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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Life is like a parody
of your favorite song.
4
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,026
Just when you think
you know all the words,
5
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:30,322
surprise, you don't know anything.
6
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,621
Clear the way, clear the way!
7
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,748
-Clear!
-Shut that door, please!
8
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,673
Clear!
9
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,345
Dammit. Dammit!
10
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,350
All right, nurse, let's call it.
11
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,229
Time of death: 7:30--
12
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,317
Quick!
13
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,028
I need some paper,
and a number two pencil.
14
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,990
But... maybe
I'm getting a little ahead of myself.
15
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,706
Why don't we start
back at the beginning.
16
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,128
All gabardine suits are now 30% off.
17
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,132
Jenkins in to the windup,
18
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,050
and the three-two fastball is in the--
19
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,512
President Nixon is on board Air--
20
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:47,024
Whoo-whoo-whoo wind up your radio!
21
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,444
It's time for The Dr. Demento Show,
22
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:55,783
two hours of mad music
and crazy comedy
23
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,786
-from out of the archives...
-Alfy!
24
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,246
What have we told you
about listening to that garbage?
25
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:05,125
But Mom, it's Dr. Demento.
It's my favorite show in the whole world.
26
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,668
It's going to rot your brain.
27
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,712
You're lucky your father
wasn't here to catch you, mister.
28
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,090
You know how he feels
about that kind of music.
29
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,841
Yes, I know.
30
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:20,182
All right. Now go on, go get washed up.
31
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,184
Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.
32
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,562
Alfy, aren't you going to ask
your father how his day was?
33
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,356
Um, how was your day, Dad?
34
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,235
What, how was my day?
35
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,030
We had another fatality
down at the factory.
36
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,158
Oh, God, real grisly one this time.
37
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,743
It was that McKinley kid
that started last week.
38
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,787
I kept telling him
to stop messing around
39
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,708
by that industrial shredder,
but he just wouldn't listen.
40
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,418
I would've reached
out and grabbed him,
41
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:33,213
but I already lost one hand
to that cursed machine.
42
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:38,302
Well, anyway, there's an opening
down on the factory floor.
43
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,053
Maybe I could pull a few strings
44
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,014
and you could spend the summer
working with your old man.
45
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,515
How's that sound?
46
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,726
Um, no, thank you.
47
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,227
"No, thank you."
48
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,229
Well, you're gonna have to learn
sooner or later,
49
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,816
that factory, that factory
will make a man outta you.
50
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,320
But I don't wanna work at the factory.
I wanna make songs.
51
00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:01,700
What? You wanna make songs?
Did you hear that, Mary?
52
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,578
We got a regular Bing Crosby
on our hands, don't we?
53
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,288
Nick, you're embarrassing him.
54
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,625
Oh, am I? Why don't you
sing us a little ditty, Bing, huh?
55
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,544
Such a little songbird.
Sing one for us.
56
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,689
Stop, stop! What in God's name
are you doing?
57
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,525
Those aren't the right words.
58
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,236
I know. I made 'em better.
59
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,405
By changing the lyrics
to a well-known song?
60
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,659
No, boy, what you're doing
is confusing and evil.
61
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,160
My God, and I will not have
62
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,746
that kind of blasphemy
in my own home.
63
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,373
But Dad...
64
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,667
What has gotten
into you, Alfred?
65
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,128
Hmm? With the songs and
the crazy magazines?
66
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,089
That is all gonna stop now,
young man!
67
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,966
Honey, I know it's hard to hear this,
68
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:02,678
but your dad and I had a long talk
69
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,889
and we agreed it would be best
for all of us
70
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:10,269
if you would just stop being who you are
and doing the things you love.
71
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:13,814
You don't understand me!
72
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,906
It was a few weeks later
73
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,284
when a mysterious stranger
showed up at my door
74
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,912
and changed my life forever.
75
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,875
Alfy, get the door.
76
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,338
Why, good afternoon, sir.
The gentleman of the house, I take it?
77
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:41,175
Well, congratulations.
Today is your lucky day.
78
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,678
How would you like to be
the envy of all of your friends
79
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,597
and the most popular fellow in town?
80
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,141
Well, everything you
need to make that happen...
81
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,143
is right here in this box.
82
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,733
Um, my dad is actually...
83
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,444
-Voila.
84
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,945
Feast your eyes.
85
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:09,578
Have you ever seen
such a gorgeous instrument?
86
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,167
Better yet, try it on.
87
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,758
Son, when you play the accordion,
you are a one-man band.
88
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,427
You are the life of every party.
89
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:29,181
Go ahead, son, tickle those ivories.
90
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,647
A natural talent.
91
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,442
Son, you cannot squander that.
92
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:43,237
You have got to buy this beauty,
and I guarantee it,
93
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,739
you are gonna have girls
lined up around the corner.
94
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,282
You're gonna need a lifeguard
95
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,951
because you're gonna be drowning
96
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:52,579
-in so much p--
-Hey! What's going on?
97
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,665
And hello to you, sir.
98
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,542
What are you doing in my house?
99
00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:00,462
And why is my innocent young child
wearing that devil's squeeze box?
100
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,672
That's actually our newest--
101
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,507
I thought I told you to shut up!
102
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,928
I don't remember you telling me
to shut up before,
103
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,055
but if you're telling me now,
I will gladly--
104
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,311
Dad!
105
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,981
-Ah!
106
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,070
Dad, stop! You're killing him!
107
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,698
Nick? Oh, Nick, oh, Nick!
108
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,076
No, Nick! Hey!
Nicky, stop it right now!
109
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,036
You made me do this, boy.
110
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,789
You brought this evil into the house.
And now look at you.
111
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,541
Look at you.
112
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:42,004
Take that devilish monstrosity off
this very instant.
113
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,256
I don't wanna see you
ever wearing it again!
114
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,759
Nick, why don't you go
take a little walk?
115
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,719
I think you'd better cool off.
116
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,513
-Yeah. Yeah.
117
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,225
I could use some fresh air
because it stinks in here.
118
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,322
I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
119
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:12,826
I'll be right here.
120
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,830
Mister, I'm so sorry about this.
121
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,666
My husband, he just has
a little bit of a temper,
122
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:23,420
but he is a good man and
he means well, but anyway,
123
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,547
if you're amenable to it,
124
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:28,342
we'd like to buy that accordion.
125
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,302
Mom! You mean it?
126
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,554
How do you feel about
an early Christmas present?
127
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:37,059
Yes! This is the best thing ever!
Thank you so much!
128
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,229
There's just one thing.
129
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:49,738
No one can see you playing it,
especially your father.
130
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:52,908
This is our secret.
Do you understand me?
131
00:08:55,244 --> 00:09:00,332
Mom... does Dad hate me?
132
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:04,545
No, of course not, sweetie.
133
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,798
Then why is he always
so hard on me?
134
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,136
Listen, you're too young
to understand now,
135
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:16,306
but just trust me,
your father has his reasons.
136
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:20,227
I think I have
a collapsed lung.
137
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:24,940
We're trying to have
a conversation here, sir.
138
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,443
For the next few years
I kept to myself,
139
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,028
and tried my best
to please Mom and Dad,
140
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:33,740
but deep down,
I felt like I was living a lie.
141
00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:36,910
Sure. I was well-behaved,
I got good grades,
142
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:40,956
but I never let anyone know
the real me.
143
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:45,002
Hey, Yankovic, you going to that party
at Hofstadter’s tonight?
144
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,505
-His parents are out of town.
-Ah, geez, guys, I don't know.
145
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,632
I'm not really allowed to go to parties.
146
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:53,510
You don't need to have
your parents' permission. Just sneak out.
147
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,179
I-I don't think I can.
148
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,556
My mom always tucks me in
in case I have night terrors.
149
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,099
You have night terrors?
150
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,310
No, I-- You know, just in case.
151
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,229
Well, just use a hay boy, then.
152
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,774
A hay boy? What's that?
153
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,067
-You don't know what a hay boy is?
154
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,528
Oh, dude, you've got a lot to learn.
155
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,948
Just let us handle everything.
We'll pick you up tonight.
156
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:17,910
Okay, yeah.
157
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:24,750
Night-night, Alfy. Don't let the bed bugs
give you night terrors.
158
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:46,647
I mean, Myron Floren is great and all,
Lawrence Welk sure likes him,
159
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,566
but he's way too overexposed.
160
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:53,362
For my money,
it's Whoopee John Wilfahrt
161
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,073
that really gets me just
hoppin' and steppin'.
162
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,076
I'm all about that Minnesota sound, man.
163
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,994
Look what I found!
164
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:04,623
Hey, hey! Hey, you didn't tell me
that this was gonna be a polka party.
165
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,626
-What, do you not like polka?
-No, I like it, it's--
166
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,629
My parents would kill me
if they knew I was here, okay?
167
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,841
I'm so, so sorry, guys. I-I-I gotta go.
I can't-- I can't be here, man.
168
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:17,010
Come on, Al. Live a little!
What's the worse that could happen?
169
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:20,764
You might actually let your guard down
and enjoy your life for once?
170
00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:29,273
Yeah, yeah, I can...
let my guard down.
171
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,905
Hey... and sorry.
172
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:43,495
Hey, everybody, look what I found!
173
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041
Dude, pass it here. Pass it.
174
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:56,550
-Okay, dude. Okay.
175
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,010
Al, here. You gotta try this.
176
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,928
Oh, no. No, no, thanks. I'm good.
177
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,513
Al's afraid his mommy and daddy
178
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:03,432
are gonna find out
he tried an accordion.
179
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,811
I just don't wanna play, okay?
Just, just lay off me, man!
180
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,649
No, guys--
181
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,443
-I'm not gonna--
182
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:22,075
I'm not-- I'm not-- I'm not--
183
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:28,165
Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll play, yeah.
184
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,086
-It's the cops! Everyone, run!
185
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,970
I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am,
186
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:27,474
but I'm afraid we found your son
at a polka party.
187
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,476
He was playing an accordion.
188
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,104
That's impossible. Alfy's in--
189
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:36,567
A hay boy?! Really?
190
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,570
What did I do to deserve this,
huh? Huh?
191
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,738
It's like I don't even
know you anymore, Al.
192
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,783
You want me to be like you.
Look at me, I'm nothing like you.
193
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,326
You want me to work that factory.
194
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,829
Okay, I don't even know
what you make down there.
195
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,330
You just call it the factory.
196
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,207
You will find out what we make
at the factory
197
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:53,667
when you work at the factory!
198
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:57,296
Well, it's my life,
and I wanna make music
199
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,006
and I wanna play the accordion.
200
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,507
Ah, hogwash!
201
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:04,970
And I'm good. I'm really, really good!
202
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,056
How did you get good
at playing the accordion, huh? Huh?
203
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,225
It certainly wasn't
under my roof, was it?
204
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:12,978
What'd you do, sneak out
and practice in the woods
205
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,438
in the middle of the night?
206
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:18,609
No. I played it here, quietly.
207
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,154
Yeah, I play in the closet.
208
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,284
But I'm not a closet accordion player
anymore.
209
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,077
It feels good!
210
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,958
The closet, you say?
211
00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:39,922
Hmm...
212
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,299
No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Dad.
213
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,384
No-no-no. You're not going--
It's not in there.
214
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,969
You're not gonna find anything in there.
215
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,055
Dad, what are you doing?
No, no, Dad-- No-no-no-no--
216
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,640
Dad, no. Dad, please.
217
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:50,724
-Uh-huh?
-Stop, stop.
218
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:52,267
-Boy.
-Stop. Stop it.
219
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:55,062
-Boy, this...
-Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no!
220
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,563
This is for your own good, boy.
221
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,482
No, I need this, I need this--
222
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,530
Nooo!
223
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,951
No, no, no, no, no!
224
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:12,079
You-- You think you're gonna stop me
from playing?
225
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,498
You'll see.
One day I'm gonna be the best--
226
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,126
Well, perhaps not technically the best,
227
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:20,462
but arguably the most
famous accordion player
228
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:23,674
in an extremely specific genre of music.
229
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,008
I'll show you.
230
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,845
I'll show everybody!
231
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,097
Get out!
232
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,601
-Good riddance!
233
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:45,779
Things at home
never got any better after that.
234
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:48,198
But within a few years, I graduated
235
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:51,577
and I was able to move out
and live on my own.
236
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,371
Well, with three other guys
in a dirt-cheap apartment,
237
00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:58,333
but the point is, I didn't
have to answer to anybody.
238
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,419
-Hey, hey.
-Howdy.
239
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,629
Now I'd have a chance
to find others
240
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:05,340
who would truly understand me.
241
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:08,343
I could find my people.
242
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:27,112
-Okay.
243
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:33,160
-Okay, that's enough. Thanks.
-Mm.
244
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:37,414
Yeah. Very... very interesting.
245
00:16:37,498 --> 00:16:40,375
So... we'll let you know, okay?
246
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:44,922
Great. Um, when?
247
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,965
Right now. You didn't make it.
248
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,057
This sucks.
249
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,268
It's the fifth audition
I've been kicked out of this week.
250
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,897
It's almost like nobody wants
an accordion player in their band.
251
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,690
That just doesn't make any sense.
252
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,567
Yeah. Accordions are cool.
253
00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,903
That's the problem
with being on the bleeding edge.
254
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,155
You gotta wait for the rest of the world
to catch up with you.
255
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,324
I don't have time to wait.
256
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:14,451
If nobody wants to have me
in their group,
257
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,453
I'm just gonna have
to go it in on my own.
