1 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,800 You can't. There's no room. 2 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,802 No, come on, I can get one more. 3 00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:13,179 -Ooh! 4 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514 Wow, you're a genius. 5 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,726 Just looking out for you and the business. 6 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,604 You spent all this money on everything, might as well display it. 7 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,815 You gotta spend money to make money. 8 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,610 Plus it's not every day you get to put up an elf peeing on the naughty list. 9 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,238 Reporting for Channel 12, this is Remington Alexander 10 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,906 -back from vacation. -Finally. 11 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,201 Today's top story is the impending solar storm 12 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,871 threatening to knock out the Internet, cell phone service, 13 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,706 and possibly the power grid. 14 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,126 It incited panic and caused a rush on essential items... 15 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,711 So much fear mongering. 16 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:48,590 Maybe, but the solar storm is real. It's why China built a second sun. 17 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:52,594 Between the solar storm and the metaverse, I feel like it's coming out of both ends. 18 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,429 If I'm being totally honest, 19 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,681 I did buy 10 pounds of loose seeds just in case. 20 00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:00,268 I heard the Internet might go down. You aren't you worried about your Bitcoin? 21 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,104 I already converted it to Kohl's cash. 22 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,607 Stop. This is Y2K all over again. 23 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,358 They said computers would shut down, 24 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,611 my dad panicked and printed out all his porn. 25 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:12,572 Nothing happened except I had to use the other side of that porn 26 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,990 to print my essay on Gatsby. 27 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,034 The search for local Sandwich Hell employee, 28 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,244 Garrett Pennock, has taken a sexy turn-- 29 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,039 All right, let's just focus on the event. Okay? 30 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:24,209 Someone who survived the Gumdrop Avalanche once said, 31 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,962 "You must shine on," and that someone is Lil' Stevie. 32 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,547 I am confused. 33 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,633 I've explained it so many times. 34 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,552 People aren't renting enough DVDs to keep the lights on, 35 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,513 so we're pivoting to more special events. 36 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:40,100 You trick nerds into paying to meet a washed-up actor. 37 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:43,436 No, I understand that. I'm confused about Patrice. 38 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,688 I called her and she hasn't gotten back to me. 39 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,525 It's been two days, and now I'm worried that she's mad at me. 40 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,568 She's been like this all morning. 41 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,904 Worried my new best friend is mad? 42 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:56,032 Yeah, I'm a real monster. Oh, Patrice! 43 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,994 Just me. Found a Christmas bow. 44 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,456 Sorry. You have terrible posture just like Patrice. 45 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,259 I have never seen so many people here before. 46 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,970 Except for that one time someone claimed they saw Bono. 47 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:17,887 That was me. 48 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,349 Somebody left a pair of tinted sunglasses on a pumpkin. 49 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,686 I think I finally figured out how to run this business. 50 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:28,231 The pre-sales from this event alone will pay my rent for the next two months, 51 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,900 and a new spatula for the bathroom key. 52 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,902 Never underestimate nostalgia. 53 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,281 Nothing thrills people more than knowing their memory still works. 54 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:40,785 So, Lena, I was wondering... 55 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:44,789 Well, you like me, and I like you... 56 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,083 -I know labels are for losers-- 57 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,421 Oh, no. My mom thinks she saw a shoplifter and she's going to handle things her way. 58 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,089 Sorry, I better get there. 59 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,048 Of course. Right. 60 00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:02,098 Did I tell you that my community college offers classes at night? 61 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,350 What? Everything's coming up Hannah. 62 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,562 -The world is your oyster. -I could even major in oysters. 63 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:12,609 So I have a little secret. 64 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,526 Okay. 65 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,447 Eliza's husband Aaron 66 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,075 is going to re-propose to her in here tonight. 67 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,453 Really? I thought that marriage was a little rocky. 68 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,748 Well, that's why I told him he needs a grand gesture. 69 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,792 Things might be more complicated than you think. 70 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,671 Trust me, people always come to me about matters of the heart. 71 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,633 Fine. Aaron came in to get Eliza's schedule, 72 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,594 and then I think he just told me because he's bad at small talk. 73 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:43,556 I might also have news pretty soon that's gonna blow your mind. 74 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,184 Ooh! Please will you film the proposal for us. 75 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:50,897 Ideally, it would be as cinematic as... Pitch Perfect 2. 76 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,941 Come on. Please. 77 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:56,819 Eh, might as well have me pitch in while you can still afford me, Toots. 