1
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:13,765
["Bloom" by Necry Talkie playing]
2
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,226
[song ends]
3
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:46,065
- [pensive music playing]
- [wind whooshing]
4
00:01:52,864 --> 00:01:57,201
[man whimpering]
5
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:02,790
I'm so... alone. [echoing]
6
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,087
[panting]
7
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,046
[groans]
8
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:12,716
[continues panting]
9
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,761
- [wind whooshing]
- [ethereal music playing]
10
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,769
[ethereal music continues]
11
00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,521
[whooshing continues]
12
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,111
The girl of my dreams?
13
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,115
It's time to wake up, dude.
14
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,622
[gasps] I had a dream
about that girl again.
15
00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:44,540
[sighs]
16
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,793
Mmm, I didn't care
the first time you told me.
17
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,211
I care even less now.
18
00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,212
Huh?
19
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:51,547
[grunts, sighs]
20
00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:52,631
[chimes]
21
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:53,549
[grunts]
22
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:58,095
[Scott] But she has cool hair and wheels.
23
00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,805
[Wallace] Wow! So specific.
24
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,433
- When are you getting your own place?
- Isn't this my place?
25
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,645
No, I let you crash here one time,
and you never left.
26
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,313
That's not how I remember it.
27
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,150
[sighs] Could you at least
get your own stuff?
28
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,360
- [yawning]
- I have stuff.
29
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,654
[buzzes and beeps]
30
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,573
- [dishes clattering]
- [Wallace] You do not have stuff.
31
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:21,076
[Scott] Ooh, can I have some?
32
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,329
Some of my coffee?
33
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,081
I don't have to take this guff from you.
34
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,917
You're right. You don't. So leave.
35
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,544
[whimsical music playing]
36
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:32,337
[sips]
37
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,048
I was just about to anyway.
38
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:43,557
[narrator] Toronto, Canada.
Not too long ago.
39
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,268
[amplifier screeches]
40
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,188
- [drum bangs]
- [sticks clank]
41
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,190
[guitar strums]
42
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,692
- [man 1 whistles]
- [woman clears throat]
43
00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:55,694
We are Sex Bob-omb!
44
00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,196
One! Two! Three! Four!
45
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,949
- [rock music playing]
- ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
46
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,829
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
47
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:12,044
♪ Can't find my way around ♪
48
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,924
♪ When the sun comes up, I'm down ♪
49
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,927
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
50
00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:22,054
♪ I feel fine! ♪
51
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:24,932
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
52
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:28,602
- [Stephen] ♪ I don't feel good ♪
- [Kim & Scott] ♪ I feel fine! ♪
53
00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:31,522
[video game chimes]
54
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,611
[amplifier screeches]
55
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,281
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
56
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:42,450
♪ I feel fine! ♪
57
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,453
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
58
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,955
- ♪ I don't feel good! ♪
- ♪ I feel fine! ♪
59
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,331
[music halts]
60
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:52,626
[video game controller clicking]
61
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:58,298
Wow! You might be
the best band of all time.
62
00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,383
We're not.
63
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:03,553
Maybe Knives has really good taste
and knows things others don't.
64
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,930
Wouldn't count on it.
65
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,099
Want to do it again?
66
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,768
Let's do it again!
67
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,812
- [rock music playing]
- ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
68
00:05:13,064 --> 00:05:14,314
[music fades]
69
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:16,859
- [indistinct chatter]
- [horn honks]
70
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,744
Why aren't you bringing
your new girlfriend to Julie's party?
71
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,746
She's not really my girlfriend.
72
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,415
Then what is she?
73
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,710
She's sort of my girlfriend.
74
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,296
Scott, your life is so interesting.
75
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,298
Thanks, Kim.
76
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:42,259
Oh, that was sarcasm.
77
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,553
[party music playing faintly]
78
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,473
All right, you guys want to... What?
