1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:03,420
[Scott] You know, honey,
2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:07,215
{\an8}I'm not sure a lot of this North Pole
stuff actually plays in the real world.
3
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,676
{\an8}- [chuckles]
- [Carol] Ooh. Yikes.
4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,428
{\an8}You shouldn't even been wearing that here.
5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,679
Yeah, you're right about that.
6
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,140
I don't think
that I'm going to be bringing any
7
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,350
of my Mrs. Claus bathing suits with me.
8
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,186
At least I've got the important stuff.
9
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,606
- Ah, my BlackBerry. Got it.
- [phone chimes]
10
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,443
- Still got half a battery. [chuckles]
- [Carol gasps]
11
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,570
Oh, Scott.
12
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,240
- My jeans.
- Mmm.
13
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,576
- You want a moment alone with them?
- Maybe.
14
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,119
[Betty clears throat]
15
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,746
What did you guys do with our clothes?
16
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,289
Oh, everything's taken care of, sir.
17
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,708
A house in the Chicago suburbs.
Fully furnished.
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,960
Complete wardrobes for the entire family.
19
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,421
Everything you need.
You'll have no reason to complain.
20
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,424
- [chuckles] That's a good one, Betty.
- Good what?
21
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,844
Noel, why are you here?
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,931
Just hanging out with my best friend.
Spending every moment with him.
23
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,185
Until Santa leaves me forever. [cries]
24
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:03,438
Well, that may not happen.
Unless you get me some better candidates.
25
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,939
I think you're being a little picky.
26
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:07,567
Whoa. Betty, I wanna leave the North Pole
in good shape.
27
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,277
But you are still leaving?
28
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:12,155
Yeah, that's why I packed everything,
including my bomber jacket.
29
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,990
Now that is vintage, right?
30
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:16,493
Oh, so that's the smell.
I thought a cow died in here.
31
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,704
- [chuckles] Another good one, Betty.
- [chuckles] Good what?
32
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,541
Interviews in 15 minutes, sir.
Candidates have already arrived.
33
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,299
No way.
34
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,760
- Dad, wake up! Dad!
- [Simon grunts]
35
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,512
Oh, my God! Oh!
36
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,138
All right, it's okay! Don't panic!
37
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,474
Uh, we've just been abducted
by very bad people.
38
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,226
Bad people don't set out cookies.
39
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,978
Don't eat that! It might have poison, or--
40
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:50,110
This is the best thing
that I've ever tasted in my life.
41
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,903
Hey, your nose is all better.
42
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,408
What is this place?
43
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,286
And what are we wearing?
44
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,081
We're at the North Pole.
The elf said you'd been summoned.
45
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,459
Wait, that really happened?
I thought that was a dream.
46
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,212
Is it possible
this is really the North Pole?
47
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,214
These pillows are marshmallows!
48
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,299
No, no, don't eat that!
We might get charged for it.
49
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,261
[sniffs]
50
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,806
[elves clamoring]
51
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,018
Yeah, it's the North Pole.
52
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,230
- [choir harmonizing]
- [theme playing]
53
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,481
[grunts]
54
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,193
[harmonizing continues]
55
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:38,241
["Jingle Bells" plays]
56
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,291
I think you're gonna miss this place
a lot more than you're admitting.
57
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,500
Well, of course I am.
58
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,252
- This is where we raised our kids.
- Hmm.
59
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,463
This is where Cal and Sandra learned
to ride their first reindeer.
60
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,382
They had their first day of yule.
61
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,386
I am looking forward
to our next chapter though.
62
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,347
- Yeah, me too. Me too.
- [Carol] Yeah?
63
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,641
I've been making a list
of the things I wanna do in Chicago,
64
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,059
and none of them involve a chimney.
65
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:07,437
- [laughs] Pizza--
- [Crouton] No!
66
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,855
Or an elf screaming.
67
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,274
- [Crouton] No, no, no!
- No, listen. I got it. I love you.
68
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,859
- I love you too.
- You pack.
69
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,361
Pack?
70
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,946
- [groans] Crouton!
- How could you?
71
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,907
Will you just get out of my room?
72
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,910
The girl Claus taped pictures to her wall.
73
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,078
- Hmm.
- And is that a thumbtack?
74
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:27,498
They've been on her wall for years.
What's the problem?
75
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:30,793
The problem is, I was never told,
76
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:34,714
and none of this was ever cleared
by the North Pole Preservation Society.
77
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,049
They reject everything.
78
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,760
Do you know how long it took me
to get the puppet show out of our room?
79
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,303
It's a miracle we have kids.
80
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,471
- [Sandra] Ugh.
- Sorry.
81
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,139
I'm going to have to write up a report.
82
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,807
Ooh.
83
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,643
Yes! I love writing reports.
