1 00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:05,788 [upbeat rock music] 2 00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,746 All right, it's Saturday. 3 00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:10,967 I got a lot of nothing planned for today so let's get to it! 4 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,056 A lot of nothing? 5 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,102 But look at all the fun stuff on today's community calendar: 6 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,930 A car show, a line-dancing contest... 7 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,236 a pie festival! 8 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,977 Ooh! 9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,240 All perfect for our father-son day, Jake. 10 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,721 Let's take a joyride to a line-dancing contest 11 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:28,767 and start a pie fight. 12 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,204 Or we can do something 13 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:33,033 that doesn't ruin other people's good time. 14 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,469 You're taking a lot off the table there. 15 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:37,559 [fly buzzing] 16 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,256 Great, a fly got in. 17 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,824 I guess this is my entertainment for the day. 18 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,913 [grunts] 19 00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,048 COLBY: Amy, stop! It's me, Colby! 20 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,399 I shape-shifted into a fly 21 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,401 and I've been stuck ever since. 22 00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,838 So you're still gross but now you have wings. 23 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,796 COLBY: Pretty much. 24 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,711 Wait, you're a fly now? 25 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,844 Then why have I been talking to this oven mitt all morning? 26 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,847 We just thought you were losing it. 27 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,850 And I'm nice now, 28 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:08,720 so I didn't want to say anything. 29 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,507 Morning. 30 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,204 Hey, Mom, what are you all dressed up for? 31 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,728 Well, I'm going to the community job fair 32 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,034 at your school. 33 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,862 Mama's gonna join the work force! 34 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,516 Why do you want a job? 35 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,083 I mean, I get the money part, 36 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,041 but don't they make you work, too? 37 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,086 Everyone in the family has found 38 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,044 a place in this new life except me. 39 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,306 I mean, you all go to school, 40 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,613 your father's a substitute teacher... 41 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,703 I used to be third in command of all villains. 42 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,662 And now I spend my day building castles 43 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,664 out of tortilla chips. 44 00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:43,103 [chuckles] Spoiler alert: the drawbridge is my mouth. 45 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,542 Good for you getting a job. 46 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:51,285 Bad for whoever you work for, but good for you! 47 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,851 I'm glad you feel that way 48 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,115 because you're both coming with me. 49 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,942 For moral support? 50 00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,119 No. To show me where your silly little school is. 51 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,512 [fly buzzing] 52 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,906 Is that a fly? 53 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:06,126 -[electricity crackles] -I'll get him! 54 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,084 Wait, Mom, no! That's Colby! 55 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,089 [opening theme plays] 56 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,449 [upbeat rock music] 57 00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:26,624 [knocking on door] 58 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,329 Hello, Celia. 59 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,069 Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,681 And Robert, the police chief! 61 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,204 So nice to see you! 62 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,945 Since we are law-abiding citizens. 63 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,642 In fact, that's my favorite thing to do with the law: 64 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,383 abide it. 65 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,080 Well, I need my paint supplies, 66 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:51,301 so about you abide outta my way? 67 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,216 Wait. Why are your paint supplies in here? 68 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,957 I don't want 'em at myhouse. 69 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,135 I need the space for my medieval weapons collection. 70 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:04,184 You haven't lived till you've seen her wield a Viking axe. 71 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,316 Well, I guess I'd rather not live. 72 00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,319 The paint's for me. 73 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,973 I'm doing a little graffiti cleanup downtown. 74 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,757 Oh, cool. Can I help? 75 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,324 I've been looking for ways 76 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:15,543 to get more involved in the community. 77 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,066 Absolutely! 78 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,764 That's very admirable, son. 79 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:23,812 But I thought we were gonna hang out today, actual son. 80 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,031 Its' okay, Dad. We can still do something this afternoon. 81 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,903 This afternoon, huh? Deal. 82 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,426 I'll see you at 12:01 sharp. 83 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,823 Well, Robert, while you're out, 84 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:38,261 I'll be preparing for our one-month anniversary tonight. 