1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,600 The following programme contains strong language 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,000 and strong scenes of drug use from the outset. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,160 Their Way 6 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,360 Yeah. OK, well, the thing about this is... 7 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,920 'How to talk about memories. 8 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,320 Very unreliable. 9 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,080 What did actually happen? 10 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,440 Flashes mostly. Joy, catastrophe. 11 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,920 How to describe a life when it never stops slipping 12 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,720 like sand between your fingers. 13 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,280 How to look at yourself in the mirror when you step across 14 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,960 the threshold of reflection, all the while.' 15 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,280 OK, Pete, if you can now tilt your head onto an angle. 16 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,760 Imagine you're hanging on a cross and your head is slightly 17 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,000 on one side. 18 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,000 'There are some concrete memories. 19 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,040 Places. Coventry in 1994. 20 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,560 Most kids were fiddling with the dog-eared ends of the century. 21 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,200 No, they weren't. 22 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,480 They were going to the Eagles disco in Bedworth. 23 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,960 I had to stay in behind the barbed wire at the army camp 24 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,400 of whatever military barracks we lived in.' 25 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,120 Pull your head out backwards. Mind your hair a bit. 26 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,960 It's a bit bright, mate. OK, go. 27 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,480 Fantastic. Beautiful. 28 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,880 Excellent. 29 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,880 'I was the new kid. 30 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,560 Always, always moving. Always. 31 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,640 I was never a boffin. 32 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,760 I was clever. 33 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,720 It was a dreamer. I was a clown. 34 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,000 I was reading everything, whatever I could get my hands on.' 35 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,920 You know I knew you there 36 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,880 And to see you know and help me on... 37 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,920 'Now these are my notes. 38 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,920 Writing scraps of music, 39 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,960 songs, poems, that which can't be captured 40 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,720 in a neat, arranged story because there is no neat, arranged story. 41 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,480 I fall through these scraps. 42 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:41,280 It doesn't matter how far you fall, it's how hard you land, 43 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,200 and where, and I landed in a... 44 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,280 well, I landed on a stage.' 45 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,520 Oh, brother 46 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,720 Where art thou? 47 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,440 Have you got any brothers and sisters? 48 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,840 'We lived on a barracks. 49 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,320 There's marching and tanks, 50 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,680 assault courses, barbed wire on fences 51 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,160 and check posts and armed soldiers everywhere. 52 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,280 Everyone that wasn't... 53 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,600 a spouse or child of someone in the army was in uniform. 54 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,440 And to go to school you had to leave the barracks. 55 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,760 Or in Northern Ireland, looking under the cars for bombs 56 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,160 before you drove away or, you know, 57 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,640 never, ever telling anyone your dad was in the army. 58 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,960 He was a sergeant major and regimental sergeant major. 59 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,720 He was the man that they used to keep people in order.' 60 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,720 'Him and my mum, who was a military nurse when they met, 61 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,360 and married within a week, they had this vision as well 62 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,480 of quite a strict family code 63 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,600 and polishing your shoes and no answering back. 64 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,960 Yeah, everything was revolved 65 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 around the discipline of the military life. 66 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,240 So that was... that was just normality. 67 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,480 And I think, to 12, 13, 68 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,200 it was just central to your identity and your life. 69 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,200 And then as I got 14, 70 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,640 15, 16, 17, 71 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,720 it became an obstacle to the identity 72 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,400 that was naturally being forged as I grew up. 73 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,240 Just this idea that, you know, you couldn't do anything really. 74 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,360 You know, I just wanted to be elsewhere. 75 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,280 I wanted to live in a world where I didn't... 76 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,280 or just wasn't subject to this... to barbed wire. 77 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,200 At that point, it was just a question of how quickly I could get out.' 78 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,120 I wasn't a particularly good guitarist, 79 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,760 but I knew a few chords and I had ideas for songs 80 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,160 and they seemed to fit together with, like, the half ideas he had. 81 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,520 So even though we didn't particularly like each other... 82 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,240 It's like two one-legged men having to...Yeah. 83 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,080 Two one-legged men who are split down the middle. 84 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,400 Otherwise he couldn't stand up, and after a while, he learned to walk. 85 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,360 We didn't really have an idea of sound or... 86 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,040 even a band, really. We just always believed, 87 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,680 quite an old-fashioned way, in songs. 88 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,560 Complete faith is what we lived inside. 89 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,000 The only thing we had, really. We didn't have religion and... 90 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,640 I know we had love affairs and whatever and drugs, 91 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,920 but nothing that really captured you completely, and songs did that. 92 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,920 I'd always lived inside songs. And so had he. 93 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,320 And then we created our own ones, and that was that. 94 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,800 Our next guests are a terrific rock and roll band from London, 95 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,760 and this is their American network television debut. 96 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,160 The CD is entitled "Up The Bracket." 97 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,120 Please welcome The Libertines. 98 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,840 It's The Libertines. 99 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,120 Did you see the stylish kids 100 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,720 In the riot, shovelled up like... 101 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,280 The Libertines, they're fan-fucking-tastic. Yes! 102 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,760 Finally, I think simply the coolest band on the planet, 103 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,400 it is The Libertines. 104 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,440 There they are! 105 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,080 I am very excited to have you on the show. 106 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,640 The thing about The Libertines that people don't realise, 107 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,760 it was just so incredibly exciting in the beginning. It was like... 108 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,160 It was almost like seeing the Beatles in Hamburg. 109 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,720 I was never there, but I imagine 110 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,440 it was like seeing the Beatles in Hamburg. And the thing about them, 111 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,440 Pete and Carl were so obviously talented, 112 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,640 but there was so much going on and the pressure on them 113 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,560 must've just been incredible. It was just like song after song, 114 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,280 gig after gig. It was like a speeding train 115 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,720 and it was never going to stop. And that was what was so exciting. 116 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,560 From one moment, nobody knew who they were. 117 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,960 Ten minutes later, everybody wanted a bit of them. 118 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,440 And the winner is... 119 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,440 The winners are The Libertines! 120 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,560 Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a hell of a year. 121 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,960 Yeah. Listen though, just give us two seconds, right? Carl. 122 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,840 I knew a simple soldier boy... 123 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,200 Who grinned through life in empty joy. 124 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,520 He slept soundly through the lonesome dark... 125 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,200 And whistled early with the lark. 126 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,120 And in winter trenches, cowed and glum, 127 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,000 with cramps and lice and lack of rum, 128 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,560 he put a bullet... Through his brain 129 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,680 and no one spoke of him again. 130 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,680 You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye, 131 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,080 who cheer as soldier boys march by, 132 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,160 sneak home and pray you'll never know the hell... 133 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,160 Where youth and laughter go. 134 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,440 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 135 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,960 Don't Look Back Into The Sun 136 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,280 Don't look back into the sun 137 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,120 Now you know that the time is come 138 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,480 And they said that it would never come for you, oh-oh-oh-oh 139 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,200 Oh, my friend, you haven't changed 140 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,680 You're looking rough and living strange and I know 141 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:11,040 You've got a taste for it too, oh-oh-oh-oh... 142 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,440 I know what you're asking. 143 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,480 I'm trying to avoid the question. 144 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,160 Let me put it this way. 145 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,160 I follow my nose. 146 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,160 Someday the whole sky is gonna light up, 147 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,440 and it's gonna say, "Tilt." 148 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,840 And that's gonna be the end of the world. 149 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,080 How Does It Feel To Feel 150 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:04,400 How does it feel when the day is over? 151 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:09,440 How does it feel when the dark comes down? 152 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:14,240 How does it feel when your room is black as sin? 153 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,640 How does it feel when you're scared by the dark? 154 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:23,320 How does it feel to feel? 155 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,440 How does it feel... 156 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,600 That's what we're to believe 157 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:34,720 That's what we're to be... 158 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,640 Obviously things changed once... 159 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,640 once Pete broke into Carl's flat 160 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,480 and there was the prison episode 161 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,640 and the beginning of the second album. It was just... 162 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,160 I don't know, I think maybe the pressure got to them too much 163 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,640 and I know Carl found it really hard. I'm sure Pete found it 164 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,520 really hard as well. It was just something... 