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[up-tempo music playing]
[traffic whooshes]
[indistinct chatter]
[phone dings]
[sighs]
[card reader beeps]
[Minnie] Ugh.
[card reader beeps]
Shit.
[Minnie grunts]
- [card reader beeps] - [phone rings]
Oh, hi.
Did you make it out of the house?
Yeah, I'm, uh-- I'm-- I'm--
[grunts]
I'm at the tube.
Oh!
[woman 1] Good. And nothing bad's happened?
No fallin' pianos.
No pigeons of the apocalypse.
Not yet.
I'm sure the New Year's Eve jinx will get me in the end.
Like it does every year.
Okay, well, Minnie, I'm here preparing your pies,
so you can go have a stress-free night,
celebrate with your boyfriend, and see in the New Year.
So I say no to letting the jinx ruin tonight.
Remember, it's only real--
If I let it be real.
Seriously, Leila, in the 16 years we've been friends,
can you think of one New Year's Eve
that hasn't been a complete disaster for me?
Do you really think I make this shit up?
- Well, no. - Exactly!
I swear to you the universe has it in for me.
I love you.
- Yeah. I love you, too. - Have fun.
Nothing bad is gonna happen.
- [screams] - [thud]
Minnie?
[sighs]
No.
[fabric ripping]
[whimpers, pants]
[tube door beeping]
Uh, shit.
[door whooshes]
Oh.
[indistinct chatter]
[upbeat music playing]
[train squeals, whirs]
Sorry.
[indistinct chatter in background]
[train whirring]
[train squealing]
[passengers] Oh!
[passenger] Aw! Oh, damn it!
[phone alarm rings]
[train announcer on pa system] Due to a signal failure
and an incredibly unlikely combination
of other technical failures,
this train will be held in a tunnel
until further notice.
Happy New Year, folks!
[messages dinging]
[soft music playing]
[dance music playing]
♪ Oh ♪
[dance music continues]
[clock chiming in background]
[crowd] ...eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
[crowd cheering]
[crowd] Happy New Year!
[crowd cheering]
- [crowd member 1] No, no, no, no, no! - [pukes]
- [crowd member 1] Oh! - [crowd member 2] Oh, no!
Sorry, sorry.
[crowd member 1 speaks indistinctly]
[crowd member 2] Sorry, sorry.
[clock chiming in background]
Happy birthday to me.
♪ Pink on the moon ♪
♪ Cracks in the clues ♪
♪ One thing that is crystal clear ♪
♪ Crystal clear ♪
♪ My blood is all diamonds When I'm with you ♪
♪ Pink on the moon ♪
♪ Cracks in the clues ♪
♪ One thing that is crystal clear ♪
♪ Crystal clear ♪
♪ My blood is all diamonds When I'm with you ♪
Finally, you are a year late.
Sorry. I-- I got stuck.
Um, Greg, you d-- you didn't tell me
- it was black tie. - No one cares.
It's a bourgeois construct, isn't it?
Lucy.
Oh, I look like such a bloody lemon, though!
[Lucy] So this must be Minnie.
Happy birthday.
Shit, sorry.
Happy birthday.
[Lucy] Greg mentioned you're a 1st of January baby.
- Just like my boyfriend. - [Minnie] Thanks.
Um, I'm not really big into birthdays, though.
So what do you do, Minnie?
Uh, Minnie has her own catering business.
Hi, can I, uh, get a gin tonic as soon as you got 'em in?
[laughs]
It's not funny.
Yeah. I-- I'll be back.
♪ My blood is all diamonds When I'm with you ♪
[rubbing]
Ugh!
[rubbing]
[sighs]
At least the night can't get much worse.
[takes a deep breath]
Come on, Minnie.
You know, it's only real if you let it be real.
[takes a deep breath]
[gasps]
Why would you say that! Why!
[pants]
[bangs the door]
Shit.
[phone beeps]
[screams]
Hello? Hello!
Can anyone hear me?
I-- I really need some help!
Can someone please go and find Greg Bevans?
He's a short, angry man. You can't miss him!
He's the only one not wearing black tie!
[upbeat music playing]
[cheering]
[indistinct lyrics]
[soft music playing]
- [door shuts] - [inhales, exhales]
Hello?
Is someone there?
[man] Hello?
Oh, thank God!
Can you help me? I-- I'm stuck in here.
[man] Oh, right.
So you locked yourself in?
No, the-- the door handle broke.
[man] Okay. Well, let me take a run at it.
You better stand well back
I don't want you to get hurt.
Oh, no, I-- I think you need to pull it towards you.
[man] Oh, okay then.
Um-- [clears throat] Hi!
Hi.
[sighs]
How long have you been in here?
Not long.
Since just after midnight.
Well, Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
[chuckles]
I'm Minnie. I came with Greg.
Ah, funny Greg's girlfriend.
So funny, he went home without me.
What are you still doing here?
I try to see the first sunrise of every year.
It's a chance to start everything anew.
Oh, it's my least favorite day of the year.
- I bloody hate it. - Oh, you can't hate it.
It's my birthday.
Get out of here.
Oh, it's my birthday, too!
Uh. Yeah, I-- I don't think I've ever met anyone
with the same birthday as me, 1st of January.
Oh, I am such an idiot. It's your party. [chuckles]
You must be Lucy's boyfriend.
Yeah, Quinn.
Quinn?
Yeah.
- Quinn Hamilton? - Yes.
Quinn Hamilton born in Hampstead Hospital in 1990?
[Quinn] Yeah.
You! You stole my name!
- [fireworks explode] - [clock ticks]
- [clock chimes] - [baby cries]
[groans, pants]
Well, Mrs. Hamilton, at this rate you're not having this baby tonight.
You need to get up. Jostle things on a bit.
My money's on you, having this first '90s baby now, Connie.
[groaning]
[Connie] Midwife's right.
You gotta get up. Get things moving.
- I can't. - Hey, you gotta breathe deep.
Like hippo.
None of these prissy little sheep sounds.
Moo!
- Like that, come on. - Moo!
[laughing]
Oh, my days, that's not your laugh.
[laughs]
What's wrong with my laugh?
- Don't make me laugh. Don't make me laugh. - [laughs]
- Oh, it's worse. - [groans]
Oh, I'm, scared Connie.
- Well, it's a bit late now, innit? - [chuckles]
You're gonna be alright.
Do you know what you're havin'?
Oh, i-- it's a boy.
Got a name?
My husband likes Leopold after his uncle.
[both laugh]
Do you know what name I've got planned?
Quinn. It's a family name.
My grandma said it held the luck of the Irish.
Never knew a Quinn who didn't lead a charmed life.
Girl or boy, this one's gonna be Quinn.
All right, here comes another one.
- Moo! - Moo!
Moo!
[baby cries]
[news presenter] And on a lighter note,
the first baby born in the capital this year
has been announced. So what was the name of the lucky chap?
Someone told me Quinn was a lucky name.
- He's certainly been lucky so far. - [baby cries]
[news presenter] Lucky indeed.
With a cash prize of £50,000, that certainly gives young Quinn Hamilton
a very good start in life.
And why wouldn't they just call you "Quinn", too?
You were all over the news.
Plus, I don't think my mum could stomach it
after missing out on the prize money by less than a minute.
Well, I think Minnie is a lovely name.
You haven't heard my full name.
Minnie Cooper.
[chuckles]
Minnie Cooper like the car?
[both laugh]
Wow. That's crazy.
Yep. I actually don't think my parents noticed
for about two weeks.
You really think I stole your luck
as well as your name?
Well, hearing you say it out loud makes me sound completely mental,
but yeah, I kind of think you did.
[chuckles]
[Minnie] I have always had bad luck on my birthday.