78 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,112 What? I can't pay. 79 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,907 -No, I know. I was gonna do it for free. -Okay. 80 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,035 Wow! Oh, my God. Look at all these weirdos. 81 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,204 It's definitely more Garfield sweatshirts 82 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,332 -than I'm used to in a day. -All these lives going sideways. 83 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,877 Standing in the cold for a 25-year-old Christmas movie. 84 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,257 No, I take that back. They're not weirdos. They're geekers. 85 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,510 -I heard that. You laughed. -Barely. 86 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,430 -You think I'm funny, don't you? -Funny adjacent. Okay? 87 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,520 Wow, looks like the North Pole in here. 88 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,147 Except less elf scat. Huge problem up there. 89 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,149 Oh. 90 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,360 Mistletoe. Could you imagine us kissing? 91 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,237 Like, how weird would that be? 92 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,990 Like, there's you and there's me and our lips, 93 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:46,411 and did you know that lips are technically a mucous membrane and not skin? 94 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,664 Huh, I did not know that or want to. 95 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,250 He's here! Lil' Stevie's here. 96 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,626 -Hey. -Sorry I'm late. 97 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,379 This dang solar storm stuff has me screwed up. 98 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,632 Also, I'm an adult now so you can call me just Stevie. 99 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:04,345 Just Stevie gets it. But, guess what else! We sold out. 100 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,265 -Really? -Wait. You sold out the event? 101 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,852 It's just that I retired from acting. 102 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,521 I haven't been in front of a crowd in over a decade. 103 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,233 -What if they're here to make fun of me? -What? No. People love you. 104 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,069 Just do what Lil' Stevie did in the movie 105 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,322 when he danced in front of the Sugar Plum Fairy. 106 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,991 Just give yourself a big hug for confidence. 107 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,160 Okay, sure. 108 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,579 We'll go warm up the crowd while you give yourself that hug. 109 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,497 -I can't wait. -It'll be awesome. 110 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,790 -Okay. -I'm so excited. 111 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,625 -It's gonna be so cool. -Sold out! 112 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,129 Oh, a hug. 113 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,674 Mm! 114 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,510 All right. Who wants to meet Lil' Stevie? 115 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,556 You don't sound that excited. 116 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,143 That's more like it. Okay. 117 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:56,147 How about we start with a little movie trivia contest. 118 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,942 -Winner gets this Truman Show key chain. -Uh-oh! 119 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,652 -Ooh! 120 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,613 All right, first question. 121 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,074 Besides But I'm Too Young to be Santa, 122 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:10,328 name another movie directed by Roman Polanski. 123 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,080 -Oh! 124 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,373 -Whoa! 125 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,582 Hi. 126 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,086 -Yeah! 127 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,671 You were supposed to go around. Not through. 128 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:21,756 Football! 129 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,677 Uh... Hey, Stevie. Why don't you say your catchphrase? 130 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,596 Yeah, sure. 131 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,765 Hey, hey, hey. 132 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,558 Did I do that? 133 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,186 -I pity the fool! -Okay. Stop it. 134 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,648 You're almost pathologically doing catchphrases of Black characters. 135 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,441 It's "But I'm too young to be Santa." 136 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:41,984 That's right. Thank you. 137 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,947 But I'm too young to be Santa! 138 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,244 -He's drunk. -Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! 139 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,662 Okay. 140 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:57,333 Dude, you gotta pull it together. Hey, no more drinking, okay? 141 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,295 Be normal, and stop telling people why you were banned from Cameo. 142 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,463 Never. 143 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,132 Ho-ho-ho! 144 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,051 Happy Hanukkah to a child. 145 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,053 What can I do for you? 146 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,222 How are you? Is this your wife? 147 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,808 -I'm messing. I'm busting your balls, kid. -Okay. 148 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,269 You look like my favorite actress, Angela Racks. 149 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:19,647 Whoa, buddy. Santa just complimented your mom. 150 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,482 -Pretty cool. -Yeah, he did. 151 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:25,445 Angela Racks was a porn star in the '70s. She invented the modern-day gangbang. 152 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,823 She was a true pioneer. You forgot your DVD. Ah! 153 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,032 -Okay, no. -Damn it! 154 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,577 He meant "corn" star. She did commercials 155 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,912 -for the Iowa Department of Agriculture. -Goodbye. 156 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,207 Who doesn't call shucking corn with your friends a gangbang? 157 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,334 Me, Santa doesn't. 158 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,296 We reduced the signed DVDs to 20 bucks. 159 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,755 You can't leave empty-handed. 160 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,591 That's not the Lil' Stevie I remember. 161 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,176 That man wouldn't race around the globe 162 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,761 to find the cure for Rudolph's testicular cancer. 