79
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,309
[buzzes]
80
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,561
[indistinct chatter]
81
00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,480
[party music continues]
82
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,280
[buzzes]
83
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,991
[enchanting sparkles]
84
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:06,909
[gulps]
85
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,327
[sighs]
86
00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,121
[indistinct chatter continues]
87
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,292
[music distorts, fades]
88
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:18,086
[ethereal swell]
89
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,630
[tender music playing]
90
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:21,882
- [dings]
- [nervous grunt]
91
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:23,634
[ethereal swell]
92
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,972
[fizzing]
93
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,099
[gulps]
94
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:33,894
[bloop]
95
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:37,648
Hey.
96
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,442
Hi.
97
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,944
[plopping]
98
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,738
You know Sonic the Hedgehog?
99
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,492
You probably know this,
but in the early 90s,
100
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:52,162
there were two different Sonic cartoons
airing at the same time.
101
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,789
- [bloop]
- One was dark and dramatic.
102
00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:56,458
The other was a hilarious comedy
about chili dogs.
103
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:59,669
And the same guy played Sonic
in both shows.
104
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:00,754
Isn't that wild?
105
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,924
The same guy playing
two different versions of the same guy?
106
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,467
[chime]
107
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:10,097
Maybe... Maybe you didn't watch cartoons,
or... or you're not into chili dogs.
108
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,475
They're okay.
109
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,894
I mostly watched older stuff
when I was a kid.
110
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,646
You know, Columbo reruns.
111
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:20,107
Reruns. Cool, got it.
112
00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,610
- [whirs]
- Are you real?
113
00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:25,112
Did you just ask me if I was real?
114
00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:28,198
Uh, no, I was talking
to someone else. Bye!
115
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,618
[cranking, squeaking]
116
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,538
- [indistinct chatter]
- [party music playing]
117
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,208
[hyperventilating]
118
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,835
[Julie] Ugh! Why are you here?
119
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,044
Uh, I'm a plus-one.
120
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,963
[scoffs] There were no plus-ones.
121
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:45,757
Everyone here is someone
I invited personally.
122
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,593
My parties are curated.
123
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:52,389
So, do you know
this one girl with hair like this?
124
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,809
Ramona Flowers?
125
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,520
Ramona.
126
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,021
- [Julie] She's from New York City.
- The Big Apple.
127
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,857
She moved here after a bad breakup.
128
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:02,983
[Scott] She's single.
129
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,318
Got a job delivering DVDs for Netflix.
130
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,862
[Scott] DVDs for Netflix.
131
00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,948
- I'm like her only friend in town.
- [Scott] She needs friends.
132
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,451
I forbid you from dating her,
Scott Pilgrim!
133
00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:15,287
Cool. Thanks, Julie. Bye. [whistles]
134
00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:18,248
[computer beeps, whirs]
135
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,541
[mouse clicks]
136
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,500
[keyboard clacking]
137
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,919
[Scott] Wallace, quick!
What movie should I rent?
138
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,671
You're banned from No-Account Video.
139
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,674
You owe, like,
a gajillion dollars in late fees.
140
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:31,428
Not the rental place.
I'm using the World Wide Web.
141
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:32,638
What should I rent?
142
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,055
Hmm.
143
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,475
Something starring a hot guy.
144
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,102
[mouse clicks]
145
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:40,020
[alert chimes]
146
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,564
I think I need the name of a hot guy.
147
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:43,732
Hmm, fine.
148
00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:47,528
Um, Lucas Lee. Best chest in the business.
149
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,614
[Scott] Hmm, Action Doctor,
Let's Hope There's A Heaven,
150
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,615
Thrilled To Be Here.
151
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:55,869
Ooh, The Game Is Over 2!
It's over a second time! That sounds fun.
152
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,121
[mouse clicks]
153
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,499
Uh-- Are you waiting for the DVD?
154
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,459
It's gonna take a bit.
155
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,169
How long could it take?
156
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,088
[Wallace snoring]
157
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,590
[relaxing music playing]
158
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,716
[birds chirping]
159
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,721
[blooping]
160
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,808
- [doorbell rings]
- [gasps]
161
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,685
[ethereal music plays]
162
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,645
Sonic guy?
163
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,398
Yes, that's me.
164
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,526
Are you "Wallace Wells"?
