1
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,433
Mom!
2
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,393
I think something happened to Dad.
3
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,770
What? No! I would've heard something.
4
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,946
- Santa's down! Santa's down!
- Do you hear me?
5
00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:32,282
- What are we gonna do?
- Everybody, calm down!
6
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:35,410
Santa, Santa, do you copy? Santa?
7
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,287
- Noel?
- What's happening?
8
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,788
We've got a Code Sprinkle.
9
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,707
Thank God! I thought it was something bad.
10
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,459
It means Santa's down.
11
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,918
- What?
- Christmas is ruined!
12
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,670
Why would you name it something so cute?
13
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,074
Is this really it?
14
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,618
All the things I never got to do.
15
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,496
The Christmases I never had
with my family.
16
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,706
I just hope Carol doesn't remarry.
17
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,168
Forgive me, Santa,
for what I'm about to do.
18
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,213
Wake up!
19
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,964
Ow.
20
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,257
Why are you yelling?
21
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,927
Because when my best friend's laying
on the ground non-responsive
22
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,596
for 15 minutes, I yell!
23
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,264
Did I rip my sack?
24
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,766
No, it's still up on the roof.
25
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,850
Oh, good.
26
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,937
Let's go, but don't tell anybody
I fell off the roof.
27
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,355
Got it. No one but Betty.
28
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,731
Not Betty. Nobody.
29
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,359
Right. I won't tell a soul,
except Mrs. Claus--
30
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,777
Not Mrs. Claus.
31
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,695
- And Betty.
- Not Betty.
32
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:55,323
- Doc Martin.
- No. Not my doctor. No one.
33
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,872
No, no, no!
Cut the bubbles! Cut the bubbles!
34
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,542
Everyone, there's been an incident.
Oh, my gosh! No, no, no!
35
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,002
Hide the cake! Hide the cake!
Back, back, back!
36
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,754
Everyone, be quiet! Everybody, quiet!
37
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,382
There's been an incident,
but don't panic! Okay? Don't panic.
38
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,592
I say don't panic,
but I'm totally panicking!
39
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,179
Okay, everyone, this way, this way!
40
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,348
Let's give them some space.
Let's give them some space.
41
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,350
Come on! This way, this way.
Going, going, going...
42
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,811
Oh, Scott! We were so worried again.
43
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,646
Oh, gosh. Do you mean about tonight?
44
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:27,939
- Yeah.
- You know me.
45
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,607
The world's greatest showman.
46
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,609
I was just goofing on everybody.
47
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:32,735
We should be celebrating.
48
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,988
Where's all the music and merriment?
49
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,031
- What happened up there tonight?
- It's not a big deal.
50
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,449
Nothing, Butter Cake.
51
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,201
Everything was super-duper.
52
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:41,661
Peachy keen.
53
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,912
Hunky-dory.
54
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,455
Easy as pie.
55
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,540
Boffo.
56
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,292
Gangbusters.
57
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,668
Dope.
58
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,588
- Noel.
- Not cracking. Not cracking.
59
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,672
Just tell her.
60
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,384
- The Big Man fell off the roof!
- Oh, Scott.
61
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,762
It was horrible!
My whole life flashed before my eyes!
62
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,639
Santa was in it more than you.
63
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,017
He never said, "I love you," but I knew.
64
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,311
I'm so sorry I lied to you!
65
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,442
We need to talk about something,
in private.
66
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,155
- Better now?
- No.
67
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,948
Give me my reading glasses.
Where are they?
68
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,533
They're on your face.
69
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,203
Better now?
70
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:24,787
Yeah, there we go.
71
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,208
{\an8}The Seuss-uses. Seuss-uses Clause?
72
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,084
What in the green eggs and ham is that?
73
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,837
- Not "seuss-uses." "Secessus."
- Seuss-and-says.
74
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,172
- Secessus.
- Seuss-a-sesses.
75
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,924
- Secessus!
- Gesundheit.
76
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,594
It means "retirement" in Latin,
aka throwing in the towel,
77
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,638
- giving up, not being Santa anymore...
- I understand.
78
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,723
...spending your life sitting around
and yelling at the TV.
79
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,684
Right, I understand what retirement is.
Why am I looking at this?
80
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,019
Did you read the fine print?
81
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,480
There isn't a magnifying glass big enough.
82
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,858
To summarize,
it's an addendum to the Santa Clause,
83
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,902
giving Santa a clean way out
84
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,822
if he no longer has the capacity
and/or desire to do the job anymore.
85
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:11,626
So... me not being Santa anymore?