It's like the day's jinxed for me.
Oh, Minnie!
[party horn blows]
[kids chattering]
[party horn blows]
[Connie] Minnie, wait for me! Minnie!
[kid groans]
This would never have happened to a Quinn Cooper.
This never would have happened to a Quinn Cooper
It is not your fault.
Mind you this never would have happened to a Quinn Cooper.
Yes, I get it!
[Quinn] Well, in that case, allow me
to take you for a birthday breakfast.
Thanks, but I need to shower.
I should probably let my boyfriend know I'm not dead.
Can I get your number at least?
- Don't you have a girlfriend? - It's only breakfast,
and it's not every day that you get to meet your birthday twin.
So you can find me online if you really want to.
Well, happy birthday, Minnie Cooper,
like the car.
Happy birthday, name stealer.
[keys jingling]
♪ I'm losing sleep ♪
♪ And counting steps ♪
♪ To keep me moving ♪
♪ Proving to the world ♪
♪ That I belong ♪
♪ And even though... ♪
[Minnie] Morning, Lucky.
How was your night?
My favorite pet, sweetie.
♪ I'm losing sleep ♪
♪ And counting steps ♪
♪ To keep me moving ♪
♪ Proving to the world ♪
♪ That I belong ♪
[groans]
[Minnie humming]
[soft upbeat music playing]
Pbbt.
- [door chime rings] - Good morning, Fleur.
Happy New Year.
What are you looking so happy about?
It's the 2nd of January, isn't it?
The day farthest away from my birthday.
Therefore, the best day of the year.
Nothing bad ever happens on the 2nd of January.
I did notice though that the van is parked on a double yellow line.
Is this leek milk?
I'm doing a leak-based diet this month.
Right. No, that's just uh, milk milk.
And can you move the van?
There's an amnesty on parking when it's a bank holiday.
There's no amnesty and it's not a bank holiday,
so--
What's that-- what's that smell?
[fun music playing]
[Fleur] Oh, yeah, there's been a disaster.
Beverly burnt the pies.
Me and the new ovens haven't been gettin' along.
We have a timer, Bev!
The pies take exactly 42 minutes!
Me and the timer haven't been gettin' along.
Oh!
I'm so sorry, Minnie. I don't know what's wrong with me.
One minute I'm thinkin' about pies and pastry,
the next I'm frettin' about the futility of existence.
Like what's the point? We're all gonna die anyway.
Yeah, she zoomed too far out on Google Maps.
Now she can't get back.
You know, the shamanic healer I saw in LA,
had an existential crisis just like this.
Fleur, can you remind me what it is we pay you to do?
Answer the phones, organize deliveries,
be the sexy youthful face of the organization.
So since the phone's not ringing and we have no pies to deliver,
could you please move the van?
I'm so sorry, Minnie.
[cries]
What the fuck is happenin' in here?
Yeah, Bev, burnt the pies.
[Leila] Look at the waste!
Do you not know the price of butter right now?
This is the last thing I need!
I'm sorry. It's these new ovens.
Don't you dare blame the ovens!
Okay, let's just not argue about ovens again, please.
Can we just focus on getting 40 new pies
baked and delivered by the end of the day?
I'll move the van.
I-- I'm sorry, but I need to get to the bank.
Oh, I'm sorry, I promise we'll fix it.
[phone dings]
Oh, bugger off!
Not you. Greg.
Can you believe he abandons me in a club on New Year's Eve
and now I'm the one getting arsey messages about where I got to?
I think you're due an upgrade on your boyfriend baggage.
Agreed, you could do with better customer care.
Or free roaming at least.
[phone dings]
- Right, I'm off. - Wanna take Fleur with you?
No. I take care of the finances, you lot take care of the bakin'.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Van's been clamped.
Uh. well...
Ugh! Who else has got a spare set of wheels we can borrow?
[Fleur] Doesn't Greg have a car?
[scoffs] No way.
["Peakin" by Skripture playing]
♪ Brother, I'm peakin' ♪
♪ I been goin' blind and you seen him ♪
♪ They just turnin' up where I been in ♪
♪ Where I'm elevatin' and no ceilin' ♪
♪ Two meanings ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm drop top schemin' ♪
♪ In my own lane, so I'm leadin' ♪
♪ If you follow him, then I'll chief him ♪
♪ Son him like he came from my semen ♪
♪ Demean him ♪
♪ I be makin' it-- ♪
Someone's finally emerged from their sick bed, have they?
- [clears throat] - How's the migraine?
It's better, thank you.
Supposed to be brought on by sleeping on a cold bathroom floor all night
because no one came to find me.
[Greg] How was I meant to know you were stuck?
I don't have a radar.
Like, "Boop, boop. Where's Minnie?
Boop, boop. Minnie not located. [chuckles]
Must find Minnie.
Ting, ting, ting. Minnie found.
Target acquired. I'm radar.
Robo-- I'm a robot.
[chuckles]
Well, if you just kept your phone fully charged,
then you wouldn't have to sleep in a toilet.
Hmm, thank you, that's-- that's a great idea, Greg.
Now listen, um, I kind of need to borrow your car.
Boop, boop. Negative.
Car not allowed for Minnie.
Boop, boop, boop, ding, ding, ding.
- Okay, okay. - Boop, boop.
No more booping, please!
- Ting, ting. - God, just stop!
- Ding, ding, ding. - Greg, okay, just stop!
[distorted speech]
- Listen. - [distortion on phone]
Hello?
[busy tone on phone]
Boop, boop.
Hey, hey, look, if-- if you give me the car,
I swear I will make it up to you tonight.
Yeah, I might even dress up as a sexy dental nurse again.
Yeah, I know how you love it
when I talk dirty to you about your flossing schedule.
Yeah, I might even buy you that special pink mouthwash.
[Quinn] Minnie?
Greg?
[Quinn] No, um, Quinn.
Pardon?
Quinn Hamilton?
Oh my God!
Hi. I don't-- [chuckles]
I don't-- I don't actually-- I don't actually know
how that happened.
Uh, you need to borrow a car?
Uh, no. No, I'm good.
Uh, yes, no. Yes, I do.
I do need to borrow a car.
Well, I have a car you could borrow.
That is nice of you, but my boyfriend has a car.
Well, if you borrow my car, you won't need to pick up
that special pink mouthwash, as fun as that sounds.
[scoffs]
[Fleur] Oh, Jesus.
Don't stand there like salivating dogs, do something.
[door chime rings]
[sighs]
Hi.
- Hi! - Hi!
One car, yours for the day.
Yes, I actually don't think I should drive that.
People will die. [chuckles]
I'm Quinn.
Hi, I'm Leila. Thanks for helpin' us out.
Pleasure.
I'm Fleur, I'm a Sagittarius,
I get easily excited.
[Bev] I'll go and guard the car.
It's-- isn't a great area.
Someone stole the bus stop last week.
Oi, you, touch that car and you're goin' in a pie!
Should I grab some boxes?
Uh, yeah, sure.
[inaudible]
[Minnie] So how come you drive such a ridiculously fancy car?
You a spy or something?
No, I'm a management consultant.
Oh my God, that is exactly what a spy would say!
[chuckles] Wow! Where to first?
[Minnie] Okay, today's deliveries are Newnham Centre,
- four pies. - Mm-hmm.
Then we go to Stratford Community Centre, three pies.
Tottenham Social Centre, four pies.
Edmonton Community Centre, three pies.
Buckhurst Hill Community, love it there, two pies.
Uh, Forest Gate Social Centre, five pies.
God's Own Social Centre, two pies.
All Souls Clubhouse, three pies.
East London Social Centre, finishing it all up
with 14 pies.