258
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,372
Don't worry,
it's gonna happen for you.
259
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,541
You just gotta hang in there.
We got your back.
260
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:23,836
Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys.
You've just been so great.
261
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,629
You really get me.
262
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,923
It is such a difference after living
with my folks for so long.
263
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,051
Yeah. And you know, the best part
of moving away from home
264
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:34,430
is you can do anything you want.
Hook up with girls...
265
00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,056
Get high all the time.
266
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,851
Yeah, I mean, literally anything.
There are no rules.
267
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:40,519
Just last night, I was driving
268
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:43,313
down the wrong side of the 101
with my eyes closed,
269
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:46,024
not knowing whether I was
gonna live to see another day
270
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,778
or die in a horrible, fiery wreck.
271
00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:51,196
Suck on that, Mom and Dad.
272
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,157
-Yeah. You get it, Steve.
-You go, Steve.
273
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,450
Oh, wow, Steve.
274
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,909
What about you, Al?
275
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:57,619
What's something you always
wanted to do,
276
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,037
but you were never allowed to?
277
00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:08,964
Make up new words
to a song that already exists.
278
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,554
-Oh, well, you should do that, then.
-Absolutely.
279
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:19,141
Yeah. Why don't you do it right now?
Go on. Make up something brilliant.
280
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:23,479
No, guys, it's not that easy.
I gotta wait for inspiration to strike,
281
00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,774
and I'm pretty sure that well dried up
a long time ago.
282
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,942
Oh, well, if you're not
gonna write us a song,
283
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,778
why don't you make us
some sandwiches?
284
00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:33,071
Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving.
285
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:36,450
Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich!
286
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:40,204
Okay, okay, okay. Guys, I'm on it.
Jim, you wanna put on some tunes?
287
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,288
Yeah.
288
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,595
Oh, Steve?
This bologna has your name on it.
289
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,055
-Can we?
-Uh, yeah, sure.
290
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,390
Just open up a package of my bologna.
291
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,879
Is this DJ asleep?
The record keeps skipping.
292
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:33,382
Hey! Wake up.
293
00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:47,312
Al?
294
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,282
You okay?
295
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,732
Where did that come from?
296
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,150
Dude, I've got chills.
297
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,027
I don't know, it just came out of me.
298
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,780
I've never heard anything like that
before in my life.
299
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,114
You have to record that.
300
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,699
Record it? No, come on, guys.
301
00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:42,785
Al, you've got something here.
302
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:46,580
I don't know if it comes
from God or the devil,
303
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:49,792
but the world needs to hear it.
304
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:52,711
No, forget it, guys. I don't have
the money for a recording studio.
305
00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:56,965
I think the bathroom at the bus station
has pretty good acoustics.
306
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,138
Yeah, sounds good in here.
307
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:05,516
You can put it right there,
that works.
308
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:59,069
All right. Just mailed the tape off
to Captain Buffoon.
309
00:21:59,153 --> 00:22:03,574
Now, I guess, all I gotta do
is sit back and wait to become famous.
310
00:22:03,657 --> 00:22:06,827
Yeah, I don't think
that's quite how it works, Al.
311
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:09,872
Nobody becomes famous overnight.
That's a myth.
312
00:22:09,955 --> 00:22:14,042
Sometimes it takes years,
decades of hard work to get noticed.
313
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:16,211
-What?
-Look, I believe in you.
314
00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,380
I know it's gonna
happen for you someday,
315
00:22:18,464 --> 00:22:20,841
but you can't just mail your
tape off to some disc jockey
316
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:22,885
and expect to instantly become
a sensation.
317
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:25,220
Man, why can't I catch a break?
318
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:30,350
Captain Buffoon on your radio dial.
319
00:22:30,434 --> 00:22:32,269
No, I'm not making this up--
320
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,730
I just received this tape
in the mail a few minutes ago,
321
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:38,108
and what can I say?
It's an instant sensation!
322
00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:41,111
It's already the number one
most-requested song of the week,
323
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,071
and we're playing it all day long.
324
00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:47,534
So, here it is, once again,
Al Yankovic with "My Bologna!"
325
00:22:52,790 --> 00:22:55,584
-Again!
326
00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:03,175
You know what this means, right?
327
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,594
You gotta get yourself a record deal.
328
00:23:37,918 --> 00:23:39,670
I've heard enough.
329
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:45,384
And what did you think?
330
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:48,762
Do you know why they call it
the "music business"?
331
00:23:48,846 --> 00:23:50,806
Uh, why?
332
00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:52,057
Because it's a business.
333
00:23:52,141 --> 00:23:53,475
It's a business!
334
00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:55,018
Use your head, kid.
335
00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:57,354
Nobody wants to hear
a parody song
336
00:23:57,438 --> 00:24:00,357
when they can hear the real thing
for the same price.
337
00:24:00,441 --> 00:24:02,025
What's the point?
338
00:24:02,109 --> 00:24:04,194
Yeah, it makes
no financial sense, whatsoever.
339
00:24:04,278 --> 00:24:06,155
Uh, my-my-my song was actually
340
00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:08,157
a-a big hit on
The Captain Buffoon Show.
341
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,117
-Oh!
-What?
342
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,535
Captain Buffoon? Really?
343
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,162
-Yeah.
-Wait, wait.
344
00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:15,205
Captain Buffoon actually
played your song on the radio?
345
00:24:15,289 --> 00:24:16,707
Yeah.
346
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,542
Why didn't you tell us?
This changes everything.
347
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:21,628
Ben, get this young gentleman
a record contract this very instant.
348
00:24:21,712 --> 00:24:24,089
We are gonna sign him
to a 14-album deal.
349
00:24:24,173 --> 00:24:25,382
Wait, really?
350
00:24:25,466 --> 00:24:28,093
No! What do you think I am,
an idiot?
351
00:24:28,177 --> 00:24:30,387
-He's not an idiot!
-I'm not an idiot!
352
00:24:30,471 --> 00:24:32,765
-If I may interject here.
-Please.
353
00:24:32,848 --> 00:24:34,892
Look, I'd just like to say
354
00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:37,102
that you got some nerve
coming in here
355
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:41,857
and wasting my time and
my brother Tony's time.
356
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:46,445
I'm gonna remember your name
because you, Al Yankovic,
357
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:49,990
are the most untalented, pathetic loser
358
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:53,035
that I've ever met in my entire life.
359
00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,745
Okay, um, maybe--
360
00:24:54,828 --> 00:25:00,000
You're nothing but a hack,
a stupid, useless parasite,
361
00:25:00,084 --> 00:25:03,295
-and you're so ugly.
-Okay...
362
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:07,466
That ridiculous hair,
that horrible mustache,
363
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:09,384
stupid glasses.
364
00:25:09,468 --> 00:25:10,761
You make me wanna throw up!
365
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:12,471
All right, thank you.
Thank you, Ben.
366
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:14,348
Thank you, Ben, for your,
for your thoughts.
367
00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,933
-Thank you.
-Jeez.
368
00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:17,726
-Ugh.
-Look, kid,
369
00:25:17,810 --> 00:25:22,022
if you really have your heart set
on doing this stupid music,
370
00:25:22,106 --> 00:25:24,233
maybe write more than one song.
371
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:28,237
Yeah, all the biggest musical acts
have more than one song in their catalog.
372
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,696
That's very true.
373
00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:31,657
And also, get out
in front of a live audience.
374
00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,367
Any audience, any stage,
375
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:36,537
just get out there, build up your chops,
and who knows?
376
00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:40,165
Maybe someday... we'll talk again.
377
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:43,252
But don't count on it
because you truly suck.
378
00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:44,294
Right.
379
00:25:44,378 --> 00:25:45,546
Okay.
380
00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:02,146
Thank you! We are Skunk Barf!
381
00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:06,275
-You guys suck!
382
00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:16,618
I can't do this. I can't do this.
383
00:26:16,702 --> 00:26:18,704
Just relax, you'll be great.
384
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,497
Yeah, the new song's a bona fide hit.
385
00:26:20,581 --> 00:26:22,332
It's about ice cream!
386
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:24,042
Everybody likes ice cream.
387
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:27,504
This seems like more of
a whiskey and... heroin crowd.
388
00:26:27,588 --> 00:26:30,799
Look, guys, I appreciate you being here
for moral support and everything,
389
00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:33,594
but they are literally gonna kill me.
We need to leave right now.
390
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,804
Don't be silly, man.
They're gonna love you.
391
00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:37,431
All right, we got, uh, most of the blood
392
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:41,935
cleaned off the stage,
so you're on, now.
393
00:26:42,019 --> 00:26:45,898
-Go start the car.
-Nah, you got this, Al.
394
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:48,484
This is your moment.
Go get 'em, champ.
395
00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:52,112
-Go get 'em.
396
00:26:58,619 --> 00:27:02,331
All right, all right,
who's ready for some more music?
397
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,877
Okay, uh, coming next to the stage,
398
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,089
it's this guy's first time,
Al Yankovic.
399
00:27:14,968 --> 00:27:16,887
-Hey.
400
00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:17,971
Sorry.
401
00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:21,934
Sorry.
402
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:24,728
Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt, Trapper John!
403
00:27:27,356 --> 00:27:28,816
Um...
404
00:27:34,113 --> 00:27:35,322
Boo!
405
00:27:54,508 --> 00:27:56,218
This guy needs some help.
406
00:28:32,171 --> 00:28:34,798
Gimme a shot of tequila
and two scoops of rum raisin.
407
00:28:34,882 --> 00:28:36,425
We don't sell ice cream here.
408
00:28:36,508 --> 00:28:38,802
You better start selling it
before this song's over
409
00:28:38,886 --> 00:28:41,638
or you're gonna have a riot
on your hands.
410
00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:38,570
Why didn't you guys tell me
you could play? You're great.
411
00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:40,614
I guess it didn't seem relevant 'til now.
412
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:44,159
-Thank you!
413
00:29:49,331 --> 00:29:50,624
Oh, hey.
414
00:29:51,834 --> 00:29:55,671
Oh! You're Dr. Demento.
415
00:29:55,754 --> 00:29:59,216
Oh, wow. I, I am such a huge fan.
I can't believe this.
416
00:29:59,299 --> 00:30:01,510
I've been listening to your show
my entire life.
417
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:04,513
Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio--
418
00:30:04,596 --> 00:30:05,889
-Don't do that.
-Sorry.
419
00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:07,933
Um, did you see the show?
420
00:30:08,016 --> 00:30:11,603
I did. And let me
tell you something, kid.
421
00:30:11,687 --> 00:30:13,981
Every once in a great while,
I can spot a talent
422
00:30:14,064 --> 00:30:16,817
that I know is headed
straight to the top.
423
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,652
Nervous Norvus,
424
00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:21,155
Wild Man Fischer,
425
00:30:21,238 --> 00:30:24,241
and now... you.
426
00:30:24,324 --> 00:30:28,036
What I saw you do on that stage
tonight blew my mind!
427
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,665
I'm telling you, you've cracked the code.
You're onto something special.
428
00:30:31,749 --> 00:30:33,375
Wow, I mean, you, you,
you have no idea
429
00:30:33,459 --> 00:30:35,127
what it means
for me to hear you say that.
430
00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:38,172
-Thank you so much.
-Oh...
431
00:30:38,255 --> 00:30:41,133
I only wish the Scotti Brothers
felt the same way.
432
00:30:41,216 --> 00:30:43,594
Ah, those suits.
They couldn't recognize real talent
433
00:30:43,677 --> 00:30:47,639
if it slapped them in the face
with a dead fish.
434
00:30:47,723 --> 00:30:50,559
But I might be able to
get them to notice you.
435
00:30:50,642 --> 00:30:51,935
How?
436
00:30:52,019 --> 00:30:54,730
Well, stick with me, huh?
437
00:30:54,813 --> 00:30:57,399
I know a little something
about the biz.
438
00:30:57,483 --> 00:31:01,236
Uh, wait, are-are you saying
you want to be my mentor?
439
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:06,492
No, I'm saying I want to be your...
de-mentor!
440
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:18,045
But first, we gotta find you
a stage name.
441
00:31:18,128 --> 00:31:21,632
I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech.
442
00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:23,717
Doesn't exactly trip off
the tongue now, does it?
443
00:31:23,801 --> 00:31:25,552
I guess not.
444
00:31:25,636 --> 00:31:27,638
It's so clunky. It's long.
It's ungainly. It's hard to pronounce.
445
00:31:27,721 --> 00:31:28,847
Sorry.
446
00:31:28,931 --> 00:31:31,350
Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there.
447
00:31:31,433 --> 00:31:33,936
Would you be willing
to change your name to...
448
00:31:35,813 --> 00:31:40,317
Weird... Al Yankovic?
449
00:31:41,860 --> 00:31:43,028
I love it.
450
00:31:43,112 --> 00:31:46,490
Great. Great!
451
00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,742
Hey, I'm having a little pool party
at the house this weekend.
452
00:31:48,826 --> 00:31:50,744
I'd love to introduce
you to some folks.
453
00:31:50,828 --> 00:31:52,246
What do you say you come on by,
454
00:31:52,329 --> 00:31:54,331
we'll continue this conversation
at the grotto.
455
00:31:54,415 --> 00:31:55,666
Yes, of course!
456
00:31:55,749 --> 00:32:00,629
Mm-hmm. And don't forget to stay demented!
457
00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:03,465
You got it.
458
00:32:16,395 --> 00:32:21,316
H-H-Hey!
