1 00:00:02,005 --> 00:00:04,565 This programme contains strong language 2 00:00:04,565 --> 00:00:07,765 MUSIC: Needn't Speak by Rudimental ft Lianne La Havas 3 00:00:11,725 --> 00:00:12,965 You made me cry. 4 00:00:14,045 --> 00:00:16,965 Yeah, I hope you're proud. I was at a coffee stand, actually. 5 00:00:16,965 --> 00:00:22,245 MUSIC CONTINUES 6 00:00:22,245 --> 00:00:25,725 When you're all, like, low down with those spooky chords. 7 00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,485 Wouldn't even let me pay for my shot. 8 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:31,045 MUSIC FADES IN 9 00:00:31,045 --> 00:00:32,605 Oh, I owe you a coffee. 10 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,805 OK, I'll see you tomorrow. OK, bye, babe. 11 00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:40,325 MUSIC STOPS 12 00:00:40,325 --> 00:00:42,085 Got everything? 13 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,285 Need your pipe or your periscope for anything? 14 00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:47,565 You've hidden the good chocolate chip cookies. That's bullshit, man. 15 00:00:47,565 --> 00:00:49,645 I haven't! You've eaten them all! 16 00:00:49,645 --> 00:00:51,165 Keep talking to me like that, 17 00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:53,165 if you want to wake up with a nose full of crisps. 18 00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:54,925 Have you got everything you need? 19 00:00:54,925 --> 00:00:57,685 What, here? With a tramp who steals my clothes, empties my fridge 20 00:00:57,685 --> 00:01:00,445 and crawls all over my personal possessions? 21 00:01:00,445 --> 00:01:03,445 Absolute bliss. What even is this? 22 00:01:03,445 --> 00:01:05,045 TV: The whole cab... 23 00:01:05,045 --> 00:01:07,525 Neo-Nazi Ice Trucker Wife Swap or something. 24 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,165 Everybody's very light on teeth. 25 00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:12,805 I love "my fridge", by the way. That's brilliant. 26 00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:17,485 Well, technically, I did buy it...with my money from my job. 27 00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:18,605 Oh, God! 28 00:01:18,605 --> 00:01:22,245 These dickheads have more fun than us and they eat frozen squirrel. 29 00:01:22,245 --> 00:01:23,725 What do you expect? It's a Tuesday. 30 00:01:23,725 --> 00:01:27,165 We can't be out busting moves every night of the week 31 00:01:27,165 --> 00:01:29,245 at Club Woohoo, peaches. 32 00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:32,445 Peaches? Club Woohoo? 33 00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:34,525 Listen, Scarface, what's for dinner? 34 00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:36,005 Consult thy fridge. 35 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,325 If I'm at work all day, 36 00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:41,045 I want a proper meal, 37 00:01:41,045 --> 00:01:43,445 like people, you know? 38 00:01:43,445 --> 00:01:46,165 Not freestyle fridge surfing. 39 00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:47,805 It's not living. Says who? 40 00:01:47,805 --> 00:01:49,805 Says the whole world, that's who. 41 00:01:51,085 --> 00:01:53,805 You know that Hayden quiz thing that we did? 42 00:01:53,805 --> 00:01:57,085 Mm. I still have the welts. Yeah, well, it came back 43 00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:59,445 saying that you were full of latent narcissism. 44 00:01:59,445 --> 00:02:01,885 What do you think about that? Latent, yeah? 45 00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:05,165 That's the good stuff. You want some? 46 00:02:05,165 --> 00:02:06,605 What are you...? 47 00:02:06,605 --> 00:02:09,005 CHUCKLING: You're looking at me like I'm a crime scene. 48 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:10,885 SHE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY 49 00:02:10,885 --> 00:02:12,285 You're off the hook, by the way, 50 00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:14,125 for Joy's dinner party tomorrow night. 51 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,765 Maya said she'd come, help me. It's fine. 52 00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:18,245 Well, I can go to support you. 53 00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:21,725 I'm sure you're much happier here, by the jelly tots. 54 00:02:23,205 --> 00:02:26,165 Stressful and everything, isn't it, looking for work? Er... 55 00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:28,525 You don't want to get on down with a no-job loser. 56 00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:31,125 I don't want to listen to you complaining. 57 00:02:33,845 --> 00:02:36,525 I'm sure Maya's got you covered. How's she doing? 58 00:02:36,525 --> 00:02:39,165 Fine. How many job offers you got? 59 00:02:39,165 --> 00:02:41,925 Charming everyone to death, are you? Yeah, I'm looking good. 60 00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:44,325 Got a nice swish interview raincoat, now, you know, 61 00:02:44,325 --> 00:02:45,925 I look like I know shit. 62 00:02:45,925 --> 00:02:48,325 So I got that in the bag. 63 00:02:48,325 --> 00:02:49,805 PHONE RINGS 64 00:02:49,805 --> 00:02:51,445 Oh, God, who's...? 65 00:02:51,445 --> 00:02:53,165 Oh, it's Joy. I've got to get this. 66 00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:57,645 Hey. Hi. Yeah, let go of the ceiling. 