84
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,144
[Carol sighs]
85
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:52,065
I thought you were supposed to gather
stuff to set aside for the real world.
86
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,360
The North Pole is the real world.
And I'm not leaving.
87
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,611
Okay-- Oh.
88
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,279
Good talk.
89
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,114
Don't worry. I'm excited about leaving.
90
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,075
I'm even making a list
of things I wanna do.
91
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,576
Like, meet a crossing guard.
92
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,704
Um, use those hand-drying things
in public bathrooms.
93
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:11,042
Avoid bills by putting them in trash bags
and then hiding them behind a couch.
94
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,962
- Mm-hmm.
- Be a part of a C-boarding group.
95
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,965
Ooh! And learn what a time zone is. Uh...
96
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,384
Ooh, jury duty!
97
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,053
- [Grace] Look at that!
- [Simon] I'm seeing it!
98
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,681
- Look at that! Look at that!
- I'm seeing it! I'm seeing it!
99
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,808
- [exhales]
- [Grace chuckles]
100
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,601
It's the most magical place in the world!
101
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,561
It is, but, uh, play it cool, okay?
102
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,647
Oh, my God! So many elves!
103
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,232
Am I allowed to say "elf"?
104
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,817
I still feel like I'm dreaming.
105
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,902
In a way, you are dreaming.
106
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,070
- [gasps]
- [Carol laughs]
107
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,532
This place isn't real.
At least, not like you think.
108
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,200
I'm sorry. What's happening?
109
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,910
You know what? It doesn't matter.
110
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:49,956
Because when you wake up at home,
you'll have no memory of ever being here.
111
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,209
- I'll remember.
- Well, of course you will, sweetheart.
112
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,210
[mouthing words]
113
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:58,172
Oh, my gosh. Where are my manners?
I never introduced myself. I'm Mrs. Claus.
114
00:04:58,172 --> 00:04:59,173
[gasps]
115
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,301
- No way.
- Yeah.
116
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:06,889
Oh, you look far too young and stunning
to be a Mrs. Claus.
117
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,516
- Oh. [laughs]
- Look who it is.
118
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,060
You're now my favorite candidate.
119
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,478
Oh, a candidate for what?
120
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:16,733
- Oh, um--
- Oh, my God! [gasps] Simon Choksi!
121
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,777
You're my gaming lord and savior.
I can't believe you're real.
122
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:22,030
- Can I touch you?
- No, Cal! No touching.
123
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,656
Oh, Cal, is it? It's a good name.
124
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,410
Oh, m-my full name is Buddy Calvin Claus,
but everyone just calls me Cal.
125
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,287
Well, get in here! We'll take a selfie.
126
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,164
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, no. No photos.
127
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,292
Um, there's a lot of ridiculous rules
around here, but that's a really big one.
128
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,376
Oh, that's too bad.
129
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,338
Hey, why don't you take these--
these guys around?
130
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,090
Simon has a lot of time
before he gets to meet with Santa.
131
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,551
Meet Santa?
132
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,178
- We get to meet Santa?
- Yeah.
133
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,388
You're not teasing me, are you?
I get teased a lot.
134
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:48,723
- Aw. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
135
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,851
You really don't know why you're here,
do you?
136
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,106
Wait, that's why I'm here?
To be the new Santa?
137
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,734
Yes!
Can't wait to rub this in Brady's face.
138
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:03,363
Well, you don't have the job just yet.
You got a 65% completion rate.
139
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,407
It's probably good enough
for the NFL Hall of Fame, but up here,
140
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,117
we kind of look for a 100%.
141
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,620
Well, I'm pretty sure I can pull it off
with no pass rush.
142
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,623
Well, there's no pass rush,
but there are some security problems.
143
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,124
We got NORAD.
144
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,668
Their radar's getting much better
at tracking us, right?
145
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,921
We've got chimney raccoons. Oh, boy.
146
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,800
Sketchy pastries on plates.
You never know how long it's been there.
147
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,551
You got a mayonnaise problem sometimes.
148
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,388
So got to watch out for that.
You got your Christmas deniers.
149
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,890
And you got your Santa traps.
150
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,643
Santa traps? What's-- What's that?
151
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,269
Let's say you're going down a chimney,
152
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,815
you pop in, you see a tree,
the garland's just slipped off.
153
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,609
You decide to be a nice Santa
and pick it up, put it back on the tree.
154
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,528
You grab the garland...
[whoosh] ...grabs your hand.
155
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,405
You pull it, you're in a trap.
Just like that.
156
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,698
You see, with me,
I wouldn't pull the garland.
157
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,868
Yeah. And who would, right?
That's good. Okay, okay.
158
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:54,038
How about this?
Give us your best "ho ho ho."
159
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,873
Oh, okay. Here we go.
160
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:58,376
Ho ho Homaha! Homaha!
