1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,716 Hi, I'm Gilda Radner and... 2 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,176 [Chuckling] Okay, now. 3 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,135 [Applauding] 4 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,012 [narrator] Gilda Radner created some of TV's 5 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,639 most iconic characters. 6 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,474 This is Baba Wawa at Large. 7 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,018 Committing to her comedy with total abandon. 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,187 People there they got these funny belly buttons, 9 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,356 like some go in, and some go out. 10 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,942 And showing America what a funny woman could do. 11 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,569 She's the first cast member ever of SNL. 12 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,737 She was number one. 13 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,155 Never mind. 14 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:34,993 Gilda Radner was one of my comedy goddesses. 15 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,328 Boom ba ba boom! 16 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:40,999 She permeates all things female comedy. 17 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,543 I am woman, hear me roar. 18 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,170 [Roaring] 19 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,632 She was ballsy, she was feminine, she was hilarious. 20 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,343 I nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swell, 21 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,553 my gums are bleeding, my sinuses are clogged, 22 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,265 I got heartburn, I'm cranky and I have gas. 23 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,933 My brain cracked open. 24 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,810 She was being ridiculous and gross and 25 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,019 people were laughing. 26 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:04,273 She was fearless and she was physical. 27 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,191 You're idolizing this person and saying, 28 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,985 "If I wanna do it, I wanna be like Gilda." 29 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,028 But for all the jokes on stage... 30 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,072 I told everyone I was going to the bathroom, 31 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,408 but I really went to a coffee shop and had apple pie 32 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,993 à la mode and I ate the whole thing. 33 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,869 She was grappling with a darker reality 34 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,329 behind the scenes. 35 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,331 She was very conscious of what she looked like. 36 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,208 I think she had some serious demons. 37 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,628 She was addicted to love and attention and food. 38 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:30,257 While this fame is happening, your wildest dreams, 39 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,968 you look in the mirror and you have body dysmorphia. 40 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,846 She said, "I'm gonna teach you how to eat as much as 41 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,597 you want and not gain weight." 42 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,599 Gilda's life was in danger. 43 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,852 How did one of the greatest comedians of a generation 44 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,729 nearly die from the same struggles 45 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,772 she laughed about on screen? 46 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,191 'Eating disorder' wasn't in the zeitgeist then. 47 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:52,362 I don't think she understood how dangerous it was. 48 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,739 [Overlapping voices] Ladies and gentlemen! 49 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,240 You are about to be entertained! 50 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,492 Getting the laugh is the greatest addiction. 51 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,744 They want more of it, they want more of it. 52 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,579 He was getting death threats. It [beep] with your head! 53 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,622 He's out of his skull! That's what took her down. 54 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,750 This is a crazy story. 55 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,131 [Applauding] 56 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,175 Hi Fern, I'm home! 57 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,637 When 'Saturday Night Live' hit the airwaves in 1975, 58 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,473 Gilda Radner is a truly standout star. 59 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,099 ...I could drink a horse. 60 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,810 She seems to have a magical ability to connect with 61 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,271 crowds and crack up a room. 62 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:30,692 You know, we all can't be brainy like Fern here. 63 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:31,985 [Laughing] 64 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,072 Gilda's inner child was very alive a lot of the time, 65 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,823 you know, so you could be very playful 66 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,283 and goofy with her. 67 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,411 I remember her being just funny and silly and big and... 68 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,872 everybody liked Gilda. 69 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,041 Growing up in golden age Detroit, 70 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,543 Gilda seems destined for showbiz. 71 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,754 When I was a little girl growing up in Detroit, 72 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,757 my dad used to take me to see shows when they'd come 73 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,259 into town, and we'd sit in about the third row, 74 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,220 and I'd look up on the stage and the people up there 75 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,305 just always looked so happy to be there. 76 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,808 I thought to myself that that's what I wanted to do 77 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,351 and that's where I wanted to be. 78 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,104 A successful businessman, her father runs a hotel that 79 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:10,899 hosts entertainers, and he encourages Gilda's talent. 80 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,485 She always said she got her sense of humour from her 81 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:17,656 father who was a great jokester and had a certain 82 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,660 kind of, you know, off kilter view of the world. 83 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,912 She was the apple of her dad's eye. 84 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,081 He just adored her and 85 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,749 she loved to make him laugh. 86 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,167 But for all her father's love, 87 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,545 Gilda's childhood is still unsettled. 88 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,338 My mother couldn't take the winters, 89 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,091 so every November my family would go to Miami Beach and 90 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:39,177 live for maybe four months, and then come back to Detroit. 91 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,722 My brother and I couldn't get attached anywhere. 92 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,640 I didn't have any friends. 93 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,184 Gilda takes refuge in her imagination and 94 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,186 over eats to cope with stress. 95 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,938 Then at age twelve, 96 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,815 her childhood is turned upside down. 97 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,235 Gilda's father was diagnosed with brain cancer, 98 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,448 and it was a very long, drawn out ordeal for Gilda, 99 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,742 probably very traumatic. 100 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,036 Gilda's father dies when she's only 14 years old. 101 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,581 It was too great and sudden a loss of a person 102 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,916 whom I adored, and who adored me. 103 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:14,129 I spent years trying to mourn my father's death properly. 104 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,257 A decade later, Gilda follows love to Canada. 105 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,760 No intention of a life in show business, 106 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,180 but her fate intersects with a special moment in time. 107 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:27,267 Toronto was an extraordinary city back in the 70s. 108 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,019 There was just a lot of opportunity, 109 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:33,190 from Second City to "Godspell" to TV series. 110 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,942 There were so many of us around and 111 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,403 Gilda somehow came into my life. 112 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,614 Surrounded by a generation of future stars, 113 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,491 Gilda follows her love for performance 114 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,326 back to the local stage. 115 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,496 I first met Gilda in the early 70s when we were both 116 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:52,125 cast in a children's show called 'Modern Fables.' 117 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,878 She found out that there was an audition coming up 118 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,129 for "Godspell". 119 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,883 It's basically the story of Jesus done as a musical 120 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,927 filled with clowns and hippies. 121 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,887 People were auditioning left, right and centre. 122 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,639 Gilda was not particularly a singer, 123 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,391 but she went in and sang "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah", 124 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,936 and she's Gilda, so she killed it. 125 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,063 That was the beginning of her stepping out of 126 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,649 sort of obscurity into the spotlight. 