1 00:00:02,005 --> 00:00:04,285 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:04,285 --> 00:00:05,325 CABINET DOOR CREAKS 3 00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:08,285 I'll fix that today, deffo. 4 00:00:08,285 --> 00:00:10,005 You lying toast hole. 5 00:00:10,005 --> 00:00:11,805 You claim to love me more than anything 6 00:00:11,805 --> 00:00:13,005 in the whole wide world. 7 00:00:13,005 --> 00:00:14,765 It's between you and the marmalade. 8 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:18,085 If you had any idea what love was, you'd have bought me a cat by now. 9 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:19,765 PHONE CHIMES 10 00:00:21,725 --> 00:00:23,245 Are you working already? 11 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,805 A cat, really? 12 00:00:25,805 --> 00:00:27,005 I keep telling you. 13 00:00:28,285 --> 00:00:29,525 Meow. 14 00:00:29,525 --> 00:00:31,205 Morning, I'm a cat. 15 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,645 I smell of cats. Meow. 16 00:00:32,645 --> 00:00:34,165 Where's breakfast? Meow. 17 00:00:35,365 --> 00:00:38,485 Guess which part of me I've been chewing for a day and a half. 18 00:00:38,485 --> 00:00:41,005 Clue, it begins with the letter ass. Meow! What? 19 00:00:41,005 --> 00:00:44,365 Where's breakfast? Kisses! Meow. 20 00:00:44,365 --> 00:00:46,965 Look, pour your heartless marmaladey arse downstairs, 21 00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:49,005 cos I've got to meditate. 22 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,805 You talking to me, lady? 23 00:00:50,805 --> 00:00:53,485 No, no, VIPs only today. 24 00:00:53,485 --> 00:00:54,925 Hop it. 25 00:00:59,365 --> 00:01:01,325 I'm king of Vesuvia. 26 00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:02,805 You must speak of me. 27 00:01:02,805 --> 00:01:04,085 Where's Vevusia? 28 00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:06,005 Between Iceland and Peru. 29 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,205 You come, we dance in fields of frozen banana. 30 00:01:08,205 --> 00:01:09,805 Now huge loves! 31 00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:11,165 Yo, can we do this later? 32 00:01:11,165 --> 00:01:14,485 Cos I've got to sort these emails out or else I'm gonna lose my job. 33 00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:19,405 Thank you. Wretch! You refuse royal ecstasy. 34 00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:20,925 Revolution, innit? 35 00:01:20,925 --> 00:01:23,765 I'll tax you flees! Up the Republic! 36 00:01:23,765 --> 00:01:25,845 Ah, no, no, no! 37 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,605 HE DIALS 38 00:02:18,085 --> 00:02:20,645 Dr Pete Cosmos. Please leave a message. 39 00:02:20,645 --> 00:02:22,725 Pete. 40 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,725 Pete, call me back, will you? 41 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,485 BIRDS TWEET 42 00:02:55,285 --> 00:02:56,845 Dan! 43 00:02:56,845 --> 00:02:59,405 Yeah? Is my bag down there? 44 00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:00,805 No. 45 00:03:08,725 --> 00:03:10,005 Oh, sorry. 46 00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:12,165 See you after Joy's, then, yeah? What, that's tonight? 47 00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:13,405 Yeah. 48 00:03:13,405 --> 00:03:15,445 Oh, hey, Carla, wait. 49 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,885 Hey, Carla, wait. Hang on. 50 00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:18,805 Hey, Carla. Got to go. 51 00:03:18,805 --> 00:03:20,805 Oh, come on. Don't wait up! 52 00:03:20,805 --> 00:03:23,565 Hey. Hey. Bye! 53 00:03:23,565 --> 00:03:25,485 PHONE RINGS 54 00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:28,685 Don't go, don't go. 55 00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,285 Don't go. 56 00:03:31,805 --> 00:03:33,565 Pete. Pete? Oh. 57 00:03:33,565 --> 00:03:35,365 AHHH! 58 00:03:37,805 --> 00:03:39,565 HE PANTS 59 00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,885 PHONE RINGS 60 00:03:46,765 --> 00:03:48,925 Pete? Look, I can't talk now. 61 00:03:48,925 --> 00:03:51,525 I'm in the middle of this huge row with Maggie. 62 00:03:51,525 --> 00:03:52,645 Pete, Pete. Listen, Pete. 63 00:03:52,645 --> 00:03:54,645 I need a peace offering. Something good. 64 00:03:54,645 --> 00:03:56,405 She won't even look at me. 65 00:03:56,405 --> 00:03:59,005 Get her cat. What? 66 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,605 Carla keeps talking about cats. 67 00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:03,005 Pete, listen. Do you have the... 68 00:04:03,005 --> 00:04:05,405 A cat? Do you have the stuff? 69 00:04:05,405 --> 00:04:06,925 That's genius. 70 00:04:08,245 --> 00:04:11,245 Great. Thanks. Later. 71 00:04:11,245 --> 00:04:12,845 No! 72 00:04:12,845 --> 00:04:14,725 No, Pete. No, no. 73 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:17,925 Ow! 74 00:04:19,285 --> 00:04:20,885 Jesus! 75 00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:27,405 CALMING MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE 76 00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:29,045 The key is the lock. 77 00:04:29,045 --> 00:04:30,645 Surrender is victory. 78 00:04:34,325 --> 00:04:36,965 The lock is the key. Victory is surrender. 