1 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,546 Yes, of course. Everything’s great, Beccy. 2 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,132 -So, are you coming home? -No, I’m not coming home. 3 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,718 -Why not? What’s so great about-- -Because mom’s crazy, and you’re 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,303 crazy to stay there, Beccy! -What do you mean? You’re the crazy 5 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:16,139 one. On your own in that place. -You want coffee? 6 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,725 -Yes, just milk please. Thank you so much. -Hello? Hello? 7 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:22,311 -Is that the guy? -Yeah, he’s getting me coffee. 8 00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:23,563 -Is he okay? -What? 9 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,400 -The guy? -Yeah. He’s--he’s fine. 10 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,111 -So tell me...is he the one? -What do you mean, the one? 11 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:35,033 -Your one true man. -Beccy, I don’t know if he’s the one. I mean he took me out for a meal last night. 12 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:39,328 Hello? Hello? Beccy?! 13 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,247 Ugh! 14 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:45,418 -Howdy. -Hey, Charlie. That’s nice. 15 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,588 -I’ll be goddamned. Yeah, no, we got this guy comes in every week, 16 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:52,425 rents himself a slick ride, special rate, picks up a new girl every time. 17 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:57,680 Looks like this time he left her in there. Mornin’, darlin’. Sorry to rouse ya, 18 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,808 but we’re gonna need to get in there and clean up. 19 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:04,812 -Who’s he--what’s he talking about? -The guy you came with...he’s gone. 20 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,607 -No. He’s getting me a coffee. -It’s not a coffee shop. 21 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,817 It’s Charlie’s Garage. Rents classic cars. 22 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:24,248 Shit. Shit! SHIT! UGH! He said he was--he took me out last night. 23 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,835 -Do you have his number? -No. He was gonna give me that. 24 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:31,255 -Better call a ride. -I don’t have a phone. It’s dead. 25 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:34,759 I don’t have a credit card, either, okay? In fact, I don’t have any money at all. 26 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,595 -Oh, I get it. -No you don’t, asshole. 27 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,348 Just cause you’re wearing a suit and a clown tie doesn’t make you any better 28 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:45,812 than that lying, stinking, shithole bastard from last night. Urrgghaaagh! 29 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,704 So can I take you to wherever you’re going? 30 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:06,666 -Do I have a choice, Mr. Suit? -Sure you do. Life’s all about 31 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:11,587 having choices. I’m Jake. -Virginia... 32 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:16,926 Actually, the suit’s borrowed. And that’s the truck. 33 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:21,722 I got a rental because I had a job interview today. What do you do, Virginia? 34 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:25,143 -Right now, nothing. -So you came to the Big Easy? 35 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,646 There’s nothing easy about New Orleans without a job. Screw the Big Easy. 36 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,108 -Yeah, just don’t let it screw you. -Oh my god, you are so clever. 37 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,319 Except you drive a shit heap and he had a Mustang. 38 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,072 Except he didn’t...Let’s go. 39 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:48,958 -Oh my god, there’s no door. -Air conditioning. 40 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:56,174 -We need to give my girl a second. -Your truck’s a girl? 41 00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,219 Sure she is. The thing is I actually have this project you might be interested in. 42 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,139 -In what? -I want to write a blog about it, build 43 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,558 out a line of products, start my own streaming channel. 44 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,435 -Of what? -I have to do a lot of serious 45 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,312 research first. -On what?! 46 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,690 Well, sex... 47 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:16,986 You know what? I think I’m gonna actually just walk. Thanks. 48 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,779 -Let me call you a ride! -Nuh uh. 49 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:32,418 Shit. Aaagh, I don’t believe this! 50 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,564 Listen, come back to the house. I’m not trying anything. Honest. 51 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,816 So I’m that easy, huh? Nuh! 52 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,945 You’ll be safe there. There’s lots of girls. They’ve all got shoes. 53 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:03,366 And if you don’t mind me saying... you seem like you could use some friends. 54 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:07,912 -Listen you’ve got no reason to trust me-- -I didn’t. I trusted your truck. 55 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,497 Well, the truck may need some help. 56 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,959 Okay, when I shout “contact”, just touch 57 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,586 these two wires together, okay? That’s all you gotta do. 58 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:19,715 -Are you joking? -No. 59 00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,592 Ignition... 60 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,095 Contact! 61 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,772 Okay, let’s go! 62 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:52,456 THIS is your house and THAT is your truck? 63 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:56,963 Don’t be rude about my baby. I just live here. Come on in. 64 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,079 -Hi, Jake. -Wow, that is hot. 65 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,374 -I love you with clothes on. -I know. It’s weird, right? 66 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,210 -This is Virginia. -Hi, I’m Samantha. -Hi. 67 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:41,839 -Hey, do you have size 7 shoes? -No, try Cindy. 68 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:45,384 Hey, Nigel’s fixing me up later. Come join. 69 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,515 Hey, help yourself. There’s coffee in there. 70 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,276 -Oh my god! -Hoo, what is it? You okay? 71 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:05,279 -Yes, but you’re-- -I made coffee. You want some coffee? 72 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:10,076 -Yes, but maybe-- -I love people that say yes! 73 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,120 -But I’m actually with him. Jake? -The world is divided up by the people 74 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:17,875 that say no and stay safe, and they never get hurt. Now, for the people that do say 75 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:23,339 yes, now maybe--maybe they get hurt, alright? But they’re living life to the 76 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:28,928 fullest and they’ve tried everything. Hey, did you want some milk? 77 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,934 Um, yes please. 78 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:44,068 Coffee for my new friend. 79 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,824 Oohhoohoohoooo! She’s kinky... 80 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,164 Hey, come sit. 81 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:02,880 Hi, I’m Cindy. Are you the one who needs shoes? 82 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:14,432 Somebody left this great pair of boots after a party. 83 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:20,938 -Ah, here we go. Try these on. -I can’t wear these. 84 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:25,526 Suit yourself. Mind your feet, though. Dead soldiers. 85 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:29,447 Oh, agh, oh my god. That is so disgusting! 86 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:34,326 Yeah, but better to be safe, right? Bathroom’s in there. 87 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,540 I gotta get back to work. See ya. 88 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:45,465 Waaah, no! Okay... 89 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,764 Oh, no... 90 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,768 Jake? 91 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:11,655 AH! 92 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:15,618 AH! Stop. Stop it. Ugh. 93 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:21,126 Uuuh. Aaauuugh... 94 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:30,175 Oh, hey. It’s you again! 95 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:34,681 Damn, that’s a cute girl. 96 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,939 -I’m so sorry. I’m Nigel. How do you do? -At least you’re wearing clothes. 97 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:48,151 -Do you know where Jake is? -No, sorry. Great boots. 98 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,987 Do you want a boot website? Is that your thing? 99 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,115 -There’s a website for boots? -There’s a website for everything. 100 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:58,703 Within the hour online I can have anything anybody wants at that front door. 101 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,332 -You mean you get girls? -Sure, who do you want? 102 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:06,836 -No! Is this a whorehouse? -Sex work is fine, but we don’t let anyone 103 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:09,256 charge in the house. -No, I don’t charge. 