127 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,902 [Singing] ...description of the Promised Land, 128 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:19,903 maybe you could reach it. 129 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,447 That was the first professional job I'd ever had. 130 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,032 I don't, I can't speak for Paul. 131 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,283 -Is that the first? -Same for me, yeah. 132 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,201 Okay. 133 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,410 There were some really amazing people in there. 134 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,371 Yeah, Marty Short, Andrea Martin, 135 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,790 Eugene Levy, Nancy Dolman. 136 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,708 We all started out together, 137 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:34,876 didn't know what would happen. 138 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,587 We just spent a year jumping up and down. 139 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,258 On Godspell's crowded stage, Gilda shines. 140 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,511 The first time I ever laid eyes on Gilda was in 141 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,180 "Godspell" and there was this little beaming face in this 142 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,392 ocean of brown wavy hair, and your eyes just 143 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,269 went to her and stayed with her. 144 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,354 She was magnetic as hell. 145 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,648 She just had it, you know, whatever that thing was, 146 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,651 it was a stage full of really talented performers, 147 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,028 but Gilda just was standout right away. 148 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,697 Instant hit. 149 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:07,534 For Gilda, 'Godspell" whets a growing appetite for fame. 150 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,286 I think she got the taste of it. 151 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,913 I think she knew it was the pond 152 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,707 she was supposed to swim in. 153 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,333 I remember walking down the street with her one day, 154 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:19,004 and I was really well known in this city at that time, 155 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,797 and Gilda kept saying, "Everybody knows you. 156 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,632 I want people to know me." 157 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,635 And I went, "I have a feeling." 158 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,263 Gilda catches the eye of another rising star, 159 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,641 John Belushi, and is recruited to New York City 160 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,144 to co-star in a radio comedy hour. 161 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,314 ♪ [Singing] ♪ 162 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:41,026 You're listening to the National Lampoon Radio Hour. 163 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,111 Gilda hits the airwaves for the first time 164 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,323 with other future greats like John Belushi, Bill Murray, 165 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,700 and Harold Ramis, but in New York, 166 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,702 something even bigger is brewing. 167 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,996 A producer named Lorne Michaels sets out 168 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,166 to find the very first cast for a sketch comedy show 169 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,044 called 'Saturday Night Live.' 170 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,795 ...and a double take to the left. 171 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,423 He has his eye on one performer in particular. 172 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,134 -Ladies and gentlemen. -Ah! [Laughing] 173 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,886 [Announceer] Gilda "Radnay"! 174 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,722 "Ner". Gilda Radner. 175 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,724 I'm not gonna talk about food, 176 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,893 and I'm not gonna talk about guys, 177 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:18,355 and I already did all my comedy material in the 178 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:21,149 first five minutes that I saw everyone 179 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,443 to win them over as my friends. 180 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,321 She's the first cast member ever of SNL. 181 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,697 She was number one. 182 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,075 The very first person cast on "Saturday Night Live", 183 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:33,536 Gilda is on the brink of life altering fame. 184 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,580 A pioneer in the making. 185 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:40,126 I think the thing that Lorne saw in Gilda is this 186 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,963 magnetic woman who's not afraid to be silly. 187 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,467 [Laughing] Leave me alone. 188 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,718 Gilda, are you wearing a wig? 189 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,262 Yes. [Laughing] 190 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,391 She brought such energy to the room. 191 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:59,187 -Gilda, that was great. -Thank you! Bye. 192 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,189 Gilda is on the edge of stardom, 193 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,565 but behind the scenes 194 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,276 she's battling lifelong demons. 195 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,028 From the time I was nine years old, 196 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:11,199 I have weighed as much as 160 pounds and as little as 93. 197 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,202 Throughout my teenage years stress caused me to overeat, 198 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,870 and the fear of being fat put me on 199 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,415 tedious and endless diets. 200 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,250 She obviously knew she had a problem. 201 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,502 She had difficulty with food. 202 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,963 Gilda told me a story once, you know, 203 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,382 at a really peak neurotic moment, 204 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,759 and calling the deli and pretending she had a 205 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,262 room full of people in her apartment, 206 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,515 and she would go around the room and ask these imaginary 207 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,309 people what they wanted to order from the deli- 208 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,271 [Laughing]- and she would put in this massive order. 209 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,856 It was all for her. 210 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,775 For Gilda, a habit of stress eating is colliding with the 211 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,319 pressures of performing in the public eye. 212 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:51,239 The phrase 'eating disorder' wasn't in the zeitgeist then. 213 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:54,617 I think it took some years to understand 214 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,537 exactly how dire it got. 215 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:07,756 [Applauding] 216 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,301 Live from New York, it's Sunday night! 217 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,052 [Cheering] 218 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,555 'Saturday Night Live' debuts on national television 219 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,683 on October 11th, 1975. 220 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,351 -Mr. Bee? -Yes? 221 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,645 Congratulations, it's a worker! 222 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,939 And Gilda is one of the very first to 223 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,274 connect with audiences. 224 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,859 Boom ba ba boom! 225 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,069 [Laughing] 226 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,113 Gilda Radner was 227 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,158 one of my comedy goddesses. 228 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,494 [Shouting over each other] 229 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:41,247 She was fearless and she was physical and 230 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,541 she was gorgeous, you know, cute as a button, 231 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,961 but also unfettered by whatever this was. 232 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,838 She was just bringing her whole self. 233 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:52,675 Here with an editorial reply is Miss Emily Litella. 234 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,513 What's all this fuss I keep hearing about 235 00:09:56,513 --> 00:10:00,058 violins on television? 236 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,310 It was just a ponytail and a pair of glasses, 237 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,812 and the body changed. 238 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,313 -It's terrible the way things- -Miss Litella? 239 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,689 -What? What? -Miss Litella... 240 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,566 That was "violence on television", 241 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,735 not violins... violence. 242 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:14,364 -Oh. Well, that's different. -Yes. 243 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,865 Never mind. 244 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,786 "Never mind." [Laughing] 245 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,621 La la la la la! 246 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,541 As 'Saturday Night Live' becomes a national event, 247 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,710 Gilda introduces a series of iconic characters and 248 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,712 quickly becomes a sensation. 249 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,631 This is Baba Wawa at Large. 250 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,924 [Applauding] 251 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,301 She was the first person to replicate news anchors, 252 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,221 and that is now the most popular thing 253 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,808 on SNL is the news. Like, that is the segment. 254 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,686 There's never a dull moment in my "iwustwious caweer". 255 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:45,937 Baba Wawa... 256 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,981 oh man, Gilda nails it. 257 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,025 I'm hoping as I watch there's some type of transference, 258 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,361 you know, some osmosis, because... 