79 00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:45,005 SIRENS IN DISTANCE 80 00:04:46,805 --> 00:04:47,885 HE SNEEZES 81 00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:53,765 Pete, I'm sorry you're allergic or whatever to cats. 82 00:04:53,765 --> 00:04:55,565 I'm fine. 83 00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:57,245 Maggie's in bed. 84 00:04:57,245 --> 00:04:59,565 Sneezing needles, crying crusts. 85 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:00,805 Hating your guts. 86 00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:03,485 Sorry. 87 00:05:03,485 --> 00:05:06,005 Listen, erm, these pills. 88 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,965 I was just thinking, you know, it could be... 89 00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:10,045 It could be a really bad idea, so... 90 00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:12,765 I don't know. What do you...what do you think? 91 00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:15,685 Take them, don't take them. I don't care, Dan, just pay me. 92 00:05:15,685 --> 00:05:17,325 I'm freezing and dying here. 93 00:05:17,325 --> 00:05:19,325 I rode a bus. 94 00:05:19,325 --> 00:05:21,605 What do you want from me? 95 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,925 Well, I don't know. 96 00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:26,605 Like, maybe a diagnosis of some sort. 97 00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:29,365 You're an arsehole, my friend. 98 00:05:29,365 --> 00:05:31,245 That's the diagnosis. 99 00:05:31,245 --> 00:05:34,965 I'll have them tomorrow. Or next week. 100 00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,765 You might find you feel vulnerable. 101 00:05:36,765 --> 00:05:38,925 Don't worry about it. 102 00:05:38,925 --> 00:05:40,365 What? 103 00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,725 You might get a bit panicky and angry. 104 00:05:42,725 --> 00:05:45,205 It'll pass. You'll numb up in no time. 105 00:05:46,925 --> 00:05:49,525 What the fuck are you doing? 106 00:05:49,525 --> 00:05:52,085 I couldn't get the stuff. 107 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,645 I have debts. 108 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,845 But you're winning. You said you keep winning. 109 00:05:55,845 --> 00:05:57,805 You're winning all the time. 110 00:05:57,805 --> 00:05:59,325 So you've lost some... 111 00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,685 You haven't lost any of my money? I'm sorry, Dan. 112 00:06:02,765 --> 00:06:06,645 This guy the other night just emptied me. 113 00:06:06,645 --> 00:06:08,565 Wouldn't stop. My money? 114 00:06:08,565 --> 00:06:10,765 You lost my money? 115 00:06:10,765 --> 00:06:13,605 Gone. All gone. 116 00:06:13,605 --> 00:06:15,845 You might want to have a drink or some ice cream. 117 00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:18,165 It'll help psychologically. 118 00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:21,285 All the money? All the money? 119 00:06:21,285 --> 00:06:24,605 Are you saying you lost all the money, Pete? Don't worry. 120 00:06:24,605 --> 00:06:28,405 You could just run to your fazillionaire brother, Declan. 121 00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:30,165 Wish I had one. 122 00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:31,365 Wish I was you! 123 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,045 You just lost... 124 00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:39,165 I told you, it could go either way. 125 00:06:40,285 --> 00:06:43,365 You're welcome, by the way. Huh? 126 00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:44,725 Enjoy. 127 00:06:49,965 --> 00:06:52,005 PHONE RINGS 128 00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,445 RINGING STOPS 129 00:07:12,925 --> 00:07:15,605 Fight without a fight. 130 00:07:21,285 --> 00:07:24,645 So they came to the edge of the forest when the river went 131 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:28,325 into the trees and then... Freeze! 132 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:31,925 Oh, wow. You're so the best at freezing. 133 00:07:31,925 --> 00:07:35,645 Let's put lots and lots and lots of things 134 00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,125 up your nose. 135 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:40,045 Do the monster! What are you talking about? 136 00:07:40,045 --> 00:07:44,525 I'm gonna eat you! I'm gonna bite all your toes off! 137 00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:46,485 There's no monsters here. 138 00:07:46,485 --> 00:07:48,805 I like this one. Yeah. 139 00:07:48,805 --> 00:07:51,365 You know, my Aunt Ella, she hid this in my pram to get them 140 00:07:51,365 --> 00:07:52,725 through the checkpoints. 141 00:07:52,725 --> 00:07:54,965 Wow. Good taste. 142 00:07:54,965 --> 00:07:57,365 Yeah, she was tough. 143 00:07:57,365 --> 00:07:59,725 Did you know this struggle made us all tough? 144 00:07:59,725 --> 00:08:02,365 Kurt? Yes, darling? Come and help me with the champagne. 145 00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:04,845 Of course, yeah. Thank you. Just a minute. 146 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:21,325 Clever old Joy. 147 00:08:21,325 --> 00:08:22,805 Two great kids. 148 00:08:24,485 --> 00:08:26,605 Her own business, a big fuck-off house. 