There he is, my newest superstar.
459
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,610
Ah, so glad you could make it.
460
00:32:23,694 --> 00:32:25,571
I've been telling everyone about you,
461
00:32:25,654 --> 00:32:28,449
and, uh, looks like you've
brought your band.
462
00:32:28,532 --> 00:32:30,117
Okay, fine.
463
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,286
Uh, there's some canapés right
over there, gentlemen.
464
00:32:32,369 --> 00:32:34,663
Help yourselves. So,
let me show you around, okay?
465
00:32:34,747 --> 00:32:37,750
Everyone's dying to meet you.
Oh, right this way.
466
00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:39,835
-Uh, Mr. Herman.
-Hello.
467
00:32:39,918 --> 00:32:41,712
I'd like you to meet
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
468
00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:44,131
Ah, a rising star.
469
00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,758
Pleased to meet you.
470
00:32:50,763 --> 00:32:53,265
And this is, of course, Tiny Tim.
471
00:32:53,348 --> 00:32:59,021
Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
Oh, why, you're just the cat's pajamas.
472
00:32:59,104 --> 00:33:00,898
Is that a good thing?
473
00:33:00,981 --> 00:33:02,107
Sure.
474
00:33:02,191 --> 00:33:04,359
Ah, excuse us, gentlemen.
475
00:33:04,443 --> 00:33:06,236
Nice to meet you.
476
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,530
So that's Demento's new protégé.
477
00:33:08,614 --> 00:33:12,618
You know, I hear they don't even hand out
raincoats and tarps at his shows.
478
00:33:12,701 --> 00:33:14,161
Amateur hour.
479
00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:18,624
Amateur hour.
480
00:33:18,707 --> 00:33:22,211
-Well, hello, Dali.
-Andy.
481
00:33:22,294 --> 00:33:26,799
What do you think of
this "Weird Al" Yankovic?
482
00:33:26,882 --> 00:33:32,012
Dali predicts he will change
everything we know about art!
483
00:33:32,096 --> 00:33:35,474
Weird Al will change the world!
484
00:33:35,557 --> 00:33:38,685
Eh, I give him 15 minutes.
485
00:33:38,769 --> 00:33:42,940
Well, well, well, if it isn't Dr. Demento.
486
00:33:43,023 --> 00:33:46,193
Wolfman Jack.
Who let you in here?
487
00:33:46,276 --> 00:33:49,404
The Wolfman goes where
the Wolfman wants, baby.
488
00:33:53,909 --> 00:33:55,369
Security!
489
00:33:55,452 --> 00:33:59,540
Relax. I just came by
to lay eyes on this cat
490
00:33:59,623 --> 00:34:02,084
you've been paradin' around.
491
00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:04,545
The one who takes
preexisting musical compositions
492
00:34:04,628 --> 00:34:08,090
and completely changes the lyrics.
493
00:34:08,173 --> 00:34:12,136
He has a name, you know.
And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic.
494
00:34:12,219 --> 00:34:15,639
Well then, put 'er there, Weird Al.
495
00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:17,975
Oooh! Too slow.
496
00:34:18,058 --> 00:34:19,476
What is the meaning of this?
497
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,020
This is me telling you
that I know hit talent
498
00:34:22,104 --> 00:34:24,231
when I see it, and this kid ain't it.
499
00:34:24,314 --> 00:34:27,776
He'll never crack the top 40,
he's too niche.
500
00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:32,865
This kid, as you call him,
is the future of music.
501
00:34:32,948 --> 00:34:37,453
Right. Well, if he's so great,
how about he comes up
502
00:34:37,536 --> 00:34:41,039
with a new parody song
right now on the spot?
503
00:34:41,123 --> 00:34:42,875
-Ooh...
-Whoa.
504
00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:46,211
I mean, come on, man. It's a party.
I don't know that's a good idea.
505
00:34:46,295 --> 00:34:48,297
Do "Another One Bites the Dust."
506
00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:52,301
That seems fitting,
who said that?
507
00:34:52,384 --> 00:34:55,679
I did. I'm John Deacon...
508
00:34:59,183 --> 00:35:00,517
of Queen.
509
00:35:03,729 --> 00:35:05,314
I play the bass in Queen.
510
00:35:05,397 --> 00:35:07,065
Oh...
511
00:35:07,149 --> 00:35:09,568
All right, future boy.
512
00:35:09,651 --> 00:35:13,489
Let's hear what you can do
with "Another One Bites the Dust."
513
00:35:22,873 --> 00:35:24,291
We're waiting.
514
00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:28,921
You don't have to
prove anything to him.
515
00:35:29,004 --> 00:35:31,965
Come on, guy from Queen.
516
00:35:32,049 --> 00:35:36,595
Let's go find a party
with some real talent.
517
00:35:41,475 --> 00:35:44,394
Get me my accordion.
518
00:35:44,478 --> 00:35:46,188
Hey, you like deviled eggs?
519
00:35:46,271 --> 00:35:49,108
I love a good deviled egg.
They don't love me, though.
520
00:37:40,469 --> 00:37:41,845
I don't know what to say.
521
00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:45,015
That was the--
522
00:37:45,099 --> 00:37:48,227
That was the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard in my entire life.
523
00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:53,232
You truly have a rare gift, Weird Al.
524
00:38:01,532 --> 00:38:05,619
Hey mate, we're playing
a little gig next week
525
00:38:05,702 --> 00:38:10,833
called Live Aid,
Wembley Stadium.
526
00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:13,127
I'd be honored if you
would join the band
527
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:16,338
and play that song on stage with us.
528
00:38:18,424 --> 00:38:19,758
What do you say?
529
00:38:26,473 --> 00:38:28,100
Hard pass!
530
00:38:35,858 --> 00:38:38,610
-This guy?
-Get him, get him out of here!
531
00:38:43,198 --> 00:38:45,868
I felt like
I was on top of the world,
532
00:38:45,951 --> 00:38:49,663
but this was just the beginning.
533
00:38:49,747 --> 00:38:53,208
"Weird Al" Yankovic is
one of the most exciting
534
00:38:53,292 --> 00:38:55,544
new artists in pop music today.
535
00:38:55,627 --> 00:38:58,255
His self-titled debut album
536
00:38:58,338 --> 00:39:02,134
was just certified quintuple platinum.
537
00:39:03,594 --> 00:39:05,804
Simply by taking well-known pop songs
538
00:39:05,888 --> 00:39:07,306
and changing the lyrics,
539
00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:09,808
Yankovic has taken the world by storm.
540
00:39:09,892 --> 00:39:13,061
I have never seen a collection
of Hawaiian shirts like this.
541
00:39:13,145 --> 00:39:14,730
Oh, well, thank you, Oprah!
542
00:39:14,813 --> 00:39:17,149
He has the number one album
in 20 countries
543
00:39:17,232 --> 00:39:19,109
and counts among his fans
such luminaries as...
544
00:39:19,193 --> 00:39:21,069
Hey, turn this up.
545
00:39:21,153 --> 00:39:23,781
...President Ronald Reagan
and Pope John Paul II.
546
00:39:23,864 --> 00:39:26,909
Even international drug lord
Pablo Escobar
547
00:39:26,992 --> 00:39:29,787
calls Weird Al his favorite musician.
548
00:39:36,043 --> 00:39:37,795
And what about this,
this necklace you're wearing?
549
00:39:37,878 --> 00:39:39,338
Oh, these, yeah.
550
00:39:39,421 --> 00:39:41,298
I, uh, I wear one
solid platinum record medallion
551
00:39:41,381 --> 00:39:43,008
for each time my album went platinum.
552
00:39:43,092 --> 00:39:45,427
So that's one, two, three, four, five.
553
00:39:45,511 --> 00:39:47,221
Wow. Those look heavy.
554
00:39:47,304 --> 00:39:49,431
They are super uncomfortable.
555
00:39:49,515 --> 00:39:52,184
And it's not
just the record company
556
00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:54,728
that's cashing in on Weird Al fever.
557
00:39:54,812 --> 00:39:58,482
The artists he's parodying
are experiencing a phenomenon
558
00:39:58,565 --> 00:40:01,276
that's being called the Yankovic Bump.
559
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,530
The Knack, Joan Jett
and even Queen
560
00:40:04,613 --> 00:40:07,407
have seen their
album sales double
561
00:40:07,491 --> 00:40:10,911
after Weird Al put
his unique spin on their songs.
562
00:40:10,994 --> 00:40:15,082
Which begs the question,
who will be next?
563
00:40:15,165 --> 00:40:18,293
Who indeed?
564
00:40:18,377 --> 00:40:22,756
Al, you really do seem to have
the Midas touch.
565
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,384
I've never seen anything like it
in all my years.
566
00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:27,970
Your parents must be proud.
567
00:40:28,053 --> 00:40:30,764
Yeah. Yeah, my parents...
568
00:40:40,274 --> 00:40:41,650
Is everything okay?
569
00:40:41,733 --> 00:40:44,153
Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course.
570
00:40:44,236 --> 00:40:46,572
Yeah, whose, whose parents
wouldn't be proud?
571
00:40:46,655 --> 00:40:48,031
Exactly.
572
00:40:49,658 --> 00:40:52,661
-Al? Al?
573
00:40:57,458 --> 00:40:58,584
Hello?
574
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:02,463
- Hey, Mom. It's me.
-Alfy?
575
00:41:02,546 --> 00:41:04,506
It's been a long time, hasn't it?
576
00:41:06,592 --> 00:41:08,093
We saw you on the TV.
577
00:41:08,177 --> 00:41:10,596
It's crazy, right?
578
00:41:10,679 --> 00:41:12,765
Yeah, who would've thought?
579
00:41:12,848 --> 00:41:15,267
I'm actually gearing up
for a residency right now
580
00:41:15,350 --> 00:41:17,352
at Madison Square Garden.
581
00:41:17,436 --> 00:41:20,105
Sold out 25 nights in a row.
582
00:41:20,189 --> 00:41:21,940
They're, uh, they're moving the Knicks
583
00:41:22,024 --> 00:41:23,734
to a hockey rink in Jersey
for a month.
584
00:41:23,817 --> 00:41:25,486
-Huh.
-Yep.
585
00:41:25,569 --> 00:41:27,404
Yep. I'm living the dream.
586
00:41:27,488 --> 00:41:29,740
I mean, to have 20,000 people
every night
587
00:41:29,823 --> 00:41:31,950
singing along to my words
588
00:41:32,034 --> 00:41:34,078
to other people's music.
589
00:41:34,161 --> 00:41:36,997
I feel truly alive
when I'm on that stage.
590
00:41:37,081 --> 00:41:38,457
Oh, that's nice.
591
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:41,168
Are you eating enough bran?
592
00:41:42,753 --> 00:41:44,880
-What?
-Well, it's important.
593
00:41:44,963 --> 00:41:47,341
It keeps you regular
and you know how you get
594
00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:49,802
when you're not having
your regular BMs, Alfy.
595
00:41:49,885 --> 00:41:52,846
I-- Yeah, sure.
596
00:41:52,930 --> 00:41:56,350
Good. That's good.
597
00:41:57,726 --> 00:42:02,648
So, um, so how's Dad?
598
00:42:02,731 --> 00:42:06,151
Gosh, your father's a complicated man.
599
00:42:06,235 --> 00:42:08,320
Does he ever talk about me?
600
00:42:08,403 --> 00:42:11,573
Oh, sure, all the time. Yes.
601
00:42:11,657 --> 00:42:13,826
There's so many things
that he wants to tell you,
602
00:42:13,909 --> 00:42:15,285
but it's just difficult for him.
603
00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:17,371
Well, like what?
604
00:42:17,454 --> 00:42:19,748
You know, what does
he want to tell me?
605
00:42:19,832 --> 00:42:24,461
Well, mostly he just
wants to let you know that
606
00:42:24,545 --> 00:42:26,630
he's definitely not proud of you.
607
00:42:27,965 --> 00:42:29,383
What?
608
00:42:29,466 --> 00:42:31,260
Yes. He told me to be crystal clear
about that.
609
00:42:31,343 --> 00:42:33,929
Also, he still thinks that parody songs
are stupid
610
00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:35,264
and I don't have to tell you
611
00:42:35,347 --> 00:42:36,932
how he feels about the accordion, do I?
612
00:42:37,015 --> 00:42:38,684
Okay. Well, Mom,
I actually have to go now.
613
00:42:38,767 --> 00:42:40,686
You know, he just never
really wanted to have kids.
614
00:42:40,769 --> 00:42:42,479
Okay. Well, great talking to you.
615
00:42:42,563 --> 00:42:45,107
Listen, if you do wanna get
that job down at the factory,
616
00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:47,192
I'm sure your father can
pull a few strings for you.
617
00:42:47,276 --> 00:42:48,694
All right. Take care now, bye-bye.
618
00:42:48,777 --> 00:42:50,362
-Love you, Alfy!
-Yep!
619
00:43:01,582 --> 00:43:05,544
Oh, tough call with the folks, huh?
620
00:43:05,627 --> 00:43:08,380
You know, I can fire up the downstairs
hot tub for you if you'd like.
621
00:43:08,464 --> 00:43:10,758
Oh, no, no, this is fine. I don't want to
put you through any trouble.
622
00:43:10,841 --> 00:43:12,301
I-- It's really no trouble.
623
00:43:12,384 --> 00:43:14,219
I mean, there are actually
three other Jacuzzis
624
00:43:14,303 --> 00:43:16,263
in the house that are
not here in my bedroom.