163 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:55,057 I meant pornography, I don't know what he's talking about. 164 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,936 -Take it. -Ouch. 165 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,354 It's room temperature. 166 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,065 Oh, wow. Congrats, kid. 167 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,735 You're about to witness the launch of my Hollywood career. 168 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,820 "The Emerging Filmmakers Fellow--" 169 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,824 I didn't get in. 170 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,868 I can't believe I didn't get in. 171 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,288 That was mine. 172 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,333 Hey, how many refunds have you processed? 173 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:25,087 Do you want to know the exact number? Because it might give you a heart attack. 174 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,841 Where'd everybody go? 175 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,010 Everybody left because of you. 176 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,514 Event's canceled. Please, get the hell out of here. 177 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:38,559 Well, I would, but I'm pretty drunk. It's not a moral thing. 178 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,979 It's just, my car has a little tube you gotta blow into-- 179 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:42,939 Stop talking! 180 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,899 Stop talking. 181 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:51,364 Uh, hey, you can all still buy food and rent videos if you want. 182 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,449 No sense coming all this way and-- 183 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:58,079 What the hell is going on? 184 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,047 -Wow. -Great. The solar storm. 185 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:11,425 Told you there would be one. No one ever believes Hannah. 186 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,635 I need a drink. 187 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:19,267 The solar storm caused Internet and cell service to crash indefinitely. 188 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,352 Tensions mount as incidents of looting 189 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,813 have been reported all across Menominee County... 190 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,273 We're the Jingle Bills. 191 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,441 Okay. 192 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,652 Hannah said we could wait in here. 193 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,696 Oh, for Aaron's proposal, right. 194 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,366 Because nothing says "romance" like a band of lonely stepdads. 195 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,827 Stepdad? I wish. 196 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:41,038 Are you going to film it? Hannah says you're the next Nancy Meyers. 197 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:44,667 That is not a compliment and I'm not a filmmaker, apparently. 198 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,461 Maybe Hannah should film it herself. 199 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,171 Here's my camera. 200 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,592 Tell her to read the instructions. It's easy. She got into community college. 201 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,718 That's amazing. 202 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,554 Everyone gets into community college. Everyone. 203 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,851 The Wi-Fi went out right as I crossed a river in Oregon Trail-- 204 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,104 Bup-bup-bup! Let me introduce you to the currency of our new world. 205 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,982 -I didn't stock up. -Of course you didn't. 206 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:11,152 -That'll be $5 a roll. -Kayla will you call Patrice for me? 207 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:14,697 Call her yourself, or better yet, walk next door and talk to her. 208 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:18,117 Oh, no. I don't want to seem pushy. You know how relationships are. 209 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,745 One false move, this is Sylvia all over again. 210 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,288 I can't lose Patrice. 211 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,415 Can I use your landline? Cells aren't working. 212 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,709 Can you look up my mom's number? I don't know it. 213 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,669 Oh, my God. All of you shut up. 214 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,380 -What did I do? -Will you call Patrice? 215 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,841 -What's a Patrice? -Have you seen Timmy? 216 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,719 He's probably taking a victory lap, like at the Daytona 500. 217 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,805 When a car crashes and burns, it takes a victory lap in flames. 218 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,973 This is serious. 219 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,518 When Timmy gets down on himself, he really needs someone, usually me, 220 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,396 to bring his spirits up or he starts spiraling-- 221 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,065 I've got toilet paper to sell. 222 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,487 Timmy fails again. Who am I kidding? I suck at business. 223 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,364 Don't be so hard on yourself. 224 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,368 -And drinking apparently. -Aw. 225 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,330 You know, when I was a kid, 226 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,749 my mom never put out a ton of Christmas decorations, 227 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:11,379 but we did have this one reindeer, and every year she would put it out 228 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,006 and every year neighborhood kids stole it. 229 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,008 I'd always convince her to buy a new one, 230 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,636 but eventually she just stopped putting anything out. 231 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,013 Well, those kids sound like assholes. 232 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,933 They were. But at what point do you just give up? 233 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:27,937 I kept the last Blockbuster open after corporate folded. 234 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,189 This store is my reindeer. 235 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,441 Maybe it is. 236 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:36,237 But what I like most about you is that you're the type of person 237 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,864 who will never stop buying another reindeer. 238 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,574 Mm. You mean an idiot? 239 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,493 No, an optimist. 240 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,621 Watch it, nobody calls my boyfriend an idiot. 241 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,290 Oh, great. The girl that I like has a boy-- 242 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,629 -Are you talking about me? -Yes, you are my boyfriend. 