1
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:37,543
-Oh, oh, oh, oh. [laughs]
-[grunting]
2
00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:39,626
[grunts, sighs]
3
00:00:41,043 --> 00:00:45,626
[theme song whistling]
4
00:00:54,084 --> 00:00:56,334
[Greg narrating] What's great about
having an older brother
5
00:00:56,418 --> 00:00:58,001
is that they can teach you stuff,
6
00:00:58,084 --> 00:01:00,209
because they've gone through
all of it before you.
7
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,126
[students cheer]
8
00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:03,251
At least that's the way
it's supposed to be.
9
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:04,251
[snoring]
10
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:07,293
But my brother Rodrick's too busy
to teach his little brother anything.
11
00:01:09,751 --> 00:01:11,918
I guess
I'm just not a big priority for him
12
00:01:12,751 --> 00:01:15,251
because all his free time
just goes to his band.
13
00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:20,793
The thing is, if Rodrick
would just take me under his wing,
14
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,709
I could totally surprise him.
15
00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,918
And that would really change things
for us.
16
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:28,293
[crowd cheers]
17
00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:31,459
But I guess that's just not gonna happen.
18
00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:33,459
And before long, Rodrick will move out,
19
00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:35,751
and I'll have to figure things out
for myself.
20
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:38,418
[coughs]
21
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:39,709
[both snoring]
22
00:01:39,793 --> 00:01:42,668
But as long as the two of us are
living under the same roof,
23
00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:45,876
I'm gonna soak up every bit
of big brother knowledge I can get.
24
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:53,876
[theme song ends]
25
00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:56,876
[video game beeping on television]
26
00:01:56,959 --> 00:02:01,043
[announcer on TV] Player has received
Hammer of Ultimate Smashing!
27
00:02:01,584 --> 00:02:04,584
Smash, smash…
28
00:02:04,668 --> 00:02:08,626
Ooh. Ready, aim, fire!
29
00:02:08,709 --> 00:02:09,709
Manny!
30
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:10,876
Aw.
31
00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:13,459
Boys, the stuff in the dishwasher
is clean.
32
00:02:13,543 --> 00:02:16,084
You just need to put the dishes away
before we get back.
33
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:18,168
Okay, yeah.
I got your hair dryer and my belt.
34
00:02:18,251 --> 00:02:20,584
Um, was that-- Was--
[stammers] Am I forgetting something?
35
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:22,709
Your pants?
36
00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:25,376
Right. My pants.
37
00:02:26,209 --> 00:02:28,084
Wait. Where are you guys going again?
38
00:02:29,209 --> 00:02:32,334
Your father and I are going
into the city for our anniversary.
39
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,751
You're going away? Like, overnight?
40
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,293
Two nights, Greg.
41
00:02:37,376 --> 00:02:40,084
Come on, Greg.
We've been over this a hundred times.
42
00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:42,376
But-- But how are we gonna
take care of ourselves?
43
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:43,918
What about Manny?
44
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:46,418
-[mom] Manny's staying with Gramma.
-[grunts] Hey!
45
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:51,293
And you boys will be just fine.
I stocked up on groceries.
46
00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:52,584
-Groceries?
-[both gasp]
47
00:02:52,668 --> 00:02:53,793
Did you get snacks?
48
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:55,668
-[grunting]
-I refuse to buy junk food for you guys.
49
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:59,251
I've told you before, if you want snacks,
you can buy them for yourselves.
50
00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:00,501
Mommy, gimme!
51
00:03:00,584 --> 00:03:02,084
Ugh, fine.
52
00:03:02,168 --> 00:03:04,043
[paper rustling]
53
00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:05,668
-[both groan]
-[Rodrick] I'm cashing these in.
54
00:03:05,751 --> 00:03:09,293
250 Mom Bucks for 25 real ones.
55
00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:10,543
"Mom Bucks"?
56
00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:16,501
Oh. [chuckles] Yes, Frank.
57
00:03:16,584 --> 00:03:19,751
The boys earn them by doing chores
and getting good grades.
58
00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:22,626
Wait. Then how did Rodrick get so many?
59
00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:24,168
Mind your own business.
60
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,793
-[groans] Yuck.
-Rodrick should be earning real money,
61
00:03:27,876 --> 00:03:31,001
not play money with, you know,
like, a real job.
62
00:03:31,084 --> 00:03:33,959
When Löded Diper makes it big,
money won't be an issue.
63
00:03:34,043 --> 00:03:37,376
Okay. And what if, just saying,
just putting it out there,
64
00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:40,543
what if your band doesn't make it big?
What's your plan then?
65
00:03:43,168 --> 00:03:46,793
I'll sell my hair for wigs
and fake mustaches and stuff.
66
00:03:47,668 --> 00:03:49,126
Well, that sounds foolproof.
67
00:03:49,209 --> 00:03:51,459
[grunting]
68
00:03:51,543 --> 00:03:55,084
Okay, time to go!
We've got dinner reservations.
69
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,959
-See you boys Sunday!
-Whoo! [laughs]
70
00:03:57,043 --> 00:03:58,418
Mom!
71
00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:01,626
Now, we are trusting you
to be responsible this weekend.
72
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,959
I don't want you doing anything
I wouldn't do. Got it?
73
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,209
Frank, we talked about this.
74
00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:09,001
I-I just wanted to make sure
we're all on the same page.
75
00:04:09,084 --> 00:04:10,084
We good here?
76
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,584
Okay? Okay, we're good.
77
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:17,668
You can't leave me and Rodrick alone
together for a whole weekend.
78
00:04:17,751 --> 00:04:20,334
Mom, we literally don't even know
how to take care of ourselves!
79
00:04:20,418 --> 00:04:23,793
-Oh, come on, Greg. You two will have fun.
-[giggling, grunting]
80
00:04:25,126 --> 00:04:28,626
Play some video games together.
Throw a ball in the backyard.
81
00:04:28,709 --> 00:04:30,168
[snoring]
82
00:04:30,251 --> 00:04:31,668
Do you even know Rodrick?
83
00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:36,209
Listen, I know that you and your brother
don't always get along,
84
00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:38,376
but a weekend like this
can help change that.
85
00:04:38,459 --> 00:04:40,543
-[grunts] Yeah!
-[Greg] Ow!
86
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:41,626
[horn honks]
87
00:04:43,293 --> 00:04:45,876
Who knows?
You two might surprise yourselves.
88
00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:49,376
[car door closes]
89
00:04:50,418 --> 00:04:52,918
Don't forget to unload the dishwasher!
90
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:54,584
[groans]
91
00:04:54,668 --> 00:04:56,084
-Whoa!
-All right, Greg.
92
00:04:56,168 --> 00:04:57,834
We've got one hour
to get this place ready.
93
00:04:57,918 --> 00:04:59,168
Ready for what?
94
00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:00,959
The party.
95
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:05,293
What? No way! Mom and Dad
would never let you have a party!
96
00:05:05,376 --> 00:05:08,709
They'll never even know,
and it's not my party anyway.
97
00:05:08,793 --> 00:05:10,793
It's our party.
98
00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:13,293
Whoa. What do you mean "our party"?
99
00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:17,084
The Heffley brothers
are throwing this party together.
100
00:05:17,168 --> 00:05:18,876
The Heffley brothers?
101
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:23,959
That's right. You and me, together.
102
00:05:24,043 --> 00:05:27,918
People will be talking about this night
for years.
103
00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:30,709
It's gonna be epic.
104
00:05:30,793 --> 00:05:32,084
Epic.
105
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:35,959
So, what do you say? Are you in?
106
00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:39,543
Okay, I'm in.
107
00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:42,251
But who's coming to this thing?
108
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:44,501
I invite my friends. You invite yours.
109
00:05:45,251 --> 00:05:48,126
W-Wait. Y-You do have friends, right?
110
00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:54,668
Yeah, I have lots of friends!
There's Rowley, and there's Rowley.
111
00:05:54,751 --> 00:05:57,168
Well, then,
why don't you call this "Rowley"
112
00:05:57,251 --> 00:05:58,959
and have him come over to help set up?
113
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:03,001
I don't know. I'm not sure Rowley
could really handle a high school party.
114
00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:05,293
Plus, his parents
would never let him come.
115
00:06:06,293 --> 00:06:08,168
So, you have him
tell them it's a sleepover.
116
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:09,668
Come on, we need all the help we can get.
117
00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:12,209
Oh. That's pretty good.
118
00:06:12,293 --> 00:06:15,751
And when he gets here, you guys can start
by bringing up one of those plastic tables
119
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:16,834
from the basement.
120
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:20,126
Wait. Why can't you do that?
121
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:22,709
Because…
122
00:06:22,793 --> 00:06:25,334
I can't do this without your help.
123
00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:29,043
And besides, I'm going to get snacks.
124
00:06:29,584 --> 00:06:32,459
Whoa! How do you have so many friends?
125
00:06:32,543 --> 00:06:35,834
It's called popularity. You should try it.
126
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:40,918
All right. The clock starts… now.
127
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:46,293
Now.
128
00:06:46,376 --> 00:06:48,126
["Neighbourhood Brats" playing]
129
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:57,709
♪ The mutant offspring
Of council house schemes ♪
130
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,293
♪ The dreaded nightmare
Of town planners' dreams ♪
131
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,501
-[phone dings]
-Whoa! Party at Rodrick's, dude!
132
00:07:02,584 --> 00:07:04,293
-Yeah!
-[laughs] Yeah!
133
00:07:05,376 --> 00:07:08,209
-…totally got their nose rings locked.
-[phone dings, buzzes]
134
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:10,209
Whoa! Rager at Rodrick's!
135
00:07:10,293 --> 00:07:11,668
-[laughs] Yes!
-It's gonna be awesome!
136
00:07:11,751 --> 00:07:12,793
-[phone dings]
-Whoa!
137
00:07:12,876 --> 00:07:14,418
[groans, grunts]
138
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:15,501
Party!
139
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:18,209
♪ The mutant offspring
Of council house schemes ♪
140
00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,001
[doorbell rings]
141
00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:22,918
-[music stops]
-[record scratches]
142
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:26,001
Hey, Greg! It's party time!
143
00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:29,501
[Greg] No, no, no!
144
00:07:29,584 --> 00:07:30,751
[blows party horn]
145
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:33,709
Whoa! Rowley, what are you wearing?
146
00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:35,918
You said this was a party.
147
00:07:36,001 --> 00:07:38,334
Not that kind of party.
148
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:43,543
A cool party with, like, high schoolers,
and loud music and stuff.
149
00:07:44,251 --> 00:07:47,459
You mean a boy-girl party?
150
00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,959
Rowley, don't call it a boy-girl party.
151
00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:54,084
Why? Is it gonna be guys only?
'Cause that could be fun too.
152
00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:57,043
No, just call it a party, okay?
153
00:07:57,126 --> 00:08:00,418
And seriously, don't embarrass me tonight.
154
00:08:01,168 --> 00:08:04,709
It's just that
me and Rodrick never team up like this,
155
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,959
and I really don't want anything
to mess it up.
156
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:10,084
-Okay?
-Okay.
157
00:08:10,168 --> 00:08:11,168
[door opens]
158
00:08:11,251 --> 00:08:14,084
All right.
You boys got your work cut out for ya.
159
00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:17,209
Get to it.
160
00:08:17,293 --> 00:08:20,084
["Neighbourhood Brats" resumes]
161
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,501
♪ You blame the teachers
The troubles at home ♪
162
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,501
♪ You blame the parents
Where did we go wrong? ♪
163
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,043
[shouts]
164
00:08:31,626 --> 00:08:33,001
[laughs]
165
00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:37,209
♪ The dreaded nightmare
Of town planners' dreams ♪
166
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,251
♪ Neighborhood brats ♪
167
00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,001
♪ Neighborhood brats ♪
168
00:08:43,293 --> 00:08:44,376
Ugh.
169
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,834
♪ The mutant offspring
Of council house schemes ♪
170
00:08:56,918 --> 00:08:59,418
♪ The dreaded nightmare
Of town planners' dreams ♪
171
00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,376
♪ Neighborhood brats ♪
172
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,043
-[screams]
-[laughs]
173
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,376
Go! Go, go, go, go!
174
00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:09,459
♪ Folks step aside
When they pass ♪
175
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:20,376
-[groans]
-Ow!
176
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:23,293
Hmm. Good job, guys.
177
00:09:23,876 --> 00:09:29,501
Huh. You know what, though?
We could use one more of those tables.
178
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:31,793
We're on it.