104 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,759 -Look, I’m just looking for--oh my god! -Hey, I’m Leslie. 105 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,929 -I hope you’re looking for me. -Uh, no. Jake. 106 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,142 -Shame. He’s upstairs. Come on. 107 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:29,442 Wait. So do you guys, like, never wear clothes? 108 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:34,906 When we go outside. Oh, except during Mardi Gras. Then we wear paint. 109 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,952 And except NIgel. He never takes his shorts off. Do you, Nigel? 110 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,872 No. 111 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,837 He’s in there. Enjoy. 112 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:52,215 No, if I do this on my own, my blog won’t be taken seriously. I need 113 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:58,763 a partner. Anyway, thank you for the tie. -So, who’s the girl? Is she the one? 114 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:04,519 -I gotta find somebody. -I adore you, you sexy hunk. 115 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,898 Yeah. you, too. 116 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:14,070 -That’s a dead end. -I wasn’t spying. The door was open. 117 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,574 We don’t have secrets. Listen, I’ve got a serious proposition for you. 118 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,243 I’ll bet. Can I get a straight answer? Are you? 119 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,120 -What? -Straight? 120 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,580 -No. -Gay? 121 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:24,956 -No. -Bi? 122 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,124 -No. -Celibate? 123 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,376 -No. -What else is there? 124 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:33,590 Omnisexual. I’ll do anything. I usually draw the line at inanimate objects. 125 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:36,009 -Usually? -One time I had an affair with a washing 126 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:41,556 machine with a vibrant spin cycle. I chose heavy wash and I sat right on top. 127 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:45,479 It gave me all I wanted in a relationship. 128 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:51,441 It’s a joke, okay? Listen, please. Can we just talk? 129 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,321 Virginia, wait! 130 00:10:56,365 --> 00:11:01,117 Virginia, please. This is serious research. I really need your help. 131 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,662 Give me 30 seconds, please, and I promise I’ll drive you home. 132 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:09,167 -30 seconds. -Okay, great. Um--it’s about my channel-- 133 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:14,923 my streaming channel and books and toys and I want to start with a blog about 134 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:19,260 the experiences of a sex-positive couple. There’s a revolution happening right now. 135 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,262 All the rules of sexual combat have changed. 136 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,389 Sexual combat? 137 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:27,727 The internet has made everything available. I had Nigel make up these. 138 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:31,731 It’s a list of every sexual practice and deviation. 139 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,818 We could try everything. Unless it’s completely disgusting, and then 140 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,779 we just watch. -WE, as in me? 141 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:42,242 Fetish is mainstream. Kink is cool. That’s my market. The new sexuality. 142 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:47,539 -Only I can’t get started. I need a girl. -Well, there’s plenty of them here. 143 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:51,334 -Nope, no. They all turned me down. -That’s a good sign. 144 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,295 I need someone hot enough to get me through any door. 145 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:59,551 Into any party. Someone like you. You could live here. I’d help with expenses. 146 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,553 Oh, so you’d pay me to screw you at parties? 147 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:05,640 No no no no. You don’t have to screw me ever. I promise. No strings. 148 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:10,937 You get me through the door, I keep you safe, we meet interesting people-- 149 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:15,275 -And we screw them? -If we like! Listen, the group is going 150 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:21,322 to a sex club tomorrow and they’ve all got dates. I can’t get in without a girl. 151 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:25,120 Forget it. I’ll walk. 152 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,414 You’re gonna let her walk the streets like that? 153 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:34,421 -I guess. I tried to help. -I guess? Knuckledick. 154 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:46,473 Fuck you! Oh... 155 00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:52,645 Yeah, we could try that. I’m Truly. I thought you could use a ride. I tried 156 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,565 those once and those boots ain’t made for walkin’. 157 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,737 Thanks, Trudy, but I think I’ll be fine. 158 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:04,908 It’s Tru-ly! 159 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:09,454 -With an L. Truly Happygirl. -That’s your name? 160 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,248 Yeah! I wanted to be a truly happy girl, so I changed it. 161 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,668 “Be the change you want to be.” Ghandi. 162 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:21,216 -Truly, are you on drugs? -Never! “Say no to drugs and yes to sex.” 163 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:23,468 Nancy Reagan. Come on, let’s take you home. 164 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:27,138 Wait, the last time I got in this truck, that Jake guy tried it on, so if you’re 165 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:31,309 anything like that-- -Oh, no. That’s Leslie. I like cock. 166 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:36,314 I do girls, too--in fact, I’ll do anybody. Well, a guy’s gotta be a 2 out of 10. 167 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,400 -On what scale? -1 out of 10 being dead. 168 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,403 I have a friend who works at the mortuary, but I won’t go there. 169 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,908 -What’s 2 out of 10? -Breathing. 170 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,245 So you have no standards and no discrimination? 171 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:56,125 What’s the point? I fuck anybody. Some become friends, some don’t, but fucking 172 00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:00,380 is how I find out. I’m a fuck-firster. It just gets it out of the way. 173 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:04,801 -Isn’t that dangerous? -I love condoms. And we get tested 174 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:09,138 once a month. House rules. So, if you come back with us, you must follow them, too. 175 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,975 Truly, I don’t think I can-- 176 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:16,855 -Oh, no. Come on, baby. It’s just us girls here. Come on! You can do it. 177 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:20,233 You’re a fucking mechanic! 178 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:33,288 You know, this happened to all of us at the house. Small town girl moves to the 179 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:38,543 big city, gets screwed in every possible way. Listen, I can tell you’re on the 180 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,422 struggle bus here. -Oh, no. Don’t you feel sorry for me. All 181 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:46,342 I need is a bed, and I’ve got one. 182 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,598 So it was an air bed? That’s not good. 183 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:56,853 You sure don’t take help easy, do you? Why don’t you come stay at the house until you 184 00:14:56,855 --> 00:15:02,650 get yourself sorted out. No strings, okay? -That’s exactly what Jake said. 185 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:07,780 - He’s right. - Ah! 186 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:13,995 We girls, we run that house. We make the rules. And number one is nobody does 187 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:17,167 nothing with anybody they don’t want to do nothing with. Or something. 188 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,337 Dammit! 189 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:25,840 I need to get prepared for tonight, and someone broke the fucking fucking machine. 190 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:30,845 -So why not just use a man? -I need something reliable. 191 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:34,349 There is that... 192 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:38,645 -Virginia? You’re back! That’s so great. 193 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:45,234 -Virginia, does this mean that you can-- -No. I was evicted. Can I stay a few days? 194 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,403 Come on, girl. We gotta get ready for the party. 195 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,574 Party? What party? 196 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:55,286 Condoms... 197 00:15:55,288 --> 00:16:07,256 Condoooms...luuube...anybody need a condom? Lube? Condoms, lube. I am your 198 00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:23,606 fairy condom mother. Condoms. Lube, anybody? Condom? Okay! Ladies... 199 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:28,653 -Thaaank you. Here you go. -Ugh, I love my life... 200 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:35,868 So, everybody needs a wing woman. I got your six, so you can have your sex. 201 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:41,207 Okay...so, you guys do nothing but sex all the time? 202 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:45,003 Well, I’m a Dreamer, and I’m getting my law degree. So if that’s nothing, then I’m 203 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:49,924 sure doing a helkuva lot of it. Anyways, Samantha here works a lot, too. What is it 204 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,636 that you do again? -A PhD at Tulane on the philosophy of 205 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,305 hedonism and the psychosexual culture of Generation X. 206 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,350 -Woah. -And you thought I was a dumb blonde. 