243 00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:01,303 Hey. Do you remember when you were little and had colic, we would stay up 244 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,223 and watch Celebrity Grappling until you fell asleep? 245 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,016 Do I remember being an infant? 246 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,144 So, no. 247 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:11,105 Anyway, Lil' Stevie was on it. 248 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,149 I didn't recognize him with the Santa beard, 249 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,736 but he tried to poke Cheech Marin in the eye with a stick. 250 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,195 How cool is that? 251 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,573 The guy from our show. 252 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,782 It's not our show. 253 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,742 You're just as lame 254 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,453 as the other dorks that came for Lil' Stevie. 255 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,871 What's up with you? 256 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:29,790 I thought we were kind of, sort of getting along again. 257 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,834 Yeah, well. Swing and a miss. 258 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,254 The legend. 259 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,465 The manhole cover himself. 260 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,178 This proposal is going to be so good. 261 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,637 Sure is. 262 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,182 Wait, so you're all actually named Bill? 263 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,727 Yeah, we have to be named Bill to join. It's tradition. 264 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:53,522 -My name used to be Tracy. -I did it. 265 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,274 Hmm. 266 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,197 I think I just designed my first shot. 267 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:08,954 Thank God I found you. 268 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:09,872 Oh, hey. 269 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,958 Hey, I know today's been kind of a lot, 270 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,337 and I figured you probably needed somebody to-- 271 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,380 Two tequila and Sprites. 272 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,132 Oh, Lena. 273 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,592 -Hey. -Hey! 274 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,094 Great. 275 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:28,098 I was worried that you were here drinking yourself to death alone. 276 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,937 I fully expected to have to pick you up off the floor. 277 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:37,900 But I guess this is a whole new Timmy, 278 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,193 and that's... 279 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,277 that's great. 280 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,323 Eliza, your hair looks fantastic. 281 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,076 Thank you. Yours is hair too. 282 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,084 Yeah! Move forward! 283 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,048 What the hell is going on? 284 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,886 Hey, Blockbuster carries kids videos, right? 285 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:06,846 I'm desperate. 286 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556 Yeah, of course, games too. 287 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,724 Oh, my God! Streaming services are down. 288 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,270 The solar storm knocked out the Internet, without it, people are gonna need-- 289 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,312 DVDs. 290 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:19,024 Blockbuster's the only game in town. You're sitting on a goldmine, Timmy. 291 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,067 Lena, you're right. 292 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,527 I was just saying that. 293 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,988 What if we triple the prices of sequels? 294 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,782 These nerds will pay anything to see if Iron Man dies. 295 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659 Whoa. Success really changes you. 296 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,245 I told you buying another reindeer was a good idea. 297 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,454 I'm a reindeer man. 298 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,499 I don't get the joke. 299 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,626 Yay! 300 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,673 You're gonna want the sequel to that. 301 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:46,886 Not sure you're old enough to rent that. It's rated F for fantastic. 302 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,554 Oh, Shaq is great in that. 303 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,225 Timmy, you are cleaning up. 304 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,645 I just saw someone rent a Jimmy Fallon movie. On purpose. 305 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,939 I knew one day people would abandon streaming 306 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,067 and return to the superior format of DVD. 307 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,447 Sure, it was by force, but I'll take it. 308 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:10,242 Didn't think people were still doing public tongue action. 309 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,328 Yep. It's pretty gross. 310 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:16,123 Oh, Eliza, I need your help in the break room to-- 311 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,959 -Great. Happy to get away from this. -Oh, good. 312 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,211 I forgot to invent a reason why. 313 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,172 We're only accepting cash. 314 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,300 -Credit cards will be rejected. -Here you go. 315 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,384 Rejected. 316 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:34,224 Like how Patrice rejected me. Le sigh. That's what she always said. 317 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,644 Can you pull yourself together? We have customers. 318 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,228 I mean, I don't care. 319 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,732 -Patrice. -You know what, Connie? 320 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,983 If you were so mad at me, 321 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,736 you could've just told me instead of never calling me back. 322 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,155 And to think I planned this huge surprise for us. 323 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,617 What? But I was the last one to call you. 324 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,743 Were you? 325 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:53,744 Was I? 326 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,706 I thought you died, or worse, hated me. 327 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,543 That sounds crazy, but I value our friendship that much. 328 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,544 Me too. 329 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,968 Wait. What surprise did you plan? 330 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,552 Mon amie... 331 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,722 I'm taking you to Paris... 