161
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,087
You see that?
I called a little audible there.
162
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,213
[stammers]
163
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,425
He's odd, yet somehow perfect.
164
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,509
He's odd, all right.
165
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,928
I don't know if we have a hat big enough
for that head.
166
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,638
Phew. Look at the size of that thing. Hmm.
167
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,099
What's gotten into you?
We need to find someone quickly.
168
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:14,725
What's the rush?
169
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,853
Well, breaking in new Santas take time.
170
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,605
Breaking in a Santa?
We're talking about Santas, not horses.
171
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,232
I know. Horses listen.
172
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,900
Ha! That's a good one. [chuckles]
173
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,026
You still here?
174
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,028
Me? I was kidnapped.
175
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,990
One minute I'm cleaning rain gutters,
and next minute, I'm here.
176
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,617
By the way, I'm gonna need a note
from you for my wife.
177
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,872
Hey, Big Man!
On a scale of epic to super epic,
178
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,999
how "giganticous"
do you want your farewell party?
179
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,835
That won't be necessary, little man.
It's always nice to meet a big fan.
180
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,086
Here's an autograph.
181
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,590
[gasps]
182
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,511
Michelangelo gave me this shirt!
183
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,263
It's worth more now, trust me.
184
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,724
Peyton, he was talking to me
about my farewell party.
185
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,102
Listen, low-key.
I mean it. No muss, no fuss.
186
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,480
No muss, no fuss.
187
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:05,526
Who's the dead elf that's gonna tell
Mariah Carey she's no longer performing?
188
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,612
I sing, by the way.
189
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,989
[chuckles] No, Brady can sing.
190
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,657
Anyhow, thanks so much.
191
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,495
And here you go. Santa's Workshop.
192
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,831
I never wanna leave here.
193
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,419
Wow. Being here really makes you forget
about all your problems in the real world.
194
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,506
Oh, hey! Is it true in the real world
there's a thing called "gridlock,"
195
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,050
where traffic just stops
and you get to know your neighbor?
196
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,511
That's one way to look at it.
197
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,179
Wow.
198
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,431
Oh, hey!
199
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:39,060
Is it true that shopping carts fit
into each other like little nesting dolls?
200
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,937
And telemarketers just call you?
201
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,315
I can't wait to get my first sunburn!
202
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,652
Those are all things, I guess.
203
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,531
But there is nothing like this place.
204
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,075
Yeah, it's okay, I guess.
205
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,577
I hate that we won't remember it.
206
00:08:56,577 --> 00:09:00,164
[whispering] Here, sweetie.
Some rules are meant to be broken, okay?
207
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,249
[camera shutter clicks]
208
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:02,750
Time to meet Santa.
209
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,255
Oh. Okay. Wow. I'm ready.
210
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,840
I wish I'd brought him something.
211
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,260
Uh, but what do you give Santa?
212
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,053
He's into NFTs.
213
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,097
Nutty fudgy tea cakes.
214
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,100
We can make sure
you meet him after your dad.
215
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,228
Buddy Calvin Claus,
could you watch the girl person?
216
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,690
My lack of maternal fortitude
will only make us both uncomfortable.
217
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,359
Okay, honey.
Be careful, all right? [grunts]
218
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,777
It's the North Pole, Dad.
219
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,988
It's the North Pole!
220
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,239
Let's go.
221
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:36,367
Oh! Hey, hey!
222
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,287
Is it true, in the real world,
there's, like, a whole department
223
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,164
of motor vehicles and you get to go there?
224
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,042
I ride a bike, but... hmm.
225
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,127
Wow.
226
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,799
- Cal, why do you have a human kid?
- I'm in charge of showing her around.
227
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:54,010
- I know this place better than you do.
- That is not true.
228
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,636
Okay. Then what's that lever do?
229
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,179
Uh...
230
00:09:57,179 --> 00:10:00,766
- It makes things better. Yeah.
- [Sandra] Mmm?
231
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,851
Mm-hmm.
232
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,019
[yelps]
233
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:06,981
Oh! Great. Thank you.
234
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,191
I needed a new nightmare anyways. Yeah.
235
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,193
Well, I will give you the good tour.
236
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,324
Oh, no, no, no, no.
237
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,908
Simon Choksi.
238
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,911
Listen. Hold on.
I don't want you to be nervous here.
239
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,330
Oh, why would I be nervous?
240
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,582
Because you're interviewing
to become Santa Claus.
241
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,709
Sorry, sorry.
242
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,419
That's all right. They're just priceless.
243
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,046
Um, do you want a drink of something?
244
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,340
Uh, chocolate milk? Strawberry Quik?
Pick your poison.
245
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,716
Uh, I'm sorry. What's happening?
246
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,301
Okay. [sighs]
247
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:40,306
Santa Claus is considering stepping down,
looking for a possible replacement.