625
00:43:16,346 --> 00:43:19,683
Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but really, I'm good.
626
00:43:19,767 --> 00:43:23,103
You, on the other hand,
you don't seem so good.
627
00:43:23,187 --> 00:43:25,105
Do you wanna talk about it?
628
00:43:28,901 --> 00:43:32,362
It's just, my whole life,
629
00:43:32,446 --> 00:43:37,993
all I've wanted is for my
father to accept me for who I am.
630
00:43:38,076 --> 00:43:41,246
And I thought if I became
this huge success,
631
00:43:41,330 --> 00:43:43,415
that that would change things, but...
632
00:43:43,499 --> 00:43:44,708
Mm.
633
00:43:46,376 --> 00:43:49,505
But he still hates everything about me.
634
00:43:52,758 --> 00:43:55,552
You know, maybe he's right.
Maybe parody songs are stupid.
635
00:43:55,636 --> 00:43:58,889
Look, you don't have to
write parody songs
636
00:43:58,972 --> 00:44:00,140
if you don't want to.
637
00:44:00,224 --> 00:44:02,601
What?
638
00:44:02,684 --> 00:44:04,812
You look a little hungry.
Here, have a snack.
639
00:44:07,147 --> 00:44:09,858
You can write your own songs.
640
00:44:11,527 --> 00:44:13,112
You think I took
you under my wing
641
00:44:13,195 --> 00:44:15,656
because you write parody songs?
642
00:44:15,739 --> 00:44:19,243
No, I saw in you a visionary,
643
00:44:19,326 --> 00:44:23,163
an artist who has
something to give to the world.
644
00:44:23,247 --> 00:44:25,040
I saw in you something special,
645
00:44:25,124 --> 00:44:28,335
something your father doesn't see
646
00:44:28,419 --> 00:44:30,712
and that even you don't see...
647
00:44:32,923 --> 00:44:34,007
yet.
648
00:44:34,091 --> 00:44:35,843
This guacamole tastes funny.
649
00:44:35,926 --> 00:44:39,430
Of course it does.
It's loaded with LSD.
650
00:44:39,513 --> 00:44:40,681
What?!
651
00:44:40,764 --> 00:44:42,975
-No!
652
00:44:43,058 --> 00:44:46,645
You need to open your heart
and your mind,
653
00:44:46,728 --> 00:44:49,898
face your fears,
break your chains,
654
00:44:49,982 --> 00:44:52,276
come with me on a spiritual journey.
655
00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:54,445
Find your source of inspiration!
656
00:44:54,528 --> 00:44:57,406
No, that-that is totally not cool, man.
You can't just--
657
00:44:57,489 --> 00:45:00,367
Whoa, no, what is happening
to your head?
658
00:45:00,451 --> 00:45:02,202
That's probably the drugs kicking in.
659
00:45:02,286 --> 00:45:04,288
Just relax and enjoy the ride.
660
00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:07,040
It'll be over in like, 10 to 12 hours.
661
00:45:07,124 --> 00:45:10,586
12 hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
662
00:45:12,463 --> 00:45:15,007
I'm just gonna close my eyes
and when I open them up again,
663
00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:16,925
everything is gonna
be completely back to--
664
00:45:25,934 --> 00:45:29,104
What in God's name
are you doing, boy?
665
00:45:29,188 --> 00:45:30,981
Those aren't the right words!
666
00:45:31,064 --> 00:45:35,486
Please, just stop being who you are
and doing the things you love.
667
00:45:35,569 --> 00:45:39,239
You, Al Yankovic,
are the most untalented,
668
00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:43,744
pathetic loser I've ever
met in my entire life!
669
00:45:43,827 --> 00:45:46,497
No, no, no, stop it.
Leave me alone!
670
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:54,713
Alfred Yankovic, this is your time.
671
00:45:54,797 --> 00:45:58,759
Believe in yourself,
and the song will come to you.
672
00:45:58,842 --> 00:46:00,511
Don't listen to him, boy!
673
00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:03,472
You belong with me, at the factory!
674
00:46:03,555 --> 00:46:07,017
It's your destiny!
675
00:46:07,101 --> 00:46:10,479
Aah! No!
676
00:46:17,986 --> 00:46:20,197
Aah! No!
677
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,076
He's losing his power
over you, keep going!
678
00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:26,036
I can't!
679
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,914
Maybe you should try
a little Cap'n Crunch.
680
00:46:30,249 --> 00:46:32,000
What?
681
00:46:32,084 --> 00:46:33,794
Raisin Bran, perhaps?
682
00:46:35,337 --> 00:46:37,923
No, no! I don't want no Cap'n Crunch!
683
00:46:38,006 --> 00:46:39,842
Don't want no Raisin Bran!
684
00:46:39,925 --> 00:46:44,096
Eat it, just eat it.
685
00:46:44,179 --> 00:46:46,390
I don't understand!
686
00:46:46,473 --> 00:46:49,685
Don't you make me repeat it.
687
00:46:52,479 --> 00:46:54,773
What's happening to me?!
688
00:46:54,857 --> 00:46:58,402
Now you must die in order to be reborn.
689
00:46:58,485 --> 00:47:01,697
No, no! No!
690
00:47:34,938 --> 00:47:36,064
Put it in.
691
00:47:53,332 --> 00:47:54,708
I've heard enough.
692
00:47:57,377 --> 00:47:59,713
It's brilliant.
693
00:47:59,797 --> 00:48:02,424
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't recognize the tune.
694
00:48:02,508 --> 00:48:04,510
What song are you parodying here?
695
00:48:04,593 --> 00:48:06,512
I'm not parodying anything.
696
00:48:06,595 --> 00:48:08,639
This song is completely original.
697
00:48:08,722 --> 00:48:11,767
Wait, you wrote the words
and the music?
698
00:48:11,850 --> 00:48:12,893
That's right.
699
00:48:12,976 --> 00:48:16,021
Okay, just to be perfectly clear,
700
00:48:16,105 --> 00:48:20,150
so you're saying this is not a parody
of an existing song,
701
00:48:20,234 --> 00:48:25,072
but an entirely original composition
that you wrote all by yourself?
702
00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:26,490
Yes.
703
00:48:26,573 --> 00:48:29,243
Not based on anybody else's song
in any way?
704
00:48:29,326 --> 00:48:30,786
Did I stutter?
705
00:48:33,831 --> 00:48:37,292
I'm tired of people thinking
I'm some kind of joke, okay?
706
00:48:37,376 --> 00:48:43,424
I am done writing parody songs. Done.
707
00:48:43,507 --> 00:48:49,513
From now on, I am only gonna do
completely original music.
708
00:48:50,305 --> 00:48:52,683
Oh, Al, you can't smoke in here.
709
00:49:02,484 --> 00:49:04,945
I totally deserved that.
710
00:49:05,028 --> 00:49:09,700
Well, I am blown away.
This is a bold new direction.
711
00:49:09,783 --> 00:49:12,578
I mean, the parody songs were fine,
712
00:49:12,661 --> 00:49:17,833
but you've completely
changed the game here.
713
00:49:17,916 --> 00:49:20,127
This is gonna be your biggest hit yet.
714
00:49:22,504 --> 00:49:26,884
Okay, okay! Hold your horses!
715
00:49:38,604 --> 00:49:40,314
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
716
00:49:40,397 --> 00:49:43,567
Um, do I know you?
717
00:49:43,650 --> 00:49:47,321
Madonna. Ring any bells?
718
00:49:47,404 --> 00:49:50,991
Oh, right. Madonna.
719
00:49:51,074 --> 00:49:55,204
Yeah, "Lucky Star,"
"Holiday," "Borderline."
720
00:49:55,287 --> 00:49:56,955
Born in Michigan, Catholic schoolgirl,
721
00:49:57,039 --> 00:49:58,874
dropped outta college
and moved to New York City
722
00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:00,709
with nothing but the clothes
on your back
723
00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:02,086
and $35 in your pocket.
724
00:50:02,169 --> 00:50:04,588
Maybe it was to become
the Queen of Pop.
725
00:50:04,671 --> 00:50:07,549
Maybe it was to get back at Dad
for marrying the housekeeper.
726
00:50:08,884 --> 00:50:10,344
Wow.
727
00:50:10,427 --> 00:50:12,721
You know a lot more about me
than you let on.
728
00:50:12,805 --> 00:50:16,975
What can I say?
I'm full of surprises.
729
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,524
So, what brings you here, Madonna?
730
00:50:23,607 --> 00:50:25,609
Oh, I was in the neighborhood.
731
00:50:25,692 --> 00:50:31,156
Wanted to see if my map to
the stars' homes was accurate.
732
00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:34,034
Guess you won't need a refund then.
733
00:50:34,118 --> 00:50:38,038
Is that, uh, all you wanted?
734
00:50:38,122 --> 00:50:43,252
No, I want a lot of things,
735
00:50:43,335 --> 00:50:45,754
but the truth is,
I'm a big fan of yours.
736
00:50:45,838 --> 00:50:48,465
Join the club.
737
00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:52,719
Have you heard my new
single, "Like a Virgin?"
738
00:50:52,803 --> 00:50:54,221
Oh, I've heard it.
739
00:50:54,304 --> 00:50:59,685
And I'm curious,
is that song autobiographical?
740
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:03,105
Yes. I technically am a virgin,
741
00:51:03,188 --> 00:51:06,400
except for the fact
that I've had a lot of sex.
742
00:51:06,483 --> 00:51:08,902
I mean, a lot.
743
00:51:10,612 --> 00:51:12,573
I see.
744
00:51:12,656 --> 00:51:15,701
Anyway, I was wondering
745
00:51:15,784 --> 00:51:17,870
if you were going to
do a parody of my song.
746
00:51:19,538 --> 00:51:20,956
Maybe.
747
00:51:21,039 --> 00:51:23,625
I like that.
748
00:51:23,709 --> 00:51:27,963
So, would you like to see
the rest of the house?
749
00:51:28,046 --> 00:51:30,340
There's only one room
I'm interested in seeing.
750
00:51:30,424 --> 00:51:32,384
Oh, I'm doing some
work on the bathroom,
751
00:51:32,468 --> 00:51:34,636
but there's another one downstairs.
752
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,847
Oh, I'm not talking about the bathroom.
753
00:51:36,930 --> 00:51:40,225
Then let me show you
to the laundry room.
754
00:51:41,977 --> 00:51:46,064
Al Yankovic,
are you playing with me?
755
00:51:47,858 --> 00:51:49,359
Yes?
756
00:52:12,508 --> 00:52:15,427
Oh, you're so weird.
757
00:52:32,945 --> 00:52:36,281
So, are we like, boyfriend
and girlfriend now?
758
00:52:38,075 --> 00:52:41,495
Maybe.
759
00:52:41,578 --> 00:52:45,165
Well, now that things are official,
760
00:52:45,249 --> 00:52:48,502
I should really be honest with you.
761
00:52:48,585 --> 00:52:53,298
When I said I might parody
one of your songs, I lied.
762
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:02,307
So, it's true, what they're saying.
You're not doing parodies anymore.
763
00:53:02,850 --> 00:53:06,854
My song "Eat It," which, as you know,
is a hundred percent original,
764
00:53:06,937 --> 00:53:10,399
is the biggest hit by anybody ever.
765
00:53:10,482 --> 00:53:12,943
So, I've decided that's all
I wanna do from now on.
766
00:53:13,026 --> 00:53:15,404
Completely original songs.
767
00:53:19,450 --> 00:53:22,494
See, that's what I love about you.
768
00:53:22,578 --> 00:53:25,664
You know what you want and
you know how to get it.
769
00:53:27,833 --> 00:53:29,042
Just like me.
770
00:53:59,490 --> 00:54:04,119
How about that?
And I've got some amazing news.
771
00:54:04,203 --> 00:54:06,997
I've officially gotten the word
that we have broken
772
00:54:07,081 --> 00:54:11,210
the Beatles' record for most singles
in the Billboard Top 10.
773
00:54:12,252 --> 00:54:13,420
Oh.
774
00:54:17,216 --> 00:54:18,801
Yeah, cool.
775
00:54:18,884 --> 00:54:20,511
Uh, okay.
776
00:54:20,594 --> 00:54:25,224
Well, um, we have some very
exciting offers pouring in
777
00:54:25,307 --> 00:54:27,768
that I would love to--
778
00:54:27,851 --> 00:54:29,853
-That--
-Oh, that feels good.
779
00:54:29,937 --> 00:54:31,480
love to discuss with--
780
00:54:31,563 --> 00:54:32,815
Love to discuss with you.
781
00:54:32,898 --> 00:54:34,650
We got some, some great calls.
782
00:54:34,733 --> 00:54:36,777
-Uh, very interesting.
783
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:40,531
Led Zeppelin, uh, is thinking about
getting back together,
784
00:54:40,614 --> 00:54:42,616
but they say the only
way they'll do it
785
00:54:42,699 --> 00:54:44,660
is if they can open
up for you on tour.
786
00:54:44,743 --> 00:54:46,620
I mean, that's sweet, but yeah.
787
00:54:46,703 --> 00:54:49,415
I already offered the gig
to Howie Mandel, so.
788
00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:54,294
Okay, yeah. But this is perhaps--
789
00:54:54,378 --> 00:54:59,383
Look, I am not bumping
Mandel for Zeppelin, okay? Pass.
790
00:54:59,466 --> 00:55:01,969
Okay. Got it.
791
00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:07,182
Uh, well, we have another offer,
a very serious offer.