- You okay? - That's a lot of pies.
- That's a lot of pies.
[soft music playing]
Hello!
Oh, Minnie!
We haven't seen you on deliveries in a while.
[Minnie chuckles]
Who's this fella then?
This is Quinn. He's helping out for the day.
We have so many extra visitors on pie day.
everyone loves your pies.
Only decent hot meals some of them can afford.
Come on.
How you been, Mrs. Mentis? Your bunions any better?
Oh, I can't complain, but I do.
Everyone needs a hobby, don't they?
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm sure my Philip would have lived a little longer
if only he'd had more to complain about.
Right, Quince, if you could just put those pies
straight into the fridge.
No problem.
Is this the boyfriend Fleur mentioned?
Oh, he's, um, he's not my boyfriend.
Well, I've got a strapping chap like you in the building,
could you take a look at a blocked air vent?
I'm doin' the ladies hair next door and it's awful stuffy.
Lead the way.
[soft music playing]
Thanks.
Okay, Shirley, no cheating this time.
Seventeen. Where's my dancing queen?
[snarls]
- [growls] - [groans] Hoo, hoo, hoo!
[Minnie chuckles]
I'm sorry, the cat was beyond the call of duty.
I can't believe how savage they are.
I mean I-- I almost lost an arm.
[chuckles]
It's amazing what you do for these people.
Nobel Prize-winning stuff, pastry for pensioners.
And you're a lifeline to them.
And people need that connection in their day,
someone to pop in, check they're okay.
It's kind of wonderful.
Not that brilliant.
Not financially anyway.
Well, you need to start charging for cat collarin'.
- Oh, you want to kiss it better. - [both laugh]
I uh-- [chuckles]
I don't suppose you fancy a fortune cookie, do you?
I-- I deliver one with every pie.
Always strangely accurate,
like the universe knows exactly what to say.
Oh!
You will meet a relatively
helpful stranger who's terrible at washing up
and embarrassingly afraid of cats.
[both chuckle]
Can we get some real food now?
[clears throat] Well, lucky for you, Quinn Hamilton,
there's one large pie left.
Now if it's okay with you, I know someone who would love
to share this with us.
[soft music playing]
[Minnie] Bloody hell. Is this where you grew up?
It is.
Though I saw it from a mile away, but this feels like a different planet.
[scrapes shoes]
Hello?
- Someone there? - Mum.
Quinn.
I've, uh, brought someone to see you.
[Tara] Quinn, I wasn't expecting you.
Look at the state of me, I'm not fit for house calls.
[Quinn] You look great, Mum.
Uh, this is Minnie.
Hello.
The one that should have been called Quinn.
Minnie.
Minnie, gosh, aren't you pretty?
[chuckles]
Um, uh, we brought you a pie.
Oh. Thank you.
I thought of your mother many times over the years.
She helped me a great deal.
She told me.
She, uh, also mentioned you took the name she had planned for me.
No, no, that's not how it was.
I meant it as a tribute to her after the--
all the help she gave me.
I tried to find her afterwards, to thank her,
the hospital wouldn't give me her details.
Mum, you cannot get to her like that, Mum.
[Tara] I never wanted to be in the paper,
I didn't ask for that silly prize money.
It's okay, Mum. It's okay.
If only I could see her and explain.
Well, uh, wouldn't worry about it.
It was a long time ago.
Why don't I get her to give you a call?
I'm sure she'll tell you it's all forgotten.
Would you? Would you really?
Should we, uh, go through, Mum?
Yes. Yes.
Thank you.
Who is it that plays chess around here?
Oh, that's Quinn. Plays against himself.
Makes a move every time he's here.
County champion when he was eight.
[Minnie] I think I had this t-shirt.
We really could have been twins.
I really don't think Minnie wants to see this.
Let's put this in the oven, shall we?
Minnie is the most incredible chef.
People love her pies.
Oh, I'm sorry, I need to take this. do you mind?
Oh, of course, take your time.
Hello. Yeah, how's it going?
What?
Oh, come on, Leila, can't you ask him to do something?
- Darling, did you pick up my pills? - Yeah.
[Minnie] No, Leila, it's not alright!
[sighs] Yeah.
Yeah, alright, I'll speak to you later.
Is everything okay?
No, it's not okay.
The bank won't extend our loan, which basically means
our business is bust.
Well, surely there's a way.
New investors, a bridging loan.
Look, Quinn, I really appreciate your help today,
but you don't know anything about my situation.
I doubt you've ever had financial difficulties.
I mean look at this place.
- I'm-- - Don't touch it, don't touch it.
- Mum. - You might cut yourself.
- Quinn, there's broken glass. - [Quinn, overlapping speech]
Don't let her touch it! You'll cut yourself.
- It's fine, Mum. - You'll cut yourself.
[Quinn] Well, no one's gonna touch it, Mum.
- Please I think it's best you just leave. - She might cut herself.
Sorry.
[Tara sobs]
[Quinn] Come on, let's get you upstairs.
[door shuts]
[somber music playing]
[scratching]
[answering machine beeps]
[Quinn's dad] Quinn, it's Dad, I'm sorry it's taken me a while.
Okay, a4 to c3.
Now I realize that leaves my bishop wide open.
Listen, I know I said we'd finish the game in person,
but it looks like I'm not going to be back from New York
until Easter now.
I'm really sorry, son, but I--
I hope you're looking after your mother.
Remember, you are the man of the house now.
Oh, and a happy birthday.
Uh, we're at Elaine's family's for the holidays,
so nowhere near a post office unfortunately,
but I will bring you something back on my...
[chess pieces rattle]
[train whirring]
[tools clunking]
So you're ready to come back to the dark side?
Won't be for long, Dad.
Oh, don't worry, you'll always have a room here, Minnie Moo, always.
What are you gonna do with all your clocks then?
Don't worry about me, I've still got my workshop.
[Connie] Dinner's ready!
[sighs]
Quieter out there anyway.
[both chuckle]
[crockery clattering]
You're a foolhardy dreamer, just like your father.
Running businesses is not our world.
The system's set up so the rich get richer and the poor get screwed.
[Keith] Oh, there's no need to be so hard on her,
it's bad luck is all and tough climate.
[sighs] Oh, wait a second, I've just got to set that recorder
for Bake Off.
It's pie week, Minnie Moo.
You risk, you lose,
that's what I've learnt in this life.
You think I wanted to be a broke, unemployed loser
moving home in my thirties?
It's just hard for a mother to watch her child struggle.
And you seem to struggle more than most.
[clocks chime together]
Never guess who I got introduced to the other day.
Tara Hamilton.
I don't wanna hear that woman's name.
Apparently, you got this whole name stealing thing wrong.
I have no interest in dredging up the past.
Well, I'll get you the number, just in case
you change your mind.
Tara bleeding Hamilton.
[Greg] You'll be fine.
There are a million restaurants out there.
Do you know how many fussy, snobby,
testosterone-fuelled kitchens I've worked in?
I'm not going back to that.
It sounds like Leila's fault.
I mean, you were in charge of the baking, she was in charge of the finances.
You ran out of money, not dough.
[chuckles] It's quite funny.
Um, voice note, little joke, uh, money, dough,
pun pertaining to baking.
It wasn't her fault.
You said she spent a fortune on new ovens and the old ones are fine.
Yeah, well, they were temperamental.
Look, you need to get more product out there in less time.
It's simple business dynamics, you dump, you run.
Greg, I'm not gonna dump and run.
The whole thing is about valuable human interaction.
Exactly, valuable. Monetize it.
[sighs]
Look, I don't suppose you're going to help me
move the last of my furniture into storage this weekend, could you?
- Minnie. - Please. Please.