248
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,557
Now it's been challenging,
249
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:45,102
but your name came up as a person
with great possibilities.
250
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,812
So I wanna hear a little bit about you.
251
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,816
[stammers] Wow, okay. Uh...
252
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,777
Uh, well, s-sure.
253
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,696
Uh, so, you know,
I-I started, uh, as a game designer.
254
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,365
- Mm-hmm. Hmm.
- But then I expanded.
255
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:01,494
And, uh, my company, EverythingNow!,
is, uh, spiraling out of control
256
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,829
because our delivery system is a mess.
257
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,540
That's why there's the really mean GIF--
I don't know if you've seen it.
258
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:10,711
It's going around calling my company
"Random Thingy Delivered Sometimes."
259
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,924
You haven't done a lot of job interviews,
have you, Simon?
260
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,052
You know, can I ask you a question?
It's about your delivery system.
261
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,762
Why would I wanna hire you?
262
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,307
[stammering] Uh, well, uh--
263
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,059
You know, I--
264
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,478
Great "communitator."
265
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:29,855
How about that drink?
266
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,524
Uh, make it a double.
267
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,566
Okay, good.
268
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,862
- Did you say chocolate, vanilla, or--
- [camera shutter clicks]
269
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,656
Were you told no photos?
270
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,033
Yes. A lot.
271
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,370
Right, but you tech guys just aren't
used to people saying "no" to you, huh?
272
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,831
Oh, actually,
everybody tells me "no" all the time.
273
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,374
But you don't listen, do you?
274
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,751
- [Cal] Um, Dad? Hey.
- Hey.
275
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:51,836
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
276
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,004
Oh, I don't think
you're interrupting at all.
277
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,715
We're done here, Simon. Thank you so much.
278
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,968
- Yeah, I sort of lost his daughter.
- Oh.
279
00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,885
Grace?
280
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,429
Oh, I got to find her!
281
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,888
[Scott] No, no, no. Don't worry about it!
282
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,849
We have great security here
at the North Pole!
283
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,768
The elves will find her!
They'll find anything! No--
284
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,437
Well, she was with Sandra.
285
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,397
Oh, no.
286
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,776
- So this is Dancer, and that's Prancer.
- [reindeer grunting]
287
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,737
Next to him is Comet,
288
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,991
and over there is Vomit,
who has to stay clear of the others.
289
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,784
How do they fly?
290
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,911
Good question.
291
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,164
Did you ever hear the theory
about bumblebees?
292
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,417
Well, their wings are too small
to lift their body mass.
293
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,085
Experts finally concluded that
294
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,880
the only reason they can fly
is 'cause they think they can fly.
295
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,132
Same with reindeer.
296
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,343
Santa convinced them that they could fly.
297
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,637
Wow. No way.
298
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,848
- Uh, uh, can I?
- Of course.
299
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,142
[reindeer brays]
300
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,226
It's okay.
301
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,937
There you go.
302
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,441
I hate that I have to leave here.
303
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,442
I don't blame you.
304
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,235
My dad's been making this dumb list
305
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,488
of all the things he's gonna do
in the real world.
306
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,281
You know what I can't do?
307
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,699
Hug Prancer.
308
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:04,825
[Prancer groans]
309
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:07,036
I'm gonna miss him the most.
310
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,205
You are my best friend.
311
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,289
[Sandra] Aw.
312
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,584
Wait. What?
313
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,754
- D-Did you hear that?
- His grunt?
314
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,964
No, he said actual words.
315
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,257
Prancer, say something.
316
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,342
[Prancer brays]
317
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:25,846
Um, okay, I'm gonna go talk to someone
in the woods about this.
318
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,598
Wait, uh, can I go with you?
319
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,517
- You're cool!
- No, you can't--
320
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,186
Wait. Did you call me cool?
321
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,229
- Yes.
- [Sandra scoffs]
322
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,356
[chuckles] Okay, let's go.
323
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,485
All right, this is E.L.F.S.
324
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,195
Watch your head.
325
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,113
Gary, we got a problem.
326
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:44,114
[screws bottle cap]
327
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:46,450
You said you had
the best detective force in the world.
328
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,952
E.L.F.S. Right here.
329
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,578
Where is everyone?
330
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,706
I'm the only one left.
Fudge-It cuts, you know?
331
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,792
- What's a Fudge-It cut?
- Don't get him started.
332
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:58,796
We get paid in fudge. After 20 years
of no crime in the North Pole,
333
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,258
Betty decided extra fudge
would be better spent on the line workers.
334
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,927
So the others left to make toys.
335
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,388
Not me.
I'm getting too old for that shift.
336
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,931
- Told you not to get him started.
- Wha--
337
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,683
Listen, we have a little problem,
all right?