207 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:03,730 No...oh my god, yep. I did think you were a dumb blonde. I’m so sorry. 208 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:10,862 Of course. You know what this is? Conditioning, baby. And we’ve all had it 209 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:15,742 because the men run the media, right? Hey, boys. 210 00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:23,541 Oooh-wooo! This is gooood! 211 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:27,295 -Oh, would you look at that? Bill, -Mmmmm... 212 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:33,760 -I need more of your wife. She is hot. -Oooh...oh, no no no, that’s not my wife. 213 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:38,222 That’s her over there between those two other guys. You want in? I can ask. 214 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,560 -Yeah.... -Alright. 215 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,526 Hey! 216 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,029 Heh, that Joanna loves DP. 217 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,781 Wooh! Yeah, come on. 218 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,282 -So he’s in her-- -Uh huh. 219 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,659 -While the other one’s in her-- -Oh, yeah... 220 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:02,789 -I’ve never had it in the ass. -It’s kinda the same, but 221 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,291 the dick is next door. 222 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:10,213 Room for one more. Get over here, Bill. 223 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:17,845 So Bill is number three, and Joanna’s ready for the play and Joanna is airtight! 224 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,643 She looks a little busy. I guess it’s gonna be a while before I get in there. 225 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:26,729 -Well, maybe if you’re free, we could-- -Juanita, you want to? 226 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,399 -Heh...no, Jake! 227 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,068 -What’s wrong with fucking me? -Nothing, I just did that already. 228 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:36,572 -Got a point. Fresh meat’s always best. -Fresh meat? Is that all we are? 229 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:47,125 -Ha! No, honey. That’s what the men are. -I told you. We girls run these parties. 230 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,960 -Hi. -Fuck? 231 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:52,215 -Sure. -Why all the conversation? 232 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,058 Oh my god... 233 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:09,230 -Good morning! -Do you have a swimsuit? -What is a swimsuit? 234 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:12,567 -Virginia! They tell me you’re coming to stay with us. 235 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:19,282 Sign please. House rules, including number seven: no clothes allowed in the pool. Which is why I never get in the pool. 236 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,784 Is there anything I need to be worried about? 237 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,747 You’re fine. Read it later. 238 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:31,002 -Great, thank you. Here’s a towel. -Thanks. 239 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,267 Oh, what the fuck. 240 00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:02,950 Naked girl in the pool! Naked girl in the pool! Naked girl in the pool! 241 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:06,913 Wooooaaaah! 242 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,248 You assholes! 243 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:13,546 Welcome to the house, Virginia! 244 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:27,683 Hi, I’m Ray. We’ll have no interest in each other whatsoever. 245 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:31,938 -You’re gay? -I am so ashamed! 246 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,774 Yeah, totally. 247 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,567 Can I get a straight answer from a gay man? 248 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:40,071 -You’ll never get one from a straight man. -What the hell is this place? 249 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:44,700 The house? It’s for people who like to have sex and who don’t judge others. Cindy 250 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:51,207 started it, and she found us or we found her. The internet weaves its web. 251 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:56,963 -So, are you all ,like, couples? -Oh, god, no. That would be horrible. 252 00:20:56,965 --> 00:21:02,134 Unless Jake asked me. I mean he’s just-- ugh, he’s just so good. 253 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:05,179 -Is he? -Oh my gosh, yes. When he is up, he is, 254 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:08,683 like, really really up. And when he’s down he’s, like, straight back up again. What 255 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:12,186 more could you ask for? -So why don’t the girls go with him? 256 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:15,690 Going isn’t the problem. It’s the coming thing. 257 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,067 -The Jake conversation? -Yeah. 258 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:22,738 - Yeah, Jake doesn’t come. - You’re kidding? 259 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:27,201 No. Girls go with him, but they don’t stay with him, because he doesn’t come with 260 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:32,331 them. He sees the orgasm as, like, some kind of commitment. Don’t you, dear? 261 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,459 If I’m enjoying myself with someone, why would I want to ruin it by coming? 262 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:39,005 -Exactly... -Wait are you two-- 263 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:42,008 Do you want me to? Come to the club tonight, I’ll do anybody you want. 264 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:46,429 That’s my phone...Shit, Steve! 265 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,806 -G-spot location services? -Uh, yeah, can I speak to Jake? -Steve, no no no no no. 266 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,933 -I’m untying him right now, yes. -You’re doing what? 267 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,978 -Hi, this is Jake. I’m sorry about that. -Yeah, you asked about the job. 268 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,022 It’s not going to work I’m afraid. Thank you and goodbye. 269 00:21:56,024 --> 00:22:02,028 The interview, they didn’t want me. 270 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:08,784 -That sucks. Do you want a blowjob? -No, Cindy. I want a real job! 271 00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:13,791 Everybody, this is me drowning myself. 272 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:22,506 -Hey! You just broke rule seven. -I know it. 273 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:28,346 Look, I’m sorry to hear about your job. Listen, I’ll go with you to the club 274 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:31,265 tonight, but just to get you through the door. 275 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,268 You’ve given me a reason to live! 276 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:43,778 Okay, so if anyone hits on you, just say, “maybe later.” And smile, okay? Here. 277 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,780 Maybe later. 278 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:05,510 Oh, Jake! You found a girl! 279 00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:16,018 Hi. I’m glad to see you came prepared. I’m Rod. They call me Hot Rod. 280 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:22,525 -I believe it...um, maybe later. -No, I work here. 281 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:25,903 -Oh! -First timers get a tour. 282 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:31,909 So it’s the usual rules. You know, no means no. Gentleman, stay with the ladies. 283 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:35,748 -This is fun! -Nah...the fun is upstairs. 284 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:41,293 So we have playrooms on each side. This is the library. 285 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:44,215 Oh my god, I love libraries! 286 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,425 -Hey there! 287 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,468 Virginia! 288 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:55,641 -Wanna play? -Uh, maybe later. 289 00:23:57,061 --> 00:24:08,237 Moving on...Okay now, this is the feely room. Absolute darkness in there. 290 00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:12,741 You got to feel your way around. -So who’s in there? 291 00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:16,787 I mean, you never know. That’s the point. 292 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,956 And this is the machine room. 293 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:22,376 Ginny! You gotta try this one. Oh! 294 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:26,922 -Ah, maybe later. -Alright, now this room... 295 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,010 This is my absolute favorite. 296 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:41,312 Love this room. One-way glass, in there you can’t see who’s watching. 297 00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:49,695 Well, that’s it, I’m done at ten, then I join the party. I hope to see you? 298 00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:57,205 -Um...yeah. Maybe later. -Yeah. Right. 299 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,669 -Jake? Oh, I’m so sorry. -Hi! 300 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,796 Jake, don’t leave me alone! 301 00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:14,139 Jake? Jake? Jake? 302 00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:19,893 I can’t believe I’m seeing this. 303 00:25:19,895 --> 00:25:24,856 -Oh my god, you’re clothes...less. -Ginny, it’s a sex club. You’re the 304 00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:29,112 only one here with clothes on. Oh, look at that... 305 00:25:37,204 --> 00:25:43,917 Oh my god. Don’t you just love this? I mean how can anyone be depressed in here 306 00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:50,340 for more than like ten minutes? Umm, sometimes you just gotta get fucked. 