86
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,127
Hmm?
87
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,798
Mm-hmm.
88
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,070
Can you believe Betty suggested
that I retire?
89
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,031
Santa? Retire?
Can you imagine such a thing?
90
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,199
Are you packing?
91
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:48,579
No! I'm just, you know, seeing if I have
any of my pre-Mrs. Claus clothes in here.
92
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,708
So, you and I retire.
93
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,459
Living in an RV.
94
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:57,130
Big step down from what I've been
driving around here for 29 years.
95
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,133
Hey. I love it here. I really do.
96
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:04,554
But sometimes I think that
it might be nice to try something new.
97
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,098
To be able to let my hair down. Literally.
98
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,727
I know why. You feel marginalized here
as Mrs. Claus. I get that, you know?
99
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,604
But think about how many popcorn tins
you've had that beautiful face on.
100
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,231
Yeah, you mean like that one.
101
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,692
- Yeah.
- Yeah? [chuckles] Okay.
102
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:21,529
So, this is exactly how I'm perceived.
103
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,116
Dumpy, void of all personality and appeal,
104
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,244
and somehow humorless
while still providing comic relief.
105
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,497
That reindeer loves those bloomers.
106
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:38,296
I'm not saying that I want to leave...
107
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,380
Hmm.
108
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,632
...but last night was a wake-up call.
109
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,843
You fell off a roof, and I didn't like it.
110
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,261
- You didn't like it?
- No.
111
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,971
I fell on a sprinkler, honey.
112
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,390
This is the second year in a row
something bad has happened.
113
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,268
The kids were worried. Even Cal was aware
that something was wrong.
114
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,478
- Cal?
- Yeah.
115
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,604
- Aware?
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,315
I'm not sure that kid's aware
that he wears pj's all the time.
117
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,567
I know. He just had a feeling.
118
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,902
That's weird.
119
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,945
Wait a minute. Just slipped my mind.
120
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,073
- Okay.
- I have kids.
121
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,616
How hard did you hit your head?
122
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,659
I think I have a way
for me to find a new Santa
123
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,370
and still stay here at the North Pole.
124
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,788
I gotta tell Betty.
125
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,915
Scott! You still have your pajamas on!
126
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:14,999
Okay then!
127
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:16,876
Never mind.
128
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,586
{\an8}Hey, Betty. Betty, Betty.
129
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,213
You in here? Hey.
130
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,840
Santa, you're in your pajamas.
131
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,925
Oh, I get it.
132
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,968
You're saying I'm senile, right?
133
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:28,096
That's your way to push me
into retirement.
134
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,015
I'm not forcing you.
I merely pointed out an option.
135
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,142
- Ah.
- It's better than you having an accident.
136
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,685
Putting me out of my misery, huh?
137
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,063
Don't think I haven't noticed
how you've been looking at me.
138
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,066
It's just the way I look, sir.
I've been told it's unsettling.
139
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:43,361
Hmm. Listen.
I'm not saying I'm gonna retire.
140
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,197
The only thing I hate more than gardening
is garden gnomes.
141
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,365
Gnomes.
142
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,867
If I were to retire, how would that work?
143
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,328
The Secessus Clause states that
144
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,248
you may step down once
you've effectively completed your mission.
145
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,000
Well, if my mission was to be awesome,
I've already accomplished that.
146
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,919
And chosen a proper successor.
147
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,548
So, the Secessus Clause has
a successor subsection.
148
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,049
Sensational.
149
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,760
Are you actually considering this?
Retirement?
150
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,513
I know it's big news. Probably dramatic.
I'll give you some time.
151
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,182
- I want you to think about it.
- Here's a list of possible replacements.
152
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,392
Give me a break.
153
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,770
You just found out
about this Sausalito Clause yesterday.
154
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,605
It's my job to be efficient.
155
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,276
Well, listen.
I think I can save us both a lot of time.
156
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,403
I already picked my replacement.
157
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:26,988
Charlie.
158
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,994
Where are all the grown-ups?
159
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,079
This is so cool!
160
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,123
He's been to the North Pole many times,
you know?
161
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,541
He's done the rounds with me.
162
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,585
He's always wanted to be
in the family business.
163
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,462
It's almost too perfect.
164
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,755
Yeah, too perfect, like that's a thing.
165
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,424
Come on, Betty. Go with me on this.
166
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,009
We bring him in early, huh?
167
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,094
He already knows how things work
in the real world.
168
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:53,222
He can handle the trickier roofs.
I can stay at the North Pole.
169
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:56,225
It could be Santa Claus and Son.
