684 01:22:20,629 --> 01:22:24,164 - [exclaiming, gasping] 1685 01:22:24,166 --> 01:22:26,967 - Today we're all queens. 1686 01:22:26,969 --> 01:22:29,970 - [exclaiming] 1687 01:22:29,972 --> 01:22:31,705 - [banging on door] 1688 01:22:31,707 --> 01:22:33,206 - Thank you so much. 1689 01:22:33,208 --> 01:22:35,976 - [excited chatter] 1690 01:22:35,978 --> 01:22:37,778 - HAZEL: Oh, you look like... 1691 01:22:37,780 --> 01:22:40,614 - KITTI: Oh, thank you, Danny DeVito, that's very kind. 1692 01:22:40,616 --> 01:22:41,581 - Mayor Coont? 1693 01:22:41,583 --> 01:22:44,518 - Shh! Urcoont. 1694 01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,320 I decided to embrace who I truly am 1695 01:22:47,322 --> 01:22:50,524 after confronting so much of my past yesterday. 1696 01:22:50,526 --> 01:22:55,595 Thank you, Olivia, for saving my town. 1697 01:22:55,597 --> 01:22:57,164 And one more thing. 1698 01:23:01,837 --> 01:23:04,671 - I came back last night after getting into a horrific 1699 01:23:04,673 --> 01:23:06,673 helicopter crash. 1700 01:23:06,675 --> 01:23:10,944 Turns out the Tuckahoe curse is very real. 1701 01:23:10,946 --> 01:23:13,747 - Me and my sister got to talking 1702 01:23:13,749 --> 01:23:15,248 and spent the whole night 1703 01:23:15,250 --> 01:23:20,620 remembering what it was like to be a family again. 1704 01:23:20,622 --> 01:23:24,224 - And I thought about what you said to me in that tree and I-- 1705 01:23:24,226 --> 01:23:27,894 I realized that you always admired me. 1706 01:23:27,896 --> 01:23:32,099 Turns out the appreciation I was searching for all those years 1707 01:23:32,101 --> 01:23:35,669 was right outside my office door. 1708 01:23:35,671 --> 01:23:38,138 And look, I--I may not be good at it, 1709 01:23:38,140 --> 01:23:41,174 and I--I have a lot of time to make up for, 1710 01:23:41,176 --> 01:23:46,947 but I kind of sort of maybe, 1711 01:23:46,949 --> 01:23:50,450 maybe just ready to be a mom. 1712 01:23:50,452 --> 01:23:53,153 If you'll have me, of course. 1713 01:23:54,556 --> 01:23:58,058 Call me...Mother? 1714 01:23:58,060 --> 01:23:59,459 - I don't know. 1715 01:23:59,461 --> 01:24:01,695 I think that's gonna take a long time. 1716 01:24:01,697 --> 01:24:07,200 - Hm. I understand. 1717 01:24:07,202 --> 01:24:10,904 - But today...we're all family. 1718 01:24:10,906 --> 01:24:14,274 - Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh! 1719 01:24:14,276 --> 01:24:17,611 Oh, come on, sis! Come on, sissy! 1720 01:24:22,718 --> 01:24:25,118 - Olivia, you were right. 1721 01:24:25,120 --> 01:24:27,120 What we have is real, 1722 01:24:27,122 --> 01:24:30,690 even if you are Maggie-- or Olivia, or Olaggie, 1723 01:24:30,692 --> 01:24:34,761 or Magivia, or Tina, or Stephanie. 1724 01:24:34,763 --> 01:24:36,263 - Oh, Russ! 1725 01:24:36,265 --> 01:24:41,234 - What I'm trying to say is... 1726 01:24:41,236 --> 01:24:43,970 Will you marry me? 1727 01:24:43,972 --> 01:24:46,373 - Russ... 1728 01:24:46,375 --> 01:24:48,875 haven't we only known each other for, like, four days? 1729 01:24:48,877 --> 01:24:52,312 - [ding] - Yeah, you're right. 1730 01:24:52,314 --> 01:24:54,915 What am I doing? - I don't know! 1731 01:24:54,917 --> 01:24:56,449 - Can you imagine if you said yes? 1732 01:24:56,451 --> 01:24:58,585 - [laughs] Oh my god, you're so crazy! 1733 01:24:58,587 --> 01:25:00,587 Come on in here. Take your shirt off. 1734 01:25:00,589 --> 01:25:02,189 - Okay. 1735 01:25:02,191 --> 01:25:04,824 - Oh, hello. - Hello, Russ. 1736 01:25:04,826 --> 01:25:07,127 - MICHELLE: On that morning, Olivia saw it, 1737 01:25:07,129 --> 01:25:09,462 all the rainbow hues. 1738 01:25:09,464 --> 01:25:12,098 A kaleidoscope of family-- 1739 01:25:12,100 --> 01:25:14,000 the family you choose. 1740 01:25:14,002 --> 01:25:18,371 And what is Christmas if not a silly little stunt 1741 01:25:18,373 --> 01:25:21,208 for family to come together 1742 01:25:21,210 --> 01:25:24,744 and absolutely serve... 1743 01:25:24,746 --> 01:25:25,779 Coont. 1744 01:25:25,781 --> 01:25:27,814 - Now let the music play. 1745 01:25:27,816 --> 01:25:29,583 - [cheering] 1746 01:25:29,585 --> 01:25:31,451 - ♪ Christmas ain't about ♪ 1747 01:25:31,453 --> 01:25:33,420 ♪ Sitting on the couch ♪ 1748 01:25:33,422 --> 01:25:36,856 ♪ It's a girls' night out ♪ 1749 01:25:36,858 --> 01:25:40,827 ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1750 01:25:40,829 --> 01:25:44,698 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1751 01:25:44,700 --> 01:25:48,635 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1752 01:25:48,637 --> 01:25:51,037 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1753 01:25:51,039 --> 01:25:53,206 ♪ G-I-R-L ♪ 1754 01:25:53,208 --> 01:25:54,808 - E! 1755 01:25:54,810 --> 01:25:59,546 - [cheering]