1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,716
Hi, I'm
Gilda Radner and...
2
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,176
[Chuckling]
Okay, now.
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,135
[Applauding]
4
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,012
[narrator] Gilda Radner
created some of TV's
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,639
most iconic characters.
6
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,474
This is Baba Wawa
at Large.
7
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,018
Committing to her comedy
with total abandon.
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,187
People there they got
these funny belly buttons,
9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,356
like some go in,
and some go out.
10
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,942
And showing America what
a funny woman could do.
11
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,569
She's the first cast
member ever of SNL.
12
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,737
She was number one.
13
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,155
Never mind.
14
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:34,993
Gilda Radner was one
of my comedy goddesses.
15
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,328
Boom ba ba boom!
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:40,999
She permeates all
things female comedy.
17
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,543
I am woman,
hear me roar.
18
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,170
[Roaring]
19
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,632
She was ballsy, she was
feminine, she was hilarious.
20
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,343
I nauseous, I'm
constipated, my feet swell,
21
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,553
my gums are bleeding,
my sinuses are clogged,
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,265
I got heartburn, I'm
cranky and I have gas.
23
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,933
My brain cracked open.
24
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,810
She was being ridiculous
and gross and
25
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,019
people were laughing.
26
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:04,273
She was fearless and
she was physical.
27
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,191
You're idolizing this
person and saying,
28
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,985
"If I wanna do it,
I wanna be like Gilda."
29
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,028
But for all the
jokes on stage...
30
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,072
I told everyone I was
going to the bathroom,
31
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,408
but I really went to a coffee
shop and had apple pie
32
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,993
à la mode and I ate
the whole thing.
33
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,869
She was grappling
with a darker reality
34
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,329
behind the scenes.
35
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,331
She was very conscious
of what she looked like.
36
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,208
I think she had some
serious demons.
37
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,628
She was addicted to love and
attention and food.
38
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:30,257
While this fame is happening,
your wildest dreams,
39
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,968
you look in the mirror and
you have body dysmorphia.
40
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,846
She said, "I'm gonna teach
you how to eat as much as
41
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,597
you want and not
gain weight."
42
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,599
Gilda's life was in danger.
43
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,852
How did one of the greatest
comedians of a generation
44
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,729
nearly die from the
same struggles
45
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,772
she laughed
about on screen?
46
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,191
'Eating disorder' wasn't
in the zeitgeist then.
47
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:52,362
I don't think she understood
how dangerous it was.
48
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,739
[Overlapping voices]
Ladies and gentlemen!
49
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,240
You are about to
be entertained!
50
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,492
Getting the laugh is
the greatest addiction.
51
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,744
They want more of it,
they want more of it.
52
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,579
He was getting death threats.
It [beep] with your head!
53
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,622
He's out of his skull!
That's what took her down.
54
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,750
This is a crazy story.
55
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,131
[Applauding]
56
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,175
Hi Fern, I'm home!
57
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,637
When 'Saturday Night Live'
hit the airwaves in 1975,
58
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,473
Gilda Radner is a
truly standout star.
59
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,099
...I could drink a horse.
60
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,810
She seems to have a magical
ability to connect with
61
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,271
crowds and
crack up a room.
62
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:30,692
You know, we all can't
be brainy like Fern here.
63
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:31,985
[Laughing]
64
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,072
Gilda's inner child was very
alive a lot of the time,
65
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,823
you know, so you
could be very playful
66
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,283
and goofy with her.
67
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,411
I remember her being just
funny and silly and big and...
68
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,872
everybody liked Gilda.
69
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,041
Growing up in
golden age Detroit,
70
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,543
Gilda seems destined
for showbiz.
71
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,754
When I was a little girl
growing up in Detroit,
72
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,757
my dad used to take me to
see shows when they'd come
73
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,259
into town, and we'd sit in
about the third row,
74
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,220
and I'd look up on the stage
and the people up there
75
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,305
just always looked so
happy to be there.
76
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,808
I thought to myself that
that's what I wanted to do
77
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,351
and that's where
I wanted to be.
78
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,104
A successful businessman,
her father runs a hotel that
79
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:10,899
hosts entertainers, and he
encourages Gilda's talent.
80
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,485
She always said she got her
sense of humour from her
81
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:17,656
father who was a great
jokester and had a certain
82
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,660
kind of, you know,
off kilter view of the world.
83
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,912
She was the apple
of her dad's eye.
84
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,081
He just adored her and
85
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,749
she loved to make him laugh.
86
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,167
But for all her
father's love,
87
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,545
Gilda's childhood
is still unsettled.
88
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,338
My mother couldn't
take the winters,
89
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,091
so every November my family
would go to Miami Beach and
90
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:39,177
live for maybe four months,
and then come back to Detroit.
91
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,722
My brother and I couldn't
get attached anywhere.
92
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,640
I didn't have any friends.
93
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,184
Gilda takes refuge in her
imagination and
94
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,186
over eats to
cope with stress.
95
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,938
Then at age twelve,
96
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,815
her childhood is
turned upside down.
97
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,235
Gilda's father was
diagnosed with brain cancer,
98
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,448
and it was a very long,
drawn out ordeal for Gilda,
99
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,742
probably very traumatic.
100
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,036
Gilda's father dies when
she's only 14 years old.
101
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,581
It was too great and sudden
a loss of a person
102
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,916
whom I adored,
and who adored me.
103
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:14,129
I spent years trying to mourn
my father's death properly.
104
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,257
A decade later, Gilda
follows love to Canada.
105
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,760
No intention of a
life in show business,
106
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,180
but her fate intersects with
a special moment in time.
107
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:27,267
Toronto was an extraordinary
city back in the 70s.
108
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,019
There was just a
lot of opportunity,
109
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:33,190
from Second City to
"Godspell" to TV series.
110
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,942
There were so many of us
around and
111
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,403
Gilda somehow
came into my life.
112
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,614
Surrounded by a generation
of future stars,
113
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,491
Gilda follows her love
for performance
114
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,326
back to the local stage.
115
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,496
I first met Gilda in the
early 70s when we were both
116
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:52,125
cast in a children's show
called 'Modern Fables.'
117
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,878
She found out that there was
an audition coming up
118
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,129
for "Godspell".
119
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,883
It's basically the story
of Jesus done as a musical
120
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,927
filled with clowns
and hippies.
121
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,887
People were auditioning
left, right and centre.
122
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,639
Gilda was not
particularly a singer,
123
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,391
but she went in and sang
"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah",
124
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,936
and she's Gilda,
so she killed it.
125
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,063
That was the beginning of
her stepping out of
126
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,649
sort of obscurity into
the spotlight.
127
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,902
[Singing] ...description
of the Promised Land,
128
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:19,903
maybe you could
reach it.
129
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,447
That was the first
professional job I'd ever had.
130
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,032
I don't, I can't
speak for Paul.
131
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,283
-Is that the first?
-Same for me, yeah.