67 00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,485 Love buffet getting cold. 68 00:03:00,485 --> 00:03:04,005 Yeah. Look... Yeah, it's dinner at your place. 69 00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:06,165 Just get caterers, you rich cow! 70 00:03:06,165 --> 00:03:09,045 Hey, come on! I have these. 71 00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:10,565 Yeah, you're welcome. 72 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,085 You're welcome. OK? Bye. 73 00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:18,925 Um, so tomorrow, I'm not going to be around that much, if... 74 00:03:18,925 --> 00:03:20,325 Oh! 75 00:03:22,965 --> 00:03:24,245 Oh, have another. 76 00:03:26,885 --> 00:03:28,125 Oh, God! 77 00:03:31,325 --> 00:03:32,725 You don't trust me. 78 00:04:03,965 --> 00:04:07,645 We run. We flee from our potential as if we'd rather die 79 00:04:07,645 --> 00:04:09,965 than find out who we really are. 80 00:04:11,565 --> 00:04:13,885 You know we're all going to die. 81 00:04:15,405 --> 00:04:18,645 Maybe you'll allow yourself to live. 82 00:04:18,645 --> 00:04:19,925 Maybe today. 83 00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:25,685 You Daniel? Yep. 84 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,565 So then after this one, I did Burgertinis, 85 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:32,805 which was a fairly big campaign 86 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:36,205 for these kind of pizza-burger hybrid things. 87 00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:38,165 And that went, you know, pretty well. 88 00:04:38,165 --> 00:04:40,645 And I came up with the name and... 89 00:04:40,645 --> 00:04:43,245 ..you know, it did well. There was a... 90 00:04:43,245 --> 00:04:44,725 ..big spike in obesity. 91 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:47,445 What? 92 00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:51,565 It doesn't matter. 93 00:04:51,565 --> 00:04:54,965 What I need to know is, what can you actually do 94 00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,485 apart from doodling? I just brought... This is what I have. 95 00:04:57,485 --> 00:05:00,285 I mean, I don't have anything else because people-people have... 96 00:05:00,285 --> 00:05:02,685 That's... You know, when you make something, you make it. 97 00:05:02,685 --> 00:05:04,965 And that's what you have and there isn't anything else. 98 00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:07,285 I'm trying to stay positive. Mm-hm. 99 00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,085 Dan, I'm trying to stay positive. 100 00:05:09,085 --> 00:05:11,045 But to me, this feels like... 101 00:05:15,085 --> 00:05:16,445 It was amazing. 102 00:05:16,445 --> 00:05:20,125 He looked at the card and then right into me like I was a mirror 103 00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,685 or Death or something, 104 00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:24,205 as I took all his money. 105 00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:28,885 I thought, it's the second best thing that's ever happened to me. 106 00:05:30,845 --> 00:05:32,365 There you go. 107 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,405 Two grand. 108 00:05:33,405 --> 00:05:36,285 DAN CACKLES 109 00:05:33,405 --> 00:05:36,285 So fantastic. 110 00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:39,565 Thank you. Listen, um, the other thing... 111 00:05:39,565 --> 00:05:42,165 Do you think you might have something to take the edge off...? 112 00:05:42,165 --> 00:05:44,365 Hey, remember this? 113 00:05:44,365 --> 00:05:46,085 The Yes Babes. 114 00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:48,445 Know why I came up with that name? Why, Pete? 115 00:05:48,445 --> 00:05:50,005 Cos I'm a fucking visionary. 116 00:05:50,005 --> 00:05:51,925 We were so great. 117 00:05:51,925 --> 00:05:54,925 Your brother Declan said that our thing in that crappy pub 118 00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:56,925 was one of the best gigs he ever saw. 119 00:05:56,925 --> 00:05:58,485 Declan enjoyed how small it was. 120 00:05:58,485 --> 00:06:00,845 You copped off with Sally-Ann Bonaparte 121 00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:03,205 cos you're a prick. 122 00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,485 Mad about her, or was it...? 123 00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:08,565 She said she liked my eyeliner. 124 00:06:08,565 --> 00:06:10,125 That's the only thing I can remember. 125 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:13,005 Listen, Pete, do you have anything you can give me, anything? 