Look, Minnie, I don't wanna sound like a twat,
but I can't expend any more energy on your dramas right now.
[scoffs] My dramas?
God, I'm so sorry, Greg, I didn't realize my life was
so exhausting for you.
It's okay.
I appreciate that, but hey, it's okay.
I'm gonna go for a run, get my endorphins pumping,
get my sweat on.
Um, you're resourceful, you're plucky, you'll be fine.
Ciao, bella. [chuckles]
[scoffs]
Ciao, bella?
What the fuck?
[cheering, laughing]
The conga!
[laughing]
What the hell is going on?
Minnie, you would not believe it.
It's a Christmas miracle, just not at Christmas.
We've had a huge pie order, all paid up front.
Oh, yes!
Bigger than the multiple orgasm I had with Harry Styles
in his yacht in Mexico.
Uh, who from?
Who cares? We're in the money!
[laughs]
I don't think we should be dancing, we should be baking.
There's always time for dancing.
[laughing]
[cheers]
Bev!
What did you do that for?
- What a mess! - Fleur did it, too!
Money is fine to throw in the air, everyone knows that.
Not flour, Bev.
[funky music playing]
[elevator dings]
- Hello! - [office employee] Hi!
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
You ordered 200 pies?
Uh, are you completely insane?
And I guess we'll pick this up first thing Monday morning.
Thank you.
[beep]
Welcome, Minnie.
I don't need you to bail me out, Quinn.
I'm not some charity case.
I really like the pies.
And I thought my colleagues and clients would like them, too.
Massively undercharging, by the way.
Hmm. Well, luckily, I didn't set up my business
so I can feed rich city boys lunch.
[Quinn] You know what makes you walk slightly off center?
[Minnie] What does?
That massive chip you keep carrying around on your shoulder.
[scoffs]
[Quinn] Look, your pies are good, you clearly have a market,
but you're not makin' any money.
You need to diversify your client base
and raise the prices.
That is unbelievably sweet of you,
but I don't need you to management consultancy me.
I'm not some damsel in distress looking
for a knight with a shining, bleeding credit card!
[soft quirky music playing]
You have a chef that burns the pies, a driver that loses the van,
an MD too stubborn to compromise, even if it means losing her business.
[grunts]
I usually charge £500 an hour.
You can have that summation for free.
Thanks, but I'm not sure I need advice
from a spoiled public schoolboy
whose trust fund probably bought him this business.
You have no idea about my life,
and this whole hard done by working-class routine
is deeply unattractive.
I don't need you to find me attractive.
Stop talking, Fleur, we're leaving!
[Leila] It's like he's your sexy nemesis or somethin'.
Who's sexy?
Minnie's love twin.
He's not my love twin!
Oh God, I was so horrible!
I don't know what came over me.
Well, I'm glad he's got money to burn, he bought us time.
Right, I'm off to see the bank man again.
Want me to come?
Will you tell him you put our prices up
and use cheaper ingredients?
Then no.
[grunts] Quick game?
Yeah, why not?
[grunting]
Ooh! Ian, you've not been practicing.
Yeah, I know. I get you next time.
So, I'm gonna ask Leila to marry me.
[yells]
What?
- Yeah. - Do you have a ring?
Yeah.
Oh my God, I know exactly how you need to do it!
And, I wanted to ask you something.
I know it's not my place,
and I hate to put you on the spot,
but would you consider giving up the business?
What?
It's killing her, Min, okay?
She's so stressed all the time.
And this latest order, it's just a Band-Aid
on a much bigger problem.
Well, we've made it work for four years.
Yeah, because you work nearly every single hour
of every single day,
and because you pay yourselves basically nothing.
When was the last time you looked at the accounts?
Did she even tell you that she'd been offered a job
at a fashion start-up?
No.
She takes it on all herself.
And she just hates the idea of letting you down.
I'm not saying this to be a shit-stirrer, Min.
I really-- I'm not, but...
It's like you know, when Sonic the Hedgehog
goes into invincibility mode?
You know, the music goes all up-tempo,
and he's in his little bubble, and he's knocking everything
out of the park.
Yes.
Okay, so, I wanna be her invincibility mode.
I wanna shield her from the bad stuff.
I love her, and I hate seeing her like this.
I don't know. [sniffles]
Everything's such a mess right now.
Well, when life gets glitchy,
maybe you just need to press reset.
[soft music playing]
[sighs]
[types]
[squawks]
[types]
[ding]
I just-- I don't understand why.
You're never gonna champion my invincibility bubble, Greg.
Is this about me not helping you move,
'cause I can contribute to the cost of a man with a van.
I hope we can stay friends.
Well, friendly acquaintances. Ciao.
[Greg] I just got nominated for young journalist of the year.
Do you really think you're gonna do better than me?
Don't think you're using my Peloton bike anymore.
Or my Netflix login. And you can unfollow me on Strava!
[chuckles]
[ding]
[flickers]
[slurps]
[Minnie] Humble pie?
I wanted to say I'm sorry for screaming
at you the other day like a crazed banshee in front of your colleagues.
Well, I'm sorry for trying to be your knight
with a shiny credit card.
Are you drunk?
Hopefully. [munches]
Wow!
Your pastries are positively the most perfect thing
I've ever tasted.
Thanks, um, so, sorry, wh-- Why are you drinking alone in your office?
Lucy dumped me, which I expected.
And she posted a song about it,
which I didn't.
♪ A man who can't commit ♪
♪ Is like a bird who cannot fly ♪
♪ A man who can't commit ♪
♪ Is like a clown who cannot cry ♪
♪ And I was chasing waterfalls ♪
♪ Trying to swim upstream ♪
♪ Waiting, waiting, waiting For this nightmare ♪
♪ To become a dream ♪
At least she doesn't mention your name.
♪ Quinn, Quinn, Quinn Hamilton ♪
Wow! Uh, who does that?
Apparently, break-up videos are a thing now.
How about you?
Funny Greg still tickling your funny bone?
No, I broke up with him.
Wasn't gonna do a break-up video, though.
[laughs]
What happened?
Well, I realized...
...I have to be with someone who wants all of me,
not just the parts that suit them.
Someone who'll be there for me when I need them
and who makes me feel like there's no one else
in the world I'd rather be with.
Guess I wanna find my soulmate. [chuckles]
You do know how unlikely that is.
That you'll find that one person who's destined for you.
Not everything's about statistics.
Some people have other commitments.
You can't always be there.
I think you can be, for the right person.
[sighs] Anyway, um, your turn.
Spill your guts, Hamilton.
You know, I-- I've never ended a relationship.
I just disengage.
It's like drivin' a car.
You just take both hands off the steering wheel.
It's just a matter of time.
[phone buzzes]
[sniffles]
Hello?
Yeah, one second.
Shit!
You alright?
My Tinder date's outside.
Oh, um...
I can tell her to go.
Oh, God, no, I mean, uh,
don't-- don't-- don't do that.
Um, whiskey and Tinder, though, great combo.
Really good for rebounding.
Not-- not that you're rebounding necessarily.
It's just, uh, I mean that--
That-- that-- that-- she-- she could be your soulmate,
standing outside for-- for we-- no?
I'll be right down.
So beneath that spiky exterior, Minnie Cooper, like the car,
is really just a diehard romantic
searching for a soulmate.
I really regret telling you that.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Do I smell like whiskey?
[clears throat]
Only, um, like you bathed in it.
Bollocks. [sniffs]
- [wrapper rustles] - [cookie crackles]
[Minnie] "You will overcome difficult times."
[scrunches]
[cookie crackles]
[scrunches]
[door chime rings]
[Leila] Hey.
You wanted to talk?