132
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,201
Okay.
133
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,410
There were some really
amazing people in there.
134
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,371
Yeah, Marty Short,
Andrea Martin,
135
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,790
Eugene Levy,
Nancy Dolman.
136
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,708
We all started
out together,
137
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:34,876
didn't know what
would happen.
138
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,587
We just spent a year
jumping up and down.
139
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,258
On Godspell's crowded
stage, Gilda shines.
140
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,511
The first time I ever
laid eyes on Gilda was in
141
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,180
"Godspell" and there was this
little beaming face in this
142
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,392
ocean of brown wavy hair,
and your eyes just
143
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,269
went to her and
stayed with her.
144
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,354
She was magnetic as hell.
145
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,648
She just had it, you know,
whatever that thing was,
146
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,651
it was a stage full of
really talented performers,
147
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,028
but Gilda just was
standout right away.
148
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,697
Instant hit.
149
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:07,534
For Gilda, 'Godspell" whets
a growing appetite for fame.
150
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,286
I think she got
the taste of it.
151
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,913
I think she knew it
was the pond
152
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,707
she was supposed
to swim in.
153
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,333
I remember walking down
the street with her one day,
154
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:19,004
and I was really well known
in this city at that time,
155
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,797
and Gilda kept saying,
"Everybody knows you.
156
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,632
I want people to
know me."
157
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,635
And I went,
"I have a feeling."
158
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,263
Gilda catches the eye
of another rising star,
159
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,641
John Belushi, and is
recruited to New York City
160
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,144
to co-star in a
radio comedy hour.
161
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,314
♪ [Singing] ♪
162
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:41,026
You're listening to the
National Lampoon Radio Hour.
163
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,111
Gilda hits the
airwaves for the first time
164
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,323
with other future greats like
John Belushi, Bill Murray,
165
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,700
and Harold Ramis,
but in New York,
166
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,702
something even
bigger is brewing.
167
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,996
A producer named
Lorne Michaels sets out
168
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,166
to find the very first cast
for a sketch comedy show
169
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,044
called 'Saturday
Night Live.'
170
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,795
...and a double take
to the left.
171
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,423
He has his eye on one
performer in particular.
172
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,134
-Ladies and gentlemen.
-Ah! [Laughing]
173
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,886
[Announceer]
Gilda "Radnay"!
174
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,722
"Ner".
Gilda Radner.
175
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,724
I'm not gonna
talk about food,
176
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,893
and I'm not gonna
talk about guys,
177
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:18,355
and I already did all my
comedy material in the
178
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,149
first five minutes that
I saw everyone
179
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,443
to win them over
as my friends.
180
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,321
She's the first cast
member ever of SNL.
181
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,697
She was number one.
182
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,075
The very first person cast
on "Saturday Night Live",
183
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:33,536
Gilda is on the brink of
life altering fame.
184
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,580
A pioneer in the making.
185
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:40,126
I think the thing that Lorne
saw in Gilda is this
186
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,963
magnetic woman who's
not afraid to be silly.
187
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,467
[Laughing]
Leave me alone.
188
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,718
Gilda, are you
wearing a wig?
189
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,262
Yes.
[Laughing]
190
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,391
She brought such
energy to the room.
191
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:59,187
-Gilda, that was great.
-Thank you! Bye.
192
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,189
Gilda is on the
edge of stardom,
193
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,565
but behind the scenes
194
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,276
she's battling
lifelong demons.
195
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,028
From the time I was
nine years old,
196
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:11,199
I have weighed as much as 160
pounds and as little as 93.
197
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,202
Throughout my teenage years
stress caused me to overeat,
198
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,870
and the fear of
being fat put me on
199
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,415
tedious and endless diets.
200
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,250
She obviously knew
she had a problem.
201
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,502
She had difficulty
with food.
202
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,963
Gilda told me a
story once, you know,
203
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,382
at a really peak
neurotic moment,
204
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,759
and calling the deli and
pretending she had a
205
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,262
room full of people
in her apartment,
206
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,515
and she would go around the
room and ask these imaginary
207
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,309
people what they wanted
to order from the deli-
208
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,271
[Laughing]- and she would
put in this massive order.
209
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,856
It was all for her.
210
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,775
For Gilda, a habit of stress
eating is colliding with the
211
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,319
pressures of performing
in the public eye.
212
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:51,239
The phrase 'eating disorder'
wasn't in the zeitgeist then.
213
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:54,617
I think it took some years
to understand
214
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,537
exactly how dire it got.
215
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:07,756
[Applauding]
216
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,301
Live from New York,
it's Sunday night!
217
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,052
[Cheering]
218
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,555
'Saturday Night Live' debuts
on national television
219
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,683
on October 11th, 1975.
220
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,351
-Mr. Bee?
-Yes?
221
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,645
Congratulations,
it's a worker!
222
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,939
And Gilda is one of
the very first to
223
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,274
connect with audiences.
224
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,859
Boom ba ba boom!
225
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,069
[Laughing]
226
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,113
Gilda Radner was
227
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,158
one of my comedy
goddesses.
228
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,494
[Shouting over
each other]
229
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:41,247
She was fearless and
she was physical and
230
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,541
she was gorgeous,
you know, cute as a button,
231
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,961
but also unfettered
by whatever this was.
232
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,838
She was just bringing
her whole self.
233
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:52,675
Here with an editorial
reply is Miss Emily Litella.
234
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,513
What's all this fuss I
keep hearing about
235
00:09:56,513 --> 00:10:00,058
violins on television?
236
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,310
It was just a ponytail
and a pair of glasses,
237
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,812
and the body changed.
238
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,313
-It's terrible the way things-
-Miss Litella?
239
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,689
-What? What?
-Miss Litella...
240
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,566
That was
"violence on television",
241
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,735
not violins...
violence.
242
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:14,364
-Oh. Well, that's different.
-Yes.
243
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,865
Never mind.
244
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,786
"Never mind."
[Laughing]
245
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,621
La la la la la!
246
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,541
As 'Saturday Night Live'
becomes a national event,
247
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,710
Gilda introduces a series of
iconic characters and
248
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,712
quickly becomes
a sensation.
249
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,631
This is Baba Wawa
at Large.
250
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,924
[Applauding]
251
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,301
She was the first person
to replicate news anchors,
252
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,221
and that is now the
most popular thing
253
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,808
on SNL is the news.
Like, that is the segment.
254
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,686
There's never a dull moment
in my "iwustwious caweer".
255
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:45,937
Baba Wawa...
256
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,981
oh man, Gilda nails it.
257
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,025
I'm hoping as I watch there's
some type of transference,
258
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,361
you know, some
osmosis, because...
259
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,113
Gilda, she just has it.
260
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,824
And tonight we'll be talking
to an actual "wiving wegend".
261
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,952
The incwedible
Mawena Goyshwin.
262
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,036
[Laughing]
263
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,788
I have a very vivid memory.