792
00:55:07,266 --> 00:55:11,228
This is to replace Roger Moore
in the James Bond franchise.
793
00:55:11,311 --> 00:55:12,729
-Now this one--
-No!
794
00:55:12,813 --> 00:55:14,648
No, no, no, I'm not gonna
be the new James Bond.
795
00:55:14,731 --> 00:55:16,650
I'm not gonna be
the new Indiana Jones.
796
00:55:16,733 --> 00:55:20,487
From now on, everything I do
has to be completely original.
797
00:55:20,571 --> 00:55:22,614
How many times have
I gotta say that?
798
00:55:22,698 --> 00:55:26,493
Look, Mr. Pimento,
we have places to be.
799
00:55:26,577 --> 00:55:28,704
How long is this gonna take?
800
00:55:28,787 --> 00:55:31,290
Not much longer.
801
00:55:31,373 --> 00:55:32,916
We got another offer
for you to play
802
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,294
Pablo Escobar's 40th birthday party.
803
00:55:35,377 --> 00:55:37,337
I saw him on the news.
He's a really big deal.
804
00:55:37,421 --> 00:55:40,090
The drug lord?
Why is he so obsessed with me?
805
00:55:40,174 --> 00:55:45,053
And he has upped his offer
to three billion pesos.
806
00:55:45,137 --> 00:55:47,097
I mean, okay, how much is
that in American money?
807
00:55:47,181 --> 00:55:49,808
You know what, never mind,
I don't feel like doing the math.
808
00:55:49,892 --> 00:55:51,769
Well, I've done the math
and I can assure you--
809
00:55:51,852 --> 00:55:57,483
Bup-bup-bup! I can do my own math,
and I said, I don't want to. Pass.
810
00:55:57,566 --> 00:56:00,611
Alfy, are you chewing my gum?
811
00:56:00,694 --> 00:56:03,030
I don't know. Maybe.
812
00:56:03,113 --> 00:56:05,240
You wanna come get it?
813
00:56:17,127 --> 00:56:19,004
You, you don't think
things are moving
814
00:56:19,088 --> 00:56:20,464
too fast with us, do you?
815
00:56:20,547 --> 00:56:24,551
Baby, don't be silly.
We're soulmates.
816
00:56:24,635 --> 00:56:28,097
This is true love.
When you know, you know.
817
00:56:28,180 --> 00:56:29,723
You're so right.
818
00:56:29,807 --> 00:56:34,144
This has been the happiest
six hours of my life.
819
00:56:34,228 --> 00:56:37,606
Mr. Yankovic, you have a phone call
at the host stand.
820
00:56:38,774 --> 00:56:40,317
Excuse me, my love.
821
00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:49,451
This better be good.
822
00:56:51,036 --> 00:56:52,246
Well...
823
00:56:53,747 --> 00:56:55,582
What's going on, Tony?
824
00:56:55,666 --> 00:57:00,129
Okay, um, I-I thought you should
hear it from me first.
825
00:57:00,212 --> 00:57:04,883
Michael Jackson just released
a new single called "Beat It."
826
00:57:04,967 --> 00:57:06,969
It's, um...
827
00:57:07,052 --> 00:57:09,763
Well, it's-it's a parody of "Eat It."
828
00:57:09,847 --> 00:57:12,433
You mean the kid from the Jackson Five?
829
00:57:12,516 --> 00:57:14,977
Why is that has-been trying
to ride my coattails?
830
00:57:15,060 --> 00:57:17,563
He actually has
a pretty successful solo career now.
831
00:57:17,646 --> 00:57:18,981
Whatever! You're telling me
832
00:57:19,064 --> 00:57:21,275
Michael Jackson recorded
a parody of my song?
833
00:57:21,358 --> 00:57:24,445
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Same music, different words.
834
00:57:24,528 --> 00:57:26,238
What kinda sick freak
changes the words
835
00:57:26,321 --> 00:57:28,115
to someone else's song?
836
00:57:29,199 --> 00:57:30,993
"Beat It," huh?
837
00:57:31,076 --> 00:57:32,911
Wait, so it's about eggs?
838
00:57:32,995 --> 00:57:34,496
No, no, it's, uh, I don't
think it's even about food.
839
00:57:34,580 --> 00:57:36,707
It's about fighting or....
840
00:57:36,790 --> 00:57:38,751
trying to avoid a fight?
I'm not exactly sure--
841
00:57:38,834 --> 00:57:42,880
What gives him the right?!
Can he even do this?
842
00:57:42,963 --> 00:57:45,132
I think you're overreacting
just a little, okay?
843
00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:48,635
I mean, this could be great publicity.
Sell a few more albums.
844
00:57:48,719 --> 00:57:51,972
No, I don't need to
sell more albums, Tony!
845
00:57:52,055 --> 00:57:56,310
I need people to start taking me seriously
as an artist that creates original music.
846
00:57:56,393 --> 00:57:58,187
Now some idiots
will probably get confused
847
00:57:58,270 --> 00:58:00,856
and think "Beat It" came first!
848
00:58:00,939 --> 00:58:02,524
Nobody's gonna think that.
849
00:58:02,608 --> 00:58:04,902
This is a disaster,
for the rest of my life now,
850
00:58:04,985 --> 00:58:06,987
I'm gonna be linked to
this Michael Jackson guy.
851
00:58:07,070 --> 00:58:08,781
And why would that be so bad?
852
00:58:08,864 --> 00:58:11,074
You know, maybe it's a good thing.
I-I think it's an honor.
853
00:58:11,158 --> 00:58:12,576
Michael's one of the biggest stars
in the world.
854
00:58:20,918 --> 00:58:22,544
Everything okay?
855
00:58:22,628 --> 00:58:25,214
Everything's pretty freaking not okay.
856
00:58:25,297 --> 00:58:27,049
I finally created something of my own
857
00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:30,427
and now people are just gonna think
I'm ripping off Michael Jackson.
858
00:58:30,511 --> 00:58:32,429
Your filet?
859
00:58:35,015 --> 00:58:37,226
I think I lost my appetite.
860
00:58:37,309 --> 00:58:40,354
Babe, you seem stressed.
You should have a drink.
861
00:58:40,437 --> 00:58:42,481
I don't really drink.
862
00:58:42,564 --> 00:58:44,608
If there's one thing I've learned in life,
the only thing that can clear your head
863
00:58:44,691 --> 00:58:48,654
and make you feel better is
hard alcohol, and lots of it.
864
00:58:48,737 --> 00:58:53,158
Well, you know me better than anyone.
865
00:58:54,785 --> 00:58:55,786
I trust you.
866
00:58:57,329 --> 00:58:58,747
He'll have a whiskey, neat.
867
00:59:03,335 --> 00:59:06,213
You know what? Maybe you should bring
the whole bottle.
868
00:59:16,098 --> 00:59:18,642
-I know, right?
869
00:59:18,725 --> 00:59:23,480
Hey, hey. The king is here!
Let's get this party started.
870
00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:26,859
Dude, soundcheck was supposed to start
like three hours ago.
871
00:59:26,942 --> 00:59:31,530
Well, I wasn't here three hours ago,
so we're starting now.
872
00:59:31,613 --> 00:59:33,323
Al, are you drunk?
873
00:59:33,407 --> 00:59:36,410
-I'm not drunk, you're all drunk.
-No, this is pointless.
874
00:59:36,493 --> 00:59:38,912
Hey, man, why don't you
just get out of here?
875
00:59:38,996 --> 00:59:41,290
I need to get out of here?
You need to get out of here!
876
00:59:41,373 --> 00:59:42,916
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Guys, guys!
877
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,544
Al, look, it's the first show
of the tour tonight.
878
00:59:45,627 --> 00:59:47,296
It's kind of a big deal.
879
00:59:47,379 --> 00:59:48,881
Do you think you could maybe
not screw this up for everybody?
880
00:59:48,964 --> 00:59:52,009
Oh, what-what-what are you gonna do,
fire me?
881
00:59:52,092 --> 00:59:55,387
You guys are nothing without me.
882
00:59:55,471 --> 00:59:58,348
Yeah, I could replace
you with a drum machine
883
00:59:58,432 --> 01:00:02,186
and you with a guitar machine
884
01:00:02,269 --> 01:00:06,732
and you with a, I don't know,
with some other machine.
885
01:00:06,815 --> 01:00:09,193
You're all just a bunch of normals, okay,
886
01:00:09,276 --> 01:00:13,030
I'm the weird one!
I am the weird one!
887
01:00:18,952 --> 01:00:21,955
Okay. That's it.
888
01:00:29,713 --> 01:00:31,256
You've changed, man.
889
01:00:32,841 --> 01:00:35,803
-Fame's really gotten to you.
890
01:00:35,886 --> 01:00:37,471
Wow.
891
01:00:40,808 --> 01:00:44,061
Look, just get yourself cleaned up
for the show tonight, all right?
892
01:00:47,773 --> 01:00:49,399
-You're a mess.
-Yeah.
893
01:00:55,364 --> 01:00:57,116
They seem nice.
894
01:00:57,199 --> 01:00:58,200
Yeah, they're great.
895
01:01:00,452 --> 01:01:03,497
-Al?
-Oh, what do you want?
896
01:01:03,580 --> 01:01:05,332
Can I talk to you for a minute?
897
01:01:08,085 --> 01:01:09,962
Privately?
898
01:01:10,045 --> 01:01:12,965
Look, anything you wanna say to me,
you can say in front of my girlfriend.
899
01:01:14,591 --> 01:01:17,511
Okay, fine.
900
01:01:17,594 --> 01:01:20,222
-I think Madonna's a bad influence on you.
901
01:01:20,305 --> 01:01:22,349
I think she's an evil, conniving succubus
902
01:01:22,433 --> 01:01:25,269
and she's only using you
for her pathetic and selfish needs.
903
01:01:25,352 --> 01:01:27,020
-What?
-No offense.
904
01:01:27,104 --> 01:01:31,108
She only wants you for that
sweet, sweet Yankovic Bump.
905
01:01:31,191 --> 01:01:32,484
She knows her record sales
906
01:01:32,568 --> 01:01:34,903
will go through the roof
if you parody her.
907
01:01:34,987 --> 01:01:36,697
How dare you.
908
01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:41,452
This woman is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
909
01:01:41,535 --> 01:01:45,247
And besides, I already told her
I'm not doing any more, um...
910
01:01:45,330 --> 01:01:48,083
Any more...
The thing you said.
911
01:01:48,167 --> 01:01:49,835
-Song parodies.
-Song parodies!
912
01:01:49,918 --> 01:01:51,503
You're so drunk right now,
913
01:01:51,587 --> 01:01:53,714
I bet you couldn't even
give her that Yankovic Bump.
914
01:01:53,797 --> 01:01:55,507
That's not true!
915
01:01:55,591 --> 01:01:57,676
That's not true, I'll come up with
that song parody right now.
916
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,054
Instead of "Like a Virgin,"
it'll be "Like a..."
917
01:02:01,138 --> 01:02:02,306
Like a...
918
01:02:04,349 --> 01:02:05,893
Like a...
919
01:02:05,976 --> 01:02:07,853
Shut up, it's impossible!
Nothing rhymes with virgin.
920
01:02:07,936 --> 01:02:09,354
Al, listen.
921
01:02:10,314 --> 01:02:11,774
You gotta take care of yourself.
922
01:02:11,857 --> 01:02:13,817
When she's done with you,
she's gonna drop you
923
01:02:13,901 --> 01:02:15,569
like a sack of spoiled cabbage.
924
01:02:15,652 --> 01:02:18,155
No, no, shut up, shut up!
You're not my dad.
925
01:02:18,238 --> 01:02:21,450
You think you're my dad,
but you are not my dad.
926
01:02:24,912 --> 01:02:27,206
Baby? Baby, where are you going?
927
01:02:27,289 --> 01:02:29,500
I'm goin' for a drive to clear my mind,
on my own.
928
01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:33,170
No, no, no, no, no. You cannot go.
929
01:02:35,422 --> 01:02:37,049
Without your car keys.
930
01:02:37,132 --> 01:02:40,427
Thank you so much.
931
01:02:55,359 --> 01:02:57,236
Well, we can't wait.
932
01:02:57,319 --> 01:02:59,488
Weird Al hits the stage
at Joe Robbie Stadium
933
01:02:59,571 --> 01:03:03,242
tonight at eight o'clock,
and it's gonna be off the chain.
934
01:03:03,325 --> 01:03:04,618
One for the history--
935
01:03:16,380 --> 01:03:18,799
Well, that was
multi-platinum recording artist
936
01:03:18,882 --> 01:03:21,427
"Weird Al" Yankovic with
"I Love Rocky Road," and my god,
937
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:24,346
have you ever seen
a more durable pop artist?
938
01:03:24,430 --> 01:03:25,764
Anything you throw at this guy,
939
01:03:25,848 --> 01:03:28,267
he just seems capable of surviving it.
940
01:03:28,350 --> 01:03:31,061
I'll bet he could land a plane
into a volcano
941
01:03:31,145 --> 01:03:33,730
-and still come out--
942
01:03:50,581 --> 01:03:51,957
Dammit.
943
01:03:54,168 --> 01:03:56,336
All right, nurse, let's call it.
944
01:03:58,213 --> 01:04:00,257
Time of death: 7:30--
945
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:06,096
Quick!
946
01:04:06,180 --> 01:04:08,265
I need some paper and
a number two pencil.