Yeah.
I've been going through the accounts.
When were you going to tell me?
What?
Just how much of your own money you've put in to keep us afloat?
It was just a loan to cover the shortfall.
You might never get it back.
Babe, you know, I would never have agreed to you risking your life savings.
I believe in doing what it takes. Unlike you, hardly compromising.
Okay, well, I've done the maths.
If we give our notice now, we can get out of our lease
for the rest of the year.
We sell the equipment, we sell the van,
I can give you back everything you put in.
No!
Leila! Look at you, you're exhausted.
Let's just pull the plug while we can.
You wanna to throw away everything we've built?
Uh, well, it's not like we haven't tried.
Trust me, we can turn this around.
Some things just aren't meant to be.
Oh, yeah, Minnie Cooper School of Business,
where you find your answer in a fucking fortune cookie.
- Okay. - If you do this, I will never forgive you.
And don't think I'm gonna be here to help build your next dream.
Or to listen to you complain about not having made anything
of your sad little life.
Hey, I like my sad little life!
And you did spend too much on the ovens!
I don't think she took that very well.
Fuck!
[somber music playing]
[soft music playing]
Just call her.
We ain't the bleeding Kardashians.
No one's invested in this decades-long grudge match
except you women.
[sighs]
Connie Cooper.
You look just the same as I remember you.
You look less sweaty, less pregnant.
Won't you come in?
[scrapes shoes]
[sighs]
So which part of this did my prize money buy?
Shall we have tea?
I'll make us a pot of Earl Grey with lemon.
I find it takes the bitterness out.
[soft music playing]
[slurps]
You didn't have any more then? After your boy?
No, I-- I was pregnant twice.
But... my husband said I shouldn't be so upset about it.
That they weren't real babies yet.
No one has the right to tell you how upset to be.
With the second, I fell in the bathroom.
I went into labor at six months.
I was here, alone.
Lost a lot of blood.
You know whose voice it was I heard
when I was half delusional?
Yours, telling me to breathe like a hippo.
[sighs]
I did try and find you.
I only gave him that name because I wanted--
You don't need to explain.
I shouldn't have been so upset about it. Everyone told me not to.
It was the final straw in a run at bad luck.
Oh.
[train whirs]
[cans clunking]
You got enough cans?
Corner shop had a sale on cans.
One man's best before date's another man's dinner.
Everything's goin' up,
I don't know how we're supposed to make things stretch.
Oh. Leila will come round, love.
Don't know if she will, though.
Never thought like this before.
[scrunching]
These things have a way of workin' themselves out.
I didn't speak to your father for three weeks
after one of his failed ventures.
But you get past it. You have to.
Oh, you need to look after yourself, Minnie.
What did you do for fun before you worked every other day?
[water rippling]
♪ Would you take a seat Maybe stay a while ♪
♪ And nearly good and ready ♪
♪ Hang your jacket up Put your bawley down ♪
♪ I've been feeling not so steady ♪
♪ Even when the rain began to Wash away the marks you made ♪
♪ In the garden furniture ♪
Is that Minnie?
♪ We'd tidy up his pots and do the weeds ♪
♪ And fill the trays with seeds ♪
♪ We'd found together ♪
♪ Would you pass a slice Just a half is nice ♪
♪ We can talk about the weather ♪
♪ Whether he's the one Another mother's son ♪
- Hello, stranger. - Hello.
I brought you a little food from the outside world.
Oh my God.
Come on in.
♪ ...wash away the marks you made ♪
♪ They'll fade, and blur And if he's kind ♪
♪ You'll find a place to plunge yourself ♪
♪ With sunshine on your face ♪
♪ The breeze behind you ♪
♪ Everything comes round ♪
♪ Everyone gets found ♪
♪ And we'll wander on together ♪
Excuse me, that's my towel.
Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?
I mean, I was swimming.
Now I'm getting told off by you again.
Well, that's my towel.
You mean this towel?
Not a chance, got mine all wet.
[grunts] I'll take your nice, dry one. Thanks.
[Quinn] So is this just like a standard Sunday morning activity for you?
- Stealing towels from hapless swimmers? - [Minnie] Every Sunday.
[both chuckle]
So do you think you could take a break from your stealing spree
and maybe grab some breakfast with me?
I could do breakfast.
At least until your next Tinder date turns up.
[chuckles] Ouch.
[panting, squealing]
- Hello. - [both chuckle]
Oh.
So, uh, how's business going?
[birds chirping in distance]
We had to close.
Sorry.
Let's not talk about work.
You'll probably start tryin' to charge me an hourly rate
for your insights.
Fine.
I don't want to unleash angry Minnie again.
[scoffs]
I mean not now that we're friends.
Oh, we're friends, are we?
[both chuckle]
[soft music playing]
[water splashing]
[phone dings]
[chopping]
[Quinn] I can't believe you love Star Wars.
What, because I'm a girl?
No, because you can't love it if you lose Han Solo over Luke.
It's Luke's story! It starts with him and it ends with him.
Well, Luke's the heart, but Han Solo's the soul.
I mean without Han Solo, you don't get Chewbacca.
You don't get the love story with Leia. You don't get...
Cheers.
[speaks indistinctly]
[Quinn] Whoa.
What? Get back here!
- [Minnie screams] - [Quinn] Get back here, you!
- [Minnie] No way! - So you just meet up to swim?
No snogging?
No underwater groping?
No, we just swim, and talk, and have coffee on the heath.
So have you shagged her yet?
[grunts]
No, we're just friends.
- You don't have friends who are girls. - I have.
I've had friends who are girls.
Name one.
Sophie Ridgway, 6'4". I was friends with her.
Yeah, before you shagged her.
[grunts]
Oh.
[Fleur] I know that face.
I invented that face.
Trust me, I'm not his type.
And you know, even if I was, I have zero interest
in jumping into anything right now.
Why do men have to catch up playing sport?
I feel like women get to catch up over a relaxing coffee.
Possibly pastries.
Jonesy, you suggested tennis.
Oh.
So what's wrong with this Minnie chick?
Nothing.
I mean it's great. She's smart.
She's funny.
I really like her.
Being single is like my boat on this still lake
with no one else's shit to unsettle me.
And I can talk to her about stuff. Real stuff.
Like we chat for hours, but it feels like no time at all.
Sonia talks to me for five minutes, it feels like hours.
You can bob around on boring lakes when you're 50.
Right now you need to get that tight little boat
of yours back on the high seas.
Ride some sexy waves.
Look, if I cross the line, I'll ruin it.
I always ruin it.
That's true.
Sonia thinks you should do therapy.
She also thinks we should have a threesomes. Did I mention that?
I'm happy with things the way they are.
You're just saying that.
You like him, he's friend-zoned you.
Red flag, red flag, big fucking red flag.
I know you're secretly hoping for more.
She'll be secretly hoping for more.
Women are always secretly hoping for more.
I'm not hoping for more.
Why can't I be friends with a funny...
- Oh! - ...sweet...
[grunts]
...thoughtful, intelligent, handsome guy?
Without... [sighs]
- [grunts] - Whoa!
Oh. Fuck.
[groans]
Without everyone assuming I'm hoping for more.
[grunts]
So should I tell Sonia it's a no to the threesome?
Sex ruins relationships.
- Come on. - [grunts]
- Look at the state of you. - Otherwise pretty even match.
Have you spoken to Leila?
I tried, but I don't think she can forgive me
for pulling the plug.
I can't compute you guys not being friends.
Well, just as well I have my new swimming friend.
If you're not repulsed by the idea
of licking his ball sack, then he's not your friend.
Morning.
- [Quinn] Would you fancy a lick? - Sorry, what?
Um, no, I'm good.