179
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:38,251
Do we have to do this?
The first table was heavy.
180
00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:43,084
Everything's gotta be perfect!
Rodrick's, like, an expert at this stuff.
181
00:09:43,168 --> 00:09:47,501
But it seems like he's just getting us
to do all the hard stuff.
182
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:51,293
You don't get it, Rowley.
Rodrick's depending on me.
183
00:09:51,376 --> 00:09:54,376
Our party's gonna be… epic.
184
00:09:57,418 --> 00:09:59,418
[whistles]
185
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:07,876
Um. [gulps]
186
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:16,834
[gasps]
187
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:23,834
Whoa.
188
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,834
-[cackles]
-[screams]
189
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,251
[mike feedback]
190
00:10:30,584 --> 00:10:32,709
I don't think
we should be in Rodrick's bedroom.
191
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:35,668
Relax, we're just in here for the table.
192
00:10:39,293 --> 00:10:40,959
[Rowley] Do you think
there will be party games,
193
00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:43,418
like charades
or pin the tail on the donkey?
194
00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:45,376
-[amplifier sounds]
-[cymbals clatter]
195
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,751
It's not that kind of thing, Rowley.
196
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:50,834
High-school parties are totally different
than little-kid parties.
197
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,084
How do you know?
198
00:10:52,168 --> 00:10:54,334
I just know stuff.
199
00:10:54,418 --> 00:10:56,876
Listen, we're gonna be
the only middle schoolers at this thing.
200
00:10:56,959 --> 00:11:00,376
We've gotta blend in.
Just try and be cool, okay?
201
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:03,501
But pin the tail on the donkey is cool.
202
00:11:05,668 --> 00:11:06,668
Wait, what?
203
00:11:11,959 --> 00:11:15,668
"See you after the party."
204
00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:17,626
Oh, no.
205
00:11:18,209 --> 00:11:20,251
What's going on? Is it stuck?
206
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:23,543
It's not stuck!
I think Rodrick locked the door.
207
00:11:23,626 --> 00:11:25,709
But why would he do that?
208
00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:28,334
What about the party?
What about the Heffley brothers?
209
00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:32,626
It was, uh, probably just a joke.
210
00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:36,918
[grunting] Rodrick? Rodrick!
211
00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:39,209
-[loud music playing]
-[knocking]
212
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,293
Rodrick!
213
00:11:40,376 --> 00:11:41,918
-[pounding]
-[glass breaking]
214
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:43,751
Rodrick!
215
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,501
[increases music volume]
216
00:11:45,584 --> 00:11:46,668
Rodrick!
217
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,751
[teenagers cheering]
218
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,584
[grunts]
219
00:12:00,668 --> 00:12:01,668
Rodrick!
220
00:12:02,459 --> 00:12:03,459
Is he coming?
221
00:12:03,543 --> 00:12:04,668
Just wait here, okay?
222
00:12:07,084 --> 00:12:09,209
But I have tap-dancing lessons
in the morning.
223
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,418
I was sick last week,
224
00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:14,626
and if I miss two in a row,
Miss Tilly's gonna be mad.
225
00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:17,209
Relax, Rowley.
I've got everything under control.
226
00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:19,084
Hmm.
227
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,959
I'm scared. What if we starve down here?
228
00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:28,001
-My celery sticks are in my overnight bag.
-[screams]
229
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:31,459
Can you please stop talking
for five seconds? I need to concentrate.
230
00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:41,501
What's going on out there?
Are they… partying?
231
00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:47,043
[Greg] I think I can reach the lock.
[grunting]
232
00:12:48,459 --> 00:12:49,626
[Rowley grunts] Ow!
233
00:12:51,126 --> 00:12:52,543
[sighs]
234
00:12:53,709 --> 00:12:55,043
Can you reach it?
235
00:12:55,126 --> 00:12:56,126
No.
236
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,876
But I've got an idea. Wait here.
237
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:04,168
[rock music playing]
238
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,043
Let's get this party started!
239
00:13:06,126 --> 00:13:07,543
[cheering, laughing]
240
00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:09,959
-Whoo!
-[teenager] Nice brain bucket.
241
00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:13,626
And I was like,
"Underwear goes under your pants, bro."
242
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:14,543
Ew!
243
00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:20,668
Whoa.
244
00:13:22,459 --> 00:13:23,751
-Whoa.
-[blows]
245
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:25,668
Move.
246
00:13:25,751 --> 00:13:26,751
[gasps]
247
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,584
[shutter clicks]
248
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:31,709
[Rowley] What's that for?
249
00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:35,001
[Greg] Evidence.
250
00:13:36,209 --> 00:13:37,834
Whoa.
251
00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:42,793
-[camera shutter clicking]
-[teenagers] Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
252
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:44,918
[teenager] He actually did it!
253
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,459
Yeah! [laughs]
254
00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:47,876
Whoa!
255
00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:50,376
Huh? What--
256
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,251
[birds chirping]
257
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:58,793
[both snoring]
258
00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:00,001
[sniffs]
259
00:14:00,084 --> 00:14:01,126
[grunts]
260
00:14:01,626 --> 00:14:03,501
[snoring]
261
00:14:04,584 --> 00:14:05,584
[both] Whoa!
262
00:14:05,668 --> 00:14:06,668
-[grunts]
-Ow!
263
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:08,293
What?
264
00:14:08,376 --> 00:14:09,459
-[all snoring]
-Ew!
265
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:10,793
[gasps]
266
00:14:11,626 --> 00:14:13,959
[stammers] I think I'd better go home.
267
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:16,334
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
268
00:14:16,418 --> 00:14:17,418
[door closes]
269
00:14:18,168 --> 00:14:19,168
[groans]
270
00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:35,376
[sighs]
271
00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:49,209
♪ Never gonna give you up ♪
272
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:51,459
-[gasps]
-[gasps]
273
00:14:51,543 --> 00:14:54,168
♪ Never gonna run around
And desert you ♪
274
00:14:54,251 --> 00:14:56,709
[groans] Dude.
275
00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:58,168
Not cool, dude.
276
00:14:58,251 --> 00:15:00,626
♪ Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie ♪
277
00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:02,209
-Not cool.
-[thud]
278
00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:03,668
♪ And hurt you ♪
279
00:15:03,751 --> 00:15:05,501
-[music playing muffled]
-[teenager 1] My head.
280
00:15:05,584 --> 00:15:07,501
-[teenager 2] This sucks.
-[Bill] Not cool.
281
00:15:08,418 --> 00:15:09,584
[Rodrick groans]
282
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:11,209
[music stops]
283
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:19,168
[groans] What's your problem, man?
284
00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:22,793
It's not even, like, afternoon yet.
285
00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:25,168
You locked me in the basement!
286
00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:28,626
Yeah, like, as a joke.
287
00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:33,918
[laughs] Well, the joke's on you, because
when Mom and Dad get home tomorrow,
288
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,418
I'm gonna tell them
all about your little party.
289
00:15:39,751 --> 00:15:41,876
You wouldn't have the guts.
290
00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:44,293
[phone rings, buzzes]
291
00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:48,126
Hey, Mom. How is the trip going?
292
00:15:48,209 --> 00:15:51,876
Well-- Well, it was going great
until Manny got a stomach bug.
293
00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:53,584
We're headed to Gramma's to pick him up.
294
00:15:53,668 --> 00:15:56,168
Wait. You're coming home today?
295
00:15:56,251 --> 00:15:57,376
-Yes, Rodrick.
-[Frank] Got it.
296
00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:58,959
We should be home in an hour.
297
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,626
Did you boys empty the dishwasher
like I asked?
298
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:02,876
[Frank] You gotta be kidding me.
299
00:16:04,418 --> 00:16:06,668
Not yet.
300
00:16:06,751 --> 00:16:09,459
[Mom] Well, it had better be done
by the time we're back.
301
00:16:09,543 --> 00:16:12,084
No problem. See you soon.
302
00:16:12,168 --> 00:16:13,168
[phone beeps]
303
00:16:13,251 --> 00:16:18,543
Okay, you heard her. We've got one hour
to clean up this whole mess.
304
00:16:22,168 --> 00:16:25,376
Not my problem. I'll be in my room.
305
00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:26,876
Dude!
306
00:16:26,959 --> 00:16:31,126
Mom and Dad are gonna go ballistic
if they find out I had a party!
307
00:16:31,209 --> 00:16:33,293
Please, you've gotta help me.
308
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:36,543
And why would I do that?
309
00:16:37,376 --> 00:16:38,751
[clock ticking]
310
00:16:38,834 --> 00:16:39,918
Because we're brothers.
311
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:43,543
Yeah, well, brothers don't lock each other
in the basement.
312
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:48,251
Okay, okay. I slipped up.
Won't happen again, I swear.
313
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:51,001
Please!
314
00:16:51,876 --> 00:16:56,084
If I help you clean up this mess,
things are gonna be different between us.
315
00:16:56,168 --> 00:16:58,418
Different? Like how?
316
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:02,668
For starters, you're gonna start
treating me better, like an equal.
317
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:06,251
Okay, okay. Done. Equals. Got it.
318
00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:08,126
And you're gonna owe me.
319
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:09,959
Owe you what?
320
00:17:10,543 --> 00:17:11,793
I'm-- I'm-- I'm thinking.
321
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:13,918
Dude, we've got no time!
322
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:20,709
Okay. Yeah, I owe you.
Can we just work out the details later?
323
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:22,293
[sighs] Fine.
324
00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:24,959
All right, my man! Let's do this.
325
00:17:25,543 --> 00:17:28,043
And go!
326
00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:30,459
[grunts]
327
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,001
[toilet bubbling]
328
00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:36,543
[Greg grunts]
329
00:17:37,126 --> 00:17:38,668
-What?
-Hmm.
330
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,834
-Hmm.
-[Rodrick yells]
331
00:17:40,918 --> 00:17:43,334
Gonna blow chunks!
332
00:17:43,418 --> 00:17:45,751
Don't worry, Manny.
We'll be home in a jiffy.
333
00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:46,834
[dry retches]
334
00:17:46,918 --> 00:17:48,668
Honey, better step on it.
335
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,959
-[engine revs]
-[Manny] Whoa!
336
00:17:52,584 --> 00:17:53,709
[yells]
337
00:17:57,834 --> 00:17:59,709
-[groans, gags]
-[stomach rumbles]
338
00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:01,209
I am taking the shortcut!
339
00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:05,126
[Manny] Whoa! [shouting]
340
00:18:08,418 --> 00:18:09,584
Manny!
341
00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:16,209
Huh? What?
342
00:18:16,293 --> 00:18:18,084
[screams] Whoa!
343
00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:21,209
Ouch!
344
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,209
[gags]
345
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,209
-[Rodrick tuts]
-[Greg screams]
346
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:30,084
[yelps]
347
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,418
-[Frank] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-[mom screaming]
348
00:18:44,043 --> 00:18:45,834
[both scream]
349
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,376
Mission accomplished, little bro.
350
00:19:07,126 --> 00:19:08,918
[door closing]
351
00:19:12,376 --> 00:19:13,626
[car approaches]
352
00:19:16,209 --> 00:19:18,376
[both screaming]
353
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:28,626
It's permanent ink!
This is never coming off!
354
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,709
Um-- [gasps]
355
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:31,209
We need another door!
356
00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:34,418
Another door?
Where are we gonna get another door?
357
00:19:34,501 --> 00:19:37,459
[gasps] The basement!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
358
00:19:47,668 --> 00:19:49,626
[groans]
359
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,668
Oh, let's hurry up and get you inside.
360
00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:55,418
[grunts] Quit pushing!
361
00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:57,501
Quit pulling! Push!
362
00:19:57,584 --> 00:19:58,793
I said pull!
363
00:19:58,876 --> 00:19:59,876
Ow!
364
00:20:00,418 --> 00:20:02,251
[groans]
365
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,751
Come on, Frank.
366
00:20:14,376 --> 00:20:15,501
Boys?
367
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:19,751
We're home!
368
00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,626
Oh. Hey, Mom!
369
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:26,126
So, did you guys do some brotherly bonding
while we were gone?
370
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:27,959
Uh, kinda, I guess.
371
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:30,709
Rodrick, y-you're sweating!
372
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:34,001
Oh, I hope you don't have what Manny has.
373
00:20:34,084 --> 00:20:35,501
[Frank] I knew it, Susan!
374
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,209
I knew they couldn't be trusted!
375
00:20:38,293 --> 00:20:40,084
They didn't empty the dishwasher.