338
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,893
My Sandra has left with his daughter.
339
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,144
What do they look like?
340
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,896
My Sandra, his daughter.
341
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,690
Human females.
342
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,025
Hold on. Let me check.
343
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,361
Why does the North Pole need a jail?
344
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,114
Pie crimes and mistletoe-meanors.
345
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:30,202
We had a report of two non-elf females
spotted, headed toward the Wobbly Woods.
346
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:33,163
And you didn't think that was
important enough to tell me?
347
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,457
No elves dare step foot
in the Wobbly Woods.
348
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,793
Oh, because of the "Christmas Witch."
349
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,712
I've been face-to-face with her.
350
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:44,425
An evil harpy with black eyes
and a dead pine cone for a heart.
351
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,926
Goodness, you're intense.
352
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,429
- All right, I'll go get them.
- Well, I'm coming with you.
353
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,139
I don't care if there's
a thousand witches.
354
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,724
I'll fight 'em all to save Grace.
355
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,434
Only one witch.
356
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,563
But she can make a man
do things against his will.
357
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,150
Yeah. And you better cut back
on the maple syrup. I saw that.
358
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,067
[grunts]
359
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,152
All right, let's go.
360
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,864
[Scott] You know, Simon,
you could've stayed indoors.
361
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,866
{\an8}- Nope. I'm fine. [shivering]
- Yeah?
362
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,993
Is that teeth chattering or a woodpecker?
363
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:14,246
Look, I don't care if I get frostbite.
I'm not stopping until I find Grace.
364
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,790
Okay, well, you--
No, you're not gonna find Grace that way.
365
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,626
- Come on. Come.
- Do you know where we're going?
366
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,545
Yeah,
the Wobbly Woods are always changing.
367
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,464
They're alive.
368
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,049
Oh, well, that's great.
369
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,301
So, your one kid lost my kid,
370
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:31,180
and your other kid took her to the woods
that are alive and might have a witch.
371
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,932
- That's just wonderful.
- Well, listen, Simon.
372
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,226
Simon, no other applicant brought
their kid. You insisted on that.
373
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,771
I bring her everywhere.
She's my everything.
374
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,522
I named EverythingNow! after her.
375
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:42,107
That's wonderful and kind of annoying
376
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,068
since I'd already formed an opinion
about you.
377
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,613
Well, that's fine by me. There's no way
that I can take on being Santa, all right?
378
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,240
I'm giving it my all just to be
both mom and dad to my daughter.
379
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,784
Her mom is where?
380
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,495
Uh, she passed away two years ago.
381
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:55,579
Oh.
382
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,041
That's so sad for both of you.
383
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,627
That's-- I'm sorry about that.
384
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,711
Thank you.
385
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:06,090
My number one goal right now
is just to try to make her happy.
386
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,925
That's our number one job.
387
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,470
We actually started a nonprofit
in her mom's name
388
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,515
where we, uh,
we give toys to underserved kids.
389
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,683
Well, that's horrible.
390
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,227
You just rip my existence
right out from under me.
391
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,353
Oh, sorry.
392
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,481
- You're-- You're kidding.
- [chuckles]
393
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,733
No,
that's actually wonderful stuff you do.
394
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,319
Listen,
the world could really use more of that.
395
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:33,492
You know, um, when Grace's mom passed,
I-- I stopped believing in everything.
396
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,621
It's really nice to see
that some magic still exists,
397
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:40,040
but right now,
I wanna find Grace and bring her home.
398
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,001
We're going to find Grace.
399
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,502
- Oh, Grace's locket!
- Don't pick it up.
400
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,753
[Simon grunts]
401
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:45,838
Oh. Oh.
402
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,881
What-- What's going on?
403
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:50,175
My feet are stuck.
It's like-- It's like sticky snow.
404
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,885
It's okay. It's okay.
Remember, I told you.
405
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,179
This forest is alive
and, apparently, doesn't like you.
406
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,015
Look, I'm gonna head over there--
407
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,018
[grunts, chuckles]
408
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,103
I didn't see that coming.
409
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,357
Well, can-- can you use your magic
to get us out?
410
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,985
- Yeah.
- [Simon grunting]
411
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:11,780
- [Scott groans]
- [magic whooshes]
412
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,283
Oh, great. Great. You made it colder.
That's wonderful.
413
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,454
I'm having a little problem with my magic.
414
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,955
I suppose that makes you happy.
415
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,373
Why would that make me happy?
416
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,585
So much clucking.
417
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,588
I thought the sticky snow
had caught two hens.
418
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,672
[laughs]
419
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,090
[sighs]
420
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:31,175
Christmas Witch.
421
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,343
[Simon stammers] Witch!
422
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,429
Please don't tell me
you baked our girls into a pie.
423
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,390
One witch bakes one kid into a pie
like a thousand years ago,
424
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,600
and now it's a thing.
