(KEYS JANGLING)
(EERIE MUSIC)
(GATE CREAKS)
Raaaaahhh!
Oh, don't do that! (TUTS)
You took your sweet time.
Henley was hangin' around. He's fully suss on me.
We should hurry.
- Raaaahhh! BOY 1: Good one, goober.
Oi, wait up.
- (LIGHTS BOOM) - (DRAMATIC FOREBODING MUSIC)
BOTH BOYS: Sick!
This is such a bad idea.
Oh, man, you've worked here for months,
and we haven't done a single thing.
Yia Yia's gonna love this.
(CAMERA BEEPS)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Why can't we just get normal ones
in front of the Christmas tree?
What, like all the other cousins?
Nah. Nah, not us.
Not us. Makrides brothers forever!
ALL: Makrides brothers forever!
(CAMERA BEEPS, CLICKS)
Start her up, Xan. It's time to ride.
Dude, no.
We agreed on a photo, that's it.
I've got a date tonight.
Chunder...
BOTH: Chunder! Chunder! Chunder!
Chunder! Chunder! Chunder! Chunder! Chunder!
OK, OK!
One ride.
(DRAMATIC FOREBODING MUSIC)
(RIDE POWERS UP)
BRONSKI BEAT: ♪ Hit That Perfect Beat
ALL: Makrides forever!
♪ Searching for some company
♪ Feel the rhythm Dance with me
♪ Them beat boy blues seem out of place... ♪
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
♪ Now they want the party pace Party pace
♪ Dance, dance, on the floor... ♪
- (RIDE SPEEDS UP) BOY 3: I don't like this.
BOY 2: What's that sound? XANDER: I dunno!
BOY 2: Well, shut it off! XANDER: I can't!
♪ Dance, dance, feel the heat... ♪
BOY 3: Get me off this thing!
♪ Hit that perfect beat, boy... ♪
(ALL SCREAM)
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES) - ♪ I've got that feeling
♪ Them beat boy feelings
♪ I've got them feeling
♪ The perfect beat
♪ I've got that feeling
♪ Them beat boy feelings
♪ I've got them feeling... ♪
(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)
♪ Beat boy, beat boy
♪ Hit that perfect beat, boy
♪ Beat boy... ♪
(FAST-PACED THEME MUSIC)
(CRAZY LAUGHTER)
♪ La, la, la, la. ♪
GONZO: Did you get it, V?
Three garage sales and a whole Sunday afternoon later.
Booyah!
Ash said it's a clanger.
Banger. And I think she was being sarcastic.
Oh!
Leather cover, secure grip, rolled seams.
Deadly!
So what are you gonna do with...
(BALL WHISTLING)
Hear that? Real one just sounds different.
That cost me 10 bucks.
Breakfast!
(VIOLETTA CHUCKLES)
(MUFFLED) Thanks, Violetta!
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
Last stop.
Hey...
..guys, are you in there?
Guys?
(DOOR HISSES OPEN)
(MENACING MUSIC)
What you got for us?
Nothin'. We didn't ask for nothin'.
- I got a note asking for... - Nah, I didn't ask for those.
(XANDER MOUTHS SILENTLY)
My bad. Uh, they're probably for Willo.
Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Willo's lactose intolerant.
Waste not, want not.
Oi! What you got? Quit hogging them.
Give us one, greedy guts!
When you find out whose this is, tell 'em I owe 'em big-time.
BOY 3: Gimme one, maggotbreath! BOY 2: Shut it, goober!
DESTINEE: Oof... That's just painful to watch.
Xander's got the joneses bad for Siobhan.
But it's hard to flirt with whiny Kyros
and that jerk Darius always on your 'backne'.
VIOLETTA: Poor guy.
He's a Smiths song waiting to happen.
- Uh... DARIUS: Boys, follow me.
Careers night? Gross.
You have no idea.
Ms Wiest really wants me to go.
Oh, and Mum has organised me
to talk to this architect she went to uni with.
- You're gonna miss out. - Huh?
Tonight I'll be breaking the park high score.