376
00:20:40,168 --> 00:20:42,209
[Manny gags, vomits]
377
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,959
-[Frank] Oh, that's gross.
-[Manny] Manny all better!
378
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,043
[sighs]
379
00:20:46,126 --> 00:20:47,334
[sighs]
380
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:48,876
[sighs]
381
00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:58,376
[chuckling]
382
00:20:58,459 --> 00:20:59,459
[phone beeping]
383
00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,626
[laughing] Oh.
384
00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:03,209
Oh, man!
385
00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:06,501
Hmm.
386
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:12,168
[sniffs] There's gotta be evidence.
They're not that smart.
387
00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:14,334
Aha!
388
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:16,126
[groans]
389
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:20,876
[laughs]
390
00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,459
[screams]
391
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:26,918
[chuckles]
392
00:21:31,334 --> 00:21:33,959
You think he knows? I-- I think he knows!
393
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,459
Shh! Keep your voice down, dummy.
394
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:39,043
If he doesn't know,
he's gonna figure it out.
395
00:21:39,126 --> 00:21:42,209
I mean, he's been sniffing around
the house ever since he got back.
396
00:21:42,293 --> 00:21:43,959
He's gonna find something.
397
00:21:44,043 --> 00:21:48,668
You need to calm down. We covered
our tracks. We cleaned up the place.
398
00:21:48,751 --> 00:21:50,543
Yeah, and you owe me for that.
399
00:21:50,626 --> 00:21:53,626
And you can start paying me back
by finishing with these leaves!
400
00:21:53,709 --> 00:21:57,084
Wait, wait, wait.
What-- What is this about owing you?
401
00:21:57,168 --> 00:21:59,626
I don't remember saying
anything like that.
402
00:22:00,626 --> 00:22:04,709
Are you kidding me? I cleaned up
your stupid party, and that wasn't easy!
403
00:22:04,793 --> 00:22:09,751
Don't you mean our party?
We were partners in this thing.
404
00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:12,001
That mess was our mess,
405
00:22:12,084 --> 00:22:15,959
and if Mom and Dad ever find out about it,
we're both in hot water.
406
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,543
No way! This was your party!
407
00:22:18,626 --> 00:22:21,084
You're the one who's getting in trouble,
not me!
408
00:22:21,168 --> 00:22:23,709
I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad
what really happened.
409
00:22:26,793 --> 00:22:30,834
Fine, fine. I'll pay up.
410
00:22:31,668 --> 00:22:33,751
Yeah? And how are you gonna do that?
411
00:22:34,459 --> 00:22:38,543
By giving you my most valuable possession.
412
00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:40,668
What? Mom Bucks?
413
00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:43,376
No, thanks. I've seen where you keep them.
414
00:22:43,459 --> 00:22:48,043
Something even better than that.
Knowledge.
415
00:22:48,126 --> 00:22:50,043
[scoffs] I've seen your report card.
416
00:22:50,126 --> 00:22:55,668
Not school knowledge. Real knowledge.
Stuff you can actually use.
417
00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:57,001
I'm listening.
418
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,043
I'll give you a little taste.
419
00:22:59,126 --> 00:23:01,293
Let's start with the way
you bag your leaves.
420
00:23:01,376 --> 00:23:05,209
When you do it, you fill your bag
to the top and then tie it shut.
421
00:23:05,293 --> 00:23:07,084
But that's not smart.
422
00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:09,751
Mom's paying three Mom Bucks a bag.
423
00:23:09,834 --> 00:23:13,918
So, if you wanna maximize your income,
you've gotta do it like this.
424
00:23:17,959 --> 00:23:20,126
But isn't that cheating?
425
00:23:20,209 --> 00:23:23,209
It's not cheating.
It's just gaming the system.
426
00:23:23,918 --> 00:23:26,584
So, what? You're just gonna give me
a bunch of yard work tips?
427
00:23:26,668 --> 00:23:28,959
I can teach you lots of things,
little brother.
428
00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:32,209
Stuff that'll make your whole life easier.
429
00:23:32,293 --> 00:23:34,668
Your problem is that you work too hard.
430
00:23:34,751 --> 00:23:37,543
I want that underwear off the table
431
00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:39,876
by the time I get back
from the grocery store.
432
00:23:39,959 --> 00:23:42,834
-[door closes]
-[Rodrick] What you do is set the bar low,
433
00:23:42,918 --> 00:23:45,043
so Mom and Dad don't expect
too much out of you.
434
00:23:45,543 --> 00:23:46,876
Because then…
435
00:23:48,418 --> 00:23:49,418
Wha--
436
00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:52,584
[Rodrick] …they're happy
when you do practically nothing at all.
437
00:23:52,668 --> 00:23:53,668
Here's another tip.
438
00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:56,043
Pretend you don't know how to do stuff,
439
00:23:56,126 --> 00:23:58,751
because that'll get you out of
a lot of unnecessary work.
440
00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:00,959
[sighs] H…
441
00:24:01,793 --> 00:24:04,376
H… Hmm.
442
00:24:05,418 --> 00:24:06,918
I'll just do it, okay?
443
00:24:07,834 --> 00:24:09,626
[typing]
444
00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:12,543
[Rodrick] And if you really
don't feel like doing something,
445
00:24:12,626 --> 00:24:15,584
a well-timed trip to the bathroom
is always your ticket out.
446
00:24:15,668 --> 00:24:17,001
I'm ready to start!
447
00:24:17,084 --> 00:24:18,584
I just finished.
448
00:24:19,084 --> 00:24:21,251
My body is on a schedule.
449
00:24:21,876 --> 00:24:23,126
[groans]
450
00:24:24,001 --> 00:24:27,168
Okay, I'll admit it. That's--
That's pretty good.
451
00:24:27,251 --> 00:24:28,376
What else can you teach me?
452
00:24:28,459 --> 00:24:33,168
Oh, I've got loads of stuff like that.
I call it my Rodrick Rules.
453
00:24:34,376 --> 00:24:36,834
Don't you mean "Rodrick's Rules"?
454
00:24:36,918 --> 00:24:41,834
No, Rodrick Rules.
There's only one Rodrick, me.
455
00:24:41,918 --> 00:24:42,793
[sighs] Yeah.
456
00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:45,334
I meant, like, apostrophe S.
457
00:24:45,418 --> 00:24:49,418
Rodrick Rule number one.
No apostrophes or any other nerd stuff.
458
00:24:50,459 --> 00:24:53,084
That kinda stuff will get you beat up
at school.
459
00:24:53,168 --> 00:24:54,626
So, what's rule number two?
460
00:24:54,709 --> 00:24:57,584
Uh, I've already given away too much.
461
00:24:57,668 --> 00:25:01,668
If you want more, we're gonna have to
make this deal official.
462
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:07,376
You keep your mouth shut about the party,
and I'll tell you everything I know.
463
00:25:08,501 --> 00:25:09,501
Deal.
464
00:25:23,918 --> 00:25:27,334
Greg, Rowley's here! Time to go!
465
00:25:28,501 --> 00:25:32,293
Hello, Rowley. Don't you look handsome?
466
00:25:32,376 --> 00:25:33,376
[gulps]
467
00:25:33,459 --> 00:25:39,084
Um, this weekend I had tap-dancing lessons
with Miss Tilly. [chuckles]
468
00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:41,876
Uh, nothing out of the ordinary happened.
469
00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:45,168
[chuckling]
470
00:25:46,918 --> 00:25:48,543
-[parents gasp]
-Whoa. Hey, Rowley!
471
00:25:48,626 --> 00:25:51,834
It's been a while.
Friday afternoon, right?
472
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:52,959
Yeah, we--
473
00:25:53,459 --> 00:25:57,376
-Whoa! So clean.
-Uh… [chuckles]
474
00:25:57,459 --> 00:26:00,751
Yeah, yeah. Time to go, Rowley!
Time-- Time to go. Get out.
475
00:26:02,501 --> 00:26:04,709
Come on, Rowley.
Two more seconds in there,
476
00:26:04,793 --> 00:26:07,001
and you were gonna spill your guts
about the whole party.
477
00:26:07,084 --> 00:26:10,376
Sorry, I'm not good at this stuff.
478
00:26:10,459 --> 00:26:12,876
You don't think my dad heard you
back there, right?
479
00:26:12,959 --> 00:26:15,459
'Cause he's been acting really suspicious.
480
00:26:15,543 --> 00:26:17,876
How did you get the house so clean,
though?
481
00:26:18,376 --> 00:26:21,459
Um, me and Rodrick
actually did it together.
482
00:26:21,543 --> 00:26:23,418
I told you, me and him are a team.
483
00:26:23,501 --> 00:26:26,834
[shouts] You and Rodrick?
But he locked us in the basement!
484
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:30,501
Uh, yeah.
Brothers just joke like that. [chuckles]
485
00:26:30,584 --> 00:26:33,334
It's actually pretty hilarious
if you really think about it.
486
00:26:34,751 --> 00:26:36,001
Don't look at me like that.
487
00:26:36,918 --> 00:26:40,043
Anyway, yeah, Rodrick's been, uh--
He's been taking me under his wing.
488
00:26:40,126 --> 00:26:42,001
He's been teaching me a bunch of stuff.
489
00:26:42,501 --> 00:26:44,543
Really? What kind of stuff?
490
00:26:44,626 --> 00:26:47,043
Uh, like, how you need to set the bar low,
491
00:26:47,126 --> 00:26:49,084
so your parents don't expect
too much from you.
492
00:26:49,168 --> 00:26:52,293
Oh, and how you can trick them
into helping you with your homework.
493
00:26:52,376 --> 00:26:53,668
That kind of thing.
494
00:26:54,376 --> 00:26:56,793
That seems like bad stuff.
495
00:26:56,876 --> 00:26:59,126
This information is like gold, Rowley!
496
00:26:59,209 --> 00:27:01,334
It's what makes having an older brother
worth it.
497
00:27:03,418 --> 00:27:06,251
But why is Rodrick being so nice to you
all of a sudden?
498
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:11,709
I don't know. Maybe 'cause he just likes
having me around.
499
00:27:11,793 --> 00:27:14,709
You know what? You wouldn't understand.
You're an only child.
500
00:27:14,793 --> 00:27:15,793
No offense.
501
00:27:16,459 --> 00:27:23,209
Well, I'm glad I'm an only child.
'Cause this brother stuff is complicated.
502
00:27:26,293 --> 00:27:31,043
["Requiem in D Minor Lacrimosa" playing]
503
00:27:45,001 --> 00:27:46,001
[song stops]
504
00:27:50,584 --> 00:27:53,209
[continues playing drums]
505
00:27:53,876 --> 00:27:55,043
Rodrick!
506
00:27:57,334 --> 00:27:58,626
Rodrick!
507
00:28:00,084 --> 00:28:01,376
Rodrick!
508
00:28:05,168 --> 00:28:06,418
What?
509
00:28:06,501 --> 00:28:10,918
You need to teach me something new.
You never got past rule number one.
510
00:28:11,001 --> 00:28:14,293
You only get one rule a week.
That's Rodrick Rule number two.
511
00:28:14,376 --> 00:28:15,709
[rim shot]
512
00:28:15,793 --> 00:28:18,376
What? That's not fair.
513
00:28:18,459 --> 00:28:19,876
Life's not fair.
514
00:28:21,876 --> 00:28:24,626
Rule number three.
And now you made me break rule number two.
515
00:28:24,709 --> 00:28:26,501
[sighs] Fine.
516
00:28:28,084 --> 00:28:29,293
Ow! What the--
517
00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:31,293
I've been looking for that.
518
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:32,376
What is this?
519
00:28:32,459 --> 00:28:34,501
It's an echo pedal. We need it…
520
00:28:34,584 --> 00:28:37,501
[echoes, singing] …for the talent show.
521
00:28:37,584 --> 00:28:41,418
Oh, yeah, the talent show.
I'm trying out too.
522
00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:44,584
You? You don't have any talent.
523
00:28:45,876 --> 00:28:48,793
Yeah, I'm in Rowley's magic act.
524
00:28:48,876 --> 00:28:50,459
I'm his…
525
00:28:50,543 --> 00:28:51,626
assistant.
526
00:28:52,959 --> 00:28:54,918
[scoffs]
527
00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:59,084
[laughs] Man, they're--
they're gonna laugh you off the stage.
528
00:28:59,168 --> 00:29:02,168
Yeah, I know. Mom's making me.
529
00:29:03,084 --> 00:29:05,251
Hey, do you think
you can get me out of this?