425
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,187
Also, you know,
I don't like this word "witch."
426
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,772
I'm La Befana.
427
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:49,485
La Befana, it actually means "the witch,"
or if you'll forgive me, "the hag."
428
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,820
But I had style.
429
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,030
Yeah.
430
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:56,575
All across Italy,
on the Feast of the Epiphany,
431
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,661
I would fill the good children's sock
with candy
432
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,747
and the bad children's sock with coal.
433
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,833
Which, in winter,
is actually more valuable than candy.
434
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,293
And how did you get to the houses?
435
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,504
- A broom.
- Ha!
436
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,505
Shut up!
437
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:14,176
Back then, a witch couldn't get
a sleigh loan without a warlock to cosign.
438
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,135
[chuckles]
439
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,806
Now, you want to see the little girls?
440
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:21,558
Let's go!
441
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:23,977
Could you--
442
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,438
Little help.
443
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,441
[grunting]
444
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,526
Hello?
445
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,404
[La Befana chuckles]
446
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,033
[sighs] I'm gonna get one of those sticks.
447
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,829
Girls? Oh, girls?
448
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,498
Can you vouch for these two trespassers?
449
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,083
Daddy!
450
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,211
- Honey, are you okay? Oh!
- [Grace sighs] Wow.
451
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,630
- Hey, Dad.
- [Grace] This place is so exciting.
452
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,423
I wish we could stay here forever.
453
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,800
[Simon] You do?
454
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,718
Who is this? Is this Grace?
455
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,596
Sweetie, this is Sandra's father,
Mr. Claus.
456
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:00,848
Or Santa.
457
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,934
- [squealing] Hello!
- Oh, well, hi there. Look at you.
458
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,436
You like stuffed panda bears.
459
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,355
- Yeah.
- Huh. I remember that.
460
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,274
I'm glad you're okay.
461
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,860
- Come here.
- Uh.
462
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,405
What made you think
it was okay to bring Grace here?
463
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,739
She came with me,
464
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:21,410
and I had something important
that I needed to talk to La Befana about.
465
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,079
La Befana, the witch that has
a pine-cone heart? That one?
466
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,249
[chuckles] You've been talking to Gary?
467
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:30,502
We had one date, like, 200 years ago.
468
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,045
He's obsessed with me.
469
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,173
Yeah, you certainly caught his eye.
470
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,009
First, I can't be friends with animals.
471
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,719
Now, I can't be friends with witches.
472
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,889
And for your information,
I come here all the... time.
473
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,390
What? Is that where you got fleas?
474
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:46,643
No, I keep a clean covenstead!
475
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,521
I mean, a house.
476
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,690
Look, La Befana listens to me.
477
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,275
You don't know anything about me.
478
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,776
[stammers, sighs] Sandra.
479
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:55,986
Um. [sighs]
480
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,738
Hey, you should listen to her.
481
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,490
She's a very, very special girl.
482
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,534
Sandra!
483
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,786
Hey, hold on, Sandra. Hold on!
484
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,121
What? You mad?
485
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,041
Yes, I'm mad.
486
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,544
Then ground me here forever.
487
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,047
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me.
488
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,926
Interesting. Go on.
489
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:24,181
Listen,
I know that you don't wanna leave here.
490
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,265
I get it.
491
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,767
- Well, do you?
- [stammers]
492
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,770
You keep making that dumb list
of all the awesome things you're gonna do
493
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,188
when you aren't Santa.
494
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:32,898
You mean this one?
495
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,486
Yeah. It just says, "Buy a boat," and then
there's a bunch of doodles of boats.
496
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,322
And then it says,
"Do I really want a boat?"
497
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,408
Then there's doodles of boats
with X's through them.
498
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,160
That's super sad, Dad.
499
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,995
Do you know what I was thinking?
500
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,915
That you could just lease a boat
with an option to buy?
501
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,003
That's actually a good idea,
but, no, that's not what I was thinking.
502
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:58,006
I was thinking, actually,
that I never wanted to be Santa Claus,
503
00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:02,803
which is why it was the most awesome
thing that's ever happened to me.
504
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:08,850
Going with the flow is
the only way to tackle life.
505
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,811
It's hard to go with the flow
when you're scared.
506
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,021
I mean, I'm really scared, Dad.
507
00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:16,108
Of-- Of humans,
of anywhere that's not here.
508
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,985
It's so embarrassing.
509
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,949
It's okay to be afraid of the unknown.
510
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:25,909
I'm scared too.
511
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,121
- You are?
- Yeah.
512
00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:33,583
I think I'd be less scared
if we could be scared together.
513
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,169
Yeah, me too.
514
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:47,139
So you really didn't think
you were gonna be a good Santa?
515
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,181
No.