307 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:54,761 -Anyway, so are you here with Jake? -Oh, no, er, but maybe later... 308 00:25:54,763 --> 00:25:59,683 That’s a good move. Sometimes you gotta work ‘em out before you work ‘em in. 309 00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:02,644 -I’m Joanna. -Oh, Virginia. 310 00:26:02,646 --> 00:26:05,272 Oh, don’t cover ‘em up. They’re cute. 311 00:26:05,274 --> 00:26:10,235 -And this is my sub, and my husband, Bill. -How do you do? 312 00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:11,361 -Hi. -So what are you into? 313 00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:16,366 -Uhh...nobody’s ever asked me that before. -I give the best head. Do you like head? 314 00:26:16,368 --> 00:26:19,327 -Do you? -I mean, yeah, sure. 315 00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:22,581 Oh, and you can leave your panties on. He just loves to munch. 316 00:26:22,583 --> 00:26:28,003 Oh, yes, please. Oh...oh! Uh, Jake, he’s--he’s... 317 00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:31,673 -You said yes twice, right? -Just say stop. Consent is the only 318 00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:37,304 sex that we have. He is good, isn’t he? -Oh my god...Yes. Yes... 319 00:26:37,306 --> 00:26:42,058 Uh, just to be clear, that’s yes stop, yes continue, or yes he’s good? 320 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:44,519 Um...yes... 321 00:26:44,521 --> 00:26:48,732 -Ooh, there’s a spot. You wanna fuck? -Sure. 322 00:26:48,734 --> 00:26:54,988 -Oh, and he’ll fuck you, if you want. -No. No no no nonono... 323 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:42,077 Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I just did that! 324 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:44,537 How many guys did you have? 325 00:27:44,539 --> 00:27:46,748 One. 326 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:49,292 Two. 327 00:27:49,294 --> 00:27:51,419 Euh, I mean, three. 328 00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:55,131 Uh, four. Oh my god, I just went to a party and I have to count how many 329 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:58,677 guys I fucked! Ahah... 330 00:27:58,679 --> 00:28:03,390 -Five. It was five. -I had three girls. Joanna was hot. 331 00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:06,935 -Then there was Melanie, and Sarah. -Wait, which one was Sarah? 332 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:11,064 -Skinny, big tits, tight ass. -Do not define a woman by her body! 333 00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:15,235 Tits and ass, is that all we are to you? Just sex? 334 00:28:15,237 --> 00:28:19,280 You just had just sex with just five guys you just met. 335 00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:21,533 Yeah, I’m trying to work this out. 336 00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:25,036 So wait, do you really not come? Wait, what is that about? 337 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:28,500 Oh, wires. Got it. Pop the hood. 338 00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:34,504 Sweet baby girl, sister, I have just had 339 00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:41,052 the most amazing night. Please don’t spoil it for me. Okay! IGNITION! CONTACT! 340 00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:45,557 WOOOH! Yeeeaaah! 341 00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:50,021 Wooh! 342 00:29:14,129 --> 00:29:16,004 -Good morning. -Oh, hey. 343 00:29:16,006 --> 00:29:19,382 -And, uh, how many guys did you have last night? 344 00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:25,889 Um, about as many as I had my whole life before last night. 345 00:29:25,891 --> 00:29:31,519 -Is it alright if I feel a little dirty? -It’s residual guilt. It’s good, because 346 00:29:31,521 --> 00:29:38,026 it makes it feel so bad. We should know, we’re Catholic. What about you? 347 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:43,323 Er, ex-evangelical. Very ex. That’s what I’m trying to get away from. 348 00:29:43,325 --> 00:29:48,620 So you two do stuff like this all the time and still, you know, love each other? 349 00:29:48,622 --> 00:29:54,584 Sure we do. Listen, Virginia, this is all okay as long as it’s what you want. 350 00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:58,215 As long as you do what you feel and feel what you do. 351 00:30:23,740 --> 00:30:28,743 There’s so many possibilities, I had no idea. Are all of these real things? 352 00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:31,913 -I guess. -So why haven’t you done them? 353 00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:35,208 -Well, I was waiting for the right-- -You know what, I want to try them. 354 00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:40,088 I decided. I want to do it. Your research thing. The sexy stuff. To hell with it, I 355 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:42,507 want to try every damned thing I can. Lets’s do ‘em all, A to Z! 356 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:46,970 -Are you serious? This is fantastic! -Yeah, I mean, as long as I can say no, 357 00:30:46,972 --> 00:30:50,431 and there’s no pressure. -Oh, absolutely. Totally. 358 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:56,354 Can we really do this, no shit, no lies, no jealousy, just friends? 359 00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:59,941 Yes we can. I swear I will never have sex with you. In front of you, yes. 360 00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:03,236 With you, never. -Oh, no...that’s not exactly-- 361 00:31:03,238 --> 00:31:07,073 -Nigel. Nigel! I need your help. Virginia’s going to do my project! 362 00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:09,450 All your deviations, we’re gonna do them from A to Z. 363 00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:12,453 Oh my god. This is so cool! Wait, can I pick something that I like, please? 364 00:31:12,455 --> 00:31:16,875 -Sure! -Umm, altocalciphilia?! 365 00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:35,184 Hey, perverts! Chin on the table, hand off your hose, and eyes on the shoes. 366 00:31:35,186 --> 00:31:40,148 Oh, oh thank you... 367 00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:44,944 -Altocalciphilia. -Boots, shoes? That was totally weird. 368 00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:52,452 -All sex is weird. Alright! Anal... -Oh, no. Why don’t we just 369 00:31:52,454 --> 00:31:55,538 do one of each letter? -Ah, and then we go back to the beginning. 370 00:31:55,540 --> 00:32:02,837 Great idea. Okay, Nigel, the “B”s. -Oh, yes... 371 00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:08,509 -So it’s PDFM, right? -No, no. B-D-S-M! Bondage, domination, 372 00:32:08,511 --> 00:32:11,220 sadism, masochism, got it? -Yeah. 373 00:32:11,222 --> 00:32:13,306 And don't let anyone know it’s your first time, okay? 374 00:32:13,308 --> 00:32:16,517 -Okay. Okay, okay! -Just be cool. Be cool. 375 00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:21,189 -Oh, hello! I’m Hugo. Please, come in. -Good evening. 376 00:32:31,534 --> 00:32:37,455 -Oh my god, doesn't that hurt? -Yes of course. That's the point. 377 00:32:37,457 --> 00:32:40,833 -Are you sure you’re into this? -What exactly do y’all do? 378 00:32:40,835 --> 00:32:44,921 -Uh, PDFM. -No! No no no. Uh, BDSM. BDSM. 379 00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:52,011 -Yes, but we specialize in PDFM. -And what is PDFM? 380 00:32:52,013 --> 00:32:59,769 It is um, penile...dysfunction... forensic...um, massage. 381 00:32:59,771 --> 00:33:03,106 -PDFM. -Forensic? 382 00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:08,861 -Yeah so it’s like mostly dead people. -Dead people? You're necrophiliacs? 383 00:33:08,863 --> 00:33:12,740 No. No no no. They’re pretending to be dead. Hence, er, disfunction. 384 00:33:12,742 --> 00:33:16,411 -But you have BDSM experience? -Yes of course. 385 00:33:16,413 --> 00:33:22,709 Do you want to play? Gender switch, power exchange, SSC or RACK? 386 00:33:22,711 --> 00:33:27,338 -Er, I think, probably, just sex. -Sex? 387 00:33:27,340 --> 00:33:32,427 -You want sex? -Oh honey, we don't do sex! 388 00:33:32,429 --> 00:33:35,596 My god, what kind of people do you think we are? 389 00:33:35,598 --> 00:33:39,017 I mean, I’m a married woman. We are Baptists. 390 00:33:39,019 --> 00:33:43,354 -You’re disgusting! They want sex! -Get out, just get out of here! 391 00:33:43,356 --> 00:33:45,773 Go, go on! Get! How dare you! 392 00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:50,069 -They kicked you out? -Yes, they hated us. 393 00:33:50,071 --> 00:33:53,865 -Nigel, we got to “C”. -There are not many “C”s... 394 00:33:53,867 --> 00:34:00,121 Capnolagnia, chremastistophilia, coprophilia, coprophagia. 395 00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:04,000 -And what the hell are they? -In order, sexual gratification from 396 00:34:04,002 --> 00:34:10,214 smoking, from being robbed, from shit, and from eating...shit. 397 00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:13,051 -Eeewww... -Let’s do “D”. Double penetration. 398 00:34:13,053 --> 00:34:16,512 Pussy and ass together. -No, that brings us back to anal... 399 00:34:16,514 --> 00:34:19,515 -You said you would try everything. -Okay, we move to “E”. 400 00:34:19,517 --> 00:34:23,519 -But that’s cheating. -No, she said no, it’s not negotiable. 401 00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:26,441 Right on. Thank you, Jake. 402 00:34:33,948 --> 00:34:37,450 -Hey, we get on pretty good, don’t we? -Yeah, we’re doing just fine. 403 00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:41,662 -Are you sure about this, Virginia? -Yes I am, Jake. 404 00:34:41,664 --> 00:34:45,458 Three...two...one...GO! 405 00:35:09,901 --> 00:35:15,446 -“E” for “Exhibitionism”. What’s next? -Felching, fellatio, frottage, 406 00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:19,867 fisting, flagellation... -Wait, what’s fisting? 407 00:35:19,869 --> 00:35:24,831 Oh! Oowoh! Okay, okay. I thought you said that was a good pain? 408 00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:30,419 -Okay, now “G” for...“group sex”. -Yeeeaaah... 409 00:35:30,421 --> 00:35:35,550 No! That, I want to see that. “Gay sex”. Just guys, though. 410 00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:41,806 Oh, I have just the right guy. Daddy Hank. Older guy, he does girls, but he is 411 00:35:41,808 --> 00:35:45,935 desperate to get into my pants. You’ve already had him. 412 00:35:45,937 --> 00:35:50,148 -Me? I never had anyone called Hank. -You can remember who you’ve had sex with? 413 00:35:50,150 --> 00:35:52,984 That’s incredible. -You can’t. 414 00:35:52,986 --> 00:35:56,571 I can’t even remember faces, how would I remember dicks? 415 00:35:56,573 --> 00:36:00,533 So why don’t we do both? Group sex and gay sex. 416 00:36:00,535 --> 00:36:03,870 Aaah! Sounds like a party! 