530
00:29:05,334 --> 00:29:09,001
[laughs] Sorry, you c--
You can't leave your friends hanging.
531
00:29:09,084 --> 00:29:10,251
Rodrick Rule number four.
532
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:14,168
All right, enough with the rules.
How about you teach me something for real?
533
00:29:14,251 --> 00:29:15,459
Like what?
534
00:29:15,543 --> 00:29:16,876
I don't know.
535
00:29:17,668 --> 00:29:21,709
Maybe you could teach me
how to play the drums or something.
536
00:29:24,543 --> 00:29:27,418
[snickers] Are you sure
you could handle that, little brother?
537
00:29:28,459 --> 00:29:29,876
-Yeah!
-All right.
538
00:29:30,584 --> 00:29:31,584
It's simple.
539
00:29:31,668 --> 00:29:37,751
You just gotta grip the sticks,
feel the flow, and let it rip.
540
00:29:41,084 --> 00:29:46,751
Okay, now loosen up that wrist a bit.
Keep it flowing. Feel the rhythm.
541
00:29:46,834 --> 00:29:50,959
That-- Th-That's it! [laughs]
You've got potential, little bro.
542
00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:53,376
-[door opens]
-[gasps]
543
00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:56,876
Are you ready to rock?
544
00:29:57,751 --> 00:30:00,376
[Greg narrating] Bill Walter
is the lead singer of Löded Diper,
545
00:30:00,459 --> 00:30:03,251
even though
he's something like 35 years old.
546
00:30:03,334 --> 00:30:05,418
I'm pretty sure Rodrick asked him to join
547
00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:08,293
because he got named
"Most Likely to Be a Rock Star"
548
00:30:08,376 --> 00:30:10,459
when he was in high school.
549
00:30:10,543 --> 00:30:12,001
[laughs]
550
00:30:13,168 --> 00:30:15,751
Beat it, kid. Grown-ups are talking here.
551
00:30:17,501 --> 00:30:21,251
Nah, that-- That's all right.
He can stay. He's cool.
552
00:30:24,084 --> 00:30:25,751
Whatever you say, dude.
553
00:30:25,834 --> 00:30:27,918
You ready to burn this place down?
554
00:30:28,001 --> 00:30:29,918
We are Löded Diper!
555
00:30:30,001 --> 00:30:31,459
One, two, three, four!
556
00:30:31,543 --> 00:30:33,543
[rock music playing]
557
00:30:34,126 --> 00:30:35,918
[Bill] ♪ All right ♪
558
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:39,001
[screams]
559
00:30:39,084 --> 00:30:41,793
-[music continues]
-[groans]
560
00:30:41,876 --> 00:30:44,543
-♪ So, he sent us underground ♪
-Huh?
561
00:30:44,626 --> 00:30:46,626
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
562
00:30:47,251 --> 00:30:48,709
♪ You never listened ♪
563
00:30:49,459 --> 00:30:52,209
[vocalizes]
564
00:30:52,293 --> 00:30:54,293
[babbling]
565
00:30:55,376 --> 00:30:58,209
Isn't setting the table Greg's job?
566
00:30:58,293 --> 00:31:00,584
He's hanging out with his brother
in the basement.
567
00:31:01,084 --> 00:31:03,709
I didn't want to interrupt
their "together time."
568
00:31:03,793 --> 00:31:05,751
Listen, I-- [stammers]
569
00:31:05,834 --> 00:31:09,501
Do you think it's a good idea that those
guys are spending so much time together?
570
00:31:09,584 --> 00:31:11,751
Why wouldn't it be a good idea?
571
00:31:13,876 --> 00:31:16,126
It's just that-- [stammers] Well, I mean--
572
00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:19,668
Look, who knows what kind of stuff
Rodrick is teaching Greg?
573
00:31:19,751 --> 00:31:22,001
-[music stops]
-[Rodrick] Somebody farted!
574
00:31:22,084 --> 00:31:23,459
-[all coughing]
-[Greg groans]
575
00:31:23,543 --> 00:31:24,793
Ew, gross.
576
00:31:24,876 --> 00:31:26,251
[all laughing]
577
00:31:27,876 --> 00:31:30,459
-[echoes] Somebody farted!
-[all laughing]
578
00:31:32,793 --> 00:31:34,376
I rest my case.
579
00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:36,751
The boys are bonding, Frank.
580
00:31:36,834 --> 00:31:39,001
Isn't that what we want to happen?
581
00:31:39,709 --> 00:31:44,168
Look, sometimes my older brother, Joe,
would string me along,
582
00:31:44,251 --> 00:31:45,793
and then I'd get burned.
583
00:31:46,293 --> 00:31:48,084
Greg needs to protect himself.
584
00:31:48,168 --> 00:31:51,834
Because if Rodrick pulls the rug out
from under him, he's gonna get hurt.
585
00:31:51,918 --> 00:31:55,668
We can't police every interaction
between these boys, Frank.
586
00:31:56,251 --> 00:31:57,918
They need to work things out on their own.
587
00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:01,459
[sighs] Maybe you're right.
But I just-- I--
588
00:32:01,543 --> 00:32:04,709
Now why don't you just take off that tie,
and try and relax a little?
589
00:32:05,709 --> 00:32:09,126
[clears throat]
I'll, uh, go get washed up for dinner.
590
00:32:09,209 --> 00:32:11,209
[music resumes]
591
00:32:15,084 --> 00:32:16,834
[handle jiggles]
592
00:32:17,543 --> 00:32:21,626
Hey! Didn't this door used to lock?
593
00:32:24,168 --> 00:32:25,293
So, you guys are telling us
594
00:32:25,376 --> 00:32:29,501
that you have no idea why
the bathroom door suddenly doesn't lock?
595
00:32:29,584 --> 00:32:33,418
Wait. We have a bathroom on this floor?
596
00:32:33,501 --> 00:32:38,501
[sighs] I feel like there's something
the boys aren't telling us.
597
00:32:39,084 --> 00:32:41,876
Greg, would you like to say something?
598
00:32:43,668 --> 00:32:44,668
Um…
599
00:32:47,626 --> 00:32:51,376
Actually, something did happen
on Friday night.
600
00:32:51,959 --> 00:32:53,626
Something I should've told you about.
601
00:32:57,001 --> 00:32:58,084
[groans]
602
00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:01,584
I went in the bathroom,
and I tried to lock the door.
603
00:33:01,668 --> 00:33:02,668
But I couldn't.
604
00:33:03,709 --> 00:33:07,543
I think I must have broken it
by shutting it too hard or something.
605
00:33:07,626 --> 00:33:08,626
Sorry.
606
00:33:13,709 --> 00:33:14,709
[sighs]
607
00:33:14,793 --> 00:33:18,418
Okay. Mystery solved. Let's move on.
608
00:33:19,043 --> 00:33:20,043
[whispers] Nice save.
609
00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:25,959
Boys, your father and I are taking another
shot at celebrating our anniversary
610
00:33:26,043 --> 00:33:28,376
since our first attempt got cut short.
611
00:33:28,459 --> 00:33:30,793
You're going away this weekend?
612
00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:32,709
Yes, but don't worry.
613
00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:35,001
You see, we're not gonna leave you two
on your own again.
614
00:33:35,084 --> 00:33:36,459
Why? Who's coming over?
615
00:33:37,543 --> 00:33:40,668
You two boys are gonna visit your grandpa.
616
00:33:40,751 --> 00:33:44,209
Wait. At Leisure Towers?
But there's nothing to do there.
617
00:33:44,293 --> 00:33:47,209
Oh, there's plenty to do
at Grandpa's complex.
618
00:33:47,293 --> 00:33:50,043
Shuffleboard, bingo, the pool.
619
00:33:50,126 --> 00:33:53,418
[singsongy] And you know how much
my dad loves board games!
620
00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:55,543
Board games?
621
00:33:55,626 --> 00:33:56,626
Come on, guys.
622
00:33:56,709 --> 00:34:00,043
You know Grandpa appreciates it
when you spend time with him.
623
00:34:00,126 --> 00:34:02,001
-But-- [sighs]
-Mom's right, Greg.
624
00:34:02,084 --> 00:34:04,543
It's been way too long
since we paid Grandpa a visit.
625
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:07,751
This-- This is gonna be great.
626
00:34:09,543 --> 00:34:12,001
Okay, guys. Better get packed.
627
00:34:12,751 --> 00:34:14,334
Greg, I'll help you.
628
00:34:15,043 --> 00:34:16,626
-Rodrick?
-Yeah?
629
00:34:16,709 --> 00:34:18,043
Good role modeling.
630
00:34:18,668 --> 00:34:20,793
Well, I try.
631
00:34:29,251 --> 00:34:30,959
Ready, set, go!
632
00:34:31,043 --> 00:34:32,959
Whoo-hoo! Whee!
633
00:34:33,043 --> 00:34:35,293
-[crashes]
-Aha!
634
00:34:35,876 --> 00:34:37,209
-[snores]
-[groans]
635
00:34:37,293 --> 00:34:39,584
-[elevator bell dings]
-Ooh. Hey!
636
00:34:39,668 --> 00:34:40,834
[squeaking]
637
00:34:40,918 --> 00:34:41,959
[elevator bell dings]
638
00:34:42,043 --> 00:34:43,293
Dagnabbit!
639
00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:48,584
Okay, boys! This is Gutbusters!
640
00:34:48,668 --> 00:34:53,043
One player reads a card,
and the other players try not to laugh.
641
00:34:53,126 --> 00:34:54,251
Them's the rules!
642
00:34:54,334 --> 00:34:56,376
-That sounds so fun!
-[sighs]
643
00:34:56,459 --> 00:34:58,459
-Roll the dice, Grandpa!
-[dice rattling]
644
00:34:59,751 --> 00:35:01,918
[Grandpa] Ha! Snake eyes!
645
00:35:02,001 --> 00:35:03,251
It's your turn to read, Greg.
646
00:35:03,334 --> 00:35:09,501
[groans] "A man who would pun,
would just as easily pick a pocket."
647
00:35:10,626 --> 00:35:12,418
[both snickering]
648
00:35:15,584 --> 00:35:17,043
Huh? I don't get it.
649
00:35:17,626 --> 00:35:19,626
-[Rodrick laughs]
-[Grandpa laughs]
650
00:35:20,209 --> 00:35:21,501
Come on, Rodrick!
651
00:35:21,584 --> 00:35:23,251
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
652
00:35:23,334 --> 00:35:25,626
[laughing] I'm sorry,
I-- I-- I-I-I couldn't help it.
653
00:35:25,709 --> 00:35:27,751
[laughing] That one gets me every time.
654
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,834
[exhales] All right, boys.
655
00:35:29,918 --> 00:35:35,209
Now, why don't you clean up this mess
while I take a potty break?
656
00:35:35,293 --> 00:35:39,043
Okay, Grandpa.
But don't take too long in there.
657
00:35:40,918 --> 00:35:43,084
I can't believe you agreed to coming here.
658
00:35:43,168 --> 00:35:45,376
Why didn't you at least try
to get us out of it?
659
00:35:45,459 --> 00:35:49,084
Can't talk. Concentrating.
660
00:35:49,918 --> 00:35:51,959
Rodrick, what are you doing?
661
00:35:52,043 --> 00:35:53,626
Isn't one game enough?
662
00:35:55,168 --> 00:35:57,418
You think I'm here to play games?
663
00:35:58,251 --> 00:36:00,876
Are those Mom Bucks?
664
00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:03,001
Millions of dollars worth.
665
00:36:03,084 --> 00:36:04,084
[sniffs]
666
00:36:05,959 --> 00:36:08,293
That's amazing. Wow!
667
00:36:08,376 --> 00:36:11,418
So, this is why you wanted to come
to Leisure Towers.
668
00:36:11,501 --> 00:36:14,334
Bingo. Now you're starting to get it.
669
00:36:14,418 --> 00:36:15,959
Come on. Let's split it up.
670
00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:18,918
-Ah! Da, da, da, da! Not so fast.
-[grunts]
671
00:36:19,001 --> 00:36:20,293
Go find your own supply.
672
00:36:20,376 --> 00:36:22,876
Come on, Rodrick. You owe me.
673
00:36:23,793 --> 00:36:28,293
[groans] Fine, here's a hundred.
Don't spend it all in one place.
674
00:36:29,168 --> 00:36:32,626
Now, why don't you go change?
You look like you wet yourself.
675
00:36:32,709 --> 00:36:34,876
I can't. Grandpa's in the bathroom.
676
00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:36,959
Then use the one in the lobby.