165
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:30,695
No, I'm Scott. Scott Pilgrim.
166
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,906
Wallace is my cool, gay roommate.
167
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,616
He lets me use his credit card.
168
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,742
Oh.
169
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:38,120
So like a sugar daddy situation?
170
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:40,664
Sugar what?
171
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,457
[squawks]
172
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,960
Cool. Enjoy your DVD, Mr. Wells.
173
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,756
- Wait.
- Hmm?
174
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,467
Are... Are you the person in my dreams?
175
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,677
I thought we went over this already.
176
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,804
So, you are? Isn't that weird?
177
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:57,473
It's not weird at all.
178
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,350
- Eh...
- [bloops]
179
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,354
There's just a convenient subspace highway
running through your head.
180
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:06,064
It's like three miles in 15 seconds.
181
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:07,190
- [dramatic sting]
- Eh?
182
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,152
I don't know what that is in kilometers.
183
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,446
Space subways. Totally. I get it.
184
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,240
Anyway, want to go out sometime?
185
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:18,952
You want to go on a date? With me?
186
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,080
Doesn't have to be a date.
It could be a low-key team-up.
187
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:25,292
Canada and America joining forces?
188
00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:29,045
You're new in town. I'm old in town.
What do you think?
189
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,130
[Ramona] Hmm.
190
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,468
[footsteps approaching]
191
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,221
Why are you just standing there?
192
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,598
[chuckling] Dude, I'm waiting on you.
193
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,813
It's getting nice out, eh?
I didn't really need the parka.
194
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,107
What's with the "X" anyway?
195
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,942
Oh, this?
196
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,820
Well, obviously, one of us
went to Professor Xavier's school
197
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,365
for gifted youngsters,
and one of us did not.
198
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,575
Is that a Sonic thing?
199
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,328
Is it Sonic?
200
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,288
No, it isn't.
201
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,125
So, why'd you move to Toronto?
202
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:09,085
Just so you could go to Julie's parties?
203
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,421
[laughs] No.
204
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,465
Well, I got the job
delivering DVDs for Netflix,
205
00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:17,177
and Gideon always said Toronto
is one of the great cities. So...
206
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,388
[Scott] Is Gideon a boyfriend?
207
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:21,890
He's a friend.
208
00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:23,350
[gentle music playing]
209
00:11:23,434 --> 00:11:24,935
So, what do you do?
210
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,146
I'm between jobs.
211
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:30,315
[Ramona] Between what and what?
212
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:34,027
Well, my last job is
a really long story filled with sighs.
213
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,530
Maybe we can get into it
in a later episode.
214
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:41,744
We don't have to talk about our pasts.
It's my least favorite subject.
215
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,291
I should have checked the weather.
Guess you need that parka now.
216
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:52,171
It's just a little bit of snow.
Did it snow where you came from?
217
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,173
[chuckles] I thought
we were avoiding the past.
218
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:58,677
Where you're from?
That's not the past. That's a location.
219
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,887
[laughs] Fine.
220
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,222
Where are you from?
221
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,224
[Scott] Up north.
222
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:05,184
Ah.
223
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,395
Then you're used to
this kind of weather, right?
224
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,565
Yeah. Are you?
225
00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:14,109
I grew up in the mountains, man.
226
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,194
Did you do a lot of skiing?
227
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,488
No, not really.
228
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:18,822
Yeah.
229
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:19,781
[music distorts]
230
00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,032
[rewinds]
231
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,701
[sinister music playing]
232
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:23,660
Hmm.
233
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,039
- [music intensifies]
- [electronic whirring]
234
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,792
Bring me Matthew Patel.
235
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,503
The game has begun.
236
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:34,963
[Scott] Do you ice skate?
237
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,133
I assumed, considering you rollerblade.
238
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,636
I did figure skating when I was four.
239
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,804
[clicks tongue] Ah, look at that.
240
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:43,722
[wind whooshing]
241
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,765
You got me talking about the past again.
242
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,352
You're quite the trickster, Scott Pilgrim.
243
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,562
And I wasn't even trying.