Thanks.
Uh, what were we talking about?
- My mum. - Right.
Um, has she always had such difficult time?
Well, she's always suffered with anxiety. Dad left.
Got ten times worse.
She struggled leavin' the house.
Petrified of intruders.
Tried therapists, doctors, carers.
She only wants me.
Nah, you know, I shouldn't complain.
People have much bigger problems.
You know, once I said, "Enough,
I'm not coming."
I found her at the bottom of the staircase with a fractured ankle.
All because I left her at home, alone.
What kind of monster does that make me?
[birds chirping in background]
I-- I'm-- I'm sorry.
You really don't need to hear all this.
Don't be daft. I want to.
Look, I'm sorry I was such a dick to you
when we first met, assuming your life must be...
...easy.
[birds chirping in background]
You know, there is um, if--
If you have time, there's something you could help me with.
Yeah.
You sure?
- Sure. - [both chuckle]
- [horse snickers] - [Minnie] So, let me get this straight.
You want to adopt an Alpaca?
[Quinn] Yep.
Mum finds it so hard to get out.
So every year for her birthday, I go somewhere she might enjoy.
Take her through the video.
[laughs]
She can't get out and about in London.
At least I can bring a little bit of London to her.
That's a really sweet idea.
So...
[goat bleating in background]
Do you mind takin' a video?
Yeah, I'd love to.
[birds chirping]
[squeaks]
[bleats]
Happy birthday, Mum.
So, this year, I'm adopting you an Alpaca.
I really like this guy. His name's Cookie.
And I think he kind of looks like great-uncle Harry.
What do you think? I think it's the hair.
Minnie likes that one over there,
but he smells a little musty.
[bleats]
Sorry.
Can you remember when you took me to London Zoo that time?
Oh, I think I was about six or seven.
And we-- we saw that penguin fall over
and took his friend down at the same time.
You laughed so hard
and then felt so bad about the laughing.
I remember that day so clearly.
Well, I love you, Mum. And uh, happy birthday.
It was great.
[snickers]
[bleating]
- Thank you. - [Minnie] Thank you.
[staff member] Thank you.
See you later.
[both chuckle]
So what happens now? Your mum and Cookie become pen pals?
Ooh, Alpaca pals.
- Palpacas. - [both laugh]
Here you go.
[soft music playing]
I had fun today.
Yeah.
Me, too.
I-- Actually I have to head off.
Yeah.
- I'll see you sometime soon. - Mm-hmm.
Bye.
[speaks indistinctly]
[phone rings]
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
[sighs]
You picked up.
God, I'm so embarrassed! I've been so stupid.
[car approaching]
Maybe I just imagined this connection between us.
I doubt you imagined it.
So much easier when I didn't like him.
When he was just this annoying, arrogant, name-stealing Quinn.
I missed you. [sniffles]
I'm sorry, I didn't handle things well at all.
No, I'm sorry that I've been distant.
I have been meaning to call.
It's taken me a while, but I can see now how stressed
and depressed I was.
You were right, Minnie, one of us needed to call it.
Come here.
I just hate failin'.
I spent so much money on that kitchen.
We didn't fail.
We baked a shedload of pies, we made a lot of people happy.
I'd say that was a great kitchen.
- [chuckles] - [Ian] Ah!
Player one returns.
I think we're gonna need more ice cream.
- Hey. - Have you proposed yet?
No, I was waiting for you guys to patch things up.
Listen, I need your help.
I have no idea how she'd want me to do this.
I know exactly how she'd want you to do it.
[soft happy music playing]
Leila, I love you.
And if this is the completely insane idea of a proposal that you want,
then, well, this is what you shall have, so--
[clears throat]
Leila Jones, would you do me the immense,
immense honor of becoming my wife?
What the bloody fucknuts is all this?
[Minnie] This is how you wanted to be proposed to.
You know, you told me about it when you were 16. Remember?
It was a seminal conversation.
When I'm proposed to, I want it to be this huge,
epic production.
He'll dress as a knight and ride through the park
on a unicorn, surrounded by singing animals,
and merpeople, and all these magical creatures.
A real life fairy tale!
There'll be a picnic with all my favorite food
and I'll wear a massive Cinderella dress.
The whole Disney fantasy. [chuckles]
I don't remember that.
What?
It-- it was a seminal conversation.
She doesn't remember.
Do you know how long it took for me to make this costume?
[Minnie] You said you wanted the Disney characters.
The dress.
You specifically mentioned a unicorn.
You did all of this over some random conversation Minnie remembers?
Yeah, but look, a-- a-- are you gonna marry me or not?
Of course I am, you lunatic!
- [laughs] - [cheering, clapping]
Oh!
It was a seminal conversation.
[laugh]
It's funny when you think about love, romance,
marriage, all the effort of it,
when we're all really just blobs of meat on bone,
stuck on a rock, hurtling round the sun,
towards our inevitable annihilation and ultimate insignificance.
[phone buzzes]
Mum?
What's wrong?
Tara begged me not to call an ambulance and I couldn't get through to Quinn.
What are you wearing? She's calmer now, but she was hysterical
when I called. Can you tell him that she took some of these?
Um, fine. Well, I didn't know you two were talking.
Just because you're living with us, doesn't mean
I need to tell you all my comings and goings, madam.
You see a house like this, you think people got it all.
Sometimes it's the icing coverin' over all the cracks in the cake.
- Where are you going? - I'm on shift in half hour!
- Don't-- - [door opens]
- Hi. - [Connie] Quinn.
- Connie. - Hello, Tara.
It's Minnie, I'm Quinn's friend.
Quinn.
[Quinn] Mum.
Oh.
You okay, Mum?
- Oh. - It's me.
Mum said she took some of these.
I don't know. I...
She just needs to lay down in a dark room for a few hours.
I'm sorry.
It's alright. It's alright, Mum.
It's alright.
[Tara] I'm sorry.
It's okay, Mum. Don't say sorry.
Please, don't go.
Come on, Mum.
Yourself all worked up again.
[Tara speaks indistinctly]
Thank you.
I like your mum.
[chuckles] Is that a Mermaid outfit?
Yeah. Uh, look, um, I better go.
Uh, I don't think they let mythical creatures
on the bus after dark.
[chuckles]
Whose go is it?
White.
Check.
[soft music playing]
Wanna finish the game?
Alright, but if you lose,
you have to help me move house tomorrow.
I would, but...
...I never lose.
[police siren wailing in distance]
[trunk whirs]
Ho-ho, who's this little one?
That's Lucky.
I did have two, but well, unlucky died.
I'm worried she's a bit lonely.
Become a bit needy lately.
Started readin' a lot of poetry.
Wow.
Thanks for today.
[sighs]
What are friends for?
Um, listen, I don't suppose you fancy a drink, do you?
It's a housewarming gift from Leila.
I'm driving, but...
...I'm sure one glass wouldn't hurt.
One glass comin' up.
[both laugh]
I'm sorry... about what happened at the farm.
I got scared because usually I disappoint people,
hurt them, lose them from my life.
What makes you think it would be the same with me?
Because it's always the same with me.
You do know this whole tortured loner routine
is a bit out of fashion.
[chuckles]
Yeah, the whole "poor me, I had a tough time,
I don't know how to love."
See, no one actually writes men like that anymore.
Well, I'm sorry for being such an outdated character trope.
[both laugh]
What about the trope of the kooky heroine who,
for some reason, can't see how incredible she is?
How beautiful,
how kind,
funny.
Is this a bad idea?
Not unless it's another palpaca moment.
[both chuckle]
[Minnie and Quinn grunting]
Yes.
[Minnie] Oh, yes.