264
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040
I was about 12 years old,
265
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,960
and I told my mom,
266
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,253
"Have you noticed that
there aren't any
267
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,838
funny women anywhere"?
268
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,549
And she got pissed and she
showed me Gilda Radner.
269
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,176
A Mr. Richard Fedder
from Fort Lee,
270
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,095
New Jersey writes
in and says,
271
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,223
"Dear Roseanne
Roseannadanna.
272
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,976
Last Thursday
I quit smoking.
273
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,562
Now I'm depressed,
I gained weight,
274
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,606
my face broke out,
I'm nauseous,
275
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,399
I'm constipated,
my feet swell,
276
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,692
my gums are bleeding,
277
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,485
my sinuses are clogged,
I got heartburn,
278
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,237
I'm cranky, and
I have gas."
279
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,908
-[Laughing]
-"What should I do?"
280
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,494
Mr. Fedder, you sound like
a real attractive guy.
281
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,370
[Laughing]
282
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,830
My brain cracked open.
283
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,498
It was a profound
moment for me.
284
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,209
She was being successfully
gross as a woman.
285
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,921
This is a time where we're,
we're figuring out, like,
286
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,297
what is a woman?
287
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,216
Is it just a
possession of a man?
288
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,551
Is she just, like,
supposed to be a wife?
289
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,762
And she's like,
"No, I'm gonna be a,
290
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:04,390
a loudmouth comedian."
Which in itself is so radical.
291
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,935
I am woman,
hear me roar.
292
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,686
[Roaring]
293
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:13,233
Gilda had the ability to be
herself and hold her own
294
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,234
on a stage full of
testosterone.
295
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,527
Gilda Radner was
the first person to
296
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,404
say 'bitch' on television.
297
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,114
-Bitch.
-[Laughing]
298
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,908
That is a big deal.
299
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,619
To be able to
curse on camera,
300
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,163
but still be a woman
and still be loved.
301
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,748
Audiences across
the country
302
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,875
quickly see something
fresh in Gilda.
303
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,169
A woman whose brand
of comedy is raw,
304
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,755
authentic, and
totally relatable.
305
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,549
Early in the show, we were
sitting in Lorne Michael's
306
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:42,178
office where we would
pitch ideas for the host.
307
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,473
Gilda had just been talking
to us about what she had
308
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,642
eaten from the time
she had woken up,
309
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,227
you know,
a lot of candy.
310
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,146
She was pioneering
compulsive candor.
311
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,607
We were just rolling
on the floor.
312
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,985
Everybody knew that was
gonna be solid laughs,
313
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,195
and Lorne immediately
made out a card,
314
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,030
"What Gilda Ate",
and put it up like
315
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,699
she had pitched
a sketch.
316
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:03,950
[Applauding]
317
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,702
And now a new feature
on Saturday Night,
318
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,954
"What Gilda Ate".
Gilda?
319
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,789
Thanks, Rob.
Okay.
320
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,792
I started the day with one
piece of dry toast and two
321
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,545
egg whites scrambled in
a no-stick Teflon pan.
322
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,840
I just loved it because
comedy up until then had
323
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,467
never been about women,
it had always
324
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,302
pretty much
been about men,
325
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,680
and maybe men
making fun of women.
326
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,599
But it wasn't women making
fun of themselves or
327
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,270
commenting on the
state of being a woman.
328
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,148
That was what was really
quite exciting about
329
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,941
'Saturday Night Live.'
330
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,860
And then when I got back to
the office I told everyone
331
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,112
I was going to the bathroom,
but I really went to
332
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,239
a coffee shop and had
apple pie à la mode and
333
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,615
I ate the whole thing.
334
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,993
And on the way back up in the
elevator I found a Milk Dud
335
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,245
covered with tobacco in
the bottom of my purse.
336
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,329
[Laughing]
337
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,914
It was hilariously funny,
but, you know,
338
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,750
really sad at
the same time.
339
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,543
It was a confession
because she ate
340
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,045
more than she
wanted to eat.
341
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,046
Peanut MUNCH bar and
a box of Cheez It's.
342
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,255
Thank you very much, Gilda,
that's enough, thank you.
343
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,256
Wait, I'm not
finished yet.
344
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,674
I know but we have to go
on with the show, I'm sorry.
345
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,634
-Oh, I'll just go get a snack.
-Okay.
346
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,386
[Laughing]
347
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,306
While Gilda taps into her
neuroses for material,
348
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,808
almost overnight she is
thrust into the
349
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,560
crucible of fame.
350
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,688
She zoomed to stardom
so quickly and
351
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,858
everything had
changed so rapidly.
352
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,401
At first it was, like,
353
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,196
really fun to be in
this goldfish bowl.
354
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,365
You'd roll out of this
intense three week period
355
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,993
of three shows and
people would be
356
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,037
echoing catchphrases
you used.
357
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,914
You know, like Gilda
would hear, "Never mind."
358
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,167
Yee-hee-hee-hee!
359
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,753
Live from Mardi Gras,
it's Saturday night!
360
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,880
[Cheering]
361
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,508
With SNL's popularity
hitting the stratosphere,
362
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,594
the team takes the show on
the road to New Orleans.
363
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,723
For Gilda, it's a taste of
fame that sours her appetite.
364
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,141
Hello, hello!
365
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,685
It was a disaster
on many levels,
366
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,480
and people started to really
run after Gilda and
367
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,482
kind of want
pieces of her.
368
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,901
And I think they were
chasing her and there was
369
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,445
some menace if they can't
get what they want.
370
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,863
People were cracking up.
371
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,241
It felt like the world
was watching, you know?
372
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,159
A lot of people
were watching.
373
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,537
[Cheering]
374
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,997
Hounded into hiding,
Gilda escapes through
375
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,542
the New Orleans airport
in disguise.
376
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,962
There's no school to how to
become famous gracefully.
377
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,840
At first there are some
perks and it seems wonderful,
378
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,758
but there's another
side to it
379
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,218
where you have
no privacy.
380
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,388
[Indistinct shouting]
381
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,141
You're still following me?
382
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,143
Stop!
Leave me alone!
383
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,228
In New Orleans, I think
she really saw the
384
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,981
dark side of fame and it
scared the shit out of her.
385
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,567
Back in New York,
the intense demands of
386
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,278
the show's weekly
schedule start increasingly
387
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,947
bearing down on
Gilda and the cast.
388
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,866
The legend of
'Saturday Night Live'
389
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,285
is that it is gruelling.
390
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,372
That show is made
every week, in a week,
391
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,915
and then it goes live.
392
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,293
And there are many,
many stories of
393
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,170
the pressure
and the stress.
394
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,755
Hi, Yorta.
Hi, George.
395
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:05,798
Sorry we're late.
396
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,133
Suddenly you're there,
but there's a
397
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,759
whole bunch of other
people there too.
398
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,720
How do you get in
front of the camera?