126 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,005 Yeah. I'll have it very soon. 127 00:06:16,885 --> 00:06:19,485 I'm in a thing right now. I'm in a... 128 00:06:19,485 --> 00:06:22,805 It's walls coming at me all the time, OK? Like in the park, 129 00:06:22,805 --> 00:06:26,485 there's walls coming at me, so it's a kind of a wallsy vibe. 130 00:06:26,485 --> 00:06:29,845 Pete, I'd really... If you could give me something, 131 00:06:29,845 --> 00:06:33,365 it'd be good, you know? Tomorrow morning, I walk in by the river, 132 00:06:33,365 --> 00:06:35,325 I'll meet you at the little bridge. 133 00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:38,965 OK? And for now, I've got one of these left. 134 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,725 Nice muscle relaxant, tide you over. 135 00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:44,005 That's bollocks, Pete! Give me something proper! 136 00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:46,405 And there it is. You were exactly like that 137 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,965 when you broke up the band. 138 00:06:47,965 --> 00:06:50,005 I cannot pretend to care 139 00:06:50,005 --> 00:06:54,085 about the fucking college band right now, Pete. 140 00:06:54,085 --> 00:06:58,485 Seriously, that's the stuff that they give to astronauts, OK? 141 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:02,645 Before they have to go outside and fix the space flaps. 142 00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:03,765 What, it's for muscles? 143 00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:06,205 Muscles, brain, wazoo, everything. 144 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:10,725 Yeah. Thank you for helping me accept myself. 145 00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:12,765 Hey, I'm a natural. 146 00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:17,205 Yeah. 147 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:20,965 What are you working for? 148 00:07:22,365 --> 00:07:25,525 More money to jail you in empty choices? 149 00:07:25,525 --> 00:07:29,005 Or maybe you'll deal with your one real choice - 150 00:07:29,005 --> 00:07:31,645 to live in fear of the dragon inside you, 151 00:07:31,645 --> 00:07:34,565 or to set fire to the sky. 152 00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:38,685 How will you decide? 153 00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:16,725 SHE EXHALES 154 00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:23,525 Joy? 155 00:08:23,525 --> 00:08:24,565 Hmm? 156 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:26,405 We have to stop. 157 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:30,125 If you do any more deep breathing, you're going to swallow your eyes. 158 00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,645 Oh, God. 159 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,005 I'm so tired. Yeah. 160 00:08:35,005 --> 00:08:36,885 I'm just so tired. 161 00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:41,725 All these years of, like, "Ah, ah, ah" with Kurt. 162 00:08:41,725 --> 00:08:43,405 You know, he's so thrilled that he's busy 163 00:08:43,405 --> 00:08:44,885 and that we're booked out. 164 00:08:44,885 --> 00:08:46,965 He refuses to believe that it's because, 165 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,445 hey, the quiz actually works. 166 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,765 He just trusts nothing. 167 00:08:49,765 --> 00:08:52,085 He's such a fucking purist about everything. 168 00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:53,845 Yeah. 169 00:08:53,845 --> 00:08:56,765 You've got to keep on making the effort, because... 170 00:08:58,325 --> 00:08:59,965 Because... 171 00:08:59,965 --> 00:09:02,165 Because, erm... 172 00:09:05,405 --> 00:09:07,885 Anyway, he says he might not even come to dinner tomorrow. 173 00:09:07,885 --> 00:09:09,405 What a looney! 174 00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:14,125 So your ex Maya's coming to dinner here? 175 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,445 Yeah. 176 00:09:15,445 --> 00:09:17,325 Full marks all round for maturity. 177 00:09:17,325 --> 00:09:18,725 Maturity? Mm. 178 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,525 Yeah. That's us. 179 00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:25,365 Sorry. I've been a bit, like, "Ning, ning, ning" lately. 180 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,605 I promise that I'll be... 181 00:09:26,605 --> 00:09:28,885 I'll be better once the Americans have come to dinner 182 00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:31,165 and everything's totally over. 183 00:09:31,165 --> 00:09:34,205 Does that make sense? Done. OK. 184 00:09:34,205 --> 00:09:36,205 Thanks for putting up with me, though. 185 00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:37,845 Oh, shush. 186 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:41,005 I need the money. Hmm. 187 00:09:42,485 --> 00:09:44,925 PIANO PLAYS 188 00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,605 SPOKEN WORD JAZZ STYLE: # I don't have no job 189 00:09:55,405 --> 00:09:57,285 # My woman thinks I'm a yob 190 00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:04,965 # My friends call me Bob, even though my name's Dave. # 191 00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,645 Hey. 192 00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:10,325 I get it. 193 00:10:10,325 --> 00:10:11,845 You know, you're busy. 194 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,965 I just thought we could hang out in your downtime, which is never. 