149 00:08:26,605 --> 00:08:28,485 Right where she should be. 150 00:08:28,485 --> 00:08:31,365 When are you going to be where you should be? 151 00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:35,565 With me, in the sea. 152 00:08:37,005 --> 00:08:38,365 Off our heads. 153 00:08:38,365 --> 00:08:40,525 We've done that, Madge. 154 00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:42,205 Time goes by. 155 00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:44,925 We'll make soup. 156 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,125 Fuck soup. 157 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:50,925 Off our heads, like before. 158 00:08:50,925 --> 00:08:52,925 The happiest I've ever been. Your words. 159 00:08:58,365 --> 00:09:00,245 Something missing on this wall. 160 00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:04,725 You know, um, 161 00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:08,125 I...really 162 00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:09,365 like... 163 00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:12,925 ..this... 164 00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:15,965 ..picture...here. 165 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,605 You are impossible. 166 00:09:22,445 --> 00:09:23,885 You know, I'm, um... 167 00:09:25,045 --> 00:09:27,725 ..just here trying to be friends, babe. 168 00:09:27,725 --> 00:09:29,245 How's it going? 169 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:35,725 Do you think the Americans are going to be upbeat? 170 00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:38,885 The Yanks. They're upbeat or they get the electric chair! 171 00:09:38,885 --> 00:09:40,925 SHE CHUCKLES, DOORBELL RINGS 172 00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,445 My God, they're on time, the freaks! They are. 173 00:09:43,445 --> 00:09:45,245 Carla? Carla. 174 00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:49,005 Carla, they... 175 00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:49,005 CARLA CHUCKLES QUIETLY 176 00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:54,005 Dan! It's Dan. Come in. 177 00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:56,725 I hope it's all right. Of course it's all right. 178 00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:58,645 Hi, Joy. Hi. Carla... 179 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:03,205 Should we start with the champagne? Sure, great, thank you. Yeah, OK. 180 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:05,365 Sure. Lovely, thank you. Always a good start. 181 00:10:05,365 --> 00:10:07,365 Thank you. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers. 182 00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:09,925 To the man who never asks me anything. 183 00:10:14,085 --> 00:10:16,885 Actually, I would like to ask you something, Kurt. 184 00:10:16,885 --> 00:10:18,445 Oh, finally. 185 00:10:18,445 --> 00:10:19,565 Follow me. 186 00:10:19,565 --> 00:10:23,965 MUSIC: Blauer Montag by Mary Roos 187 00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:26,965 DOG WHIMPERS 188 00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:26,965 Daphne, what? 189 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,325 So you want to borrow that much? 190 00:10:50,765 --> 00:10:53,365 Five years. I'll be square with you in five years. 191 00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:54,965 Totally. 192 00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:56,805 Carla is our saviour. 193 00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,765 She does so much for us. 194 00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:03,285 I'm asking you, Kurt. 195 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:06,445 You can't tell either of them ever, Kurt. 196 00:11:06,445 --> 00:11:09,165 It's just...ich, dich... 197 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,805 Ich dich? 198 00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,445 Yeah. 199 00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:27,085 Dan's here. 200 00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:29,845 That's a joke, right? 201 00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:31,605 What are you all doing here? 202 00:11:31,605 --> 00:11:32,925 Dan's here. 203 00:11:34,765 --> 00:11:36,285 Hi. 204 00:11:36,285 --> 00:11:37,365 Hey. 205 00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:38,725 KIDS: Freeze! 206 00:11:38,725 --> 00:11:41,085 Ha! You're all stuck! 207 00:11:41,085 --> 00:11:44,005 DOORBELL 208 00:11:41,085 --> 00:11:44,005 Yanks. 209 00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,005 It's the Yanks! 210 00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:50,685 Kids, back to bed. Up, up, up, up. 211 00:11:53,605 --> 00:11:55,125 Call me. 212 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,165 Come home. Come home. 213 00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,645 Come home. 214 00:12:15,645 --> 00:12:17,765 BIRDS CHIRP 215 00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:22,245 LEAVES RUSTLE 216 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:31,205 CHIRPING ECHOES 217 00:12:34,245 --> 00:12:37,045 ALARM MELODY ECHOES 218 00:12:49,925 --> 00:12:51,805 DAN GROANS 219 00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:02,485 CAT MEOWS SOFTLY 220 00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:08,965 Hi, kitty. 221 00:13:14,925 --> 00:13:17,365 CAT MEOWS, CARLA SIGHS