165 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,760 It was a really tough time for everyone involved. 166 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,280 Heaven knows how it happened. 167 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,320 What's happened in the last year? 168 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,320 More jails, institutions and death. 169 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,480 Um... true love, 170 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,600 and then true disaster. 171 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,000 Punched up the hooter, um... 172 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,360 down the hatch, up the bracket and all along the watchtower. 173 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,000 Were you sometimes afraid or worried 174 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,720 about the dark sides of Peter? 175 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,760 It got worse. 176 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,880 'First time I realised I had a habit, 177 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,880 a heroin dependency, 178 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,000 was when The Libertines went to Japan, 179 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,480 which would've been quite soon after we got signed, I think. 180 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,960 And it was on the aeroplane. I started withdrawing and I... 181 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,400 I reali... I mean, I knew it was coming. 182 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,080 I wasn't daft. I knew that it was addictive 183 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,280 and I just had never... 184 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,720 never been without it long enough to feel the effects of withdrawal. 185 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,200 And I was on the aeroplane, you know, with this new up-and-coming band, 186 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,680 you know, the world at our feet. And I realised that I was a... 187 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,480 ..a heroin addict. 188 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,720 And I remember coming off the plane and sweating and a bit sick 189 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,160 and I remember Carl sort of looking at me knowingly. 190 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,240 And everyone else just thought I was a bit travel sick. 191 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,360 I didn't even, you know, I didn't care, to be honest. 192 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,000 It was what I already knew. I just opened my guitar case 193 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,960 lifted the guitar and just saw this lump of foil. 194 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,520 And meanwhile, all the dogs had come straight for me, 195 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,680 and because of the photographers, it was like, "Welcome to Japan. 196 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,520 I'm really sorry about the dogs. They get a bit excited." I mean, yeah, 197 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,680 they get a bit excited when they smell fucking heroin. 198 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,800 Went back to the hotel, bang. 199 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,880 I was smoking it. And then I realised that... 200 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,720 ..I was dependent on this diet. 201 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,200 But I remember the change being almost instant. 202 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,960 Being... Felt top of the world, 203 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,160 felt a million dollars. 204 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,800 Down to the lobby. "Right, what's going on?" Everyone was like, 205 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,160 "Oh, Pete, you look really well!" I remember Carl saying to me, 206 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,800 "Yeah, I was a bit worried, mate, when I saw you at the airport. 207 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,000 You looked really pale and sick and you looked like death." 208 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,200 I thought... To be honest, I thought you had a heroin habit. 209 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,400 But looking at you now, you look better than you've ever looked." 210 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,960 You know? Like, "Yeah. Don't worry about me." 211 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,960 A kind of disbelief, really, at first that it would actually happen, 212 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,360 which then evolved into... 213 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,640 a disintegration really, of spirit. 214 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,760 So it was betrayal. And in the same way, 215 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,400 he saw my drug abuse as a betrayal of some unspoken rule 216 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,080 he had in his mind. He thought I was letting him down 217 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,400 and that I was just going to stop doing 218 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,920 what I'd just discovered and quite enjoying.' 219 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,960 F**k Forever 220 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,360 'Babyshambles was great in a way that I was able to 221 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,720 sustain my own destiny, no matter how corrupt that was.' 222 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,640 The thing with those three records, 223 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,800 the two Libertines records and the Babyshambles records, 224 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,680 they capture something about England. 225 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,560 They're full of Englishness, they're full of the Albion, shall we say. 226 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,640 They're incredibly poetic records and 227 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,960 full of life and melody and energy. 228 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,120 And even though they may not have been, I don't know, 229 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,600 maybe looked upon it at the time, I think in years to come, 230 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,760 people are gonna really love those records. 231 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,800 Albion 232 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,200 Down in Albion 233 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,480 I am black and blue 234 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,680 But we don't talk about that 235 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,200 Are you from round here? 236 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,600 How do you do? 237 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,720 I'd like to talk about that 238 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,800 Talk over gin in teacups 239 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,600 Leaves on the lawn 240 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,760 Violence in bus stops 241 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,760 And the pale thin girl with eyes forlorn... 242 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,640 So you haven't slept last night? 243 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,160 Not really, not in the end. That's five days I went. 244 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,960 Nearly. Wow!I know. 245 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,480 I was starting to talk to the furniture. 246 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,680 Well, I'm not surprised, really, after what sofa did to me. 247 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,400 Stole my keys and it made me think that this French bloke had done it 248 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,160 and like really... nice things that Frenchmen... 249 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,200 if such a thing exists. 250 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,840 Apologise to the French fans, and say "Look, 251 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,920 I had to get off the fucking train," like... you know? 252 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,200 That's why I was so late, you know. 253 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,600 You've got no idea, we've been through hell and high water. 254 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,080 It's four... four and a half hours we've been on this train now. 255 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,360 It's an absolute joke. 256 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,200 I don't know if you can hear me, but listen, I'm gonna... 257 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,920 I'll try and do this for you, like... 258 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:16,600 If Queen Boadicea 259 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,000 Is long dead and gone 260 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,560 ..spirit in her children's children's children 261 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,600 Lives on 262 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,880 But if you've lost your faith in love and music 263 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,600 Oh, the end won't be long 264 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,920 I've tried so hard to keep myself from falling 265 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,440 Back into my bad old ways 266 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,960 And it chars my heart to always hear you calling 267 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,960 Calling for the good old days 268 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,440 Because there were no good old days 269 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,280 I don't mind playing songs for people who wanna listen to them. 270 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,200 I'm... You know, I can play anywhere I like in England 271 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,560 and I come to a room full of people who talk shit while I play, so... 272 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,720 There's no point carrying on! You know what I mean? 273 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,560 Thank you, you're a gentleman. 274 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,000 So, to everyone who's listening, who's into... thank you. 275 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,440 To everyone who's talking, I'm really sorry to interrupt the conversation 276 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,280 with my silly song, alright? So, on one hand, thank you. 277 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,680 On the other hand, fuck you. Alright? OK? 278 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,720 Cheers. 279 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,680 1939 Returning 280 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,920 So maybe I was wrong. You're not scared of death. 281 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,360 What, scared of it? Yeah. 282 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,280 No, yeah, it's the one thing I'm not scared of. 283 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,040 I'm scared of everything else. That's why we didn't 284 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,480 get to the cash point just now. Fucking petrified. 285 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,440 Why? 286 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,520 Why? Well... 287 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,680 Because we weren't dressed. Because they wear feel... 288 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,360 I think I've done that a lot in my life as well. 289 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,800 Got myself in situations with people and then... 290 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,960 just turned instantly. Just switch. Freak out. 291 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,640 So I've never been able to explain 292 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,040 what it... to them... They must just think I'm... 293 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,440 "What the fuck's wrong with him?" But... 294 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,360 actually, it's almost like a snap... 295 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,240 ..in my head, and all of a sudden there's... 296 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,480 It's just not, like, healthy. It's like... 297 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,880 The only way to be just sat... 298 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,240 Like, what I was thinking of, was getting back right here. 299 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,680 Just sat here, exactly where we were, right? 300 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,160 'Memories of a love-hate relationship with the stage. 301 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,480 And I'm scared but I'm exhilarated.' 302 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,120 'If the whole world tells you, "You are the one," 303 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,880 I defy you not to believe them, my son. 304 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,200 I see you judging me. 305 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,680 People on the street and in the subways 306 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,920 and all kinds of different sandwich shops. 307 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,720 Remember that look every time you go on stage.' 308 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,320 So you're petrified of life, but still... 309 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,960 ..it must be so violent then, when you go on stage then. 310 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,200 Before. Just before. 311 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,160 Yeah, you know that though, don't you? 312 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,640 Yeah. It's impossible. 313 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,680 It's kill... It's... It's killing me. 314 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,200 It kills me every time. It's murder. 315 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,240 It's the horrids. I... 316 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,040 I knew it, but I knew it from... 317 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,280 Because even for something like me or anybody in... 318 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,520 anybody... 319 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,800 OK, let's put in between brackets, "normal"... 