(CHESTER CHUCKLES)
That guy from, um, Creative Arts High is gonna be there.
(BALL BOUNCES OFF BACKBOARD)
Don't freak out, but...
..I thought I could show him some of our stuff.
Get some feedback.
(BALL BOUNCES OFF RING)
Genius!
After that second-rate art school trash,
he's gonna love it!
- Maybe he'll wanna publish it! - Yeah... Maybe.
OK, you do not want to mess this up.
This is a big opportunity.
You need to tell me everything.
No - write it down.
Record it!
How do you feel about wearing a hidden camera?
A little weird.
One day our fans will talk of this meeting!
It'll be part of our mythology.
Nay - our legend!
(CHESTER CHUCKLES)
(SINISTER MUSIC)
No. No way. Xan's not into Siobhan.
Come on, as if I wouldn't notice.
I'm a goth.
I see unrequited love like psychics see auras.
Have you tried talking to her?
How am I supposed to do that?
Darius won't let you get a word in.
I'd never get in Xan's way. Never. He's family.
Shh, listen.
He doesn't mean it,
he's just so dominating.
He always takes over and tells me what to do.
- I can't be me. - Boring!
XANDER AND DARIUS: Shut it, goober!
(PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC)
Is that true?
Kyros, am I that bad?
Worse. You also got death breath.
I'm just trying to look out for you.
You're my little bro.
How can I make this right?
Well...
..I never did get to go on a date.
VIOLETTA: (WHISPERS) I dunno, let's see what she says...
You know what? Why not?
I'm not doing anything else.
I got a date!
DARIUS: I told you you'd make a great last resort.
So, what time?
Wait... Tonight?
- Mm-hm. - (WHISPERS) Yes! Come on!
Can we turn this around in time?
Oh, trust me.
I've been waiting for two of us to hook up for years.
I...am...ready.
CHESTER: I'll let you know how it goes!
- Left you alone again? - (GASPS)
What? Yeah.
No! People know where I am.
If anything happens to me,
it'll lead them to a safety deposit box.
Where's Fester going?
He's showing our work to a, uh - (CLEARS THROAT) -
major talent scout.
Wow.
And you don't get to be a part of it.
I don't care.
It's not like I'm missing out on something that...
..would immortalise me forever.
So if I was to tell you
that there might be a way you could join him,
that probably wouldn't be of interest to you.
What, you mean get out of here?
Hard pass.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
This...is yours, right?
Yeah.
Watch this.
No way.
- But how? - It's the connection.
This was important to you when you were alive.
It creates a link between you in here
and the world out there.
Try it.
(TENSE MUSIC BUILDS)
No. No, you try it.
Heh...it's not my toy.
I don't want to be your experiment, Dr Frankensteen!
Just 'cause the toy made it doesn't mean I will.
This beautiful face could go up in flames!
Fine. If you want to miss
this once-in-a-deathtime opportunity...
..fine.
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)
I do want to go, though.
Listen...
I get it.
I do. It's scary.
But you know what might help?
Wha...! (SCREAMS)
I'm melting! No! I'm melting!
I'm-I'm... I'm fine.
- I'm out. - (REMUS EXHALES)
- I'm out! - Shhhh! Shh!
Just our little secret. OK?
You keep that thing with you, and if you feel anything weird,
you come straight back.
Entschuldigung?
What do you mean, "weird"?
Just be back by sunrise.
Maybe before.
- What happens if I'm not? - Go!
Whoo! Oh, yeah!
(MAPPLETHORPE CHUCKLES)
I'm comin', Chester!
(THEATRICALLY) For he is he and she is she.
They were two before their time.
He was hers before he knew,
and she has always been his too.
He knows this is a first date, right?
(SLOW MOODY MUSIC PLAYS)
I have no idea what to talk about.
It's fine. Just...tell her you're in a band.
You're a lead guitarist. No, no - you're a lead singer.
Chicks go crazy for stuff like that.
- But I never... - Good evening, sirs.
Right this way.
GONZO: (OVER P.A.) And now a special song to set the mood.
