1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:02,794
[Beta] Chaos bots have been
sent from the future
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,963
to stop the one person
who can save the world.
3
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,298
Me?
4
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,925
[chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
5
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,301
[Hailey]
♪ Hailey's on it! ♪
6
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,970
♪ Teach a cat
to play the piano ♪
7
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,097
♪ Roller-skate
all the way to Orlando ♪
8
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,682
♪ Use my ear wax? ♪
9
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,975
♪ To make a candle ♪
10
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,228
[chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
[Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪
11
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,813
♪ Win first place
for world's cutest pet rock ♪
12
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,023
♪ Do a corn maze ♪
13
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,149
♪ Hope I don't get lost ♪
14
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,275
♪ Eat an onion ♪
15
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,652
♪ Kiss my friend Scott? ♪
16
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,362
Huh? [screams]
17
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,905
- [object clatters]
- [donkey brays]
18
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,282
[chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
[Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪
19
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,038
- [bird squawking]
- [Hailey] Whoa.
20
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,915
What a fascinating fossil.
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00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,875
If only our ancestors
were alive
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00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,418
to tell us what it is.
23
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,340
[dial tone]
24
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,093
Why did you take me
to this technology graveyard?
25
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,427
There are no list items here.
26
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,179
I could be home getting yoked.
27
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,015
Isn't it amazing that
people used to have
all these separate gadgets,
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but now,
everything fits inside
29
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your teeny-weeny
little body, Beta?
30
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:05,524
Please don't ever use
the words "teeny-weeny"
to describe my muscle-ocity.
31
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,318
So you kids
gonna buy anything
or just touch all my stuff?
32
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,697
Just touch all your stuff.
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[man growling]
34
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,449
Okay, fine. Twist my arm.
35
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,451
You guys want
the good stuff, don't ya?
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Here they are.
37
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Products so reckless,
so dangerous,
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they were banned in 15 states
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and most of Paraguay.
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The Sun Telescope,
magnifies both the sun
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and your chances
of going blind.
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- Cool!
- Awful.
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00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,224
Triple-concentrated
maple syrup,
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too sweet
for human taste buds.
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- Cool!
- Awful.
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00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,646
And the most
dangerous of all...
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00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,774
Honey Doo hair gel?
48
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:48,775
Take my money!
49
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,945
[man chuckles]
50
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,572
Hailey, remember
when I used this?
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00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,158
Do I remember
those five-and-a-half days
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where your hair bounced
with every step
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and you looked like
a magazine cover
come to life? [sighs]
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00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,583
No. No, I do not.
55
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,418
But I remember
why it was banned.
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00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,754
Play "Honey Doo
hair gel PSA."
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00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:13,383
[man] And now,
a special message from
the Hair Safety Commission.
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00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,136
Meet Melvin,
a typical teen who enjoys
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00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,930
typical teen activities,
like skipping rocks
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and flag folding.
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Psst. Hey, try this
Honey Doo hair gel.
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It'll make you look great!
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And your first two is free.
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No way, man,
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I'm Honey Doo-free.
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00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,359
I don't need that stuff.
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- Pff. More for me.
- [basketball crashes]
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Hair like this,
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I'm gonna live forever--
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00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,241
- [growls]
- [teen screams]
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00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,829
Hi, I'm world famous celebrity
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
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00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,166
You might know me
as a hilarious comedy singer
and songwriter.
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00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,876
But do you know
what's no laughing matter?
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Bear attacks!
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Thanks to
Honey Doo hair gel.
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Studies show Honey Doo
increases your chances
of spontaneous bear attacks
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by 900%!
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Don't let this happen to you.
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Just say don't to Honey Doo!
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[both] Honey Doo?
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00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,353
[all] More like
Honey Doo not!
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00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,856
See, you really shouldn't--
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00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,024
What are you doing?
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00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,359
Just seeing
if it still works.
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00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,903
[dreamy music playing]
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It still works.
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00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,865
[cassette tape springs]
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[man] Oh!
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00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,536
[woman] Aah!
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00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,246
Hailey, why are you drooling?
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00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,540
Scott, why are you-- Hunky?
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00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,583
It's the hair.
Thanks to Honey Doo.
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00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,377
Just be careful.
You heard "Weird Al."
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Bears are no joke.
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Except for the cute little
squishy one I have. Like you.
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Don't be
such a melvin, Hailey.
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00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,344
I can stop using Honey Doo
any time I want.
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00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,847
I probably won't even
wear it to school tomorrow.
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00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,723
[school bell ringing]
100
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,350
[♪ funky electronic
music playing]
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[girl gasps]
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00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,150
[gasps]
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00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,986
My eyes are
down here, Joanne.
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00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:56,945
Hey, can I borrow a pencil?
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00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,323
[♪ funky electronic
music continues]
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00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,161
Scott Denoga? Love the hair.
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00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,620
So nice to see someone
108
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,247
put in a little effort
around here.
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00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,916
Here's a homework pass
for making me smile.
110
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,042
Thanks, Miss Jackson.
111
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,419
And I'll give this right back
112
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because I didn't do
last night's homework.