320 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,160 ..which is not the right word at all but you get me, 321 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,000 to go on stage is scary. 322 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,920 But to go to the ATM 323 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,080 and on the way, 324 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,040 getting petrified is not happening to me. 325 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,960 Yeah. 326 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,560 S...Yeah, that'd be something simple, right? 327 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,600 Yeah. 328 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,040 'It's just what I do naturally. 329 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,640 It's what comes to me. It's who I am. 330 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,880 And it's how I define myself when I'm sat with a pencil, 331 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,280 or a guitar or a typewriter. 332 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,520 It's immediate. 333 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,240 I need to create and burrow into these holes 334 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,240 and tunnels under the city and in the hillside. 335 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,880 If I haven't slept, then life is turgid 336 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,640 and dark and dangerous and dramatic. 337 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,120 Instant, controversial. 338 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,320 When I've slept, then life is beautiful. 339 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,880 You know, melodic and peaceful and creative. 340 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,000 Let's just say after three or four days without sleep, 341 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,160 it becomes quite a dark tunnel that I inhabit. 342 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,240 But, on the whole, on the surface, 343 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,520 it's not a tug. No. Yeah.' 344 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,920 'The great thrill comes from playing live. 345 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,800 But there was always an element of walking up to the gallows, maybe. 346 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,240 Not, like, nerves or being worried about anything in particular. 347 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,640 I think it's just some unspecific unnameable terror. 348 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,240 Maybe the anxiety just comes from the anticipation 349 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,920 of being so close to that fevered state. 350 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,320 Like the narcotic effect, you know, 351 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,320 of driving music and driving energy. 352 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,080 Like there's some trapdoor being pulled out from underneath you. 353 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,880 But more often than not, you just, like... 354 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,760 you swing down to a joyous place. you know?' 355 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,680 Killamangiro I've gone, 356 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,000 You will know 357 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,000 I was the only one... 358 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,520 'My mum's from Anfield, but I was never a Liverpool fan, 359 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,880 but, you know, all that side of the family's from Anfield, 360 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,120 it was expected that I would be because I love football, 361 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,280 but Dad supports QPR and that has always been my team. 362 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,520 But the first games I went to were at Anfield. 363 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,000 I think I was four or five and my dad, 364 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,600 he got a couple of tickets and we were sat the halfway line 365 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,680 but I spent the whole game just watching the Kop. 366 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,520 You know, and this would have been the mid-80s so you can imagine 367 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,440 what it was like. A throbbing, writhing mass 368 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,720 of bodies which would occasionally break into something 369 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,520 completely unified, seemingly spontaneous, you know. 370 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,400 In that very small area, 25,000 people 371 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,320 crushed together all suddenly burst into the same song 372 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:33,280 or the same hand gesture or raising scarves 373 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,800 or anything that tribal, that fascinated me 374 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,000 much more than the football. 375 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,040 Going to the match and singing and screaming, shouting, jumping around, 376 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,040 and then when the Taylor report kicked in 377 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,760 and the terraces disappeared and they put seats in, 378 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,960 it killed it for me, to be honest. 379 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,840 It's like being asked to go to a disco 380 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,680 and not being able to dance or something. That was everything for me 381 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,880 was to be part of that unit, impassioned and together. 382 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,120 And that's what really attracted me to music. 383 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,920 Cos I thought, I'm never gonna score a goal and see the crowd go nuts. 384 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,960 That was always what I wanted.' 385 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,440 In the eyes of the unwell and unwise 386 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,120 They killed a man for his giro today 387 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,280 'You know, just to see bodies in chaos 388 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,200 and just a need for chaos and frenzy 389 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,720 so you can fully express everything. 390 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,320 I love being part of it. I love watching it. 391 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,160 And then the first sort of gigs I went to, 392 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,040 I thought, "Fuck, yeah, it could still happen," you know?' 393 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,320 'Early Stone Roses gigs were like... 394 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,880 a thing of religious experiences to that generation. 395 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,200 Same with The Smiths. They were a religious experience. 396 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,240 But I felt that. I felt an affinity to that, 397 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,760 but it was like I'd come after Jesus had died, you know? 398 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,280 The Beatles did a lot of seated theatres 399 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,960 to screaming teenage girls. It was a different vibe, you know? 400 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,200 Like, when the lyrics or the poetry of punk 401 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,440 combined with that rock and roll energy, 402 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,720 it created a new crowd, which was more... a mosh pit. 403 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,800 Like, exactly the same as football, the terrace, you know. 404 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,880 Tapped into something ancient, built into our DNA. 405 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,320 And I thought, "Fuck." You know, "It can still... 406 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:33,600 It can still happen. People still do believe, if you like." 407 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,320 You know? 408 00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,000 So we put extra hours into building a church.' 409 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,920 Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? 410 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,920 Did she die in vain? 411 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,920 Now, sit that chicken wing down! 412 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,320 I act in my own stuff. 413 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,920 Tuna sandwich. Wait a second. You're a good guy! 414 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,520 I don't remember having that done. I was so drunk. 415 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,800 They shouldn't have done it cos, like, apparently I could hardly walk 416 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,760 and, um... 417 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,040 I was with two of my friends and they had tattoos as well, 418 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,840 but I don't remember having it done. 419 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,000 I woke up and I was like, "Oh, my God." 420 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,040 Delivery By, oh by 421 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,000 The way of an explanation 422 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,440 Cast adrift of the shores of shorty's nation 423 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,880 I had a lick... Nah, he's a good guy. 424 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,640 But again, he has his moments, 425 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,960 you know, when he's been awake for too long or... 426 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,760 can be a bit silly. But we all can, you know. 427 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,720 But mainly, most of the time, he's too nice. 428 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,360 He's nicer than most people, that's for sure. 429 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,200 He is a very loyal person. 430 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,880 You don't need the television. 431 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,400 Well, we can edit that and have me doing a flying kick, 432 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,080 knocking him out. 433 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,240 'Hard drugs entered my life, 434 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,760 and slowly, slowly, 435 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,320 very quickly took control. 436 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:40,280 I think I'd already had this air of mystery and fantasy 437 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,320 about laudanum, opium, and cocaine. 438 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,520 The Kubla Khan, Chatterton, Hunter Thompson. 439 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,040 So this horrible little wrap that I had 440 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,760 of skanky, cheap, street-quality heroin 441 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,880 in my mind became 442 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,360 the sacred key to another dimension. 443 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,760 I was working in a bar at that time 444 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,440 in Amwell Village in London called Filthy MacNasty's 445 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,800 and I remember I had it in my pocket all night. 446 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,960 And I remember closing up at the end of my shift 447 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,040 and, like, locking the bar, I lived in a little room upstairs 448 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,720 and then smoking this heroin and deliberately lying down, 449 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,200 expecting these incredible dreams, 450 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,600 floods and dragons. 451 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,840 It wasn't a very scientific study. 452 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,040 I had no understanding, really, of heroin. 453 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,480 Yeah, that came later. A couple of years later. 454 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,400 See, the moves I had in my fantasies, 455 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,000 like when I was young, kicking a ball against the wall 456 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,560 and dribbling through the lampposts and trees, 457 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,880 somehow it never quite made the leap into reality, you know? 458 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,760 Like, the overhead kick that I perfected on my bed, 459 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,000 it never really worked out on the football pitch, 460 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,800 you know, for the school team. 461 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,000 This kind of formulaic discrepancy between fantasy and reality... 462 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,280 ..it plagued my creative freehold 463 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,640 ever since, ever after. 464 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,760 Indeed, it plays havoc with whatever area of my life 465 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,280 knows the rules to havoc and wants to play havoc. 466 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,320 Fancy a game of havoc?' 467 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,800 Tomorrow, I go to court. 468 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,320 I'll get a very stern look off the magistrate 469 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,960 and then she will review the situation and she'll say, 470 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:53,000 "Look, last year, last July, or whenever it was, 471 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,080 you came here, you were very lucky not to go to jail, 472 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,320 we give you an 18-month probation order. 473 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,480 It's quite clear that you have not respected, 474 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,600 you know, this opportunity. 