85 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:42,178 Ooh, that's what I call a win-win. 86 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,920 -How about a little preview? [laughs] -Oh! 87 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,791 There are children in the room! 88 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,014 [laughs] 89 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,190 Well, it's about time! 90 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,583 You were supposed to be back hours ago. 91 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,062 You kept me waiting so long, 92 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,455 I ate three of your mom's chip castles. 93 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:02,198 Your son was a machine today! 94 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:06,028 He cleaned up every last shred of graffiti in town. 95 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:09,597 Sorry for accidentally erasing all those crosswalks. 96 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,686 That's okay. You gave me a reason to write more 97 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:12,948 jay walking tickets. 98 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,213 Anyway, thanks again for your help. 99 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,433 [Rob laughs] 100 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,960 Wow. That guy should arrest himself 101 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,440 for overstaying his welcome. 102 00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:30,313 Anyway... 103 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:33,229 check out the amazing afternoon I planned for us. 104 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,232 [chuckles] Don't you think I'm a little old to play with toys? 105 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,626 Don't you think you'rea little old to play with toys? 106 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,236 We're not playing with them. 107 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,890 We're using them to plan a cell-tower heist. 108 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,413 Why would we do that? 109 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,414 The cell reception here is terrible. 110 00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:46,895 But with your super strength, 111 00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,157 we can move the tower from 112 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,898 across town to our neighborhood. 113 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,856 This is the plan. This one's me. 114 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,902 "Hey, Jake, lift up that cell tower, would ya?" 115 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,904 "Sure thing, Dad! You're the best!" 116 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,167 "Uh-oh, here comes that dork Robert!" 117 00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,474 [imitates police siren] "You're not my real dad!" 118 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,736 [imitates crashing] 119 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:06,088 Should I be worried about you? 120 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:09,787 Come on, Jake! You and I used to do stuff like this all the time! 121 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,529 Remember when we chiseled my face into Mount Rushmore? 122 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,184 Of course. Your nose fell off and it started a rockslide. 123 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,883 Dad, I told you I'm just not into doing 124 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,320 villain stuff anymore. 125 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,974 Oh, okay, I'll meet you halfway. 126 00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,236 Why don't we just hit golf balls 127 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,629 into the neighbors' chimneys. 128 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,501 That's fun, innocent. 129 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,677 Nobody gets hurt except the occasional roofer. 130 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,461 [laughs] Ha! 131 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,768 Actually, I was hoping we could postpone 132 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:34,943 our plan to hang out today so I can go on 133 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,205 a ride-along with Robert. 134 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,599 A ride-along?! In a police car? 135 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,472 You know that's our family's least favorite kind of car! 136 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,909 But if you'd rather do that than hang out with me-- 137 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:45,997 Thanks, Dad! 138 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,350 [upbeat rock music] 139 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,311 Wow, Hartley. This resumé you wrote 140 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,792 makes my mom's work history sound amazing. 141 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,317 I had no idea you're a better liar on paper than you are in person? 142 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,581 I didn't lie. I "finessed" the words. 143 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,409 But let's just hope nobody calls the references 144 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,933 because those are all fake. 145 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,501 Well, I don't know how you could possibly "finesse" 146 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,677 that I was the number three villain in the world, 147 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,158 specializing in electrocution. 148 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,421 By saying you were a senior executive 149 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423 with expertise in electrical engineering. 150 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,338 Oh! That's good! 151 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,820 That's like lying without lying. 152 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,299 Okay, now let's go get me a job! 153 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,737 [clears throat] 154 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,739 Uh, hi. 155 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:35,220 Hi, Donna Plank, founder of FacciaGrande face cream. 156 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,744 And you are? 157 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,310 I'm Eva Madden. 158 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:41,401 This is my resumé! [laughs] 159 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,753 Donna Plank doesn't do paper. 160 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:48,886 I want you to tell me why I should hire you. 161 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:52,063 Uh... 162 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:55,284 Don't be nervous but you're already tanking this. 163 00:06:55,327 --> 00:07:00,028 [chuckles] No. [stammers] 164 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,770 [groans] 165 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,602 I think that was a great first try. 166 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,778 [chuckles] Are you finessing words again? 167 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:11,909 What do you think? 