170
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,352
Two Santas? Ugh. This isn't the Vatican.
171
00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:00,313
- Santa! There you are.
- Hey.
172
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,732
- Love the pj's.
- The what?
173
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,527
Why didn't you tell me
I was in my pajamas?
174
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,910
Question!
175
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:18,206
If you could have anything in the world,
what would it be?
176
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:22,126
Aspirin. Because I get a headache
every time you talk.
177
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,340
Well, in about three minutes,
your headache's gonna be history.
178
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:31,886
Now, you all know my esteemed colleague
and butterfly-kisses-giver, Grace.
179
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,679
Hi.
180
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,432
Now, Grace here represents
today's consumer. So, I'll ask her.
181
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,601
- What is it you want?
- Everything.
182
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,436
- And when do you want it?
- Now!
183
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,437
Very cute.
184
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,440
Look, as a tech innovator and toymaker,
you're a genius,
185
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,567
which is why we invested in your company.
186
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,445
But your management ineptitude
is costing us greatly.
187
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,739
- Hmm.
- I've had to Airbnb my yacht.
188
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,824
It smells like nachos now.
189
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,577
- That's why we called this meeting.
- I thought we called this meeting.
190
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,830
If you can't turn things around quickly,
we're cutting you off.
191
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:03,751
That's why we're here,
to, uh, show you our new delivery system.
192
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,170
Drones.
193
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,759
Every company has tried drones.
The cons far outweigh the pros.
194
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,636
Well, my drones are different.
195
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,473
They're faster, wily, self-learning.
196
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:21,310
They scope and assess the most
efficient way to deliver an order.
197
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,646
It'll even drive Santa Claus
out of business.
198
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,649
And just like Santa Claus,
none of what you're saying is real.
199
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,317
Come on. Not in front of the kid, okay?
200
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,027
What? She's old enough to hear the truth.
201
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:33,781
Your daddy can't deliver on his promises.
Only headaches.
202
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,159
I'll accept your apology in 20 seconds.
203
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,537
Here's your aspirin.
204
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,666
Now how did you do that so fast?
205
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,626
I told you, my drones are special.
206
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,921
And once we have fulfillment centers
in every hundred-mile radius,
207
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,425
we're gonna be able to promise delivery
in 60 minutes or less.
208
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,511
Okay.
209
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,849
Oh, uh, no, no, no.
G-Go around. Uh, uh--
210
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,392
Detour! Detour! Go around!
211
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,560
Detour! No!
212
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,103
No!
213
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,034
Ta-da!
214
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,454
Get out of here. Now!
215
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,465
Whoo!
216
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,469
Hey, Dad!
217
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,928
Charlie.
218
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,930
- Good to see you!
- Good to see you too.
219
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:40,973
Come on in.
220
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:46,145
So, uh, I read your icicle,
and I'm excited to hear this big news.
221
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:49,649
I didn't mean to make it mysterious.
I wanted to see your face when I told you.
222
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,400
I'm liking the new duds too.
223
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,694
Let me guess.
You just opened Jurassic Park?
224
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,447
Yes. And the velociraptors are this way.
225
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,117
Wow, you really have lost weight.
You weren't kidding.
226
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,787
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's actually become kind of a nightmare.
227
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:06,207
They've lowered all the flags
at the North Pole buffet to half-staff.
228
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,875
And I'm losing magic.
229
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,211
Yeah. You mentioned that. I'm sorry, Dad.
230
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:14,006
Well, listen, my loss could be your gain,
but before we start talking about this,
231
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,050
I think I have some grandkids
to say "hi" to.
232
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,760
- Yay, Grandpa!
- There's my guys!
233
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,804
Big, two wonderful boys. Look at this.
234
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,430
Why are you so wet, Grandpa?
235
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,683
I'm like a washcloth, aren't I?
I'm kind of soppy--
236
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,268
Guys, Grandpa's not used to the heat.
237
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,979
No. [chuckles] At all.
238
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:32,274
Lemonade just the way you like it.
No lemon, extra sugar.
239
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:34,402
Oh.
240
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,404
My favorite daughter-in-law.
241
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,573
Although, I'd probably say that to anybody
bringing me this right about now.
242
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:42,993
Okay.
243
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,454
Here's why I'm here.
244
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,417
I am retiring, and I want you
to take over the family business
245
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,836
just like you've always wanted to.
246
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,172
Uh. Wow.
247
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,216
Um. Retirement.
248
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,260
I didn't even know you could do that.
249
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,054
Good for you. This is-- This is--
250
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,056
- This is gigantic news, right? Yeah.