475 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,640 Cos you haven't tested clean... that often, 476 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,240 although I have tested clean quite a lot. 477 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,400 So I have that in my favour. 478 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,720 And then she's gonna say "Right, I have no choice, really, but to... 479 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,760 you know... 480 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,480 ..to give you a custodial sentence, otherwise people are gonna, 481 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,560 you know, gonna think you're getting privileged treatment and..." 482 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,600 She knows that... 483 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,920 I've got a huge fear... 484 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,680 a huge fear of going to jail. 485 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,720 And it's fucking gonna be hell. 486 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,320 So she's gonna know I'm gonna be frightened. 487 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,640 So boring. 488 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,640 You know? Just locked in a room 23 hours a day. 489 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,160 And then you have an hour, you're either, like, 490 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,400 walking round a concrete yard 491 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,240 with, like, you know, hundreds of maniacs. 492 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,120 "Doherty!" 493 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,160 "Go on, son!" 494 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,160 "Wahey! Shagged Kate Moss." 495 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,920 Yeah, it's hard, really hard work on the head. 496 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,960 And the soul, I would say. 497 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,400 'Got no money. You got no phone. You got nothing, just... 498 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,320 You just got yourself and... 499 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,360 back to basics. 500 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,360 But it's awful. It's, like, really hard 501 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,400 and, you know, it's very... 502 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,920 You got no privacy. You can't even... 503 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,720 can't even go to the toilet on your own, you know. 504 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,760 Sharing a room. 505 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,720 And because I'm famous and that, 506 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:56,280 especially famous in that kind of world, that culture, you know... 507 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,840 people read the tabloids and all kinds of shit they write about me. 508 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,920 It's murder. 509 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,560 It's right in your face, you know. 510 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,560 Is it every day? 511 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,840 I don't know. I don't read it, to be honest. 512 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,640 I think it's been quite quiet recently. 513 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,240 But the last thing I heard was that I was a scientologist. 514 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,280 Apparently. You know? 515 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,320 It's just complete rubbish. 516 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,440 I just take it for granted that people know 517 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,240 that it's absolute shit, you know? And unfortunately, 518 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,280 it doesn't work like that.' 519 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,120 Hello! 520 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,600 Oi, oi, oi. 521 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,960 What is success for you? 522 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,120 Success for me is begging, I suppose. 523 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,400 Talk about success, uh... 524 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,960 You know what? The only reason... You've caught me there with that, 525 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,840 actually, because you know how I think of my father... 526 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,960 and I wonder if things might be reconciled in a different way. 527 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,520 They might be reconciled. But success for me, 528 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,480 he always said to me, "Look, 529 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,240 when it reached the stage... 530 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,480 he understood that I wasn't gonna be doing 531 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,720 any of the things that he might have had in mind for his son. 532 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,800 He just said to me... 533 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,800 "Whatever you do, 534 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,840 be successful at it." 535 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,320 That's why he couldn't understand it when I... 536 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:52,120 I declared that me and this lad called Carlos... 537 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,120 ..we're gonna make a go of a band 538 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,640 who write songs and become a successful songwriting partnership. 539 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,680 Because he said, "What did I tell you? 540 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,800 If you're gonna do something, do it successfully." 541 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,600 He said, "You can't write. You can't write songs. 542 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,080 You've shown no propensity towards musical accomplishment. 543 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:15,000 You can't sing. You're not even... Son, what did I tell you?" 544 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,240 "You said 'Be a success.' Yeah, Dad, 545 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,280 look. 546 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,360 Thanks to you and your military... 547 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,040 ..and the military background, right, that you've given me, 548 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,920 I've spent a lot of my time... 549 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,680 basically kicking stones 550 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,840 on the corner of a street 551 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,720 on a crappy estate behind barbed wire. 552 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,960 I'm not allowed to do... be part of, like, reality. 553 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,040 I have to find own reality. And I spent a long time 554 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,760 in this fantasy world, and I assure you, right... 555 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,960 this is meticulously coordinated, right? 556 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,480 It is going to be a success, right? 557 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,520 Trust me." 558 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:21,880 'Maybe happiness is not being able to know what's gonna happen. 559 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,440 Maybe if we knew the end of the story, 560 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,600 there wouldn't be any more story. 561 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,960 Are we forgotten? 562 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,000 Do we forget? 563 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,080 I can't remember how many times I've turned against the wall. 564 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,240 There comes a time when time itself doesn't matter anymore. 565 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,400 It's gonna last years, this strange navigation 566 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,800 upon the indistinct shores of life.' 567 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,920 A little death 568 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,080 Around the eyes... 569 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:09,520 Painting is a close inspection of the psyche, 570 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,480 incorporating an interpretation and... 571 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,840 quite often a kind of filtration of society 572 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,920 and of the very small part of the world that I inhabit. 573 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,600 It's a desperate attempt that I make time and time again 574 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,360 to satisfy myself. 575 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,640 I'm slowly moving forward, 576 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,800 tip tip tip, tap tap tap. 577 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,800 And yet at the same time, there are now many circles 578 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,480 that bring me back to Oscar Wilde 579 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,520 and Dostoevsky and Joyce. 580 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,960 And the things really that... 581 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,120 inspired me in the beginning 582 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,400 and continue to do so. 583 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,000 I don't want you to... 584 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,440 And like, 585 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,240 I get an enormous amount of pleasure. 586 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,800 When you're messing about on canvases, 587 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,120 an enormous amount of pleasure. It's not just my escape, 588 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,400 it's my arrival and my departure and... 589 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,880 my first, my last, my everything. 590 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,040 To break free... 591 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,280 My, you did look dapper 592 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,600 In your mother's old green scarf 593 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,920 With your famous Auntie 594 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,360 Arthur's trousers on 595 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,720 You were slapped by that slapper 596 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,120 And how we all laughed 597 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,760 But she laughed the loudest 598 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,040 Oh, in '93 599 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,680 You could charm the bees knees off the bees 600 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:40,200 Cheeky you'd say 601 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:43,080 And we all fell around 602 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,520 Rolling round the playground 603 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:49,560 Saucy you'd say 604 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,880 And we all fell about 605 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,600 Rolling round the playground... 606 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,040 Sold out! 607 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,560 Around this place, yeah, people know what a legend is. 608 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,680 If Oscar Wilde was alive today, 609 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:15,680 he'd be chastised as Pete Doherty. 610 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:18,960 Oscar Wilde, Pete Doherty, same thing. 611 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,160 If Oscar Wilde was alive today, he'd be in prison. 612 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,600 To warm my bones 613 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:27,840 Oh, I've had enough of the dreadful cold 614 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:32,760 From the flames appears Salome 615 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,680 I stand before her amazed 616 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:40,880 As she dances and demands 617 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,520 The head of John the Baptist on a plate 618 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:51,640 And in the morning 619 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:56,000 Shaken and disturbed 620 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,960 From under soft white fur 621 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,440 I see the dust in the morning bright 622 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,080 Sets the room alight 623 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:11,120 And by the telly appears Salome 624 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,320 I sit up amazed 625 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,080 As she dances and demands 626 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:23,120 The head of Isidora Duncan on a plate 627 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,120 Oh, it's Salome 628 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,040 Oh, it's Salome 629 00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:02,480 She is the cold 630 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:06,160 Coldest of nights 631 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,800 It's the fire I light 632 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,400 Just to warm my bones 633 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,920 I've had enough 634 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,720 Of the dreadful cold 635 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:23,040 And before me appears Salome 636 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:28,160 I stand before her amazed 637 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:34,200 As she dances and demands 638 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:38,920 The head of any bastard on a plate 639 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,760 I re-read Crime and Punishment. 640 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,880 Fourth time now, I've gone through that. 641 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,680 I love that book. 642 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,800 Is that a real guillotine? Yeah.Yeah? 643 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,480 The last one that killed someone in France. 