[speaks indistinctly]
[both chuckle]
- [Connie] Minnie. - [pants]
[Connie] You in there?
- [Quinn grunts] - [shushing]
[Connie] We've come to see your new place,
brought you some essentials.
[Keith] Your mum's made you a quiche.
[Connie] Minnie, why are you on the floor?
That carpet won't have been deep cleaned!
Keith, I think she's collapsed, had a seizure. Knock the door in.
No, no, I'm, uh, fine.
Just stretching from, uh, from bringing up all the boxes!
[pants]
[Connie] We brought loo roll.
There's nothing worse than being caught short
in an unfamiliar environment.
Oh!
[police siren wailing in background]
Your father thought we should check out your new neighborhood.
Not as nice as your last one, is it?
- Well, that bolt, it's not good. - Hmm.
Hmm, you really need like a double on that,
a good chain, you know?
There's a lot of good stuff. I could help you out with that.
Yeah.
[Connie] Keith.
- Keith. - Hmm?
- Keith. - Oh, oh!
I brought you a little housewarmin' gift, Minnie Moo.
Oh. [chuckles]
[grunts]
Now you'll feel right at home.
[chuckles]
- Thanks. - It's heavy.
[speaks indistinctly]
- [police siren wailing in background] - [bubble wrap rustling]
- Just leave it. - Yeah.
[gift bag rustling]
Your mother's doing better, isn't she, Quinn?
I'm tryin' to encourage her out into the garden.
You're a great influence on her, Connie.
She listens to you.
I have to go. I'm afraid.
It's been lovely to see the both of you.
But you haven't finished your tea yet.
I don't think the tea's worth staying for, love.
[sighs]
Look, I can get them to leave.
Look, I really need to go.
I'll call you later, yeah?
[soft music playing]
[car whooshes]
- [fireworks explode] - [clock ticks]
[crowd cheering]
- [Jonesy] You alright? - [Quinn] Alright, Jonesy?
Glad your mum let you out then.
Don't mind me.
Just hiding from Lemming o'clock on the dance floor.
Lemming o'clock?
Lemmings all copy each other, don't they?
Everyone kisses the person standing next to them
at midnight just because that's what everyone else is doing.
Um, apparently, there are 30 different species of lemmings.
I saw them on this nature documentary once.
Good knowledge. I love a lemming fact.
[both chuckle]
Maybe the lemmings were onto something.
[partygoer] Alright, then, everybody. Here we go!
Though kissing someone isn't something you should do
just because it's midnight.
Or the beginning of the New Year.
Or because you're dressed as a pirate.
[partygoers] Five, four, three, two, one.
[fireworks exploding]
[partygoers cheering in background]
[phone ringing]
Ugh, I've-- I've got to get this.
I'll be just a minute.
Please, don't go anywhere, lemming girl. [chuckles]
Mum!
[Tara] Quinn, you have to come home.
There's someone breaking into the house.
Mum, there's no one breakin' in. Okay? There's not.
Can't I just have one night?
I've met a girl. I think I really like her.
[Tara] Oh, be careful who you give your heart to, Quinn.
I don't want to see you get hurt.
Taxi for Hamilton.
[fireworks exploding in background]
[indistinct chatter in background]
[birds chirping in distance]
Ready?
Come on.
[soft music playing]
Come on. It's lovely out here.
Now, come on. You can do this.
That's it.
That's it. Just breathe.
Well done.
Come on. These little fellas need us to plant them.
Come on.
That's it. I've got you. I've got you, fine.
Yeah, well done! You've gotten out!
[Tara] Oh, Connie.
[Connie] Isn't it lovely? Look at your garden.
Isn't it pretty?
[Tara chuckles]
So, love twin's fully ghosted you then, Minnie?
Yeah, looks that way.
Maybe he really is busy with work.
Or maybe he's gay.
Or maybe he's working undercover for the Russians.
Happens way more than you think.
Or like he's probably just a bit of a shit.
Ghosting is so triggering for me.
Now I try to ghost people before they ghost me.
[Leila] Let's get cake.
Everything looks better with cake.
[soft music playing]
[Connie] I tried to get Minnie into gardening,
but with her luck, we soon got root rot and blight.
[chuckles]
Connie, do you think sometimes you nurture this idea
of Minnie's bad luck more than you nurture Minnie?
Just an observation.
Hmm.
Old habits, I guess.
To new habits.
Neither of us is winning Mother of the Year.
Hmm.
Do you think sometimes these sticks spend so much time
supporting the tomatoes,
they miss out on their chance to be sticks?
[both laughing]
- [yells] - Oh!
[both laughing]
That was so...
When did you last get a decent night's sleep?
I'm fine, Mum.
I'll be fine.
Just call her.
It's not that simple.
I can't be what she wants me to be.
I think you can.
Now, let me look after you for once.
I'm sorry that I always ask so much of you.
That I often got it wrong.
Oh, it's alright. It's okay, Mum.
It's okay.
Alright. [sighs]
[water splashing]
[clicks key]
[water splashing]
[pasta machine squeaks]
[mail slot cover shuts]
[pasta machine squeaks]
[glass clinking]
[Leila] Calm down, everyone. Calm down.
Finally, to Minnie, who took it upon herself
to plan our incredible fairy tale engagement,
as well as the catering for today.
She's always puttin' herself out for others,
and I feel so lucky to call her my best friend.
So let's raise a glass to Minnie.
[all] To Minnie.
To Minnie.
Enjoy your pies, everyone.
[glasses clinking]
You know, this would never have happened to a Quinn Cooper.
This-- this is all Minnie.
♪ Something came and got me In the spring ♪
♪ And when I see a clinging vine ♪
♪ I feel I wanna pling ♪
♪ There's something in the atmosphere ♪
♪ That makes me wanna sing ♪
- ♪ Something came and got me... ♪ - [Minnie] Bev, you okay?
Ah, couldn't be better, Minnie.
- You know, I joined Extinction Rebellion. - Oh!
I spent the weekend chained to the gates of Parliament,
dressed as a sea cow. Oh!
♪ I can hear my heartbeat kicking ♪
♪ And I wonder what it was ♪
Come on, time to dance!
♪ Feeling so romantic ♪
♪ Picking petals, asking daises... ♪
I wish Leila would let me book a cello for this.
This has been the best day.
I want you to be happy.
I am happy.
Happy enough.
If you're still thinking about him, maybe it's worth the risk.
You never know.
♪ There's something in the atmosphere That makes me wanna sing ♪
[over headphones] ♪ Something came and got me ♪
♪ In the spring ♪
What are you doing here?
Oh, you didn't respond to my card.
It's because I don't wanna see you.
Just give me five minutes, please?
[sighs]
Can I come in?
No, Quinn, you can't come in.
Look, I know I hurt you.
I'm sorry.
My whole life, I-- I've had this crippling fear
of bein' needed.
But with you, Minnie, I've realized that I'm the one
that needs you.
I-- I know I don't deserve a second chance--
A third chance. No, you don't.
I thought you'd be better off without me.
And maybe you would. But my feelings for you haven't changed.
I miss you. I really, really miss you.
I said I might screw up again.
But I think I'm in love with you.
As crazy as that might sound.
[sniffles] No, it doesn't sound crazy.
I, um...
I felt the same.
Felt?
Look, things have changed for me, Quinn. Thanks for coming.
C-- can we be friends, at least?
[sighs]
No, I don't think we can.
It's just not worth the risk.
Uh, just-- just-- one-- one second.
I thought Lucky could maybe use a friend.
[squeaks]
What's his name?
You can decide.
You know, someone once told me
Quinn was a lucky name.
[train whirring]
Doing a lovely job there, Keith.
I miss my old customers.