677
00:36:37,793 --> 00:36:40,376
[Greg narrating] I've gotta hand it
to Rodrick on this Mom Bucks thing.
678
00:36:40,459 --> 00:36:42,543
Every time
I think I've figured him all out,
679
00:36:42,626 --> 00:36:44,168
he surprises me with something new.
680
00:36:44,959 --> 00:36:47,668
It's pea soup again tonight, I hear.
681
00:36:47,751 --> 00:36:50,126
That sounds pretty good to me.
682
00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:52,459
[shoes squeaking]
683
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,668
Huh?
684
00:36:53,751 --> 00:36:54,959
[both gasp]
685
00:36:56,543 --> 00:36:58,376
[elderly person] Oh, my.
686
00:36:58,459 --> 00:36:59,501
[groans]
687
00:37:00,043 --> 00:37:01,626
[chuckles]
688
00:37:06,584 --> 00:37:07,626
[grunting]
689
00:37:09,501 --> 00:37:11,793
[elderly person]
Hi, Merle! Going to bingo tonight?
690
00:37:11,876 --> 00:37:13,626
[Merle] I wouldn't miss it for the world.
691
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:16,751
[elderly person] Well, you can kiss
your winning streak goodbye.
692
00:37:16,834 --> 00:37:19,001
I'm bringing a good luck charm with me.
693
00:37:19,084 --> 00:37:21,584
-[squeaks]
-Oh! Isn't he cute?
694
00:37:21,668 --> 00:37:25,334
Merle, Irene, bingo tonight?
695
00:37:25,418 --> 00:37:26,751
Ha! We'll see.
696
00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:32,543
Can you believe my luck last week?
Two games in a row.
697
00:37:32,626 --> 00:37:36,876
It was all thanks to my lucky charm.
698
00:37:36,959 --> 00:37:38,126
[squeaks]
699
00:37:38,209 --> 00:37:39,959
[whimpers]
700
00:37:40,043 --> 00:37:41,251
[flushes]
701
00:37:41,334 --> 00:37:42,418
[shouts]
702
00:37:48,376 --> 00:37:50,126
Say…
703
00:37:50,209 --> 00:37:52,251
"Boys size small?"
704
00:37:52,334 --> 00:37:54,418
[gasps] A Peeping Tom!
705
00:37:54,501 --> 00:37:55,501
[shouts]
706
00:37:58,626 --> 00:38:02,126
We see you in there, Boy Size Small!
707
00:38:02,209 --> 00:38:05,043
[Irene] We're gonna hand you over
to the authorities!
708
00:38:05,126 --> 00:38:07,251
[Merle] They'll put you in the slammer!
709
00:38:10,793 --> 00:38:13,251
-[Irene] Where did he go?
-[elderly person] I don't see him.
710
00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:14,751
[Irene] Did he give us the slip?
711
00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:15,709
[squeaks]
712
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:16,918
[shouts]
713
00:38:17,001 --> 00:38:18,168
-[screams]
-There he is!
714
00:38:18,251 --> 00:38:20,334
He's on the move, ladies!
715
00:38:21,918 --> 00:38:25,209
[laughing]
716
00:38:26,751 --> 00:38:27,918
[grunts]
717
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:30,126
[shouting]
718
00:38:30,209 --> 00:38:31,293
After him!
719
00:38:31,793 --> 00:38:32,668
[alarm sounds]
720
00:38:32,751 --> 00:38:34,959
-Huh? Huh?
-[grunts]
721
00:38:35,043 --> 00:38:37,418
-We're coming through!
-Hey! Watch it!
722
00:38:37,501 --> 00:38:39,584
-Don't let him get away!
-[panting]
723
00:38:42,334 --> 00:38:43,709
[ladies muttering]
724
00:38:43,793 --> 00:38:45,209
[sighs]
725
00:38:45,293 --> 00:38:47,251
-[yelps]
-You get out of here!
726
00:38:47,334 --> 00:38:48,334
-[shouts]
-[chattering]
727
00:38:48,418 --> 00:38:50,043
[elderly person] Killing my bingo buzz!
728
00:38:50,126 --> 00:38:51,793
[Irene] There he is!
729
00:38:51,876 --> 00:38:53,459
There's Boy Size Small.
730
00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:59,084
-Come back here! We're gonna get you!
-Yeah! Yeah!
731
00:39:00,626 --> 00:39:01,626
There he is! Come on!
732
00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:03,001
-[shouts]
-[guard] Hey, kid!
733
00:39:03,084 --> 00:39:05,043
-Come back here!
-Come on. Wait!
734
00:39:05,126 --> 00:39:06,293
-Out of my way!
-Hey! Get off!
735
00:39:06,376 --> 00:39:07,793
Where do you think you're going?
736
00:39:08,626 --> 00:39:09,626
[panting]
737
00:39:09,709 --> 00:39:10,709
[gasps]
738
00:39:11,209 --> 00:39:13,501
Hmm, what do we have here?
739
00:39:14,626 --> 00:39:16,418
-Oh!
-Uh…
740
00:39:18,834 --> 00:39:19,834
That's nasty.
741
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,126
-[gasps]
-All right!
742
00:39:23,709 --> 00:39:25,376
-Hey!
-There he goes! This way!
743
00:39:25,876 --> 00:39:26,876
D'oh!
744
00:39:27,459 --> 00:39:28,793
Come here!
745
00:39:30,918 --> 00:39:32,293
[groans]
746
00:39:37,418 --> 00:39:39,834
I could've sworn he went this way.
747
00:39:39,918 --> 00:39:41,334
Where is he?
748
00:39:41,418 --> 00:39:43,126
He gave us the slip.
749
00:39:45,459 --> 00:39:46,626
[sighs]
750
00:39:50,334 --> 00:39:52,959
[Greg narrating] Somehow, I managed
to get back to Grandpa's room.
751
00:39:54,293 --> 00:40:00,876
But Rodrick can never find out about this.
'Cause if he does, I'm a dead man.
752
00:40:00,959 --> 00:40:03,876
You're in big trouble, young man.
753
00:40:03,959 --> 00:40:05,459
[whimpers]
754
00:40:07,959 --> 00:40:10,293
Rodrick just rolled a 12!
755
00:40:13,918 --> 00:40:15,168
[chuckling]
756
00:40:15,251 --> 00:40:18,501
That means you've gotta fork over
half your cards.
757
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:23,043
Come on, snake eyes!
758
00:40:25,501 --> 00:40:30,084
Put some pants on, for the love of Pete.
759
00:40:30,168 --> 00:40:31,543
[chuckles]
760
00:40:31,626 --> 00:40:34,126
Is there something you want to tell me,
little brother?
761
00:40:34,709 --> 00:40:35,709
[gulps]
762
00:40:42,418 --> 00:40:44,876
[snoring]
763
00:40:47,709 --> 00:40:48,834
[sighs]
764
00:40:48,918 --> 00:40:49,918
Open up!
765
00:40:50,001 --> 00:40:52,251
[snores]
766
00:40:52,334 --> 00:40:54,709
[grunting]
767
00:40:54,793 --> 00:40:58,168
[gasps] Grandpa, can we--
Can we please change the channel?
768
00:40:58,251 --> 00:41:01,084
There's nothing but a bunch of garbage
on TV.
769
00:41:01,959 --> 00:41:03,959
I like to watch people come and go.
770
00:41:04,043 --> 00:41:05,459
Ooh! Hot in there.
771
00:41:05,543 --> 00:41:07,001
[Grandpa] Barry Grossman!
772
00:41:07,668 --> 00:41:10,418
You've got time to sit in the sauna
for two hours,
773
00:41:10,918 --> 00:41:15,001
but you can't bother yourself
to return my vacuum cleaner!
774
00:41:15,084 --> 00:41:16,251
[laughs]
775
00:41:16,334 --> 00:41:20,251
Bah, fine! You can have the clicker.
776
00:41:21,959 --> 00:41:25,834
And in some disturbing news,
earlier this evening,
777
00:41:25,918 --> 00:41:29,543
a Peeping Tom was spotted
in the women's bathroom at Leisure--
778
00:41:29,626 --> 00:41:30,626
[button clicking]
779
00:41:30,709 --> 00:41:32,459
[snores]
780
00:41:33,459 --> 00:41:34,876
[door opens]
781
00:41:35,959 --> 00:41:36,959
[shouts]
782
00:41:38,209 --> 00:41:41,626
You're jumpy tonight.
Mind you don't wake up your brother.
783
00:41:41,709 --> 00:41:45,501
Oh, yeah. You're right, Grandpa. There's--
There's nothing good on TV.
784
00:41:45,584 --> 00:41:47,459
Ha! Told you so.
785
00:41:47,543 --> 00:41:53,459
[sighs] You know, Greg, I might be old,
but I'm no fool.
786
00:41:53,543 --> 00:41:55,126
I know what's really going on.
787
00:41:56,709 --> 00:41:57,709
You do?
788
00:41:57,793 --> 00:42:01,084
You and your brother aren't here
because you want to be here.
789
00:42:01,584 --> 00:42:03,751
Your parents made you come.
790
00:42:03,834 --> 00:42:07,001
That's not true.
Grandpa, we wanted to come here.
791
00:42:07,084 --> 00:42:09,043
[laughs]
792
00:42:09,126 --> 00:42:14,251
No boys your age would choose to spend
the weekend with an old codger like me.
793
00:42:14,334 --> 00:42:17,501
Ha! Yeah, well, I'll tell you this.
794
00:42:17,584 --> 00:42:21,626
I've enjoyed every second of it.
You're good boys.
795
00:42:24,126 --> 00:42:25,126
I guess.
796
00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:30,543
I know you boys love each other,
because you spend time together.
797
00:42:31,834 --> 00:42:36,543
It wasn't always that way with my boys.
798
00:42:37,043 --> 00:42:39,418
And now they've grown apart.
799
00:42:39,501 --> 00:42:42,168
They don't even spend
the holidays together.
800
00:42:43,043 --> 00:42:46,293
I just wish they'd worked things out
when they were young.
801
00:42:47,209 --> 00:42:49,043
Like you and Rodrick have.
802
00:42:49,918 --> 00:42:52,084
Maybe things would be different now.
803
00:42:54,293 --> 00:42:55,293
[Greg] Yeah.
804
00:43:01,668 --> 00:43:02,751
[doorbell rings]
805
00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:07,668
Hey, Greg.
806
00:43:09,626 --> 00:43:12,043
Rowley, I told you not to wear stripes.
807
00:43:12,126 --> 00:43:14,709
But I thought we could be twins.
808
00:43:14,793 --> 00:43:18,626
Eh, eh? See? Twins.
809
00:43:19,459 --> 00:43:21,043
Great. Now I gotta change.
810
00:43:23,293 --> 00:43:25,876
What did you do
your Life Sciences project on?
811
00:43:26,751 --> 00:43:29,793
-My what?
-Your Life Sciences project.
812
00:43:29,876 --> 00:43:31,043
It's due today.
813
00:43:31,126 --> 00:43:32,501
That's due today?
814
00:43:32,584 --> 00:43:35,834
Yeah. And it's, like, 25% of our grade.
815
00:43:35,918 --> 00:43:39,043
Oh, man! I forgot all about that project.
816
00:43:39,126 --> 00:43:43,668
What are you gonna do?
'Cause this project is 25% of our grade.
817
00:43:43,751 --> 00:43:45,626
I know, Rowley! Let me think.
818
00:43:52,209 --> 00:43:53,209
Rodrick.
819
00:43:54,334 --> 00:43:55,418
Rodrick?
820
00:43:59,209 --> 00:44:00,918
Rodrick! I need your help!
821
00:44:01,001 --> 00:44:04,043
Calm down, Gregory.
What's got your underwear in a bunch?
822
00:44:04,126 --> 00:44:06,209
I've got a Life Science project due today!
823
00:44:06,793 --> 00:44:09,001
Yeah? And what's that got to do with me?
824
00:44:09,084 --> 00:44:12,209
Well, I figured you might know some trick.
Some way out of this.
825
00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:16,376
Well, you could pretend you're sick.
Skip school.
826
00:44:16,459 --> 00:44:19,418
Mom would know I'm faking.
She always knows.
827
00:44:19,501 --> 00:44:21,334
You could tell your teacher Manny ate it.
828
00:44:21,418 --> 00:44:23,668
Really, Rodrick?
That's the best you can come up with?
829
00:44:29,251 --> 00:44:33,001
You know I still have dirt on you, right?
I can come clean to Mom right now.