TCHAIKOVSKY ♪ Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture
Gonzo. What are you doin'?
(MUSIC STOPS)
Good evening, Siobhan.
- (SLOW, MOODY MUSIC RESUMES) - Hey, Xander.
Hey, guys.
Ignore us. We're not even here.
- Unless you want us to be. DARIUS: Shut it!
So, um...
..how have you been?
Oh, you know, wake up,
ride the rides,
be dead.
Livin' the dream!
Cool.
Cool, cool.
(DARIUS NUDGES XANDER)
Yeah, I mean, I was just thinking about my old band
from when I was alive.
A band. Great...
I was the lead singer. We were really popular.
- Yeah, yeah. - A lot of fans.
- Uh-huh. - (WHISPERS) Nice, bro.
Can I take your order?
(WHISPERS) Take control.
- I don't know what she wants. - Doesn't matter. You decide.
Chicks love confidence.
I think I'll have a caramel...
We'll have two meat pies, extra sauce. And a round of dimmies.
We've got two-minute noodles.
Two of the two-minute noodle specials.
It's not special. It's all we've got.
VIOLETTA: How's he going?
It's like a ventriloquist died and the dummy kept talking.
(HUSHED CHATTER)
Chester, your parents said
you're keen to become an architect.
I... Yeah.
I really like drawing.
It comes naturally.
MAPPLETHORPE: Your stink comes naturally.
(MAPPLETHORPE GIGGLING)
Ches.
Oh.
Uh, I suppose I'm looking for a job where I can...
MAPPLETHORPE: Smell my own butt. CHESTER: ..that...
- Where you can... - (MAPPLETHORPE GIGGLES)
- ..draw? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
Helloooo!
Argh!
- (BEATBOXES) - What are you doing here?
Excuse me?
(MAPPLETHORPE MAKES WHOOSHING SOUNDS)
- Projects! - Oh.
What projects are you doing here?
- Well... - What projects? What projects?
..we've just started a gorgeous hotel on the foreshore.
(DRAWLS) That sounds gorgeous, doesn't it?
Right on the foreshore
where everyone lets their dogs take a dump.
Oh, I'm sorry! Whoops!
I'll just get them.
(WHISPERS) How are you here, haunting me?
- (WHISPERS) Haunting? - Yeah.
I'm body non-committal, thank you very much!
And I'm here to make sure we blow Oleander away...
(STOMACH RUMBLES, RETCHES)
CHESTER: Oh... MUM: Chester?
What you doing down there?
CHESTER: So sorry.
Well, it's great to be able to draw.
But if you want to be an architect,
you also need to be able to focus.
People really underestimate
how much you need to be able to focus.
- You have a little something. - I do?
- Just let me... Sorry... - Excuse me?
- Let me just... - Oh. OK... Uh-uh.
Alright. How about this? Yeah?
OK.
Come on! You're wasting your time!
MAPPLETHORPE: Come on! - Oh. Uh...
Is there somewhere else you need to be?
No. I'm happy here. Anything else can wait...
- (THUDDING) - (CHESTER GRUNTS)
Uh...why don't we put a pin in this? Hey?
Come on, we gotta go!
XANDER: John Bonham's drum kicks are just...
(XANDER AND DARIUS ROAR)
You've seen Zep, right?
I'll take this for you, sir.
(WHISPERS) Stop talking so much about yourself
and ask some questions.
You're boring her, doofus!
Sorry, um...
I've been meaning to ask, um, what music are you into?
The usual.
Britney. Uh, Christina.
NSYNC.
Sick. I bet they shred like lords!
I don't think they play anything.
They're hella cute, though.
They're a boy band.
You don't like music by adults?
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
So...I heard your spawn point is Chunderstruck.
What's that like?
You've never ridden the Chunder?
I've barely done anything here.
Kevin didn't like doing much.
Except for talking about himself. Nonstop.
Sounds like a real barf bag.
He was.
- He was a real barf bag. - Want me to show you around?
And miss all this excruciating awkwardness?
Stop pushing me!
(EXHALES) Oh...
Yeah, there is just something about wood panelling, right?