516
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:51,101
I was sure I wouldn't be a good Santa.
I thought it was the worst choice ever.
517
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,978
So what happened?
518
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,062
[sighs]
519
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:56,982
I started seeing it
through Charlie's eyes,
520
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,734
and it changed me for the better.
521
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:01,403
[chuckles]
522
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:04,364
Maybe it was in me all the time,
and-- and I just didn't know it.
523
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:12,914
Grace, um,
Santa asked me to be the next Santa.
524
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,166
- What?
- But I said no.
525
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,876
- What?
- And then he asked me again.
526
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:19,921
Dad, don't be crazy! Take the job!
Be Santa! I love it here!
527
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:22,090
You do love it here?
528
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,050
Yes.
529
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:26,011
Okay, I mean, I always said
I wanted to be on top of the world.
530
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,096
I just never thought, you know, literally.
531
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,098
- Dad.
- Okay!
532
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:32,100
- I mean, I'll-- I'll take the job!
- [Carol] Yay!
533
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:37,522
Listen, you're gonna have to make
decisions a lot quicker on Christmas Eve.
534
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,483
I-I-I can't believe
this is happening right now.
535
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,526
- I have goose bumps.
- You know, it could be hives.
536
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:44,988
I think we both picked up
a little something from the witch's house.
537
00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:46,156
[sighs]
538
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:47,991
Okay.
539
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:51,286
With this ceremonial passing of the coat...
540
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:59,086
[sighs]
...you become custodian of Christmas.
541
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:01,880
- Oh, oh!
- [Scott, Carol] Oh.
542
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,340
- It's heavier than I thought.
- [Carol] Okay.
543
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,133
- [Scott] Yeah.
- [Simon] Sorry. [grunts] Whoa!
544
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,301
Oh, hey! Whoa. Geez.
545
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,845
- [Simon] Slippery little sucker.
- [Scott, Carol chuckle]
546
00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:10,013
Thanks, honey.
547
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:11,807
Stay there.
548
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,684
Okay, well, that's about it.
549
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:16,144
- Yeah.
- You guys ready?
550
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,522
So, so, so ready.
551
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,148
You gonna tell him about the Mrs. Clause?
552
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,526
No. I think that'll be
a nice little surprise. Don't you?
553
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:26,696
Okay, are you all ready to fall asleep
and wake up in your new life?
554
00:23:26,696 --> 00:23:28,907
I've got everything I need,
555
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:31,743
and I'm looking forward to seeing
who I am when I'm not Santa.
556
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:34,621
And I'm looking forward
to any identity whatsoever.
557
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,958
[stammers] Ready. We're ready, Edie.
558
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:39,835
Okay. Get ready for the angel dust.
559
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,170
I think we're gonna have
to call that something else.
560
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:44,256
- Yeah. Okay.
- [Carol] Yeah, okay.
561
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,175
Wait, no. No, not the dust.
562
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:48,677
Dad. Dad, please.
563
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,303
I don't wanna forget this place.
564
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:52,431
No. Listen,
only visitors lose their memory.
565
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:53,849
You will never forget.
566
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:57,436
The North Pole
will always be a part of you. Forever.
567
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,020
- Just like all of us.
- [Sandra] Mmm.
568
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,441
All right, here goes.
569
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,608
[Noel screams]
570
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,360
I know an elf's scream when I hear it.
571
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:06,945
- Seriously?
- [Scott] That's Noel.
572
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:09,072
I can't leave here without saying goodbye
to him.
573
00:24:09,072 --> 00:24:11,408
Try being married to that scream.
574
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:17,456
Forgive me, Santa,
but I couldn't do nothing.
575
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,084
["Last Christmas" playing]
576
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:32,929
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart ♪
577
00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:34,389
But the very... ♪
578
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:36,224
- [crying]
- [Scott] Aw.
579
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:37,684
I'm sorry, Santa.
580
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:39,728
Noel. Noel. Come on.
581
00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:41,938
It was perfect. It was perfect. Come on.
582
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,232
[sniffles] I need a minute.
583
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:45,901
Go back! Take it from the top!
584
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:48,445
Last Christmas ♪
585
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,363
I gave you my heart ♪
586
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:54,659
♪ But the very next day
You gave it away ♪
587
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:59,664
This year, to save me from tears ♪
588
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:03,668
I'll give it to someone special ♪
589
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:05,879
Once bitten and twice shy ♪
590
00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:07,714
We have a lot of work to do, sir.
591
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:10,258
Yes,
I definitely have some big shoes to fill.
592
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:14,054
Boots. You have big boots to fill.
593
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,514
♪ Tell me, baby
Do you recognize me? ♪
594
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,724
Okay. Boots.
595
00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:21,561
♪ Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me ♪
596
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:26,191
{\an8}♪ Merry Christmas
I wrapped it up and sent it ♪
597
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:29,569
♪ With a note saying, "I love you"
I meant it ♪
598
00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:30,487
Spelling!