- Yes.
251
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,226
I mean, I don't--
I don't really know what to say.
252
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,310
No.
253
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:09,812
Say no.
254
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,231
Sorry, Scott, I have a career here.
255
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,776
I'm not moving to Greenland
to catch and sell shrimp.
256
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,448
Can I have a moment with Charlie?
Privately. Just one moment.
257
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,324
- Babe, give us a sec.
- Nope. Uh-uh.
258
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,326
- Just one sec.
-'Cause you'll do anything for him.
259
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,454
- Just--
- I'm not raising my kids on a trawler.
260
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,165
Smelly, damp, swearing sea children.
261
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,042
And what about me?
I get seasick standing on the beach.
262
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,086
No. No! The answer's no!
263
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,673
Huh. You haven't told her.
I can't believe you haven't told her.
264
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,633
I've been waiting
to find the right moment,
265
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:42,928
but there's not really a good moment
to say, "My dad's Santa Claus."
266
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,514
Now's a pretty good moment.
Otherwise, she'll be at the North Pole
267
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,184
and wonder why
people are calling her Mrs. Claus.
268
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,144
A-About that, Dad.
269
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,605
Look, I-I love you.
270
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:56,525
And I cherish all the time we had
in the sleigh together.
271
00:12:56,525 --> 00:13:00,154
But... it's just asking a lot.
272
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:03,032
Is this because of Marie?
I mean, come on. She'll warm up to it.
273
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,950
- Not literally--
- It's not that, Dad.
274
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,662
Okay, it's-- it's the North Pole.
275
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:12,374
It's just--
It's not the best place to raise kids.
276
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,667
Oh, stop.
277
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,712
North Pole is like a circus mixed
with a zoo and a playground
278
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,214
on top of a Tilt-A-Whirl.
279
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,590
- That's my point.
- What?
280
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,133
It's just too much.
281
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,844
Cal and Sandra are okay.
282
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,679
Are they though?
283
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,974
You do know that
I've spent time with them, right?
284
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,726
And th-that's not a criticism.
285
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,728
I mean, you're-- you're a great father.
286
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,563
It's the job though.
287
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:38,567
It's just-- It's not conducive
to being an engaged parent.
288
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,277
Hmm.
289
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:46,367
I came down here
with this dream in my head
290
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,536
that we'd work together
for a couple of years.
291
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,662
I'd teach you the ropes,
292
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,122
and then you'd take over
when I couldn't do it.
293
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,291
It was just something
I was thinking about.
294
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,001
I'm sorry, Dad.
295
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,171
Thanks for asking me though.
It means the world.
296
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,256
Come here.
297
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,633
I love you so much,
and I'll be all right. It'll work out.
298
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,719
Okay. I am starting to think
you don't run a shrimp company.
299
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,264
No, no, no.
Do you remember when we first met?
300
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,015
We were at that seafood restaurant?
301
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,601
Someone's eating shrimp next to us,
so I thought of shrimp.
302
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,687
- That's the best I could come up with.
- So you lied.
303
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:18,274
Which means that you're
either in the CIA or the mob.
304
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,025
- No, no, no, no.
- No, no. It's not--
305
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,361
Listen, it's actually crazier than that,
306
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,573
and Charlie is gonna have a great time
explaining it to you after I'm gone
307
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,533
because I have a deer to catch.
308
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,369
And I already know what the boys want
for Christmas next year!
309
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,912
- Thanks, Dad.
- Talk.
310
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,915
I'm gonna miss the endless cider.
311
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,375
You know what I won't miss?
312
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,918
Velvet capes.
313
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,005
I don't like wearing anything
that Ozzy Osbourne wore better.
314
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,591
Well, I'll miss our cider o'clock.
315
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,050
Me too.
316
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,889
So, can I ask you something
about the previous Mrs. Claus?
317
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,349
I'm not allowed to discuss
those who came before.
318
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,436
I've never understood
the secrecy around here.
319
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,397
Who am I going to tell?
I don't know any people.
320
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:05,112
Santa is Santa, always and forever,
a continuum, not an individual.
321
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:09,199
Thus, there are no past Santas,
and the same for Mrs. Claus.
322
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,243
I don't make the rules.
323
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,079
I just enforce them
with steadfast intensity.
324
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,206
You know who would be a great Santa?
325
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,291
You.
326
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:18,918
Elves can't be Santa.
327
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,795
More weird rules.
This place would crumble without you.
328
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:23,923
I'm just happy to serve.
329
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,716
Besides, it's going to be Charlie.