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Everyone is ogling you.
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You included.
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It's been like this all day.
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[gasps] Scott, play it cool.
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Tommy D is walking this way.
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He's getting closer.
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He's right in front of--
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- 'Sup, Scott?
- He's talking to you!
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Love the 'do, my bro.
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So nice to see someone
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00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,398
with naturally
exceptional hair. Like me.
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- Yep. Totally natural.
- [Hailey] Hmm.
125
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,444
Sick and tight!
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00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,653
- Both?
- Wow.
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00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,405
Broseph, lunch with me today?
128
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I'll make us
a res at The Rotunda
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Here's the deets.
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The Rotunda!
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I knew it was real.
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00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,289
One time, I saw
Lunch Lady O'Malley
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00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,499
being very suspicious.
134
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,669
I was late to lunch,
and O'Malley must have thought
all the kids were gone.
135
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I saw her
put lobsters on a tray
136
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,089
and then put them
into one of those
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hole-in-the-wall
lift-y thingies.
138
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,884
Uh... What are they called?
139
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:01,802
A dumbwaiter.
140
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,679
[exclaims] These are certainly
not for The Rotunda.
141
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,431
[exclaims]
There is no Rotunda!
142
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,849
Stop saying Rotunda!
143
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,603
- [screaming] Rotunda!
- [door slams]
144
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,024
That's why I put "get in
to The Rotunda" on my list.
145
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,652
Go ahead, Beta.
The next most
optimal list item is...
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00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,861
Number 43.
147
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,822
[Beta reading]
148
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,740
What? What does
that even mean?
149
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,951
Oh, yeah, remember when
we watched that movie
150
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,495
about aliens
who turned kids
into candy bars,
151
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,205
and you said you wanted
that to happen to you?
152
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,289
Oh, right.
153
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,459
Hey, I didn't know
this list would help
save the world someday.
154
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,127
I like weird wishes.
155
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,922
Sometimes I wish
I was a stick of butter,
so I could melt myself.
156
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,215
[laughs]
157
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,092
You two deserve each other.
158
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,052
[school bell ringing]
159
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,303
It's 1:00 p.m.
160
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,722
This is where
Tommy D's note said
to meet him.
161
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[muffled music thumping]
162
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[both] Secret entrance!
163
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,984
Welcome to The Rotunda.
164
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Follow me.
165
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,365
Yeah, that's
a no from us, lady bro.
166
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,741
But Hailey's my best friend.
167
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,119
We wanted to go
in The Rotunda together.
168
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,080
I legit respect
your confidence,
girl power, et cetera,
169
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,126
but I unfort cannot
respect your split ends. Ugh.
170
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Ah, sorry, Hails, I guess
I'll just hang back here.
171
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,633
No, no, you should go.
172
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,678
Cool! I mean, no sense
in both of us missing out,
173
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,847
and maybe I can figure out
a way to get you in later,
174
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:32,058
like maybe they have
a sponsor-a-kid program
for kids without great hair.
175
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,894
I'll let you know.
'Kay, bye.
176
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,106
So that happened.
177
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,734
But, hey,
there's a candy factory
three miles away.
178
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,944
Maybe we can cover
those split ends with nougat.
179
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,070
[groans]
180
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,615
All right, so over here
is the scalp massage chair,
181
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,492
and that's our photo booth
for windblown selfies,
182
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:54,539
a charcuticature artist
can design your likeness
out of meat and cheeses,
183
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,958
and our pianist
can play any request.
184
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,710
- [piano music playing]
- Legit. Anything.
185
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,296
Welcome to...
The League of Naturally...
186
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,589
- [hair whips]
- ...Extraordinary Hair.
187
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,008
Can people see in here?
188
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,927
Oh, don't worry, brochacho.
189
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:08,887
That's one-way glass.
190
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,556
The hair uggos out there
cannot see us.
191
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,100
Hey, nice cowlick.
192
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,811
[laughs] Lame.
193
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,314
It's completely
soundproof, too.
194
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,191
I hate listening
to normal hair.
195
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,817
- Sick!
- [Tommy] And tight.
196
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,695
- [cell phone vibrates]
- Hey, Hails.
197
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,614
Scott, what's going on?
198
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,740
Did you find a way
to get me in?
199
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,659
Uh, no, it's gonna be tough
200
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,078
because your hair
really has to be amazing
to get in here.
201
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,872
Hurtful, but for the sake
of efficiency, go on.
202
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,208
Hails, it's even cooler
than we imagined.
203
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,835
That big mirror in the hallway
is actually one-way glass,
204
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,921
so no one with bad hair
can see us in here,
205
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,881
and it's completely
soundproof.
206
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,425
Like if I screamed right now,
you wouldn't hear me.
207
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,968
[screaming]
208
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,595
I can hear you
through the phone.
209
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,972
Oh, right. Good point.
210
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:56,351
Oh, brochalada!
No, we don't allow
phones in here.
211
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,186
Big no-no, bro-bro.
212
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,312
You don't wanna
get kicked out
213
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,941
before Respectful Ryung
from Seoul M8s performs,
do you?