830
00:44:34,876 --> 00:44:39,334
Hmm. Did you say Life Sciences?
That does ring a bell.
831
00:44:40,793 --> 00:44:42,209
Let's see.
832
00:44:42,793 --> 00:44:43,918
No. No.
833
00:44:44,001 --> 00:44:46,793
-[grunts] Ah!
-What are you doing?
834
00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:52,084
My life Sciences project.
And in mint condition too.
835
00:44:52,793 --> 00:44:53,793
Let me see that.
836
00:44:53,876 --> 00:44:55,251
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
837
00:44:55,334 --> 00:44:58,168
This is some of my best work.
It's why I saved it.
838
00:44:58,251 --> 00:44:59,584
Awesome. Here, give it.
839
00:44:59,668 --> 00:45:03,209
No, sir. This is gonna cost you.
840
00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:06,918
Come on, Rodrick.
Me and you have a partnership. A deal.
841
00:45:07,001 --> 00:45:11,418
Yeah. Well, our deal doesn't cover
this kind of thing. This is extra.
842
00:45:11,501 --> 00:45:13,126
Okay, what do you want for it?
843
00:45:13,209 --> 00:45:14,709
I want cash.
844
00:45:14,793 --> 00:45:17,043
[groans] I don't have any cash.
845
00:45:17,126 --> 00:45:19,834
I'm talking Mom Bucks. Large bills only.
846
00:45:19,918 --> 00:45:21,834
Come on, Rodrick. Don't you have enough?
847
00:45:21,918 --> 00:45:25,668
No, you can never have enough Mom Bucks.
That's Rodrick Rule number five.
848
00:45:25,751 --> 00:45:27,876
Fine. I'll give you 20. That's fair.
849
00:45:28,876 --> 00:45:33,709
Mmm, actually,
you seem a little too eager.
850
00:45:33,793 --> 00:45:35,001
Make it a hundred.
851
00:45:35,084 --> 00:45:36,084
[groans]
852
00:45:37,376 --> 00:45:39,876
Fine. But you can't tell anyone
about this.
853
00:45:40,626 --> 00:45:44,626
I may be a lot of things,
but one thing I am not is a snitch.
854
00:45:48,543 --> 00:45:50,793
Great doing business with you, brother.
855
00:45:52,793 --> 00:45:55,626
[bell rings]
856
00:45:56,251 --> 00:46:02,168
You got one of Rodrick's old projects?
But isn't that cheating?
857
00:46:02,251 --> 00:46:05,251
It's not cheating. It's gaming the system.
858
00:46:07,418 --> 00:46:09,418
I told you not to look at me like that.
859
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:11,084
But what if he got a bad grade?
860
00:46:11,168 --> 00:46:14,709
My parents always help Rodrick
with his homework. So, I'm all set.
861
00:46:14,793 --> 00:46:16,001
Can I see?
862
00:46:17,709 --> 00:46:22,918
Um, Greg? I don't think
your parents helped with this one.
863
00:46:23,001 --> 00:46:24,251
Give me that!
864
00:46:24,834 --> 00:46:26,834
[Rodrick] Do plants sneeze?
865
00:46:26,918 --> 00:46:29,501
Hypothesis. Plants probably sneeze.
866
00:46:29,584 --> 00:46:31,251
Experiment. Hmm.
867
00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:33,501
Conclusion. Plants don't sneeze.
868
00:46:34,793 --> 00:46:37,209
[chuckles, whimpers]
869
00:46:38,043 --> 00:46:39,168
Hmm.
870
00:46:39,251 --> 00:46:41,334
Rodrick!
871
00:46:47,751 --> 00:46:50,168
[rock music playing]
872
00:46:50,876 --> 00:46:52,209
[Bill] ♪ All right ♪
873
00:46:52,293 --> 00:46:53,293
[grunts]
874
00:46:53,918 --> 00:46:56,168
[screams]
875
00:46:57,501 --> 00:46:58,501
[grunts]
876
00:47:00,959 --> 00:47:03,709
♪ Oh, yeah!
Yeah! ♪
877
00:47:05,251 --> 00:47:07,376
[mike feedback]
878
00:47:07,459 --> 00:47:09,418
[drums beating]
879
00:47:10,334 --> 00:47:11,668
You lied to me!
880
00:47:11,751 --> 00:47:14,126
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not true, bro.
881
00:47:14,209 --> 00:47:16,584
You said this was your best work!
882
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:21,209
It was. You should've seen
my other school projects.
883
00:47:22,084 --> 00:47:23,084
Yeah.
884
00:47:23,168 --> 00:47:24,876
Well, I want my money back.
885
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,793
No refunds. A deal's a deal.
886
00:47:28,959 --> 00:47:32,459
Yeah, about that.
Let's see if these change your mind.
887
00:47:34,543 --> 00:47:36,418
Yo! That's me.
888
00:47:38,709 --> 00:47:41,251
Wha-- Oh. [chuckles] My bad.
889
00:47:41,334 --> 00:47:43,168
Please, uh-- Please continue, bros.
890
00:47:44,376 --> 00:47:47,959
You wouldn't show these to Mom or Dad.
You're no snitch.
891
00:47:48,043 --> 00:47:50,751
You have no idea what I'm willing to do.
892
00:47:50,834 --> 00:47:55,251
All-- All right.
Here, I'll give you your $100 back.
893
00:47:55,334 --> 00:47:59,168
Hmm. You seem a little eager.
894
00:47:59,918 --> 00:48:04,001
It's gonna cost you
approximately 200 Mom Bucks.
895
00:48:04,584 --> 00:48:06,751
Uh, "Mom Bucks"?
896
00:48:08,334 --> 00:48:12,126
[sighs] Nice doing business with you,
brother.
897
00:48:13,501 --> 00:48:17,126
So, do plants sneeze?
898
00:48:19,709 --> 00:48:23,084
[Greg narrating] I'm not gonna say
I'm proud of myself for what I did.
899
00:48:23,168 --> 00:48:25,251
But I learned how to negotiate
from the master.
900
00:48:25,334 --> 00:48:26,959
[rock music playing]
901
00:48:27,043 --> 00:48:29,126
[humming]
902
00:48:30,001 --> 00:48:32,876
♪ Uh-huh, that's right
That's where you're shaking ♪
903
00:48:32,959 --> 00:48:34,334
-[screams]
-[grunts]
904
00:48:38,084 --> 00:48:41,709
Greg, you need to watch
where you're going.
905
00:48:41,793 --> 00:48:45,043
[groans] Just look at this mess.
906
00:48:47,293 --> 00:48:48,293
[gasps]
907
00:48:53,543 --> 00:48:55,626
[scoffs] I don't believe this.
908
00:48:55,709 --> 00:49:00,168
I-- A party? Guys? Seriously?
909
00:49:00,251 --> 00:49:03,751
Counterfeit money?
Where did you boys get all this?
910
00:49:04,459 --> 00:49:09,459
I knew that bathroom locked!
Aha! I am not going crazy.
911
00:49:09,543 --> 00:49:15,209
You boys had a party in our home.
Somebody could've gotten hurt or worse.
912
00:49:15,293 --> 00:49:16,293
See? See?
913
00:49:16,376 --> 00:49:19,001
Didn't I tell you it wasn't a good idea
for these two to be hanging out?
914
00:49:19,084 --> 00:49:24,084
Greg, it might not have been your party,
but you helped cover it up.
915
00:49:24,168 --> 00:49:26,084
You lied to us.
916
00:49:26,168 --> 00:49:27,834
And because of that, you are grounded.
917
00:49:27,918 --> 00:49:31,209
No video games or electronics
for three weeks.
918
00:49:31,293 --> 00:49:33,668
And Rodrick, you're the older brother.
919
00:49:33,751 --> 00:49:36,251
What kind of example are you setting
for Greg?
920
00:49:36,334 --> 00:49:39,376
A bad example?
921
00:49:40,459 --> 00:49:44,084
You're grounded for a month.
Hand over your van keys.
922
00:49:46,751 --> 00:49:48,834
Plus, you boys are doing the dishes
every night.
923
00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:52,501
And don't give me any of this
"my body's on a schedule" nonsense.
924
00:49:52,584 --> 00:49:53,584
Mom?
925
00:49:53,668 --> 00:49:54,668
What, Rodrick?
926
00:49:54,751 --> 00:49:57,543
So, I get that I can't use my van.
Totally fair.
927
00:49:58,084 --> 00:50:01,126
But I can still go to the talent show
if I get a ride, right?
928
00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:05,168
No, Rodrick. Grounded means grounded.
No extracurricular stuff.
929
00:50:05,251 --> 00:50:09,334
But-- But-- But-- But we--
But we've been practicing for months.
930
00:50:09,418 --> 00:50:11,626
If I can't play, the other guys
won't be able to be in the show--
931
00:50:11,709 --> 00:50:14,043
Actions have consequences.
932
00:50:14,126 --> 00:50:18,126
What kind of parents would we be
if we let you go to the talent show?
933
00:50:19,168 --> 00:50:20,834
Good parents?
934
00:50:23,834 --> 00:50:25,751
-Mom?
-Yes, Greg?
935
00:50:26,251 --> 00:50:29,793
Since Rodrick can't be in the talent show,
I can't either, right?
936
00:50:29,876 --> 00:50:31,543
Because that wouldn't be fair.
937
00:50:31,626 --> 00:50:35,959
You are not using this as an excuse
to get out of that talent show, Greg!
938
00:50:36,501 --> 00:50:40,168
You can't let Rowley down.
He's done so much for you.
939
00:50:40,251 --> 00:50:43,084
Now go.
Go help your brother with the dishes.
940
00:51:01,751 --> 00:51:04,418
So, that was pretty crazy back there, huh?
941
00:51:05,376 --> 00:51:08,418
I mean, three weeks of no electronics,
I expected.
942
00:51:08,501 --> 00:51:11,001
But your punishment was a little harsh
if you ask me.
943
00:51:11,084 --> 00:51:14,251
It wouldn't have happened
if you didn't snitch.
944
00:51:14,334 --> 00:51:16,751
Hey, whoa! I didn't say anything!
945
00:51:16,834 --> 00:51:20,043
You marched right upstairs
and went straight to Mommy and Daddy.
946
00:51:20,126 --> 00:51:21,834
You ratted me out!
947
00:51:21,918 --> 00:51:25,501
No snitching.
That's Rodrick Rule number one!
948
00:51:25,584 --> 00:51:29,084
I thought rule number one was
no apostrophes.
949
00:51:29,918 --> 00:51:31,793
And besides, that's not what happened!
950
00:51:31,876 --> 00:51:35,793
I took you under my wing! I trusted you!
951
00:51:38,793 --> 00:51:42,876
Yeah, it's been great.
You've taught me a lot.
952
00:51:43,918 --> 00:51:47,793
Yeah, and the only reason that I did
was because you had dirt on me.
953
00:51:47,876 --> 00:51:50,793
And now you don't. So, watch your back.
954
00:51:51,959 --> 00:51:53,334
But--
955
00:51:53,418 --> 00:51:56,793
I thought you were cool.
Guess I was wrong.
956
00:52:07,001 --> 00:52:11,543
Introducing the Amazing Rowley Jefferson!
957
00:52:12,584 --> 00:52:14,584
Whoo, yeah!
958
00:52:15,334 --> 00:52:21,418
And with a wave of my magic wand,
the egg has disappeared!
959
00:52:21,501 --> 00:52:22,501
[egg breaks]
960
00:52:23,834 --> 00:52:28,251
Greg, you were supposed to turn the cup
upside down before you gave it back to me.
961
00:52:29,668 --> 00:52:32,084
Huh? Oh, yeah. Next time.
962
00:52:32,168 --> 00:52:36,626
If we don't get this right
by Friday night, we're never gonna win!
963
00:52:36,709 --> 00:52:40,418
We're not gonna win, Rowley.
We're competing against high schoolers.
964
00:52:42,043 --> 00:52:45,126
Well, at least we don't have to go
against your brother's band.
965
00:52:45,626 --> 00:52:49,209
[sighs] Yes, we do.
They got a replacement drummer.
966
00:52:49,293 --> 00:52:50,668
Oh.
967
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,084
Hey, I've got an idea.
968
00:52:53,668 --> 00:52:55,918
I was thinking
maybe I could be the magician
969
00:52:56,001 --> 00:52:58,334
and you could be the assistant.
970
00:52:58,418 --> 00:53:00,293
It's way more believable that way.
971
00:53:00,376 --> 00:53:04,293
But it's my magic set!
I got it for my birthday!