644 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,840 No! Yeah. 645 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,360 It is quite creepy, eh? It's quite a strange way, as well, 646 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,520 you know, to... to punish people. 647 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,800 Like... 648 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,000 a public celebration, isn't it. 649 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,480 Fucking hell, it goes on, doesn't it? 650 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,840 How much punishment do they want? 651 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,520 Look, it's... People are animals. 652 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,600 It's a fucking... 653 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,240 Oh, these are amazing. 654 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,680 Oh, ma gawd. 655 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,000 Listen, you've got to take care of yourself at some point. 656 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,040 Yeah, something does have to be done. You know, you're right. 657 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,080 You're right there. 658 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,640 You know, you've got to concentrate on yourself at some point. 659 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,280 If it's not gonna be rehab, it's gonna have to be an implant. 660 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,680 That's the two choices you've got at the moment. 661 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:47,200 You have to do something. Right? 662 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:49,840 So, yeah. Keep that thought there. 663 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,880 You are... You are going for an implant whether you like it or not. 664 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,440 I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be there. 665 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,480 I'll come with you. 666 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,480 What's the fucking worst it can do? 667 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,840 Since how long I see Peter? 668 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,000 I suppose maybe from... 669 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,120 four, five, six years. Cos it's quite special. 670 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,080 But not only Peter, with other patients 671 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,720 because they are so vulnerable at the same time. 672 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,960 They are very strong. They are arrogant. 673 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,720 They are proud, but they are so vulnerable. 674 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,680 Implant is a naltrexone implant. 675 00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:30,440 When you talk about opiates, you can talk about... 676 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,320 two things like the agonist and antagonist, 677 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,960 and that means that even if he's having drugs, 678 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,080 it can... it can do nothing. 679 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,560 'Courts are saying, "Look, you have to get this blocker, 680 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,600 or you go to jail." 681 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:54,560 A small capsule releases pills once every couple of weeks. 682 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,000 Opiate blockers. Awful.' 683 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,120 Sorry, Peter. Sorry, Peter. 684 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,480 ..when the day is over 685 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:08,200 How does it feel when the dark comes down? 686 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:10,840 How does it feel... 687 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,680 ..when you're scared by the dark? 688 00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:21,920 How does it feel to feel? 689 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:26,520 How does it feel to feel? 690 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,640 That's a... another patient I have... 691 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,720 - No. No face. No face. - OK. 692 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,840 That's another chap I have from the same thing. 693 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,880 Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. 694 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,880 How does it feel? 695 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,200 Everyone wants to achieve a point 696 00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:13,120 where he can control himself, 697 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,320 where he can work, where he can love. 698 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:18,400 And that's what Peter wants to do. He wants to be a normal... 699 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,640 Of course, he likes the rush of the drugs, 700 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,040 but he also wants to be a free guy. 701 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,400 And with drugs he can do nothing. 702 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,000 'Get an implant or go to jail. 703 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,080 That was what I was being presented with half the time. 704 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,680 I mean, who are these people? 705 00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:37,920 It's horrific, what they did to me. They're messing powerful sides 706 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,680 of the human psyche, the fucking biological makeup 707 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,880 of the brain, you know? And I was the guinea pig. 708 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,240 We were the guinea pig. We really were. 709 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,920 Numbing of the spirit and of ambition. 710 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,600 Yeah, what about the mind? What about the soul?' 711 00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:55,240 This is a programme about pubs and writers. 712 00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,960 Writers in pubs, pubs in books. 713 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,760 Books in pubs?Subjects that go together like cheese and onion. 714 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,360 Mild and bitter, not that you can find many pubs 715 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,400 that will serve you that these days. 716 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:31,160 How hard has it been for you to be back in a room together? 717 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:39,560 Well, I think that it has been quite hard. 718 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,440 You know, obviously, there's been a lot of, um... 719 00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,680 It's cos you live in Denmark, John. Fucking nightmare. 720 00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:47,520 He lives in Denmark. 721 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,840 He never answers his phone and he's been starting a family. 722 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,240 It's odd, really, like, the... 723 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,640 the way we've always communicated with each other successfully is 724 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,400 through music. And that sounds really naff but it's true 725 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,680 and... that's how and why 726 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:05,080 we're together and... sorry. 727 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,600 Oh. Ah. 728 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,640 But how does it feel? I don't know, you know. 729 00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,160 Cos we haven't actually been in a room alone together. 730 00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,200 So, um... 731 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:19,280 Do you see this as part of your rehabilitation? 732 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:22,640 Rehabilitation from what? 733 00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:26,160 Well, you know, your drug problems are well-known. Is this part... 734 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:29,160 Not really. I'm trying to keep that as quiet as possible, like... 735 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:32,760 No, really. You know? 736 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,520 As you can imagine, it's quite a... 737 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,800 you know, even just then, me and Carl would sneak off for a crafty one 738 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,400 while John wasn't looking. 739 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,080 A crafty cigarette. Yes, exactly. This young man here, 740 00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,560 you have a question, yes? Yes, Greg Cochrane from Radio 1. 741 00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:49,920 Have you talked about why you split in the first place yet? 742 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,320 Well, I don't think that's something that's... 743 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,920 It's pretty well-documented... 744 00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,760 um... 745 00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,320 Really, I never got my side of the story out, to be honest. 746 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,840 Here we go. Right, everyone just... 747 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,720 Does everyone wanna get a pint? And we'll sit in a circle. 748 00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,960 Wel, you know, forgive and forget. 749 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,920 That's what I say. 750 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,840 Apology accepted, right? Yeah. 751 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,480 OK, then. Any more questions then? We're wrapping up, so I'm sure... 752 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,440 Of course, you've got the chemistry. I mean... 753 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,280 - When you've got... - Homo sapiens 754 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,280 And selective cultural evolution 755 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:29,560 Lie-day-dee-da-dee-day! 756 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,400 It's something I've been dreaming about for six years. 757 00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,480 I... Just to get on a stage and say... 758 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,000 "We're The Libertines," 759 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,200 and it be real and we mean it, 760 00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:44,640 and two crooked fingers, then that's the biggest euphoria. 761 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,560 It's a long time, four months away from Reading. 762 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:50,960 Heaven forbid, but if you do fall out again, what's gonna happen? 763 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,560 If we fall out, it'll be the same as it ever was. 764 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:57,480 We're not gonna fall out. We're not gonna fall out before then. 765 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,560 Memories of the fights and the nights 766 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,040 Under blue lights, all the kites 767 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:11,320 We flew together I thought they'd rhyme forever 768 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:16,240 But all the highs and the lows 769 00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:19,400 And the to's and the fro's 770 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,080 They left me dizzy 771 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,840 Oh, won't you please forgive me 772 00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,160 I no longer hear the music 773 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,760 We're here waiting for Wolfman. 774 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,400 Outside Her Majesty's Prison Pentonville. 775 00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,880 Trying to explain to Katia that women also work as... 776 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,000 prison officers. 777 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,560 And they love it, yeah. 778 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,080 He should be coming through this gate. 779 00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,720 They've told me any time between now, which is 7:00 in the morning 780 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,440 and 8:00 this evening, so typical Wolfman really. 781 00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,480 Fucking me about. 782 00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,520 But it's a proud day for all of us. 783 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,840 And, um, yeah. Imagine living there. 784 00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:16,720 I'll tell you about it. Come over here, love. 785 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:21,000 We have to hide. We have to hide cos they don't like me anyway in here. 786 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,040 Trust me. That's one thing I know from my time in prison. 787 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,600 They don't like me in there. They're not... 788 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,800 Their life is basically a brutal one. 789 00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:32,080 The officers and the prisoners, mutual animosity. 790 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,840 Mutual mistrust. Mutual hatred. 791 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,000 An aggressive place and a violent place. It's nasty. 792 00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,880 A lot of the prisoners, a lot of the officers, basically, 793 00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:43,880 are just like fucked up, twisted people 794 00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,920 who live in an aggressive world. 795 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,760 But you have a laugh, you know? 796 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,160 Right, that's it. We better get off, cos like... 797 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,120 you can't just film round here. 798 00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,640 Yes! 799 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,920 Four months in Pentonville. 