259 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,113 Gilda, she just has it. 260 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,824 And tonight we'll be talking to an actual "wiving wegend". 261 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,952 The incwedible Mawena Goyshwin. 262 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,036 [Laughing] 263 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,788 I have a very vivid memory. 264 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040 I was about 12 years old, 265 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,960 and I told my mom, 266 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,253 "Have you noticed that there aren't any 267 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,838 funny women anywhere"? 268 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,549 And she got pissed and she showed me Gilda Radner. 269 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,176 A Mr. Richard Fedder from Fort Lee, 270 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,095 New Jersey writes in and says, 271 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,223 "Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna. 272 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,976 Last Thursday I quit smoking. 273 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,562 Now I'm depressed, I gained weight, 274 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,606 my face broke out, I'm nauseous, 275 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,399 I'm constipated, my feet swell, 276 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,692 my gums are bleeding, 277 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,485 my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, 278 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,237 I'm cranky, and I have gas." 279 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,908 -[Laughing] -"What should I do?" 280 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,494 Mr. Fedder, you sound like a real attractive guy. 281 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,370 [Laughing] 282 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,830 My brain cracked open. 283 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,498 It was a profound moment for me. 284 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,209 She was being successfully gross as a woman. 285 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,921 This is a time where we're, we're figuring out, like, 286 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,297 what is a woman? 287 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,216 Is it just a possession of a man? 288 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,551 Is she just, like, supposed to be a wife? 289 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,762 And she's like, "No, I'm gonna be a, 290 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:04,390 a loudmouth comedian." Which in itself is so radical. 291 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,935 I am woman, hear me roar. 292 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,686 [Roaring] 293 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:13,233 Gilda had the ability to be herself and hold her own 294 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,234 on a stage full of testosterone. 295 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,527 Gilda Radner was the first person to 296 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,404 say 'bitch' on television. 297 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,114 -Bitch. -[Laughing] 298 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,908 That is a big deal. 299 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,619 To be able to curse on camera, 300 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,163 but still be a woman and still be loved. 301 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,748 Audiences across the country 302 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,875 quickly see something fresh in Gilda. 303 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,169 A woman whose brand of comedy is raw, 304 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,755 authentic, and totally relatable. 305 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,549 Early in the show, we were sitting in Lorne Michael's 306 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:42,178 office where we would pitch ideas for the host. 307 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,473 Gilda had just been talking to us about what she had 308 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,642 eaten from the time she had woken up, 309 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,227 you know, a lot of candy. 310 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,146 She was pioneering compulsive candor. 311 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,607 We were just rolling on the floor. 312 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,985 Everybody knew that was gonna be solid laughs, 313 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,195 and Lorne immediately made out a card, 314 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,030 "What Gilda Ate", and put it up like 315 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,699 she had pitched a sketch. 316 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:03,950 [Applauding] 317 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,702 And now a new feature on Saturday Night, 318 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,954 "What Gilda Ate". Gilda? 319 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,789 Thanks, Rob. Okay. 320 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,792 I started the day with one piece of dry toast and two 321 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,545 egg whites scrambled in a no-stick Teflon pan. 322 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,840 I just loved it because comedy up until then had 323 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,467 never been about women, it had always 324 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,302 pretty much been about men, 325 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,680 and maybe men making fun of women. 326 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,599 But it wasn't women making fun of themselves or 327 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,270 commenting on the state of being a woman. 328 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,148 That was what was really quite exciting about 329 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,941 'Saturday Night Live.' 330 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,860 And then when I got back to the office I told everyone 331 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,112 I was going to the bathroom, but I really went to 332 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,239 a coffee shop and had apple pie à la mode and 333 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,615 I ate the whole thing. 334 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,993 And on the way back up in the elevator I found a Milk Dud 335 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,245 covered with tobacco in the bottom of my purse. 336 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,329 [Laughing] 337 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,914 It was hilariously funny, but, you know, 338 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,750 really sad at the same time. 339 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,543 It was a confession because she ate 340 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,045 more than she wanted to eat. 341 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,046 Peanut MUNCH bar and a box of Cheez It's. 342 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,255 Thank you very much, Gilda, that's enough, thank you. 343 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,256 Wait, I'm not finished yet. 344 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,674 I know but we have to go on with the show, I'm sorry. 345 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,634 -Oh, I'll just go get a snack. -Okay. 346 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,386 [Laughing] 347 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,306 While Gilda taps into her neuroses for material, 348 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,808 almost overnight she is thrust into the 349 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,560 crucible of fame. 350 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,688 She zoomed to stardom so quickly and 351 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,858 everything had changed so rapidly. 352 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,401 At first it was, like, 353 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,196 really fun to be in this goldfish bowl. 354 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,365 You'd roll out of this intense three week period 355 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,993 of three shows and people would be 356 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,037 echoing catchphrases you used. 357 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,914 You know, like Gilda would hear, "Never mind." 358 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,167 Yee-hee-hee-hee! 359 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,753 Live from Mardi Gras, it's Saturday night! 360 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,880 [Cheering] 361 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,508 With SNL's popularity hitting the stratosphere, 362 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,594 the team takes the show on the road to New Orleans. 363 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,723 For Gilda, it's a taste of fame that sours her appetite. 364 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,141 Hello, hello! 365 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,685 It was a disaster on many levels, 366 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,480 and people started to really run after Gilda and 367 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,482 kind of want pieces of her. 368 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,901 And I think they were chasing her and there was 369 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,445 some menace if they can't get what they want. 370 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,863 People were cracking up. 371 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,241 It felt like the world was watching, you know? 372 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,159 A lot of people were watching. 373 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,537 [Cheering] 374 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,997 Hounded into hiding, Gilda escapes through 375 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,542 the New Orleans airport in disguise. 376 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,962 There's no school to how to become famous gracefully. 377 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,840 At first there are some perks and it seems wonderful, 378 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,758 but there's another side to it 379 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,218 where you have no privacy. 380 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,388 [Indistinct shouting] 381 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,141 You're still following me? 382 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,143 Stop! Leave me alone! 383 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,228 In New Orleans, I think she really saw the 384 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,981 dark side of fame and it scared the shit out of her. 385 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,567 Back in New York, the intense demands of 386 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,278 the show's weekly schedule start increasingly 387 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,947 bearing down on Gilda and the cast. 388 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,866 The legend of 'Saturday Night Live' 389 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,285 is that it is gruelling. 