244
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,942
- [Scott shivering]
- This really picked up.
245
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:56,943
[wind whooshing]
246
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,195
Ramona, I can't see you!
247
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,448
Relax. Take my hand.
248
00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:03,450
[Scott continues shivering]
249
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:06,119
There should be a door around here.
250
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,247
[ethereal music playing]
251
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:13,460
Huh?
252
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,587
What?
253
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,089
[Scott grunts]
254
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,216
[Ramona sighs]
255
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,135
[Scott] This is your apartment.
256
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,805
So, that star door
was one of your space subways?
257
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,973
Basically. Yeah.
258
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,267
Good thing this wasn't a real date.
259
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,061
Otherwise, it would qualify
as a major disaster.
260
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,313
[chuckles]
261
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,816
I'll make us some tea.
262
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,403
[Scott shivering]
263
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,030
You look like you're dying.
264
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:43,907
Let me get you a blanket.
265
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,367
- [timer ticking]
- [gentle music playing]
266
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,578
[continues shivering]
267
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,038
[timer continues ticking]
268
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:52,416
[wind whooshing]
269
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,343
- Dude, I'm changing.
- [gasps] Ah!
270
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:06,638
Sorry. I'm just cold and innocent.
271
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:09,391
There you go.
Now I can't see anything. That's better.
272
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,935
Does this help?
273
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,812
- [Scott] Oh.
- I'm cold too.
274
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,733
- [ethereal music playing]
- [Scott gasps]
275
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,651
[both gasp]
276
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:22,738
[ethereal music continues]
277
00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:26,991
[enchanting sparkles]
278
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,119
- Sparks.
- Uh-huh.
279
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:34,499
Were you... Were you just gonna bring
the blanket from your bed?
280
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,834
I guess.
281
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:41,006
Maybe we could both get under it
while it's on the bed
282
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,926
since we're both... cold.
283
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,136
[both moan]
284
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,056
[gentle music playing]
285
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:52,267
[both moan gently]
286
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,645
[Ramona exhales]
287
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,773
I... I'm not sure if I'm ready.
288
00:14:58,982 --> 00:14:59,942
[Ramona sighs]
289
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,568
I changed my mind.
290
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,946
From what to what?
291
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,824
I don't wanna have sex with you, Pilgrim.
Not right now.
292
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,494
That's okay. That's cool.
293
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:14,080
I'm not gonna send you home
in a snowstorm, or anything.
294
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:15,457
You can sleep in my bed.
295
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:19,962
And I reserve the right to change
my mind about the sex later.
296
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,382
- Awesome.
- [kisses]
297
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,011
[electronic whirring]
298
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,432
You sent for me?
299
00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:33,600
I did.
300
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,729
I just wanted to say thanks
for creating this league.
301
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,272
It's pretty high-concept.
302
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,441
I didn't bring you here for flattery.
303
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,360
Things have taken a turn.
304
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,905
It seems our dear Ramona has a new suitor.
305
00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,157
[Matthew] It's really happening?
Who is he?
306
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:52,744
My interns compiled
extensive research on the subject.
307
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:58,249
Scott Pilgrim, 23-years-old.
Lives in Toronto, Canada.
308
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,709
Jobless, hopeless.
309
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,503
He's in an indie band
of subjective quality.
310
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,172
[Matthew] How long have they been dating?
311
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:08,718
[Gideon] They've been on one date,
but he's currently sleeping in her bed.
312
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,136
That bastard!
313
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:14,016
Indeed.
But this is where it gets interesting.
314
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,476
Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler.
315
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,394
What?
316
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:21,814
Wait, I... I'm sorry.
Did you say he's dating a high schooler?
317
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,358
[Gideon] Dating may be a strong word.
318
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:28,363
Our intel says they've never kissed,
but they did hold hands once.
319
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,199
[Matthew sighs] Does Ramona know?
320
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,826
[Gideon] He hasn't told her yet.
321
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,705
Wow! And I thought we were evil.
322
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,998
What's his fight experience?
323
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:43,628
He's been described as, quote,
"The best fighter in the province."