800 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,000 Wouldn't fancy that, mate. 801 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,120 Any interesting characters though? No, absolutely none. 802 00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:30,760 All cunts. Absolute cunts. All of them.Fucking hell. 803 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,200 And loads of people said that you owe them. 804 00:52:34,240 --> 00:52:37,800 Yeah, they're gonna say that, aren't they? I don't owe anyone fuck all. 805 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,640 I'll pull over up left. 806 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,440 He's just had it so bad. And I can't believe he's been 807 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,160 in the Ville for four months. 808 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,200 What a shithole that is. 809 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,920 Four months in Pentonville. It's mental, mate. 810 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,280 Murderers. Rapists. 811 00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,080 Wolfman. 812 00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,720 It's absolutely horrific. 813 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,840 I cried once in there. 814 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,000 "Strong love of life. 815 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,400 Like no one else," in brackets. 816 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,760 "I gotta work out what I wanna do, I'm counting down the hours 817 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,520 Walk on you. Walk on me. Walk on by. 818 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,440 Try living like this, living a lie." 819 00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,120 Slowly down 820 00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,720 Down the river, the one they sold you down 821 00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:30,240 The one where all your timbers shiver 822 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,320 Slowly down 823 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,000 For the outing 824 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,400 Her name was Clown 825 00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:42,520 For the outing now 826 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,680 You've found the prison of my mind 827 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,360 Do you want to hear... 828 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,840 I woke up at 5:50AM 829 00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,640 and I hit the emergency button. 830 00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:16,160 They said I wasn't on the unlock list 831 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:19,880 and that it was not an emergency and I'd get a red mark. 832 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:23,440 I was confused so I had a coffee. I weighed up the options. 833 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,560 Part of me wanted to attend and the other was hurt. 834 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:29,520 Another part was relieved that I wouldn't have to spend a day 835 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,760 in an uncomfortable cell in cuffs in a sweatbox. But then... 836 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,040 They're horrible, those cells in the appeal court.Eh? 837 00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,240 They're horrible, those ones. Agh, God. 838 00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,680 That's where I went for my appeal back in my burglary charge. 839 00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:43,600 What's the stuff you've learnt? I'm gonna be alright in life 840 00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:47,000 as long as I don't flop and upset everyone by hiding away. 841 00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,840 It was all confused. I didn't mean to hurt people. I just... 842 00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:52,320 My view was like, "I'm not doing anything to you 843 00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,520 because I didn't think anyone liked me." 844 00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,720 I just felt completely worthless. I've just found out, like... 845 00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,760 I've just been working on my self... 846 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,560 Self-esteem, say it. Self-esteem, yeah. 847 00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,240 You know, I've always been a bit vulnerable. 848 00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:54,760 I heard it said You had come back from the dead 849 00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:57,200 You were playing so fine 850 00:55:57,240 --> 00:55:59,880 Scooping up the soul of the wine 851 00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:03,840 Now courage, my boy When they look you in the eye 852 00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,600 Try not to look too scummy 853 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,880 If you need some money And you want some money, now 854 00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,160 It's not a happy place to be 855 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,280 There's nothing nice around me 856 00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,800 There's nothing nice about me Almost everyone agrees 857 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,440 A hell of a year for you and me, my friend 858 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,120 All those promises, promises 859 00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:27,400 I know you heard it all before 860 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:32,240 Love is 861 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,080 It's always just around the corner 862 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:41,160 I heard it said You had come back from the dead 863 00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:46,280 You were playing so fine Even if you don't show it on time 864 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,440 Courage, my boy 865 00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:51,920 When you look like me in the eye 866 00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,440 If you try to be funny 867 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:57,360 Do you want some money now? 868 00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,360 Now 869 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,240 How do you feel these days? Hm? 870 00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,560 How do you feel these days? 871 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,360 I'm quite grateful, I think, at the moment, you know, 872 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,400 to be doing what I'm doing. 873 00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,320 Libertines gigs this weekend. 874 00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,840 Pressure's mounting but fuck me, it's going to be a... 875 00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,080 How are the first meetings 876 00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:06,120 with Carl and the boys? 877 00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,480 I said stop that. 878 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:12,080 Yeah? Do you hear me? 879 00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,600 Did you hear me? I heard you. 880 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,640 Huh? I heard you. 881 00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:19,320 OK. So you've stopped filming? 882 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,360 I did. Yeah, OK. 883 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,920 Fucking one year out in the dark, I keep bumping into the truth 884 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,560 every now and again, and like coming out with these other... 885 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,120 other bits of... 886 00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,600 insight, but... 887 00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:39,560 When it comes to The Libertines and all that, 888 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,520 I can't be arsed thinking about it all too much. 889 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,440 I'm too involved. It's too... It's all too... 890 00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:51,720 ..too confused. 891 00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,280 For lots of reasons. 892 00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:00,880 No sense can come of it. 893 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,840 I can't really begin to imagine what's going on 894 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:09,720 at the moment. I'm sure I'm gonna look back on his time and gasp 895 00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,800 and be pretty annoyed with myself, 896 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,440 how I'm doing things, but... 897 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:21,760 It's all... It's all... No, actually, what am I talking about? 898 00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,400 At the moment, it is difficult. Things are difficult. 899 00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:27,960 I'm just waiting for these Libertine gigs to be done 900 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000 and to... 901 00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:34,160 ..get over that enormous obstacle. 902 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,200 Enormous achievement, I think. 903 00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:42,040 It's gonna be fucking emotional. It's gonna be fucking possibly... 904 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,160 ..wonderful and stressful. Probably gonna kill me. 905 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,200 And I can just put paid to a lot of things. 906 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:56,040 Bang, bang, bang, bang. Just spunk a lot of it on just... 907 00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,560 ..destroying all these fucking... 908 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,760 ..facades of an existence, you know. 909 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,400 Like, end all these chapters and then burn the fucking book. 910 01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,040 I pray I can sit one day and watch this with you 911 01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,360 and that this isn't, you know... oh, God. 912 01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:18,120 That you don't watch this bit of footage now and... 913 01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,160 you know... 914 01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,680 ..the day after my funeral or something. 915 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:35,320 I want to make it through to the other side. I do, I do, I do. 916 01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:38,280 I'm not going the right way about it, I know. 917 01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:42,080 It's all wrong, what I'm doing. I'm going about it the wrong way. 918 01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:41,840 Yeah! 919 01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:56,080 Don't look back into the sun 920 01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,480 Now you know that the time is come 921 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:04,400 And they said that it would never come for you, oh-oh-oh-oh 922 01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,680 Oh, my friend, you haven't changed 923 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,280 You're looking rough and living strange and I know 924 01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:16,040 You've got a taste for it too, oh-oh-oh-oh 925 01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:19,720 They'll never forgive you, but they won't let you go 926 01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,040 Oh, no 927 01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:25,520 They'll never forgive you, but they won't let you go, oh, no 928 01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,360 Don't look back into the sun 929 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,400 You've cast your pearls, but you're on the run 930 01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,960 And all the lies you said, who did you save? 931 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,800 Though when they played that song at the death disco 932 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,040 It started fast, but it ends so slow 933 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,560 And all the time it reminded me of you 934 01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,960 They'll never forgive you, but they won't let you go 935 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,920 Let me go! 936 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:59,360 They'll never forgive you, but they won't let you go, oh, no 937 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,920 Where's Boo-Boo? 938 01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,640 There's no cat food. Any fish? 939 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,960 What? Sorry! 940 01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,120 Sorry! 941 01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,160 So fussy. 942 01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,480 Look, this fish you can have for free. 943 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,680 You can have the... oh! 944 01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,600 It's definitely gonna have you now. There you go. 945 01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:42,280 Look at that. Disgusting. Who lives here? 946 01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,280 Just to use up the last drops of petrol. 947 01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:57,480 There we go. All down his foot. Ooh! 948 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,160 Is this legal? Probably not. OK. 949 01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:06,560 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 950 01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:09,200 Come on. Up you go! Up you go! 951 01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:11,160 Reserves! Reserves! 952 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,080 Yeah, go on, son! Go on! Up and along. Up and along. 953 01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:16,320 Whoa! 954 01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:17,880 Woah! 955 01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,920 Ay! 956 01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,360 I love the way plastic, when it goes molten, 957 01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:31,640 it drips down like that. 958 01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,720 Like melted time. 959 01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:38,440 The passing hours and days and years. 960 01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:43,800 OK, show's over, kids! 961 01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:46,840 Everyone out the pool! 962 01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,080 I actually think... 963 01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:10,720 there's a mysteriousness about that that I actually... 964 01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,520 Ladies and gentlemen. 