947
01:04:08,348 --> 01:04:09,975
Here you go, baby.
948
01:04:10,058 --> 01:04:12,019
Excuse me, miss, he's
in no condition to be doing--
949
01:04:12,102 --> 01:04:15,731
Look, there's no time, okay?
He's got a show in 30 minutes.
950
01:04:15,814 --> 01:04:18,400
-All right.
951
01:04:18,484 --> 01:04:20,569
Better give me all your gauze, nurse.
952
01:05:04,905 --> 01:05:05,948
Yes!
953
01:05:20,671 --> 01:05:25,175
This is all for you, babe.
I love you so much.
954
01:05:25,259 --> 01:05:27,678
I think I should have stuck around
for that blood transfusion though,
955
01:05:27,761 --> 01:05:30,556
-I think I'm gonna pass out.
-No, babe, you're killing it.
956
01:05:30,639 --> 01:05:32,599
-Now get back out there.
-Okay.
957
01:06:22,483 --> 01:06:26,028
Okay, babe, you have a costume change,
one more song
958
01:06:26,111 --> 01:06:27,863
and then we can go home
and sleep it off.
959
01:06:27,946 --> 01:06:29,031
Okay.
960
01:06:33,577 --> 01:06:36,663
No, no, no, no. What-what is that?
I'm not wearing that.
961
01:06:36,747 --> 01:06:39,208
-It's your "Eat It" jacket, babe.
-No, not anymore, it's not.
962
01:06:39,291 --> 01:06:41,752
That is a Michael Jackson jacket now.
I don't wanna see it.
963
01:06:41,835 --> 01:06:43,253
Get that outta my face.
964
01:06:43,337 --> 01:06:44,630
You don't have to wear it
if you don't want to.
965
01:06:44,713 --> 01:06:48,050
Now just drink up.
Yeah, that's good, yeah.
966
01:06:48,133 --> 01:06:51,512
Little more, little more.
That's the medicine.
967
01:07:25,087 --> 01:07:29,425
Boo, boo, boo, boo!
968
01:07:29,508 --> 01:07:32,594
Yeah, that's what you sound like.
Boo!
969
01:07:34,847 --> 01:07:37,558
Oh, what? You want,
do you wanna hear "Eat It?"
970
01:07:37,641 --> 01:07:39,435
-Do you?
971
01:07:39,518 --> 01:07:42,479
Okay, here goes.
972
01:07:48,026 --> 01:07:50,571
You're all a bunch of slaves!
973
01:07:50,654 --> 01:07:52,281
-You're morons.
974
01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:54,867
Idiots!
975
01:07:54,950 --> 01:07:58,203
Oh, what, what, you paid good money
to see a show?
976
01:07:58,287 --> 01:08:02,207
You worked your little butts off
at some dangerous factory?
977
01:08:02,291 --> 01:08:06,336
God only knows what they make there!
978
01:08:06,420 --> 01:08:08,297
No one will tell you that.
979
01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:16,180
What do they make in the factory?
980
01:08:16,263 --> 01:08:18,015
What do they make?!
981
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:23,937
Do you like getting pushed around?
982
01:08:24,021 --> 01:08:26,607
You like letting everybody
push you around?
983
01:08:26,690 --> 01:08:31,236
Yeah, I think you do.
I think you like it.
984
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:34,573
You like letting your dad
push you around?
985
01:08:34,656 --> 01:08:35,991
No!
986
01:08:36,075 --> 01:08:38,994
You like letting Michael Jackson
push you around?
987
01:08:39,078 --> 01:08:42,790
-No!
988
01:08:42,873 --> 01:08:46,335
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
989
01:08:46,418 --> 01:08:48,921
What are you gonna do about it?!
990
01:08:49,004 --> 01:08:52,716
-What are you gonna do?!
991
01:08:56,136 --> 01:08:59,723
So... you wanna see it?
992
01:09:03,477 --> 01:09:05,604
Do you want me to show it to you?
993
01:09:08,398 --> 01:09:10,400
I'm gonna whip it out!
994
01:09:12,986 --> 01:09:15,030
You don't think I'll do it, do you?
995
01:09:15,114 --> 01:09:18,325
I haven't whipped it out yet
but I'm gonna do it for you,
996
01:09:18,409 --> 01:09:21,703
but only if you really want me to.
997
01:09:24,415 --> 01:09:26,792
Okay, here goes!
998
01:09:28,585 --> 01:09:30,254
Yeah!
999
01:09:32,005 --> 01:09:34,967
-Get off me! Get off me!
1000
01:09:39,763 --> 01:09:41,390
We're sorry to interrupt
1001
01:09:41,473 --> 01:09:43,559
the President's address,
but we have breaking news.
1002
01:09:43,642 --> 01:09:47,771
Parody songsmith "Weird Al" Yankovic
was arrested earlier tonight
1003
01:09:47,855 --> 01:09:51,191
in Miami-Dade County
for lewd behavior.
1004
01:09:57,364 --> 01:09:59,366
Okay. Here's my thought.
1005
01:09:59,450 --> 01:10:01,702
I think this is a really great idea,
I hope you like it.
1006
01:10:01,785 --> 01:10:03,412
We team up, right?
1007
01:10:03,495 --> 01:10:05,914
I'll write all the, you know,
good songs, the real ones,
1008
01:10:05,998 --> 01:10:10,377
and then you parody them every time.
Bam, bam. It's perfect.
1009
01:10:12,254 --> 01:10:13,797
Sounds great.
1010
01:10:13,881 --> 01:10:15,632
It's foolproof, we'll be unstoppable.
1011
01:10:15,716 --> 01:10:18,469
We'll be the hottest power couple
in the entire music industry.
1012
01:10:18,552 --> 01:10:20,471
What would our power couple name be?
1013
01:10:20,554 --> 01:10:24,725
I'm thinking Madankovic
or Madonnavic
1014
01:10:24,808 --> 01:10:29,062
or maybe just Madonna.
1015
01:10:29,146 --> 01:10:31,523
There'll be plenty of time
to figure all of that out.
1016
01:10:31,607 --> 01:10:33,525
But can you imagine the world tour?
1017
01:10:33,609 --> 01:10:36,945
Madonna... with Weird Al.
1018
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:41,533
All that money?
I just got the tingles.
1019
01:10:44,453 --> 01:10:46,997
But I mean, you're okay
with all of this, right?
1020
01:10:48,082 --> 01:10:49,458
Look, babe, I'm--
1021
01:10:51,251 --> 01:10:54,755
I'm seriously okay
with anything you wanna do.
1022
01:10:56,131 --> 01:10:59,968
I mean, look at me. I'm a train wreck.
1023
01:11:00,052 --> 01:11:02,930
I'm barely holding it together.
1024
01:11:03,013 --> 01:11:05,682
My parents wrote me off.
1025
01:11:05,766 --> 01:11:09,895
I pushed away my band, Dr. Demento,
1026
01:11:09,978 --> 01:11:12,272
everyone who was important to me.
1027
01:11:14,817 --> 01:11:17,027
You're all I got.
1028
01:11:17,111 --> 01:11:20,406
You are literally the only thing
I have left in the world,
1029
01:11:20,489 --> 01:11:25,035
and if anything happened to you,
I don't know what I would do.
1030
01:11:27,162 --> 01:11:29,998
No, no! No!
1031
01:11:30,082 --> 01:11:32,459
Relax, Mr. Yankovic.
1032
01:11:32,543 --> 01:11:34,211
We only wanna borrow your girlfriend.
1033
01:11:34,294 --> 01:11:37,172
Just stay calm and
nothing will happen to you.
1034
01:11:37,256 --> 01:11:40,092
Please, sir, please.
Whatever you do--
1035
01:11:43,887 --> 01:11:45,347
Don't hurt me.
1036
01:11:47,850 --> 01:11:49,977
-Help me!
-Madonna!
1037
01:11:53,689 --> 01:11:56,191
-Hiya!
1038
01:12:39,985 --> 01:12:43,030
-Die, die!
1039
01:12:45,365 --> 01:12:47,576
-Order up.
1040
01:12:49,787 --> 01:12:52,581
Pablo Escobar sends his regards!
1041
01:12:59,713 --> 01:13:03,884
Pablo Escobar, you just made
the biggest mistake of your life.
1042
01:14:20,294 --> 01:14:22,254
This'll do.
1043
01:14:37,144 --> 01:14:39,480
So, then I'm stomping on him and
stomping him with my boots,
1044
01:14:39,563 --> 01:14:41,148
and he's calling for
his mom and I'm like,
1045
01:14:41,231 --> 01:14:43,358
"Stop being so extra."
You know, it's like--
1046
01:14:43,442 --> 01:14:47,446
Oh, my goodness! Ha ha!
That better not be vanilla.
1047
01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:48,864
Who was it?
1048
01:14:48,947 --> 01:14:51,283
-No, who was it?
-Escobar!
1049
01:14:51,366 --> 01:14:54,578
Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
1050
01:14:54,661 --> 01:14:57,790
We've been expecting you.
Welcome, welcome.
1051
01:14:57,873 --> 01:15:02,294
As you know, I am a huge,
huge fan of your music.
1052
01:15:02,377 --> 01:15:05,547
I got all of your albums
through the Columbia House Record Club.
1053
01:15:05,631 --> 01:15:09,009
Twelve for one penny, you guys.
Really great deal.
1054
01:15:09,093 --> 01:15:10,594
Really great deal.
1055
01:15:10,677 --> 01:15:14,431
Anyway, I-- Oops.
I hope you will forgive me
1056
01:15:14,515 --> 01:15:16,475
for kidnapping your lovely girlfriend.
1057
01:15:16,558 --> 01:15:19,228
It just seemed like
that was the only way
1058
01:15:19,311 --> 01:15:22,314
to guarantee that you would
come to my birthday party.
1059
01:15:22,397 --> 01:15:26,068
Your agent, oy, a real nightmare
to deal with, if I'm gonna be honest.
1060
01:15:26,151 --> 01:15:27,694
Real vicious guy.
1061
01:15:27,778 --> 01:15:29,988
You know, I'm sorry.
Let me turn down the music please.
1062
01:15:30,072 --> 01:15:31,490
Just a little annoying, yeah.
1063
01:15:37,663 --> 01:15:40,249
I can hear myself think now.
1064
01:15:40,332 --> 01:15:42,418
It's so noisy up in there.
Aah, the voices.
1065
01:15:42,501 --> 01:15:44,920
Oh. Oh, where are my manners?
1066
01:15:45,003 --> 01:15:48,257
We were just about to cut the cake.
May I offer you a slice?
1067
01:15:48,340 --> 01:15:49,716
Let's get him a slice, please.
1068
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:51,677
No. No cake.
1069
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,263
Okay, Mr. Diet.
1070
01:15:54,346 --> 01:15:55,597
More for us, am I right?
1071
01:15:55,681 --> 01:15:58,559
I just want my woman, then I'll go.
1072
01:16:00,102 --> 01:16:03,981
Ah, you want your woman. Okay.
1073
01:16:04,064 --> 01:16:08,610
I'm afraid that's
not how it works, Mr. Yankovic.
1074
01:16:08,694 --> 01:16:11,613
You see, you can't leave until you
perform for me.
1075
01:16:11,697 --> 01:16:13,657
-Do you understand me?
-No dice.
1076
01:16:13,741 --> 01:16:16,160
Not gonna happen.
I'm not your monkey.
1077
01:16:16,243 --> 01:16:20,080
-I can do "Borderline."
-No, I don't want that. I want him.
1078
01:16:20,164 --> 01:16:23,459
Mr. Yankovic, why-why all the drama?
1079
01:16:23,542 --> 01:16:25,294
I mean, you're already here.
1080
01:16:25,377 --> 01:16:29,047
Just perform one measly song for us
and then you guys can leave.
1081
01:16:29,131 --> 01:16:32,384
Come on, just one song, no?
1082
01:16:32,468 --> 01:16:35,053
How about that wonderful
1083
01:16:35,137 --> 01:16:37,639
Michael Jackson parody
that you did, huh?
1084
01:16:38,974 --> 01:16:42,144
That's not a parody!
1085
01:17:08,462 --> 01:17:12,299
Stop! Stop! It's my birthday.
Stop it! Stop it!
1086
01:17:14,843 --> 01:17:18,847
Well, first off, rude. Okay?
And second of all,
1087
01:17:18,931 --> 01:17:22,059
if you really, really don't wanna
entertain us, then fine.
1088
01:17:22,142 --> 01:17:23,602
You can just leave.
1089
01:17:25,646 --> 01:17:27,815
Wait, so, so we can just go?
1090
01:17:29,233 --> 01:17:31,944
Yeah, you can go whenever you want.
1091
01:17:32,861 --> 01:17:34,613
Psych!
1092
01:17:34,696 --> 01:17:36,407
No!
1093
01:17:41,161 --> 01:17:42,746
Very unfortunate.
1094
01:17:42,830 --> 01:17:47,000
He was like a god among men,
and now just worm food.
1095
01:17:47,084 --> 01:17:51,880
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Anyway, back to the party.
Should we cut the cake or...?
1096
01:17:51,964 --> 01:17:57,636
Hey, Pablo, you forgot one thing.
1097
01:17:59,680 --> 01:18:01,223
I'm certified platinum.
1098
01:18:04,435 --> 01:18:05,727
Hey, Escobar.
1099
01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:08,272
Eat it.
1100
01:18:16,488 --> 01:18:19,158
Okay, let's get outta here.