330
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,176
Charlie's out!
331
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:29,970
Said didn't wanna do it.
332
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:33,098
He doesn't think the North Pole
is the best place to raise children.
333
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,391
Am I doing this to our kids?
334
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:38,020
- No, you are a terrific dad.
- Yeah.
335
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,689
Raising kids at the North Pole
is challenging.
336
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,232
- Exactly. Yeah.
- Yes! I mean,
337
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:45,527
that's probably why Cal is lost
in his imaginary virtual world.
338
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,530
- He's not lost. I wouldn't say lost.
- And how Sandra only likes animals.
339
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:51,367
We did a study on human kids raised here,
340
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:55,746
and the conclusion is that
they turn out very weird.
341
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,957
Well, how many kids have been raised here?
342
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,917
- Including Cal and Sandra?
- Yeah.
343
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:01,627
Two.
344
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,920
- What?
- What?
345
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,255
I think I've had too much cider.
I have to go.
346
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:08,008
No, wait! No, no more secrets.
347
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,427
Tell us who came before and, hey!
348
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:14,306
Why does Mrs. Claus have to look
like a timeworn, overstuffed armchair?
349
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,062
Sometimes I feel like
I'm not heard around here.
350
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,232
You're totally right.
I gotta spend more time with the kids.
351
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,818
That's not what I said.
352
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:31,365
It's beautiful up here.
This just never gets old.
353
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,491
Isn't this--
354
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,369
Hey, take the goggles off, please.
355
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,456
What are we doing out here, Dad?
356
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,666
- Am I in trouble?
- No.
357
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,459
You only spend time with me
when I'm in trouble.
358
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,462
That's not true.
I took you ice fishing that one time. Huh?
359
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,632
I thought that's because I was in trouble.
It was so horrible.
360
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,427
That's the problem
with this VR stuff, you know?
361
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,638
You spend so much time in virtual reality.
Look where you live!
362
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,932
You live at the North Pole.
It's a magical place.
363
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,684
Kids everywhere would kill to live here.
364
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,269
Scary.
365
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:02,896
Hey, speaking of killing,
366
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:07,192
you ever think about if some psycho
learns about the Santa Clause
367
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,278
and sets a trap out for your coat?
368
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,488
All the time.
369
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:14,491
I think about it too
when I have dreams where I'm Santa.
370
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,578
You have dreams that you're Santa?
371
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,497
Yeah, super vivid dreams, yeah.
372
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:22,791
That's amazing.
I never even thought of that.
373
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,918
That could be the answer
to all my problems.
374
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,837
We could keep it in the family.
375
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,798
I wouldn't have to leave.
We could start now.
376
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,508
You're getting this crazy look
in your eye.
377
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:32,968
I could teach you how to drive.
378
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,387
- I already know how to drive.
- Here you go. Hold on to those.
379
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,347
Where are the buttons? I need a console.
380
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,309
If you wanna go, all you do--
Just pull on this one.
381
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,937
- Good. A bit more. More. No, not--
- Whoa! Whoa!
382
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:47,066
Ho ho! Here we go!
383
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,776
Look into the turn.
384
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,777
What?
385
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,987
Look where you wanna go,
not where you don't wanna be.
386
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,156
Come on. There you go.
387
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,783
You wanna steer into it a little bit.
388
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,453
You're doing all right. You're doing good.
389
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,872
I really hate this.
I wanna go back to my computer now.
390
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,791
If you wanna land,
you just pull back a little.
391
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,459
Pull back a little bit. Pull it back.
392
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,187
Boys, come on! [clicks tongue] Come on.
393
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,272
Hey, you okay? That was a great fall!
394
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,607
Why did you make me do that?
395
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,526
My magic's been failing
a little bit lately,
396
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,027
and so I'm thinking about retiring.
397
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,279
You were talking about your dreams
of being Santa--
398
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,533
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I never said they were good dreams.
399
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,745
They're kinda like the last few minutes,
confusing and terrifying.
400
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,625
Blitzen, Comet, shake it off.
401
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,043
Sweet relief!
402
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,838
If you're really looking for a new Santa,
403
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,048
you should get the guy
who makes these games.
404
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:55,467
Talk about bringing happiness
in the world.
405
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,136
You know what I'm saying, Dad?
406
00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,972
Dad.
407
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:05,686
Where is this?
408
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,814
The nerve of those guys.
They wanna cut me off?
409
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,358
I'll cut them off,
leave them all in the dust.
410
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,153
You're doing that thing
where you get all crazy-eyed like Grandpa.