Poor Mrs. Mentis died last week and I didn't even know she was ill.
Oh!
You did your best, love.
Not sure I did, though.
I actually had this idea the other day.
How I'd balance the books if I could do it all again.
So every pie bought by a big business could buy a pie for someone in need.
Corporate social responsibility.
It's a great idea.
Thanks, but it's about six months too late.
Is it too late?
I need seed money.
You can't go to investors unless you've got
a bit of money to put in yourself.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, that's what I would say.
Bloody hell, has Mum stopped taking her cynical pills?
- What? - Alien body snatchers, that's my theory.
- Keith? - Yeah?
- I heard that. - No, you didn't.
I just said how lovely you were 'cause you were so positive.
No, you weren't. You said alien--
You said that my body is snatched by aliens
because I'm not being cynical.
- No, I love your little alien body. - I'm allowed change.
[clock ticking in background]
Do you remember buying this for me, Minnie Moo?
First car boot, spent all your pocket money
buyin' a busted clock for your own dad.
- You fixed it up pretty nicely, too. - Huh.
[clocks chiming]
It's worth a fair bit now that I've got it working.
Quite a few of them are.
Are you kidding?
- Does Mum know? - Does she heck?
She would have made me sell them years ago.
But if you need this seeding money for your business plan--
No. No way, Dad, no.
You can't sell the clocks for me.
Listen, I know your mum always felt like, you know,
someone had it in for her and you can't change the tide.
It can be hard to let that go.
But with family,
you've always got someone lookin' out for you.
It's okay to accept a little help once in a while.
You can't always do it alone.
Once you learn that, you can do anything.
[chuckles]
I believe this is the perfect way
for Coke Steel Capital to demonstrate
just how seriously you take your corporate responsibility.
All of the pies will be delivered by people
from the local community
who have struggled with unemployment.
This is a sustainable, economically sound way
of giving something back and really making a difference.
Plus, they're really bloody tasty. [chuckles]
Very impressive, Miss Cooper.
Thank you.
[soft music playing]
[laughing]
[messages ding]
[squeaking]
[message dings]
♪ Quinn, Quinn, Quinn Hamilton ♪
I could just call him being friendly.
Wish him a happy birthday for tomorrow.
He's not gonna pick up. He'll be out.
- Everyone's out on New Year's Eve. - [Quinn] Minnie, hi.
Oh, hi.
I'm really glad you called.
I was just calling to wish you a happy birthday
for tomorrow.
I've been thinking about you b-- because it's--
[chuckles] Because it's New Year's Eve.
Look, Minnie, I'm about to get on a party boat with some friends.
We're leaving Tower Bridge in one hour.
Why don't you come?
I-- I-- I-- I can't.
[Quinn] Let's just spend New Year's Eve together.
I'm not asking for anything more.
I can't tonight.
Um, maybe-- look, maybe we could grab breakfast together soon
or something.
[Quinn] You still hiding from the jinx?
No.
Yeah. Um, look, I was just calling to, um...
[laughs] I'm in my pajamas.
Okay, well, I'm not sure. But if that's the case, then--
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No phones tonight.
Your mum needs to let you have some fun.
Hello? Hell--
Quinn?
Damn it! What's he not sure about?
That-- that he can't deal with another neurotic woman
in his life that can't leave the house?
I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't go out in my pajamas.
- Think, guinea pigs, think! - [squeaks]
No. Wrong.
I can decide.
I'm going out.
I'm going out!
The New Year's Eve jinx does not exist!
And he is worth the risk!
- ♪ Home ♪ - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
♪ Home ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
[Minnie] Excuse me! Excuse me!
Hello. Excuse me, would you let me on?
What?
I just really... Oh, come on, please!
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
♪ Home, my baby's takin' me home ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
Sorry, folks. Short delay as we change drivers.
How long's that gonna take?
Bus will be delayed here for ten minutes
while we regulate the service on this route.
No, no, no, no, no. C-- can we-- can we just have a--
An unregulated service?
Shaylene's a stickler for regulating the service.
Okay, Shaylene, you've seen Sleepless in Seattle, right?
Where Meg Ryan has to get to the top
of the Empire State Building to meet Tom Hanks?
Well, I'm Meg Ryan and the Empire State Building
is Tower Bridge now.
My boat leaves in 15 minutes
and the man I love is on that boat. If I don't get there,
he's not gonna know that I've changed, that I'm not the cynical, superstitious,
bitter person I was this time last year!
Now, I know what you're gonna say, I could give him a call tomorrow,
but I don't wanna start the year without telling him how I feel.
I am begging you, I cannot lose him again.
You know that sayin',
you can be waiting ages for a bus and then three come all at once?
Well, that happens
when someone doesn't regulate the service.
[somber music playing]
I felt that way about someone once.
Roger, moved to Amsterdam.
Never got to tell him how I felt.
[sighs] Off the bus, Shaylene.
[Shaylene] You what?
- I'm pullin' a double. - Mmm.
This is now a non-stop, unregulated service to Tower Bridge.
[cheering]
Let's get this lady where she needs to go.
[cheering]
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
- ♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪ - What the hell was that?
♪ My baby's takin' me ♪
♪ Takin' me, takin' me, takin' me, takin' me ♪
♪ Home ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
You call Roger, Hamish! Tell him how you feel!
♪ Takin' me, takin' me Takin' me, takin' me ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me, home ♪
♪ Home ♪
♪ My baby's takin' me home ♪
Oh, no, no, no, no!
[pants]
[cheering, laughing]
[soft music playing]
[flicks switch]
Oh God, holy shit!
I thought you were a burglar!
The front door was wide open.
I came to check if you were okay.
Yeah, I'm fine. I--
You're supposed to be on a boat!
Well, I didn't go.
Oh.
I came to tell you that if you wanted to stay in
and hide away from the jinx, then...
...I'll stay in and hide away with you.
[fireworks exploding in distance]
Oh, what time is it?
[chuckles]
- We made it! - Ha-ha!
[crowd] ...eight, seven, six,
five, four, three,
two, one. Happy New Year!
- [fireworks exploding] - [crowd cheering]
Happy birthday, Mini Cooper. Like the car.
Happy birthday, name stealer.
Leila has this question she asks every New Year.
Where do you wanna be this time next year?
Oh, with any luck...
right here with you, by myself.
I don't care where we are...
as long as I'm kissing you...
at lemming o'clock. [chuckles]
Wait.
What did you just say?
At lemming o'clock.
Lemming girl.
It's you.
[soft music playing]
It was you.
Oh, you were my first kiss.
[fireworks exploding in background]
It was always you.
Always.
♪ I love the face that you make When you're dancin' ♪
♪ Can't look away, can't quit starin' ♪
♪ Nobody does it quite like you ♪
♪ Swinging your arms around Like you invented that move ♪
♪ You're a vision, you're a vision ♪
♪ My head is spinnin' ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ You just see right through ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ And I'd die a million times To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ To keep you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ I memorized all the words That you didn't say ♪
♪ It's my favorite game To fill in the blanks ♪
♪ Nobody does it quite like you ♪
♪ Keep 'em guessing, all these questions ♪
♪ Stuck in your loop ♪
♪ It's never ending, never ending ♪
♪ My head is spinning ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ You just see right through ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ And I'd die a million times To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ To keep you ♪
♪ Yeah, I'd die a million times ♪
♪ To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ Yeah, I'd die a million times ♪
♪ To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ Yeah, I'd die a million times ♪
♪ To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ You just see right through ♪
♪ I can't even hide it ♪
♪ Baby, the thought of you Feels like I'm dyin' ♪
♪ And I'd die a million times To keep you on my mind ♪
♪ To keep you ♪
♪ You ♪