1101
01:18:22,453 --> 01:18:24,955
I just gotta get this medallion.
1102
01:18:25,038 --> 01:18:29,918
Okay.
Oh, it's in there. Ah.
1103
01:18:30,002 --> 01:18:33,255
Oh, gross, gross, gross,
gross, gross!
1104
01:18:37,801 --> 01:18:39,219
You just killed Pablo Escobar!
1105
01:18:39,303 --> 01:18:42,389
I know! I've killed so many people
this week.
1106
01:18:42,473 --> 01:18:46,101
Before last Thursday,
I never really killed anyone.
1107
01:18:46,185 --> 01:18:50,105
The things we do for love, huh?
Okay, come on. We gotta go.
1108
01:18:50,189 --> 01:18:54,109
Well, now, wait, wait, wait,
hear me out here.
1109
01:18:54,193 --> 01:18:57,988
With Escobar out of the picture, maybe...
1110
01:18:58,072 --> 01:18:59,782
maybe we can run the drug cartel.
1111
01:18:59,865 --> 01:19:01,366
Wait, what?
1112
01:19:01,450 --> 01:19:03,452
Supply and demand, baby.
1113
01:19:03,535 --> 01:19:08,082
Look, someone's gotta run the cartel.
May as well be me. Us.
1114
01:19:08,165 --> 01:19:10,918
You can't be serious.
What about all our plans?
1115
01:19:11,001 --> 01:19:13,337
Writing songs together, touring together.
1116
01:19:13,420 --> 01:19:16,256
Why rule the music industry
when you can rule the world?
1117
01:19:16,340 --> 01:19:19,301
All the money and power is right here.
1118
01:19:19,384 --> 01:19:21,595
Madonna, that's...
1119
01:19:21,678 --> 01:19:23,680
No. No way.
1120
01:19:23,764 --> 01:19:27,935
My life is in America, and my
family would never forgive me
1121
01:19:28,018 --> 01:19:30,104
if I became involved in a drug cartel.
1122
01:19:30,187 --> 01:19:32,898
Well, your family's
already disowned you, Al.
1123
01:19:32,981 --> 01:19:35,400
I'm all you've got, remember?
1124
01:19:36,860 --> 01:19:41,573
And we'll still be together.
I'll be the head of the cartel...
1125
01:19:41,657 --> 01:19:43,242
and you can be my number two.
1126
01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:46,286
Your number two.
1127
01:19:49,039 --> 01:19:53,168
I can't believe this.
Dr. Demento was right.
1128
01:19:53,252 --> 01:19:56,797
You were just using me to further
your own career, weren't you?
1129
01:19:59,049 --> 01:20:02,386
Well... yeah.
1130
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:05,973
My relationship with you
was a business decision...
1131
01:20:06,056 --> 01:20:11,145
and so is this.
It's all just business.
1132
01:20:14,273 --> 01:20:15,274
Wow.
1133
01:20:17,693 --> 01:20:20,612
Well, okay then.
1134
01:20:22,573 --> 01:20:25,033
I guess-- I guess that's it.
1135
01:20:30,748 --> 01:20:32,166
Have a nice life.
1136
01:20:40,758 --> 01:20:41,759
Whoa!
1137
01:20:43,635 --> 01:20:47,306
I can't let you leave, Al.
You know too much.
1138
01:20:47,389 --> 01:20:48,807
What are you talking about?
1139
01:20:50,350 --> 01:20:52,644
Stop that!
1140
01:20:52,728 --> 01:20:55,731
We could have made
such a beautiful team,
1141
01:20:55,814 --> 01:20:57,441
and you know what?
1142
01:20:57,524 --> 01:20:59,693
I decided I do like Weirdonna
better than Madonnavic.
1143
01:21:01,445 --> 01:21:03,906
But that's all over now.
1144
01:21:03,989 --> 01:21:07,284
Our partnership is officially dissolved.
1145
01:21:10,412 --> 01:21:11,830
Goodbye, Madonna.
1146
01:21:30,849 --> 01:21:34,353
Yeah. I had
a lot of soul searching to do.
1147
01:21:34,436 --> 01:21:37,940
Was I a parody singer?
An original artist?
1148
01:21:38,023 --> 01:21:40,651
The most dangerous
assassin in the world?
1149
01:21:40,734 --> 01:21:42,945
Maybe I had lost my way.
1150
01:21:43,028 --> 01:21:44,655
Don't get me wrong,
there were things
1151
01:21:44,738 --> 01:21:46,740
I loved about being Weird Al.
1152
01:21:46,824 --> 01:21:48,909
The fame, the money,
1153
01:21:48,992 --> 01:21:51,662
the fancy dinners,
joining the Illuminati,
1154
01:21:51,745 --> 01:21:54,248
going to the Illuminati
holiday party,
1155
01:21:54,331 --> 01:21:57,835
learning the truth about
the moon landing and JFK.
1156
01:21:57,918 --> 01:22:01,588
But without my family,
none of that mattered.
1157
01:22:01,672 --> 01:22:03,674
I knew what I had to do.
1158
01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,359
There it is, pretty simple.
1159
01:22:23,444 --> 01:22:27,657
When the light turns green,
you turn this crank to the left.
1160
01:22:27,740 --> 01:22:32,036
When it turns red, you stop
and pull this lever down.
1161
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:35,164
When it turns green again,
you push this lever up
1162
01:22:35,248 --> 01:22:38,876
and turn this crank back to the right.
1163
01:22:38,960 --> 01:22:42,296
Yep, that's about it. Lunch is at 12:30.
1164
01:22:44,048 --> 01:22:45,591
Hey, can I ask you a question?
1165
01:22:46,634 --> 01:22:47,885
Sure.
1166
01:22:49,470 --> 01:22:52,473
What do we make here?
1167
01:22:52,557 --> 01:22:57,061
Your old man
said you was funny.
1168
01:22:57,145 --> 01:23:00,314
That's a good one.
"What do we make here?"
1169
01:23:30,261 --> 01:23:33,389
Somebody help! My leg!
1170
01:23:33,473 --> 01:23:34,891
Oh, uh...
1171
01:23:34,974 --> 01:23:38,936
It's burning me! Oh, my leg!
1172
01:23:39,020 --> 01:23:42,231
Ahh! Ahh! It burns!
1173
01:23:44,734 --> 01:23:46,277
Hey.
1174
01:23:46,360 --> 01:23:48,529
Cleanup crew to the control room.
1175
01:23:48,613 --> 01:23:50,406
You got a minute?
1176
01:23:50,490 --> 01:23:52,825
Well, what?
1177
01:23:55,078 --> 01:23:57,288
You want to take a swing, old man?
1178
01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:01,918
No.
1179
01:24:04,295 --> 01:24:07,965
Just... what are you doing here?
1180
01:24:09,133 --> 01:24:12,178
What am I doing here? Really?!
1181
01:24:14,097 --> 01:24:16,891
All my life, all I wanted to do
is please you,
1182
01:24:16,974 --> 01:24:18,726
but I was never enough.
1183
01:24:18,810 --> 01:24:21,771
You were always disappointed
in your weird son.
1184
01:24:21,854 --> 01:24:25,274
So yeah, I gave up
the most successful career
1185
01:24:25,358 --> 01:24:28,277
in music history to come work
at this miserable factory
1186
01:24:28,361 --> 01:24:30,071
because it's what
you've always wanted
1187
01:24:30,154 --> 01:24:32,365
and what, it is still
not enough for you?
1188
01:24:32,448 --> 01:24:33,991
I appreciate what you're doing.
1189
01:24:35,451 --> 01:24:37,870
This isn't the life for you.
1190
01:24:37,954 --> 01:24:40,498
Oh, what? So I'm not even
good at turning cranks now.
1191
01:24:40,581 --> 01:24:42,041
No, Alfred, that's
not what I'm saying.
1192
01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:43,751
What are you saying, then?
1193
01:24:49,549 --> 01:24:51,467
I was wrong to stand in your way.
1194
01:24:54,512 --> 01:24:56,639
This isn't what you were meant for.
1195
01:24:58,474 --> 01:24:59,767
You're special.
1196
01:25:01,185 --> 01:25:05,189
You're Weird Al, and you're my son.
1197
01:25:08,109 --> 01:25:09,360
And I'm, uh...
1198
01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:12,113
I'm proud of you.
1199
01:25:19,704 --> 01:25:21,122
What are you doing?
1200
01:25:26,586 --> 01:25:27,587
Dad!
1201
01:25:42,018 --> 01:25:44,771
-Yeah, that's an absolute classic.
1202
01:25:44,854 --> 01:25:47,648
Whew.
1203
01:25:47,732 --> 01:25:50,193
Well, so Mom tells me you're
dating that singer Madonna.
1204
01:25:50,276 --> 01:25:53,821
Oh, um, no, we-we broke up.
1205
01:25:53,905 --> 01:25:56,824
Oh, I'm sorry, honey. What happened?
1206
01:25:56,908 --> 01:25:59,285
Yeah. It's-it's complicated.
1207
01:25:59,369 --> 01:26:02,205
Well, don't worry.
There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
1208
01:26:02,288 --> 01:26:05,958
So, so, what is it like?
What's it like being you?
1209
01:26:06,042 --> 01:26:09,504
You know, world famous superstar and all?
1210
01:26:09,587 --> 01:26:15,635
Well, um, it's-it's fun,
but it's also a lot of pressure.
1211
01:26:16,803 --> 01:26:20,181
The hardest part for me
is just coming up with new songs.
1212
01:26:20,264 --> 01:26:23,726
I-I never know where my
next idea's gonna come from.
1213
01:26:23,810 --> 01:26:26,979
And yeah, I-I honestly, I don't know
if I have it in me anymore.
1214
01:26:27,063 --> 01:26:30,108
Oh, nonsense.
I'm sure that next big idea
1215
01:26:30,191 --> 01:26:32,360
is just right there in front of you.
1216
01:26:36,280 --> 01:26:38,908
Well, you may have noticed
I've put on a little weight.
1217
01:26:38,991 --> 01:26:40,660
Don't be silly, Ma. You look great.
1218
01:26:40,743 --> 01:26:43,538
You do, dear. I think you look wonderful
with a few extra pounds.
1219
01:26:43,621 --> 01:26:45,164
I think you're pleasingly plump.
1220
01:26:45,248 --> 01:26:48,251
Oh, Nick. You know I'm fat.
1221
01:26:48,334 --> 01:26:50,211
I'm fat, you know it.
1222
01:26:54,799 --> 01:26:56,134
What?
1223
01:26:56,217 --> 01:26:57,176
Wow.
1224
01:26:57,260 --> 01:26:59,345
Dad, can I ask you something?
1225
01:27:01,431 --> 01:27:05,184
Mom told me growing up,
you always had your reasons
1226
01:27:05,268 --> 01:27:07,103
for being so hard on me.
1227
01:27:11,023 --> 01:27:12,775
I think it's time, dear.
1228
01:27:15,987 --> 01:27:17,321
All right.
1229
01:27:31,002 --> 01:27:33,796
Oh, whoa.
1230
01:27:35,423 --> 01:27:39,677
I wrote it all down.
This should explain everything.
1231
01:27:39,761 --> 01:27:43,222
Okay, do you have maybe
a-a photo album
1232
01:27:43,306 --> 01:27:45,516
or we can just go through
the bullet points together?
1233
01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:48,644
I don't have a photo album,
but I have a sketchbook.
1234
01:27:48,728 --> 01:27:50,188
A sketchbook?
1235
01:27:52,607 --> 01:27:56,194
You see, we didn't have any cameras
1236
01:27:56,277 --> 01:27:59,697
when I was growing up because...
1237
01:28:02,533 --> 01:28:04,035
I was raised Amish.
1238
01:28:05,745 --> 01:28:07,330
What, really?
1239
01:28:07,413 --> 01:28:10,583
Yep. I grew up Amish.
1240
01:28:11,459 --> 01:28:14,212
Lived in the community for
the first 16 years of my life.
1241
01:28:14,295 --> 01:28:17,590
And frankly, I don't think I
ever really fit in
1242
01:28:17,673 --> 01:28:20,218
because, well, if I'm being honest,
1243
01:28:20,301 --> 01:28:24,347
I was just as weird as you
when I was a kid.
1244
01:28:25,306 --> 01:28:27,308
Yeah, I even made up new words
to the hymns
1245
01:28:27,392 --> 01:28:29,394
that we sang during church service.
1246
01:28:29,477 --> 01:28:31,813
-That didn't go over too well.
1247
01:28:33,815 --> 01:28:36,484
That boy will never learn.
1248
01:28:36,567 --> 01:28:38,277
And then when I was
a few years older,
1249
01:28:38,361 --> 01:28:40,363
I was able to go on rumspringa.
1250
01:28:40,446 --> 01:28:43,157
I finally had a chance to go out
into the great big world
1251
01:28:43,241 --> 01:28:46,953
and see what it had to offer.
1252
01:28:47,036 --> 01:28:49,622
And that's when I saw
the love of my life,
1253
01:28:49,706 --> 01:28:52,875
a 1933 Excelsior,
1254
01:28:52,959 --> 01:28:56,754
the finest accordion there ever was.
1255
01:28:56,838 --> 01:29:01,259
Cost me every penny I had
in the world, but it was worth it.
1256
01:29:01,342 --> 01:29:03,720
So wait-wait-wait,
you had an accordion?
1257
01:29:03,803 --> 01:29:07,265
I did, I did, I did,
I was pretty good at it too.