965 01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:22,160 Welcome to the Cob Gallery for the first ever 966 01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,040 Pete Doherty auction 967 01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:27,000 of his paintings and his artefacts. 968 01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:29,640 101 is a selection of guitars, 969 01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:32,600 owned, played, photographed in... 970 01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:34,880 by Peter Doherty. They're here. 971 01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:36,760 These are the guitars you're bidding on here. 972 01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:39,440 £160. It's down here at £160. 973 01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:43,080 At 160. 170, we're bid on one. 180, we're bid. 974 01:07:43,120 --> 01:07:45,120 Two-five! At 2005. 975 01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,720 Sold. 2005. 976 01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:51,920 £2,000 that I am selling. It is going once. 977 01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,400 It is going twice. 978 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:57,480 It has now sold. 979 01:07:57,520 --> 01:07:59,640 £1,700, now I have 1,700. 980 01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:01,560 1,800 here is bid. Now 1,800. 981 01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:04,640 1,900 now. At 1,900 for the desk. 982 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,600 Sold! And sold. 983 01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:09,080 440. It has now sold. 984 01:08:09,120 --> 01:08:11,440 Sold for £1,600. 985 01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:14,240 Sold. Sold. 986 01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:16,440 Sold, £1,200. And... 987 01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:18,160 sold, £1,300. 988 01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:19,680 Sold, 3,000. 989 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,720 35... 990 01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:24,400 And sold. 991 01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:26,920 £320. 992 01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,480 Last chance. 993 01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:33,280 Last chance. £2,900, then... 994 01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:36,560 2,900. 995 01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,840 This is the most exciting painting of the evening, 996 01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:40,920 because this is the... 997 01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,040 personal work of Doherty 998 01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:47,600 in production with Amy Winehouse. 999 01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,920 £22,000. At 22,000. 1000 01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:54,160 £25,000. At 25,000. 1001 01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:56,560 At 20... 1002 01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:59,960 30. £35,000... 1003 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:02,760 Last chance, then. Once... 1004 01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,240 Twice... 1005 01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:10,280 Was that a bid? 1006 01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:14,440 Too late! There's 35,000 down here. 1007 01:09:14,480 --> 01:09:17,640 There's 35,000 here. At 35,000, then. 1008 01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:20,760 On the internet at £35,000... 1009 01:09:28,440 --> 01:09:31,000 Sitting In Limbo 1010 01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:33,240 But I know what I've seen... 1011 01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:37,480 Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over 1012 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:39,760 Sandman... Yes? 1013 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:42,400 Sandman, I'm so alone Bung, bung, bung, bung 1014 01:09:42,440 --> 01:09:46,280 Don't have nobody to call my own... 1015 01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:54,920 I suppose 1016 01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,640 It must be that time 1017 01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,120 To try 1018 01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:01,880 To... 1019 01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:11,240 Nah-yah. 1020 01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:14,080 "Forever alive. Forever forward. 1021 01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:16,200 Stately... 1022 01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:18,640 solemn... 1023 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,040 sad. 1024 01:10:21,080 --> 01:10:23,040 Withdrawn. Baffled. Mad. 1025 01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:25,800 Turbulent. Feeble. Dissatisfied. 1026 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,520 Desperate. Proud. Fond. Sick. 1027 01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,200 Accepted by men. Rejected by men." 1028 01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:32,640 If I wasn't on drugs, I probably wouldn't be 1029 01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:36,280 in the place I'm in now, doing the things I'm doing, 1030 01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:39,000 in most aspects of my life. 1031 01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:41,320 S... Sh... 1032 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:45,480 To be honest. 1033 01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:47,560 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean, 1034 01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:49,600 want me to get better? How... 1035 01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:52,800 Well... And why am I even asking you that? 1036 01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:54,840 But I, like, never really... 1037 01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:59,640 Because none of us want to admit to not being well. 1038 01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:01,960 Or... 1039 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:05,040 is it the opposite? People love to make out 1040 01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,960 they're real, like, hypochondriacs. Old people. Like, "How are you?" 1041 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,640 "Ooh, me back!" That was like me this morning, admittedly, but... 1042 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:12,680 "Ooh, me back!" 1043 01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:16,200 You're obviously leaving something since... 1044 01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:18,520 what, a week? Ten days? 1045 01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:20,600 A week, five days? Two days? 1046 01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:23,640 Now today. Now it's postponed again. No. 1047 01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:27,000 You postponed... Yeah. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1048 01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:33,600 So there's obviously something going on in your mind 1049 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:36,280 for postponing all the time. What's happening? 1050 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,400 Um... 1051 01:11:39,440 --> 01:11:42,840 Waiting to see if there's another option for salvation. 1052 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:44,880 Wait and see if fucking... if... 1053 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:49,080 ..if all these fine minds, 1054 01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:51,920 logical, intelligent, as well as being caring. 1055 01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:54,920 If they conclude that rehab's the best option, then... 1056 01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:58,040 well, hell. Who am I to fucking argue again and again and again? 1057 01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:00,840 There must be something in it. But then again, you never know. 1058 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,120 You know? Strange things do occur. 1059 01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:06,480 Someone might just come and save me, there might be another option. 1060 01:12:06,520 --> 01:12:08,360 I don't know. 1061 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:11,480 "Inside of those washed and trimmed faces, 1062 01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:14,320 behold..." 1063 01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:17,080 "..a secret, silent, loathing and despair." 1064 01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:24,520 Yeah, you're right. Something has changed. 1065 01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:26,560 I'm trying to get out of it, aren't I? 1066 01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:30,200 I'm trying to get out of it. 1067 01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:33,800 So right now, you do or you don't want to go? 1068 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:38,080 I don't care. 1069 01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:40,160 "Have the past struggles succeeded? 1070 01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:42,240 What has succeeded?" 1071 01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:47,360 "My call is the call of battle. I nourish active rebellion. 1072 01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:49,400 He going with me must go well armed. 1073 01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:52,040 He going with me goes often with spare diet, 1074 01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:54,680 poverty, angry enemies, desertions. 1075 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:56,920 Allons! The road is before us! 1076 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,760 It is safe. I have tried it. My own feet have tried it. 1077 01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:03,520 Be not detained. Camerado, I'll give you my hand! 1078 01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:05,640 I give you my love more precious than money. 1079 01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,960 I give you myself before preaching or law. 1080 01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:10,560 Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me? 1081 01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,480 Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?" 1082 01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:37,560 Seems like it's a message from the gods after all. 1083 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:42,240 It's quite obvious what they're saying about Thailand, you know. 1084 01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:46,280 They're saying, "Don't fucking go up there in an aeroplane, 1085 01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:48,600 whatever you do. Jesus." 1086 01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:50,880 'Putting it off. Putting it off, you know. 1087 01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:54,680 Putting it off in extremis. Like, just... just one more bag. 1088 01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:56,600 And then we'll do it. 1089 01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:59,120 Trying to think of a way just to get myself through that period 1090 01:13:59,160 --> 01:14:01,920 of grace at rehab, or just try and take something with me, so it was all 1091 01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:04,640 about experimenting with, like, hollowing out apples and things, 1092 01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:07,960 or, you know, the lining of your dressing gown cord, 1093 01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:10,000 lining of pants.' 1094 01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:04,920 241km! 1095 01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:08,480 241km, but where are we going?! 1096 01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:12,160 Happiness! 1097 01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:14,800 Alright, we'll get there in no time! 1098 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:19,160 'Time had come. I think I was just, I don't know, 1099 01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,520 praying that God would intervene and lightning would strike the rehab 1100 01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:25,400 or something if I put it off long enough, but it was still standing 1101 01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:29,360 as they just put me in this 4x4 and took me to the place. 1102 01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,640 And all periods of grace were cancelled.' 1103 01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:36,400 This is a crushed flower. 1104 01:15:36,440 --> 01:15:38,640 Crushed flower is just kind of symbolic 1105 01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:41,360 of the addict in me at the moment. 1106 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:43,560 The crushed flower of my addiction. 1107 01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:55,080 Well, obviously, here we are at the... 1108 01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:58,040 well, Hope. Hope changes everything. 1109 01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,320 Certainly changed me. I don't have a crack pipe in my mouth. 1110 01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:04,440 Or in my pocket. There's... 1111 01:16:04,480 --> 01:16:07,440 There's one in my cabin, but alas, there's no... 1112 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:10,800 nothing to smoke in it. And I don't really feel the need 1113 01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:12,920 right this second, but then... 1114 01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:24,560 Yeah, day three. 1115 01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:26,440 I'm struggling. 1116 01:16:26,480 --> 01:16:29,040 I'm struggling with not taking drugs, of course, 1117 01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:31,240 which is why I'm in rehab. 1118 01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,640 But I'm fit and healthy-ish. 1119 01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:36,640 I'm healing. All me sores are healing. 1120 01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:43,120 And I'm a bloody fool 1121 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:45,160 because I'm plotting this and plotting that, 1122 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,640 but... here I remain. 1123 01:16:47,680 --> 01:16:49,840 Over and out. 1124 01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:58,800 I am struggling a lickle bit today. 1125 01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:03,920 Yeah. I haven't had any methadone though, so... 1126 01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:06,480 But here we are in paradise and... 1127 01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:08,440 yeah, just... 1128 01:17:08,480 --> 01:17:12,120 I think I need a sit down with my typewriter and my guitar, 1129 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,000 you know, for a few hours on my own and... 1130 01:17:15,040 --> 01:17:18,720 you know, get back in touch with my creative ambitions. 