390 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,372 That show is made every week, in a week, 391 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,915 and then it goes live. 392 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,293 And there are many, many stories of 393 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,170 the pressure and the stress. 394 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,755 Hi, Yorta. Hi, George. 395 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:05,798 Sorry we're late. 396 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,133 Suddenly you're there, but there's a 397 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,759 whole bunch of other people there too. 398 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,720 How do you get in front of the camera? 399 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,847 And it was pretty crazy 'cause, you know, 400 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,974 a lot of the cast members were doing drugs, 401 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,476 and this heavy intense schedule, 402 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,937 and having to come up with stuff all the time. 403 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,481 But there were problems and obstacles for 404 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,066 the women in that company. 405 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,985 There was a lot of pushing around, I guess, 406 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,279 for territory amongst the actors and 407 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,822 especially the men. 408 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,991 Under pressure and competing for space, 409 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,285 Gilda's anxieties are also amplified by 410 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,787 an entirely new experience... 411 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,707 being watched by millions every week. 412 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,918 You're on camera, the camera adds 10 pounds, 413 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,337 you're standing next to a really skinny person. 414 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,757 Sometimes people have no compunction about saying 415 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,759 what her body looked like in something, 416 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,303 and you'd watch the playback of the show later. 417 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,014 Suddenly the world can see her body and, 418 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,099 she was very conscious of what she looked like. 419 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,519 Yeah, she was hard on herself that way. 420 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,271 Even a woman doctor like me can have a weight problem. 421 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,523 That's why for many years I've tried exhausting 422 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,026 exercises, harmful pills, and worst of all, 423 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,111 complex and annoying diets. 424 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:12,240 So finally, I wrote my own book. 425 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,241 There've always been these 426 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,369 impossible beauty standards for women. 427 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,579 [Ringing] 428 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,623 -Hello? -It's Charlie, Angel. 429 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,958 Time to go to work. 430 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,793 In magazines and on TV 431 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,921 during the 1960s and the 1970s, 432 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,173 women were thin, and gorgeous, 433 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,634 and blonde, and perfect. 434 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,053 Now, Gilda wasn't blonde 435 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,389 but she could control her weight, 436 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,933 and she did that by restricting her food and 437 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,935 getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner, 438 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,355 because that was what she could control in that moment. 439 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:47,733 The stress seemed to be getting to her and 440 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,652 that was the form it took. 441 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,195 Gilda never really smoked pot, 442 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,322 nor did she like cocaine, which she called, 443 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,532 'the devil's dandruff'. 444 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,493 She wanted to, you know, be skinny. 445 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,662 That was her jones. 446 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,586 ♪ TO WEAR MY CLOTHES WITHOUT ♪ 447 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,755 ♪ IMPRINTING IN MY SKIN, ♪ 448 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:14,343 ♪ THE ELASTIC FROM MY UNDERPANTS. ♪ 449 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,512 ♪ UNDERPANTS. ♪ 450 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,681 Gilda Radner continues to win over audiences 451 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:22,476 with her unvarnished comedy, but under the spotlight 452 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,854 she battles with her food intake. 453 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,231 Onstage, she jokes about weight and 454 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,525 her diet of artificial sweeteners. 455 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,193 ♪ [Vocalizing] ♪ 456 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,030 Now saccharin and I will be together forever 457 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,906 in low calorie heaven. 458 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:36,991 [Laughing] 459 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:37,950 ♪ Saccharin! ♪ 460 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,910 ♪ You left a bad taste in my mouth! ♪ 461 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,329 ♪ But you kept my seams from bustin'! ♪ 462 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,164 ♪ Saccharin! Without you in my life ♪ 463 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,250 ♪ my body would be absolutely disgusting! ♪ 464 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,462 For years she'd been eating so much saccharin and 465 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,798 so much Diet Tab, and we'd try to get her off it 466 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,968 because there was awareness blooming, 467 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,679 finally, that some of these artificial 468 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,349 sweeteners are carcinogenic. 469 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:05,019 She was struggling with eating disorders and then 470 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,229 simultaneously would be doing 471 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,523 bits on SNL about that. 472 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:13,152 Live from New York, it's Saturday night! 473 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,904 As the show continues, 474 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,531 Gilda's eating disorder takes another turn. 475 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:21,494 Gilda was so stressed about having to perform and 476 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,081 having to achieve an ideal, that her now anorexia 477 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,875 has developed into purging. 478 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,919 So, she has, at this point, 479 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,129 run the gamut of eating disorders. 480 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,841 She went from overeating to not eating at all and 481 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,968 now she's eating and vomiting it up. 482 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,971 Early on, Gilda said, "I'm gonna teach you 483 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,849 how to eat as much as you want and not gain weight." 484 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,810 And I ate all this food, and then 485 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,853 she taught me how to throw it up. 486 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,689 That, you know, was a shiny new toy. 487 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,899 You know, "Oh my God, I can eat all I want 488 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,984 and there's no penalty." 489 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,988 I remember hearing that she was binging and purging, 490 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,698 and I was kind of shocked because 491 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,450 why would she need to do that? 492 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:05,955 I felt for her because it's such a pressure cooker that 493 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,542 they're living in and the thing for women to be thin is 494 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:14,171 so important, but of course an eating disorder is not 495 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:17,299 just about being thin. It's about control. 496 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,803 In a world where you don't have any control, 497 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:24,557 especially in entertainment, like, who likes you? 498 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,184 Who doesn't? I want to be loved. 499 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,519 Well, I can control this, 500 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,813 and I will focus my control on this because 501 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,357 everything else feels like I can't control it. 502 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,192 Offstage and away from the cameras, 503 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,529 Gilda searches for a bit of solid ground and security, 504 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,905 in love. 505 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,576 Lorne Michaels said Gilda was a genius comic, 506 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,995 but she was obsessed with two things, 507 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,622 her career and having a boyfriend. 508 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,833 I think she was looking for a place to land, 509 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,126 where she felt safe. 510 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:55,421 I think Gilda, for all her charm and all her joy and 511 00:20:55,421 --> 00:21:00,593 all that beauty of her, also needed to feel secure. 512 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,553 From Toronto to New York, Gilda has dated 513 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,680 some of the biggest stars of the time. 514 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,098 From Dan Aykroyd to 515 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,184 Martin Short and Paul Simon. 516 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,769 Now in the midst of SNL's chaos, 517 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,688 she finds Bill Murray. 518 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,815 There was an attraction, it metastasized. 519 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,066 They got together. 