1258
01:29:07,348 --> 01:29:09,851
I was not bad. I was not bad at all.
1259
01:29:09,934 --> 01:29:11,602
I thought I was the love of your life.
1260
01:29:11,686 --> 01:29:13,646
Oh, honey, you come later, please.
Anyway...
1261
01:29:13,730 --> 01:29:15,440
So, I tried for months to make it
1262
01:29:15,523 --> 01:29:17,358
as a professional musician,
1263
01:29:17,442 --> 01:29:18,985
but it just wasn't in God's plan.
1264
01:29:19,068 --> 01:29:20,528
Get outta here!
1265
01:29:20,611 --> 01:29:23,281
Failure mocked me
at every waking moment.
1266
01:29:23,364 --> 01:29:25,116
Hey, there, squeeze box.
1267
01:29:25,199 --> 01:29:27,618
I knew that I had to
give up my dream
1268
01:29:27,702 --> 01:29:30,788
and go back to the only life
that I'd ever known.
1269
01:29:30,872 --> 01:29:33,416
But when I tried to come back
to the Amish community,
1270
01:29:33,499 --> 01:29:36,085
well, the second they
saw that squeeze box,
1271
01:29:36,169 --> 01:29:41,007
I was immediately ex-communicated,
banished forever.
1272
01:29:41,090 --> 01:29:43,301
My whole world
was torn away from me.
1273
01:29:43,384 --> 01:29:45,470
All I knew was
I never wanted to see
1274
01:29:45,553 --> 01:29:49,307
another accordion again,
for as long as I lived.
1275
01:29:49,390 --> 01:29:51,768
So I got a job at the factory,
1276
01:29:51,851 --> 01:29:55,313
a place where I knew you could
get an honest day's wages
1277
01:29:55,396 --> 01:29:57,523
for an honest day's work.
1278
01:29:57,607 --> 01:29:59,233
And that's when I met...
1279
01:30:00,443 --> 01:30:02,070
the true love of my life.
1280
01:30:03,488 --> 01:30:05,073
Your mother.
1281
01:30:05,156 --> 01:30:06,783
Wow.
1282
01:30:06,866 --> 01:30:09,494
Dad, I-- I never knew.
1283
01:30:11,788 --> 01:30:14,415
Of course you didn't.
How could you, I just told you.
1284
01:30:14,499 --> 01:30:16,751
I just, the whole story was about--
1285
01:30:17,710 --> 01:30:19,504
Anyway, look,
1286
01:30:20,713 --> 01:30:23,841
son, I hope that you can forgive me
and I hope you understand.
1287
01:30:25,927 --> 01:30:28,471
I lost everything
and I didn't want you
1288
01:30:28,554 --> 01:30:30,807
to suffer the same sad fate.
1289
01:30:33,309 --> 01:30:35,436
I didn't want you
to get your dreams crushed,
1290
01:30:35,520 --> 01:30:38,940
so I thought I should
crush your ideas
1291
01:30:39,023 --> 01:30:40,942
before they could turn into dreams.
1292
01:30:44,237 --> 01:30:47,198
Yeah, that makes sense.
1293
01:30:49,117 --> 01:30:50,159
Oh.
1294
01:30:51,494 --> 01:30:54,664
Oh, that's nothing. You can just
throw that thing out, that's--
1295
01:30:54,747 --> 01:30:57,208
-"Amish Paradise?"
-Nope, just tear that up in little pieces
1296
01:30:57,291 --> 01:30:59,377
-and get rid of that.
-Dad.
1297
01:30:59,460 --> 01:31:00,962
Are these song lyrics?
1298
01:31:01,045 --> 01:31:02,672
That's just something stupid
I wrote a while ago.
1299
01:31:02,755 --> 01:31:04,215
It doesn't matter. You can just--
1300
01:31:04,298 --> 01:31:06,634
No, no, no, Dad, these lyrics...
1301
01:31:08,219 --> 01:31:10,471
they're like a window into your soul.
1302
01:31:11,639 --> 01:31:13,349
I don't think I've ever felt
more connected to you than this
1303
01:31:13,433 --> 01:31:15,059
in my entire life.
1304
01:31:18,396 --> 01:31:20,565
Well, I never had the chance
to perform it myself
1305
01:31:20,648 --> 01:31:23,234
because the dream had already died.
1306
01:31:23,317 --> 01:31:27,071
I thought maybe someday,
but no, never mind.
1307
01:31:27,155 --> 01:31:31,200
Never mind. I guess no one
will ever hear this song.
1308
01:31:34,912 --> 01:31:38,374
That's it! That's it!
1309
01:31:38,458 --> 01:31:40,043
Mom!
1310
01:31:40,126 --> 01:31:41,794
What did you say like
a minute ago, about being fat?
1311
01:31:41,878 --> 01:31:43,463
We're onto something else now.
1312
01:31:43,546 --> 01:31:45,757
We were kind of having
a moment here, son.
1313
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:47,425
Read the room.
1314
01:31:47,508 --> 01:31:50,261
Yeah, I mean, I wrote the book
and did the whole thing.
1315
01:31:50,344 --> 01:31:51,429
-Alfy!
-The drawing.
1316
01:31:51,512 --> 01:31:52,889
Listen to your father when he's talking!
1317
01:31:52,972 --> 01:31:54,807
Does anything register with you?
1318
01:31:54,891 --> 01:31:58,061
Can you see my lips moving?
Nothing gets through to you.
1319
01:32:54,450 --> 01:32:56,369
Man, I shoulda kept
the publishing rights.
1320
01:33:12,260 --> 01:33:13,261
Yecch!
1321
01:33:26,607 --> 01:33:28,985
It is so good to
have you back, man.
1322
01:33:29,068 --> 01:33:30,945
Yeah, I was starting
to miss the weird one.
1323
01:33:31,029 --> 01:33:33,531
Oh god, I cannot believe
I ever said that to you guys.
1324
01:33:33,614 --> 01:33:35,199
I am so, so sorry.
1325
01:33:35,283 --> 01:33:36,826
Hey, you're an artist.
1326
01:33:36,909 --> 01:33:39,078
Being an abusive jerk
is all part of the process.
1327
01:33:39,162 --> 01:33:40,872
Yeah, name me one creative genius
1328
01:33:40,955 --> 01:33:42,665
that doesn't have a checkered past
1329
01:33:42,749 --> 01:33:45,334
involving drugs, alcohol
and a murderous rampage
1330
01:33:45,418 --> 01:33:47,045
through the heart of the jungle.
1331
01:33:47,128 --> 01:33:49,547
Yeah, I guess you're right.
1332
01:33:49,630 --> 01:33:51,257
I love you guys so much!
1333
01:33:52,967 --> 01:33:54,761
Yeah, yeah. See you out there.
1334
01:33:57,930 --> 01:34:00,058
Dr. D, you came!
1335
01:34:00,141 --> 01:34:02,602
Of course I came. I wouldn't
have missed it for the world.
1336
01:34:02,685 --> 01:34:04,979
And well, needless to say,
you were amazing.
1337
01:34:05,063 --> 01:34:10,026
Thank you. And I-I also,
I really wanna say the way I treated you--
1338
01:34:10,109 --> 01:34:12,153
Stop. I'm gonna stop you
right there, okay?
1339
01:34:12,236 --> 01:34:13,738
No apologies necessary.
1340
01:34:13,821 --> 01:34:16,282
I have been thinking
a lot about what you said,
1341
01:34:16,366 --> 01:34:18,951
and I realized, Al, that...
1342
01:34:21,788 --> 01:34:25,458
you are like a son to me and, uh...
1343
01:34:25,541 --> 01:34:28,711
Well, I never really had any children
of my own, so, uh...
1344
01:34:35,176 --> 01:34:36,511
I want to adopt you.
1345
01:34:41,682 --> 01:34:43,142
Will you be my son?
1346
01:34:44,852 --> 01:34:46,729
Wow.
1347
01:34:46,813 --> 01:34:51,651
Um, you-- I-- I just made up with my dad.
1348
01:34:53,778 --> 01:34:54,904
You d-- You did?
1349
01:34:54,987 --> 01:34:56,656
-Yeah.
-That's, wow. Okay.
1350
01:34:56,739 --> 01:34:58,032
Yeah. So yeah, we-we talked.
1351
01:34:58,116 --> 01:35:00,326
-Wow.
-We're-we're all good now.
1352
01:35:00,410 --> 01:35:01,619
Cool, the coolest. that's great.
1353
01:35:01,703 --> 01:35:03,496
-That's great.
-It is great.
1354
01:35:03,579 --> 01:35:05,081
Oh, good!
1355
01:35:05,164 --> 01:35:06,082
-Yeah.
-Cool.
1356
01:35:06,165 --> 01:35:07,667
Wow, that's so cool.
1357
01:35:07,750 --> 01:35:09,711
That's really cool. That's so cool.
1358
01:35:09,794 --> 01:35:12,046
My, my category
is coming up really soon,
1359
01:35:12,130 --> 01:35:13,840
I think, so I should probably go change?
1360
01:35:13,923 --> 01:35:14,841
You should--
oh, you should go. Yeah, definitely.
1361
01:35:14,924 --> 01:35:16,968
It's so good to see you.
1362
01:35:17,051 --> 01:35:18,845
-Thank you so much for coming.
-Okay.
1363
01:35:18,928 --> 01:35:21,973
-So good. Take care.
-All right.
1364
01:35:28,813 --> 01:35:32,066
Please welcome to the stage
Grammy Award winner Diana Ross,
1365
01:35:32,150 --> 01:35:35,778
and Intercontinental
WWF Champion Hulk Hogan.
1366
01:35:37,071 --> 01:35:41,367
As artists, we learn to express ourselves
through our instruments.
1367
01:35:41,451 --> 01:35:46,247
Louis Armstrong had his trumpet
and Jimi Hendrix had his guitar.
1368
01:35:46,330 --> 01:35:49,292
And well, my instrument is my voice.
1369
01:35:52,879 --> 01:35:54,297
That's right, Diana.
1370
01:35:54,380 --> 01:35:57,550
And my instruments
are these 24-inch pythons.
1371
01:35:57,633 --> 01:36:01,095
-Whoo!
1372
01:36:01,179 --> 01:36:05,016
No, no, Mary.
That's an oily man.
1373
01:36:07,518 --> 01:36:11,355
And now, the award
you've all been waiting for.
1374
01:36:11,439 --> 01:36:14,942
In the category of "Perhaps
Not Technically the Best
1375
01:36:15,026 --> 01:36:18,196
But Arguably the Most
Famous Accordion Player
1376
01:36:18,279 --> 01:36:21,991
in an Extremely
Specific Genre of Music."
1377
01:36:22,075 --> 01:36:23,993
And the award goes to...
1378
01:36:32,877 --> 01:36:34,796
"Weird Al" Yankovic!
1379
01:37:01,989 --> 01:37:04,575
Oh, thank you.
1380
01:37:04,659 --> 01:37:08,246
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, this is incredible.
1381
01:37:08,329 --> 01:37:10,331
This award means so much to me,
1382
01:37:10,415 --> 01:37:13,167
and in front of all
the billions of people watching
1383
01:37:13,251 --> 01:37:17,630
around the world right now,
all I want to say is...
1384
01:37:17,714 --> 01:37:19,966
see, Dad? I told you!
1385
01:37:20,049 --> 01:37:22,468
Yeah! In your face, old man!
1386
01:37:22,552 --> 01:37:25,930
-Huh?
1387
01:37:26,013 --> 01:37:30,435
There are so many people here tonight
that I need to thank.
1388
01:37:30,518 --> 01:37:34,021
People who mean the world to me
and who made me
1389
01:37:34,105 --> 01:37:36,149
everything that I am today.
1390
01:37:36,232 --> 01:37:39,569
But they know who they are, and I'm gonna
thank them all later privately.
1391
01:37:41,487 --> 01:37:45,033
Okay, I'm just gonna wrap things up.
I don't have much time left.
1392
01:37:45,116 --> 01:37:49,454
I-- Y'know, I'm gonna be around
for a good long time.
1393
01:37:49,537 --> 01:37:51,414
You don't have to worry about that.
1394
01:37:51,497 --> 01:37:53,916
You're not gonna get rid of me
that easy.
1395
01:37:58,046 --> 01:38:01,174
-Waiting on your signal.
- Stand by.
1396
01:38:01,257 --> 01:38:04,969
But in my remaining few seconds,
I just wanna say...
1397
01:38:07,180 --> 01:38:09,515
live the life you wanna live.
1398
01:38:09,599 --> 01:38:12,518
You know, be as weird as you wanna be.
1399
01:38:12,602 --> 01:38:15,354
Believe me, you will never
find true happiness
1400
01:38:15,438 --> 01:38:18,399
until you can truly accept who you are.
1401
01:38:19,734 --> 01:38:23,446
And standing before all of you,
right here, right now,
1402
01:38:23,529 --> 01:38:27,950
I can honestly say I have
never been more happy
1403
01:38:28,034 --> 01:38:31,454
or more proud in my entire life.
1404
01:38:33,164 --> 01:38:34,457
Thank you.
1405
01:38:49,180 --> 01:38:51,516
Thank you! Thank you!
1406
01:38:58,106 --> 01:38:59,524
Take the shot.
1407
01:39:05,905 --> 01:39:08,074
Nooo!
1408
01:45:24,409 --> 01:45:26,077
Wow, fake-out ending!
1409
01:46:17,670 --> 01:46:21,424
Awwwwww, double fake-out!