399
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,847
And it was pretty
crazy 'cause, you know,
400
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,974
a lot of the cast
members were doing drugs,
401
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,476
and this heavy
intense schedule,
402
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,937
and having to come up
with stuff all the time.
403
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,481
But there were problems
and obstacles for
404
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,066
the women in
that company.
405
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,985
There was a lot of
pushing around, I guess,
406
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,279
for territory amongst
the actors and
407
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,822
especially the men.
408
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,991
Under pressure and
competing for space,
409
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,285
Gilda's anxieties are
also amplified by
410
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,787
an entirely new
experience...
411
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,707
being watched by
millions every week.
412
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,918
You're on camera, the
camera adds 10 pounds,
413
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,337
you're standing next to
a really skinny person.
414
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,757
Sometimes people have no
compunction about saying
415
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,759
what her body looked
like in something,
416
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,303
and you'd watch the
playback of the show later.
417
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,014
Suddenly the world can
see her body and,
418
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,099
she was very conscious of
what she looked like.
419
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,519
Yeah, she was hard
on herself that way.
420
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,271
Even a woman doctor like me
can have a weight problem.
421
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,523
That's why for many years
I've tried exhausting
422
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,026
exercises, harmful pills,
and worst of all,
423
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,111
complex and
annoying diets.
424
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:12,240
So finally, I wrote
my own book.
425
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,241
There've always been these
426
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,369
impossible beauty
standards for women.
427
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,579
[Ringing]
428
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,623
-Hello?
-It's Charlie, Angel.
429
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,958
Time to go to work.
430
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,793
In magazines and on TV
431
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,921
during the 1960s
and the 1970s,
432
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,173
women were thin,
and gorgeous,
433
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,634
and blonde,
and perfect.
434
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,053
Now,
Gilda wasn't blonde
435
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,389
but she could control
her weight,
436
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,933
and she did that by
restricting her food and
437
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,935
getting thinner, and
thinner, and thinner,
438
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,355
because that was what she
could control in that moment.
439
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:47,733
The stress seemed to be
getting to her and
440
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,652
that was the form it took.
441
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,195
Gilda never
really smoked pot,
442
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,322
nor did she like cocaine,
which she called,
443
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,532
'the devil's dandruff'.
444
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,493
She wanted to,
you know, be skinny.
445
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,662
That was her jones.
446
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,586
♪ TO WEAR MY
CLOTHES WITHOUT ♪
447
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,755
♪ IMPRINTING
IN MY SKIN, ♪
448
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:14,343
♪ THE ELASTIC FROM
MY UNDERPANTS. ♪
449
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,512
♪ UNDERPANTS. ♪
450
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,681
Gilda Radner continues to
win over audiences
451
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:22,476
with her unvarnished comedy,
but under the spotlight
452
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,854
she battles with
her food intake.
453
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,231
Onstage, she jokes
about weight and
454
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,525
her diet of artificial
sweeteners.
455
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,193
♪ [Vocalizing] ♪
456
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,030
Now saccharin and I will
be together forever
457
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,906
in low calorie heaven.
458
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,991
[Laughing]
459
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:37,950
♪ Saccharin! ♪
460
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,910
♪ You left a bad
taste in my mouth! ♪
461
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,329
♪ But you kept my
seams from bustin'! ♪
462
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,164
♪ Saccharin!
Without you in my life ♪
463
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,250
♪ my body would be
absolutely disgusting! ♪
464
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,462
For years she'd been eating
so much saccharin and
465
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,798
so much Diet Tab, and we'd
try to get her off it
466
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,968
because there was
awareness blooming,
467
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,679
finally, that some
of these artificial
468
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,349
sweeteners are
carcinogenic.
469
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:05,019
She was struggling with
eating disorders and then
470
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,229
simultaneously
would be doing
471
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,523
bits on SNL about that.
472
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:13,152
Live from New York,
it's Saturday night!
473
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,904
As the show continues,
474
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,531
Gilda's eating disorder
takes another turn.
475
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:21,494
Gilda was so stressed about
having to perform and
476
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,081
having to achieve an ideal,
that her now anorexia
477
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,875
has developed
into purging.
478
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,919
So, she has,
at this point,
479
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,129
run the gamut of
eating disorders.
480
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,841
She went from overeating to
not eating at all and
481
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,968
now she's eating and
vomiting it up.
482
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,971
Early on, Gilda said,
"I'm gonna teach you
483
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,849
how to eat as much as you
want and not gain weight."
484
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,810
And I ate all this food,
and then
485
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,853
she taught me how to
throw it up.
486
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,689
That, you know,
was a shiny new toy.
487
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,899
You know, "Oh my God,
I can eat all I want
488
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,984
and there's no penalty."
489
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,988
I remember hearing that she
was binging and purging,
490
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,698
and I was kind of
shocked because
491
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,450
why would she
need to do that?
492
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:05,955
I felt for her because it's
such a pressure cooker that
493
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,542
they're living in and the
thing for women to be thin is
494
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:14,171
so important, but of course
an eating disorder is not
495
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,299
just about being thin.
It's about control.
496
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,803
In a world where you
don't have any control,
497
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:24,557
especially in entertainment,
like, who likes you?
498
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,184
Who doesn't?
I want to be loved.
499
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,519
Well, I can control this,
500
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,813
and I will focus my
control on this because
501
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,357
everything else feels like
I can't control it.
502
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,192
Offstage and away
from the cameras,
503
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,529
Gilda searches for a bit of
solid ground and security,
504
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,905
in love.
505
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,576
Lorne Michaels said
Gilda was a genius comic,
506
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,995
but she was obsessed
with two things,
507
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,622
her career and
having a boyfriend.
508
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,833
I think she was looking
for a place to land,
509
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,126
where she felt safe.
510
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:55,421
I think Gilda, for all her
charm and all her joy and
511
00:20:55,421 --> 00:21:00,593
all that beauty of her, also
needed to feel secure.
512
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,553
From Toronto to New York,
Gilda has dated
513
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,680
some of the biggest
stars of the time.
514
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,098
From Dan Aykroyd to
515
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,184
Martin Short
and Paul Simon.
516
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,769
Now in the midst
of SNL's chaos,
517
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,688
she finds Bill Murray.
518
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,815
There was an attraction,
it metastasized.
519
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,066
They got together.
520
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,819
You could completely see why,
they had a lot of chemistry.
521
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,655
[Laughing
continues]
522
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,410
Anne Beatts and I wrote,
"The Nerds".
523
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,537
Mom, you don't have
to worry about me
524
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,789
going all the
way with Todd.
525
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,042
It was a real litmus test
of what was going on
526
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,835
in Gilda and Billy's
relationship,
527
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,337
which was hot and cold.
528
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,672
This is your
graduation gift from me.
529
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:42,092
Really?
530
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,470
-Ah!
-Agh!
531
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:47,556
He had another
long-term girlfriend,
532
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,059
so they didn't want
to go too big with it.
533
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,894
Quit it, Pizza Face.