324
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:44,879
Unquote.
325
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,340
Ooh, this scumbag sounds like a challenge.
326
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,675
Are you worried?
327
00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:52,887
[scoffs] No, I'm glad it won't be easy.
I'll relish this victory.
328
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,431
Ramona's new guy
is gonna wish he was never born
329
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,934
because his brutal death is inevitable!
330
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,019
Because of me.
331
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,521
Because I'm gonna kill him.
332
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,023
And then he'll be dead.
333
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:09,821
I hope Scott Pilgrim enjoys the final few
days of his precious little life.
334
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:14,951
- [both laughing maniacally]
- [dramatic music playing]
335
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,120
- [groans]
- [pops]
336
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,872
- [sniffles, yawns]
- [birds chirping]
337
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,333
[Scott] What time is it?
338
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,376
Not quite 8:00 a.m.
339
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,713
I have to work, so you have to leave.
340
00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:27,714
[whoosh]
341
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,133
[whoosh]
342
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:33,219
[Scott] Hey, can this not be
a one-night stand?
343
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,555
For one thing,
I'm not even sure if it would count.
344
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,473
Hmm?
345
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:38,725
I'll consider it.
346
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,478
- [faucet running]
- [cat meows]
347
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,605
What did you have in mind?
348
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:45,940
Um...
349
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:49,986
Oh! My band has a show tonight.
At the Rockit, 9:00 p.m.
350
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,655
You have a band?
351
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,158
- Yeah. We're terrible. Please come.
- [chimes]
352
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,201
Um...
353
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,872
Yeah, okay. 9:00 p.m.
The Rockit. I'll be there.
354
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,749
[rock music playing]
355
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,251
[enchanting sparkle]
356
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:08,588
[enchanting sparkles]
357
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:10,923
[chimes]
358
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,301
I bet you're wondering
why I never came home last night.
359
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,053
[Wallace] I did wonder how I got so lucky.
360
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,638
Well, actually,
I am the one who got lucky,
361
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:22,394
because I spent the night
with the girl of, or from, my dreams.
362
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:24,562
Ramona Flowers.
363
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:25,605
Congrats.
364
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:29,400
You need to break up
with your fake high school girlfriend.
365
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,903
Ugh, do I have to?
366
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:34,489
I mean, are we really even dating?
367
00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:37,283
Knives thinks you are,
and Knives is an angel.
368
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,786
- [door shuts]
- You need to end it immediately.
369
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:43,456
Fine, you're right. I'll do it.
370
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,750
Good.
371
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,836
By the way, there's a letter for you.
372
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,677
"Dear Mr. Pilgrim,
my name is Matthew Patel."
373
00:18:56,303 --> 00:19:01,057
"I challenge you to a..." blah, blah, blah,
something about fighting...
374
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,558
- [tense music playing]
- [mumbling]
375
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,644
"League of Evil Exes..."
376
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:05,978
[music halts]
377
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,481
More like a League of boring.
378
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,611
- You coming to our show tonight?
- Unfortunately, yes.
379
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:16,656
[rock music playing faintly]
380
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,783
- [enchanted swell]
- [gasps]
381
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,788
[gasps]
382
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,498
[Wallace] Hey, Knives.
383
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,125
Have you met Stacey?
384
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:31,087
Wow! I've heard so much about you.
385
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,089
So, how goes it?
386
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,843
I am 16 kinds of pumped
to see Sex Bob-omb tonight.
387
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,303
That's how it goes!
388
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,889
I feel so excited
I might actually pass out!
389
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,558
[slurping]
390
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,979
Boy, it sure seems like nobody delivered
crushing news to you today.
391
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:51,774
Crushing? Like, a bad kind of crushing?
392
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,776
[Stacey] Oh, you poor thing! [sighs]
393
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,987
You're better than him.
Just know that. Okay?
394
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,780
- Better than who?
- [clicks]
395
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,115
Hmm? [gasps]
396
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,992
- Scott!