168 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,480 Jake may not want to hang out now 169 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,308 but wait till he sees me having fun 170 00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,353 with a clone of his old villainous self! 171 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:24,618 [sighs] Bad Jake is your boy! 172 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,228 Uh, don't get too excited. 173 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,405 You're basically gonna live for a day. 174 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,973 But once he gets jealous and comes back to me, 175 00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:35,019 I'll vaporize you and everybody wins. 176 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:38,066 Oh. I don't wanna vaporize the wrong one. 177 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:41,852 Here. Wear this pin so I can tell you apart. 178 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:45,508 Wait, so you're telling me I only exist to be a tool of your spite? 179 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,903 No! You're a synthetic symbol of my love for my son. 180 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,470 But you're still only gonna live for a day. 181 00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:52,907 Works for me! 182 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,434 Hey! I spent hours on that! 183 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,697 We are gonna have so much fun! 184 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:07,008 ♪♪ 185 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,010 Okay, Jake should be here any minute. 186 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,665 Whatever you do, look like you're having a blast! 187 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,449 I wasn't even alive two hours ago. 188 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,755 Of course, I'm having a blast. 189 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,456 What is going on? 190 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,937 Oh, hi. I'm Bad Jake. 191 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,330 You must be... Lame Jake. 192 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,246 No, I'm regular Jake. 193 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:32,294 I mean, Normal Jake-- just Jake! 194 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,035 Since you don't want to hang out with me anymore, 195 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,428 you wouldn't mind if I made a clone of you who does. 196 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,561 You have to get rid of him. 197 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,781 What's the matter? You jealous? 198 00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:44,654 -[knocking on door] -CELIA: Hello? Anybody home? 199 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,569 No, I'm worried that our landlady 200 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,962 who comes over every ten minutes 201 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,441 might see that there's two of me! 202 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,748 Good point. Bad Jake, go hide. 203 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,839 Sorry, old man. I play by my own rules. 204 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,843 I'm sorry, but how can you not love this guy?! 205 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,802 CELIA: Time's up! I'm coming in! 206 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,283 [grunts] 207 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:08,025 Hello, Celia! Look at you. 208 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,985 Dating the police chief and still making illegal entries. 209 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,683 Look at you. Still thinking I care. 210 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:17,731 I came to talk to Jake. 211 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,733 Since you've gotten to know Robert, 212 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,126 I wanted to get your opinion on the anniversary gift 213 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,912 I picked out for him. 214 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,697 Lame! Get him a flame thrower. 215 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:31,005 Good idea! I can get him one that matches mine! 216 00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,360 And that's why we can't keep Bad Jake around. 217 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,144 Why? Because you're jealous? 218 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,452 No! Stop saying that. 219 00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,323 And stop making fake people to get back with your family. 220 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,238 This is just like the time you made a fake mom 221 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,806 'cause the real one forgot your birthday! 222 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:53,070 She'll never make that mistake again. 223 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,594 Whatever, I have to get ready for the ride-along. 224 00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:00,251 All right, Bad Jake, this is not working. 225 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,123 We have to up our game. 226 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:05,169 Time to hit some golf balls into the neighbor's chimneys! 227 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,823 Yeah! 228 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:12,481 All right, I love you but that's getting old. 229 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,575 -Mom, are you okay? -I don't know what just happened. 230 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,838 I have always been fearless, 231 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,623 and she asked me why she should hire me, 232 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,842 and I... froze. 233 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,670 That happens to me at the fro-yo shop. 234 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,455 I walk in knowing what I want but when they take my order, 235 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,197 I freeze up in a vortex of vanilla, chocolate and swirl. 236 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,200 The struggle is real. 237 00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,769 Maybe you were just feeling pressured 238 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,075 because of the resumé scam. 239 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,598 Mm. Leave it to Hartley 240 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,078 to bring us all down with her lies. 241 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,210 -What? -I hate to say it, 242 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,125 but I think Onyx passing me over 243 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,301 for that promotion has really gotten into my head. 244 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:53,696 I gave that job 20 years of my life. 245 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,437 And now, I've lost my identity, 246 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,482 my confidence, 247 00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,659 my lifetime membership at the villain fitness center. 248 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,097 Villains have a fitness center? 249 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:07,014 [chuckles] It's more of a dungeon with a treadmill. 