417 00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:20,887 -Hi, mind if we watch? -Oh! Hey, what are you doing down there? 418 00:36:20,889 --> 00:36:26,058 -This is who I told you about. -Oh, this is your girl, right? 419 00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:29,854 -Yes, and this really turns me on. -What about you? 420 00:36:29,856 --> 00:36:33,900 -Oh, I’m just another homosexual. -Well don’t expect anything from me, bud. 421 00:36:33,902 --> 00:36:44,994 -He’s here for me. Sloppy seconds. -Okay, I guess you better sit down. 422 00:36:44,996 --> 00:36:50,374 If the lady wants to watch it, you better do it. 423 00:36:50,376 --> 00:36:54,380 Dooohhh... 424 00:36:58,593 --> 00:37:02,678 Is that an average sized dick, would you say? 425 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:07,808 No, that’s a big dick. All black people have big dicks. 426 00:37:07,810 --> 00:37:10,978 I’m black, I don’t have a dick. That’s sexism. 427 00:37:10,980 --> 00:37:15,441 No, I just meant...you know how white people always-- 428 00:37:15,443 --> 00:37:20,404 What, so white dudes can’t have big dicks? That’s racism. 429 00:37:20,406 --> 00:37:22,740 Come on, don’t act like an old lady. I was-- 430 00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:29,038 What’s wrong with being an old lady? That’s ageism. Racism, ageism, sexism. 431 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,793 RAZ. You’re razy. You’re razy. -Totally razy, man. Just razy-- 432 00:37:33,795 --> 00:37:40,677 Here’s a word of advice. Keep your legs open and your mouth closed, okay? 433 00:37:54,357 --> 00:37:58,985 -Is he-- -Yeah, it usually happens with older guys 434 00:37:58,987 --> 00:38:06,033 after they come. I kinda like it. -Oh, momma...mmm... 435 00:38:09,622 --> 00:38:13,332 Oh! You know, I could only do this ‘cos you were watching, right? 436 00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:17,962 -Oh, I know. -It was like I was doing you all the time. 437 00:38:17,964 --> 00:38:21,257 -Mmhmm. -Thank you so much, Daddy. 438 00:38:21,259 --> 00:38:35,604 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Hey, she’s hot, huh? What a girl. Hey, baby, see you ‘round. 439 00:38:35,606 --> 00:38:39,191 -That’s the closet. -Yeah, I knew that. 440 00:38:39,193 --> 00:38:41,029 Oh, boy... 441 00:38:43,448 --> 00:38:48,200 -He is gross. -I think he’s gorgeous. And he’s only 442 00:38:48,202 --> 00:38:52,288 pretending to be Republican so people don’t think he’s gay. 443 00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:55,291 So, what did you think? 444 00:38:55,293 --> 00:39:03,174 -Honestly, I didn’t realize it would be so -Functional? It usually is with guys. 445 00:39:03,176 --> 00:39:07,511 -Men are so weird. -That’s not even a conversation. 446 00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:13,267 -I just--I wish I understood you guys. -My dear, you never will, until you 447 00:39:13,269 --> 00:39:18,105 learn the mysteries of the penis. 448 00:39:18,107 --> 00:39:22,693 It’s all so unnecessarily complicated. 449 00:39:22,695 --> 00:39:28,115 -What’s it all about? -How does it do what it does? 450 00:39:28,117 --> 00:39:34,622 -How can we possibly find this attractive? -This dangling throbbing thing. 451 00:39:34,624 --> 00:39:38,834 And it’s always changing. I mean the next minute, it’s this hard, pulsing, rigid 452 00:39:38,836 --> 00:39:44,382 thing. And they’re all so different. -Yeah, weight, length, thickness, shape, 453 00:39:44,384 --> 00:39:49,345 hardness, taste. Different shafts, different heads, mushroom, button, 454 00:39:49,347 --> 00:39:53,015 cut, uncut. -Why are we so fascinated in this stupid, 455 00:39:53,017 --> 00:39:56,602 wrinkly worm? -It may be stupid, but I wish I had 456 00:39:56,604 --> 00:39:59,146 a dick for a day. -You have a dick every day. 457 00:39:59,148 --> 00:40:02,108 No, but what does it feel like to have your own? 458 00:40:02,110 --> 00:40:05,528 But why do we care about them at all? I mean, look, it’s ridiculous. 459 00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,863 Don’t even get me started on the testicles. 460 00:40:07,865 --> 00:40:09,323 -Ooh! -Eugh... 461 00:40:09,325 --> 00:40:13,869 Oval, round, hanging, baggy, tight, soft hard. There's so much variety 462 00:40:13,871 --> 00:40:16,330 with the male genitalia. -Excuse me... 463 00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:19,417 -And you know what gets me is the texture. They just don’t feel like 464 00:40:19,419 --> 00:40:22,545 anything else on earth. -Wait, you don’t even like dick. 465 00:40:22,547 --> 00:40:26,340 I love dick. I just don’t like what it’s attached to. 466 00:40:26,342 --> 00:40:33,514 -Hello, I’m up here. I am--I am up here. -Can I ask you to do something? 467 00:40:33,516 --> 00:40:36,934 Oh, I didn’t think we were doing that yet, but I guess so. 468 00:40:36,936 --> 00:40:39,770 -Jump up and down. -Ooh yeah, I want to see that. 469 00:40:39,772 --> 00:40:43,234 -Come on... -Yeah. 470 00:40:51,951 --> 00:40:56,162 -Isn’t that painful? -No. 471 00:40:56,164 --> 00:40:59,625 -What about running, run for us! -Oh, yeah! 472 00:41:06,549 --> 00:41:10,426 -Oooh, doesn't it bang around? -Don't your tits bang around? 473 00:41:10,428 --> 00:41:14,388 I don't have tits between my legs getting mashed by a pair of thighs. 474 00:41:14,390 --> 00:41:20,769 Okay, stop. What happens to it all? I mean, in your pants. 475 00:41:20,771 --> 00:41:27,318 -Yeah, like, where does it all go? -That... 476 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,988 Is the mystery of the penis. -Oh, for heaven’s sake. 477 00:41:30,990 --> 00:41:33,574 Can we go party now? 478 00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:44,336 -Nigel, why don’t you join the party? -Oh no, I can’t. 479 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:47,130 -Why not? -I’m sure the girls have told you. 480 00:41:47,132 --> 00:41:50,926 I’m not very big down there. And I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. 481 00:41:50,928 --> 00:41:55,138 What? Nigel, if you think you can’t please a woman ‘cos of the size of your dick, 482 00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:59,309 then you don’t understand the vagina. -What don’t I understand about the vagina? 483 00:41:59,311 --> 00:42:04,064 Oh. Well, oftentimes a big dick just glides right past it, whereas a smaller 484 00:42:04,066 --> 00:42:06,733 dick, will hit it. -Hits what? 485 00:42:06,735 --> 00:42:08,610 -The spot? -What spot? 486 00:42:08,612 --> 00:42:13,698 -The...like-- -Virginia...I got it arranged! 487 00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:15,494 Maybe later. 488 00:42:27,297 --> 00:42:30,175 -Sorry, I was dealing with dick. -Heheh. 489 00:42:34,096 --> 00:42:36,348 Come on, let’s join. 490 00:42:38,517 --> 00:42:42,143 -Ooh, hey Virginia. You ready to play now? 491 00:42:42,145 --> 00:42:47,607 Hey, guys...Oh, is that why they call it down time? 492 00:42:47,609 --> 00:42:51,278 -Heeey, you look happy. -I am happy. Happy to be here. We all are. 493 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,865 -Are you staying with us for good? -Oh, I can’t. I would not be able to 494 00:42:55,867 --> 00:42:59,369 afford the rent. -Rent? We don’t pay rent. 495 00:42:59,371 --> 00:43:05,961 -Well, then who pays for all this? -Cindy does. She’s loaded. Come see. 496 00:43:10,173 --> 00:43:17,889 Guys, come on. This pussy isn't going to lick itself. 497 00:43:23,812 --> 00:43:29,107 -Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee. -Who? 498 00:43:29,109 --> 00:43:33,987 He created the world wide web. He connected hypertext with TCP and DNS. 499 00:43:33,989 --> 00:43:38,700 For the first time in history, ordinary people can get any kind of sex they want. 500 00:43:38,702 --> 00:43:42,871 A girl like me couldn't exist before the internet. My whole life is online. 501 00:43:42,873 --> 00:43:46,499 -I’m sure you have other interests. -Er, no, you don’t get it. Her life 502 00:43:46,501 --> 00:43:51,129 is online. They see everything. -Who do? 503 00:43:51,131 --> 00:43:58,136 The Guys. There’s a hundred of them. Nigel set it up for me. I do whatever I want and 504 00:43:58,138 --> 00:44:05,018 the Guys watch every second of it. -You mean they--they can see us now? 505 00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:10,607 -You didn’t read the house rules? -Say hello to Virginia, Guys! 506 00:44:10,609 --> 00:44:12,776 I don’t believe this! Who are these people? 507 00:44:12,778 --> 00:44:19,491 They’re creeps. You’re all creeps, Guys! Alright, I’m going back to the party. 508 00:44:19,493 --> 00:44:24,331 Because around this time the boys get seedy and the girls get needy. 509 00:44:33,632 --> 00:44:41,221 Wait, the Guys get nervous if I’m off cam for too long. So do I. 510 00:44:41,223 --> 00:44:45,517 Cindy, there has to be something else to your life. Maybe a boyfriend? 511 00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:50,480 Oh no. The Guys would get jealous if I did that. So I just screw everybody. 512 00:44:50,482 --> 00:44:58,822 But...I do have a gorgeous secret friend. One of the Guys sends me poetry. 513 00:44:58,824 --> 00:45:03,827 The others don’t know. -So invite him over, in secret. 514 00:45:03,829 --> 00:45:09,082 -Give me his contacts, I’ll arrange it. -Oh you mean, like, actually meet him? 515 00:45:09,084 --> 00:45:17,006 Like a...a real guy? Oh Virginia, I...I... you would do that for me? 516 00:45:17,008 --> 00:45:21,261 -Yeah. -Oh that is so exciting. Oh, thank you 517 00:45:21,263 --> 00:45:26,808 thank you thank you. Just don’t tell anyone, okay? Okay. 518 00:45:26,810 --> 00:45:33,440 -Cindy they really don’t like you off cam. -Oh, don’t worry. They’ll like this. 519 00:45:33,442 --> 00:45:38,905 Okay Guys, party time for Cindy! 520 00:45:50,125 --> 00:45:55,587 Hey, isn’t life great? I cannot imagine that whole monogamy thing. 521 00:45:55,589 --> 00:46:00,925 Only fucking one guy. How dull is that? 522 00:46:00,927 --> 00:46:04,304 So are you guys going to do this for the rest of your lives? 523 00:46:04,306 --> 00:46:06,806 -Yes... -No. I’ll have a normal life, you know... 524 00:46:06,808 --> 00:46:11,060 Wife and kids and stuff. -Normal. That’s nice. 525 00:46:11,062 --> 00:46:14,647 -And I'll just do this on the side. -You mean, you'll cheat? 526 00:46:14,649 --> 00:46:19,027 Well, you have to cheat. I mean, that’s what a “normal” life is, right? 527 00:46:19,029 --> 00:46:23,865 I’m in shock, I need to get fucked. Come on, Steve. 528 00:46:31,875 --> 00:46:34,501 Oh! 529 00:46:34,503 --> 00:46:38,296 Oh, it’s you again. You were at the club, right? 530 00:46:38,298 --> 00:46:43,343 I came looking, but you were real busy that night. I'm Rod, remember? 531 00:46:43,345 --> 00:46:49,057 -Oh, yeah. Hot Rod. -And you met my friend Chris. 532 00:46:49,059 --> 00:46:58,066 -Hey. Huh? Oh my god, I’m so sorry! -That’s fine. We were wondering if 533 00:46:58,068 --> 00:47:01,820 you would like to join us? -Why? Wait, what, what, what do you want? 534 00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:09,244 I mean, sorry that’s wrong. Um, it's just the penis, I was not expecting the penis. 