411
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,405
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. You're right.
412
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:20,617
I shouldn't let those guys get to me.
I just need to fix our delivery problems.
413
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,162
- I believe in you, Dad.
- Oh.
414
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,247
Thank you, sweetie.
That's all that matters.
415
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,416
Hey, what's this?
416
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,127
My Christmas gift.
417
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,298
Oh, honey.
418
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,718
I miss her too, every day.
419
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,012
But I'm confused. Where'd you get that?
420
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,599
I told you.
It was under the tree from Santa.
421
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,269
I know you don't believe in Santa,
like those men today.
422
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:48,896
That's okay.
423
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,066
Well, I didn't, um, but, uh...
424
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,152
Wait a minute. You saw him?
425
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,403
I see it in your face.
426
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:59,072
Well, I saw something.
I don't know. It makes no sense.
427
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,533
First, the mysterious other 17%,
428
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,828
then that flash across the sky,
and now this locket?
429
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:08,081
- It's not that hard to believe.
- Okay. Well, then question for you.
430
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:12,211
If Santa is real, how does he deliver toys
to all the world in one night?
431
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,380
Magic, duh. Come on, Dad.
432
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,176
Magic.
433
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,098
Betty, something's going on
between you and Santa.
434
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,517
The secret meetings,
the whisperings and whatnot--
435
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,520
And don't play dumb. That's my thing.
436
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,856
It's actually nice to see
you still get jealous.
437
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,441
Of course I'm jealous.
438
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,401
Santa is everything to me.
439
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,113
Okay, can you keep a secret?
440
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,950
No. If there's a cat,
I let it out of the bag.
441
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,743
If there's beans, I spill them.
442
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,495
Doc Martin says I have ASS.
443
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,997
- Hmm?
- Acute Squawk Syndrome.
444
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:53,210
Okay, I'm going to trust you on this
and certainly regret it later.
445
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,337
Santa's thinking about retiring.
446
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,465
Oh, holy fright!
You can't let that happen.
447
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,800
We don't want a new Santa.
448
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,218
That's the weird part.
449
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,346
He wants a replacement,
but he also wants to stick around after.
450
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,306
Maybe we can make a duplicate him.
451
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:09,101
Yeah,
because that worked out so well last time.
452
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,771
And there's more. Bernard left this.
453
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,774
It measures Christmas spirit.
454
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,902
When everything's great,
it shines brightly,
455
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:22,239
and that's the way it's been
for all of Santa Scott's reign.
456
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:23,824
But look at the middle now.
457
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,202
It hasn't been like that
since the 14th century.
458
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:32,666
The plague, famine, wars, and--
459
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,793
Mad Santa. Yes.
460
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,212
That's the last time
Christmas was threatened.
461
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,047
You can't show this to Santa.
462
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,800
It'll shatter him
like your crystal elf award.
463
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,178
By the way, I accidentally shattered
your crystal elf award.
464
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:46,680
He needs to know.
465
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:52,686
I'll take care of this.
I'm more tickly than prickly.
466
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,780
Hey! Noel, whatever it is,
it's gonna have to wait.
467
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,366
I gotta find Sandra.
I wanna spend some quality time with her.
468
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:09,828
Father of the year. Santa of the century.
469
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,997
Is there no end to your gloriousness?
470
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,582
May you rule forever.
471
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:17,127
Oh. Betty told you
I was thinking of retiring, huh?
472
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:20,255
Did she also show you
that big binder of possible replacements?
473
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,632
I think she has one for new Noels too.
474
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,218
Please don't retire, Santa.
475
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:27,596
Don't worry. I never make a rash decision,
476
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,848
other than putting on a dead man's coat,
477
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:32,351
marrying a beautiful woman
I've only known 20 seconds,
478
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,979
oh, and allowing a frozen lunatic
to take over the entire North Pole.
479
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,814
Here's a reason to stay.
480
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:40,901
The shinier it is,
the more Christmas spirit in the world.
481
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:41,818
Oh, yeah.
482
00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:43,195
Ta-da!
483
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,072
Look how bright it is!
484
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:47,449
It means you're doing
the bestest job ever.
485
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,285
- Let me see it.
- It looks best from afar.
486
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:51,953
Give me the orb.
487
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,752
A flashlight, really?
488
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:02,923
I'm sorry I lied.
I just don't want you to retire.
489
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:06,676
I was thinking of staying,
but this is troublesome.
490
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:09,679
Here.
I'm gonna go to the Snow Globe Depository
491
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:11,640
and check on Christmas spirit
around the world.