332 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,975 Hotel in Las Vegas. 333 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,477 Please tell me they have a buffet. 334 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,062 They have deux. 335 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,609 I know we have The Jungle Cruise. 336 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,237 There's copies in the back. Give me a sec. 337 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,030 Anything with The Rock in it. 338 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:34,243 Something for the kids, and for Mommy when she's in the tub later. 339 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,705 You might want to skip the Paul Giamatti scenes, tub wise. 340 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:38,706 Or I might not. 341 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,710 Here we are. Bills, go. 342 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,772 Oh, my God. 343 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,901 Goose... I know I've made mistakes. 344 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,905 But I love you more than anything on this Earth, 345 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,657 and I want to prove it to you. 346 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,616 So... 347 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,327 Um... 348 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,622 What do you say we put our past behind us for good? 349 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:25,669 Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and remarry me? 350 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,717 No. 351 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:34,803 I'm sorry? 352 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,808 Should we still do "I'll Make Love To You"? 353 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,734 What? No, Jungle Cruise? 354 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,444 Oh, no. We're out. 355 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,447 Um, I'll see you later. 356 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,533 Looking forward to our date, boyfriend. 357 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:57,993 Me too, Eliza. 358 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:03,624 Um, not Eliza. I meant Lena. Lena. 359 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,543 Yeah, Lena. 360 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,838 I think I'm getting the full picture here. 361 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,841 -Just-- Wait, I-- -Maybe we should cancel tonight. 362 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,718 No, come on. Lena. 363 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,428 This seems like a bad time, 364 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:20,599 I know, but I'm looking for a movie about a pig, but not Babe. 365 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,434 It's too big a city. 366 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,645 -I... -Okay. 367 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,613 Dude, you can't smoke in here. What are you doing? 368 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,907 Come on. Be cool, man. 369 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,409 Whatever, do what you want. I don't care. 370 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:44,039 Oh, man, was it a mistake for me to come here. 371 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:48,168 I'm a joke. People just came here to make fun of me. 372 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,588 They're all, "Let's all laugh at the sad guy with rosacea 373 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:55,509 who once got escorted off the Nash Bridges set by cop extras." 374 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,927 I know what you mean. 375 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,138 I mean, not specifically that but... 376 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,766 I just found out I didn't get into this film program 377 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,060 which had been my lifelong dream. 378 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,062 Didn't even consider I could get rejected. 379 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,150 You want to know something, kid? Hollywood is filled with rejection. 380 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,111 Even Speven Stielberg got rejected from USC. 381 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,864 You think I got But I'm Too Young to be Santa 382 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,240 on the first try? 383 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,827 No. Their first choice died in a grape juice commercial. 384 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,539 Hollywood crushes dreams. Okay? 385 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,499 Welcome to the club, kid. 386 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,543 You're a Hollywood filmmaker now. 387 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,254 Huh. 388 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,715 -Thanks, man. -You're welcome. 389 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,508 Okay, good night. 390 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,386 Hannah, can we get some water? 391 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:41,597 It's really a no? 392 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,059 Can the Jingle Ballers not be here for this? 393 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,186 Jingle Bills. 394 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,480 You still owe us the other half. 395 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,441 Can we settle this later, Bill? 396 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:59,573 I gotta be honest, I did not see this coming. 397 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,992 I thought I've been doing everything right. 398 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:02,910 You have been. 399 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:08,457 But doing a bunch of little things right 400 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,376 doesn't cancel out the big thing you did wrong. 401 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,462 That's what this is about. 402 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,047 No. 403 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,801 Not entirely, I don't think. 404 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,222 It's not like we didn't have problems before you cheated, 405 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,891 that was probably why you cheated. 406 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,310 I don't know how to respond to that. 407 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,396 This, us... 408 00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,984 it just doesn't feel right anymore. 409 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,862 It was one thing when we were giving it a go for Ali, 410 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,448 but she's an adult now with her own life. 411 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:45,827 And we owe it to her and to ourselves to... 412 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,038 try to be happy. 413 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:51,458 But what if being with you makes me happy? 