534
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,604
You're messing
up my hair,
535
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,773
boy, are you
ever immature.
536
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,566
But then when they
would do "The Nerds",
537
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,276
how they were
getting along was
538
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,779
completely
reflected in the sketch.
539
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,280
Are there any
new developments?
540
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,616
-[Yelling] Stop!
-I guess not!
541
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,701
So you know, you really
ought to put some bandaids
542
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,453
on those mosquito
bites you got there.
543
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:13,415
Ha-ha-ha. That's so funny
I forgot to laugh.
544
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,293
She developed this
codependency on men,
545
00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:19,547
and she went from boyfriend
to boyfriend to boyfriend...
546
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,257
she was never
really alone.
547
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,925
I think that's
a hard balance.
548
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:26,554
To go from being adored on
the giant macro scale
549
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,390
of that, to then living
a private life,
550
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,642
and Gilda was never
lacking for love,
551
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:33,644
everyone in her
life loved her...
552
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:36,063
but I think Gilda's need
for love was massive.
553
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:40,276
♪
554
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:42,361
♪ ...JEWISH JEANS. ♪
555
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,737
♪ SHE SHOPS THE SALE. ♪
556
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,197
Despite fame and acclaim,
557
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,575
by the late 1970s
Gilda's demons
558
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:50,578
are starting to show
up off stage as well.
559
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:53,289
During the third and fourth
year she was very thin.
560
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,791
Sometimes I would go out
to dinner with Gilda.
561
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,085
After eating dinner with
us she would get up in the
562
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,130
restaurant and go around and
ask strangers for bites of
563
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,424
their dessert, which
was a very odd,
564
00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:06,218
curious thing to do, and
she was at that point
565
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,345
the darling
of New York.
566
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,723
You know, she was
America's sweetheart,
567
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,475
and they were sort
of thrilled to have
568
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:14,894
a Gilda story.
569
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:17,021
I'm sure after one of those
she would have to
570
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,981
go and throw it up,
wherever she could
571
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,400
do it and not be
overheard.
572
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,736
Back in the 1970s,
Gilda's friends
573
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,446
knew there was something
wrong with her,
574
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,781
but they didn't exactly
know what it was,
575
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:30,117
and they didn't know
how to give her the
576
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,286
kind of support,
and the kind of help,
577
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,204
and the kind of resources
that she desperately
578
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,748
needed during that time.
579
00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:38,375
Unchecked, Gilda's eating
disorders deepen
580
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,753
as she falls towards
rock bottom.
581
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,463
I think everybody was
worried about Gilda,
582
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,590
but everybody was kinda
trying to keep their nose
583
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,884
above the waterline
themselves because of
584
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,970
just the amount of stress.
585
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,806
So, I was onto
what she was doing,
586
00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:54,850
I didn't know how
extreme it was.
587
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:58,020
I later learned that Gilda
had been hospitalized.
588
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,241
With SNL on summer
hiatus in 1978,
589
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,578
Gilda Radner, one of the
show's biggest stars,
590
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:18,165
finally caves under
the unrelenting stress.
591
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,292
She checks herself
into hospital.
592
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,752
She went in voluntarily,
593
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,129
but at that time
in the 1970s,
594
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,757
going to a
psychiatric facility
595
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,759
to address
psychiatric issues,
596
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,719
which is what an
eating disorder is,
597
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,388
wasn't common.
598
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,556
It was still really shameful
599
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,767
as opposed to
what we feel now.
600
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,435
Go get help.
601
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,729
Gilda's doctors teach her to
keep a detailed diary
602
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,774
of her diet-
1,200 calories a day-
603
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,443
nudging her up and
out of the abyss.
604
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:49,279
If you think about eating
disorders and you think about
605
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,199
anorexia in particular,
it kind of is like a cancer,
606
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,285
where it starts to
eat away at your body.
607
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:57,204
Gilda's life was in danger.
608
00:24:57,204 --> 00:25:00,249
She was on her way to
death had it not had
609
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:02,835
some level of intervention
at that time.
610
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,587
She was just such a star,
it just felt like
611
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,173
everything fell
in line for her.
612
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:11,510
And then you get to know her
and her struggles and
613
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,596
you're now connected like,
"Oh my goodness,
614
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,974
she's suffered an
eating disorder."
615
00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,226
And while this fame
is happening,
616
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,895
your wildest dreams,
you look in the mirror
617
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:24,398
and you have body
dysmorphia, and that
618
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:27,359
mask just pretending
to be normal is the
619
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,696
first mask of like,
"Hi guys, I'm fine.
620
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,156
Now I'm gonna put
on a character.
621
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,116
I am now a character."
622
00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:37,035
Dr. Breadloaf's
Quick Loss Diet Book.
623
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:41,290
Let's turn to page one
and read the instructions.
624
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:43,876
Breakfast?
Eat page one.
625
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,377
-[Laughing]
-That's right.
626
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,880
You simply tear the page
out of the book and eat it.
627
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,841
What could be easier
or more slimming?
628
00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,342
Mm!
629
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:55,012
With Gilda, there was always
the shadow of having been
630
00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:57,097
a chubby little girl,
and I think there was
631
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,724
a lot of baggage on that.
632
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,268
Her mother put her on
Dexedrine to get her
633
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,520
to lose weight and to
conform with some image
634
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,982
she wanted her
daughter to express.
635
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,151
She mentioned it and
sometimes we would
636
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:12,362
act out our own familial
baggage on, you know,
637
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:15,574
the airwaves, which was a
strange perk of the job.
638
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:20,871
We know a lot of comics who
have dark histories and
639
00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:24,041
dark childhoods that,
that kinda make them
640
00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:26,251
who they were
and who they are,
641
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:28,670
and I think
Gilda is no exception.
642
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:31,215
You want the acceptance
of your mother.
643
00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:33,717
If she's saying
I'm not enough,
644
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,386
then I need to go and
figure out how to be enough.
645
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:40,599
Comedy is a mental
disorder where
646
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,851
you need people
to love you.
647
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:45,687
Strangers are preferable.
648
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:49,191
She was seeking
validation from strangers,
649
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,068
from laughter,
from anything.
650
00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:53,821
But for Gilda, putting her
whole self out there
651
00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:56,198
has already taken a
dangerous toll.
652
00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:59,743
I think being a performer
is a high wire act.
653
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:03,497
It's hard to be open
and vulnerable
654
00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:05,165
and expose yourself.
655
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,793
You're exposing your
soul, your heart...
656
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,212
you're giving up a
lot of your pain,
657
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:13,173
and as a result of that I
think other things
658
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,217
come loose in
the machinery.
659
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:18,679
Why do we see so many
performers fall into drugs?
660
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:21,139
Fall into addictive
behaviour?
661
00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:23,517
You have to be willing
to open yourself up,
662
00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:26,812
and the minute you do
that... it gets scary.
663
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,730
-Gilda Radner!