250 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,103 Mom, look, I know it didn't go the way you planned 251 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,495 but did you really want a job selling face cream 252 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,193 for Donna Plank? 253 00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,847 It's not about the job, love. 254 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,110 It's about proving to myself that I can 255 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:19,417 feel just as important as I used to in the villain world. 256 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,115 Well then, you're going back to finish that interview. 257 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,464 -Oh. -How? 258 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,292 She couldn't even get a word out. 259 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,642 Well then, we'll just have to get the words out for her. 260 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,949 [upbeat rock music] 261 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,168 -Ready, Colby? -COLBY: This better be good. 262 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,693 I was just about to cannonball into someone's chowder. 263 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,739 Here's the plan. 264 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,959 Mom, you'll try interviewing again but this time, 265 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,743 Colby will be listening to questions. 266 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,527 Then he'll fly back and feed them to Hartley. 267 00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,051 Then she'll tell me how you should respond 268 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,444 and I'll use my vocal manipulation to make you say it. 269 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,838 Brilliant! And so simple! 270 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,408 Wait, do you have the power to make people 271 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,888 say whatever you want? 272 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,847 I sure do. Whoa, that was creepy! 273 00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,719 Don't call it creepy. Stop that! 274 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:06,943 Hello! I'm back for my follow-up interview. 275 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,685 Donna Plank doesn't do second chances. 276 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,949 But since I am legally required to conduct interviews 277 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,952 before I just give the job to my niece... 278 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:19,042 Go ahead, tell me about your sales experience. 279 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,348 Oh, uh... 280 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,393 [fly buzzing] 281 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,918 COLBY: She wants to know about Mom's sales experience. 282 00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,789 Well, she did help Onyx sell stolen weapons 283 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,138 to a foreign dictator. 284 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,750 -What? -Stop judging. Start finessing. 285 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,970 [Donna] Hello? 286 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,323 Okay, try this... 287 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,978 I have facilitated high-level 288 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:45,242 government purchases of valuable assets. 289 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,983 Impressive. 290 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,986 Although you did take a very long pause 291 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,335 before answering. 292 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,207 Yes. 293 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,599 [fly buzzing] 294 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,863 This thing is driving me crazy! 295 00:12:56,906 --> 00:13:00,214 -Hey. Don't hurt it! -Don't hurt the fly? 296 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,607 That's it! To sell FacciaGrande 297 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,001 you have to crush the competition 298 00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:08,222 and you are so weak, you can't even crush a fly! 299 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:13,096 We're done. I am so glad I didn't offer you water. 300 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,403 My mom never backs down from a fight. 301 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,709 This is gonna get ugly. 302 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:18,972 Thank you for for your time. 303 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,281 Okay, that is not my mom. 304 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,113 -Fore! -MAN: Ouch! 305 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,941 Ooh... 306 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,682 Bad day for that kind of lay out on the sundeck. 307 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,251 Hey, Jake, get out here and see all the fun 308 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,949 I'm having with your clone! 309 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,690 Probably shouldn't be shouting that. I'll go get him. 310 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:47,914 [bird squawking] 311 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,786 Whoa, I almost got a birdie! 312 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,093 Oh, that's why they call it that. 313 00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,096 Hey, Jake. 314 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,315 Ready to go for a ride in my squad car? 315 00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:01,101 Oh, no. You're not getting me in the back of one of those. 316 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,712 Don't be silly. You're riding up front. 317 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,106 Wait, really? 318 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,848 I'm in! 319 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,027 Come on, Jake! How many people can say 320 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,550 they've caddied for their own clone? 321 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:19,206 [car departs] 322 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:22,644 Wait. Why is Robert's squad car leaving without me? 323 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:23,906 Well, he obviously hates you. 324 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,690 I tried to warn you about that guy. 325 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,042 No, look! 326 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,782 Robert took Bad Jake on the ride-along! 327 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,743 Well, on the bright side, 328 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,614 it looks like your afternoon just opened up. 329 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:39,487 [upbeat rock music] 330 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,536 I told you Bad Jake was a bad idea! 331 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,104 Now my evil clone is on a ride-along with the chief of police! 332 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,018 He's gonna figure out we're villains! 