535 00:47:09,246 --> 00:47:14,749 -You’ve never had two guys? -Is it that obvious? I mean, I’ve just 536 00:47:14,751 --> 00:47:21,047 never had it, you know, in the other end. -Well we can try that whenever you want. 537 00:47:21,049 --> 00:47:24,634 And take it real slow. 538 00:47:24,636 --> 00:47:30,390 Now we don't want to bug you, but any time. 539 00:47:46,116 --> 00:47:48,533 NOW! 540 00:47:48,535 --> 00:47:53,999 Or...maybe later. 541 00:48:11,141 --> 00:48:14,517 You go, girl! 542 00:48:14,519 --> 00:48:19,731 -Having a wild time? -Oh, yeah... 543 00:48:19,733 --> 00:48:21,610 -Nice and easy, huh? 544 00:48:26,615 --> 00:48:32,869 Oh...my...goodness! That feels amazing! 545 00:48:32,871 --> 00:48:37,916 So? What do you think? I’m not such a weirdo, huh? 546 00:48:37,918 --> 00:48:39,834 -Are you Ray? -I am. 547 00:48:39,836 --> 00:48:42,962 -You’re the financial analyst? -No that's my sister, Lorraine. 548 00:48:42,964 --> 00:48:46,466 Oh I know Lorraine, I work in product development at Hensons. 549 00:48:46,468 --> 00:48:49,677 No way, I used to do market research for them. Are you Chuck? 550 00:48:49,679 --> 00:48:51,846 -No, I’m Chris. -Chuck’s the sales guy. 551 00:48:51,848 --> 00:48:57,685 -Oh my god, guys! Please! -Oh right, sorry. 552 00:48:57,687 --> 00:49:06,529 -Ooooh...ooohhh -Even I think that’s hot. 553 00:49:08,990 --> 00:49:14,494 -Jake? -Oh, yeah, sure. 554 00:49:14,496 --> 00:49:16,122 Oh, shit. 555 00:49:23,463 --> 00:49:28,843 -Come on, he’s waiting. -Oh! I’m so excited! 556 00:49:30,845 --> 00:49:36,975 There he is, Mister Poetry. Go... 557 00:49:36,977 --> 00:49:43,064 -Hi... -Hi. I never met one of the Guys before. 558 00:49:43,066 --> 00:49:49,195 I love you completely and utterly in a way that is unrestrained by any social norm. 559 00:49:49,197 --> 00:49:56,327 Oh. Would you like to go up to my room? 560 00:49:56,329 --> 00:50:00,748 Er, can we begin in the traditional way, first? 561 00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:06,504 Oh, yes. That would be beautiful... 562 00:51:11,446 --> 00:51:15,366 That was great...bye! 563 00:51:30,590 --> 00:51:36,677 He was so beautiful. 564 00:51:36,679 --> 00:51:40,723 -You were in two separate rooms? -Aagh! 565 00:51:40,725 --> 00:51:44,602 -Wait a minute. Is he...? -I guess that’s all he wanted. 566 00:51:44,604 --> 00:51:50,066 That technique has its advantages. Especially for him. He’s disgusting. 567 00:51:50,068 --> 00:51:56,948 -Shut up! I thought he was the one! -Don’t worry, sweetheart. I bet the 568 00:51:56,950 --> 00:52:05,832 Guys really enjoyed watching. Right, Guys? -Nope. Turned them off. 569 00:52:05,834 --> 00:52:10,253 -I am not surprised. -No, I mean I’ve turned them off. 570 00:52:10,255 --> 00:52:20,972 -You--you turned off the Guys? -Oh, they're going nuts. Look at the 571 00:52:20,974 --> 00:52:25,103 messages, they are so mad. 572 00:52:26,062 --> 00:52:28,896 -I’m going out. -Wait. 573 00:52:28,898 --> 00:52:30,690 Cindy, you never go out. 574 00:52:30,692 --> 00:52:36,904 I’m going to go to a bar. And I’m going to meet a guy. And we’re going to fall in 575 00:52:36,906 --> 00:52:41,367 love. Oh, it’s going to be just like in the old movies. 576 00:52:41,369 --> 00:52:45,204 -I can’t believe you would do this. -What? She deserves to find 577 00:52:45,206 --> 00:52:49,458 -a man she loves. Screw the Guys! -They’re the only guys we don’t screw. 578 00:52:49,460 --> 00:52:53,004 Who do you think pays for this house? This is a disaster, our entire way 579 00:52:53,006 --> 00:52:57,175 of life is threatened. -Wait, the Guys pay for all this? 580 00:52:57,177 --> 00:53:00,595 But they’re such creeps. -But these creeps have money and we 581 00:53:00,597 --> 00:53:04,473 never even have to meet them. That’s the best kind of guy you can get. 582 00:53:04,475 --> 00:53:09,687 -I’m ready. Let’s go. 583 00:53:09,689 --> 00:53:15,943 Cindy, we’ve progressed further than finding guys in bars. That's why they 584 00:53:15,945 --> 00:53:17,528 invented the internet. 585 00:53:17,530 --> 00:53:22,700 Love is a dangerous thing, okay. It can lead to all types of consequences. 586 00:53:22,702 --> 00:53:28,289 -Such as? -Expenses, emotion, pregnancy, 587 00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:34,086 arguments, diseases, legal fees... -He’s right. We men, we're vulnerable. 588 00:53:34,088 --> 00:53:35,588 True dat. 589 00:53:35,590 --> 00:53:39,133 Come on girls, let’s leave these pricks behind. 590 00:53:43,181 --> 00:53:48,684 You know what I think? Women are from Venus, and men are from the Dollar Store. 591 00:53:52,357 --> 00:53:57,735 Can you believe those idiots? “We’re vulnerable”, wa-wa-wa. Euch. 592 00:53:57,737 --> 00:54:02,907 Well they’re right. We know who we are. Every month we’re reminded that we’re 593 00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:06,577 animals living on a planet that we’re absolutely connected to. Men don't know 594 00:54:06,579 --> 00:54:09,205 who they are, or what they're for. 595 00:54:09,207 --> 00:54:14,627 Men are okay. They lower their pants, you lower your expectations. 596 00:54:14,629 --> 00:54:19,257 I knew a guy who used to rate women. To fuck this one, he’d need a bag over her 597 00:54:19,259 --> 00:54:23,261 head. To fuck that one, he’d need a bag over her head, and three cans of beer. 598 00:54:23,263 --> 00:54:28,140 To fuck a real dog, he’d need a bag over her head, a six-pack, and a bag over his 599 00:54:28,142 --> 00:54:35,606 own head. Guys are so stupid, they confuse physical beauty with sexual attraction. 600 00:54:35,608 --> 00:54:42,697 But we all know the truth, right? Ugly guys are the best fucks. They have to be. 601 00:54:42,699 --> 00:54:48,494 I don’t care about ugly, I just want a man. But no man’s going to want me if I 602 00:54:48,496 --> 00:54:55,209 have a hundred Guys. Right? -If you found a man who’d be okay with... 603 00:54:55,211 --> 00:54:59,088 No, you’re right. Men are so insecure. 604 00:54:59,090 --> 00:55:03,217 I’ve totally screwed up everything, haven’t I? 605 00:55:03,219 --> 00:55:08,514 It was inevitable. Juanita, when do you graduate? 606 00:55:08,516 --> 00:55:13,394 -A month. -A month. After that, I don’t think I’m 607 00:55:13,396 --> 00:55:17,773 going to be able to afford the house. I’m sorry, everyone... 608 00:55:17,775 --> 00:55:25,031 -Hell no! It’s been a great run, Cindy. -It has been a great run, hasn’t it? 609 00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:30,911 You know what we should do tonight? We should put our males in bondage, and FORCE 610 00:55:30,913 --> 00:55:35,624 them to have sex with us. Just like they do on Planet Orgasmo. 611 00:55:35,626 --> 00:55:39,378 That’s so wrong! 612 00:55:49,307 --> 00:55:52,352 Welcome to Planet Orgasmo! 613 00:55:53,978 --> 00:55:58,022 -Harder. Harder! -Oh, Saint Jude! 614 00:55:58,024 --> 00:56:02,693 -Who is he? -Patron Saint of lost causes... 615 00:56:02,695 --> 00:56:09,285 Yeah, I guess so. Chris, you’re up. Clear space. 616 00:56:16,042 --> 00:56:20,254 My turn, you puny earthling! 617 00:56:22,715 --> 00:56:29,678 So all this is coming to an end, thanks to me... Are you okay? 618 00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:34,475 I had hoped to, but no chance now. 619 00:56:34,477 --> 00:56:41,857 What? You mean, you and Cindy? Oh my god, Nigel, does she know? 620 00:56:41,859 --> 00:56:45,736 No, I’d have to tell her, and then she might want to have sex with me, 621 00:56:45,738 --> 00:56:50,825 and that’s not going to happen, is it? -this is ridiculous. TRULY! JUANITA! 622 00:56:50,827 --> 00:56:57,456 Get off those guys! Uh uh uh! Stand here. Nigel, every sized cock is normal, from 623 00:56:57,458 --> 00:57:02,294 the smallest shrimp to the biggest... jumbo shrimp. 624 00:57:02,296 --> 00:57:06,340 -Coitus interruptus! -This better be worth it. 625 00:57:06,342 --> 00:57:11,762 -Nigel, I want to see your cock. -Thank you, no. 626 00:57:11,764 --> 00:57:16,142 I don’t wish to be treated as a sex object, only defined by my genitalia. 627 00:57:16,144 --> 00:57:18,436 -You what? -That’s how you treat men. 628 00:57:18,438 --> 00:57:21,230 That’s how you see them. I see you guys do it all the time. 629 00:57:21,232 --> 00:57:23,691 We do not! 630 00:57:23,693 --> 00:57:26,652 Okay, yeah, maybe we do... -Yeah, a little bit, you guys do. 631 00:57:26,654 --> 00:57:29,613 Well I’m not going to accept that kind of penis-centered abuse from your 632 00:57:29,615 --> 00:57:33,868 proto-feminist hier-- You know what, fuck it. Just fuck it. 633 00:57:33,870 --> 00:57:36,370 There, is that what you want? 634 00:57:36,372 --> 00:57:43,502 -Nigel that’s a perfectly reasonable cock. -I bet it can be unreasonable. 635 00:57:43,504 --> 00:57:47,756 -Nigel, who told you that was small? -The internet, the porn stars, they’ve 636 00:57:47,758 --> 00:57:49,008 got these big dicks-- 637 00:57:49,010 --> 00:57:53,137 The fucking internet. It makes us and it breaks us. 638 00:57:53,139 --> 00:57:57,224 -That’s a perfectly great cock! -So you think Cindy might like it? 639 00:57:57,226 --> 00:57:58,601 -Cindy? -Cindy? 640 00:57:58,603 --> 00:58:01,228 Yes, Nigel, I think she might. 641 00:58:01,230 --> 00:58:06,692 Okay, then...I think we have some business to attend. 642 00:58:06,694 --> 00:58:09,945 -So you really think...? -Yes. 643 00:58:09,947 --> 00:58:15,701 Hey guys...Oh! Oh...Well, Nigel, what’s next on the boards? 644 00:58:15,703 --> 00:58:21,041 Well Virginia just did “I” for internet sex. Complete disaster. Next up 645 00:58:21,043 --> 00:58:25,212 would be “J”, for jealousy. 646 00:58:25,214 --> 00:58:27,672 I refuse to do jealousy, let’s move on to “K”. 647 00:58:27,674 --> 00:58:30,258 -Are you sure-- -Yes! “K”! 648 00:58:30,260 --> 00:58:33,803 Klismaphilia. Erotic arousal by enemas? 649 00:58:33,805 --> 00:58:37,891 -Sounds kinda fun. -Fun? Jake, I‘m not sure I 650 00:58:37,893 --> 00:58:41,895 want to do this any more. -I thought you wanted to try everything. 651 00:58:41,897 --> 00:58:44,689 Yeah well maybe it’s too many choices for one girl. 652 00:58:44,691 --> 00:58:46,650 Life is about having choices. You can never have too many choices. 653 00:58:46,652 --> 00:58:49,861 -She’s just nervous. The next letter is “L” for lesbian. 654 00:58:49,863 --> 00:58:52,489 Oh. Right. I already took care of this. 655 00:58:52,491 --> 00:58:56,284 Hey, Leslie? 656 00:58:56,286 --> 00:59:01,623 -Leslie, penis at the door. Is it hard? -No, it's easy. They all are. 657 00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:04,960 No penises allowed in here. -No penises allowed in here. 658 00:59:04,962 --> 00:59:08,046 Yes I know, but it’s for Virginia. We talked about this, right? 659 00:59:08,048 --> 00:59:11,176 Oh, yeah. Bring her in. 660 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:18,265 -Oh, I’m sorry. Were you two-- -No, if it's not a cock, I don't know 661 00:59:18,267 --> 00:59:22,936 how to work it. Let’s go Jake. 662 00:59:22,938 --> 00:59:27,857 -Okay girl, if you’re sure you want to do this, then let’s get it on. 663 00:59:27,859 --> 00:59:32,279 Oh that’s such a cute cat. Is he yours? 664 00:59:32,281 --> 00:59:35,657 -It’s a she. Vagina. -What? 665 00:59:35,659 --> 00:59:39,703 That’s her name. If everyone insists on calling vaginas pussies, I thought 666 00:59:39,705 --> 00:59:41,832 we should be consistent. 667 00:59:44,585 --> 00:59:47,836 So... 668 00:59:47,838 --> 00:59:53,093 You want to stroke my little Vagina? 