520 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,819 You could completely see why, they had a lot of chemistry. 521 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,655 [Laughing continues] 522 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,410 Anne Beatts and I wrote, "The Nerds". 523 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,537 Mom, you don't have to worry about me 524 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,789 going all the way with Todd. 525 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,042 It was a real litmus test of what was going on 526 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,835 in Gilda and Billy's relationship, 527 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,337 which was hot and cold. 528 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,672 This is your graduation gift from me. 529 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:42,092 Really? 530 00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,470 -Ah! -Agh! 531 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:47,556 He had another long-term girlfriend, 532 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,059 so they didn't want to go too big with it. 533 00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,894 Quit it, Pizza Face. 534 00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,604 You're messing up my hair, 535 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,773 boy, are you ever immature. 536 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,566 But then when they would do "The Nerds", 537 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,276 how they were getting along was 538 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,779 completely reflected in the sketch. 539 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,280 Are there any new developments? 540 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,616 -[Yelling] Stop! -I guess not! 541 00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,701 So you know, you really ought to put some bandaids 542 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,453 on those mosquito bites you got there. 543 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:13,415 Ha-ha-ha. That's so funny I forgot to laugh. 544 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,293 She developed this codependency on men, 545 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:19,547 and she went from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend... 546 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,257 she was never really alone. 547 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,925 I think that's a hard balance. 548 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:26,554 To go from being adored on the giant macro scale 549 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,390 of that, to then living a private life, 550 00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,642 and Gilda was never lacking for love, 551 00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:33,644 everyone in her life loved her... 552 00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:36,063 but I think Gilda's need for love was massive. 553 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:40,276 ♪ 554 00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:42,361 ♪ ...JEWISH JEANS. ♪ 555 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,737 ♪ SHE SHOPS THE SALE. ♪ 556 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,197 Despite fame and acclaim, 557 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,575 by the late 1970s Gilda's demons 558 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:50,578 are starting to show up off stage as well. 559 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:53,289 During the third and fourth year she was very thin. 560 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,791 Sometimes I would go out to dinner with Gilda. 561 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:58,085 After eating dinner with us she would get up in the 562 00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,130 restaurant and go around and ask strangers for bites of 563 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,424 their dessert, which was a very odd, 564 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:06,218 curious thing to do, and she was at that point 565 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,345 the darling of New York. 566 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,723 You know, she was America's sweetheart, 567 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,475 and they were sort of thrilled to have 568 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:14,894 a Gilda story. 569 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:17,021 I'm sure after one of those she would have to 570 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,981 go and throw it up, wherever she could 571 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,400 do it and not be overheard. 572 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,736 Back in the 1970s, Gilda's friends 573 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,446 knew there was something wrong with her, 574 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,781 but they didn't exactly know what it was, 575 00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:30,117 and they didn't know how to give her the 576 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,286 kind of support, and the kind of help, 577 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,204 and the kind of resources that she desperately 578 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,748 needed during that time. 579 00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:38,375 Unchecked, Gilda's eating disorders deepen 580 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,753 as she falls towards rock bottom. 581 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,463 I think everybody was worried about Gilda, 582 00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,590 but everybody was kinda trying to keep their nose 583 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,884 above the waterline themselves because of 584 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,970 just the amount of stress. 585 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,806 So, I was onto what she was doing, 586 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:54,850 I didn't know how extreme it was. 587 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:58,020 I later learned that Gilda had been hospitalized. 588 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,241 With SNL on summer hiatus in 1978, 589 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,578 Gilda Radner, one of the show's biggest stars, 590 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:18,165 finally caves under the unrelenting stress. 591 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,292 She checks herself into hospital. 592 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,752 She went in voluntarily, 593 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,129 but at that time in the 1970s, 594 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,757 going to a psychiatric facility 595 00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,759 to address psychiatric issues, 596 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,719 which is what an eating disorder is, 597 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,388 wasn't common. 598 00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,556 It was still really shameful 599 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,767 as opposed to what we feel now. 600 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,435 Go get help. 601 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,729 Gilda's doctors teach her to keep a detailed diary 602 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,774 of her diet- 1,200 calories a day- 603 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,443 nudging her up and out of the abyss. 604 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:49,279 If you think about eating disorders and you think about 605 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,199 anorexia in particular, it kind of is like a cancer, 606 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,285 where it starts to eat away at your body. 607 00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:57,204 Gilda's life was in danger. 608 00:24:57,204 --> 00:25:00,249 She was on her way to death had it not had 609 00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:02,835 some level of intervention at that time. 610 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,587 She was just such a star, it just felt like 611 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,173 everything fell in line for her. 612 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:11,510 And then you get to know her and her struggles and 613 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,596 you're now connected like, "Oh my goodness, 614 00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,974 she's suffered an eating disorder." 615 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,226 And while this fame is happening, 616 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,895 your wildest dreams, you look in the mirror 617 00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:24,398 and you have body dysmorphia, and that 618 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:27,359 mask just pretending to be normal is the 619 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,696 first mask of like, "Hi guys, I'm fine. 620 00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,156 Now I'm gonna put on a character. 621 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,116 I am now a character." 622 00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:37,035 Dr. Breadloaf's Quick Loss Diet Book. 623 00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:41,290 Let's turn to page one and read the instructions. 624 00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:43,876 Breakfast? Eat page one. 625 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,377 -[Laughing] -That's right. 626 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,880 You simply tear the page out of the book and eat it. 627 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,841 What could be easier or more slimming? 628 00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,342 Mm! 629 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:55,012 With Gilda, there was always the shadow of having been 630 00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:57,097 a chubby little girl, and I think there was 631 00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,724 a lot of baggage on that. 632 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,268 Her mother put her on Dexedrine to get her 633 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,520 to lose weight and to conform with some image 634 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,982 she wanted her daughter to express. 635 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,151 She mentioned it and sometimes we would 636 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:12,362 act out our own familial baggage on, you know, 637 00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:15,574 the airwaves, which was a strange perk of the job. 638 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:20,871 We know a lot of comics who have dark histories and 639 00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:24,041 dark childhoods that, that kinda make them 640 00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:26,251 who they were and who they are, 641 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:28,670 and I think Gilda is no exception. 642 00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:31,215 You want the acceptance of your mother. 643 00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:33,717 If she's saying I'm not enough, 644 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,386 then I need to go and figure out how to be enough. 645 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:40,599 Comedy is a mental disorder where 646 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,851 you need people to love you. 647 00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:45,687 Strangers are preferable. 648 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:49,191 She was seeking validation from strangers, 649 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,068 from laughter, from anything. 