214
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,610
[Hailey] Did she say
Respectful Ryung?
From Seoul M8s?
215
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,986
- Gotta go.
Catch up with you later.
- [beeps]
216
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,613
[hair whips]
217
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,699
Man, I love this club.
218
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,784
We've got naturally sick hair,
219
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,328
and we're gonna live forever!
220
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,830
[♪ dramatic music playing]
221
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,958
[brakes screech]
222
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,960
[sniffing]
223
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:23,962
[grunts]
224
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,630
[sniffing]
225
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,799
[woman over speakers]
You are worthy.
226
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,759
- I am worthy.
- [man screaming in terror]
227
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,387
[woman over speakers]
You are good at your job.
228
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,180
I am good at my job.
229
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,975
- [bear growls]
- [all screaming]
230
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,393
Hey, Lucy.
231
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,812
I can't get into
The Rotunda.
Hi, Murray.
232
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,189
- Now, Scott's acting weird.
- [bear growls]
233
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,274
Hey, bear.
234
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,692
Wait! Bear?
235
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,277
- [screams]
- [on PA] Students,
please remain calm.
236
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,155
There is a bear on campus,
but everything will be okay.
237
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,823
[sniffs]
238
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,991
[on PA]
I can't believe I just
lied to those students.
239
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,409
We're all
gonna be bear food!
240
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,704
It's... Is this still on?
Students! Save yourselves!
241
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,830
- [recording] Bear alert!
- [alarm ringing]
242
00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,956
- Bear alert!
- [slurps]
243
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,125
[gasps] He's here
for the Honey Doo!
244
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,794
♪ ...give me spark
Making my heart go ♪
245
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,505
♪ Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom ♪
246
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:11,176
♪ Can't imagine a future
not together... ♪
247
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,927
[screaming continues]
248
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,846
They need to know
there's a bear on the loose,
but how to get in?
249
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:18,016
He's after me
delicious liverloaf!
250
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,225
I got it.
251
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,854
[grunts] This counts
as my arm workout for today.
252
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,732
♪ Got your eyes on me
Got my eyes on you ♪
253
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,902
[continues singing]
254
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,236
[grunting]
255
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,322
- [groans]
- [Beta screams]
256
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,740
- [clanks]
- Hailey?
257
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,576
Hey, everyone with
ugh, incredible hair.
258
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,912
Someone attracted
a bear to campus!
259
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,163
You all gotta get out of here!
260
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,166
Look, no offense,
but this seems
like a whack lie
261
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,376
from a hair-tastrophe
who's desperate
262
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,711
- to be with the--
- [girl] Bear!
263
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,548
Take my body!
Not my hair!
264
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,217
It's okay.
We're safe in here.
265
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,052
- That glass is unbreakable.
- [thwack]
266
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:55,887
[cracks]
267
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,722
- Did we
keep the receipt?
- [thwack]
268
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,724
Scott, he's after
the Honey Doo!
269
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,601
[sighs]
270
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,728
Everyone,
this is all my fault.
271
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:07,023
The truth is,
my hair is not
naturally incredible.
272
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:10,068
I used a hair enhancer
called Honey Doo
that attracted this bear.
273
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,611
- [gasps]
- [gasps]
274
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,779
[slurps]
275
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,739
You lied about
your natural hair?
276
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,699
Brodeo, I thought
we were bros.
277
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,826
We just met.
278
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,619
Can you two
bro this out later?
279
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,204
Scott, wash that gel out!
280
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,372
- How?
- [glass shatters]
281
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,456
Bear alert! Bear alert!
282
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,457
[roars]
283
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,960
- [all screaming]
- [alarm continues]
284
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,170
[gasps]
285
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,091
[fire alarm ringing]
286
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,134
Aah--
287
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,094
It's working!
288
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,349
Honey Doo again?
289
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:45,728
Every week
I gotta stop this bear
from coming down here.
290
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,313
Let's go, Roscoe.
291
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,648
[Roscoe panting]
292
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:52,026
Wait. Why would
Roscoe keep coming
293
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,404
if I was the only one
who-- [gasps]!
294
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,156
[all crying]
295
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,743
[panting]
296
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,704
Wait, you all use Honey Doo?
297
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:06,958
[sobbing]
I don't deserve
to be here, bro!
298
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,918
Do you even go to school here?
299
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,838
I just came
for the free lobster.
300
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,132
I'm sorry, Hails.
301
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:17,135
I shouldn't have put
my awesome hair
before our friendship.
302
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,094
That's okay.
303
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,805
But next time,
how about you,
Honey Doo "not"?
304
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,974
Yes, I know
how cringe that was.
305
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,058
[laughs]
306
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,310
[grunts]
307
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,854
Beta! Guess who just
took care of the bear
308
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,355
and got into The Rotunda?
309
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,108
It looks like I was right
and you were wrong
310
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,319
about the whole
human candy bar-- [yells]
311
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,987
[splashes]
312
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,327
Well, it looks like
we were both right.
313
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,244
[Hailey grunts]