-[Cheering]
664
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:32,359
After 14 days in hospital,
Gilda returns to SNL
665
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,279
vowing to stay the
course to stability.
666
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,114
She's on comedy's,
mountaintop,
667
00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,157
and wins an Emmy
for her work.
668
00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,534
Thank you.
669
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:44,788
Like my dressing room at
NBC, I share this with,
670
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,083
with Laraine Newman
and Jane Curtin.
671
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,336
Climbing higher,
she hits Broadway solo.
672
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:54,590
Escaping for a brief
moment the confines of TV,
673
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,592
certifying her
star power.
674
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,678
♪ THE ANIMALS,
THE ANIMALS, ♪
675
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,472
♪ LET'S TALK
DIRTY TO THE ANIMALS♪
676
00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,267
♪ ---- YOU,
MR. BUNNY. ♪
677
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,312
♪ EAT SHIT,
MR. BEAR. ♪
678
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:11,565
♪ IF THEY DON'T LOVE IT,
THEY CAN SHOVE IT, ♪
679
00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:15,527
♪ FRANKLY
I DON'T CARE, OH... ♪
680
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,237
She had some heartbreaking
numbers in that show.
681
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,823
Some amazing things.
I mean, it was...
682
00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:22,618
you know, it was like one
step from Judy Garland.
683
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:26,997
But statistics prove that
most guys prefer skinny girls
684
00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:30,751
with cancer over healthy
girls with bulging thighs.
685
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:32,711
[Applauding]
686
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,795
I remember thinking,
I'm like,
687
00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,714
"Does this mean
you're dying?"
688
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,758
They say you
gave rats cancer,
689
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:39,801
but I say that
can't be true.
690
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:41,637
Even though it was
this dark, gritty,
691
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,222
true, nasty material,
692
00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:48,435
hearing just the laughs,
and being with her kind
693
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:52,230
just was such a
boost for her.
694
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:55,567
Gilda's one-woman show
is a huge success,
695
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,402
and that same year
she gets married to
696
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,154
her band's guitarist.
697
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,865
But back at SNL,
tensions grow as
698
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,201
some of Gilda's oldest
collaborators break into
699
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:07,955
Hollywood while she
continues to run ragged.
700
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,874
The pressure was just so
huge and everybody
701
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,668
responded to it in
a different way.
702
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:13,877
I just left.
703
00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:17,297
In 1980, Gilda looks for a
fresh start and performs in
704
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,925
her final episode of
Saturday Night Live.
705
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:23,053
Lord and Lady
Douchebag.
706
00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:24,888
[Laughing]
707
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:27,933
When Gilda left SNL,
I think more than anything,
708
00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:31,979
she was looking for a quiet,
safe place where
709
00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:35,857
she would feel totally and
completely loved, nurtured,
710
00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:38,902
and appreciated for
having Gilda-ness.
711
00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,321
Gilda is cast in her
first Hollywood feature,
712
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,199
and her life is about to
be turned upside down.
713
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:46,785
The agents in Chicago
arranged for it.
714
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,078
They didn't say
anything about you.
715
00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:51,164
Oh, I'm Kate Hellman.
I'm really, I'm sorry.
716
00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:52,457
-How do you do?
-I thought you were a burglar.
717
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:54,292
I thought you were a burglar!
718
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,169
Something very special
happened to you
719
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:57,379
in 'Hanky Panky.'
720
00:29:57,379 --> 00:30:00,632
-Yeah, I met Gene Wilder.
-Everybody loves a love story.
721
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,092
Oh, yes, I know.
722
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:06,013
Well, you know,
this wonderful person...
723
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,515
got a crush on him, you know,
that's what happens.
724
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,809
Start, your heart starts
fluttering, you don't know,
725
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,644
you can't put two
words together,
726
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:16,523
feet don't touch the floor,
can't sleep at night.
727
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,483
Gilda felt abandoned by
728
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:20,652
her father after he died.
729
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:23,613
When somebody experiences
a big traumatic event at a
730
00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:27,909
young age, you tend to become
very emotionally stunted.
731
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:29,661
If you look at
Gilda's characters,
732
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:33,081
a lot of her characters
are little girls and
733
00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:37,294
little children or
stunted women,
734
00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,712
and that followed her
735
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:41,173
throughout the
rest of her life.
736
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:44,176
She sought that validation
737
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:47,637
through men in her life and
738
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,723
she was never really alone
because she didn't
739
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,851
value herself to be alone
and be okay with that.
740
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,186
Gilda leaves her husband,
741
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,730
swapping New York
for life in Los Angeles,
742
00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:58,356
with one of the
biggest movie stars
743
00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,691
in the world.
744
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,778
Gilda was madly
in love with Gene.
745
00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,237
He was a movie star.
746
00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:07,491
He wasn't someone
who OD'd or had
747
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:09,826
all kinds of
neurotic problems.
748
00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:12,621
He came from a slightly
different generation and
749
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:16,666
I think the scruffy,
hippie, druggie thing
750
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:18,960
wasn't his shtick.
It wasn't his jam.
751
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,172
Gene didn't want
Gilda to have anything
752
00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:24,633
to do with any of the
SNL people anymore.
753
00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,718
He didn't want Gilda
anywhere near it.
754
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,386
With the stress of
New York behind her,
755
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:31,098
Gilda begins to
eat and live well.
756
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:34,726
I think that Gilda found
a safe harbour with Gene.
757
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,728
I bet it was the first time
Gilda ever had
758
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,897
that much safety.
759
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,691
A lot of my characters had
a lot to do with growing up,
760
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:46,488
and I've got a direct line
to being a little girl still,
761
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:49,116
but I don't
want it to be...
762
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:51,618
invade my life as
much as it has.
763
00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:54,621
I'm not, I'm less
afraid to grow up.
764
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,373
♪
765
00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,666
Hello, Ted.
766
00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,001
The stage is set for a big
second act with her
767
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:02,838
new co-star and partner,
but success
768
00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:05,173
in the movies is
harder to come by.
769
00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:07,467
I don't think film was
the medium that
770
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,302
Gilda excelled in.
771
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,346
When she did
movies for, for Gene,
772
00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:13,390
it never quite gelled the
same way 'cause
773
00:32:13,390 --> 00:32:16,017
she needed the excitement
of a live audience.
774
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:18,353
She missed
performing live.
775
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:21,022
Gilda and Gene travel to
England to film what they
776
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:24,067
hope will be their first
big box office hit,
777
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,987
but fate is about to
take another turn.
778
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,623
You are again with him
in 'Haunted Honeymoon'.
779
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,624
Yeah.
780
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,585
What was special about
that role for you?
781
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:43,920
Well, 'cause I got to
be engaged to, to him
782
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,089
and I got to wear a
wedding gown for 40 days in
783
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:49,885
a row straight, and I got to
take wedding photos that
784
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,137
I never had from our
actual marriage.