972
00:53:05,459 --> 00:53:07,334
Okay, okay.
973
00:53:07,418 --> 00:53:08,543
-Gee whiz.
-[door opens]
974
00:53:08,626 --> 00:53:10,418
Hey, guys!
975
00:53:10,501 --> 00:53:13,751
Hi, Rodrick. Wanna see some magic?
976
00:53:13,834 --> 00:53:17,126
Nah, wouldn't want you to spoil it for me.
Save it for the big night.
977
00:53:17,209 --> 00:53:19,168
Oh. Okay!
978
00:53:19,251 --> 00:53:21,126
Wait. What are you doing up here?
979
00:53:21,209 --> 00:53:25,459
I found something on the kitchen table.
Thought it might belong to you.
980
00:53:26,626 --> 00:53:28,334
Hey! Give it back!
981
00:53:28,418 --> 00:53:33,334
Easy there, little brother.
I was just returning your property.
982
00:53:34,459 --> 00:53:37,334
Wait. You didn't read it, did you?
983
00:53:37,418 --> 00:53:40,709
Read it? [scoffs]
Way too many words for me.
984
00:53:41,418 --> 00:53:42,418
[sighs]
985
00:53:43,501 --> 00:53:46,668
I did look at the pictures though.
986
00:53:46,751 --> 00:53:48,751
And boy, I learned a lot.
987
00:53:48,834 --> 00:53:53,293
Like what really happened
at Leisure Towers.
988
00:53:54,834 --> 00:53:55,834
That's private.
989
00:53:55,918 --> 00:53:58,543
Well, it's about to be public.
990
00:53:58,626 --> 00:54:00,293
See, I know people.
991
00:54:00,376 --> 00:54:03,959
And those people have little brothers
and sisters that go to your school.
992
00:54:04,043 --> 00:54:07,168
And I'll bet they're gonna love
reading about your little adventure
993
00:54:07,251 --> 00:54:08,251
in the women's bathroom.
994
00:54:08,334 --> 00:54:09,668
You wouldn't!
995
00:54:09,751 --> 00:54:13,543
You ratted me out.
These are the consequences.
996
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:15,543
-[shouts, grunts]
-[grunts]
997
00:54:15,626 --> 00:54:16,626
Give me that!
998
00:54:22,626 --> 00:54:23,793
Oh! [chuckles]
999
00:54:23,876 --> 00:54:25,293
-[Greg grunts]
-[Rodrick] Ow!
1000
00:54:27,543 --> 00:54:28,709
No!
1001
00:54:29,834 --> 00:54:31,001
Ooh!
1002
00:54:33,584 --> 00:54:34,709
Nice catch.
1003
00:54:34,793 --> 00:54:35,793
[chuckles]
1004
00:54:36,293 --> 00:54:37,626
-Oops!
-[phone beeps]
1005
00:54:38,251 --> 00:54:41,084
[phone chiming]
1006
00:54:41,168 --> 00:54:42,918
No!
1007
00:54:45,001 --> 00:54:46,001
My bad.
1008
00:54:47,376 --> 00:54:50,584
[Greg narrating] Believe me, I did not
want to go to school the next day.
1009
00:54:50,668 --> 00:54:55,084
After Rodrick's little text was sent out,
my reputation was gonna be ruined.
1010
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:58,209
But I knew I couldn't hide forever.
1011
00:54:58,293 --> 00:55:01,959
So, I just decided to bite the bullet
and get it over with.
1012
00:55:02,918 --> 00:55:04,918
[students chattering]
1013
00:55:08,168 --> 00:55:10,793
All right, Rowley. Let's do this.
1014
00:55:11,334 --> 00:55:12,334
Rowley?
1015
00:55:13,626 --> 00:55:15,668
You got this, Greg! [chuckles]
1016
00:55:15,751 --> 00:55:16,876
[sighs]
1017
00:55:19,709 --> 00:55:22,084
-This week's flying by, like, so fast.
-I know!
1018
00:55:22,168 --> 00:55:24,084
-Wait. Wait. Is that Greg Heffley?
-Look!
1019
00:55:24,626 --> 00:55:25,876
[both] Whoa!
1020
00:55:27,668 --> 00:55:28,668
[cheering]
1021
00:55:28,751 --> 00:55:29,834
What?
1022
00:55:32,001 --> 00:55:35,959
[chanting] Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!
Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!
1023
00:55:36,043 --> 00:55:39,001
[Greg narrating] It took me a few minutes
to figure out what was going on.
1024
00:55:40,043 --> 00:55:42,626
Rodrick's message went out
to all of his friends.
1025
00:55:43,209 --> 00:55:44,209
[phone beeps]
1026
00:55:44,293 --> 00:55:47,126
His friends told their brothers
and sisters what happened to me,
1027
00:55:47,209 --> 00:55:48,501
and they told their friends.
1028
00:55:48,584 --> 00:55:49,584
Just like Rodrick planned it.
1029
00:55:49,668 --> 00:55:51,626
But I guess people mixed up the facts
1030
00:55:51,709 --> 00:55:55,584
because by the time I got to school,
the story was totally scrambled.
1031
00:55:58,293 --> 00:55:59,543
Somehow the story went
1032
00:55:59,626 --> 00:56:02,834
from me being caught
in the ladies' room at Leisure Towers,
1033
00:56:02,918 --> 00:56:07,209
to me sneaking into a bingo game
and walking off with the grand prize.
1034
00:56:07,293 --> 00:56:09,793
Bingo! [chuckles]
1035
00:56:09,876 --> 00:56:10,876
-[grunts]
-[grunts]
1036
00:56:10,959 --> 00:56:14,501
And the only thing people got right was
me getting chased by the security guards.
1037
00:56:14,584 --> 00:56:16,959
But even that stuff got exaggerated.
1038
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,001
-[growls]
-Hey!
1039
00:56:20,084 --> 00:56:21,084
-Whoa!
-Whoa!
1040
00:56:21,168 --> 00:56:23,126
[blows raspberry]
1041
00:56:27,459 --> 00:56:29,418
[Greg narrating] Even the thing
with the vending machines
1042
00:56:29,501 --> 00:56:30,584
made it into the story,
1043
00:56:30,668 --> 00:56:32,334
but the facts got mixed up there too.
1044
00:56:33,876 --> 00:56:36,876
I wasn't exactly in a hurry
to set the record straight, though.
1045
00:56:36,959 --> 00:56:40,293
Because the new version of the story
made me look pretty sick.
1046
00:56:42,293 --> 00:56:43,918
[crowd cheering]
1047
00:56:44,543 --> 00:56:46,709
So Rodrick's plan backfired,
1048
00:56:46,793 --> 00:56:49,043
and I got a taste of what it's like
to be popular for once.
1049
00:56:49,126 --> 00:56:51,584
Wow! This is so cool! I got his autograph!
1050
00:56:52,418 --> 00:56:54,168
[Greg narrating]
But I knew it wouldn't last.
1051
00:56:54,834 --> 00:56:58,251
Because the second I took the stage
as Rowley's assistant at the talent show,
1052
00:56:58,334 --> 00:57:00,293
my reputation was gonna take a nosedive.
1053
00:57:00,376 --> 00:57:03,918
[sighs] I don't get
why I have to go to this thing.
1054
00:57:04,001 --> 00:57:08,543
You're here to cheer on your brother,
Rodrick, and your bandmates.
1055
00:57:08,626 --> 00:57:10,209
Ex-bandmates.
1056
00:57:10,918 --> 00:57:14,959
[grunts] D-Does the rec center have
a bathroom?
1057
00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:21,084
[engine revs]
1058
00:57:25,001 --> 00:57:27,918
[chattering]
1059
00:57:28,001 --> 00:57:31,251
[Frank] Okay. Everyone, hop out.
I'll go look for a spot.
1060
00:57:40,209 --> 00:57:42,543
Yo! What's shaking, little man?
1061
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:43,834
Uh, nothing much.
1062
00:57:43,918 --> 00:57:47,584
So, we heard about your little dustup
over at Leisure Towers.
1063
00:57:47,668 --> 00:57:48,668
The what?
1064
00:57:49,293 --> 00:57:50,418
Oh, yeah. That.
1065
00:57:50,501 --> 00:57:53,084
Dude, you're a legend!
1066
00:57:53,168 --> 00:57:55,543
An absolute lege, dude!
1067
00:57:55,626 --> 00:57:56,918
Yeah, I guess.
1068
00:57:57,001 --> 00:57:58,668
So, we were thinking,
1069
00:57:59,376 --> 00:58:03,709
if we join forces tonight,
we could win this thing.
1070
00:58:03,793 --> 00:58:05,501
Huh? I-I don't get it.
1071
00:58:05,584 --> 00:58:08,793
You've got the middle school vote.
And we've got the high school vote.
1072
00:58:08,876 --> 00:58:11,251
And I've got the Mom vote. Not to brag.
1073
00:58:11,334 --> 00:58:13,168
What do you mean "join forces"?
1074
00:58:13,251 --> 00:58:18,293
How'd you like to be
Löded Diper's new drummer?
1075
00:58:18,834 --> 00:58:20,876
What? I don't know how to play the drums.
1076
00:58:20,959 --> 00:58:22,918
We know your brother's been teaching you.
1077
00:58:23,001 --> 00:58:26,626
Time for the student to become the master.
1078
00:58:26,709 --> 00:58:31,334
Sorry, guys. I'm in my friend's magic act.
I can't get out of it.
1079
00:58:31,418 --> 00:58:37,751
That's where Larry comes in.
We'll do a clean swap. You for him.
1080
00:58:37,834 --> 00:58:39,834
Magic is my real passion.
1081
00:58:40,376 --> 00:58:41,709
Ta-da!
1082
00:58:42,209 --> 00:58:46,209
I just can't do that to Rodrick.
He's my brother.
1083
00:58:47,293 --> 00:58:48,876
Why don't you just think it over?
1084
00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:52,459
Maybe this is your turn to shine, my dude.
1085
00:59:04,126 --> 00:59:05,584
I'll think about it.
1086
00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:08,793
That's all we're asking, little man.
1087
00:59:13,251 --> 00:59:16,251
[audience chattering]
1088
00:59:16,876 --> 00:59:18,293
[mike feedback]
1089
00:59:34,376 --> 00:59:36,459
-Yo! It's Greg!
-That's Greg Heffley!
1090
00:59:37,084 --> 00:59:39,918
-You're a legend, dude.
-[chuckles] Yeah, thanks.
1091
00:59:41,209 --> 00:59:42,501
Oh!
1092
00:59:42,584 --> 00:59:44,959
Is that Boy Size Small?
1093
00:59:48,001 --> 00:59:49,043
Where were you?
1094
00:59:49,126 --> 00:59:50,543
I just got held up.
1095
00:59:59,751 --> 01:00:01,584
[orchestral music playing]
1096
01:00:01,668 --> 01:00:04,709
Oh, this is so exciting.
1097
01:00:06,209 --> 01:00:09,793
[announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!
1098
01:00:09,876 --> 01:00:14,501
-Welcome to the Talent Show!
-[cheering]
1099
01:00:18,793 --> 01:00:21,376
[playing off-key]
1100
01:00:21,876 --> 01:00:23,543
[crowd murmuring]
1101
01:00:25,543 --> 01:00:27,793
[groans]
1102
01:00:38,043 --> 01:00:42,793
Then the man in the orthopedic shoes said,
"I stand corrected!"
1103
01:00:42,876 --> 01:00:45,043
-[laughs]
-[grunts]
1104
01:00:45,126 --> 01:00:47,043
[house music playing]
1105
01:00:49,376 --> 01:00:51,251
[beatboxing]
1106
01:00:51,334 --> 01:00:53,251
[beatboxing]
1107
01:00:53,334 --> 01:00:54,334
Oh.
1108
01:00:54,418 --> 01:00:58,709
♪ Amor fatal ♪
1109
01:00:58,793 --> 01:01:01,543
♪ Tremendo ♪
1110
01:01:01,626 --> 01:01:05,418
♪ Tremendo ♪
1111
01:01:11,293 --> 01:01:12,501
[whispering] I've got to get ready.
1112
01:01:12,584 --> 01:01:14,543
-Break a leg, Greg.
-Okay.
1113
01:01:14,626 --> 01:01:17,668
Do your best for Rowley.
Try and look like you're having fun.
1114
01:01:17,751 --> 01:01:18,751
Hey, Greg.
1115
01:01:19,668 --> 01:01:24,168
Can't wait to see you do your magic.
[scoffs] So uncool.