599
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,032
{\an8}- Now I know what a fool I've been ♪
- [all screaming]
600
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,450
But if you kissed me now... ♪
601
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,535
There we go.
602
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,454
{\an8}- That's my name.
- [Carol] Oh, I love it.
603
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:41,122
- [song continues]
- From beginning to end,
604
00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:46,419
everything has always been just a bit off
in the most exquisite way.
605
00:25:46,419 --> 00:25:47,712
[Crouton] Uh, Mrs. Claus?
606
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,839
I need to ask you a question.
607
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,007
No, Crouton.
608
00:25:51,007 --> 00:25:53,510
I did not take the monogrammed towels
from the bathroom.
609
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:57,430
I know, which is why
I discreetly placed them in your luggage.
610
00:25:57,430 --> 00:26:02,018
- Oh.
- My question is, may I have a hug?
611
00:26:02,018 --> 00:26:03,895
♪ A man undercover
But you tore him apart ♪
612
00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:04,980
Uh-huh.
613
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:06,773
My God ♪
614
00:26:06,773 --> 00:26:09,734
I thought you were someone to rely on ♪
615
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:10,652
Oh.
616
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:12,237
Hi.
617
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:13,822
[song continues]
618
00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,825
Oh, my goodness. Bye.
619
00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,535
Okay. [clears throat]
620
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:19,953
Maybe we should stay.
621
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,289
It's too late to stay. You know what?
622
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:24,666
This is gonna be great for us.
It really is.
623
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:26,459
Look at this. [chuckles]
624
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,923
Careful with that dust. Watch the dust.
Watch the--
625
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,717
- [song stops]
- Oops.
626
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:38,179
[whispering] My bad.
627
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:40,765
[radio host shivers]
Another chilly morning, folks.
628
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:44,019
Which begs the question,
what's so great about Chicago?
629
00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:45,604
Lake Michigan...
630
00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:48,064
- Honey, honey, honey!
- What?
631
00:26:48,064 --> 00:26:50,400
- Chicago. Home.
- Oh! Oh.
632
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,152
I-- What? Oh.
633
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,862
[both chuckle]
634
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:56,573
Wow! Where did the rest of me go?
635
00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:58,074
Literally, where does it go?
636
00:26:58,074 --> 00:27:00,827
And whose hair looks that good
when they first wake up?
637
00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:02,078
It's elf magic!
638
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,250
Mom! Da-- [gasps]
639
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:09,628
Sandra, it's me.
640
00:27:11,254 --> 00:27:12,589
Who-- Who are you?
641
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:14,424
- It's Dad.
- I warned you this is what I look like.
642
00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:15,508
It's me.
643
00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:19,179
You-You didn't prepare me for this.
644
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:21,640
What is happening?
645
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:23,850
- Huh?
- I don't know.
646
00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:26,603
Cal!
647
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:28,772
- Cal!
- Don't worry. It's Dad.
648
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:29,856
Cal!
649
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,775
Yeah. Hey, what's up? [shrieks, gasps]
650
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:33,652
Guess who this random man is.
651
00:27:33,652 --> 00:27:35,445
[stammers] A guy named Ron?
652
00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:36,696
- Ron?
- No.
653
00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:37,739
A guy named Greg?
654
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:41,159
- Greg? Ron? What-- What-- It's Dad. Me.
- What is wrong with him?
655
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:42,702
Oh, Dad!
656
00:27:42,702 --> 00:27:45,622
Oh. You warned me you'd look different,
but this is--
657
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,666
I don't know.
658
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,960
Are you-- Are you okay?
Is-- Is the real world killing you?
659
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,045
- No, I'm fine.
- What?
660
00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:53,129
Stop touching me like that.
661
00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:55,173
Okay, well, I'm finer than fine.
662
00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:56,424
- Yeah?
-'Cause, guess what.
663
00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:58,677
- What?
- It's 8 degrees outside.
664
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,053
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
665
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:01,930
Above zero!
666
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,348
- Summer!
- [Cal] Yeah!
667
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:04,432
[Sandra] Let's go.
668
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,184
You look great.
669
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,268
Welcome home.
670
00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:08,645
Yeah, right?
671
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,397
[Cal, Sandra shouting]
672
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:11,648
- [Scott] Look at that.
- [Carol] Aw.
673
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,442
Running through slush in their pj's.
674
00:28:14,442 --> 00:28:16,903
- [Carol] They're so excited. This--
- [Scott] Yeah.
675
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:19,572
This is good.
676
00:28:19,572 --> 00:28:20,657
It's gonna work.
677
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:21,741
Yeah.
678
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:32,544
[energy crackling]
679
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:35,672
[whimpers]