650 00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:53,821 But for Gilda, putting her whole self out there 651 00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:56,198 has already taken a dangerous toll. 652 00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:59,743 I think being a performer is a high wire act. 653 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:03,497 It's hard to be open and vulnerable 654 00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:05,165 and expose yourself. 655 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,793 You're exposing your soul, your heart... 656 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,212 you're giving up a lot of your pain, 657 00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:13,173 and as a result of that I think other things 658 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,217 come loose in the machinery. 659 00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:18,679 Why do we see so many performers fall into drugs? 660 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:21,139 Fall into addictive behaviour? 661 00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:23,517 You have to be willing to open yourself up, 662 00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:26,812 and the minute you do that... it gets scary. 663 00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,730 -Gilda Radner! -[Cheering] 664 00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:32,359 After 14 days in hospital, Gilda returns to SNL 665 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,279 vowing to stay the course to stability. 666 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,114 She's on comedy's, mountaintop, 667 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,157 and wins an Emmy for her work. 668 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,534 Thank you. 669 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:44,788 Like my dressing room at NBC, I share this with, 670 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,083 with Laraine Newman and Jane Curtin. 671 00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,336 Climbing higher, she hits Broadway solo. 672 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:54,590 Escaping for a brief moment the confines of TV, 673 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,592 certifying her star power. 674 00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,678 ♪ THE ANIMALS, THE ANIMALS, ♪ 675 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,472 ♪ LET'S TALK DIRTY TO THE ANIMALS♪ 676 00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,267 ♪ ---- YOU, MR. BUNNY. ♪ 677 00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,312 ♪ EAT SHIT, MR. BEAR. ♪ 678 00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:11,565 ♪ IF THEY DON'T LOVE IT, THEY CAN SHOVE IT, ♪ 679 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:15,527 ♪ FRANKLY I DON'T CARE, OH... ♪ 680 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,237 She had some heartbreaking numbers in that show. 681 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,823 Some amazing things. I mean, it was... 682 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:22,618 you know, it was like one step from Judy Garland. 683 00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:26,997 But statistics prove that most guys prefer skinny girls 684 00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:30,751 with cancer over healthy girls with bulging thighs. 685 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:32,711 [Applauding] 686 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,795 I remember thinking, I'm like, 687 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,714 "Does this mean you're dying?" 688 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,758 They say you gave rats cancer, 689 00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:39,801 but I say that can't be true. 690 00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:41,637 Even though it was this dark, gritty, 691 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,222 true, nasty material, 692 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:48,435 hearing just the laughs, and being with her kind 693 00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:52,230 just was such a boost for her. 694 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:55,567 Gilda's one-woman show is a huge success, 695 00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,402 and that same year she gets married to 696 00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,154 her band's guitarist. 697 00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,865 But back at SNL, tensions grow as 698 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,201 some of Gilda's oldest collaborators break into 699 00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:07,955 Hollywood while she continues to run ragged. 700 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,874 The pressure was just so huge and everybody 701 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,668 responded to it in a different way. 702 00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:13,877 I just left. 703 00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:17,297 In 1980, Gilda looks for a fresh start and performs in 704 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,925 her final episode of Saturday Night Live. 705 00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:23,053 Lord and Lady Douchebag. 706 00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:24,888 [Laughing] 707 00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:27,933 When Gilda left SNL, I think more than anything, 708 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:31,979 she was looking for a quiet, safe place where 709 00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:35,857 she would feel totally and completely loved, nurtured, 710 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:38,902 and appreciated for having Gilda-ness. 711 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,321 Gilda is cast in her first Hollywood feature, 712 00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,199 and her life is about to be turned upside down. 713 00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:46,785 The agents in Chicago arranged for it. 714 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,078 They didn't say anything about you. 715 00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:51,164 Oh, I'm Kate Hellman. I'm really, I'm sorry. 716 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:52,457 -How do you do? -I thought you were a burglar. 717 00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:54,292 I thought you were a burglar! 718 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,169 Something very special happened to you 719 00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:57,379 in 'Hanky Panky.' 720 00:29:57,379 --> 00:30:00,632 -Yeah, I met Gene Wilder. -Everybody loves a love story. 721 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,092 Oh, yes, I know. 722 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:06,013 Well, you know, this wonderful person... 723 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,515 got a crush on him, you know, that's what happens. 724 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,809 Start, your heart starts fluttering, you don't know, 725 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,644 you can't put two words together, 726 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:16,523 feet don't touch the floor, can't sleep at night. 727 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,483 Gilda felt abandoned by 728 00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:20,652 her father after he died. 729 00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:23,613 When somebody experiences a big traumatic event at a 730 00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:27,909 young age, you tend to become very emotionally stunted. 731 00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:29,661 If you look at Gilda's characters, 732 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:33,081 a lot of her characters are little girls and 733 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:37,294 little children or stunted women, 734 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,712 and that followed her 735 00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:41,173 throughout the rest of her life. 736 00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:44,176 She sought that validation 737 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:47,637 through men in her life and 738 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,723 she was never really alone because she didn't 739 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,851 value herself to be alone and be okay with that. 740 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,186 Gilda leaves her husband, 741 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,730 swapping New York for life in Los Angeles, 742 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:58,356 with one of the biggest movie stars 743 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,691 in the world. 744 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,778 Gilda was madly in love with Gene. 745 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,237 He was a movie star. 746 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:07,491 He wasn't someone who OD'd or had 747 00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:09,826 all kinds of neurotic problems. 748 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:12,621 He came from a slightly different generation and 749 00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:16,666 I think the scruffy, hippie, druggie thing 750 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:18,960 wasn't his shtick. It wasn't his jam. 751 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,172 Gene didn't want Gilda to have anything 752 00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:24,633 to do with any of the SNL people anymore. 753 00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,718 He didn't want Gilda anywhere near it. 754 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,386 With the stress of New York behind her, 755 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:31,098 Gilda begins to eat and live well. 756 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:34,726 I think that Gilda found a safe harbour with Gene. 757 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,728 I bet it was the first time Gilda ever had 758 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,897 that much safety. 759 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,691 A lot of my characters had a lot to do with growing up, 760 00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:46,488 and I've got a direct line to being a little girl still, 761 00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:49,116 but I don't want it to be... 762 00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:51,618 invade my life as much as it has. 763 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:54,621 I'm not, I'm less afraid to grow up. 764 00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,373 ♪ 765 00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,666 Hello, Ted. 766 00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,001 The stage is set for a big second act with her 767 00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:02,838 new co-star and partner, but success 768 00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:05,173 in the movies is harder to come by. 769 00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:07,467 I don't think film was the medium that 770 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,302 Gilda excelled in. 771 00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:11,346 When she did movies for, for Gene, 772 00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:13,390 it never quite gelled the same way 'cause 773 00:32:13,390 --> 00:32:16,017 she needed the excitement of a live audience. 