- [gasps]
397
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,160
[Wallace slurping loudly]
398
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,204
[Scott whimpers]
399
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,956
- [Scott groans]
- [chuckling]
400
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,085
- [tense music playing]
- [Scott] I... I... I have to go.
401
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,587
Huh?
402
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,507
[Scott groans]
403
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,969
Why are you stressing, Scott?
404
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,971
Who's stressing? Stephen's stressing.
405
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,724
Of course I'm stressing.
The opening band pulled out.
406
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,850
They flaked!
407
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,270
[Young Neil] Crash and the Boys flaked?
408
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,523
[Kim] I heard they were changing it
to just "Crash" and losing the "Boys."
409
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,650
[Young Neil growls]
You can't call a band "Crash."
410
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,237
Crash is a cult classic car crash sex film
shot right here in Toronto.
411
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,114
[Kim] I didn't know you were a cinephile.
412
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:41,490
[Young Neil] What's a cinephile?
413
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,451
[Stephen] Ugh, Crash, Boys.
414
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,829
Either way, they probably
canceled because they think we suck.
415
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,123
We probably do.
416
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,166
That's not funny, Kim.
417
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,752
If we suck,
then the audience won't like us.
418
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:53,962
They'll think we suck.
419
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,173
- Maybe we should cancel the show.
- [Scott] Hey.
420
00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:01,177
There's only one way to find out
if we suck, and that's by playing...
421
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,178
now.
422
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,266
[indistinct chatter]
423
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,519
- [man laughs]
- [guitar strums]
424
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,690
[band tuning instruments]
425
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,236
So, are you a fan of Sex Bob-omb?
426
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:21,530
No, I'm kind of
seeing someone in the band.
427
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,867
- [gasps]
- That's crazy! I am too!
428
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,285
Who are you dating in the band?
429
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,412
We are Sex Bob-omb!
430
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,164
One! Two! Three! Four!
431
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,417
- [rock music playing]
- ♪ In your orange shirt ♪
432
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,879
♪ We'll go for yogurt ♪
433
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,216
♪ Wish I could paint you
Whoa-oh-oh ♪
434
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,636
♪ I'd never do you justice ♪
435
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,848
♪ Oh yeah ♪
436
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,142
♪ Oh yeah ♪
437
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:52,853
[gasping, groans]
438
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,940
♪ I only wanted to be near you ♪
439
00:21:56,024 --> 00:21:59,402
♪ I only wanted to be close to someone ♪
440
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:02,780
- ♪ I only wanted to be next to you ♪
- [electronic zaps]
441
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:03,823
[gasps]
442
00:22:03,907 --> 00:22:06,158
[crackles, loud explosion]
443
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,660
Mr. Pilgrim.
444
00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:08,995
[wind whooshing]
445
00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:10,663
- [dramatic swell]
- [grunts]
446
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:11,664
[gasps]
447
00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:14,042
[Matthew grunts, yells]
448
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:16,961
[Matthew grunts]
449
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:18,587
[announcer] Reversal!
450
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:19,923
[exhales]
451
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,175
[grunts]
452
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,803
Wait, hold on.
453
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,680
Who are you exactly,
and why are we fighting?
454
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:30,099
Uh, aren't you Scott Pilgrim?
455
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,559
Depends who's asking.
456
00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:33,602
It is I...
457
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,730
[upbeat music playing]
458
00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:38,149
[enchanting pops]
459
00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:42,153
...Matthew Patel,
Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend.
460
00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:43,321
[music halts]
461
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:44,989
[Ramona] Uh...
462
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:48,534
Cool. And you're here because...?
463
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:49,828
Didn't you read my letter?
464
00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:52,038
- Kind of.
- [Matthew grunts]
465
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,707
- I hand-delivered it during a blizzard.
- [wind whooshing]
466
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,209
Remind me what it said, exactly.
467
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,295
[Matthew exclaims, growls]
468
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:03,382
It said,
“Ramona Flowers has seven evil exes,
469
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:05,718
each more powerful than the last."
470
00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:08,429
"All of whom you must defeat
in order to date her.”
471
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:09,847
[ex 1] We're evil exes.