333 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,890 Let's not panic yet. 334 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,630 I'm sure it'll be fine. 335 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,633 Whoo-hoo! 336 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,722 -Get in here! -Fine. 337 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,726 Nice haircut, lady! 338 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,120 Do you and your labradoodle use the same groomer? 339 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:07,341 Hey! That's rude. 340 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,908 Although that haircut is a crime! 341 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,915 It's just one interview, Mrs. Madden. 342 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,873 You'll get the next one. 343 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,310 Or the one after that. Or the one after that. 344 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,877 -Hartley! -What? 345 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,922 It's a numbers game! 346 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,490 I really thought our plan would work. 347 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,928 It's not your fault. [chuckles] 348 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,060 Maybe Donna Plank is right. 349 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:34,672 Maybe Onyx was right. Maybe I am weak. 350 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,936 No! No way! You are not weak! 351 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,720 You are the same unstoppable woman 352 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:41,157 I grew up wanting to be like. 353 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,116 You just need to show that clueless second rate 354 00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,682 cream queen who you really are. 355 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,294 [chuckles] 356 00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:49,296 You're right. 357 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,428 I've been letting the Onyx's of the world get me down. 358 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,517 For what? 359 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,346 I mean, I know what I'm capable of. 360 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,349 And I do appreciate you standing up to him for me. 361 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,960 But somewhere along the way, 362 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,962 wow, I lost my voice. 363 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,662 It's time to start speaking for myself again. 364 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,969 Okay. [chuckles] 365 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,797 Alright, Planky. Let's do this. 366 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,063 Ugh. You again. 367 00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,326 Yeah, it's me again! 368 00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:21,893 Eva Madden. That's right, I can say my whole name, too! 369 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,506 You think I can't squash a fly? 370 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:29,336 [scoffs] I could crush everything in my path! 371 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:33,035 Oh, now that's the mom I know. 372 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:37,648 My ruthlessness and cruelty put this place on the map! 373 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:40,738 And you pick that half-lizard Slither over me? 374 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,262 Okay, Mom, taking a weird left turn. 375 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,309 You sit there like a deluded fool 376 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,832 on your fancy throne 377 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,357 and you will never... 378 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,968 rule the world without me... 379 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:53,969 Onyx. 380 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,450 What's going on? 381 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,974 Did you just chug an energy drink? 382 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,758 [chuckles] 383 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,456 I think we had a real personal breakthrough. 384 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,371 -It's time to go now. -I'm not done! 385 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:08,288 You don't think I can sell your stupid face cream? 386 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:12,814 Oh. All I need to do is show everyone here how it works. 387 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,080 [sputters] 388 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,778 [giggles] 389 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:23,303 Now, when do I start? 390 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:30,701 One-Adam-Twelve, we have a suspect who won't stop farting, 391 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:33,443 he should be considered silent but deadly. 392 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,618 [laughs] 393 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,359 Give me that! 394 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,274 What's gotten into you? 395 00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,841 I'm about to take you to the station 396 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,930 and give you a "ride-along" in a holding cell. 397 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,716 -Surprise! -Ahh! 398 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,110 Celia! What are you doing back there? 399 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,113 I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary. 400 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,462 I was trying to leave you a gift, 401 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,509 but there's no door handles back here. 402 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,511 So, you've been hiding for an hour? 403 00:17:57,554 --> 00:18:02,124 I would have popped up sooner but I really like eavesdropping. 404 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,734 WOMAN [over radio]: All units, we have a disturbance 405 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,301 at the Valley View High job fair. 406 00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,651 Ooh, that doesn't sound good. 407 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,089 Maybe we should swing by the house and grab my flamethrower. 408 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,571 [upbeat rock music] 409 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:15,790 Whoo! 410 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:20,273 No one, and I mean no one 411 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,405 face-creams Donna Plank! 412 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,015 Oh! 413 00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,669 Well, that's obvious. 414 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,976 I mean, you don't even face-cream yourself. 415 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,109 I mean, just look at all those frown lines. 416 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,327 Oh! 417 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,025 I moisturize daily! 418 00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:36,724 Break it up, folks. 