414 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,502 I have feelings for someone else. 415 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,254 What? 416 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,214 Since when? 417 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,465 I don't know. 418 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,970 Maybe a few weeks, maybe... 419 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,264 Timmy? 420 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:10,102 I'm sorry. 421 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,021 I have to go. 422 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,194 -What are you doing? -Give me that. 423 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,781 Get your hands off my Snow Buddies. We have a long drive home. 424 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,993 That is the only thing keeping my kids from chewing through their seat belts. 425 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:30,289 Hey, there's plenty other movies that kids love, like... Unfaithful. 426 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,873 Diane Lane is electric in this. 427 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,543 I need Snow Buddies for my kids. They're "snow" cool. 428 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,169 Hey, we need to talk. 429 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,754 -Now's not the best time. -I know. 430 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,299 But what you saw back there made me realize something, 431 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,467 and it's really important I say it out loud. 432 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,719 Hey, man. 433 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:47,055 You probably get this a whole lot but I'm a big fan. 434 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,474 Celebrity Grappling got me through some tough times. 435 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:50,892 Would you mind signing this? 436 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:54,104 And what was it like to scissor kick Emmanuel Lewis? 437 00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:57,441 Hilarious. That's not a chapter of my life I'm proud of. 438 00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:01,570 I only did it because I was low on cash and me and Emmanuel have beef. Excuse me. 439 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,405 -Thank you. Okay. -Hey. Hey. 440 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,324 -Excuse me, man. -Whoa, whoa, whoa! 441 00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:09,494 -I will give you $100 for this DVD. -I'll give you the contents of my purse. 442 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,955 Could be nothing of value or several things of value. 443 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,040 Storage Wars style. 444 00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:15,000 -Yeah, no thank you. -Come on. 445 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,169 Don't be like that. You can't be embarrassed. 446 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:20,672 You are the man who grappled the hell out of Tonya Harding. 447 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:22,174 And she deserved that. 448 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:25,010 I get it. This is a roast. You're roasting me. 449 00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:27,387 Timmy. We've known each other so long, 450 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:30,974 and I want to end the pattern-- I'm tired of having doubts. 451 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,393 -No need for violence. -Let me have it! 452 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,854 I don't want to talk about Celebrity Grappling, okay? 453 00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:39,524 If you want to talk about one of my films in the Lil' Stevie Cinematic Universe, 454 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:40,692 I would love that. 455 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:45,197 Hey, I'm not one of those inbred dogs from earlier, I'm a real fan. 456 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,032 You are making fun of me! 457 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,161 -Whoa, whoa, whoa! 458 00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:52,371 What's happening? 459 00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,045 Hey, come on, no. Guys. 460 00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:02,464 Not Buscemi. 461 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:04,049 Stop, please. 462 00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,470 Where's Thimble? 463 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:09,805 Come on, please stop. 464 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,974 Hey, that's my whole week you got in your hands, man. 465 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:14,893 Not cool, bro. 466 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,647 I can't die a virgin. 467 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,232 Who are all these people? 468 00:23:20,315 --> 00:23:22,484 I'm Tad from Ohio. I'm a Scorpio. 469 00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:30,867 To hell with Blockbuster! 470 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:37,582 So, on the bright side, you got pretty riled up 471 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,876 when Lil' Stevie sucker punched me, 472 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,672 almost as if you kind of cared about your old dad. 473 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,258 -Of course I do. 474 00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,677 Why did you get so pissed earlier? 475 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,845 Out of nowhere. 476 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,305 When I thought things were good for us. 477 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:55,642 Because I care about this stupid place for some reason, 478 00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:58,937 and I was mad when Stevie was ruining everything and... 479 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:00,730 I took it out on you 480 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:03,525 'cause they say you take things out on those closest to you. 481 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,153 And I guess that's you or whatever. 482 00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,362 Or whatever. 483 00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,284 You know something? 484 00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:16,705 That right there was the best part of my year. 485 00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:41,938 It's gonna be okay. We can clean up. Get everyone to pitch in and we'll keep-- 486 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:43,190 What's the point? 487 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:48,820 I put everything I had into this cursed monkey paw of a store 488 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,448 because it's the only place that's ever felt like home. 489 00:24:51,531 --> 00:24:54,201 The only place I ever felt like I belonged, 490 00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,953 and it's not either of those things anymore. 491 00:24:57,037 --> 00:25:00,790 There's a reason over 9,000 Blockbusters have closed. 492 00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,752 I was an idiot to think this would be different. 493 00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:07,422 I'm done. 494 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,216 Done caring about anything. 495 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,218 I'm not buying another reindeer. 496 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,850 I still don't know what that means. 497 00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:24,856 Timmy? 498 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,650 I'm sorry. 499 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,235 Oh, my God.