195 00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:17,365 You're just feeling lonely, cos you've eaten four bowls 196 00:10:17,365 --> 00:10:19,725 of cereal, and you're blaming me. 197 00:10:19,725 --> 00:10:20,805 Five. 198 00:10:20,805 --> 00:10:25,205 MOBILE RINGS I saw your face in everyone. Oh, shit, hang on, here we go. 199 00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:26,685 Hi. 200 00:10:28,405 --> 00:10:29,925 OK. OK. OK. 201 00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:33,045 I want you to walk out to your garden, put your hands 202 00:10:33,045 --> 00:10:36,485 on your hips, breathe through your nose, and call me back 203 00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:38,205 when you're only half mad. 204 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,965 OK, OK, bye. 205 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:42,565 It's just never enough. 206 00:10:42,565 --> 00:10:43,765 It's never enough. 207 00:10:43,765 --> 00:10:47,925 She's always like, "It's all about to go bang." 208 00:10:47,925 --> 00:10:50,765 Well, probably very difficult living with Kurt. Joy's probably jealous. 209 00:10:50,765 --> 00:10:52,085 I mean, you're just here grooving. 210 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,005 Can we just not talk for just a minute, please? 211 00:10:55,005 --> 00:10:56,645 Sure. I understand. 212 00:10:56,645 --> 00:10:58,045 It's just I'm... 213 00:10:59,005 --> 00:11:02,485 I'm just, you know... Yeah. Tired and annoyed. I understand. 214 00:11:02,485 --> 00:11:06,525 Angry and exhausted... Mm-hm. ..and angry. 215 00:11:06,525 --> 00:11:07,965 I understand. 216 00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:10,325 Please stop saying you understand. It doesn't help. 217 00:11:13,485 --> 00:11:15,085 OK. All right. 218 00:11:15,085 --> 00:11:17,325 What's the cure? You want a glass of wine? 219 00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:22,245 You want me to oil those achy thighs? 220 00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:23,645 Something sweet. 221 00:11:23,645 --> 00:11:25,765 There's only nonsense left in the kitchen. 222 00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:28,605 No. 223 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:32,125 What about those...stupid things with the disgusting jam 224 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,205 inside... What, the muffins, the muffinettes? 225 00:11:34,205 --> 00:11:36,285 'Fraid not. Or anything. 226 00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:40,765 This isn't human. 227 00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:44,805 There was, er... half a chocolate Santa 228 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,445 in a woolly hat in the cupboard the other day. 229 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:48,965 Where is it? 230 00:11:48,965 --> 00:11:50,965 I had it in a muffinette. 231 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:52,125 It was pretty good. 232 00:11:54,245 --> 00:11:56,125 You're a fucking animal. 233 00:11:57,605 --> 00:11:58,645 I understand. 234 00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:05,365 Do you love me? Yeah. 235 00:12:06,605 --> 00:12:07,925 Do you love me? Yes. 236 00:12:07,925 --> 00:12:10,485 Like an inferno, in a tornado, in a hurricane. 237 00:12:10,485 --> 00:12:12,325 Oh, that's juvenile bullshit. 238 00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:15,285 It's a dumb joke. 239 00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:18,165 Whoa. Wait a minute. 240 00:12:18,165 --> 00:12:19,965 What jet stream is this? 241 00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:21,685 You want to talk about a family now? 242 00:12:21,685 --> 00:12:25,125 Oh, what is it? I'm too old? I have no job? What? 243 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:26,525 Shrinking penis. 244 00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:29,005 What is it? You need someone to open the jars, right? 245 00:12:29,005 --> 00:12:32,085 Or you should stop being so fucking sensitive, about being old 246 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,605 and unemployed and sad. And fat. 247 00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,085 Oh, that's nice! 248 00:12:36,085 --> 00:12:39,365 Well, I wish you'd be in the fucking room sometimes. 249 00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:45,885 Is this it, though? 250 00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:48,045 Is this it, just me flat out and you just farting about 251 00:12:48,045 --> 00:12:50,085 like an old fart, is that it? 252 00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:51,885 When are we going to get things going? 253 00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,565 Like, when am I going to have a kid? 254 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,365 Like, when are we going to get out of here? 255 00:12:55,365 --> 00:12:58,245 When are you going to get a job? What is your answer for this?