Are you Chester Dante?
The artist in residence?
Tell him!
Ah, I don't know about that...
Oh, enough talk! Show him!
Thank you.
- Oh. - (MAPPLETHORPE COUGHS)
Ask him what he thinks.
What-what do you think?
Hmm.
Ah. Hmm.
- Tell him you want feedback! - Just chill, chill.
- Sorry? - (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
You love it!
Groundbreaking! Unlike anything you've ever seen before!
An artist certainly has to be bold.
And this is certainly bold.
Yes! See? He loves it!
Let's buy a yacht!
Who are your influences?
Uh, Neville Moore.
As if he's ever heard of Neville Moore.
That's obvious.
What?
(COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS)
Are you good?
MR OLEANDER: Very promising.
But art has to be personal.
This feels derivative.
Derivative?
I wrote it with my best friend.
This...
This is incredibly personal.
Maybe you don't need him.
Have you created anything on your own?
What?
MR OLEANDER: Take a look at this.
It may not seem like much, but it's the first time
I made a conscious effort to move away from my influences
to make something alone.
It's still the piece I'm most proud of.
I've seen better art on the walls of a public toilet.
What would this imposter know?
No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Chester, is everything OK?
- Yeah. Uh... (STAMMERS) - (COUGHS)
Just a really beautiful piece.
He doesn't know anything.
- No-one here does! (GAGS) - Stop it!
I beg your pardon?
(WHISPERS) This is my one chance.
(RETCHES AND COUGHS)
(CHESTER GAGS)
CHESTER: Oh...
(MAPPLETHORPE COUGHING)
(CAMERA CLICKING)
1927: ♪ If I Could
- ♪ If I could paint... ♪ SIOBHAN: Cheers! (CHUCKLES)
♪ I'd paint a portrait of you
♪ The sunlight in your eyes... ♪
- KYROS: I wanna see! - ♪ A masterpiece of truth... ♪
SIOBHAN: What? As if Britney's second album...
♪ And a single tear like a silent prayer
♪ That's shining so much brighter
♪ Than a diamond ever dared
♪ If I could do anything at all
♪ I'd do it for you... ♪
(SIOBHAN AND XANDER LAUGH)
♪ If I could write... ♪
- Aww! - ♪ I'd write a book for you
♪ A tale of hidden treasures
♪ With an I.O.U.
♪ And a million words wouldn't say... ♪
I had a really good time tonight.
Me too. I've never been on a date with three guys at once.
Yeah. Maybe...we could do this again?
I like you, Xander.
You guys are nice, too.
But I missed out on so much because of Kevin.
I never got to be by myself.
I was always someone else's appendage.
So...I need to...
Be on your own for a while?
I knew you would get it.
You OK, big fella?
I'm...
..ace.
I went on a date! A real date!
Yeah, you did.
Thanks, bros.
(ROCK RIFF)
Makrides forever!
(TENSE MUSIC)
(TYRES SCREECH)
(GASPS)
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
(CAR ENGINE IDLING)
Mum?
(GAGS)
- (TENSE MUSIC) - (MAPPLETHORPE PANTS)
(COUGHS)
(COUGHS AND GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(SPLUTTERS)
(GROANS)
(TENSE MUSIC BUILDS)
(MAPPLETHORPE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS)
REMUS: What happened?
Maggots happened! Heaps of them!
Could they see you? Could they hear you?
Tell me everything.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
DAD: Parent alert.
Hey, Ches.
Your dad and I are sorry
if we put too much pressure on you tonight.
Can we just talk about this tomorrow?
Of course.
But we just wanted to let you know that...
..whatever you choose to do with your life...
..we are right there with you.
OK?
Thanks, Dad.
Don't stay up too late.
(PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(SINISTER MUSIC)
It didn't work.
His body wasn't strong enough.
(UNEARTHLY WHISPERING)
But I'll find a way.
I promise.
(CREEPY LAUGHTER ECHOES)
I'm gonna get us out of here.
(FAST-PACED THEME MUSIC)
♪ La, la, la, la. ♪