472
00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:11,265
[ex 2] We dated Ramona.
473
00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:14,560
- [ex 3] Evil.
- [ex 4] Evil.
474
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,521
[Matthew] It was a very detailed letter!
475
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:17,980
You knew about this?
476
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:21,317
[Ramona] Right, yeah, um,
I heard about it.
477
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,985
I sort of thought it was a joke?
478
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,321
- And you really dated this guy?
- [strums]
479
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,573
Yeah. In middle school.
480
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,575
- [ethereal swell]
- [gentle music playing]
481
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,827
It was football season,
and for some reason,
482
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,371
all the little jocks wanted me.
483
00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:37,333
Matthew Patel was the only
non-white, non-jock boy in school,
484
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:40,044
maybe the only one for miles around.
485
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:43,673
So, we joined forces and took 'em all out.
486
00:23:44,174 --> 00:23:46,175
Nothing could beat
Matthew's mystical powers
487
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,344
combined with my brute strength.
488
00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:53,140
We only kissed once, and we were quits
after something like a week and a half.
489
00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:55,226
He didn't even get truly evil
until high school,
490
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:57,478
and by that time, he lived far, far away.
491
00:23:57,562 --> 00:23:59,772
- [grinding teeth angrily]
- Mystical powers?
492
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,023
Unfair.
493
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:04,068
- [upbeat music playing]
- All's fair in love and, uh...
494
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,236
[music distorts]
495
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,988
War? I... I think it's war.
496
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:09,657
Time to fight!
497
00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:10,574
[zaps]
498
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,244
[announcer] Matthew Patel
versus Scott Pilgrim.
499
00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:15,204
Round one. Fight.
500
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,414
[bell rings]
501
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,332
[Scott grunts]
502
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:20,126
[panting]
503
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,502
[Matthew grunts, exhales]
504
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:23,421
[Matthew panting]
505
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,631
[both yelling]
506
00:24:25,715 --> 00:24:27,675
[intense music playing]
507
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,846
- [Matthew grunts]
- [Scott gasps]
508
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,015
[Matthew yells]
509
00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:36,559
[gasps]
510
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,519
[ethereal beeps]
511
00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:39,812
- [coins jingle]
- [ethereal ding]
512
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:40,813
[gasps]
513
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:42,440
- Huh?
- [spits]
514
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:44,025
- Hmm.
- [gasps]
515
00:24:44,901 --> 00:24:46,110
[announcer] KO?
516
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:53,034
I won?
517
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:55,703
I won!
518
00:24:56,204 --> 00:24:59,081
[dramatic music playing]
519
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:00,416
[enchanted sparkle]
520
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:06,922
[gentle music playing]
521
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,132
[exhales]
522
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:09,050
[sighs]
523
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,011
["Breathless" by X playing]
524
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:16,807
♪ Now, if you love me
Please don't tease ♪
525
00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:19,393
♪ If I can hold
Well, then let me squeeze ♪
526
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,770
♪ My heart goes 'round and 'round ♪
527
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,856
♪ My love comes tumblin' down ♪
528
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:28,987
♪ You leave me, ahh
Breathless, ahh ♪
529
00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:33,908
♪ Well, I shake all over
And you know why ♪
530
00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:36,535
♪ I'm sure it's love
Honey, it ain't no lie ♪
531
00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:41,040
♪ 'Cause when you call my name
You know I burn like wooden flame ♪
532
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:46,129
♪ You leave me, ahh
Breathless, ahh ♪
533
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:50,967
♪ Ooh, baby, you're driving me crazy ♪
534
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:55,596
♪ You're much too much
I cannot love you enough ♪
535
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,973
♪ It's all right, hold me tight ♪
536
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:02,895
♪ When you love me, love me right ♪
537
00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:05,481
♪ Come on, baby, now don't be shy ♪
538
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:07,775
♪ This love was meant for you and I ♪
539
00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:12,530
♪ Wind, rain, sleet of snow
I'm gonna getcha wherever you go ♪
540
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:17,702
♪ You leave me, ahh
Breathless, ahh ♪
541
00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,598
[song fades]