1131 01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,880 Cos I know they're there, but... 1132 01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:23,040 I want bags! I want bags! 1133 01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:24,960 Meep! Meep! 1134 01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:39,360 It's getting more and more difficult by the day, I guess. 1135 01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:44,080 Yeah, I'm Pete and I'm an addict guy, yeah. 1136 01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:46,320 How dare you... 1137 01:17:46,360 --> 01:17:49,080 How dare I... 1138 01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:51,800 How dare I get fucking clean? 1139 01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:54,960 Mark my words, there'll be hell to pay. 1140 01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:59,800 Can't just leave that monkey lying there by the side of the pool. 1141 01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:02,240 You gotta take it home and feed it. 1142 01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:05,320 Yeah. Or you know what's gonna happen, don't you? 1143 01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:07,800 That monkey's gonna come crawling 1144 01:18:07,840 --> 01:18:10,160 maybe not tonight and might not be tomorrow, 1145 01:18:10,200 --> 01:18:12,800 but slowly, inch by inch, 1146 01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:15,960 night by night, that monkey gonna find you. 1147 01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:18,400 It's gonna come when you least expect it. 1148 01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:20,400 It's gonna sneak up on you, go, "Rrr!" 1149 01:18:20,440 --> 01:18:24,400 Getting closer to being clean 1150 01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:31,000 But the little green methadone fairy, she's so mean 1151 01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:34,040 Cos she gives and then she takes 1152 01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:36,880 And she fixes and then she breaks 1153 01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:39,360 The lime green muse 1154 01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:42,520 If I could only find my shoes 1155 01:18:42,560 --> 01:18:45,360 I'd be away into town, yeah 1156 01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:48,200 Find me some brown, yeah 1157 01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:49,840 No. 1158 01:19:16,720 --> 01:19:18,960 Good day. Really good day. 1159 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,480 Probably the best day yet having treatment. 1160 01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:23,520 She smokes crack 1161 01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:27,720 It's off the beaten track 1162 01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:30,200 Feeling, uh... good, really. 1163 01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:35,600 I had my little relapse, cos my body just... 1164 01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:39,720 Got my energy back. 1165 01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:44,040 You cannot stand the force of law 1166 01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:46,440 Look, man, I know it from your nature 1167 01:19:46,480 --> 01:19:48,600 Hit the deck as the creator... 1168 01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:51,280 Carl came back to Hope as well which was... 1169 01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:56,200 I was little bit concerned about that but... 1170 01:19:58,680 --> 01:20:00,680 Everything's... 1171 01:20:03,080 --> 01:20:06,000 Everything's just as it should be, really. 1172 01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,040 I love Boo-Boo. 1173 01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:13,840 Still she's holding hands with you 1174 01:20:13,880 --> 01:20:18,000 It's cut like crystal chandeliers 1175 01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:23,240 I'll shine like diamonds in her ears... 1176 01:20:29,160 --> 01:20:31,280 They say getting clean is the easy bit. 1177 01:20:33,040 --> 01:20:36,720 And 15 years of blocked emotion is coming out. 1178 01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:40,600 That's gonna be the tricky bit. 1179 01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:42,760 And that's what I'm running away from. 1180 01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:47,640 Because it has been quite an emotional... 1181 01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:51,680 ..couple of days, really. 1182 01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:56,200 Just everything makes me cry, really. 1183 01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:58,240 But... 1184 01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:02,480 Don't cry. 1185 01:21:02,520 --> 01:21:05,360 It made sense at the time. I think I just needed to hear him say 1186 01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:07,400 that that's how it was for him. 1187 01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:11,200 It is ten o'clock 1188 01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,960 on Thursday, 20th of November. 1189 01:21:14,840 --> 01:21:16,840 And I'm clean. 1190 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,320 Got my piss test there. 1191 01:21:20,360 --> 01:21:22,360 Ah, one second, I'll go and get it. 1192 01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:27,080 Clean of cocaine. 1193 01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:28,840 Clean of heroin. 1194 01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:31,120 Clean of amphetamines and THC 1195 01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:33,280 which is weed. 1196 01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:35,480 And also clean of methadone. 1197 01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:38,080 Now, I have had a Valium, so I'm not quite 1198 01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:40,920 clean of benzedrines yet, but... 1199 01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:49,360 ..I think that will do for today's message. 1200 01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:56,040 I feel proud. I do feel proud. 1201 01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:58,720 OK. See you tomorrow. 1202 01:22:00,840 --> 01:22:03,400 Yeah. Last two days have been... 1203 01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:06,600 been OK, I suppose. Not much of a struggle. 1204 01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,800 But, um, I feel good. Went out tonight. 1205 01:22:09,840 --> 01:22:12,040 Just me and Boo-Boo and... 1206 01:22:12,080 --> 01:22:14,400 didn't have a drink, so... 1207 01:22:14,440 --> 01:22:17,400 you know, I'm OK. I'm good. 1208 01:22:25,480 --> 01:22:27,480 I feel clean. I do. 1209 01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:33,800 I mean, I'm here. I'm not losing this. 1210 01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:35,840 I have had a few drinks. 1211 01:22:37,320 --> 01:22:40,520 It's not really the same, I know, but it is. 1212 01:22:42,840 --> 01:22:45,520 I feel good, though. I feel at peace. 1213 01:22:45,560 --> 01:22:47,800 I think the only way you can be clean 1214 01:22:47,840 --> 01:22:49,840 it to follow the steps. 1215 01:22:49,880 --> 01:22:51,880 You know, so... 1216 01:22:53,360 --> 01:22:55,360 We'll see. We'll see what happens. 1217 01:22:56,360 --> 01:22:58,680 Je sais pas. 1218 01:22:58,720 --> 01:23:01,200 The Boy With The Thorn In His Side 1219 01:23:01,240 --> 01:23:03,240 La-la-la-la-la 1220 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,480 What a waster, what a fucking waster 1221 01:23:48,520 --> 01:23:50,480 You pissed it all up the wall 1222 01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:52,360 Round the corner where they chased her 1223 01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:54,800 There's tears coming out from everywhere 1224 01:23:54,840 --> 01:23:57,800 The city's hard, the city's fair 1225 01:23:57,840 --> 01:24:00,360 Get back inside, you've got nothing on 1226 01:24:00,400 --> 01:24:03,800 No, mind your bleedin' own, you two bob cunt... 1227 01:24:03,840 --> 01:24:06,480 'Don't think it would ever have occurred to me 1228 01:24:06,520 --> 01:24:08,360 that he would appear on stage. 1229 01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:10,760 I wasn't ready for that, nor was I... 1230 01:24:10,800 --> 01:24:13,560 welcoming particularly at first. Like, you can see me smiling, 1231 01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:16,120 but I was genuinely shocked that he knew the words.' 1232 01:24:16,160 --> 01:24:19,440 ..Beano or the unabridged Ulysses 1233 01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,880 Oh, I really wanna know 1234 01:24:21,920 --> 01:24:23,800 So tell me where does all the money go? 1235 01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:25,840 Where does all the money go? 1236 01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:29,000 Straight up... 1237 01:24:36,960 --> 01:24:40,920 You know I never really liked it anyway 1238 01:24:40,960 --> 01:24:45,280 So much preferred it the other way, yeah... 1239 01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:49,720 'But he'd never come to gigs before. 1240 01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:51,920 I think that the only gig he'd ever seen was 1241 01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:54,160 an early Libertine gig in Germany. 1242 01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:56,840 cos he was still posted in Germany in those days. 1243 01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:58,960 And then eight years of not talking to me 1244 01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:01,200 and then another eight years, so it's 15 years now 1245 01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:04,800 since he's even been to a show and he wanders on stage. 1246 01:25:04,840 --> 01:25:08,160 Yeah. Singing 'What A Waster' and doing that strange gesture 1247 01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:10,800 for the lyric about having it going up her nose. 1248 01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:13,600 He is a bit of a karaoke meister, I think.' 1249 01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:18,400 You know that... 1250 01:25:18,440 --> 01:25:21,400 Never really liked it anyway... 1251 01:25:21,440 --> 01:25:23,960 'So all these years later, for him to come on 1252 01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:26,360 and know the lyrics as well, it was... 1253 01:25:26,400 --> 01:25:30,000 honestly, I was a bit shocked and embarrassed 1254 01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:33,840 almost as much by the fact my mum came on stage with the birthday cake. 1255 01:25:35,840 --> 01:25:38,640 And had this crowd singing Happy Birthday. 1256 01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:41,000 Yeah. 1257 01:25:41,040 --> 01:25:43,640 Supposed to be, like, rock and roll mythology, 1258 01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:46,120 but it was just, like, a bit naff. 1259 01:25:46,160 --> 01:25:48,160 But I love them.' 1260 01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,080 Happy Birthday... 1261 01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:54,640 'We made peace, you know. Quite a magical moment. 1262 01:25:54,680 --> 01:25:58,000 I'm just grateful that he's not disowned me anymore, you know? 1263 01:25:59,440 --> 01:26:01,440 Funny old world, isn't it? 1264 01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:32,960 I've been through an incredible journey of consciousness, 1265 01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,480 unconsciousness, subconsciousness, and... 1266 01:26:35,520 --> 01:26:39,000 psychedelic, psychotropic consciousness. 1267 01:26:39,040 --> 01:26:41,960 Chemical and intellectual curiosity. 1268 01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:46,040 Sadly, this led to great physical dependency 1269 01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:50,000 and physical degradation, from which I seem to have emerged. 1270 01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:54,560 Some days are more difficult than others. 1271 01:26:55,440 --> 01:26:59,440 It's a bit like a balancing act, a high-wire act, you know. 1272 01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:01,480 Just keep from falling. 1273 01:27:02,360 --> 01:27:04,760 It was a deep immersion in that life 1274 01:27:04,800 --> 01:27:07,120 and there's a great difference between being clean 1275 01:27:07,160 --> 01:27:11,400 and being 'able to live happy and free' clean, you know? 1276 01:27:11,440 --> 01:27:13,560 I can be clean, 1277 01:27:13,600 --> 01:27:16,040 but I'm still putting time between that immersion 1278 01:27:16,080 --> 01:27:18,520 and coming out of the waters. 1279 01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:20,680 It will take a little bit of time to dry. 1280 01:27:23,800 --> 01:27:26,680 I think I'll be interested in working with people 1281 01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:29,080 who are in the thick of addiction. 1282 01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,440 I think I'll be pretty well-qualified to help them, 1283 01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:34,480 if anyone wants any help.' 1284 01:27:48,760 --> 01:27:51,000 'The talent is the man 1285 01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:53,560 and comes from the man and comes from the artist 1286 01:27:53,600 --> 01:27:55,760 and doesn't come from the drugs. 1287 01:27:55,800 --> 01:27:58,240 And it never has come from the drugs. 1288 01:27:58,280 --> 01:28:01,080 Part of the fun and the challenge of creating 1289 01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:03,600 is to create in spite of circumstances. 1290 01:28:03,640 --> 01:28:06,680 So, in spite of being a drug addict, 1291 01:28:06,720 --> 01:28:09,080 in spite of being clean, 1292 01:28:09,120 --> 01:28:11,120 I will create.' 1293 01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:20,400 Someone Else To Be 1294 01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:37,400 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 1295 01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:12,440 Looking for another chance 1296 01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:18,920 Looking for someone else to be 1297 01:29:20,440 --> 01:29:26,360 Looking for another chance 1298 01:29:27,720 --> 01:29:32,680 To ride into the sun 1299 01:29:33,600 --> 01:29:37,720 Ride into the sun 1300 01:29:40,240 --> 01:29:45,200 Ride into the sun 1301 01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:51,360 Ride into the sun 1302 01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:58,840 Ride into the sun 1303 01:30:08,920 --> 01:30:11,320 Honky Noir 1304 01:30:28,400 --> 01:30:30,880 Remembering 1305 01:30:30,920 --> 01:30:34,040 Some slacks gang swing 1306 01:30:34,080 --> 01:30:36,360 Pattering 1307 01:30:36,400 --> 01:30:39,120 A-rinky-blink 1308 01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:44,320 Cold worn fingers strum old warped wire 1309 01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:48,720 But you get hung up, high deadly 1310 01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:51,000 Delay your dive 1311 01:30:51,040 --> 01:30:54,160 Cramped prefab divides 1312 01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:56,840 And low, slung, drunk, sly 1313 01:30:56,880 --> 01:30:59,280 Sing, song, sighs 1314 01:30:59,320 --> 01:31:04,000 Once we'd serenade and all your dreams were made 1315 01:31:04,040 --> 01:31:06,480 The gutter, the tap 1316 01:31:06,520 --> 01:31:08,760 Singers' chimes 1317 01:31:10,080 --> 01:31:14,600 You know, we were so emboldened when we 1318 01:31:14,640 --> 01:31:19,280 Saw the Ferodo bridge signs 1319 01:31:19,320 --> 01:31:21,960 We bet our lives 1320 01:31:23,040 --> 01:31:26,520 On the coming of our try