774 00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:18,353 She missed performing live. 775 00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:21,022 Gilda and Gene travel to England to film what they 776 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:24,067 hope will be their first big box office hit, 777 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,987 but fate is about to take another turn. 778 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,623 You are again with him in 'Haunted Honeymoon'. 779 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,624 Yeah. 780 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,585 What was special about that role for you? 781 00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:43,920 Well, 'cause I got to be engaged to, to him 782 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,089 and I got to wear a wedding gown for 40 days in 783 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:49,885 a row straight, and I got to take wedding photos that 784 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,137 I never had from our actual marriage. 785 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,264 Now married, Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder 786 00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:55,891 are happy and full of hope 787 00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,685 trying to remedy a string of mediocre movies 788 00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:00,312 when the clouds set in. 789 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,856 Ultimately, the reviews were terrible. 790 00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:05,817 The movie bombed, which was devastating to Gilda, 791 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,278 she had wanted the movie to be a success. 792 00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:11,865 And toward the end of the filming of that movie, 793 00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,408 she got ill. 794 00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:15,243 She didn't know what was wrong. 795 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:17,913 Back in the United States after wrapping the film, 796 00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:20,248 Gilda's mysterious symptoms continue. 797 00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:23,001 I'd feel good for a few days and I'd think I was fine, 798 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,711 and then I'd wake up one day and feel like 799 00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:26,213 I was getting the flu. 800 00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,173 It was as though I was hypnotized into 801 00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:31,259 this deep sleep, like a fog rolling in over my brain 802 00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:32,928 that I couldn't escape. 803 00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,639 Virtually every doctor she saw ended up telling her that 804 00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:38,683 she was just being neurotic 805 00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,310 or she was depressed. 806 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:44,564 Anything but literally, organically, ill. 807 00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:46,274 After nearly a year of illness, 808 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:48,193 Gilda is finally diagnosed with 809 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,362 stage four ovarian cancer. 810 00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:51,947 One of the first things she said to me, 811 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:53,615 I remember so clearly, she said, 812 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:55,325 "I've been haunted. 813 00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:57,494 I've been having cancer premonitions 814 00:33:57,494 --> 00:33:59,120 since I was 12." 815 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,581 That's when her father got brain cancer. 816 00:34:01,581 --> 00:34:04,501 When she finally got this diagnosis, of course, 817 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:07,337 it was the realization of all her fears. 818 00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:11,633 ♪ 819 00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:13,885 The first night she was hospitalized, 820 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:17,889 she was alone in a room watching television, 821 00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:20,475 and there was a station that had been 822 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:25,272 running 'Saturday Night Live' reruns every night, 823 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:27,691 and so she was lying in bed 824 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:30,902 watching herself on television, 825 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:35,073 and she was feeling totally alienated. 826 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:38,451 You know, she realized that she'd gone from, you know, 827 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,913 major star to this 828 00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:45,250 helpless figure in a hospital bed. 829 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,711 Gilda starts to look back for understanding, 830 00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:50,714 wondering if she had tempted fate all along. 831 00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:53,550 I was heavy into saccharin and cyclamates 832 00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:55,260 for over 20 years. 833 00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,721 I would put those tablets in my coffee in the morning 834 00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,514 to make it really sweet. 835 00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:01,558 I coped with stress by having every possible 836 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,894 eating disorder from the time I was nine years old. 837 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:07,188 I sang a song once called 'Goodbye Saccharin' 838 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:09,065 about how I had to have saccharin because 839 00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:10,525 sugar would make me fat, 840 00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:12,861 and I'd rather be thin and get cancer 841 00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:14,946 than have bulging thighs. 842 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,365 It came back to haunt me. 843 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,159 That was a very dark line. 844 00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:20,535 We talked about it, she just said 845 00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:23,496 she wonders, was she hypnotizing herself? 846 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,874 You know, she said that line so many times. 847 00:35:25,874 --> 00:35:29,294 Knowing Gilda suffered from eating disorders 848 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:32,005 and also was making fun of 849 00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:35,800 that subject matter on SNL, of course! 850 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,094 Like, it makes perfect sense. 851 00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:41,431 All great performers, whatever they struggled with 852 00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,850 the most is what they were pushing out and 853 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,477 getting a laugh out of. 854 00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:49,272 You know, sometimes the funniest thing is the most 855 00:35:49,272 --> 00:35:51,900 truthful thing, and sometimes the truth is ugly. 856 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:54,069 That's what makes Gilda great, 857 00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,571 is that she doesn't hide from 858 00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:59,157 the crux of what makes things uncomfortable, 859 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:01,659 but also what makes things hilarious. 860 00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:04,537 But as Gilda the comedian becomes Gilda the patient, 861 00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,456 her faith in her gift falters. 862 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,958 One night, she was walking down the street in New York, 863 00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:11,878 and on this bus shelter there was 864 00:36:11,878 --> 00:36:15,423 a huge poster of Gilda from Life Magazine 865 00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:18,551 saying, "Comedian laughs in the face of cancer." 866 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,013 And, you know, she really felt like a fraud 867 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,932 because she wasn't laughing. 868 00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,768 Later on, I think that she realized, 869 00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:29,229 or it was just her natural impulse, 870 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:32,774 she needed to get control over the situation. 871 00:36:32,774 --> 00:36:35,693 In 1988 with her cancer newly in remission, 872 00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,655 Gilda sets out to rediscover her spark. 873 00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:42,158 -Am I getting fat? -[Laughing] 874 00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,619 Well, just write in and tell me. 875 00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:45,787 Really, you could do me a favour. 876 00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:47,914 I can't tell anymore. 877 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,707 Well, or sit there and care about yourself. 878 00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:51,126 It's up to you. 879 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,086 [Laughing] 880 00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:54,295 -Hi Garry! -Oh, Gilda! 881 00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,381 It's Gilda Radner, everybody. 882 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:59,259 Gilda goes out on stage on Garry Shandling's show. 883 00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:01,803 It's the first time she's been on TV since 884 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,263 everything has happened. 885 00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:08,059 [Cheering & applauding] 886 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,478 No, no. Really. 887 00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,522 Don't, don't, don't milk the applause like that, it's... 888 00:37:12,522 --> 00:37:13,481 [Laughing] 889 00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:14,566 Oh, I'm sorry, Garry. 890 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:16,234 I haven't been on television for a while. 891 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,111 Oh that, yeah, what, what was wrong? 892 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,988 -Oh, I had cancer. -[Laughing] 893 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:21,322 What did you have? 894 00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,867 [Laughing] 895 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:26,327 I just had a series of bad career moves. 896 00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:27,912 [Laughing] 897 00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,038 Which by the way, there's no treatment for 898 00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:31,416 whatsoever, so you really... 899 00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:35,211 People talk about how comedy is a way of not being fully 900 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,714 vulnerable because you make a joke out of it. 901 00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:39,132 Come on. 902 00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:43,845 [Cheering & applauding] 903 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,430 But there's power to that. 904 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:47,307 Taking something that's tragic, or hidden, 905 00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,642 or shameful, and flipping it around and 906 00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:51,269 turning it into a joke. 907 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:55,482 She somehow spun it so people would laugh, 908 00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:58,443 so much in a way that she made you comfortable 909 00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,612 talking about her illness. 