1116
01:01:30,251 --> 01:01:32,584
Are you ready for some magic, Manny?
1117
01:01:32,668 --> 01:01:35,251
-Yay!
-Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
1118
01:01:35,334 --> 01:01:38,334
[Bill] Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
1119
01:01:38,834 --> 01:01:41,876
We have just one question for you.
1120
01:01:41,959 --> 01:01:43,626
-[snores, gasps]
-Wake up!
1121
01:01:43,709 --> 01:01:48,293
Are you ready to rock?
1122
01:01:48,376 --> 01:01:49,376
[mike feedback]
1123
01:01:49,459 --> 01:01:51,126
Yeah!
1124
01:01:51,209 --> 01:01:57,043
Now, before we explode your eardrums
with a blast of pure rock and roll,
1125
01:01:58,084 --> 01:02:03,043
it's time to introduce
the newest member of Löded Diper.
1126
01:02:03,543 --> 01:02:09,709
Please join me in welcoming
Greg Heffley to the stage!
1127
01:02:09,793 --> 01:02:10,751
-[gasps]
-Greg?
1128
01:02:13,293 --> 01:02:14,959
[cheering]
1129
01:02:20,168 --> 01:02:22,959
Come on, little dude. Give 'em a taste.
1130
01:02:25,834 --> 01:02:27,876
Oh. Oof.
1131
01:02:27,959 --> 01:02:29,209
-[audience chattering]
-[laughs]
1132
01:02:43,209 --> 01:02:44,376
[cheering]
1133
01:02:44,459 --> 01:02:46,584
Yeah, right on.
1134
01:02:46,668 --> 01:02:48,418
We love you, Greg!
1135
01:02:48,501 --> 01:02:54,168
[chanting] Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!
Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!
1136
01:03:15,584 --> 01:03:18,418
Yo, you ready
to blow the roof off this place?
1137
01:03:38,376 --> 01:03:40,418
Hey. You're missing the show.
1138
01:03:41,001 --> 01:03:45,126
What are you doing out here?
Aren't you supposed to be on stage?
1139
01:03:45,209 --> 01:03:47,376
I don't know. It didn't feel right.
1140
01:03:47,459 --> 01:03:50,334
Well, maybe that's because it's not right.
1141
01:03:50,876 --> 01:03:55,293
You stole my spot just to get back at me
for the diary thing.
1142
01:03:55,376 --> 01:03:59,501
Pretty much.
But it wasn't just about payback.
1143
01:03:59,584 --> 01:04:01,543
[scoffs] Yeah, right.
1144
01:04:02,251 --> 01:04:05,251
I, uh, wanted you to be proud of me.
1145
01:04:05,334 --> 01:04:07,959
Proud of you? For what?
1146
01:04:08,584 --> 01:04:11,334
I-I know. I-It was dumb.
1147
01:04:13,209 --> 01:04:16,043
I've got something that I've got to
get off my chest too, I guess.
1148
01:04:16,126 --> 01:04:20,334
I-- I shouldn't have taken your diary.
1149
01:04:21,168 --> 01:04:24,168
That wasn't… cool.
1150
01:04:26,293 --> 01:04:30,376
I don't understand why we can't
just get along like normal brothers.
1151
01:04:30,876 --> 01:04:33,751
This is normal. Brothers fight.
1152
01:04:34,251 --> 01:04:37,418
We just… took it too far.
1153
01:04:37,918 --> 01:04:42,543
But do you think we're gonna be all right,
like, in the long run?
1154
01:04:42,626 --> 01:04:45,418
What? What do you mean?
1155
01:04:45,501 --> 01:04:49,626
Well, Dad and his brothers don't even
see each other on holidays anymore.
1156
01:04:49,709 --> 01:04:51,918
Is that gonna happen to us?
1157
01:04:57,459 --> 01:05:01,543
Heck, yeah, we're gonna see each other
on the holidays. We're family.
1158
01:05:04,959 --> 01:05:07,668
But I am not hosting. Too much work.
1159
01:05:07,751 --> 01:05:09,793
Okay. Deal.
1160
01:05:09,876 --> 01:05:12,793
Listen, me and you
are gonna have our battles.
1161
01:05:13,376 --> 01:05:15,918
But I really hope you know
that when the chips are down,
1162
01:05:16,001 --> 01:05:18,709
and I mean really down,
1163
01:05:18,793 --> 01:05:22,084
I'm gonna have your back.
And you better have mine.
1164
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:24,918
Because it's the Heffley brothers
against the world.
1165
01:05:26,501 --> 01:05:27,668
The Heffley brothers.
1166
01:05:29,876 --> 01:05:32,918
[crowd cheering] Greg! Greg! Greg!
1167
01:05:33,543 --> 01:05:37,084
So? Are you gonna keep sitting out here,
or are you gonna go make me proud?
1168
01:05:37,668 --> 01:05:41,584
Yeah, about that.
These don't belong to me.
1169
01:05:47,126 --> 01:05:50,459
Like you said, there's only one Rodrick.
And that's you.
1170
01:05:52,626 --> 01:05:53,793
[shouts, grunts]
1171
01:05:53,876 --> 01:05:55,334
[laughing]
1172
01:05:55,418 --> 01:05:57,334
[Rodrick] Wait a second.
I'm still grounded.
1173
01:05:57,418 --> 01:05:59,459
[Greg] Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
1174
01:05:59,543 --> 01:06:04,334
[Rodrick] Oh, well. Rodrick Rule number
ten. Always go out in a blaze of glory.
1175
01:06:04,418 --> 01:06:06,543
[both laugh]
1176
01:06:06,626 --> 01:06:08,543
-[crowd jeering]
-[crowd member] Come on, entertain us!
1177
01:06:08,626 --> 01:06:13,043
Stand by. Uh, we're just having some,
uh, technical difficulties.
1178
01:06:13,126 --> 01:06:14,584
[drums beating]
1179
01:06:14,668 --> 01:06:16,751
All right!
1180
01:06:16,834 --> 01:06:22,584
Please welcome
Löded Diper's original drummer,
1181
01:06:22,668 --> 01:06:24,626
Rodrick Heffley!
1182
01:06:24,709 --> 01:06:26,876
-Whoo!
-[crowd cheering]
1183
01:06:26,959 --> 01:06:28,209
-What?
-Rodrick?
1184
01:06:38,126 --> 01:06:40,084
Rodrick rules!
1185
01:06:40,168 --> 01:06:42,293
We love you, Rodrick!
1186
01:06:43,168 --> 01:06:44,626
Unbelievable.
1187
01:06:47,834 --> 01:06:51,793
Greg, you do understand
that you're both grounded?
1188
01:06:52,293 --> 01:06:53,334
Yeah, I know.
1189
01:06:53,418 --> 01:06:55,626
Rodrick isn't supposed to be up there.
1190
01:06:56,376 --> 01:06:59,626
So, we have no choice
but to extend your punishment.
1191
01:07:01,834 --> 01:07:02,834
It's worth it.
1192
01:07:02,918 --> 01:07:05,459
He's my brother. I've got his back.
1193
01:07:09,626 --> 01:07:12,626
You're raising some good boys there, Son.
1194
01:07:13,751 --> 01:07:14,751
Yeah.
1195
01:07:19,834 --> 01:07:21,751
[drumsticks hitting]
1196
01:07:30,668 --> 01:07:32,126
♪ All right! ♪
1197
01:07:34,876 --> 01:07:36,751
-♪ Oh, yeah! ♪
-[chuckles] Yippee!
1198
01:07:36,834 --> 01:07:38,709
-Whoo!
-Whoo-hoo!
1199
01:07:39,209 --> 01:07:40,334
[grunts]
1200
01:07:41,293 --> 01:07:42,293
♪ Yeah! ♪
1201
01:07:43,751 --> 01:07:48,584
♪ You never liked us
So you sent us underground ♪
1202
01:07:48,668 --> 01:07:50,168
[grunts]
1203
01:07:50,251 --> 01:07:51,251
Come on!
1204
01:07:51,334 --> 01:07:56,543
♪ You never listened
So we turned up the sound ♪
1205
01:07:57,043 --> 01:07:58,501
Huh?
1206
01:07:59,376 --> 01:08:04,251
♪ And now you're quaking
As I'm standing on stage ♪
1207
01:08:04,334 --> 01:08:06,834
-Yeah! Löded Diper!
-[Bill] Uh-huh! Yeah!
1208
01:08:06,918 --> 01:08:10,668
♪ That's why you're shaking
'Cause you're feeling your age ♪
1209
01:08:10,751 --> 01:08:12,584
Whoo! That's my jam!
1210
01:08:14,334 --> 01:08:18,251
♪ Your arms are waving
As you get on your feet ♪
1211
01:08:18,334 --> 01:08:21,709
♪ Your booty swaying
Like you ate some bad meat ♪
1212
01:08:21,793 --> 01:08:26,126
♪ So we say
Can you smell us now? ♪
1213
01:08:26,209 --> 01:08:29,626
♪ Filling up your nostrils
And you're mopping your brow ♪
1214
01:08:29,709 --> 01:08:31,793
♪ Come on
Can you smell us… ♪
1215
01:08:31,876 --> 01:08:33,543
What? Susan!
1216
01:08:33,626 --> 01:08:34,959
Yeah!
1217
01:08:35,043 --> 01:08:37,126
[screams] Whoo-hoo!
1218
01:08:38,459 --> 01:08:41,418
[both] ♪ Can you smell us now? ♪
1219
01:08:41,501 --> 01:08:42,501
Susan, your bunions!
1220
01:08:42,584 --> 01:08:43,876
Whoo!
1221
01:08:46,043 --> 01:08:48,251
-Oh, man! [laughs]
-Look at her!
1222
01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:53,668
♪ In stadiums, gymnasiums
So let's hear you shout! ♪
1223
01:08:53,751 --> 01:08:56,459
-Oh! See, I can't unsee that!
-[both laugh]
1224
01:08:56,543 --> 01:08:57,543
That's right.
1225
01:08:58,084 --> 01:09:00,293
-Whoo-hoo!
-Oh. [chuckles] Whoo!
1226
01:09:01,668 --> 01:09:02,918
[theme song playing]
1227
01:09:03,001 --> 01:09:06,793
[Greg narrating] Even after all that,
Löded Diper didn't win the talent show.
1228
01:09:06,876 --> 01:09:09,376
First place went to
the Amazing Rowley Jefferson
1229
01:09:09,459 --> 01:09:12,001
and his assistant Larry the Wonderful.
1230
01:09:12,084 --> 01:09:13,251
[cheering]
1231
01:09:13,334 --> 01:09:15,918
But it wasn't all bad news
for Rodrick and his band.
1232
01:09:16,001 --> 01:09:19,001
Thanks to Mom,
their music reached a whole new audience.
1233
01:09:29,501 --> 01:09:32,376
I'm really not too worried
about me and Rodrick growing apart.
1234
01:09:32,876 --> 01:09:35,668
Sure, we'll have our ups and downs,
but for now…
1235
01:09:36,168 --> 01:09:37,168
[shutter clicks]
1236
01:09:37,251 --> 01:09:38,251
…we're cool.
1237
01:09:47,668 --> 01:09:48,876
[theme song ends]
1238
01:12:59,293 --> 01:13:00,918
[rock music playing]
1239
01:13:02,959 --> 01:13:04,751
♪ All right! ♪
1240
01:13:07,209 --> 01:13:08,543
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪
1241
01:13:11,459 --> 01:13:12,584
[grunts]
1242
01:13:13,459 --> 01:13:14,459
♪ Yeah! ♪
1243
01:13:16,251 --> 01:13:19,543
♪ Can you smell us now? ♪
1244
01:13:19,626 --> 01:13:23,043
♪ Filling up your nostrils
And you're mopping your brow ♪
1245
01:13:23,126 --> 01:13:27,126
♪ Come on
Can you smell us now? ♪
1246
01:13:27,209 --> 01:13:31,626
♪ We're leaking through your speakers
Like a chocolate cow ♪
1247
01:13:31,709 --> 01:13:34,793
♪ Can you smell us now? ♪
1248
01:13:34,876 --> 01:13:38,793
♪ The pressure's building up
Now we're about to bust out ♪
1249
01:13:39,501 --> 01:13:42,584
♪ Can you smell us now? ♪
1250
01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:47,293
♪ In stadiums, gymnasiums
So let's hear you shout! ♪
1251
01:13:49,793 --> 01:13:50,793
♪ That's right ♪
1252
01:13:51,293 --> 01:13:53,876
♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