492
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,308
Thanks for alerting me, Noel!
493
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:17,437
Stupid glowy ball.
Look at all the trouble you caused!
494
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,192
It looks like they broke something
495
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,569
and now they're trying to
put it back together.
496
00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:27,697
No, I think
it's one of those jigsaw puzzles again.
497
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,741
The real world is so complicated.
498
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:30,826
Yeah.
499
00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:33,620
Oh, it looks like the dad
just got back from work,
500
00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:36,415
and he's wearing a suit that's not red.
501
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,499
Weird.
502
00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:40,585
I hope he got that promotion,
so he can afford to get Lily those braces.
503
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:43,588
How do you always
know so much about everyone?
504
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,591
Oh!
505
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,511
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, guys,
you're not supposed to be in here.
506
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,805
- This is a restricted area.
- I know.
507
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,181
We were just looking.
508
00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,934
Sometimes, we come in here to see
what the real world is like.
509
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,727
I-I promise we won't do it anymore.
510
00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:00,230
I didn't know you cared about this. I--
511
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,565
You love the North Pole, right?
512
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,692
I do. I do. More than anything.
513
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:07,696
I just-- I'm curious about kids.
Real kids.
514
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:12,075
And Cal, I-I-I thought you just loved
your virtual fantasy world.
515
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:13,410
Well...
516
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:14,870
- Show him.
- Show him what?
517
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:16,413
Here.
518
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,290
What is this?
519
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,834
Topeka, Kansas.
520
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:24,421
I just finished mowing the lawn,
and now I'm going to the post office.
521
00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:33,513
So, all this time, you've been--
You've been playing in the normal world.
522
00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:37,142
Yeah. Sandra, too, sometimes.
Although she's mostly scared.
523
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,518
Am not.
524
00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:41,688
Hey, kids, I mean, what--
Why didn't you just tell me this?
525
00:24:41,688 --> 00:24:44,524
We didn't wanna make you feel bad.
526
00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:47,277
Are we in trouble, Dad?
527
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:49,196
Nah, you're not in trouble.
528
00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,365
I think it's me that messed up.
529
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,909
Look, change of plans.
530
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:56,786
Family meeting. Let's go.
531
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:04,336
Listen, um, I've been blessed
to be Santa Claus for, what, 29 years.
532
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:09,257
But also, me being Santa Claus has
required you guys to make some sacrifices
533
00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,134
that I didn't fully appreciate.
534
00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:13,803
It's almost like
I was looking at life through...
535
00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:17,766
...Santa gauze.
536
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,184
No.
537
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:23,522
Okay, and even your mom,
Mrs. Claus, feeling useless.
538
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,565
Unappreciated. Never said useless.
539
00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:28,568
And you kids--
Okay, how am I gonna put this?
540
00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:30,820
Whatever words you're searching for,
don't say it.
541
00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:32,072
Right.
542
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:38,245
Listen, I don't think the North Pole is
the best place to raise human children.
543
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:41,998
Okay, wait. I-I love it here.
544
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,960
I mean, is it weird? Sure.
545
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,213
Are my braces made of sugar? Yeah.
546
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:51,091
But the elf dentist insisted
that it was good for my teeth.
547
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,425
He's not actually a dentist.
548
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:56,471
He got the name Dr. Veneer because he did
all that beautiful woodwork on my sleigh.
549
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:59,349
- We gave him that name because--
- Is there a point to all this, Scott?
550
00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,768
Yes, there is a point. The point is--
551
00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:05,939
Okay. I could do this forever,
552
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,942
but for the good of Christmas,
553
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:11,570
for the good of my family,
554
00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:15,282
I think we make some changes.
555
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:19,911
See what the rest of the world's like
as-- as normal people.
556
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,123
So, I'm retiring.
557
00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,585
- Wait, so this is really real?
- What?
558
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,794
This is really real.
559
00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,463
I've been a little bit alarmed
at my loss in magic.
560
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:33,216
I mean, earlier I sneezed,
the lights went out.
561
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,262
But this is the real magic.
562
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:38,930
The family, right here.
563
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:45,353
Is that tree crying?
564
00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:47,731
No. Why?
565
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:49,858
Take me instead.
566
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:52,319
Noel, come on out. There we go.
567
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:56,656
I'll be fine.
Just pretend that I'm not here.
568
00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,617
We know how Noel feels about this.
569
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,952
What do you guys think? What do you feel?
570
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:03,204
I mean, if you're in, I'm in.
571
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:08,835
I guess I can learn to, uh...
uh, uh, people.