669 00:59:54,678 --> 00:59:58,221 -How was it? -She wants you. 670 00:59:58,223 --> 01:00:02,767 -What does she want me for? -Such a loser. Virginia wants you. 671 01:00:02,769 --> 01:00:05,854 No. No no no no she does not. We have a deal... 672 01:00:05,856 --> 01:00:08,108 Work it out, Jake. 673 01:00:12,237 --> 01:00:15,365 So...? 674 01:00:23,749 --> 01:00:27,792 -So what happened? -I’m--she’s not the one I’m interested in. 675 01:00:27,794 --> 01:00:30,337 Vagina? 676 01:00:30,339 --> 01:00:34,049 Oh, fuck! I must have let the cat out. Leslie’s going to be so mad at me. 677 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,182 -Hi... -Virginia live here? 678 01:00:42,184 --> 01:00:46,269 Yeah she’s here. But the whole lesbian thing isn’t going to work for her. 679 01:00:46,271 --> 01:00:48,605 Come on in. -What lesbian thing? 680 01:00:48,607 --> 01:00:54,363 Quiet... 681 01:01:06,500 --> 01:01:08,794 Hi, there! 682 01:01:12,464 --> 01:01:18,218 Vagina! Vagina? Where's my little girl? Come here Vagina? Come here... 683 01:01:18,220 --> 01:01:20,637 -Virginia? -No, Vagina... 684 01:01:20,639 --> 01:01:24,474 Ahh! Mom! Beccy! -What are you doing? 685 01:01:24,476 --> 01:01:29,312 -The pussy. It's called Vagina. -I know, I go to the gynecologist. 686 01:01:29,314 --> 01:01:33,525 And the correct word is vulva. Why is everybody naked? 687 01:01:33,527 --> 01:01:35,151 -Do you need a towel? -Oh, yes. 688 01:01:35,153 --> 01:01:38,990 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, no! Oh... 689 01:01:41,993 --> 01:01:43,284 Thanks a lot, Steve. 690 01:01:43,286 --> 01:01:46,746 So this is how you live? In a sex commune? 691 01:01:46,748 --> 01:01:48,248 So what’s wrong with having sex? 692 01:01:48,250 --> 01:01:52,796 Having sex is one thing. Having this much sex is outrageous! 693 01:01:54,172 --> 01:01:56,840 Bathroom. Right now. 694 01:01:56,842 --> 01:02:01,052 We just passed one, Momma. She’s here to see the urologist. For a procedure-- 695 01:02:01,054 --> 01:02:03,346 Beccy, why did you give her my address? This was our secret. 696 01:02:03,348 --> 01:02:07,517 Because you are living in a world of sin and depravity. The Reverend says the 697 01:02:07,519 --> 01:02:10,061 the end-times are coming, and if we-- -Beccy, TV evangelists are crazy. 698 01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:14,065 All they care about is cars, whores and face-lifts. 699 01:02:14,067 --> 01:02:17,527 I know right from wrong. And sex before marriage is wrong. 700 01:02:17,529 --> 01:02:20,029 How are you going to know the marriage is right if the sex isn’t? 701 01:02:20,031 --> 01:02:22,240 -What about love? -We’re talking about sex, 702 01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:24,284 what's love got to do with it? 703 01:02:24,286 --> 01:02:31,666 What’s looove...got to do with it, got to--oh...uh uh uh... 704 01:02:31,668 --> 01:02:35,920 Beccy, We’re going. Virginia, now you call me, if you have 705 01:02:35,922 --> 01:02:38,548 time between all your social engagements! 706 01:02:38,550 --> 01:02:44,763 Mmmm... Can’t. I’ll be way too busy with all my orgies and sex stuff. 707 01:02:52,647 --> 01:02:56,524 -You okay? -My mother caught me looking for Vagina, 708 01:02:56,526 --> 01:03:01,613 and now we all have to move out because I thought that love was more important... 709 01:03:01,615 --> 01:03:03,990 Sure, I’m fine. -Are we okay? 710 01:03:03,992 --> 01:03:06,951 -Ugh! -Leslie said you wanted me for something. 711 01:03:06,953 --> 01:03:11,372 Yeah, what do you think that could be? 712 01:03:11,374 --> 01:03:15,210 Virginia please, be reasonable. I just--I need to talk. 713 01:03:15,212 --> 01:03:19,255 -Oh, do you want to talk now? -Yeah... 714 01:03:19,257 --> 01:03:26,054 Okay. I just want to say... You know, you and me... 715 01:03:26,056 --> 01:03:30,850 I just want you to be happy. You know, like I am. 716 01:03:30,852 --> 01:03:35,647 You’re happy? Jake, all you are is a life support system for your dick. 717 01:03:35,649 --> 01:03:37,816 How are you happy? -Aren’t you? 718 01:03:37,818 --> 01:03:40,819 -No! -But you have everything 719 01:03:40,821 --> 01:03:44,364 you need right here. -But I don’t have you! 720 01:03:44,366 --> 01:03:47,575 Hey, we made an agreement... 721 01:03:47,577 --> 01:03:51,037 No, Jake, you made an agreement. You’ve been scared of me ever since the 722 01:03:51,039 --> 01:03:55,416 day I got to this house, and I don’t know why. But I’m not stupid, okay? I can see 723 01:03:55,418 --> 01:04:01,422 that I’m under your skin as much as you’re under mine. I think... 724 01:04:01,424 --> 01:04:04,926 I think I could love you. Could you ever feel the same? 725 01:04:09,266 --> 01:04:14,435 -Sure. -So say it. 726 01:04:14,437 --> 01:04:18,815 Come on, you know that... 727 01:04:18,817 --> 01:04:21,901 You know that I have a hard time saying what I feel. 728 01:04:21,903 --> 01:04:28,116 No. I think you have a hard time feeling what you feel... 729 01:04:28,118 --> 01:04:35,540 I made a mistake. I’m going to pack up my things and I’m going to get a job. 730 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:42,505 -What the fuck am I supposed to do? -if you ain’t knowing, I ain’t telling. 731 01:05:30,388 --> 01:05:32,597 - I’m literally at the door. - Have you tried knocking? 732 01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:34,599 - Yeah, somebody’s coming. - Is it her? 733 01:05:34,601 --> 01:05:38,061 I don’t know, I don’t see her. I’m waiting for someone to-- 734 01:05:38,063 --> 01:05:40,772 Hi. Again. 735 01:05:40,774 --> 01:05:42,398 Hi, is my sister here? 736 01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,068 No, she left about a week ago. Got a job in the Quarter. 737 01:05:45,070 --> 01:05:47,737 -She’s not here, Mom. -Oh, for heaven’s sake! 738 01:05:47,739 --> 01:05:49,822 Don’t shout at me... 739 01:05:49,824 --> 01:05:52,367 -She hung up. -You don’t have a smart phone? 740 01:05:52,369 --> 01:05:55,495 Mother won’t allow it. She’s afraid of what I might see on the internet... 741 01:05:55,497 --> 01:05:59,457 Oooh, right. I have Ginny’s new address in my room, if you want to come in 742 01:05:59,459 --> 01:06:06,214 for a cold drink? 743 01:06:06,216 --> 01:06:09,177 So, what was your name again? 744 01:06:17,310 --> 01:06:21,187 -Hi Jake. Again... -So you got a job at a sex shop? 745 01:06:21,189 --> 01:06:25,858 -It’s an art gallery. -Mmm...that’s a pity. Sex sells. 746 01:06:25,860 --> 01:06:28,736 Well art sells for more and it’s dirtier. 747 01:06:28,738 --> 01:06:32,115 Oh, hi. Good afternoon. Please take a look around. 748 01:06:32,117 --> 01:06:37,412 -Thank you. -Ginny, I miss you. We need to talk. 749 01:06:37,414 --> 01:06:41,958 Well, I don’t miss you, Jake, okay? 750 01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,127 Bastard. 751 01:06:46,589 --> 01:06:52,468 -Remarkable, isn’t it? It is in fact the actual penis of the artist. 752 01:06:52,470 --> 01:06:55,888 -His own penis? -Yes, his very last erection. He had it 753 01:06:55,890 --> 01:06:59,851 injected with a quick-drying elastomer moments before it was surgically removed. 754 01:06:59,853 --> 01:07:04,856 -Why would he want to lose his penis? -Uh, to become a better human being. 755 01:07:04,858 --> 01:07:08,276 -Mmm... -So... So this is the real thing? 756 01:07:08,278 --> 01:07:12,697 Yep. She just wanted to be rid of the damned thing. Now while he was 757 01:07:12,699 --> 01:07:16,953 an expensive artist, she is even more so. 758 01:07:20,290 --> 01:07:24,667 -Ginny you need to come back to the house. -Jake, no, please. I’m working off of 759 01:07:24,669 --> 01:07:27,003 commission, and I haven’t made a single sale. Can you please go? 760 01:07:27,005 --> 01:07:30,423 -But you really need to come back. -Can you actually use this? 761 01:07:30,425 --> 01:07:34,260 Oh, yes. The artist is very keen on her penis being used, now that she’s finished 762 01:07:34,262 --> 01:07:38,389 with it. She sees it as a combination of life after death and recycling. 763 01:07:38,391 --> 01:07:43,728 -Can we--can we try it out? -Uh, can you try it out? 764 01:07:43,730 --> 01:07:46,481 -Mmhmm. -Uh, no, I'm afraid not. 765 01:07:46,483 --> 01:07:49,277 Uh, but you can touch it, I guess. 766 01:07:51,905 --> 01:07:56,407 -Oh my God, it’s--It’s perfect. -We'll take it. 767 01:07:56,409 --> 01:08:01,079 -But it's twenty-five thousand dollars. -For art like this, that’s cheap. 768 01:08:01,081 --> 01:08:05,541 Okay, you guys, it’s a fake. It’s a fake penis. It’s not real. 769 01:08:05,543 --> 01:08:09,337 -Oh, we know that. -Okay well you know you could just 770 01:08:09,339 --> 01:08:12,590 go,like, buy a dildo, or something? -No, no, no, then we’d have to hide it. 771 01:08:12,592 --> 01:08:17,887 This is art. We can display this in our living room. We’ll take it. 772 01:08:17,889 --> 01:08:23,267 Okay... 773 01:08:24,562 --> 01:08:29,941 -Hey, everybody. Look who it is. -Hey, guys and gals... 774 01:08:29,943 --> 01:08:35,404 -Oh. Virginia? -Hi.... 775 01:08:35,406 --> 01:08:42,831 -Okay, what the fuck is going on? -You need to go see Leslie. 776 01:08:53,716 --> 01:08:56,509 Seriously? 777 01:08:56,511 --> 01:08:59,137 Ginny, I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how. 778 01:08:59,139 --> 01:09:04,475 I was scared you were going to tell Mom. And this is not just sex. Although-- 779 01:09:04,477 --> 01:09:08,563 golly gosh--the sex is so great. I didn’t even know it was possible. 780 01:09:08,565 --> 01:09:13,985 I mean, I came, and I can’t stop coming. I know it’s wicked, I just--it feels so 781 01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:17,864 completely right, and I love this woman so much. Please tell me it’s okay? 782 01:09:17,866 --> 01:09:20,032 I know this is not what-- -Stop! 783 01:09:20,034 --> 01:09:23,035 It’s beautiful. 784 01:09:23,037 --> 01:09:30,084 -I am SO glad we didn’t fuck. -Fuck yeah! So am I... 785 01:09:30,086 --> 01:09:33,838 -Dan dah-dah dah! Here she is! 786 01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:37,133 I got it! I graduated. And I got offered a job! 787 01:09:43,850 --> 01:09:56,110 Now that everyone’s here, I have an announcement to make. Take a seat. 788 01:09:56,112 --> 01:10:02,074 Before we leave the house... I’m getting married! 789 01:10:04,996 --> 01:10:06,871 Wait, what? 790 01:10:11,127 --> 01:10:15,630 No, no, no. His name is Winston. We met at a party. He rolled off of some 791 01:10:15,632 --> 01:10:21,385 girl, our eyes met, and there he was. -Oh, that is so romantic. 792 01:10:21,387 --> 01:10:24,597 -What kind of person is he? -Six inches. 793 01:10:24,599 --> 01:10:26,557 -Beer bottle? -Beer can. 794 01:10:26,559 --> 01:10:30,353 -Oh my goodness! -Truly! 795 01:10:30,355 --> 01:10:34,190 -But does he love you? -Can't keep his hands off of me. 796 01:10:34,192 --> 01:10:36,150 Well, okay. There must be something special about him? 797 01:10:36,152 --> 01:10:40,154 Oh yeah. Yeah...yeah! 798 01:10:40,156 --> 01:10:46,285 -So, what is it? -He, uh...He bends to the left. 799 01:10:46,287 --> 01:10:50,915 -He what? -I have a displaced G-spot. It’s over 800 01:10:50,917 --> 01:10:53,918 to the right, he bends to the left, so it’s perfect. 801 01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:56,879 You’re going to marry a man because his penis bends to the left? 802 01:10:56,881 --> 01:11:02,843 -Don’t you worry, I’ll make it work. -Congratulations, you idiot! 