785
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,264
Now married, Gilda Radner
and Gene Wilder
786
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:55,891
are happy and
full of hope
787
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,685
trying to remedy a string
of mediocre movies
788
00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:00,312
when the clouds set in.
789
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,856
Ultimately, the
reviews were terrible.
790
00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:05,817
The movie bombed, which
was devastating to Gilda,
791
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,278
she had wanted the
movie to be a success.
792
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:11,865
And toward the end of the
filming of that movie,
793
00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,408
she got ill.
794
00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:15,243
She didn't know
what was wrong.
795
00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:17,913
Back in the United States
after wrapping the film,
796
00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:20,248
Gilda's mysterious
symptoms continue.
797
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:23,001
I'd feel good for a few days
and I'd think I was fine,
798
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,711
and then I'd wake up
one day and feel like
799
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:26,213
I was getting the flu.
800
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,173
It was as though I was
hypnotized into
801
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:31,259
this deep sleep, like a fog
rolling in over my brain
802
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:32,928
that I couldn't escape.
803
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,639
Virtually every doctor she
saw ended up telling her that
804
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:38,683
she was just being neurotic
805
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,310
or she was depressed.
806
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:44,564
Anything but literally,
organically, ill.
807
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:46,274
After nearly a
year of illness,
808
00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:48,193
Gilda is finally
diagnosed with
809
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,362
stage four
ovarian cancer.
810
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:51,947
One of the first things
she said to me,
811
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:53,615
I remember so clearly,
she said,
812
00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:55,325
"I've been haunted.
813
00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:57,494
I've been having
cancer premonitions
814
00:33:57,494 --> 00:33:59,120
since I was 12."
815
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,581
That's when her father
got brain cancer.
816
00:34:01,581 --> 00:34:04,501
When she finally got this
diagnosis, of course,
817
00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:07,337
it was the realization
of all her fears.
818
00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:11,633
♪
819
00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:13,885
The first night she
was hospitalized,
820
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:17,889
she was alone in a room
watching television,
821
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:20,475
and there was a
station that had been
822
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:25,272
running 'Saturday Night
Live' reruns every night,
823
00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:27,691
and so she was
lying in bed
824
00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:30,902
watching herself
on television,
825
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:35,073
and she was
feeling totally alienated.
826
00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:38,451
You know, she realized that
she'd gone from, you know,
827
00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,913
major star to this
828
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:45,250
helpless figure
in a hospital bed.
829
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,711
Gilda starts to look
back for understanding,
830
00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:50,714
wondering if she had
tempted fate all along.
831
00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:53,550
I was heavy into saccharin
and cyclamates
832
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:55,260
for over 20 years.
833
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,721
I would put those tablets in
my coffee in the morning
834
00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,514
to make it really sweet.
835
00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:01,558
I coped with stress by
having every possible
836
00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,894
eating disorder from the
time I was nine years old.
837
00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:07,188
I sang a song once called
'Goodbye Saccharin'
838
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:09,065
about how I had to have
saccharin because
839
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:10,525
sugar would make me fat,
840
00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:12,861
and I'd rather be thin
and get cancer
841
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:14,946
than have bulging thighs.
842
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,365
It came back to haunt me.
843
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,159
That was a very dark line.
844
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:20,535
We talked about it,
she just said
845
00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:23,496
she wonders, was she
hypnotizing herself?
846
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,874
You know, she said that
line so many times.
847
00:35:25,874 --> 00:35:29,294
Knowing Gilda suffered
from eating disorders
848
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:32,005
and also was
making fun of
849
00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:35,800
that subject matter on
SNL, of course!
850
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,094
Like, it makes
perfect sense.
851
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:41,431
All great performers,
whatever they struggled with
852
00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,850
the most is what they
were pushing out and
853
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,477
getting a laugh out of.
854
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:49,272
You know, sometimes the
funniest thing is the most
855
00:35:49,272 --> 00:35:51,900
truthful thing, and
sometimes the truth is ugly.
856
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:54,069
That's what makes
Gilda great,
857
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,571
is that she doesn't
hide from
858
00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:59,157
the crux of what makes
things uncomfortable,
859
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:01,659
but also what makes
things hilarious.
860
00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:04,537
But as Gilda the comedian
becomes Gilda the patient,
861
00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,456
her faith in her gift falters.
862
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,958
One night, she was walking
down the street in New York,
863
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:11,878
and on this bus shelter
there was
864
00:36:11,878 --> 00:36:15,423
a huge poster of
Gilda from Life Magazine
865
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:18,551
saying, "Comedian laughs
in the face of cancer."
866
00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,013
And, you know,
she really felt like a fraud
867
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,932
because she
wasn't laughing.
868
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,768
Later on, I think
that she realized,
869
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:29,229
or it was just her
natural impulse,
870
00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:32,774
she needed to get control
over the situation.
871
00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:35,693
In 1988 with her cancer
newly in remission,
872
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,655
Gilda sets out to
rediscover her spark.
873
00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:42,158
-Am I getting fat?
-[Laughing]
874
00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,619
Well, just write in
and tell me.
875
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:45,787
Really, you could
do me a favour.
876
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:47,914
I can't tell anymore.
877
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,707
Well, or sit there and
care about yourself.
878
00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:51,126
It's up to you.
879
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,086
[Laughing]
880
00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:54,295
-Hi Garry!
-Oh, Gilda!
881
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,381
It's Gilda Radner,
everybody.
882
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:59,259
Gilda goes out on stage
on Garry Shandling's show.
883
00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:01,803
It's the first time she's
been on TV since
884
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,263
everything has happened.
885
00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:08,059
[Cheering & applauding]
886
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,478
No, no.
Really.
887
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,522
Don't, don't, don't milk the
applause like that, it's...
888
00:37:12,522 --> 00:37:13,481
[Laughing]
889
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:14,566
Oh, I'm sorry, Garry.
890
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:16,234
I haven't been on
television for a while.
891
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,111
Oh that, yeah,
what, what was wrong?
892
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,988
-Oh, I had cancer.
-[Laughing]
893
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:21,322
What did you have?
894
00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,867
[Laughing]
895
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:26,327
I just had a series
of bad career moves.
896
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:27,912
[Laughing]
897
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,038
Which by the way,
there's no treatment for
898
00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:31,416
whatsoever,
so you really...
899
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:35,211
People talk about how comedy
is a way of not being fully
900
00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,714
vulnerable because you
make a joke out of it.
901
00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:39,132
Come on.
902
00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:43,845
[Cheering & applauding]
903
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,430
But there's
power to that.
904
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:47,307
Taking something that's
tragic, or hidden,
905
00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,642
or shameful, and
flipping it around and
906
00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:51,269
turning it into a joke.
907
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:55,482
She somehow spun it
so people would laugh,
908
00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:58,443
so much in a way that she
made you comfortable
909
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,612
talking about her illness.
910
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:05,033
Gilda really shined a light
on what cancer,
911
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:08,036
and the cancer patient
experiences.