419 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,987 Let's calm down-- Oh! 420 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,643 Who did that? 421 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,035 ALL: She did. 422 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,951 You're coming with me. 423 00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:49,040 Wait, what? But I didn't do it! 424 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,825 Don't you know who I am? 425 00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,696 Of course, I do. 426 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,785 Your face cream has scarred half the state. 427 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,441 Allegedly! 428 00:18:58,485 --> 00:18:59,964 Hurry up and book her! 429 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,792 We have dinner reservations. 430 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,100 Job fair, huh? 431 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,667 Well, it's fair to say I'll do a great job 432 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,842 wrecking this place. 433 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,890 Jake, what are you doing? 434 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,675 [grunts] 435 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,067 Psst! Over here! 436 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,420 What-- Jake? What is going on? 437 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:23,814 That's not me. That's an evil clone Dad made. 438 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,339 Head's up! [grunts] 439 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,385 Luckily, I implanted a tracker in him. 440 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:33,215 And a few other surprises that we won't go into right now. 441 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,695 We have to get everyone out of here! 442 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,350 -On it. -Hartley? I need your help. 443 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,830 -[alarm blares] -That's the alarm. 444 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:40,744 Come on, everyone! 445 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,097 [murmuring] 446 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,883 I'm gonna enjoy this. 447 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,624 Hey, clone! 448 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,192 There's only room for one Jake in this town. 449 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,715 With lines like that, 450 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,587 no wonder he wanted to replace you. 451 00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,329 I love this! No matter who wins, Jake loses! 452 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,207 [grunts] 453 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,430 [Jake groans] 454 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,392 What just happened? 455 00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:22,264 I might have given him ten times your strength. 456 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,048 I'm sorry but what's the point of making a clone 457 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,615 if he isn't fully loaded? 458 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:27,530 Then how am I supposed to beat him? 459 00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:28,618 Ooh, I know. 460 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,054 Hey, Colby! 461 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,970 [fly buzzing] 462 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:35,625 Be a dear and distract Bad Jake for us. 463 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,236 COLBY: On it! 464 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,239 [fly buzzing] 465 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:44,591 [grunts] 466 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:50,074 Oh, man! I totally owned that clone! 467 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:52,033 You know, let's be honest. 468 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,165 I think the fly did most of the heavy lifting. 469 00:20:57,430 --> 00:21:00,302 [upbeat rock music] 470 00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,653 I'm sorry you didn't get the job, Mom. 471 00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,090 Oh, it's okay. 472 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,092 Hey. Thanks to you, I got something better. 473 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,007 Your confidence? 474 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,879 I was gonna say my first face cream brawl, 475 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:12,923 but, yeah, that works. 476 00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,581 Son, I guess you were right. 477 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,844 I should have never made Bad Jake. 478 00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:23,325 Whoa. Is this an apology? 479 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:26,023 I don't know. I've never done one. 480 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,069 Look, I don't know what happened. 481 00:21:28,112 --> 00:21:29,462 I guess I got a little jealous 482 00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,202 when I saw you bonding with Robert. 483 00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,466 And it made me miss the old days 484 00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:36,295 and the trouble we used to get into. 485 00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,514 So I thought if I could make you jealous, 486 00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:41,735 maybe you'd want to hang out again. 487 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,738 You don't need to make me jealous, you're my dad. 488 00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,435 It's just that... 489 00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:47,828 things are a little different now 490 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:50,744 and we have to find stuff we both like doing. 491 00:21:50,787 --> 00:21:52,876 Hm, okay. Well, if that's the case, 492 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,877 you wanna go make fun of Bad Jake 493 00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:56,489 before I vaporize him? 494 00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,491 Well, that's what I call quality time. 495 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,102 [Vic laughs] 496 00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:02,930 How 'bout, "Hey, Bad Jake, 497 00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:04,366 I feel like I'm looking in a mirror. 498 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,542 -A broken mirror." -[laughs] 499 00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:09,415 "Hey, Bad Jake. Plagiarize your DNA much?" 500 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:10,459 [laughs] 501 00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:11,939 Hey, Bad Jake. 502 00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,507 Nice smoldering eyes you got there. 503 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,943 Yeah, that felt weird coming out. 504 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:20,556 Hey. 505 00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:22,950 Bad Jake's gone. 506 00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:25,126 And he took out his tracker. 507 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,345 No worries. I'll just build another Jake 508 00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:27,171 to track him down. 509 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,261 No!