803 01:11:08,851 --> 01:11:12,812 Hey, Cindy! You going to wear something crazy to the wedding? 804 01:11:12,814 --> 01:11:15,523 I don’t think I can go to the wedding. 805 01:11:15,525 --> 01:11:19,443 Wha-what? What?! Why not? 806 01:11:19,445 --> 01:11:25,533 Look at you. You’re moving on with your career, and you’re getting married. 807 01:11:25,535 --> 01:11:30,037 Meanwhile I’ve been doing this same job for fifteen years, and I’ve never even had 808 01:11:30,039 --> 01:11:33,165 a real boyfriend. I better go to my room. 809 01:11:33,167 --> 01:11:38,006 No! Wait. Just wait. 810 01:11:41,968 --> 01:11:45,678 -Steve, we cannot interfere. -Bullshit. 811 01:11:50,643 --> 01:11:54,812 -Speak. -I...I think you should get the 812 01:11:54,814 --> 01:11:59,108 Guys back online. They miss you. -And...? 813 01:11:59,110 --> 01:12:06,449 -And I can’t bear to see you unhappy. -Because? 814 01:12:06,451 --> 01:12:12,663 -Because I...I love you. -Huh! But you never said. 815 01:12:12,665 --> 01:12:14,915 Because I thought the Guys would get mad at me. 816 01:12:14,917 --> 01:12:19,754 Oh, right. I guess no one would want all the Guys there watching. 817 01:12:19,756 --> 01:12:23,382 Actually...that kinda turns me on. 818 01:12:23,384 --> 01:12:28,929 Then why the FUCK didn’t you tell me? I want you to turn on the cam, get 819 01:12:28,931 --> 01:12:34,352 the Guys back online right now. Now go upstairs, take off your clothes, 820 01:12:34,354 --> 01:12:39,315 and lie on the bed naked. -Gyah-ha! 821 01:12:39,317 --> 01:12:42,943 Wait, Cindy! Does this mean-- 822 01:12:42,945 --> 01:12:47,823 -Oh, yeah. We can all stay in the house. -Yes! 823 01:12:47,825 --> 01:12:52,787 Steve, you were brilliant. I never knew you had feelings. 824 01:12:52,789 --> 01:13:02,046 -Sure I do. I just keep ‘em in my dick. -My kind of guy... 825 01:13:02,048 --> 01:13:04,673 So this means you can stay at the house again, right? 826 01:13:04,675 --> 01:13:10,554 No, Jake. I’ll see you at the wedding. 827 01:13:10,556 --> 01:13:14,100 You have the brain the size of one of my testicles. 828 01:13:14,102 --> 01:13:17,311 Look, I know what you all think, okay, but you just don’t get it. 829 01:13:17,313 --> 01:13:21,857 Virginia doesn’t want all of that stuff. She’s a sensible person, she doesn’t 830 01:13:21,859 --> 01:13:25,945 want to ruin what we have. What am I going to do, chase after her? How’s that going 831 01:13:25,947 --> 01:13:33,869 to look, right? And then what am I going to say, “Virginia, I love you!” 832 01:13:33,871 --> 01:13:41,421 -Anyway, you don’t even have testicles. -Neither do you. 833 01:13:45,383 --> 01:13:47,425 Nigel... 834 01:13:47,427 --> 01:13:51,345 -Oh, hey, Jake, looking good. -I think so. You, too. 835 01:13:51,347 --> 01:13:56,267 Mom! Dad! There you are! 836 01:13:56,269 --> 01:14:01,730 -So good to meet you. -Oh! So you’re Truly? 837 01:14:01,732 --> 01:14:12,241 -Yes. -Where’s he? Him? Our...our son. 838 01:14:12,243 --> 01:14:15,244 You know him, he takes so long to get dressed. 839 01:14:15,246 --> 01:14:20,541 -Why did you choose W... -Winston. 840 01:14:20,543 --> 01:14:27,381 Yes, I know what his name is! Why did you choose... Winston? 841 01:14:27,383 --> 01:14:31,427 He's exactly right for me. You know how a big one just hits you right at the back, 842 01:14:31,429 --> 01:14:36,140 slams your wall like an interior remodel. And a small one, yeah, it just tickles all 843 01:14:36,142 --> 01:14:41,562 the right places? Well Winston, he’s right in the middle. Real nice shape, big head, 844 01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:47,067 smooth shaft, little curve. Oh my god, incredibly hard. Feels like he’s made to 845 01:14:47,069 --> 01:14:50,863 measure, with the pelvic bone like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, just hits my clit like 846 01:14:50,865 --> 01:14:55,117 a jackhammer bub-bub-bubbub-bub. Almost as good as my vibrator, and how many guys can 847 01:14:55,119 --> 01:15:00,415 you say that about? I just come like Chris 848 01:15:00,417 --> 01:15:03,001 Oh, you cannot save Truly from herself. 849 01:15:03,003 --> 01:15:07,255 Let’s get this done everybody! 850 01:15:07,257 --> 01:15:10,091 The ceremony will be led by an ordained 851 01:15:10,093 --> 01:15:15,889 minister from the Church of Perpetual Abandon. 852 01:15:15,891 --> 01:15:19,726 My friend...Steve. 853 01:15:19,728 --> 01:15:28,318 Thank you, thank you... Welcome, welcome, welcome. 854 01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:35,116 Dearly beloved, let’s cut right to the chase. Haul him in! 855 01:15:58,141 --> 01:16:03,728 Thank you, Sister Virginia, Brother Jake. Now I have been told to make this quick, 856 01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:09,067 so that we may get back to our party. -Yeah, no rings. Except this one. 857 01:16:09,069 --> 01:16:12,195 -Aaah! -Oh ho, wonderful! Now do you, 858 01:16:12,197 --> 01:16:16,825 Winston, dude, do you take this woman, Truly, to be your lawfully wedded wife? 859 01:16:16,827 --> 01:16:20,787 -He does. -Yeah, he has to say that. 860 01:16:20,789 --> 01:16:27,586 -Oh please. I want her to give my answers. -Yeah, not this one. 861 01:16:27,588 --> 01:16:37,596 -Okay, so, I... I do. I do! I do! -Wonderful, wonderful! Now do you Truly-- 862 01:16:37,598 --> 01:16:41,141 -Poem, poem, poem. Can I do my poem now? -We have a poem! 863 01:16:41,143 --> 01:16:44,853 -Oh, no... -Hey, so I watched this movie, and they 864 01:16:44,855 --> 01:16:49,941 got married, and some guy said a poem. Crying, everyone. Or maybe it was a 865 01:16:49,943 --> 01:16:53,945 funeral? Same fucking thing, right? 866 01:16:53,947 --> 01:16:56,573 Sorry, sorry. Anyway... 867 01:16:56,575 --> 01:17:00,243 Before we sign our oath, my love We can't depend on luck 868 01:17:00,245 --> 01:17:03,955 One thing we must agree, my dove And that's the way we fuck. 869 01:17:03,957 --> 01:17:07,417 You see a girl you want, my love Go on, take a chance 870 01:17:07,419 --> 01:17:11,379 Give her all the dick you got But give me your romance. 871 01:17:11,381 --> 01:17:14,799 See a boy you want, my love Take him by the hair 872 01:17:14,801 --> 01:17:16,468 -Yeah... -Take him any way you want 873 01:17:16,470 --> 01:17:19,137 As long as I can share. -Oh, yeah... 874 01:17:19,139 --> 01:17:23,808 So bring it home to me, my love Let our love be free 875 01:17:23,810 --> 01:17:31,441 Have sex with anything you like Just bring it home to me. 876 01:17:31,443 --> 01:17:38,907 Alright, let’s hit it! -Well um...Do you Truly take him, 877 01:17:38,909 --> 01:17:45,455 Winston, yes Winston, to be your lawfully wedded wife...hus--husband? 878 01:17:45,457 --> 01:17:50,210 -Both, yes I do. -Wonderful, wonderful. Well now by the 879 01:17:50,212 --> 01:17:55,256 power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. 880 01:18:04,142 --> 01:18:10,021 -I love you so much. -I love you, too, big boy. 881 01:18:21,493 --> 01:18:25,120 Everyone in the pool! 882 01:18:25,122 --> 01:18:27,163 -To the poool! -Wooh! 883 01:18:34,631 --> 01:18:41,054 No, no, it’s okay, sit down. 884 01:18:45,225 --> 01:18:51,312 Oh god...WINSTON! Your father! 885 01:18:51,314 --> 01:18:58,278 -Don’t worry, I know CPR. -No! Get away fronm here. FUCK OFF! HA! 886 01:18:58,280 --> 01:19:02,532 I haven’t done this in years... 887 01:19:02,534 --> 01:19:09,706 I’ve been waiting to do this... my entire...life! 888 01:19:21,595 --> 01:19:25,597 -Go on! -Ginny, you leaving again? 889 01:19:25,599 --> 01:19:30,935 -Maybe. Can I embarrass you, Jake? -Not possible. Try it. 890 01:19:30,937 --> 01:19:34,564 You’re a really good friend. And thanks to you I have a bunch more. 891 01:19:34,566 --> 01:19:37,901 -Oh...well, okay. -And there’s nothing you could 892 01:19:37,903 --> 01:19:37,942 -Oh...well, okay. -And there’s nothing you could 893 01:19:37,944 --> 01:19:41,738 ever do to hurt me, except lie to me. -What would I possibly have to lie 894 01:19:41,740 --> 01:19:44,407 to you about? You’ve seen me-- -Screwing everything that moves. 895 01:19:44,409 --> 01:19:48,787 Yeah, I know. And that’s all fine, Jake. I like what you are, and I don't want you 896 01:19:48,789 --> 01:19:53,374 to change. But just promise me you won’t stop change if it happens to you. 897 01:19:53,376 --> 01:19:58,713 Yeah, sure, okay. Umm, can we move on? 898 01:19:58,715 --> 01:20:01,716 Listen, um, are you free the first of next month? 899 01:20:01,718 --> 01:20:04,302 -For you, yes. -That’s the day we get married. 900 01:20:04,304 --> 01:20:06,387 What? 901 01:20:06,389 --> 01:20:08,640 I’m thinking you love me. Deny it. 902 01:20:08,642 --> 01:20:14,270 I...Is this a joke? Gi-- Let’s just hook up for a while. 903 01:20:14,272 --> 01:20:16,606 -For you, that means nothing. -We haven’t even had sex. 904 01:20:16,608 --> 01:20:20,068 -You had your chance. -Virginia, you can’t force me to 905 01:20:20,070 --> 01:20:22,779 spend the rest of my life with you. -Well, then you’re gonna be without me 906 01:20:22,781 --> 01:20:29,035 for the rest of your life. Which is worse? Listen, Jake...I love you. And this is the 907 01:20:29,037 --> 01:20:34,666 only way I’m going to get you. So if you say no, we both walk away. 908 01:20:34,668 --> 01:20:37,126 -I’m not very good at saying-- -That’s why I’m saying it for you. 909 01:20:37,128 --> 01:20:40,755 -I can’t just make a decision. -I made it for you. 910 01:20:40,757 --> 01:20:44,133 So you’re saying, I don’t have any choice in this? I don’t have a choice right now? 911 01:20:44,135 --> 01:20:47,639 -Done? -Done. 912 01:20:52,561 --> 01:20:57,313 Congratulations, Jake. Here are the keys to this car. We put the papers in the 913 01:20:57,315 --> 01:21:01,860 glove box, packed your stuff inside, so you can take it, drive off, get on with 914 01:21:01,862 --> 01:21:05,822 your life and never come back, or... 915 01:21:05,824 --> 01:21:10,702 Classic girl? Classic car? What’s it going to be, Jake? 916 01:21:10,704 --> 01:21:15,623 Jake, life isn’t about having choices. It’s about making them. 917 01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:20,336 Okay, I see what you’re doing everybody, thank you very much, I appreciate it, 918 01:21:20,338 --> 01:21:22,505 but I think it’s a little too much... 919 01:21:22,507 --> 01:21:27,385 I mean, I’m a pretty reasonable guy, but I know what I’m doing, okay? 920 01:21:27,387 --> 01:21:29,387 You think I haven’t really thought this over? 921 01:21:48,283 --> 01:21:51,910 This is outrageous! AAAAAAAAHHHH! 922 01:21:59,502 --> 01:22:03,755 Yaaaahaaaaw...! 923 01:22:10,597 --> 01:22:13,181 Eh, eh? 924 01:22:13,183 --> 01:22:14,682 Come on, let’s do it! 925 01:22:14,684 --> 01:22:16,809 -Are you kidding, now? -Yeah, why not? 926 01:22:16,811 --> 01:22:19,896 -Well, this is Charlie’s Garage? -This is where we met! 927 01:22:19,898 --> 01:22:23,942 Okay...understand, there’s no chance you’re gonna make me come. 928 01:22:23,944 --> 01:22:26,653 -Jake, yes I am. -No, I promise you it’s 929 01:22:26,655 --> 01:22:28,029 not going to happen. -No, I really really am. 930 01:22:28,031 --> 01:22:30,073 -No, I’m serious-- -No, and I’m being serious, too-- 931 01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:31,282 There’s absolutely no way you’re gonna make me come!