912
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,663
She said, "Okay,
now I'm gonna tell all.
913
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:12,248
I have, I have
nothing to lose.
914
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:14,751
I've been to the mountaintop,
for other women and
915
00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,586
other people who
are suffering.
916
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:18,254
I'm gonna tell my story."
917
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:22,133
That's when you see the
complete evolution of Gilda.
918
00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,761
She's not sitting
down crying a river.
919
00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,096
She's cracking jokes.
920
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:30,642
We don't have control of what
ultimately happens to us,
921
00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:34,479
but we have control over
how we react to it,
922
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,607
and Gilda had the
perfect reaction.
923
00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,150
With a winning
return to television,
924
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,945
Gilda begins to see the
possibility of a new dawn
925
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:43,738
on the small screen.
926
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:46,157
When I talked to Gilda about
it later, she said,
927
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,451
you know, "I felt like I
was coming home.
928
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,246
When I opened that door
and walked onto the stage
929
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:54,874
and felt the cameras
and so on...
930
00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:56,668
It was like
coming home."
931
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:06,844
In the spring of 1988,
932
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,972
Gilda Radner is
in remission.
933
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:11,933
She's booked to host a
triumphant return at SNL,
934
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,935
and dreaming
of a new show,
935
00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:17,230
when her recovery is
cruelly cut short.
936
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,066
She had been in remission
and then it came back pretty
937
00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:22,819
full force and she kind of
knew it was curtains.
938
00:39:22,819 --> 00:39:25,280
She had come to a
place of surrender
939
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,657
and that she had gone
through all the emotions
940
00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:30,618
up- to get to
that place.
941
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:34,789
In May, 1989,
at the age of only 42,
942
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:37,584
Gilda Radner enters
hospital in Los Angeles
943
00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,502
for a routine scan.
944
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:42,589
After receiving a sedative,
she falls into a coma.
945
00:39:42,589 --> 00:39:45,883
She never wakes up.
946
00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:48,970
Saturday Night Live was
getting ready to go to air
947
00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:50,930
when the news broke.
948
00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:52,223
You know, I've been
coming here to do
949
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,809
'Saturday Night Live'
since 1976 and
950
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,894
the thing that keeps
coming back to the,
951
00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:58,521
brings you back to
the show is the people
952
00:39:58,521 --> 00:40:00,607
you get to work with,
and I'd like to show you
953
00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:04,319
something we recorded
on this stage in 1978.
954
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:09,157
♪
955
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:14,078
♪
956
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:18,750
♪
957
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,460
♪
958
00:40:20,460 --> 00:40:23,463
[Laughing]
959
00:40:23,463 --> 00:40:27,258
[Applauding]
960
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,551
You know, when I
look at that tape,
961
00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:30,720
I can't help but think how
great she was and
962
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,430
how young I looked.
963
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,682
Gilda, we miss you.
964
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,477
[Applauding
continues]
965
00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:44,442
♪
966
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,277
As the news spreads,
967
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:49,238
tributes from former
co-stars pour in.
968
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:50,615
She was a,
a love light.
969
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,033
You know,
she was a,
970
00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:53,618
a white light in
the world and,
971
00:40:53,618 --> 00:40:55,787
and just full of love
and full of support.
972
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:57,580
She was just
incredibly funny,
973
00:40:57,580 --> 00:41:00,416
and...
she was...
974
00:41:00,416 --> 00:41:03,753
very warm and
very generous and
975
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,838
had this remarkable spirit,
and I think that's
976
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,049
what people
responded to her.
977
00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:11,260
It was devastating.
She was so...
978
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,804
central to everything
that happened with
979
00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:15,014
Saturday Night Live,
she was just...
980
00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:16,724
at the
beating heart of all of it.
981
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:19,811
Gilda's story was marked
by darkness and light,
982
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,688
one fuelling the other,
983
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:23,690
but in bringing her
struggles to the screen,
984
00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,608
she shaped the
future of comedy
985
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:27,193
for decades to come.
986
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:31,030
Gilda's legacy is survivor.
987
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:33,616
For a woman to survive
988
00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:36,661
being in the male
-dominated industry
989
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,913
like comedy,
is a game changer.
990
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,875
She literally set a
precedent for
991
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:45,545
all of the female
performers on SNL.
992
00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:47,255
Every last one of them.
993
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,715
It sounds like a cliche,
994
00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:51,509
but her trailblazing humour,
995
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:54,846
especially as regards women,
it was something that
996
00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:57,014
really, we had
never seen before.
997
00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:59,225
She allowed women
to be women.
998
00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:00,727
Like forever,
999
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:02,854
you couldn't run a
minute mile, right?
1000
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:04,772
No one could do that,
it was unheard of,
1001
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,649
and then someone did and
then everybody could do it.
1002
00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:09,068
I think that Gilda was
that for women in comedy.
1003
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:10,945
She just kind of
lived in her truth.
1004
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:14,031
Her time on this earth
was so powerful
1005
00:42:14,031 --> 00:42:15,742
because she did that.
1006
00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:18,953
Gilda Radner's legacy is
1007
00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:21,456
letting your light
shine brightly
1008
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:24,500
and then sharing it
with all of us.
1009
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:28,254
Letting us know the truth
behind the story
1010
00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:30,298
and the truth
behind that light
1011
00:42:30,298 --> 00:42:32,049
so that we can remember it,
1012
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:35,261
and laugh with it,
and cry with it.
1013
00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,513
I don't know a
human being alive
1014
00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,223
who isn't screwed up,
1015
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,017
who isn't a mess,
1016
00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:43,269
who doesn't have darkness.
1017
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:46,522
I don't know as many who
can take all that and
1018
00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:50,485
put it out there in a
way that is funny.
1019
00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:52,737
I think Gilda's skill was
1020
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:55,323
taking all of that
stuff and sharing it,
1021
00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:57,867
but in a way now,
I can be left alone
1022
00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,577
with what I'm feeling.
1023
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:02,663
In my life, comedy has
made the difference
1024
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:04,248
between tragedy.
1025
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,126
A comic view of the world
is what saved me
1026
00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:10,171
time and time again,
and...
1027
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:12,632
and I love being funny.
1028
00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,467
It's not a sad story.
1029
00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:17,929
The great thing about life
is death is not bad.
1030
00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:20,556
It's living your
life without purpose,
1031
00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:24,185
and I think Gilda lived with
purpose and passion.
1032
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,728
What more do you want?
1033
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:28,648
But leave me my dreams.
1034
00:43:28,648 --> 00:43:31,692
Dreams are like paper.
1035
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:34,946
They tear so easily.
1036
00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:37,865
I love to play.
1037
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,828
But every time I play,
you win.
1038
00:43:41,828 --> 00:43:47,792
♪ [Accordion] ♪
1039
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:50,503
Ciao.
1040
00:43:50,503 --> 00:43:55,007
♪
1041
00:43:55,007 --> 00:44:00,221
♪