572
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:11,338
Well,
every journey begins with a first step,
573
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:13,798
and I'm ready to take mine.
574
00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:15,967
- Wait, wait. Honey, I don't...
- No.
575
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:18,345
- Incoming! Guys, everybody down!
- No, no, no, wait!
576
00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:30,523
That feels so good.
577
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,777
- Well, I'm glad you feel good, honey.
- Me too!
578
00:27:35,862 --> 00:27:36,696
Oh.
579
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,538
What is this about?
580
00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:49,042
And what happened to Mrs. Claus?
Are we here to shame her?
581
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:52,379
Attention, everyone!
Santa has an announcement to make.
582
00:27:56,132 --> 00:27:58,134
I don't think I can go through with this.
583
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:01,638
Never mind, everyone!
Santa has nothing to say to you.
584
00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:04,099
Well, don't say it like that.
It sounds like I don't care.
585
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:06,351
Attention, everyone!
Santa does have something to say.
586
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,812
- Okay, let's stop this. Let's stop.
- Okay, okay.
587
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,439
Did you change your mind?
'Cause I can't go back to the bun.
588
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:13,775
You know what scares me most
about leaving?
589
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,276
- Having to pay for waffles.
- Yes.
590
00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,486
- Mm-hmm.
- No.
591
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:19,447
When I first arrived here,
the elves were so happy.
592
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:20,532
Oh, that's nice.
593
00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:22,200
Yeah, one would think.
594
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,578
But they didn't seem to care
about the previous Santa disappearing.
595
00:28:26,287 --> 00:28:28,581
- They didn't even shed a tear.
- Hmm.
596
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:31,668
And if they do that for me,
it'd be like I didn't matter.
597
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:34,295
One thing no one can say
about Scott Calvin,
598
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:37,465
and there's a lot,
is that he never mattered.
599
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:40,969
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
600
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,972
Okay, I do have an announcement to make.
601
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:46,599
Betty already said that.
602
00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:47,684
Who's talking?
603
00:28:47,684 --> 00:28:51,271
Sorry, that was me.
Sometimes I think out loud.
604
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,355
Okay.
605
00:28:52,355 --> 00:28:54,983
I'm sure a lot of you noticed
I haven't been myself lately, right?
606
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:59,070
Well, after careful consideration
and a talk with my family,
607
00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:04,033
I, Santa Claus, have decided to retire.
608
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,461
That's okay.
609
00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:25,096
Why?
610
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:27,098
I matter. Yes!
611
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,225
We have a grief counselor, right?
612
00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:31,060
Kleenex, on me!
613
00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:32,854
- Good job.
- Hmm.
614
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:34,981
So, what now?
615
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:39,027
Guess we should hide all the hard cider
and sharp tools, huh?
616
00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:42,405
- Well, they seem devastated.
- I know.
617
00:29:42,405 --> 00:29:44,657
So, we start bringing in candidates?
618
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,128
Dad.
619
00:29:58,338 --> 00:29:59,798
What were you looking at?
620
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:02,425
Uh...
621
00:30:04,093 --> 00:30:06,930
You googled
"does Santa Claus really exist?"
622
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:08,306
You believe.
623
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:10,141
I don't know what I believe, honey.
624
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:14,562
I mean, this guy says that Santa is real
and a founding member of the Illuminati.
625
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:17,774
And then you've got a lot of conversation
about how it's possible
626
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:21,736
that Santa can deliver all these presents
to the whole world all in one night.
627
00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:24,072
{\an8}And then, here, look. A video of Santa.
628
00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:26,741
{\an8}This guy has a theory
that Santa uses vortexes.
629
00:30:26,741 --> 00:30:29,494
That there are holes in the sky
that no one else can see.
630
00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:31,120
Convenient.
631
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,455
I know it's all crazy.
632
00:30:32,455 --> 00:30:34,582
I was just looking for ideas, like,
633
00:30:34,582 --> 00:30:39,003
if it were all real, and I could somehow
recreate Santa's delivery system...
634
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,089
You got your crazy eyes again, Dad.
635
00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:44,676
Yeah, he does have crazy eyes.
636
00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:47,095
To the safe room!
637
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,972
Don't be afraid of the scary intruder.
638
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,807
I think that was just a little girl.
639
00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:56,729
- This is a fun game.
- How'd you do that?
640
00:30:56,729 --> 00:30:58,898
Simon Choksi,
you've been summoned to the North Pole.
641
00:30:58,898 --> 00:31:01,067
First of all, I don't go anywhere
without my daughter.
642
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:02,485
And second of all--