910 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:05,033 Gilda really shined a light on what cancer, 911 00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:08,036 and the cancer patient experiences. 912 00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,663 She said, "Okay, now I'm gonna tell all. 913 00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:12,248 I have, I have nothing to lose. 914 00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:14,751 I've been to the mountaintop, for other women and 915 00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,586 other people who are suffering. 916 00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:18,254 I'm gonna tell my story." 917 00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:22,133 That's when you see the complete evolution of Gilda. 918 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,761 She's not sitting down crying a river. 919 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,096 She's cracking jokes. 920 00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:30,642 We don't have control of what ultimately happens to us, 921 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:34,479 but we have control over how we react to it, 922 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,607 and Gilda had the perfect reaction. 923 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,150 With a winning return to television, 924 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,945 Gilda begins to see the possibility of a new dawn 925 00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:43,738 on the small screen. 926 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:46,157 When I talked to Gilda about it later, she said, 927 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,451 you know, "I felt like I was coming home. 928 00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,246 When I opened that door and walked onto the stage 929 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:54,874 and felt the cameras and so on... 930 00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:56,668 It was like coming home." 931 00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:06,844 In the spring of 1988, 932 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,972 Gilda Radner is in remission. 933 00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:11,933 She's booked to host a triumphant return at SNL, 934 00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,935 and dreaming of a new show, 935 00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:17,230 when her recovery is cruelly cut short. 936 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,066 She had been in remission and then it came back pretty 937 00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:22,819 full force and she kind of knew it was curtains. 938 00:39:22,819 --> 00:39:25,280 She had come to a place of surrender 939 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,657 and that she had gone through all the emotions 940 00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:30,618 up- to get to that place. 941 00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:34,789 In May, 1989, at the age of only 42, 942 00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:37,584 Gilda Radner enters hospital in Los Angeles 943 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,502 for a routine scan. 944 00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:42,589 After receiving a sedative, she falls into a coma. 945 00:39:42,589 --> 00:39:45,883 She never wakes up. 946 00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:48,970 Saturday Night Live was getting ready to go to air 947 00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:50,930 when the news broke. 948 00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:52,223 You know, I've been coming here to do 949 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,809 'Saturday Night Live' since 1976 and 950 00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,894 the thing that keeps coming back to the, 951 00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:58,521 brings you back to the show is the people 952 00:39:58,521 --> 00:40:00,607 you get to work with, and I'd like to show you 953 00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:04,319 something we recorded on this stage in 1978. 954 00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:09,157 ♪ 955 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:14,078 ♪ 956 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:18,750 ♪ 957 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,460 ♪ 958 00:40:20,460 --> 00:40:23,463 [Laughing] 959 00:40:23,463 --> 00:40:27,258 [Applauding] 960 00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:28,551 You know, when I look at that tape, 961 00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:30,720 I can't help but think how great she was and 962 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,430 how young I looked. 963 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,682 Gilda, we miss you. 964 00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,477 [Applauding continues] 965 00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:44,442 ♪ 966 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,277 As the news spreads, 967 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:49,238 tributes from former co-stars pour in. 968 00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:50,615 She was a, a love light. 969 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,033 You know, she was a, 970 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:53,618 a white light in the world and, 971 00:40:53,618 --> 00:40:55,787 and just full of love and full of support. 972 00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:57,580 She was just incredibly funny, 973 00:40:57,580 --> 00:41:00,416 and... she was... 974 00:41:00,416 --> 00:41:03,753 very warm and very generous and 975 00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,838 had this remarkable spirit, and I think that's 976 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,049 what people responded to her. 977 00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:11,260 It was devastating. She was so... 978 00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,804 central to everything that happened with 979 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:15,014 Saturday Night Live, she was just... 980 00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:16,724 at the beating heart of all of it. 981 00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:19,811 Gilda's story was marked by darkness and light, 982 00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,688 one fuelling the other, 983 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:23,690 but in bringing her struggles to the screen, 984 00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,608 she shaped the future of comedy 985 00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:27,193 for decades to come. 986 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:31,030 Gilda's legacy is survivor. 987 00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:33,616 For a woman to survive 988 00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:36,661 being in the male -dominated industry 989 00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,913 like comedy, is a game changer. 990 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,875 She literally set a precedent for 991 00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:45,545 all of the female performers on SNL. 992 00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:47,255 Every last one of them. 993 00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,715 It sounds like a cliche, 994 00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:51,509 but her trailblazing humour, 995 00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:54,846 especially as regards women, it was something that 996 00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:57,014 really, we had never seen before. 997 00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:59,225 She allowed women to be women. 998 00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:00,727 Like forever, 999 00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:02,854 you couldn't run a minute mile, right? 1000 00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:04,772 No one could do that, it was unheard of, 1001 00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,649 and then someone did and then everybody could do it. 1002 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:09,068 I think that Gilda was that for women in comedy. 1003 00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:10,945 She just kind of lived in her truth. 1004 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:14,031 Her time on this earth was so powerful 1005 00:42:14,031 --> 00:42:15,742 because she did that. 1006 00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:18,953 Gilda Radner's legacy is 1007 00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:21,456 letting your light shine brightly 1008 00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:24,500 and then sharing it with all of us. 1009 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:28,254 Letting us know the truth behind the story 1010 00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:30,298 and the truth behind that light 1011 00:42:30,298 --> 00:42:32,049 so that we can remember it, 1012 00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:35,261 and laugh with it, and cry with it. 1013 00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,513 I don't know a human being alive 1014 00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,223 who isn't screwed up, 1015 00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,017 who isn't a mess, 1016 00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:43,269 who doesn't have darkness. 1017 00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:46,522 I don't know as many who can take all that and 1018 00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:50,485 put it out there in a way that is funny. 1019 00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:52,737 I think Gilda's skill was 1020 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:55,323 taking all of that stuff and sharing it, 1021 00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:57,867 but in a way now, I can be left alone 1022 00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,577 with what I'm feeling. 1023 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:02,663 In my life, comedy has made the difference 1024 00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:04,248 between tragedy. 1025 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,126 A comic view of the world is what saved me 1026 00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:10,171 time and time again, and... 1027 00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:12,632 and I love being funny. 1028 00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,467 It's not a sad story. 1029 00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:17,929 The great thing about life is death is not bad. 1030 00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:20,556 It's living your life without purpose, 1031 00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:24,185 and I think Gilda lived with purpose and passion. 1032 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,728 What more do you want? 1033 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:28,648 But leave me my dreams. 1034 00:43:28,648 --> 00:43:31,692 Dreams are like paper. 1035 00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:34,946 They tear so easily. 1036 00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:37,865 I love to play. 1037 00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,828 But every time I play, you win. 1038 00:43:41,828 --> 00:43:47,792 ♪ [Accordion] ♪ 1039 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:50,503 Ciao. 1040 00:43:50,503 --> 00:43:55,007 ♪ 1041 00:43:55,007 --> 00:44:00,221 ♪